/wg/ - Writing General - Contest Edition XIII

[Anonymous No.]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. We’re currently hosting the /vt/ Writing Rumble, a writing contest for the whole board to get involved in. The info page & contest archive can be found here: rentry.org/WGWC

Check the main archive below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

"Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction?"
Yes.

Previous thread: >>56356658, where an intellectual discussion about cute vampires sucking dick, hags, and vore took place
/wg/ rentry: https://rentry.org/wgrentry/

[Anonymous No.]

Story anchor.
Hand them over!

[Anonymous No.]

/VT/ WRITING RUMBLE STORY ANCHOR
Reply to this post with your contest submissions.

Submissions are now open, and close on 08/25. Rules, submitted stories and other information can be found at:
rentry.org/WGWC

[Anonymous No.]

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

[Anonymous No.]

Story recap! There were five stories posted in the last thread.

The Density of Your Semen Can't Be Helped>>56386337
Tags: IRyS, NSFW, futa, size queen

Korone Komodo Dragon Vore. >>56411228
Tags: NSFW, Mori, Korone, Vore, Komodo Dragon

HoloJourneys: (Across Deserts to the Oceans Blue, A Shining Star Debuts) Chapter 37: A Lovely Night For Swashbuckling>>56445287
(Pomu, Kiara, Marine, SFW, Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Fluff)

Balsa: Chapter 20. >>56455356
tags: (you), multiple chuubas, Civia, Ciyana, medieval fantasy

I Have an Egregiously Forbidden Relationship With My Younger Sister, Who Turned Out To Be the Internet Idol Hoshimachi Suisei!
Tags: Incest, Drama, Comedy, Incest, Scratching, Biting, did I already say Incest

[Anonymous No.]

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558236
>>56558304
Please, Mrs. Usada!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRIuEVDjeLxTSnmzUuHf1RavArK665wNktjmCIIz7xpaJ7oIvzogmt-3nHEeAEE1tFWPGpz2Z7Q63BG/pub

Tags: NSFW, Pekomama, /ss/, cheating

This is a new one for me, the first time I've put a bit of a drama/romance aspect on a smut story. Still goes heavy on the smut, though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558516
Miko awkwardly performing a striptease for (You) because she wants you to get an erection at the thought of her and she's fed up not being seen as sexy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558516
Miko awkwardly performing a striptease for (You) because she wants you to get an erection at the thought of her and she's fed up not being seen as sexy, but only manages to do a single pose/move before you pounce her and breed her until the morning.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558439
>>56493840

[Anonymous No.]

Stop thinking about her mom.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56559572
Kuso... Gomeme...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56560157
S'all cool, anon, don't worry

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558932
That was pretty good. My only real critique is that you used the word instinct so many times it started to annoy me. My only subjective critique is that Marco's dick was too big and it ruined the visuals. Also you should probably tag it Anal . Nice job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56561773
1. went and lowered the uses of the word for future readers
2. big dick shota is the good shit and I'll fight for him to have his big ol carrot between his legs
thanks for reading and enjoying

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558932
Couldn't resist when I read the tags.

>Marco
Oh boy, here we go. Personally I don't mind named self-inserts, but they're not everyone's cup of tea. Some feel personally cucked when the SI isn't named Anon.

>First mating season
love a good ol' "Oh yeah, hormones, I don't need to explain SHIT!" I'm not complaining, I just felt like pointing it out because it's fun.

The set up moves a tad too fast. Little boy Marco just walks up to Pekomi and says "My penis feels funny!"
As a self proclaimed connoi/ss/eur, the appeal of shota is their innocence. Would've been better if Marco was more rounadbout about it because he felt a little shame or embarrassament talking about it. By the time you commited to the innocence angle, the image was already spoiled, at least for me it was.
This is more of a nitpick, but I don't like big dicked shota for the same reason as above, still to each their own.
Same as Pekomi doing a 180° after deepthroating a vegetable and going "Yeah, I'm fucking this 11 year old." I don't mind it too much, however.

The scene before the sex is a bit on the nose. We know the queen of a nation is about to cheat on her husband with a little boy, there's not really a need to restate it.

The description of Pekomi's body was the right amount of tasteful and obscene. Really tickles my fancy when the hags have some belly. What does a man need a skinny woman for?

As for the smut itself, I liked it. The scene was paced very well and the play with the lipstick made me smirk and little Marco doing like an actual rabbit and just assaulting Pekomi's face was a nice touch, but again, you don't need to restate it.
>Well, Marco, did you enjoy your first little step into adulthood?
This gets the point across
>With how intensely you thrust into my mouth, it certainly seemed like you did, fufu~
This is redundant.
Same with the crash course of sex-ed, and the rest of the fic. The problem repeated itself.

You did have your moments however.
>Her style of teaching was to lightly guide her students while they figured out things for themselves, and this was no exception
Exquisite. Love the wrong hole trope too, although you fell in the trap of anal to vaginal. Anuses are dirty anon.
>She took a moment to examine the ring on her finger, a small, silver band that’d been there for years…then she promptly slid it off and tossed it to the side
Fantastic.

Pekomi broke a bit too fast for my taste, and I say that as an avid NTR fan. But hey, it's whatever.

As for the drama, it's insipid. It's there, but there's not enough leverage for me to truly take it in as drama.

Overall, I think it's an average piece. Not that good, but not bad either. Just average. There's a long way to go, but you're on the right track.

Also
>her eyes almost bulged in their sockets.
Heh.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56563307
>SI isn't named Anon.
That's a big personal thing. I really don't care for "Anon" fics at all, I find them overdone; I always prefer to take a voyeuristic approach to my stories instead. This name in particular is just a little reference to something else and doesn't really mean much.
>setup moves too fast
I can see it, but the simplicity of it appeals to me. I try to make it work later by emphasizing how much he trusts and adores Pekomi, and thus wouldn't have any reservations about confiding in her, but I see that it doesn't quite work for the reader if it's shown after the fact.
>scene before the sex
That was one I inserted after the fact because I really felt I didn't do enough to have her settle what she was about to do in her head. Without it, I feel like the motive for cheating would be too weak and unnatural.
>redundancy
This is my biggest flaw when writing that I'm still trying to work out in my head; my desire to write in intense detail usually ends up with me accidentally restating things. The "teaching" dynamic was a fun heart-to-heart thing that I wanted to do to make Pekomi seem more wholesome and less like she was just using him for her own needs.
>Anuses are dirty
Not if you have hentai logic of "she keeps it clean always' on your side.
>Pekomi broke too fast
That's a personal thing, too, I'm generally not big on having the internal struggle last too long. Doesn't leave enough time for them to enjoy themselves.
>Drama is insipid
Honestly, it wasn't intended to be a drama in the first place, it just ended up happening in order to make the scenario more believable. I'd committed to making it a cheating story, and it snowballed from there.

Glad you found some enjoyment in it, thanks for your feedback.

[Anonymous No.]

If your oshi could turn into a weapon soul eater style, what kind of weapon would they be?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
An onahole

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558932
I liked it, its a fairly straight forward milf Xshota thingy but i have some gripes.
First of all is how casual pekomi is, despite supposedly feeling guilty about cheating. I would rather her hate her husband or him being dead, since it cleans that weird "oh he's right there and she loves him, but also cock"

I think you did a good job with the whole " teacher guiding him" in the dialogue,but the sex didnt use the shota or the "teaching" aspect. Also a nitpick but Anal into Vaginal is a recipe for a vaginal infection, but i can look past it. Im not that autistic

It just ends. It needs something to bring that ending together.

Aside from those critiques, i liked what you wrote and i can see myself wanking to it if i was in a really horny-for-pekomi mood.
>>56563307
>Some feel personally cucked when the SI isn't named Anon.
stupid genetic defects shouldnt be catered to. Its a courtesy to name self inserts anon but it shouldnt be a rule. That type of retarded cucks who cant read something without gosling all over it and cucking themselves will kill themselves in a week anyway, so why care

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566324
>pekomi is casual, would be better if she hated her husband
My aim was to write her as someone who doesn't really have the capacity to hate. The angle I tried to go for with her was "she's not a bad person, but she has a horrible, unbearable problem that needs to be solved and she's going put everything else out of her mind in the meantime while she gets it resolved and figure things out afterward."
>shota sex not emphasized
I did what I could to show off the size difference repeatedly, such as him hiking up on her thighs, placing her leg over his shoulder, only going up to her chest during a mating press, etc. Not sure what more I could've put in.
>teaching during sex
Tried to explain that with the "style of teaching" line. She gives him the basic information he needs and a light push, lets him figure things out himself, then explains what happened after. I feel like it'd be strange to have her explain what's going on while he's slamming her brains out.
>just ends
I'm not great at writing endings in the first place, but long, drawn-out endings aren't enjoyable to me. I prefer to do simple wrap-ups that lay down the state of things and imply the way the future will go for the characters involved in plain terms.
I am glad you enjoyed the story and I appreciate you taking the time to explain your opinions on it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
Well the obvious one for Towa (my oshi) is a trident, but speaking of chuubas transforming into weapons, I've had ideas for an Anya story where she's your greatsword. Normally you'd expect her to be a keris dagger, but I like the image of carrying a huge sword on your back that turns into an oppai loli when you rest by the fire.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56569163
>oppai loli
>Uses an image that depicts her as flat
Anon...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56569500
I'm sorry Anon, art that depicts Anya with fat tits becomes scarcer every week...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
derringer

[Anonymous No.]

>>56569163
Also I feel like for Towa a Bident (Two pronged spear) would work better if you're running with association to the underworld as the theme either that or go full ham with it and literally make it a (War)pitchfork. Tridents feel too tied to the sea and one particular shark

[Anonymous No.]

Damn... Lamy got covid and hasn't been able to taste anything since...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
What if the "weapon" was a key to the Gate of Babylon since I like all of them?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
A rubber chicken that deals sound damage.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56570635
Yeah, I tested positive too. Sorry for infecting her, Anon. We're quarantined at the moment.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56569163
Not gonna lie, I kinda like the idea of at one point in HJ, anon loses his sword for a while and grabs a keris that is just laying around in a sheathe. Unsheathing it allows anya to regain control of herself to an extent and talk. Most of the early interaction is him trying to get the point across that nothing will replace his tried and true sword to him, even if this new weapon can talk (and later turn into a cute shortstack). It could involve an arc that has other living weapons and curses. Might be cool.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
Either cestus or a warhammer.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56496497
Alright I wasn't going to, but I guess it's better than having it sit around. Still don't want it archived though.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSl_7V8Ei1mQo3ztW9o4nvnRlmP28osIZ_xHm8-1V8kAgButcn356BzbIWxd9S5cgiTZbwr62e_PsMV/pub
Consider this a non-canon premature ending to the series.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
While I think a cutlass and/or flintlock are obvious choices. I'd pick a handheld cannon like the one from Fallout 4

[Anonymous No.]

>>56571592
holy SHIT I NEED TO READ THIS AFTER WORK

[Anonymous No.]

>>56571592
I love those moments where the dominant girl in a relationship tests the boundary a bit and is pleasantly surprised to learn that her partner is subbier than she expected. Fundamental building block of an ideal femdom scene/progression imo

[Anonymous No.]

>>56572296
How about a 4 barreled blunderbuss?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
A gun.
>what gun?
A gun gun.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56573431
I like the way you think.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
A Japanese WWII rifle.
No, you don’t get to know who it is and you will never guess correctly

[Anonymous No.]

>>56574918
Who asked?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56575766
Literally the comment he's responding to you stupid unfunny fuck

[Anonymous No.]

>>56574918
Qpi from VSPO

[Anonymous No.]

>>56575909
Not my oshi but I do think she’s the hottest chuuba out there

[Anonymous No.]

>>56575851
Looks like someone's mad. Go back to watching your talentless oshi.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56574918
Ayame because she's fiercely nationalistic and WWII was the last time Japan had strong imperialist pride

[Anonymous No.]

>>56577507
Your reasoning is correct but the chuuba is incorrect

[Anonymous No.]

>>56574918
Botan because she's that old

[Anonymous No.]

>>56566195
Kusarigana
>Meme weeb weapon that she would love
>Chaos memes means that it can bounce around and or change direction
>weights as in her honkers

[Anonymous No.]

Bump

[Anonymous No.]

>tfw when all I did for my contest fic today was delete a word

[Anonymous No.]

>>56569163
i had an idea of being a rogue that finds Anya in some ruins.
She teases and acts like your tsukkomi, while you get in wacky hijinks

[Anonymous No.]

>>56586032
Better than my
>write ten pages
>they're all totally unusuable boring schlock

[Anonymous No.]

>>56571592
Well that was some of the best femdom I've read in months? Are you sure you don't want this archived because damn this was hot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558932
I have to agree with the other anons. This feels very mediocre, with not much I can say in praise but not much I can give fault to either.
I guess this is because Pekomama is effectively half of an OC since we don't really get much of her in streams but man, there is really not much there to keep me interested in this fic. Like your prose is hot enough that I could reasonably jack off to it but the lack of connection to the characters just doesn't make it good material unless I was already horny for pekomama. Ironically this all felt pretty vanilla for the genre, I think if you played the taboos harder you could have made this more interesting but as it is it's just a sex scene between one and a half OCs with not enough spice in it to make it great.
Your smut is fine, maybe a bit too emotionally detached for my tastes but I think someone else can find it hot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56590774
I mean honestly, it's pretty transparent that I kind of just wanted to write the plot of a /ss/ doujin with Pekomama
Wasn't really looking for anything too complex or ground-breaking here, just enough to hit the right notes and get the imagination going
I appreciate you giving feedback, but to me, it just sounds like you were looking for something else entirely in the first place

[Anonymous No.]

>>56591449
Yeah pretty much. I was expecting more of that kemonomimi heat to come into play in the prose or for the cheating to be used as spice. What I instead got was as vanilla of a /ss/ smut as you can get when it came to the actual sex scene.
Again, it seems like your prose is hot enough for anyone that really wants to read some pokemama smut but it's just not for me.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

I recall an Anon saying he was writing a scene where a pregnant Iroha throws you across the apartment because she thinks you’re an intruder. Is he still around?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56595945
fit Iroha whipping your lazy ass into shape
fit Iroha dragging you to the gym
fit Iroha spotting you while you bench press
fit Iroha straddling and riding you as a reward once you've finished your reps

[Anonymous No.]

>>56596875
Barely.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56571592
Aaaand never mind, this really isn't my thing. Not anywhere in the same postcode as my thing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56596943
As in... you're barely still writing or you're barely alive?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56597296
This is Anon's doctor. He flatlined shortly after submitting this post. I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56596897
She'd only ride you once you're fit enough to catch her and beat her in a fight.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56597296
Both. Mostly writing, though. I mostly got distracted by other WIPs and also fell into a rabbit hole about traditional pregnancy in Japan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56597772
Damn. Well here's hoping you get your mojo back.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56577507
>>56558516
Imagine: it's the late 40's and you're an American soldier stationed in Japan. You start hearing rumours about a beautiful girl with white hair and horns. You can't get it out of mind and you start investigating the matter. With the guidance of few locals, you go into the forest to look for her when you hear the voice belonging to that girl: "Get out foreigner!" Since you're an American soldier, you of course rape her and make Ayame addicted to gaijin cock. If someone actually wants write this fic, feel free to ignore the silly ending and make it more romantic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56598101
Instant wife reminded me of instant noodles, like its something you keep stored away until you need it. On that note,
>>56558516
Non-consensual marriage with Iroha!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56599932
>Non-consensual marriage with Iroha!
How? Does she pick you up while holoX is doing some wacky scheme and decides your hers now?

[Anonymous No.]

Sleepy thread are dying. Wake up, thread!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56602729
W-Why is my friend wearing a microphone between her legs?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56602729
I can see why this kind of vibrator works well as the "standard" in visual art, but they're kind of lame. Wireless ones are more convenient, and handheld ones allow for more intensity and control.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56603193
She's wearing a wire to record evidence. It's part of her revenge.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558516
Requesting Reine (or any chuuba really) interacting with an AI replica of themselves.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56603475
Reine would totally do selfcest if it was possible.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56603355
The charges, officer?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56603674
She was raped and now seeks revenge. Unfortunately she lives in the world of a porno and the microphone she's using to record evidence vibrates erotically while recording. Can Fubuki get (You) to monologue your confession and escape before she breaks and begs for you to take her in?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56601123
She clubs you over the head and carries you off like a caveman

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558516
Challenging Nene (Hololive) to a game of snake and ladders in hopes she'll lose and be forced to do whatever you say. Little does she know you want her as your personal maid and while sex IS on your mind, you don't plan on doing it just yet.

[Anonymous No.]

Wow, someone really did the Korone in a dragon’s belly story…..well I’ll be damned.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56604016
It's a Kazama family tradition stretching back thousands of years.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56604115
Damn straight, man. It's beautiful.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56603509
But if possible, would she be willing to impregnate herself?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56602729
>still using wires when there are wireless vibes
The future is NOW, old man.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56606656
>Wireless vibrators are easy mode
Change my mind.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56607085
No, I won't because it's true; the use of wireless vibes IS easy mode. Safe, effective, discreet. No need for messy wires... Unless you want those wires to expose your precious chuuba (which is fun too)

[Anonymous No.]

>>56603793
>before she breaks and begs for you to take her in?
Is this suppose to be a bad thing when she begs you to take her in or is there some hidden meaning I'm not getting? Really curious because I've always wanted a mindbroken friend to make me take her in but I'm also worried incase she forces me to have sex with her (even if I'm not in the mood and are still recovering).

[Anonymous No.]

>>56608173
No it would just be standard erogame style getting overcome by lust and becoming helpless against you as she surrenders to you and *insert the rest of the plot here (I don't know maybe she betrays her kemonomimi friends to you or something)*

[Anonymous No.]

>>56607325
>Unless you want those wires to expose your precious chuuba
Which, to me, is the best use-case for those kinds of vibrators.
To be used in public, being forcibly stimulated when numerous unsuspecting individuals are present and could be paying attention, risking exposure, humiliation, reputational damage, and other such consequences.
The need to conceal the vibrator, the pink wire and remote underneath clothing adds to the erotic thrill, because it increases the risk of exposure.
Like, imagine if someone like Reine (who supposedly loves wearing shorts, even in public that she once got blocked from entry into a mall for wearing 'too short' shorts), was seen walking around with some kind of pink wire going from her pockets into her shorts. Then, an unsuspecting stranger sees it, takes a candid picture, then posts it on social media, where it then circulates until it reaches Reine, who immediately recognizes that the one in the picture is her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56608546
This is just making me think of this being a LGD (Lesbian gets Dicked) style blackmail smut fic where you catch Reine with the vibrator and slowly corrupt her straight/ into doing even more perverse acts of exhibitionism.
Also, why is that Kiara so bright looking?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56609734
Oh I'd love to read that. A slowburn fic about training and conditioning a lesbian princess into a perverted cock-loving fucktoy sounds really hot.
>Also, why is that Kiara so bright looking?
No idea.
I just grabbed that from the horni thread. I'd guess its just Koikatsu's inherent jank.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56610357
>the color of those rings
Hmm...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56572318
Hopefully you enjoyed it
>>56572625
It's an effective way to showcase relationship development for sure
>>56589410
Thanks for the compliment, but I mainly don't want it archived because it conflicts quite a bit with the tone of the main series, making it a bit jarring to add in.
>>56597156
Fair enough, I did say it was an oddly particular fetish

[Anonymous No.]

>>56612444
I mean you could mark it as an extra/omake/alt like how some of the other series do, it's a pretty hot scene and it would be a shame if no one else in the future finds it.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>56612588
You know, you make a fair point anon.
>>56558236
A Predator's Touch, A Hazy Yellow Line (Omake)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSl_7V8Ei1mQo3ztW9o4nvnRlmP28osIZ_xHm8-1V8kAgButcn356BzbIWxd9S5cgiTZbwr62e_PsMV/pub
Tags: Botan, femdom, NSFW, pegging

[Anonymous No.]

>>56615801
IRass...

[Anonymous No.]

Live!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56608456
Like as in she kidnaps them for you so that you can mindbreak them through sex?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558236
>>56558304
Just Another Lovesick Afternoon

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS8RwDm9hbl4QCzy08W9ZffS16RD9UODYgIs2wxQaAF3NelAgTw8_qChKuWywk3oldO4T2gEZhQ39SM/pub

Tags: SFW, Ina, Fluff

I was listening to music while writing my previous work and one song in particular came up and this is how I got this idea for my contest prompt.

Here's the song in question, excerpts of which also appear in the fic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAmdSjN4gus

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558236
>>56558304
Just Another Lovesick Afternoon

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS8RwDm9hbl4QCzy08W9ZffS16RD9UODYgIs2wxQaAF3NelAgTw8_qChKuWywk3oldO4T2gEZhQ39SM/pub

Tags: SFW, Ina, Fluff

I was listening to music while writing my previous work and one song in particular came up and this is how I got this idea for my contest prompt.

Here's the song in question, excerpts of which also appear in the fic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAmdSjN4gus

(reposted it because I forgot an image)

[Anonymous No.]

>>56621448
Cute...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56622446
Glad you liked it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56612444
Yeah I was also gonna recommend you do this >>56612588 , glad you've saved it. It works well in isolation even, definitely something to be proud of

[Anonymous No.]

>>56621448
Very cute, just one thing
>you’ve known each other for two years now
>the 3 years you’ve been living together

[Anonymous No.]

>>56624939
Shit, sorry, fixed it now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56625444
It's not a deep comment on how it takes some time living with each other before you get to truly know the other person?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56625599
Kek, no sorry, that was just an oversight (and you're probably joking when you ask that anyway).

[Anonymous No.]

>>56625681
Yeah, it wouldn't really fit the theme of the story and would need some references to make it more explicit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56625806
Exactly. Anyway, glad you liked it.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

I've been addicted to AA2 for the past two days or so, so I've got to ask.
Which chuuba fits what personality from the game?

>Okayu - Lazy
>Towa - Lively
>Fubuki - Playful
>Mio - Genuine

[Anonymous No.]

>>56628097
Here I thought you were talking about Ace Attorney 2 for a second.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56628334
That sounds like a fun concept too, an ace attorney based fic in which you try to solve who did X to get a chuuba graduated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56628581
It would have to be a pretty specific case though, given how many-faceted these reasons usually are. Hard to pinpoint a single "murderer".

[Anonymous No.]

>>56628665
Then make it something more broad about who let a rrat out of its cage.

>So, Miss Takanashi, you say you were at Calliope's house the week of the incident, right?
>I think I said that already, haha.
>Then, would you happen to know what this is?
>Why yes, it's a microphone! Many streamers use these things, Mr. Lawyer
>This... Is the microphone found is Miss Calliope's bathroom!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56628334
I played Danganronpa for the first time a little while ago, so a chuuba murder mystery fic would be great to read right about now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56493840
Finally some good fucking food. I think I saw you post snippets and ask for feedback ITT before and I have to say, I was looking forward to the fic ever since.
You hit the emotional tone very well and the extreme affection between the two parties seems believable and heartfelt.
However, your setup is a bit wonky, what with the last names and everything. A more "realistic" approach would have been:
>switch dad with mom, meaning you leave the country with your mom
>take US citizenship ASAP for whatever reason
>this is the last entry in Jap registers
>get adopted by your new step-dad and take his last name
>you are now free to commit unregistered incest in the land of the rising sun on a tourist visa
would've maybe made A-Chan's investigation a bit more dramatic and extensive as well.
Speaking of, I don't find A-Chan to be unreasonable or a weak point as others pointed out. She's a good set-up for the fated meeting and jealousy is always a good motivator. Of course everything could've been a bit more fleshed out, but I get that that would drag the whole story out and take the focus off that sweet, sweet incestuous romance.
Another gripe I had was with the smut, especially the introduction. You did so well with portraying the desperation to be apart and elation upon meeting again that the "she's dry-humping me in the middle of the night like a dumb animal and it leads to sex" felt like it was cutting corners.
The smut itself was decent in a "I felt something in my pants but couldn't bother touching" kind of way.
In conclusion I still give it a "very good" and make it my personal favorite so far in the contest's NSFW category. Thanks a bunch, anon!
Also, Susei is LITERALLY built for sinful, loving incestuous relations with her brother, good god!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56621448
Short and sweet. It’s rough around the edges but still cute.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56628665
I wonder what kind of faces the chuubas would make when they're faced with hard-hitting evidence and start breaking down...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66WWT9oEziY

[Anonymous No.]

>>56631440
Thank you for the honest feedback, Anon. Glad you found it very good despite everything else; I appreciate that.
What I'll say first is that 'serious' smut isn't really my strong point lol; I'll do better next time, though it's great that it still came out as decent overall.
As for the setup you suggested... that's pretty good. I'll keep it in mind. When it comes to A-Chan, at least you found her portrayal nice. Though I'll admit I could've done better with her, just like with this fic overall. Not that I hate how it turned out; I still think it's good. In fact, without it, I wouldn't have realized what I can do to ultimately give this story more justice. I wouldn't have realized that the ending I originally planned didn't have to be as sad as I first thought it would be.
So yeah, Anon, thanks again for taking the time to read my fic. Please also look forward to its next iteration in the near future.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56637882
>next iteration in the near future.
Sequel or are you actually "rebooting" this to be a series?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56628581
>>56628665
>>56628853
Ill never write it but i can let my notes out
>"The case of the disappearing hags"
>Anon Watson, full time investigator part time alcoholic part time troll in arabian carpet cleaning forums
>Gets contacted by his cousin, Amelia. to help in a case in japan. She's too busy having explosive diarrhea in a gass station toilet in nevada (the toast sandwich with gluten sauce apparently made her allergy "act a bit")
>He arrives to the crime scene, meeting Jp police: Agent Subaru and deputies Anya and Hakos Baelz
>A house with cats, occult stuff, power stones and sanrio merch, filled with the smell of diying eggs
>a hag den.
>Yet the hag, Ookami Mio, is nowhere to be seen
>Instead, there's an emotionally complex, trend loving and boba drinking Ookami Mio, whose ovaries are producing enough eggs to supply a malasyan street food business
>By the gods, she's been transformed into a zoomer!
>"Like, i dunno man. things were low key chill, then someone pulled a thigmabob and totes aimed for my chest. Shit was scary, no cap"
>thanks to deputy baelz, you manage to decipher the zoomerspeak.
>Someone has turned this hag into a zoomer... and its up to you to catch the culprit

My original idea was a wacky comedy, played straight like sherlock holmes story. At the end, after koyori, botan (which includes a scene where you visit lamy. who shows up in a bathrobe and wearing rollers) Lui and then Suisei and Ayame getting turned into Lolis, you do a dramatic reveal ("Ladies and Towa") where the culprit was none other than Hoshimachi Suisei, with the help of Kazama Iroha.
You decipher this after Koyori gets hit and turned into a gal zoomer from the shadows as she was explaining this was her tech, leading you to the conclusion that Iroha, had to rush her plan and also turn Ayame into a loli because she wanted to throw the investigation off
Iroha did this by Suisei orders, who wanted to turn into comet chan to grow her falsetto abilities and also saw the posibilities of having never ending zoomer energy and the powers of a hag. Iroha has an AA-style breakdown where she goes UOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH COMET CHAN CUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, which was how Suisei got her to do her dirty job.
The ending ties to a recurring joke, where as you start your dramatic reveal with "i know who the culprit is" matsuri yells "LETS RAPE THEM!" and when everyone looks at her she goes "IN THE NAME OF THE LAW" which has Miko join in.
When you reveal its suisei, in loli form they scream "LETS RAPE HER!" and towa joins.
The ending is you going "Take her away girls" as Miko, Matsuri and Towa join Ooozora police to try and rape Suisei in the cells

[Anonymous No.]

>>56638312
Two things. First thing, a rewrite of the fic itself into its original form, "Stellar, Stellar," which will spin into its own one-shot 'verse. Think of it as the Director's Cut™ Remastered™ Blu-Ray Edition™.
The second thing, I don't want to be too specific about it, but it's related to Egregiously Forbidden Relationship (the version of the fic I submitted to the Writing Rumble). I still really want to make a series of sex comedy shorts, especially if I'm going to finish editing Operation Nimrod and write its sequels.
Of course, this means editing Operation Nimrod itself will... be... delayed for bit. The status is still 'Coming Soon™' but I've already edited two chapters out of six. Biggest issue I'm having so far is getting the characterization right and rewriting the story accordingly. Hopefully more reps will fix that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56639708
>rewrite of the fic itself into its original form
Nice, as much as I liked the sweet form that it has right now, a more dramatic version sounds amazing.
Also good to know you're still going to make those sex comedy shorts for the more comedic side.
As for Operation Nimrod , God bless your autism that fic is looking like it's going to be the best absurd premise taken seriously fic since that Uruka FMG fic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56640857
Good thing you like the sound of it then, Anon. I'll do my best to meet your expectations.
There won't be any stuff for a while as I do the writing, but here's an autistic and badly-edited video I made as more background stuff for Holoslavia. https://youtu.be/cL_O7-P6MIU
From my notes:
Operation “Bright Parade,” the grand 1938 Holoslav military offensive, was designed to liberate the Federal capital, Holodrava, from occupying Niji forces. It is the second largest battle of the Second Homeland War, with the Holoslav Peoples’ Army committing more than 400,000 troops including elite regiments of the Garda Nousagi, as well as the 42nd Capital Guards Division. During the battle, the HNA suffered an approximate 187,000 casualties as well as the destruction of the 4th and 5th ‘Dare to Die’ Corps, making it the bloodiest fight on Holoslav soil.
But this offensive pushed Ichikara’s forces to Southern Atlantia, making it a huge morale victory for the HNA, and opening the door for the HNA's Atlan Mountain Campaign...
- Novella, S. (2000). A Death Beyond Death: A History of the Holoslav Wars (1st ed., Vol. 1). Advent Press.

[Anonymous No.]

Up you go!

[Anonymous No.]

>fall asleep hugging my new holo daki
>have a dream about showering together with A-chan
>wake up and bang out a few hundred more words so far
This is going to be a good day

[Anonymous No.]

Hey you anon, repost your weird and wacky prompts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56649447
*Eats the gun*
*Rapes Lamy*

[Anonymous No.]

>>56493840
My review for this fic is too long, so have a rentry link with it.

https://rentry.org/i4yr6h

[Anonymous No.]

>>56649758
>I was lost and found all at once
The anon writing lost and found better keep this line in his back pocket.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56649447
Uhhh, I forgot what exactly I typed out in regards to the uber-menhera, fame hungry Suisei one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56650260
im neither deniying not confirming its existence

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558236
Woke up horny for Choco and had to write this.
Not sure what to put for tags besides Choc, NSFW maybe Short

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SAi8sSMob1W7dtcCO4mGdNWEruIrQ_3CAMpu2H1yCXw/edit?usp=drivesdk

[Anonymous No.]

>>56651015
Anon, your sharing reps

[Anonymous No.]

>>56651203
Oh did I doing something wrong with it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56651558
The document's not published, Anon. You're sharing it for us to edit it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56650691
Isn't that just the alt suisei outline and greentext from the archive
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQUJON6EBJl_bWYeQEIhqiJilokvY4fSw4kiFcGM0sSKKgXAc1LbqBbiqiugW7JGEFuHjjyp67zHqeU/pub
and this one that never got archived.
>>56558236
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQgAUyPexv0xZ1WzhyGmY2C3sJhSxVrkzko5zsM0h03r9U3ZGDaTVjYgDY5_rTaJ8c51y1aADLk7mnh/pub

[Anonymous No.]

>>56651558
Not him but
File>Share>Publish to Web>Link Tab>Publish Button>Post the link that comes out

[Anonymous No.]

>>56649758
Not that Author, but holy moly this is the dream to get a rentry link of feedback. All reviewers alike are doing the good work and giving insightful stuff like this out there to help us all get better. I'm gonna keep getting better and get that dream rentry length (You) one day.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56651687
I recognize the stuff in the first link but not the second one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56652258
Yeah I compiled the greentexts for the second document but the guy doing the story recaps at the time kind of forgot to include it in the story recap so AA probably didn't see it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56651698
Do you need a computer for it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56652764
Just checked on mobile and, yeah, you won't be able to do it through the Google Docs app. You'll have to get on a computer and open Google Docs in a desktop browser

[Anonymous No.]

>>56650878
Don't you fucking dare.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558516
https://files.catbox.moe/ahs7co.jpg
Anything with picrelated which is somehow too heavy to upload

[Thread No.]

how are your submissions coming anons? You confident in your work?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56654213
I made the terrible, gargantuan, inconceivable mistake of downloading baldurs gate3

if i manage to get SOME work done, its a miracle

[Anonymous No.]

>>56654213
I WILL start it tomorrow, it WILL be 10k words long, and it WILL be pure kino

[Thread No.]

>>56654888
god speed you brave bastard

[Anonymous No.]

>>56654213

I'm in the exact same boat as >>56654310, so the night of the 24th is gonna be some crunch that'll put Naughty Dog to shame

Shadowheart my beloved...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56653015
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.]

>>56653854
Is this request for yuri or futa?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56655219
Whatever works.
But ngl, i would love a "spaghetti is straight until it's wet" kind of story.
Something like "Bae thinks its yuribaiting until shes getting her soul sucked through her mouth

[Anonymous No.]

>>56649758
Anon, thanks for the feedback. In return, it's only right to put my response to it in a rentry link as well: https://rentry.org/ceszg

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558236
I think I got it this time

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSPehxvE3HwVuaobHKRT30NhwMd0Jk3jYjjODoTDxaM4rbpcwdtj-YRPR8qFfibuQ1tOSTgvYouYS0Y/pub

Tags: Choco, NSFW, Short

[Anonymous No.]

>>56656321
>until shes getting her soul sucked through her mouth
Okay, I know you meant by this but this just making me think she's literally getting her soul sucked out of her as punishment for yuribaiting. Now the 'real' bae has to watch in despair as a new soul enters her old body to have lesbian sex with IRyS.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56657066
>Penis inspection day with Choco
Oh boy, here we go...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56657066
That was pretty hot for a fic as short as this.
My only real grip is
>Sensei Choco
It feels weird, like a weird in-between of going weaboo about referring to her as Choco-sensei and taking the more 'localized' option of calling her Miss Choco or Miss Yuzuki.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56657603 (me)
I like it. Why do I like it? Because the thought of a sexy nurse like Choco draining my balls while complimenting me is such a turn-on.
The prose is good in my book. I'm a simple man, and as long as there's enough words there to paint the scene in the theater of the mind, then I'm happy. I could feel Choco's hands through the text.
My critique (though this is more of a nitpick, really), is 'Sensei Choco'. It's still correct, maybe, though it still sounded a bit weird. What the other Anon said about calling her Miss Choco/Miss Yuzuki would've been good. Another nitpick is
>stood up in a graceful manor
Maybe that's because of auto-correct or something, so just make sure to watch out for things like this before publishing.
Other than that, it's hot, man. It's hot. I hope you'll write a few more of these where Anon gets progressively 'inspected' in a "I need to measure how much semen you can produce... Why, yes, you'll have to shoot it inside me," sort of way. That would be beautiful.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56658923
>>56659172
Thanks for the feedback and the read. It was originally gonna be Ayame and it would have been longer but I couldn't resist Choco's allure, plus I'm not usually into long smut fics. And yeah I wasn't too sure about putting sensei first I just felt Choco-sensei felt too familiar if that makes sense, but Miss Yuzuki sounds good too. Anyway, I'm working on another fic today involving Pekora but it's not lewd, exactly.

[Anonymous No.]

Up, up, and away!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56659789
>Ayame
How? Was she like the class rep doing penis inspections for the school?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56662808
Nah she was gonna be a nurse in a hospital and she gets close to (you) the patient and begins flirting and gets touchy and stuff.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56662958
Now you made me want the same concept except with Yandere nurse Kanata.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56663016
Sure sounds good, huh?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56654213
Almost done, I just need to get off my ass and finish it. As for confidence? Well, I've been playing it a bit fast and loose so we shall see.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56621448
Well this was a cute one. Don't really have much more to say other than you probably could have integrated the song in-story as a hyperlink to the yt video.
Also for some reason that ending conversation is making me imagine an alternate fic entirely where you still have that talk with Ina about how you feel except those feelings aren't for her and when you get her encouragement you just leave and she's just stunned because she thought you were referring to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56558516
Polka keeps finding excuses to take your picture

[Anonymous No.]

>>56664660
>That's a nice picture you've taken Dr. Anon but unfortunately I have to take it.
How Dastardly!
Can Dr. Anon stop the Mysterious Picture Thief Omarun before it's too late?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56664660
What kind of pictures is she taking, Anon?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56654213
I made the mistake of starting it 5 days before the end, but I'm sure I can get it done. I hope

[Thread No.]

>>56665809
NTA but perhaps pics are seemingly innocent, like you notice she's taking pics of you while eating, or while you drive to work.

but what you don't know is she will sneak pics of you while you shower or perhaps while you're playing games in your room...or are jerking off with headphones on and don't notice her crack the door open to take a pic of your dick

[Anonymous No.]

>>56666715
I thought you were going to say that she's actually a glowie sent in to track your movements, but slowly falls in love with you with each picture she takes
But innocent-looking menhera stalker is also hot. Imagine, being brought to her room when you're about to have a one-night stand, when you start noticing all the pictures on the walls of her room... are actually pictures of (You).

[Thread No.]

>>56667524
i had the funny mental image of being led to her room and she lets you relax some while she takes a quick shower to freshen up. You plop down on her bed and glance around and everything seems normal...then you glance at the ceiling and it's completely covered in pics of you

[Anonymous No.]

I'd implant Fubuki's vagina with a tadpole, if you know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56667729
>Fubuki cheating on The Fly with a Frog
Hasn't he suffered enough?

[Anonymous No.]

>HJ Anon fucks THIS
EXPLAIN?
https://files.catbox.moe/rh5nu7.mp4

[Anonymous No.]

>>56667988
Hags love ageplay where they can pretend to be young again.

[Anonymous No.]

Was perusing the catalog, saw this thread and remembered I made a short story awhile back to bump my native thread. Feel free to check it out.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/14rXnuRJzplkX8ceLElQtQ1nIVmkfgiPN10vm4eFqsos/edit?usp=sharing

Tags: SFW, FlaVR, Alunette, Romance

[Anonymous No.]

>>56668440
Hi Anon, since it may be your first time posting here in /wg/, stories here are put up through either Google Publishing or Rentry
For Google publishing:
Google Docs>File>Share>Publish to Web>Link Tab>Publish Button>Post the link that comes out

[Anonymous No.]

>>56668624
o ogey. I used a throwaway anyways just for this exact scenario.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQYHJ8vlicTWFEKqMdqoLce3BS1zSTs-nQ3mFdLZeyzigEQx_aTjg3ptH4J45XeX2Z03vTwcz0Ft6MB/pub

[Anonymous No.]

>>56668122
I guess they like ageplay where they can pretend to be 17 again

[Anonymous No.]

>>56668818
I'm unfamiliar with the chuuba in question, so I'll base my feedback on the story. Good things first: I like your prose and the attention to detail. There's a rhythm to how the text reads, and your use of location names adds concreteness (at the very least we know the exact places the story is happening). I also like that you finished it with a little ending theme. The song sounded nice too.
As for improvements, your prose could do with more descriptions. For example:
>After she opened up, she showed me the most fantastic paintings. They were so small, but packed full of detail.
There's the writing adage "Show, don't tell." That's not a solid rule by any means, but the reader will benefit a lot if the prose provokes an image in their mind that shows just how fantastic the paintings are. What kind of paintings are they? Portraits? Landscapes? Are they packed full of detail because you could see the little flowers painted into the grass, or the curves of someone's face? Things like that.
As for pacing, I know it's a short fic though it still feels somewhat rushed. Maybe an add a scene or two between the protag and the chuuba, just so the reader would be drawn in and feel why the protag misses seeing this person.
Finally, the characterization. /wg/ welcomes fics of chuubas from all agencies, though there's a preponderance of fics about Hololive chuubas, so most Anons here may not be familiar with Alunette. At the very least, use your prose to show the reader what kind of a person Alunette is, why she's nice/sweet/French, so they would care about the protag missing her. Even FlaVR readers will probably appreciate it in a "She feels just like Alunette" sort of way. Show us how she looks like, what her mannerisms are, how she speaks. That helps a lot.
tl;dr, the prose is good and could be better, the story's basic premise is nice, and pacing needs work. I'll leave feedback about punctuations and such to the other Anons; those can be improved over time too. If you intend to go into this further, keep at it. Help yourself to our archive as well, of course.
Found out just after writing this feedback that she graduated. Damn. My condolences, Anon. Now I get why this fic exists.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56668122
Hag ageplay is actually really hot to me. There's just something so hot about an older woman dressing up in middle or high school aged attire then allowing you fuck her brains out

[Anonymous No.]

>>56669418
Thanks for the feedback. If I get the inkling to write again this piece can serve as good spring board for any sequels that flesh out the character dynamics between Alunette and Anon, and I can work on prose then.
>Spoiler
Don't worry, there never was an Alunette yet and the waiting for her return is a recurring meme, which spawned the story idea.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56669977
>there never was an Alunette
What the fuck? Then what was that Twitter account I found...?
Well, anyway, you're welcome. I'd recommend including actual FlaVR chuubas then if you'll ever revisit this piece, if only to satisfy the sort of unspoken rule about fictional chuubas Though if the chuuba in question is a meme, I actually don't know if that "rule" applies. Maybe someone else can shed light on that...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56657066
It was good, but it makes me want to write a fic where Choco is trying to do her job like a professional but you get a boner and accidentally cum on her while she's just trying to take your measurements.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56669977
I'm pretty sure we don't take in fics about purely fictional vtubers, pre-debuts are okay/grandfathered in by way of dustbunny.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56667988
Watame likes to get a little silly sometimes. It's part of what makes her a funny, loving, and sexy sheep.
Damn I need another segment of sheep smut asap.
>>56654213
Started my submission yesterday and it's rolling along. Intro took some time, but I'm finally past the hardest part and should able to cruise from here. I'm confident in the idea, but I'll see how it reads in execution.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56670269
>>56670931
NTA, but I don't mind fictional vtubers as long as they aren't OCs made up for the fic, but originate from other places and are decently popular already.
What should be prevented, in my view, is people making up whatever OCs they want and making them vtubers just to post stories with them here, because that opens the floodgates on writing whatever character you want.
But if they're already established vtuber characters it doesn't really matter if they're real or fictional vtubers - writing about some graduated Twitch chuuba whose streams are no longer archived is allowed too, even if noone in this thread has ever watched their streams.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56671544
>What should be prevented, in my view, is people making up whatever OCs they want and making them vtubers
I agree. It might as well not be a chuuba fanfic then, but an original work (for which there are other places to post it, like /lit/)

[Anonymous No.]

>>56671791
Yeah. The creators of a vtuber character can't write about them, otherwise it's not FANfiction. But if a vtuber has dozens of fans, it doesn't really matter in what capacity that vtuber exists or existed - the fans can write about them.

[Anonymous No.]

Suisex..

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672022
Couldn't have put it better myself.
Just out of curiosity, where does this put Kuzu Lilliane then, in your opinion?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672358
>that tummy
Holy jumping Jesus that model should be illegal...

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672389
NTA but Kuzu Lilianne is basically in the same boat as Miyuki is of being an OC/fan character due to being based on another holomem (in this case probably being IRyS sister she consumed in the womb before debut screaming out her existence).

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672389
Her creator(s) shouldn't write about her, but it's quite clear she garnered some fans so they can write about her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672624
I see. Too bad then; I kinda liked the concept. But oh well. Thanks, Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672796
I mean we'd still take fanfics about her in the same way we accepted the Fox Family fansequels. She may be a fan character but any fic about her being the 'forgotten genmate of project : HOPE" kind of needs to have other hololive characters in it since otherwise you might as well sand off the hololive connection and just make it a normal horror story.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672624
>>56672948
Miyuki is different because she isn't characterized as a vtuber, at least if I remember correctly.
An already-established character who (1) is a vtuber and (2) has fans should be fair game, whether they ever streamed or not.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672795
>>56672948
Ah, there we go. So it's cool to have her as a supporting character but not the heroine of her own fic, gotcha. Thanks, Anons.
I think I already have an idea of what to do with her. But it's just an idea. For now, at least.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56673172
I posted >>56672795 and think you can totally have her as the heroine of your own fic, for the record. There's no consensus on this, it seems.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56673172
Nah it's fine to have her as the heroine in her own fic, the central 'case' for this is fox family and its (fan)sequels. Since again, either way you're going to have to use holomems as characters so it's fine even if she was a pure OC like Miyuki.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56673389 (me)
And a fic that features Kuzu Lilianne as the only character in it would be fine, too - as long as it is written by a fan and is drawing upon her already-existing characterization of whom the author is a fan.

[Anonymous No.]

Hey I just noticed something while looking up whether Miyuki was ever mentioned as being a vtuber in her original fic.
The archive marks Fox Family Christmas as a 'true' sequel to Fox Family Bonding but looking it up on ao3 they're actually made by two separate authors with FFC actually being a continuation of the fan sequel Fucking Miyuki in the ass
Here's the ao3 links to prove it:
Fox Family
>https://archiveofourown.org/works/39132534
Fox Family Christmas
>https://archiveofourown.org/works/44870980/

[Anonymous No.]

>>56673389
>>56673398
Yeah, it seems the lines are still blurry in regard to why exactly fictional chuubas are okay, but at least now I know she's fair game. I don't want to be too specific about the idea since it'll kinda ruin it, but it'll have other Holomems in there anyway. Again, thank you for the answers, Anons.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56674205
I think fictional vtubers (that are already-established characters and not made up by the author - otherwise they would be OCs and open the floodgates for an infinite amount of made-up chuubas) are okay because they're still vtubers. If someone said "James Bond is a secret agent" you wouldn't object to that on the grounds that he's not a real person.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56674751
>If someone said "James Bond is a secret agent" you wouldn't object to that on the grounds that he's not a real person.
Yeah, I get what you're saying; I totally wouldn't.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672358
I'm gonna give a whole new meaning to "fuck your enemies".

[Anonymous No.]

>>56675519
New series with Suisei as an antagonist?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56675519
In what way will the meaning be new?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56672358
Don't let this distract from the fact that she cheated at the summer bingo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56676677
You'll just have to stick around and find out.
>>56676585
>new
nah.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56677003
Yeah, cheated with me

[Anonymous No.]

>>56638347
>"Ladies and Towa"
Kek, this would make a good comedy. I'm not sure about the ending you've outlined but the overall premise sounds funny as fuck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56654213
I made the grave mistake of starting a new anime, which has shredded what little time I have. I'll try focusing on it tomorrow, and I might have to sacrifice a couple hours of sleep on the last night since that's when I'll have the most free time. Never in my life had I imagined I would do that for anything besides school work, let alone for vtuber fanfiction.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56678992
...what anime out of curiosity?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56677099
Is this gonna be another HJ thing?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56677099
>Suisei in HF
IKZZZZZZZ

[Anonymous No.]

>>56681181
Probably, she had a brief appearance end of chapter 19 or 20 If I'm remembering correctly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56681181
The First Law of /wg/: Every character scenario that is discussed will eventually end up in HoloJourneys.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56681673
thank you for informing us, Shiori

[Anonymous No.]

>>56655219
god i wish that were me

[Anonymous No.]

>>56681181
Of course it is.
>>56681441
I had to look back to see exactly when I started foreshadowing this. It was all the way back in chapter 17 and slowly bringing it back here and there.
>>56681673
Not my fault most of the ideas here are pretty good and I want to write them in my own way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56683522
>Not my fault most of the ideas here are pretty good and I want to write them in my own way.
Based king

[Anonymous No.]

>>56681312
How would you even put Suisei in a fantasy setting? The battlemaid outfit and the suicest prompt both kind of only work in more "modern"/japanese fantasy settings but how would she even work in a more classical fantasy setting?
I remember that holoberserk concept of her effectively becoming Blue Griffith with her idol dreamseeking being replaced with becoming a star, but that's more on the character side than actually imagining her in fantasy land.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56683797
She works very well as a noblewoman. The "Suisei wants to seduce her brother so he doesn't get corrupted by peasant Aqua's big dumpy" idea could easily be (low) fantasy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56677003
Sui-chan would never

[Anonymous No.]

>>56683797
I don't wanna give it all away just yet, but since the comet will come crashing through at some point during the next arc, you could see how she fits in. I have chills already thinking of the intro scene I got planned. It's gonna be so fucking metal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56683941
>HoloFantasy: Distant Lands
>It's just a drama written from Suisei's perspective about how bad she wants to fuck her brother and occasionally hearing about a nuke going off in Russia or something who cares

[Anonymous No.]

>>56684798
>drama written from Suisei's perspective about how bad she wants to fuck her brothe
I had a minor brain fart when reading this at first that made me think this a diary written from Suisei's perspective. Made me briefly imagine that the fic would be like an epistolary novel thing and the entire story is told from her diary and other documents.
Honestly that sounds like a fun gimmick for a fic... Even if I'm pretty sure it would be a headache to actually plot out and write since you'd effectively have to outline a series of events then retell it with the bias of someone in universe writing about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56681673
That means that at some point, all fics will be finished through HJ!
FSM CHADS WE ARE IN!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56685788
That's why it would just take place on another continent, not the one that just got nuked. If Suisei is so busy fretting over her brother and she overhears some crazy shit went down a sea away, she won't care or memorize it much if it doesn't directly affect her life or push the fat-assed peasant onto her brother's lap.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56685870
Does that mean HJ will eventually finish Fox Family bad end?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56686609
Yes, but it might not be within your lifetime.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56685870
There's gonna be some first time memories made this summer, that's for FUCKING sure.
Real talk though, FSM was one of the first few series I read upon finding the thread. It was fantastical, enthralling, and just great overall.
>>56686609
What the hell is the bad end for that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56689137
>What the hell is the bad end for that?
I think that was the 'Miyuki starts starring in JAV and has Fubuki raped' thing that some guy was writing. He dropped that though if I remember right

[Anonymous No.]

>>56689861
Yeah I ain't into rape unless it's like, mutual rape. Like, the predatory animal girl is gonna try to drain your balls, but while your mind is telling you no, your body is telling you YES, and to be the alpha. You know the saying, "you can't get raped if you're the one doing the raping." That's probably how that will go down.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56686829
>Year 2776
>Humanity has ceased to exist in any way shape or form
>One of the last remnants of earth is a computer that someone uploaded their consciousness into
>Aliens from millions of light years away study it, trying to get a glimpse of what life was on a now dead mass of rock in space
>The computer begins showings words in its screen
>HoloJourneys (There's enough me for all of you!) Chapter 678: The breeding of Koyori (Part 62 of 150)
>The mysteries about humanity remain unresolved.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56692872
>The facts about humanity that can be ascertained from the collection raise more questions than answers
>Women well into their 30s are apparently desirable and prime mates despite their biology presenting a case for the opposite
>While marriage is a known custom, select few can acquire multiple wives and somehow maintain order
>Still cannot determine the technological levels of the human race. Is magic a type of science that is harnessed for modern conveniences? Or is practical science and invention used?
>Human males also seem to enter heightened states of lust for both blood and women when engaged in intense combat...usually for said women adversaries, very confusing.
>Human DNA is apparently compatible with all races...

[Anonymous No.]

The aliens would look at vtubers and conclude that they served a ceremonial purpose.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56696663
They would not be entirely incorrect

[Anonymous No.]

>>56683797
I always figured you could do it in three ways.
1. Make her a bard
2. Make her a rival adventurer
3. Have her be a keeper/caretaker/liaison assigned to you buy a kingdom

[Anonymous No.]

>>56683797
An eccentric maiden with high social status who is famous for her singing fits pretty well into into almost any medieval-inspired world, doesn't it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56664606
>hyperlink to the yt video
Wait, you can do that ? I didn't know that.

>spoiler
That wasn't my intent at all and I would find it pretty sad, but if you want to write something like that, then go for it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56696663
>What's with all these acrylic images in this person's room?
>must be ritual objects

[Anonymous No.]

>>56701155
Yeah, if you make a hyperlink in gdocs it'll render as normal when it gets published. Take a look at the Suisei incest fic if you want to see a recent example of it being used for effect.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56703143
Huh. Never tried it out before so this is new to me.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>56691594
>Yeah I ain't into rape
Abysmal taste.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56704500
Sorry bro, but if she aint enjoying it, I'm not either.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56704500
And yet you wouldn't want to share your prison cell with other rapists.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56706496
Says who?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56706548
Oh, you're more of a rapee than a rapist. I can respect that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56706587
I'm both. You can call me onahole as I rip your pants off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56706668
Wait...isn't this going into consent territory if you want it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56706729
Shh-shh-shhh. Nobody has to know that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56691594
based consentchad

[Anonymous No.]

I'm writing a new stop for Kafka and I'm stuck between a bad but more realistic ending for this particular stop or a good but highly unrealistic and idealized ending.

Which would you prefer? And don't say it's up to me, I want your opinion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56707082
Personally, I'm a sucker for happy endings so the latter

[Anonymous No.]

>>56707082
Is the better ending so unrealistic that it's immersion breaking?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56707218
it skirts the line. It's not like "average every day normal setting and suddenly a unicorn comes in and rescues them" but it's sorta crossing into imersion breaking.

Basically the cliff notes is really bad event happens and MC is contemplating something drastic and someone comes out of seemingly nowhere to help. If it's no for the good ending, she does the drastic action.

>>56707174
I'm writing it as we speak so when it's done I'll give it a look to see if it doesn't come out too unrealistic to be worth it. But if it's not as bad as I think then I'll do the good end

[Anonymous No.]

>>56707774
In that case I'm leaning towards the good ending, because it comes down to how well you'd be able to justify introducing the other character.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56707774
Wait like an actual fantasy unicorn with magic powers?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56709065
actual fantasy, not the fandom euphemism

>>56708281
I'll go with the good ending then. Just need to edit it and refine it

[Anonymous No.]

>>56707774
>>56709065
>>56709820
And here I thought the vtuber-watching unicorns were the equines with magical powers. They definitely seem horny enough.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56709820
Okay but you're taking this opportunity to make really shoehorned in jokes about vtuber unicorns while you have the chance right?

[Anonymous No.]

What's more important to you in a smut scene, descriptions of what you can see and hear or everything else?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56711046
Having the prose itself be erotic. With it having that lustfulness in the emotion, action and description of what's going on.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56711348
That's definitely an underrated part of everything else! Noted.

[Anonymous No.]

Clear.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56711348
100% this, but this is more the amalgamate effect of all other elements in smut prose.

[Anonymous No.]

I MIGHT finish my entry for the writing rumble!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56715587
get to it anon! gogogo!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56715587
We're both gonna make it bro, I believe in you.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm NOT going to finish my entry in time for the writing rumble!


Because I'm not writing one!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56715587
How many of you are leaving your submissions for the writing rumble until the literal last minute?

[Anonymous No.]

>>56719296
Why did you ask a question you know the answer to? You know it's all of them

[Anonymous No.]

>>56719296
The current story I'm working on is gonna be very last minute.

[Anonymous No.]

It's getting around that time again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56719296
I started 5 WIPS for the Writing Rumble, and today I started and I'm close to finishing ONE!

[Anonymous No.]

>>56680275
Summertime render. It’s decent so far.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56719296
I coincidentally started something a couple days ago that's shaping up to be short enough to potentially submit on time, but I never really intended to submit anything in the first place so the sudden possibility is fucking with my internal sense of priorities a bit

[Anonymous No.]

Alright, I just need to wait for the next thread.
Who's baking?

[Anonymous No.]

Read for the contest
>Meat is Murder
Kind of meh, and a bit too reliant on dialogue. Which unfortunately is what kind of kills it for me as while this does feel like something Mumei would say, the actual dialogue doesn't feel like it's in her 'voice' as it were.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56721579
How about we wait this time and see what happens? The bot hasn't been active in awhile. Maybe we'll be able to hit bump limit.

[Anonymous No.]

hag belly and chest erotic

[Anonymous No.]

>>56719296
I didn't have any good ideas until like 3 days ago... and then I had to spend a couple days cock storming ideas... but I did write 1100 words today... surely I can finish in 2 days.

[Anonymous No.]

>>56719296
Not intentionally. My process kind of went like:
>Spend the first week trying to come up with ideas
>Start a fic for the contest and smash out 8k words in the second week
>Realize the idea has snowballed too much and there's no way I'll finish it in time
>Spend a few days coming up with another (shorter) idea
>Start writing new fic and resist the urge to add more ideas (impossible)
>Today

[Anonymous No.]

>>56719296
I only started my submission yesterday.

[Anonymous No.]

Up and running!
>>56722745

[Anonymous No.]

First Train and Kafka Stop 21: Shelter

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRbfriLQc-zaWLLx4A8x70TOqgCfcDmOCAu3Fc1HARSC69xmIRfXzxQopSAXdpruwFPV1-0CESnzqcu/pub

tags: Sora, Choco, Fubuki, Anthology series, dark, NSFW