/wg/ - Writing General - Cat & Dog Edition

[Anonymous No.]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. Check the archives below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!

Collective works so far are available in the archive:
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction, eh?
Yes.

Previous thread:>>44487431

[Anonymous No.]

Story anchor.
Post 'em if you got 'em

[Anonymous No.]

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

[Anonymous No.]

Story recap! There... were three stories posted in the last thread.

HoloJourneys: (Restoring Nature and Pomu: A Summoner's Vow) Chapter 21: A Stormy Welcome For Uninvited Guests: Tags:(Watame, Flare, Polka, Nene, Pomu, SFW, Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Fluff):>>44533086

Karaoke and Kisses Chapter 1:Tags: Reine, Kiara, Fluff, Love Confessions, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, French Toast, Self Confidence Issues:>>44544826

Karaoke and Kisses Chapter 2: Tags: Reine, Kiara, Yuri, Smut, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering:>>44544826

[Anonymous No.]

Prompt recap! Last thread had a lot of new prompts. Here they are in case you missed them:

A fic about trying to get away from this robot staring into your soul.:>>44524213

A fic where you try and figure out what (a head-over-heels in love) Suisei sees in you as she drags you around a big party and gushes over you to her friends, celebrities, and industry pros.:>>44527154

A chuuba of your choice is allergic to drinking semen but she really wants to try it and she will stop at nothing to get you to let her suck your dick until you blow your load into her mouth so that she can swallow it.:>>44535701

(You) going to hell and being corrected by hag Towa and La+:>>44564772

Nene does a whole line of coke and now she's high.:>>44575173

A fanfic expanding on this idea >>44640884 :>>44641242

Uruha Rushia stalks, memorizes and controls someone's life from the sidelines. She strips away the people in their life like branches from a tree, before finally swooping in to claim them as her own.:>>44649287

Rushia trying to restore herself in the Akashic Records:>>44651494


I hope this type of request is okay here. Not a story, but holo girls reactions to (You)r dick, being really eager for the big ones and humiliating small ones. Just like pic related.:>>44656087

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656713
The cross-thread link to the last prompt is wrong, it's >>44656112

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656582
Not a story, but holo girls reactions to (You)r dick, being really eager for the big ones and humiliating small ones. Just like pic related.
I don't expect it in form of a picture, text alone would be fine.
Any holo would be fine, but anons said a specific idea would have more chance, so:
>Fauna who's usually motherly and caring gets excited at the prospect of being ravaged by bigger cocks, is covertly disdainful of the small ones
>Ame uses the excuse of "conducting investigation" to check out your big penis; jokes about having to use her magnifying glass for small dicks
>Coco unabashedly prefers them big, wants to smother you with her dragon tits while riding you, calls small dicked men FAGGOTS
>Kronii is sneering and sadistic at the small penises, but gets shy and awkward around the big ones

[Anonymous No.]

>>44657080
Can there be one who likes small dicks? For my friend

[Anonymous No.]

>>44657178
I mean it's up to the writer.
It would make sense for the motherfly Fauna to be caring and loving towards even the small cocks, personally I went for the hateful angle because it's more exciting.

[Anonymous No.]

>Fauna will never lovingly jerk off your small cock with her thumb and index finger

[Anonymous No.]

>>44657080
>Calli is left tongue tied by the big cocks, has no reaction to the medium ones, but finds the tiny cocks absolutely adorable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44657178
Wasn't there a short fic where Nene praises small cocks?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44651849 #
I have a bunch of ideas
>San hasnt been a problem since his correction, but after a while anon pops back and everyone watches san visibly pop the hugest boner of his life as he excuses himself
>San cock-worshipping
>Anok calling him a little faggot as he fucks him, ending in anon pounding him into the earth calling him a girl
>Anon taunting san over the fact hes never gonna reproduce if he keeps spilling his seed in the floor
>Sana and San split for a threesome, either via strap on or futa magic, san gets spitroasted

Reposted because im a silly Billy

[Anonymous No.]

>>44658940
>bitch breaking san so bad he says stuff like "Do it! Make me cum like a girl!"
>San reluctantly (but secretly enjoying) wearing frilly dresses
>Making him cum so hard he turns back into Sana, then Sana turning back into San to have sex again
>San doing his best to please you so you won't leave him for foobs

[Anonymous No.]

I was thinking about this prompt (by me) and wondering if instead of a corporate conspiracy it should be a story of some kind of (in a literal sense) magical experience bringing colour back into the lives of black company era Marine and (you). Something like a mix of a Murakami novel and Haruhi with a life-affirming feel.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44659945
I mean what do you have in mind specifically?
Because right now you have a setup for 'ordinary life' and you are thinking about an 'inciting incident' for the narrative.
At this point you need to think of specific details to further plot it out, or take the plunge and start writing and see if you can come up with something good while you're on the saddle.

[Anonymous No.]

> poggers, daddy~

[Anonymous No.]

>>44662453
That sounds like it would either come from a Haachama smut fic or a semi-ironic vshojo fic

[Anonymous No.]

>>44663045
Haachama said it in one of her non archived lewd ASMR

[Anonymous No.]

>>44663231
Hot

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656677
People have been shit talking Rushia for an entire year, dumbass.

[Anonymous No.]

What ya working on writing bros? What do you want to try and write? Hitting any roadblocks you want some help with?
Bonus question: Have any of the stories posted here acted as inspiration for you? Do any continue to do so?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44662453
パパはすっごくポガーズですよ

[Anonymous No.]

> tfw google has given me a perfect word for a situation that the chuuba is in but it's too pretentious to use it without being out of place

Unless it's my ESL never having heard of a fool's paradise

[Anonymous No.]

>>44664928
Is the word a fool's paradise? If so, that's not pretentious at all.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine thinking vtuber fanfiction can be pretentious

[Anonymous No.]

>>44664928
Vtuber fanfiction is probably the best avenue to go balls deep with self-indulgence

[Anonymous No.]

>>44664928
Anon, give the context of that word. It can't be that pretentious unless you've somehow been writing 'low-brow' the entire time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44663891
After waffling around with different ideas I've commited to the idea of the Towa fic where she lives with her vtuber mama Rurudo who gets collared by her new bf. I think I will try to write it as a stream of consciousness from Towa.
Bonus: Many fics have inspired me broadly when it comes to learning how typical writing in /wg/ looks like. But more specifically I really just looked at what fics already existed to fill gaps/avoid doing something someone else had done well already.

[Anonymous No.]

>Browsing ao3
>Finds Suisei insect sex fic commissioned by an anon
Hey bugfag, did you also commision that one? I need to know for my sanity if there's only one bugfag in this fandom.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44669812
Maybe the guy commissioned a Suisei incest fic but he misspelled it

[Anonymous No.]

>>44670196
>"Hey dude I'm done with the egg laying scene, want to have a look?"
>"...I asked for Suisei to egg on her brother while he masturbates, not to lay eggs"

[Anonymous No.]

Read
>Maneater
Hot, but too short to be a good fap. Still it does have some really good choco dialogue but the fact that it pulled back at the end rather than going for the kill with the 'lovey-dovey incest' kind of killed it for me. Would probably make a good basis for a 'Choco tries to break through to get you to sell your soul' series.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44659923
>femboy garbage
delusional, just admit to panting to pound the boy

[Anonymous No.]

>>44672464
I mean, NTA, but the main appeal of that fic was in bitch breaking a cocky shota. It's not like it was hidden when it's pretty open about it in the tags.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44672727
i meant that san acting like a girl or dressing as one kills what made the original so good
in fact, san should still have some edge if a sequel were to happen, since him not wanting to have his guts re-arranged is where the good stuff is

[Anonymous No.]

>>44673133
I guess we're at an impasse about what we want out of a sequel then, as while I'm not fully into the San feminizing thing, I more want the sequel to focus on the relationship between You and San(a) developing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44672464
I am a fag and I jacked it to San getting corrected
I am also into degradation and making him feel less than a man, and what better way to do that than turning him into Sana(male)?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44671593
Yeah I was just making a goofy Christmas thing to join in on everyone and their mother posting a fic, but I had been sitting on the 'step-mom Choco turns to (You) after she realizes your dad's a loser' idea for a while, and now that you mention it I wouldn't mind making a legitimate version of it at some point.

>>44658940
>>44659923
>>44673133
>>44673411
Interesting thoughts, and the plans I did have (which I actually did mention a little here >>40061293) would be more rape correction, but with it becoming obvious San isn't entirely against it. Not sure about feminization, that wasn't exactly what I was going for, but I do get the thought process from the emasculation to that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44669812
Is it good?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44677535
I'll read it if he posts a link.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44673133
>i meant that san acting like a girl or dressing as one kills what made the original so good
The appeal is in depicting the transition in attitude moreso than the endpoint. Seeing that resistance gradually fade until the climactic moment(s) where he agrees to one further layer of humiliation is incredibly sexual, and he should continue to be teased about it even afterwards.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44675217
based author, i would love for futasana to join in the fun and destroy this little nigga but your stuff is good too.
Maybe if i had the writing chops for porn i could work in that, but oh well.
Take your time, you write good stuff

[Anonymous No.]

>>44677535
I didnt like it bug then again I'm not into that sort of thing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44680307
Aaaant there it is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44679916
>you fuck futa-Sana while she fucks San in the ass

[Anonymous No.]

>>44680577
either that or a spitroast is god tier

[Anonymous No.]

>>44680577
Now I'm thinking about a circle where everyone is fucking ass and getting their ass fucked at the same time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44681541
Like this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44681541
who would be the first to bust and who the last in
>jp
>en
>id

[Anonymous No.]

>>44669812
>>44677535
>oh this isn't so bad, they're described about as gross as a generic nasty fantasy creat-
>maggots crawl into her ovaries

[Anonymous No.]

>>44681709
Laplus first, Sora last
Kiara first, Ina last
Risu first, Kaela last

[Anonymous No.]

>>44682362
>not Miko first, Korone last
>risu getting outlasted by a kid
damn that's harsh

[Anonymous No.]

>>44669812
Nope, first time I'm hearing of it.

So, uhh... you got a link?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44683114
It's called emblems of pestilence

[Anonymous No.]

>>44682689
I feel like Risu wouldn't really care about lasting, she just wants to nut.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44682362
What makes you think Kiara would be a quick shot?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44683338
Her lust, and the fact that she can get very excited very quickly in general.
Of course a more in-depth analysis would have to actually map out the circle to see who is fucking whom, as pleasure comes from both sides.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44683396
I think someone more weak willed like Mori, IRyS, or Mumei would have the weakest cock. Though I agree Ina's would be the strongest because of her chronic masturbation issues.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44683141
Thanks a bunch! I'm still in bed right now, so I'll check it out later and give you my thoughts. I really don't like the ending artwork's style, though. Hope the story's better.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Is Holojourneys the new biggest fic

[Anonymous No.]

>>44684142
>Thanks a bunch
Immediately reminded me of this scene from Deadly Premonition
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-41YUSZ9VAg

[Anonymous No.]

>>44686600
You know I was thinking of the exact same scene when I chose to use 'a bunch'? Deadly Premonition was such a good... well, it was kind of a shit game, but the story and characters were very amusing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44686600
Love this game.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44682362
>>44683396
how the fuck does the circle even work.Like you nut and stay in? do they get out and the circle closes? do cumulative nuts thank to the stimulation count? am i overthinking a silly concept way too much?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44689781
It's an ouroboros of Futa dick connecting all of them by the ass.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44669812
>>44683141
Not bad! Waaaaaaay better than I had expected. Thanks for alerting me to this, as this writer's now on my radar - it's high-quality enough that I'd commission him myself. Moreover, looking at his bio, it appears he's got a personal interest in writing about insect copulation.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about maggot-infested bug semen, but it certainly amped the grotesqueness factor up. Either the author or the commissioner have a kink for the juxtaposition between idol image and woman fucking bugs, as there's numerous mentions of stuff like her manicured nails or perfect idol features getting soiled by her breeding partners.
Overall, a solid 7/10 for me. Could definitely do with some personalization to match ST's 9.5/10.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44693616
I feel like I have done a great evil by talking about this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44693616
Now I'm interested in how'd you rank it with the things this thread has produced.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44693937
Don't feel that way. All you've done is help further the proliferation of hard fetish pornography - or as one commenter referred to it, "insex". Just think - years from now, after insect pornography commissions spark a revolution in the fandom's libido and insex fics start popping up like acne on a teenager's face, you can stand tall and proudly tell your friends that you helped.

>>44694548
I reeeeeaaaaaally don't like ranking stuff publicly. I think it enforces a negative attitude overall, having a simple numerical system saying "X is better than Y". I'd rather take the time to praise certain aspects and provide constructive criticism for others.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44693937
You've put me out of a job...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44693937
There's only one way to save this thread now
[spoiiler]Burn everything[/spoiler]

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697069
Given you're going to be taken for the next 18 months working on other commissions, I need someone to fill the interim.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697232
Nope, you're not getting away with it. Everybody, look how he made a typo in the first spoiler tag!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697232
why do you even actually type it out, just ctrl + s

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697576
He's probably phoneposting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697282
Speaking of, I should probably talk to NTSAnon again, given that I'm close enough to being finished. Just 2k more words or so, some editing and voilà. I do think he already had an outline though so maybe it isn't needed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697606
It's not even that hard to write even if you're phoneposting since you'd get the red line underneath if you misspell spoiler, that and it's literally just making an unclosed spoiler tag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697752
There is no red line depending on the phone you use. Mine doesn't if it doesn't register it as a word. The most common reason for fucking up the spoiler is auto capitalization after [

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697675
I honestly thought you forgot, I've only been checking the burner account once every couple weeks for awhile. Might have to give even myself a refresher at this point. VERY open to developing this further if you're game, though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697675
>Just 2k more words or so, some editing and voilà
Nice. That other fic was barely an appetizer.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697576
Wait there are keyboard shortcuts on this site? I've never even thought of using it. I manually type out my tags every time?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698147
>I manually type out my tags every time?
Oh, Anon...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44697675
NTSAnon? Are you the one writing the Chloe cucks you fic?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698007
Nah I never forgot, in fact I was thinking about ya constantly since I'm sooo behind schedule on this stuff. I've been really stepping on the gas lately so I could get to you, but even then this is still taking a fair bit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698549
You were thinking about other people whilst writing pornography for me!? I... I can't believe this. I feel so betrayed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698638
Sorry but just one isn't enough to satisfy me. I have to keep worrying about every single one of my clients at the same time for maximum stress. If I don't wake up with my eyelids twitching I know I'm doing something wrong

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698709
Best get writing, then. Don't up and disappear on me, now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698331
I thought that fic came from chloecuck taking the plunge and learning to write a fic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698912
>>44698709
>>44698638
get a fucking room you tranny faggots

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698331
I've only ever written two NTR fics and they are quite old.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698182
I used to manually type in the post numbers when I started posting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44698638
>>44698709
>Sorry but just one isn't enough to satisfy me
Unironically gave me a twinge reading this exchange. The flame of excitement has been reignited

>>44698331
Dunno who exactly you're talking about but I'm also writing a Lui cucks you fic. I just got sidelined by trying to 100% The Binding of Isaac so I've only been writing snippets on the company dime here and there for awhile

[Anonymous No.]

>>44686148
what do you mean by biggest?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44699608
Pretty sure they mean word count.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44699400
>Unironically gave me a twinge reading this exchange. The flame of excitement has been reignited
A most impressive palate you've got there. I am humbled.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44699400
Damn, I wasted a potential good one liner on a shitpost...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44663891
I want to post my exile fic but I have a feeling Zaion might come back and I’ll get blown the fuck out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44702927
She's not coming back.
t. augur

[Anonymous No.]

>>44702927
Is that the idea that graduated chuubas are in PoE or something? Even if Zaion comes back, it's fanfiction. If you had fun and want to sure it, go for it!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44702927
The skeins of fate say it's unlikely.
Besides unless the fic is literally built around the idea it's not going to collapse the entire premise ... I mean unless the fic is literally built around Zaion being exiled/graduated?

[Anonymous No.]

Finally done...
Holy crackers, it was a ride making this one.
https://dullachan.itch.io/ninisanni-scenario
Ninisanni Scenario
High school dating sim. 10 routes. Lazulight, Obsydia, Ethyria. Romance-comedy. 20 sex scenes,
Give it a try.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
I have to ask, what's the actual full word count for this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
Bro wtf

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
jesus christ

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656713
Finished this, just doing proofreading.
>Nene does a whole line of coke and now she's high

Also needs a title:

https://strawpoll.com/polls/B2ZBE9qrQgJ

[Anonymous No.]

>>44706085
Tough to say, since the code interferes with a conventional word counter.
I just copypasted my first draft and it clocks to 91,000 words, though it may be less cause the wordcounter probably counts dialogue indicators (to tell who's speaking).

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
Sweet. Time to fuck Finana.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44708746
Genuinely impressive. How miserable was it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
>Anon makes an entire fucking VN
Holy based, I'll report back whenever I finish it

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
holy shit, im performing a naked dogeza, what a madman
i know the bare minimum about niji but i will play your game you deranged lunatic

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
My knees fell to the ground on their own... I'll play this tomorrow. Anon, you are a madman in the best possible way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44710493
Well, it's fun all the way through, but in different ways.
Writing was the most intellectually demanding, and allowed for the least amount of distractions (watching TV on the side or listening to podcasts)
Tweaking image assets was time consuming. Probably the most challenging, since visual art is not my forte
Scripting (coding without playtesting positions of sprites, sounds etc,) was time consuming
Staging (positioning assets, making sure everything runs fine) was also insanely time consuming for no reason at all.
By the time I got to playtesting, I was just committed to the suffering.

To answer your question it was crazy time consuming, but ultimately fun all the way through.
>>44710386
>fuck finana
Finana was my favorite route to write
>>44710791
The game is made so that even somebody who has never heard of a vtuber can enjoy. Sheer high school dating sim, emphasizing the best characteristics of the NijiGirls. Have fun!
>>44710546
Good luck and have fun! It's over when you've gotten all the accolades. You can do that much, can't you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44711508
Have fun! It'll be kino, trust me!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44712250
Have you written anything else?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44696452
aite the term insex gave me a chuckle I will give it a pass for today

[Anonymous No.]

>>44712523
I've been writing for a while. Off the top of my head, 3 novellas, one full length mystery novel (700 pages),
Two other VNs of shorter length, but I don't feel comfortable posting them because the art is absolute kusoge.
The nice part about writing is you get better all the time. And the process becomes easier. Most of the stress of this project came from the VN side

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>44696452
>I reeeeeaaaaaally don't like ranking stuff publicly
>Overall, a solid 7/10 for me. Could definitely do with some personalization to match ST's 9.5/10
You just did.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44713131
I more meant for the general, but shit, man, that's great. Glad to have you; thanks for this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
The choreography is very nice, but it's a little dark and the text is slightly difficult to read until you get used to it. Those are just minor gripes for now though, I have no complaints as to the writing quality so far at the end of Day 1.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
pommers marriage
pommers impregnation
simple as

[Anonymous No.]

>>44704081
It literally is, you could title it 'surviving exile with Zaion' and it wouldn't be too far off

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
You should post this in /nenfem/ and the splits. Not the m*in thread though, they don't deserve it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
>>44656557

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656557
>Suddenly Okayu cries in Korone's arms as she comforts her
>the clock ticks down as they hold hands and watch the sun set
>Fubuki and Mio find them peacefully sitting on the bench and the two begin to cry

[Anonymous No.]

>>44714030
Nah, I've worked on this in secret, for better or worse.
>>44715031
pomu...
>>44715253
I might shill it if you guys have a positive opinion of it. I've spent so much time working on it I don't even know if it's good or bad, if it goes too far or not far enough.
And yeah, the m*in thread is worse than the catalogue, and that's saying something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44715394
Why are you linking a VN to the story archive?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44713945
Yeah, true. It's off-thread and the author doesn't participate here, though, so it's whatever. She'll be right.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44715092
Well that's awkward.
...
I say go through with it.
Worse case you're making the fic 'in advance' of her next retirement-scale yab.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44715651
Well the way I see it, you have maybe 1 or 2 promotion posts worth of buffer before people start calling you a shill, so you gotta pick your audience right. I think it's worth advertising, nijibros could use a win I imagine

[Anonymous No.]

>>44716022
Is a VN not a story?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44716850
Why would you reply to a post like that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44716906
I don't know. Sometimes I just do things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656557
>>44656713
>Nene does a whole line of coke and now she's high


https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSK5BPPnWN0JfXq34r2TriiGqKqhBJ049nRzItXEnBjzNvJKBKa7CpOM0k6pXs9qJgj_mbzdQR_maLQ/pub

Tags: Momosuzu Nene, drugged, reverse rape turning into wholesome vanilla loving

[Anonymous No.]

>>44717616
This feels almost like a fever dream at times. Your writing is seriously at odds with the prompt you've chosen; it feels shoehorned in to an otherwise fairly stock standard first time between lovers scenario. If you cut every mention of cocaine out of this, it'd still make sense - probably much more so.

Still, I came. The blowjob was good. The pacing was on-point, although there could have been a lot more description and emotion put into it; the actual sex was tacked-on and could have benefitted from two to three additional paragraphs describing what's going on, what they're feeling, the pace, the heat, sensations et cetera.

The ending actually made things more confusing.
This kind of sounds mostly negative; if nothing else, take away the fact that not only did it keep me interested enough to read to the end but it also made me cum... although to be fair, Nene being the subject is a pretty strong buff.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44717616
There's gonna be a sequel...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44718407
>Your writing is seriously at odds with the prompt you've chosen; it feels shoehorned in to an otherwise fairly stock standard first time between lovers scenario. If you cut every mention of cocaine out of this, it'd still make sense - probably much more so.
You have a point with this, so I decided to change up the first round a bit so that Nene is in a high during it

[Anonymous No.]

>>44700090
At this point it's more like the word czar.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44689781
You can't really make a non-giant circle much smaller without the angles getting awkward. The simple solution would be viagra or something of the sort that keeps everyone hard for long enough that everyone can nut at least once.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44720538
I'm playing Sons of the Forest with a mate right now, but I just wanted you to know I've seen your post and will read the story again later.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44722201
Sons of the Forest is a really poor game right now. Feels like an alpha; a giant buggy mess overall with an extremely pretty overworld filled with nothing much to see at all.
Kelvin's funny, though.

>>44720538
So anyway, not much has changed. The blowjob is paced even better now and Nene's high personality is a lot more consistent (until being called Nee-san completely cures her, of course) but otherwise the changes are superficial; I still think the cocaine plot subtracts more than it adds to the story, and the penetrative sex could still do with sweeping changes.
Two internal notes I made: first, I was really hoping you'd lose yourself in the blowjob and impregnate Nene's throat, and her snapping out of it halfway through was such a cocktease.
Two, this paragraph:
You moaned as her soft hand wrapped around your shaft. That was when she leaned back, allowing you to see her beautiful breasts. They were large, with little pink nipples. And that was when she started to suck on your cock, sending shockwaves through your body.
I just wanted to say that I picked up on this error the first time I read it but forgot to mention it in feedback, and wanted you to know that your change did not go unnoticed here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
Anon, if I kneel any harder I'll pass through the floor

[Anonymous No.]

>>44724736
>>44720538
Just wanted to add on that I do believe that this could be quite a good smut story if you put in the effort to extend those scenes; more than anything else including the strange cocaine plot device, adding more to the malnourished smut content will provide the most benefit. If nothing else, I find myself seriously wishing the blowjob scene lasted longer; you've successfully reminded me of the dirge of quality Nene sex fics...

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656582
Polka flying to Egypt and being eaten by a camel

[Anonymous No.]

>>44726337
Camels eat people?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44726432
They do in fanfiction

[Anonymous No.]

>>44726432
They would eat fennecs

[Anonymous No.]

>>44726432
Have you ever been in a room with a starving camel?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656582
Someone really needs to write a Mori x horse fic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44702927
Hey anon, i was right. You can post it now that she's been terminated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44726943
What makes you think that doesn't exist already?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44702927
What comedic timing shit is this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44726943
How about a horse vtuber

[Anonymous No.]

>>44726337
Does it munch her or just swallows her whole

[Anonymous No.]

What are some good kissing fics?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
Good lord, this MC is slimy.
And why in the hell does a high-school have vending machines stocked with Steel Reserve?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44733190
suisei grows a horsecock

[Anonymous No.]

>>44734073
I can't really remember a fic that has kissing be the entire focus but 'Our Cures' has some really good fucking kissing scenes. Fair warning, it has rrat!Ayame as the core character.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44736213
I like !rratAyame so I'll check it out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44734073
A taste of sin has some pretty good kissing. Be forewarned that it's suicest. I'm not big onto the fetish itself, but I think the writer nailed the taboo nature combined with some sloppy first experience kissing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44736213
>>44736284
rrat! Ayame is great. Needs more than one series and one fic (even though I'm a bit worried about Koreanbro not getting the joke)

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656557
https://rentry.org/yhyqwd

FutaSana fucking Fauna. There's probably a few mistakes, and its the first time i've written porn but its here, its finished and i dont want to take another look at it.
This got dropped and picked up like thrice, i got way over my head but hey, i finished it.
Give it a read or not, i cant help you there. And thanks to that one guy wanting to read this, this one is for you champ

[Anonymous No.]

>>44739425
Don't you mean three fics? Cold air hot blood and it's sequel where pretty much 'The rrat!Ayame fic' prior to Our Cures dethroning it.
Also yeah, I really hope the koreanbro gets the joke though a small part of me suspects he doesn't given that he translated the sequel to cold air first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44740345
I thought this would never fucking come out

[Anonymous No.]

>>44740345
Nice use of Latin.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44740729
Ah I didn't read that one and it isn't tagged as such. Only Hedonist Reckoning and Our Cures have the rrat!Ayame tag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44744506
You should read them. The two fics kind of set the baseline for 'non-streamer' rrat!Ayame.
I wish the author for it would write that third part they teased about Mio coming over and Ayame bullying (You) into playing the part of her boyfriend.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44745479
I will. I like Ayame in general but I enjoyed the two rrat!Ayame fics especially. Very different situations but there is something to this weird, doubly-made-up character they both got right

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
My... my knees!
Even if I like Holos more...
I KNEEL!

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
Wow, /wg/ has been blessed. Great days for the thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44705353
Why here though?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44746855
nta but it's
>writing
>fan-made content
that's all there is to it

[Anonymous No.]

It's funny that the recent AI voice anon and now the visual novel anon both come here, and show people that the possibilities of writing and fiction go beyond simply writing something and presenting it as-is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44746855
Because I like this thread. I like reading what you guys write, and I trust that you guys are critical enough to tell me if it's good enough to shill

[Anonymous No.]

>>44747122
What are your favourite stories?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44747052
>feeding garbage into a machine vs writing your own vn
>both are the same!
kill yourself shill

[Anonymous No.]

>the thread produces content
>the threadshitter comes to roost
like clockwork

[Anonymous No.]

>>44740345
>>44742576
Ok I just read it. Honestly, the exposition at the start was unnecessary and added nothing to the story. By the dialogue exchange alone in that part, I got the gist they were lovers and Fauna teased some fucking for later. So, there is really no necessity to add an in-universe explanation to why Sana has a dick and they need to fuck. Other than that, the story was pretty good for your first smut, it's literally only the start that feels very amateurish for the reasons I gave

[Anonymous No.]

>>44740345
God I wish I was FutaSana

[Anonymous No.]

>>44747268
Anon...
You do realize that voice ai writer fed their script into the ai to VA it rather than having it be also be generated by something else right?
Would you be this pissy if they has also gave a link to the script they wrote?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44747247
I like the SFW lore-based ones the most. A Sapling Story had some kino prose. Other ones that come to mind, Built to Last and Blood Bound.
...maybe I have a thing for scary women

[Anonymous No.]

>>44748233
glad you liked it. Yeah the first section was mush i wrote like months ago and i never got to fix it. if im being 100% honest with you, i just let it to diss kronii eating subway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44740345
>>44748816
NTA but I laughed at the Kronii subway joke
I really liked the story too, the smut was pretty good

[Anonymous No.]

>>44656582
A story where each season you have to endure what your girlfriend Lamy does to you sexually everyday.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44749414
What impacts do the seasons have?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44749604
>Winter - Loving and Vanilla
>Spring - Clingy and Yandere
>Summer - Sweaty and Mean
>Fall - Needy and Desperate

[Anonymous No.]

>>44749604
Winter: Nursing Handjobs
Spring: Nursing Handjobs
Summer: Nursing Handjobs
Autumn: Nursing Handjobs

[Anonymous No.]

>>44753580
I like your way of thinking pal

[Anonymous No.]

>>44753580
As a snow elf I highly believe Lamy would be in the mood for sex during summer. She'd probably drop dead on the bed and let you fuck her sweaty tits while she just lays there. She'll even complain about being covered in hot semen because it makes her even sweatier

[Anonymous No.]

>>44749604
Spring: Blowjobs everyday that feel so good that you never want it to end. Expect to never leave the house during these sessions because by the time Lamy is finished, you have no energy to do anything and all you want to do is sleep. Lamy always pampers you with her love when you wake up after your nap and she even feeds you and keeps you hydrated. She goes back to sucking your dick once you are watered, fed, and received enough of her affection.

Summer: Lamy's sex drive is at its highest and she becomes really aggressive when she has sex with you. Whether you can keep up with her or not doesn't matter to her. All you are to her is a human dildo and she WILL get your cum into her womb whether you like it or not. Expect to be nursed back to full health when she's done with you and having to endure it all over again when you are fully healed.

Autumn: Lamy has gentle, loving sex with you and she even lets you have control in bed.

Winter: Lamy becomes lethargic and her sex drive is at its lowest. Expect to do all the housework in the house, the cooking to feed both you and her, and her never letting you go because she needs her human sized hot water bottle near her at all times. Also expect to have no sex drive of your own as well because Lamy's warmth when she cuddles into you drains all those horny thoughts out of you and you want nothing more than to pamper your elf girlfriend.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44749604
Spring - Slightly lethargic, lots of blowjobs and paizuri
Summer - Very lethargic, becomes a complete pillow princess, very pliable to whatever you want to do
Fall - Mating season, almost completely refuses to do anything but vaginally
Winter - the most variable, if you succeeded in impregnation her she likes to take it slow and prefers anal, if you didn't succeed she does whatever she feels like that day and she has extreme amounts of stamina

[Anonymous No.]

>>44733190
The only horse chuuba I know about is Umari Tomoe.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44755123
Hello? Snow elf? Hello??? SNOW ELF??? HELLO??????

[Anonymous No.]

>>44758968
Alright then, would it make more sense if we swap Summer and Winter around so that Lamy is sexually active in the cold season and lethargic in the warm season?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44760044
I do not care to speculate any further with you, the fact that you could make such a gargantuan mistake in the first place shows you have no interest or knowledge of lore

[Anonymous No.]

>>44758968
Half-elf

[Anonymous No.]

>>44761698
We've been over this already

>>40096868

[Anonymous No.]

>>44761609
If we go at it by that logic, then the entire prompt makes no sense because lorewise, Lamy would never do such a thing at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44739425
Koreanbro is the reason I refrained from putting a Korean joke in Hedonist's Reckoning in fact, and it ended up translated so that worked out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44761925
Lamy would never have sex lorewise?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762130
Why else would you be bitching at me about "lore" in a fanfic thread, anon?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762306
Ever heard of a strawman?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762411
I have but its really difficult to tell on the internet.
No matter. I'm always shit at giving out details as like you said, I don't have interest in knowledge or the "lore" so my post should not matter. I also think >>44755679 idea is much better so I would rather go for his and his is much more detailed and well thought out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762749
If your post doesn't matter, why did you bother posting at all?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762749
I don't have anything to say anymore, just wish to tell you the guy below you isn't me. Deal with them as you wish

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762792
Because >>44749604 wanted to know how the seasons would impact Lamy and I decided to give a well detailed reply in >>44755123 which I do admit was a massive fuck up. I attempted to correct it but like you said at >>44761609 I might as well have not bothered because like you said and I quote it the third time, I do not understand the "lore" of Lamy at all.
That's my last reply on the matter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762943
Protip: never admit weakness here

[Anonymous No.]

>>44762943
I smell blood in the water.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44761863
Wow, deep Wamy wore. Thanks for the information.