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/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers


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File: 60 KB, 1080x895, Ouuuuhhhh sheeeep.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61892013 No.61892013 [Reply] [Original]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. Check the archives below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!

Collective works so far are available in the archive:
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

"Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction?"
Yes.

Previous thread: >>61708442 (where the thread talked about Coco's buttplug tail thing, a literal sword being huggable, and wedgies)
/wg/ rentry: https://rentry.org/wgrentry/

>> No.61892111
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61892111

Story anchor.
Give 'em to the sheep.

>> No.61892176
File: 1.21 MB, 1000x865, wg bounty board.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61892176

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

>> No.61892264
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61892264

>>61892111
Apple of Her Eye (Novelization) Chapter One

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vT9XwpPB80BHw13OMbIeJL_aFu_i7SdrOGxLYgAvy9xZfIriDaN-c5SJJJwuvGQurVcQh9frMpoInnw/pub

Chapter Two

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTFOGH0MUksaxP8_uL-h8ZS0yCNBiVomJuJggWL762QD-grl4O_9dgHM7p0FotF3h8aXisxvjDSE-7L/pub

tags: Suisei, Sora, Marine, Anon, sexual abuse

Chapter one and two for everyone.

>> No.61892367
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61892367

Story recap!
There were 4 stories posted last thread. What a harvest!

Holoshorts - Vestia Zeta >>61717988
Tags: Vestia Zeta, wedgie, short story, compendium entry

Coco's eggs >>61756195
Tags: Egg laying,Birth, Orgasm, Fluff

EXCESS >>61791338
Tags: SFW, Elira, Selen, Cyberpunk, Light Drama, Foreplay

Apple of Her Eye (novel version) Chapter Two >>61889694
tags: Suisei, Sora, Marine, Anon, sexual abuse

>> No.61892636
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61892636

I wish more characters were kind, thicc shortstacks like Watame.

>> No.61892651
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61892651

Urge to write more sheep sex rapidly rising, the MV releasing soon sure as fuck isn't gonna temper that at all.

>> No.61892799

>>61892636
Man, her thighs are thicker than her waist. that's so hot

>> No.61892855

>>61892799
Do NOT fuck the sheep

>> No.61892919

>>61892855
Let's settle on a nursing handjob as a compromise.

>> No.61892982
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61892982

>>61892855
You're too late, I already have. I'm going to keep fucking the sheep too.

>> No.61894754

>>61892919
Nursing handjobs are awesome.

>> No.61895816
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61895816

>>61892264
The setup moved very quickly. I suppose it was part of the transition from greentext to prose. Nothing too grating or such, but it could've used some more work to lay the grounds for the story better. Me personally, I would've made Anon be stepping out of Suisei's car as he recollects on what happened, maybe have a little segment for himself where he talks about the Suisei he knows.
You did a great job of setting up the innocence in little Anon. Things like him saying he's not a baby or staring away from Suichan's panties really sell him, althought I believe you could've lingered a bit more on his discomfort. I do understand however, that you might not be comfortable doing so.
Perhaps I'm misremembering things from the original fic, but I see this time you've gone with a different angle to Suisei, much similar to Reine in Sakura Summer.
>No amount of candy or toys was worth going through this.
God, that's fucking guttural.

That said, a couple of grammar/formatting errors popped up here and there. Could've used a little once over. Chapter two had a sudden change in perspective.


Other than that, I'm glad we're finally getting this as a series. The original greentext was one of the must guttural, rawest things I've read and I want to feel my stomach turn again. Thanks for posting it, Anon.

>> No.61896018
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61896018

>>61797734
>>61799871
>>61801123
Thanks for the kind words! I realized that the exposition was a bit much and probably not super naturally put in, but I figured if I was playing it a bit fast and loose and it's more of a vehicle for stuff involving the trio anyway to just get it out of the way now so I don't necessarily have to worry about cluing people in later when I inevitably write more. I'm also seemingly a slave to en media res beginnings which doesn't help. But they're just so much fun!

>> No.61898100
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61898100

>> No.61898154
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61898154

>>61895816
>lingered a bit more on his discomfort

I'm saving the really gritty focus for the Marine shower scene, that and the ending which I already wrote in novel form. It may not work well in practice, but in theory what I'm hoping is that those few moments where I let the discomfort linger are going to really be a slap to the face. I can see why you'd prefer it though.

>Perhaps I'm misremembering things from the original fic, but I see this time you've gone with a different angle to Suisei, much similar to Reine in Sakura Summer.

Yes. I'm giving her a bit more humanity but also a bit more sinister qualities so make it be even more stomach churning. I'll be doing the same for Marine as well when her part comes up.

>hat said, a couple of grammar/formatting errors popped up here and there. Could've used a little once over. Chapter two had a sudden change in perspective.

Yeah I keep missing that no matter how many times I check it. It's so damn annoying. I'll look at it again.

>Other than that, I'm glad we're finally getting this as a series.

I'm glad you like in the macabre way I was hoping people would. I was never expecting it to be a hit so I didn't really put as much force into as I could've.

I'm really looking forward to how people feel about the marine scene and the ending where Sora and Anon reunite. If you think this is guttural, get ready for something absolutely gut wrenching.

>> No.61898929
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61898929

>>61892111
Anchoring Holoshorts again, this time with the current index!

Title: Holoshorts
Tags: Hololive, wedgie, variety, compendium
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTHQNoyNK1_zHfuT4kP0bJdxTCWMilPc6L1eNFwJYbZVcyspsJFyIkCMQfXT58CGVuoA0oixd_PtCoh/pub

Current index of completed entries w/ word counts for gauging read time:
-Vestia Zeta, 1345
-Shishiro Botan (with mild Tsunomaki Watame), 1689
-Amane Kanata, 1941
-Kaela Kovalskia, 1908
-Hakos Baelz and Calliope Mori (and IRyS), 5143
-Airani Iofifteen, 3240
-Omaru Polka, 3698

Picrel is the newest as of this post!

>> No.61899860

>>61898154
Oh you better deliver. I want to fucking DIE reading this fic.

>> No.61900361

>>61899860
I'm already writing chapter 3 now. Can't seem to get the magic flowing for the other WIPs I want to write but I've got a lot of focus so it's the perfect time to get this sucker done and off my back.

>> No.61902730
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61902730

>> No.61904221

>>61898929
That's a nice Polkass.

>> No.61904669
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61904669

What are you working on? Ask for some advice or simply generate some buzz and excitement for your new literary masterpiece!
Bonus Question: Is there actually any interest in having a Christmas themed writing Contest or more generally, any writing contest for the late November to late December period with Christmas to New years being the voting period?

>> No.61905397

>>61904669
Working on a Tiwa fic. Managed to figure out how to do the intro to the climax section but can't work on it until Monday. Seriously I don't know how anyone can write on their phones.

>bonus
I'm interested in another contest but I'm not so sure if I'm sold on it being strictly Christmas themed.

>> No.61905417

>>61904221
When is it ever not?

>> No.61905570

>>61904669
I am going to finish my chapter this weekend. I'm confident that this will happen. Making sure that it won't come out shitty is another thing, though...

>> No.61905575
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61905575

>>61904669
Something cool with a friend.
>Bonus
It's a cute idea. I can't imagine people making Thanksgiving stories.

>> No.61906263

>>61905397
>Seriously I don't know how anyone can write on their phones.
Ever heard of a Bluetooth keyboard? Just pair it up to your phone and you're writing... Admittedly on a tiny fucking screen.

>> No.61906304

>>61906263
Minimal screen real estate hate

>> No.61907635

>>61904669
I have no interest in writing a specifically Christmas themed story.

>> No.61908722

>>61905575
>Thanksgiving stories.
What would that even be? I can only imagine it being either an unironic fic about a group of chuubas gathering for Thanksgiving cue generic Thanksgiving dinner scene or group of chuubas you like come via boat to a place where a group of chuubas you don't like live and give them smallpox.

>> No.61908809
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61908809

>>61892111
Apple of Her Eye (novelization) Chapter Three

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSetGDO1l8kCXtCTXoecmqMwzcNizmc7m83tUM4WK9ZUDN_1EoxF66yYsZUEjIuzdsuj-bT6enmRUMU/pub

tags: Suisei, Sora, Marine, Anon, sexual abuse

I added a lot of meat to this segment and I'll be upfront and say this is pretty vile to read. I amped up basically everything from the Marine-Anon onsen scene to 11. So brace yourself for it.

>> No.61909007

>>61904669
So far I'm continuing the Novelization of Apple of Her Eye and then I'm going to keep trying to work on the Building Block Doll-like story.

So far it's coming along good, I'm just struggling for direction. I don't want it to just be BBD 2 with the same story beats. Once I can think of a good baseline plot, it'll start coming to me a lot quicker.

>> No.61909180

>>61908722
Futa ID members take turns "stuffing" Reine while she's tied up on the dinner table.

>> No.61909209

>autocorrect fucks up Towa's name
Classic

>>61906263
Honestly that doesn't sound like an improvement

>> No.61909537
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61909537

>>61904669
Laying the groundwork for some detective stuff, see where my muse takes me beyond 'Anon and Ame go investimagate a double murder in Anon's old hometown + spooky occult stuff'

>> No.61909551

>>61909209
It's never auto corrected tonka towtruck's name for me. Tokyo Tower's name is always correct when I write it.

>> No.61909739

>>61909551
Don't know how anybody could fuck up Tomatoyucky Toenail really

>> No.61909763

>>61909209
Anon, how could your phone possibly fuck up Towapasta Tortellini

>> No.61910101
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61910101

>>61909209
Tabasco Towelette is pretty simple, idk why your phone would change it.

>> No.61910210

>>61904669
taking a small break after my exam, then going to start chipping away at holoctober prompts+ Mori WIP
Bonus: i dont like seasonal stories. I mean i dont hate them, but i feel like forcing a "christmas story" just because its christmas lessens the impact it could have

>> No.61910459

Apparently /fbk/ has chosen not to (or perhaps not chosen to) participate in the tag team portion of LotB. What threads would be thematically appropriate for Son of the Fly to tag team with? Do we even care which we participate with, so long as Flyboy gets to deck some fools? So far the Shiori thread and drawthread are possible combinations.

>> No.61910505

>>61910459
Oh, and /vag/ + /log/.

>> No.61910610

>>61910459
For me, the Shiori thread would be fine, yeah. If they won't be participating either, then the drawthread. It would've been perfect for us to pair with /fbk/ though; imagine their fighter pairing up with the Son of the Fly... just glorious.

>> No.61910799

>>61910459
I'm with what >>61910610 said.

>> No.61910839

>>61910610
Yeah, /fbk/ was my number one choice as well, which is why the rep got back to me saying "no dice, pick someone else or /wg/ can't participate in the tag team tourney."

Can't have everything, I suppose...

>> No.61911043

>>61910459
Going by the participants list.
The Shiori thread or /log/ are the 'closest' to us by writing logic (and the Shiori/AA joke for the Shiori thread).
So I say we go for the Shiori first option and /log/ as the alternative.

>> No.61911655

>>61910610
>>61910799
>>61911043
Thanks for the input guys.

>> No.61911670
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61911670

>>61892176
Making Lamy anally absorb a bottle of vodka

>> No.61911886

>>61911670
but why

>> No.61911908

>>61911886
What he's not telling you is that he secretly wants a snuff fic.

>> No.61912046
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61912046

>>61911886
>She can take it
>its hot to imagine her going cross eyed and orgasming while having the buzz of her life
>flexible prompt: You can have anal sex, brapping, ryona, comedy
>Lamy should get raped
>she's hot
>i want her to absorb alcohol anally
There. If you want more reasons i can provide more

>> No.61912327

>>61909209
>Honestly that doesn't sound like an improvement
Keep in mind if you have an external keyboard, the on-screen keyboard won't pop up so at least you'll have your full phone screen real estate.
Obviously it's going to be inferior to typing on a computer but it's better than nothing.

>> No.61913627

>>61904669
I'd like a contest that is themed but with a low barrier to entry, where you don't need many thousands of words to compete on an even playing field.

>> No.61913896

>>61904669
Forbidden love with an age gap.
>Christmas contest
Eh, not really feeling it. If I had to write under the prompt of christmas-themed fics I'd just give up.

>> No.61913927

>>61911886
don't you mean butt why
hehe

>> No.61914136

>>61913627
So maybe a contest with a minimum and maximum word count so that the category can't get taken over super long fic, (also so that the scope of what needs to be written can't be scope crept and overtake the contest like what happened in the last one)?

>> No.61914137

>>61912046
>Lamy should get raped

What did she do to deserve that?

>> No.61914280

>>61914137
Maybe it's consensual roleplay rape.

>> No.61914779

>>61914137
You need a reason to rape?

>> No.61915897
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61915897

>>61904669
You know what I’m working on

I could do it I guess but it’s a take or leave situation

>> No.61916438
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61916438

>>61904669
Something big.
>bonus
I don't know about Christmas, but stories that are winter-themed/take place during the winter could be interesting. Usually the season/weather is just sort of glossed over.

>> No.61917283
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61917283

>>61892176
A quickie about fucking and sucking Fubuki's tits titled My Friend's Fat Tits.

>> No.61918981

>>61911670
Reminded me of this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%90or%C4%91e_Martinovi%C4%87_incident
>On 1 May 1985, Đorđe Martinović, a 56-year-old resident of the Kosovo town of Gnjilane, arrived at the local hospital with a broken bottle wedged in his rectum. He claimed that he had been attacked by two Albanian men while he was working in his field.
>The Martinović affair, as it became known, turned into a cause célèbre in Serbian politics. Although the facts of the incident remained in dispute for years afterwards, it played a significant role in worsening ethnic tensions between Kosovo's Serb and Albanian population.

>> No.61919034

>>61918981
>After being interrogated by a Yugoslav People's Army colonel, Martinović reportedly admitted that his injuries had been self-inflicted in a botched attempt at masturbation.

>> No.61919051

>>61918981
As the wedgie guy I need to let it be known this does nothing for me

>> No.61919703

>>61918981
Holoslavia Anon...
This better be some random fucking incident that happens/gets mentioned in your fic.

>> No.61921651
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61921651

>> No.61921760

>>61919703
That anon's not me lmao
But let's just say this incident is somewhere in the back of my head

>> No.61922890

>>61921760
Actually wait this vaguely made me remember a discussion from months back about Marine playing a bunny girl and shoving a carrot up her ass, blaming it on Rrats, and causing the fall of holoslavia.

>> No.61923293
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61923293

>>61922890
Yes, I was at that discussion too and it inspired me

>> No.61926800
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61926800

>>61914137
>lecherous body disturbing the peace, making people pop boners and corrupting our youths
lamy should get raped until she learns to be better

>> No.61932256
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61932256

>> No.61936267

Born too late to explore the earth
Born too early to explore the universe
Born just in time to see a wedgie fetish and an old Serbian car ad applied to hololive

>> No.61939206

>>61909007
I mean if you're tackling the same fetish you're inevitably going to tackle the same themes.
The good thing is, this is fanfiction, you can pull from the characters you're using and see how you can adapt their history/backstory into drawing out a plot.

>> No.61942942

CLEAR

>> No.61944197
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61944197

fox sex

>> No.61944345

>>61944197
>touching costs 50 more than cuddling
What are the logistics of cuddling without touching?

>> No.61944552

>>61944345
Maybe it's touching specific areas

>> No.61944553

>>61944197
a single latte for 20 is daylight robbery

>> No.61944571

>>61944345
it's probably more accurate to say "groping"

>> No.61944576

>>61944345
I mean in this context it's pretty obviously going to be "She cuddles with you and you're not allowed to grope her without upgrading to Touching".

>> No.61944647

>>61944345
It's one thing to feel her breasts press against your chest. It's a completely different thing to grab those boobs, sinking your fingers into that soft meat

>> No.61944723

>>61944197
I have never felt tempted to pay for sex until this moment.

>> No.61944868

>>61926800
That is pretty irresponsible of her... being so hot and seductive all the time... she seems to think this is just fine to tempt men this way

>> No.61944872

>>61944723
Same, except it was until I read Oni Delivery.

>> No.61944945

i probably wouldn't pay 300 for a blowjob even if it was fubuki let alone 500+ to fuck her
sex ain't worth nearly a week of wages

>> No.61945075

>>61944945
What if it's actually in yen? Would you buy a 3 dollar Fubuki paizuri?

>> No.61945241

>>61945075
mate she'd barely get a chance to breathe again with my cock constantly down her throat

at that price i'd just live in the store fucking her at every opportunity

>> No.61945287

>>61944945
Sex with a kitsune seems worth a lot more. Just the revelation that a being like that really exists would be mindblowing.

>> No.61945462

>>61945287
>mindblowing
Okay I know you mean this in a "whoa" kind of way, but for some reason this just makes me think of a guy going insane Lovecraft style because he saw a kitsune.

>> No.61945747

>>61945462
>Is that a girl?! With FLUFFY EARS AND A TAIL?! AIIIIEEEEEE TASUKETE OGAMAN!

>> No.61945760

>>61945287
i suppose that's true in some sense but the wow factor is kind of reliant on the majestic presence of a mythical creature and foobs can't have a majestic presence because she's a cheeky goofball with a heart of gold

>> No.61946016

>>61945760
I don't know, a woman with real animal ears and a real tail already has a lot of wow factor. But maybe that's just me.

>> No.61946246

>>61945747
>>61892176
Horror story where to your horror (You) discover that you have kemonomimi ancestry, and how it affects your relationships with the kemono girls you know (and had been dickish towards).

>> No.61946384

>>61946246
If you have too much kemonomimi ancestry, you'll lose your human rights.

>> No.61946656
File: 3.21 MB, 3240x2894, Koroblood.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61946656

How would I write Korone as a fierce, violent gang leader with a grey morality while keeping her goofy, giggly side present? I'm having a lot of trouble integrating the two aspects of her character.

>> No.61946687

>>61946656
She acts the latter to those who are loyal to her.

>> No.61946740

>>61946384
>Anon after discovering he is 5% Dragon
https://youtu.be/0bEZHVkhaAE?si=nHLZAApf4W23duW9

>> No.61946863
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61946863

>>61892111
should she just kill pomu idk how to go on from here
yes it's abt the sanrio collab

>> No.61947031

>>61946246
>The rats! THE RATS IN THE WALLS! THEY DID THIS TO ME!
>hear a muffled "bruh"

>> No.61947082

>>61946863
Please don't reply to the story anchor without a complete story.

>> No.61947200

>>61947082
fair enough i just woke up

>> No.61947721

>>61892176
Mind numbing, mind breaking, primal, intense, rough making sex with your fuck buddy Marine.

I actually dislike her but seeing the OP image of her general made me get really horny for her.

>> No.61948000

>>61947082 actually i meant to reply to top post im new to this site

>> No.61948085

>>61947721
Maybe you could use that burst of horny inspiration and write a short piece about fucking her. You seem to have a clear image in mind

>> No.61948390

>>61948000
No worries, the archiver will archive the thread's stories properly.
Besides, it's always nice to see new writers in the thread. As for >>61946863, Selen isn't really the person to kill someone even if you imagine her in a bad state or as a darker version of herself. It might fit with your story, you know it best. But including something like that in a story about generally positive and light-hearted characters needs a good justification and payoff.

>> No.61950234

>>61948085
You asked for it, anon. Just don't be surprised that my writing makes no sense and that my choice of words aren't very good.

---

>Fuck Marine doggy style with a condom on
>Be extremely rough in it while squeezing the absolute "life" out of her juicy melons and leaving scratch marks on them
>Call her a worthless, slutty cow that's only good for fucking / wanking and that the REASON you are doing this is because she's made you really, really horny
>Tell her that she wasn't even your first choice for fucking roughly
>While she's begging you to stop raping her and that you're going too rough with her, you keep going and soon she starts letting out moans of pleasure due to how "good" (against her will that is) you are making her feel
>When you are about to cum you suddenly stop and pull out of her.
>When she whimpers in protest and asks why you stopped, you then tell her to take the condom off your dick and then to make you feel good with her hands
>Cue the most inexperienced handjob where she jerks you off too roughly and leaves your poor dick sore and scratch marks on it
>Still blow the fattest load you've ever had because its Marine and while her handjob does hurt and causing you pain, her hand feels too good and the fact you were fucking her doggy style earlier helped build up the tension for that sweet release on your dick
>while you are recovering from your climax and all those lewd thoughts leave you, suddenly you feel a massive weight drop on your crotch
>Marine's switch suddenly got flipped and now she wants revenge.
>The next 8 hours of your life is spent with Marine riding you like a cowgirl dead intent on making you cum inside her. She won't stop until all the semen is extracted from your balls and that is libido is fully satisfied.

---

Yeah, I know its nothing special. My "horny" thoughts were leaving me so I squeezed this out as fast as I can. Feel free to obliterate it, destroy it, critisize it as best you can.

>> No.61952056
File: 118 KB, 870x1024, __houshou_marine_usada_pekora_houshou_marine_and_usada_pekora_hololive_drawn_by_homura_hmr0222__d20e550326c90099c1775bb1c0fc5187.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61952056

Marine called Pekora her knight in today's stream (21:51-21:57)
Kyaa~

>> No.61955200
File: 36 KB, 680x829, 1678481974382405.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61955200

>>61950234
>Cumming from the WOAT handjob just because it's Marine doing it

>> No.61956702
File: 643 KB, 989x1497, __usada_pekora_hololive_drawn_by_otter_paw_otter696969__a4d79a465eaa967df59d8626b8ef64c5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61956702

>> No.61956779

>>61956702
>my little troublemaker can't be this cute

>> No.61957340
File: 1.56 MB, 1006x1400, 1621720771180.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61957340

>>61892111
Apple of Her Eye (Novelization) Chapter Four

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSexkswg9ReUvSgoFH4RM11vWr_Fwo4Hyd5ZzGPwKBAG1inUTUjQlcbOIIkyiwJV9pi1sonru_T4jSS/pub

tags: Suisei, Sora, Marine, Anon, sexual abuse

Final chapter and it was about as hard as I was expecting it to be. Hope you like it but, as with the last chapter, steel yourself a bit for it. It's grim but I did keep the happy ending.

>> No.61957365

>>61950234
Hey, it's a fun scenario. You did more than the many people who have an idea and do nothing more than putting it in a prompt, hoping that someone else will pick it up.

>> No.61957999

What's the best rape correction story?

>> No.61958883

/wg/ brainwashed me into thinking second-person self insert characters are normal. I started writing a story and both third and first person perspectives felt weird to me because I actually had to name and design a character for the protagonist role.

>> No.61959121
File: 140 KB, 600x475, 1695949350516184.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61959121

>>61958883
It just works. I also don't really see a difference between a second-person self insert and a first. If anything I feel like second-person lets you do more within your narrative than first will.

>> No.61959708

>>61957340

Huh, that was a happy ending indeed Anon. Really enjoyed Sora's love for her son, was very wholesome. Do wonder what happens to the boy later on in life. Suisei & Sora's relationship is pretty shot though.

>> No.61960663

>>61957340
Will Sora ever know that Marine also raped her son?

>> No.61960843

I’m always a third person kinda guy. I like the looseness and the fluidity it provides with whose thoughts you’re focusing on. I wish more writers /here/ wrote with it.

>> No.61962088

>>61957999
I can't think of a story that's meant to be "rape correction". Maybe lies come to light? Credit Where It's Due is pretty great too although unfinished.

>> No.61962153

>>61960843
I like third person better, too; especially how it encourages showing over telling.

>> No.61962387

>>61958883
Idk it’s good for character x reader porn stuff. I still can’t wrap my head around writing it.

>> No.61962465

What can third person provide that second cannot? If you need a perspective shift to go into another character's thoughts, you can still do that within 2nd. I never really thought about the inherit strengths and weaknesses of each perspective.

>> No.61962556

Have we had any 1PP fics?

>> No.61962584

I think we can all agree first person writing is cringe

>> No.61962629

>>61959708
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

>>61960663
Probably not. I doubt I will ever write a sequel to this. One of those stories I just want to leave behind, even though I know this one is a favorite for a lot of people

>> No.61962869

As I read >>61962584, I couldn't help but cringe. I asked myself why someone would be so eager to conceal that they were ultimately always writing from a specific perspective - not from the perspective of the reader or that of some detached narrator, but from their own.

>> No.61963008

>>61962869
As I read this, I realize that first person cannot structurally support describing action, leading to stitled, yet underwhelming sentences end upon end. I rub my eyes; I must be overthinking it.

>> No.61963399

>>61962465
I find delving into another character's thoughts within 2nd person to be awkward. It gives a sense that you, the focused character, are somehow reading the other characters' minds. It's not impossible, sure, but I think it just flows a lot better in 3rd person.
And this is just my own taste, but I don't really care for being part of a story. I find it much more interesting to observe events that are occurring rather than making things about me.

>> No.61963411
File: 601 KB, 821x829, 1670368659378.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61963411

>>61962584
And yet you wrote your post in first person perspective. How hypocritical of you.

>> No.61963540

>>61963411
that smug brat needs correction. She thinks she can look at me with that shit eating grin and get away with it?

>> No.61963636

I would like to see a second person perspective fic with a narrator that talks to you. It'd be unique because when the narrator says "you", he'd refer to both the reader and the self-insert protagonist at the same time.

>> No.61963802
File: 171 KB, 625x621, 1691521499299.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61963802

>>61963540
You can tell she has the same rigger as Shion

>> No.61963821

>>61963636
That's just a DM

>> No.61963942

>>61963821
Kind of, but it's an underexplored thing in non-interactive fiction isn't it?

>> No.61964000

>>61962584
It has its place. It’s regarded as one of the “easier” formats of writing, but that doesn’t mean it’s useless. In my head I view it as something similar to using present tense instead of past. It’s not like there’s never a place for it, but it shouldn’t be your default.

>> No.61964108
File: 458 KB, 832x1200, __shigure_ui_and_shigure_ui_indie_virtual_youtuber_and_1_more_drawn_by_huwari_dnwls3010__93932e94c9ed03060e5f8f6878bfae71.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61964108

Second person perspective fic but the narrator just constantly insults you and calls your every action and thought retarded

>> No.61964193

>>61964108
The Stanley Parable

>> No.61964351

>>61964108
>You, as the dumb fucking loser you are, fumbled for your phone while Mikochi looked at you expectantly, with the air of judging someone infinitely less competent than her (which said a lot about how much of a fucking loser you were).

>> No.61964785

>>61964108
Ui could narrate, from your perspective, a past night you spent with her and make fun of you throughout.

>> No.61964977

>>61963399
That's fair. When I've personally wanted to specifically narrate another character's thoughts, I specifically make the perspective shift and hope for the best, or I do it within a scene where the (You) isn't present. I personally like to think I'm involved in the events of the story, it adds a degree of fun to the immersion, I know it's not everyone's cup of tea though, so 3rd person works great for them.

>> No.61965229

>>61964108
Manual Samuel?

>> No.61965652
File: 1.13 MB, 1240x1754, __natsuiro_matsuri_hololive_drawn_by_sabaku_chitai__6bb441847bbc96d2817e75e114f2df7c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61965652

>>61965229
Never heard of it

>> No.61966110

>>61965652
You do everything manually (ie: breathe, blink, walk) and it also has a narrator that insults you whenever you fuck up something (ie: you can take a tumble down the stairs when you don't walk down stairs properly or forget to breathe / blink).

>> No.61966133

>>61963008
I fucked your mom, laughing gleefully while she came on my cock. You were still in your room, tucked in bed, unaware of the ravaging I was giving your mom. That alone made my trip to Jakarta worth it. There, I just described action. I can't help it if you're a bad writer.

>> No.61967049

>>61936267
Isn’t it great!
>>61939206
Yeah that’s the way you need to go about it. Vary the fetishshit if possible but mainly change the context it appears in

>> No.61969226

>>61958883
Congratulations, you've been groomed into the exact writing style that will let you write a quest.

>> No.61971042
File: 65 KB, 981x873, 1649790960959.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61971042

>> No.61972918

Hey, wedgie guy, what if you have their underwear rip and noel say they lose

>> No.61973722

>>61972918
Lmao reading my outline text huh?

That’s a fair idea, though I’d like to keep it in tact and just have her notice them during some downtime while they’re trying to adjust with hoods down. It’s more finding something for them to do before that encounter. I’ll think of something eventually but I’m stumped now.

>> No.61975072

>>61973722
i left the tab open over night on accident and got a chuckle out of the blank space brackets text when I checked again

>> No.61975169
File: 227 KB, 1464x2048, FYqjHN4UEAAbhYV.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61975169

>>61975072
You chekov's gun the underwear ripping a lot I forgot to say so it feels weird when they don't is all

>> No.61975352

>>61962465
Third person is probably best if you're going to swap perspectives a lot. Of course you can have a main perspective in first/second person but if you're doing a lot of perspective hopping in something like an interlude then establishing different 1st/2nd person narrators for all of them would be both hard and kinda pointless if you're never hopping back into that perspective anytime soon.

>> No.61975378
File: 384 KB, 750x749, 53CBB55A-ABF4-4CA0-A81A-DC323B44273F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61975378

>>61975169
You mean the fabric popping? That’s mainly for realism and suspense for the character. It’s something that I only pull trigger on when it suits the narrative, like Polka

>> No.61975991

>>61973722
Have you ever considered a self insert protagonist in first or second person?

>> No.61976031

>>61975991
As a fan of GrandLeviathan, yes. And I’ve done it before with Pekora and Fubuki. I don’t think I’m particularly good at it.

>> No.61976158

>>61976031
I guess it doesn't make a big difference when you're content with not handing the wedgies out yourself.

>> No.61979102

don't die on me

>> No.61980069

>>61979102
I’m trying to think of ideas gimme a minute

>> No.61981629

>>61980069
I bet your ideas are SHIT

>> No.61981911

>>61981629
That’s probably true

>> No.61982553

>>61981911
Prove it.

>> No.61982590

>>61982553
But I’m using them ):

>> No.61982837

>>61979102
i jerked off too hard to futa, im dry for today

>> No.61983521
File: 614 KB, 498x498, 1683959613432756.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61983521

>>61979102
I'm done with the chapter I'm writing, fucking finally...

>> No.61984056

>>61983521
I bet it was SHIT

>> No.61984883
File: 3.67 MB, 498x473, 1676907173080600.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61984883

>>61984056
It may be shit, but it's my shit and I'm just happy it's done. Now I can finally write the other thing (and, yes, that one's shit too!)

>> No.61985092

>>61984883
why does she have heart pupils in that gif? Don't the stars mean she was slapped silly?

>> No.61985201

>>61985092
she got cockslapped

>> No.61985250

>>61985092
yeah by my dick.
i slapped it against her face and the cockstink overwhelmed her senses

>> No.61985330
File: 38 KB, 540x405, 04.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61985330

>>61985250
>cockstink overwhelmed her senses

>> No.61985553
File: 106 KB, 1080x1060, suilove.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61985553

>>61985330
NTA but you fool you buffoon you stooge.
ALL girls have a degree of smell fetish. It can be for the smelll of a clean shave, a good soap/cologne or even Body odor.
Kemonos have enhanced smell, so pheromones do the thing.
TLDR: she loves cock (mine) and you are a cuck

>> No.61985835
File: 43 KB, 307x300, OP.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61985835

>>61985553
>TLDR: she loves cock (mine) and you are a cuck

this shouldn't have made me laugh so hard

>> No.61986697

>>61985553
a fic where kemono chuuba is constantly huffing your body odor/crotch sounds hot

>> No.61986862

>>61904669
Korone spanking Okayu with bonus lewd.

>> No.61987799
File: 798 KB, 894x886, 1687182757823876.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61987799

>>61986697
>Making animal chuubas sensitive and partial to your scent
Sign me the hell up. I already did a very small one line about this, but I should crank that up next time. Really let the next girl get into it.

>> No.61990698
File: 2.38 MB, 1620x2579, 1687275302978368.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61990698

>> No.61990831

>>61892176
Well. It finally happened. After a whole lot of fucking around (literally), a positive pregnancy test and a note with "ITS YOURS" appears on your desk
You have limited time to find the mother before they go nuclear menhera and reveal the final yab, and both your job and your balls depend on it

>> No.61994243

>azki_survive.jpg

>> No.61994579

>>61990831
>A-Chan comes to check up on you because you've been frantically taking notes for something all day
>"Hey, Anon. Are you alri-"
>"Can scratch off the hags, they're all barren. Cunny's a mixed bag, some are at risk so I'll have to ask about their ages AGAIN! The Christmas Cakes are priority, they all seemed pretty desperate last office party. Probably could have swung a threesome but...Hmm, should probably scope out the Zoomers as well, they all land somewhere on the horny/menhera/retarded/ triple Venn diagram to be suspects."
>"What the fuck?"
>"Oh, hey A-Chan! Seeing as you don't look mad at me do you think you could give me Nodoka's number? I have to ask her something REALLY important!"

>> No.61996801
File: 38 KB, 606x168, 8A9EF360-51BD-4466-A150-4E801821D417.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61996801

>a day has gone by without finishing a new compendium entry
it’s over

>> No.61998025

It's so over

>> No.61998333

>>61998025
Not yet

>> No.61998596
File: 83 KB, 600x600, Suibreathe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61998596

Go to the archive and read some fics. Doesn't have to be random this time, just pick a fic and share your thoughts.
>Memoirs of Bunny Cunny
Heh.
If we ever do another contest we really need a category for short fics (or poems) like these. I think it would be fun to have a constrained category for stuff like greentext or poems.
>Towa!
Hot.
It's literally the plot of a moral degeneration doujin in greentext form, and I'm reasonably certain it's only as hot as it is for me because of I've read stuff like that before so the mind fills in what the text doesn't say.
I think a moral degeneration/corruption fic would be hot. It would be trashy as hell but hot.
>Tsuya
This fic has some weird present tense for the narration it uses. Like I get where the idea of using it is coming from, Suisei is facing the tragedy of her Sister's death at the wake and is still trying to process it, so naturally the present tense makes sense conceptually. Unfortunately execution-wise it just causes more flow breaking prose than it adds in impact. I remember the ending hitting real hard when I first read this a year or so ago, maybe it was because I wasn't reading into it that much back then.

>> No.61999819

>>61986697
Sounds pretty tolerable compared to the prompts where the chuuba is constantly fiddling with your dick or keeping it in her mouth.

>> No.62000614
File: 196 KB, 1051x1200, 0EF28D03-6AE8-445F-B115-191FE3D0A3F3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62000614

>>61892176
The story behind picrel

>> No.62002902 [DELETED] 
File: 1.16 MB, 1637x1844, Not Good[sound=files.catbox.moe%2Fd0k7dq.ogg].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62002902

>>61892176
Reine sucking your dick, insisting it's gross the entire time, but refusing to stop even after you cum

>> No.62004775

Clear.

>> No.62004938

>>62002902
She's imagining that it's Kiara's dick.

>> No.62006346
File: 3.84 MB, 2646x3679, Sui6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62006346

>>61985553
What kind of kemonomimi would Suisei be?
I know the default is cat, but that's the default ears even if I can kinda see the idea for her specifically.

>> No.62006371

>>62006346
tanuki

>> No.62006538

>>62006371
Anon... I think what you saw was Pokobe shapeshifting for the weekly Suisex session with Iroha....

>> No.62006555
File: 328 KB, 438x800, __hoshimachi_suisei_hololive_drawn_by_osanai_sanday__da1219da6c21675e3c9928737cd7fc38.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62006555

Suisei is made for big ojisan cock

>> No.62007024
File: 754 KB, 1254x1620, cow.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62007024

>>62006346
cow

>> No.62007285

>>61986697
Wasn't there a prompt similar to that but it involved Pomu shrinking herself to a minigirl and getting high off your crotch smell?

>>61999819
>compared to the prompts where the chuuba is constantly fiddling with your dick or keeping it in her mouth
As the person who made those "childish" prompts, I just want to say I genuinely wish I had thought about it a little longer, used my brain and went with what >>61986697 did. Would have made that Ayame / Towa prompt more interesting but truth be told, it would have been miles better if it were an animal chuuba, no?

>> No.62009554

>>62006346
A horse, because she's glamorous with a silly streak and because she works hard.

>> No.62009619

>>62009554
Also because she's got a huge penis.

>> No.62009829

>>62009619
Then she should be an elephant. They look like they have another leg at full length

>> No.62011054

>>61898929
>Bae, Mori and IRyS
God it is weird to see Baelz's name in full. Even in written form as just a way to refer to her it feels so fucking weird.
Also, bit weird to not have them be vtubers in universe.
Anyway, this is a decent one, this might just be me but I feel like there was a bit too much swearing for them in a 'this is literally a stream' sense.
Can't really comment on the wedgie stuff since it's completely fucking parallel to my interests but it seems well executed/described.

>> No.62011861

>>62009829
New Mario game and its consequences...

>> No.62012875

>>62011861
It's funny how the Mario game with the elephant powerup and Fauna's elephant arc happened around the same time by accident.

>> No.62014893

>>62007024
She would be a very thin cow

>> No.62014923
File: 141 KB, 850x1102, __houshou_marine_hololive_drawn_by_mikan_chipstar182__sample-ebf874c98267753e56443c707126b83b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62014923

>> No.62015165

>>62014893
She just hasn't been pregnant yet, after all even cows need to be pregnant before they produce milk.
UWAAAA Suisei growing into a titcow after receiving pregnancy correction.

>> No.62016064
File: 991 KB, 1280x720, 1617146155502.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62016064

>>62006346
>horse
>>62009554 aside from this idea, horses are dignified and constantly associated with stardom. They are smart and loyal animals who also never fully mature and usually end up with one weird quirk
>Blue Jay
If she were a bird, its the no brainer. Its a beatiful bird with a lovely call, who also happens to be quite territorial, will chase off some prdators and even decapite other birds in its territory.
>Jasped Salamander
The road of an idol. Axolotls will transform upon receiving the power of hard work, dedication and salt water. Salamanders are exotic, charismatic and natural born survivors, but they only got here due to sheer perseverance.

There are the animals i think fit Suisei. The three of them should emphatize her fat ass and lack of chest

>> No.62017007

>>62015165
I'll carry out the sacred duty, then. Wish me luck, anon.

>> No.62017101

>>62014923
Why is Marine being tortured with books on her lap?

>> No.62017213

>>62017101
she was too horny, needs abstinence correction so she can be a good Christiaan girl

>> No.62017351

>>62017213
I'm not sure that torture qualifies as abstinence correction with how she is.

>> No.62017502

>>62017351
>try to torture the horny out of Marine
>it ironically makes her even hornier and she tries to do more extreme things,
>on one hand if she gets your dick she wins
>on the other if she gets tortured it's just as good
>win, win situation for her

>> No.62018397

Whatever happened to the ayame ntr fic that chloe cuck was writing. Was it ever released?

>> No.62018515

>>62018397
I mean if you're asking if it's been released since the last archive update and you've somehow missed it, then No, and they haven't shown any signs about working or of talking about it since the last time.

>> No.62019144

>>62018397
part of being in wtg is knowing that sometimes authors leave and the one guy waiting turns into Fry's dog.
I dont think that "lamy footjob with a stirrup stocking" guy ever came back, and yet i am still here, waiting patiently

>> No.62019189

>>62018515
i cri

>> No.62019473

>>62018397
I'm sure he'll be finished eventually, even if it takes many months. And he's called CC now.

>> No.62019598

>>62019473
I wonder if CC needs a Lelouch in his life

>> No.62019994

>>61898929
Do you take requests or ideas for your wedgie stories? I really like all of them so far.

>> No.62020266

>>62019473
>AA
>BBB
>CC
Who's next

>> No.62020312

>>62020266
Someone who writes about big breasts, or about a Destroyer.

>> No.62020690

>>62019994
Sure (:

>> No.62021367

>>62020690
Write a battle shounen style fic in which the girls power levels are determined by how fancy their underwear is and how far they can stretch their own wedgie before it snaps.

>> No.62021583

>>62020690
Yay! I was wondering if you would like to write something about Ina giving the other MYTH girls atomic wedgies using her tentacles to keep them up in the air and unable to escape, as a silly prank of course, the jokester she is. But unexpectely, the four girls plan revenge and get together to give Ina the worst wedgie ever.

>> No.62021666

>>62021367
That feels like the plot of a Keijo episode

>> No.62021686

>>62020312
That guy from Kirby

>> No.62021879

>>62020690
Have you considered a thermonuclear wedgie that goes up their back, over their head, back down and through their crotch again only to end up over their head? Like an atomic wedgie, but with a full extra loop.

>> No.62021969

>>62021879
I’ve never heard it called that before but I did draw one like that once…

>> No.62024399

>>62021879
The wedgie arms race...

>> No.62024445

>>62021969
Me neither, I just invented that as the next level beyond atomic.

>> No.62024788

>>62024445
Lol
For whatever reason I’m trying to stay within some realm of realism with these stories, so that probably wouldn’t be something I’d include. But it is still a funny concept.

>> No.62025863

>>62007024
Micro-batch, artisanal milk...

>> No.62027027

>>62020266
>>62020312
DDD
Dunking Donuts Dude

>> No.62027698

>>62025863
>artisanal

I hate this hipster bullshit word so fucking much. Fills me with fury

>> No.62027805

>>62027698
It was funny on the psat that one year

>> No.62027872

>>62027698
Milking by hand is nice, though. Milking machines are lame.

>> No.62028302

>>62027872
Milking machines feel more degrading to use (on a woman). That and also being more rough

>> No.62029349

>>62028302
Fair, I was thinking about cows.

>> No.62029678
File: 157 KB, 703x748, 1698070160618778.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62029678

>>61892176
Suisei pleasing old men for career opportunities

>> No.62031530
File: 88 KB, 1080x944, KoroMUG.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62031530

>> No.62031778

>>62031530
I don't think that's real

>> No.62031901

>>62031778
It's real anon, trust me.

>> No.62031953

>>62031530
Fanfics??

>> No.62032249

>>62031953
>>62031530
A fanfic including a series of messaging app screenshots would be interesting. Sadly that's a bit modern for the author of Holoslavia, who makes all the cool supplemental material.

>> No.62032256
File: 3.09 MB, 1900x2691, 1696441172641979.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62032256

>>61892111
Balsa Chapter 28: An End To Evil

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRTgAyScssKWVHeiNycNedWjyP6vMfBpb0kPk_NlH4qMO5zOeS3S0ttcBn7ujn18KDagidhb1VU_App/pub

tags: (you), fantasy, multiple chuubas

Forgive me for this chapter being short, but I am so burnt out on it that it was as much as I could manage. I still find it a satisfying conclusion and I hope you do too. I realized that my writer's block was that I left this unfinished. I know most don't read it, but if I'm to write anything new, I had to properly complete it.

Thanks to those who read it and enjoyed it. Thanks to those who gave it honest critique. There will be a prequal but not for a very, very, very long time. I am well and truly done with this story lol.

>> No.62033783

>>62032256
congrats on seeing your project till the end anon. I'm happy for you.

>> No.62034012

>>62033783
I appreciate it honestly. Sorry for getting upset and putting out the final chapter early.

Another lesson learned from this is not to fight through burn out. After Ciyana's revival I was sort of done with the story entirely but kept pushing on anyway which, looking back, was why I got so testy.

Thank you for congratulating me. Even with so few reading it, it certainly feels like an accomplishment just having finished it properly.

>> No.62035107
File: 57 KB, 850x505, okakoro.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62035107

>>62032249
You could maybe count twitter edit screenshots as a fanfic...

Anyway, >>61898929 new entry (finally) with picrel!

This one is much longer and more ambitious than the others. But with its inclusion, the compendium is now past 1/4th of the way to 100K!

>> No.62036736

>>62032249
I mean they do also write "Pale Blue" and that included a segment with fake text message screenshots for the purpose of the fic.

>> No.62037562
File: 134 KB, 600x419, 93797a02b36d4130c6bd3c6de9f83f2a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62037562

>>62018397
Yes, I'm still working on it. slowly but surely.

it's the set up that's taking me so long, once i get to the sex It'll get easier.

>> No.62037999
File: 3.93 MB, 2800x3900, 1695590504020593.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62037999

>>62032256
Now I can give feedback on the epilogue with the previous context in place. For this chapter I'm not sure how much there is to say. Encounters went pretty quickly, which is alright, but I kinda hoped I would see more insane stuff from the gods you built up. The conclusion with Mel had the proper tone and emotional beats, but I can't help but feel it ended rather quickly for her considering all the Ws she stacked while getting here. Like you said though, burnt out can be rough, but I'm glad you pushed through the best you could and got it done.
The part near the end was cute.
Botan not mentioning your new lion features are cute was kinda a missed opportunity though.
Now with that out of the way, I can go back to what you said when you released the epilogue and how you did something that would be considered jarring. Yes, that is kinda the case I think. I know a lot of people are avid fubuki fuckers, so it's alright that you wanna make her the end winner of the anon bowl, but it did kinda come outta left field almost with the previous context. Their personal training helped with that in some regard, but not enough to really show and romantic interest by either party. Still, chapter 29 has a nice feel to it and neatly wraps up your passion project with a nice bow. Good work again finishing your adventure story. It was nice to watch it evolve through it's journey. If you're up to talk through it, what hit you with burn out while you were near the end of your story?

>> No.62038161
File: 635 KB, 1080x1901, Screenshot_20231106-000234.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62038161

>>61904669
not rlly sure what should happen now, so tell me some ideas

>> No.62038639
File: 644 KB, 649x880, 1693534604105660.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62038639

>>62037999
>For this chapter I'm not sure how much there is to say.

Yeah... and I know it's a cheap cop out but I am so burnt out from it tat that was as much as I was willing to do. There was quite a bit more I could've done but like... I just can't now. I am sorry it fell short of the boom you were hoping for. Burnt out is a bitch and I would've waited until the inspiration properly came if not for the fact that it seems I was stuck on this and couldn't write anything new until it got finished.

>Botan not mentioning your new lion features are cute was kinda a missed opportunity though.

I actually never thought of that. I was hoping for a short and bitter sweet return. Just enough to give him closure, but short enough that it still hits his heart sorta thing. That would've been cute though if I had thought of that lol.

>end winner of the anon bowl,

Thank you for making me giggle

>but it did kinda come outta left field almost with the previous context.

It did and it was something I failed to capitalize on. I was torn between Ayame and Fubuki throughout the final third and the indecision left both of them incomplete. If I would've just committed to one or the other it would've been better but I fumbled it unfortunately. Nonetheless, I couldn't let Anon go without a happy end to his story, just felt wrong.

>Good work again finishing your adventure story. It was nice to watch it evolve through it's journey.

thank you for helping it evolve as it did. You played a large part in making it what it was. It would've been a far inferior project without your critiques. I've said it before, but I made a note of every critique you and others made and whenever I decide to do another adventure story, I'll apply those to the story. You were a great help to making it better and I genuinely appreciate your input on it, even if it had quite a few misses.

>what hit you with burn out while you were near the end of your story?

Some real life stuff. My current life is going through a lot of change right now (not all of it bad, but it's a lot of change) and the pressure definitely got to me. Writing is something that makes me truly happy and when I can't be satisfied with my work, it throws me for a bit of a loop and I lost steam. That and the fact that I was working on it nonstop for like four months lol. I enjoyed it, but it's nice to finally finish it off.

And again, thank you. I truly appreciate you taking the time to give thoughtful critiques. It made the story far, far better because of it and hopefully, the next will be all the better if I can apply those from start to end.

>> No.62038917

>>62038161
okay so, selen is pissed about not getting into the niji sanrio collab, and she might take it out on pomu
also she accidentally knocked pomu off the table that's all

>> No.62039485
File: 258 KB, 1061x1500, 1683763967550693.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62039485

>>62038639
>Torn between Ayame and Fubuki
Why not both? I'm not making myself choose and you shouldn't make yourself either. I'm glad you thought I was helpful, I was just reading what you put out there and giving my thoughts. As for the burn out, we all get hit with changes through our lives, and that's alright. We sometimes don't have all the time we would like to do the things we like, but in that regard, it's alright to write what we can when we can. Even if it's just a couple hundred words a day, it's still progress we should all be proud of. I can understand the feeling that a story can weigh on you as it goes unprogressed, but we need to keep our most important tool as pristine and refreshed as it can be; ourselves. Everyone can tackle burnout in a different way, but I think cutting ourselves slack when we need to is universally helpful.

>> No.62039829

>>62036736
>fake text message screenshots
Wait, so you're telling me the author didn't actually talk to Asuka???

>> No.62040476

>>61892176
Marine gets a futa dick, however its a normal one with a male refractory period, meaning its completely at odds with her female libido

>> No.62041262
File: 22 KB, 595x293, mori.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62041262

>>62032249

>> No.62041475

>>62037999
NTA but you're very kind for giving such lengthy and thoughtful feedback. Of course everyone is hopefully writing chiefly for themselves but there are hopes that come with publishing something. As someone who is both busy and more of a writer than a reader, I feel bad for not honoring the effort of others with more feedback or appreciation than I already do. You're really picking up the slack for me and many others here because without fanfiction and talk about it current /wg/ would be a lore+horni crossover thread, and past /wg/ would be a chuuba abuse general eventually banished from /vt/. Of course talking about the fanfiction is not as important as writing it, but it's also much easier to do. It's sad when an author is passionate about their work but is rarely honored with a response longer than a few words even on publication.

>> No.62041958

>>62041262
Now I want a fanfic where the chuubas check out the /wg/ archive

>> No.62042348

>>62038161
Nice comma splice, bro.

>> No.62042692

>>62041262
I think fake screenshots would be an interesting gimmick for a fic. Like it can't be the whole of it since "livetweeting" everything stretches suspension of disbelief but like as a side thing it could be like those fake 4chan posts in "The Cover Job".

>> No.62042776

>>62042692
i think i remember someone here writing a bunch of "search history" stuff but i cant seem to find it in the archive.
Does it ring any bells to someone else?

>> No.62043111
File: 3.54 MB, 2894x4853, 1684926357389095.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62043111

>>62041475
I don't do all that much. I just try to read through things when I can and give my thoughts. I'll admit I don't give everything the same treatment since there are some story topics and beats that don't really appeal to me, but if its a genre I can stomach, I'll try to give it a chance. Also, don't feel bad about your own efforts. We all do stuff in our own way and have our own methods for showing appreciation and our thoughts. It's all about having fun after all, it's a great hobby.

>> No.62043400

>>62042776
There was also FacelessDegenerates where the author made a really cool website thing, and it was full of forum posts from chuubas
As for the search history stuff, I remember that too. I think the author of that one ran out of ideas, but it was funny as all hell

>> No.62044330

Odds that Shiorin posts here?

>> No.62044460

>>62044330
Above 0

>> No.62044469

>>62044330
It's always 50/50, anon

>> No.62044556
File: 237 KB, 529x416, 1698342102069444.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62044556

>>62044330

>> No.62045054

>>62042776
I think that was the one that had a "Survive" joke where AZKi posts about her favorite digimon game.
>>62043400
Oh man, Faceless Degenerates was really good at imitating that theoretical sketchy small internet forum. Especially with the formatting giving it that extra touch.
Though it's probably one of those things where the gimmick is so high effort you have to center the story around it.

>> No.62045598
File: 468 KB, 2048x2048, 1687530100169133.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62045598

>>61892111
Soft as Lion's Fur

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSJv3SmrjlY-0yn9ss-Eh8Y5Ya3c5wFZTp2Xjd80301M2MUr5LtYX5t0QzMPfwgTD59lbeVAmGP-eXB/pub

tags: fluff, (you), Shishiro Botan, failed pregnancy, feels, romance

>> No.62045977

>>62044330
AA is Shiori. And, as such, we should congratulate her by sending Shiori cum tributes to AA's email

>> No.62046275

>>62043400
>>62045054
yeah that's the one!. was it never archived? i remember Matsuri had a "get that ass banned" joked and some of the "banned" jokes were great

>> No.62046515

>>62046275
>Mio
>Banned from 'Cougar's association'. Reason: Spam.
>Korone
>Ascended to admin in RetroGames forum
>Banned from RetroGames forum. Reason: Abuse of power.
>Noel
>Banned from 'Looking for babysitters'. Reason: Repeated offender.
I had some mighty keks with that one. Really wish the author would've archived it.

>> No.62047130

>>62046275
I think the author never had it archived since it was incomplete (and if I remember it right) they were losing steam at coming up with more jokes.
Wish they did though. I feel like greentexts don't have to be complete they just have to be funny and or substantial enough that it's something people would want to come back to.

>> No.62047345
File: 372 KB, 640x480, oh shit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62047345

it feels so weird to go out, come back and the thread to be talking about my dumb fic.
hey so...i huh... i said i was gonna clean it up for the contest but...i ...

okay i forgot. i finished noel's entry and then pretty much forgot about it until like, two minutes ago.
Maybe ill finish it if i have time, since ADVENT really ignited a fire on me. Ill just post the rest of the noel entry and leave you guys

>Shirogane Noel
>Banned from “In search of babysitters” forum. Reason: Repeated offender
>Posted a 1* review in “Reinforced K-cup Bra” : “does not work”
>Added “BOY_PARK2_BATHROOM” to “WORK STUFF” and updated security copy. Size: 20 TB
>Banned from “Danksouls” Forums. Reason: Harassing Dex users


Thanks for remembering, i had a lot of fun with it

>> No.62047397
File: 1.24 MB, 1280x710, botanlook.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62047397

>>62045598
This was a cute little read. I'll say you got Botan's playful and goading nature when it comes to sex pretty down. The gradual progression of the attempts and the responses to them was pretty well done. It was ultimately a sweet little piece that showcases how a positive partner can be the light someone needs the most when it comes to tragedy outside their control. There were a few grammatical errors here and there, so maybe another pass at proofreading and edits is needed. For instance I think you meant to say "sweet" during one of the sex scenes instead of "sweat". I don't think it was your intent for anyone to fap to those scenes, but if it was, you'd want them to be longer. Overall, I liked it, and it was cute. Nice work bro. You're also inspiring me to soldier on in my own story to reach eventual lioness breeding.

>> No.62047471

>>62047345
>Banned from “Danksouls” Forums. Reason: Harassing Dex users
pfft

>> No.62048081

>>62047397
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm glad I was able to capture Botan's essence so well.

>I don't think it was your intent for anyone to fap to those scenes,

yeah, the sex was sort of secondary to the whole thing. I wanted some fan service but the ultimate point was the fluff and the grief.

>Overall, I liked it, and it was cute.

Thanks so much! I'm so glad it came out well. And I look forward to your lioness breeding story. Never too much of that.

>> No.62049690

>>62045598
okay i have some things to say
It reads like im being slapped with the info, its constantly going and it doesnt stop, so the scenes stretch into infinity. This is at its worst near the ending where apparently your backyard is some gigantic pond you can just walk into from the bathroom. You should try and dress up the scene a bit more and break it down so time flows naturally.
The drug stuff took me out really hard. Its a personal preference but if you are going with a realistic setting (AKA: triying pregnancy when your time is running out), introducing a miracle cure undermines the setting quite a bit.
The dialogue, however, was quite nice. You captured Botan really well, and though some of the conversations didnt fully land, its a great skill.
I liked the concept and idea you had, while the execution wasnt the best, i do think you can polish these mistakes in future fics/a rewrite of this. You have good ideas, so you should hone them

>> No.62050299

>>62049690
>It reads like im being slapped with the info, its constantly going and it doesnt stop, so the scenes stretch into infinity. This is at its worst near the ending where apparently your backyard is some gigantic pond you can just walk into from the bathroom. You should try and dress up the scene a bit more and break it down so time flows naturally.

I'm not sure entirely what you mean by this. I get how the last scene was a bit confusing from a layout perspective, but do you mean that it's like an info dump, tell instead of show?

>The dialogue, however, was quite nice. You captured Botan really well, and though some of the conversations didnt fully land, its a great skill.

I'm glad you think so. I don't often write short fluff pieces like this so that's probably why it's a little rough around the edges. I just need practice I guess. I've been told I often struggle with conciseness

>> No.62050643

>>61994579
This could be a great comedy depending on the supporting cast.
>You bowl through the door, as Anya, Reine and Ollie give you confused looks
>"Hey! I know im a shitty womanizer so im just going mask off. I slept with all of you, any bun in those ovens?"
>"You did my butt while screaming UNLIMITED CUM WORKS!"
>You wince, seems like Anya wasnt as drunk as you remember
>"Reine? im sure i nutted thrice with you"
>"what the fuck are you talking about? we didnt had sex"
>oh right
>You put a hand around your throat, project your voice and speak
>"Kikeriki! i love reine!"
>Reine gasps
>"IT WAS YOU?!"
>"Reine, Kiara doesnt have a dick, of course it was me"
>"I- I THOUGHT IT WAS A REALLY GOOD DILDO"
>you shake your head and look at Ollie
>"anything?"
>With a sickening squelch, Ollie's hand penetrates her stomach, a disgusting squelch follows her hand as it digs in her innnards. Anya pukes and Reine faints as Ollie absently murmurs
>"last night pasta...a kidney stone...oh That's where my figure went...Nope, no kiddo here"
>"Gotcha. Thanks girls"

>> No.62051412

>>62050643
>"Reine, Kiara doesnt have a dick, of course it was me"
Kek

>> No.62051707

>>62050299
>I'm not sure entirely what you mean by this
For example, when you first leave the house and say "i love you" to botan, the next paragraph is a different day, but it confuses the reader

>You broke the embrace and began to leave, only for Botan to grip your wrist.

“Wait.” she said

“Yeah?”

She paused, smiling at you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Botan.”

You went downstairs and began to cook some eggs and bacon, waiting around twenty minutes for her to join you. Judging from her expression, you could tell the result was not positive.

In this part, you could refer to it being another day...or how time has passed. It makes the reader do a double pass and question themselves by going "huh? did i miss something?".

>> No.62052246

>>62050643
I feel like there's two routes for this. Either focusing on the absurd comedy and have an anticlimax where the original pregnancy test was actually from a male coworker that discovered they have ball cancer or a sudden turn into drama with the last girl/s as you finally connect the dots on who it could be from.

>> No.62052474

>>62051707
Not that author, but the part you refer to has its scene start off stating that is the next morning. While I can agree that maybe some formatting could help visualize the separation of scenes and time a little better. It was pretty easy to follow for me at least. I can agree with one of your other points that maybe the scenery could use a bit more flowering though. Maybe just a little extra description of the surrounding pathways at the ending scene. It might be a good time to show how you have to lead Botan through the walk and how her eyes seem to be blank to the world around her.

>> No.62053413
File: 1.16 MB, 1080x1036, amogus.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62053413

>>62052246
at the risk of blowing a twist (like it always happen lel), my idea for it would be
>scale it down to one branch (in this case,i pick EN)
>have Anon, the shitty womanizer, try and feel who he got pregnant by bringing up innocent baby talk
>suddenly, all the girls start gushing out. seems like Babies are a hot topic
>someone brings cheating up and the consensus is "castration"
>Anon has to go girl to girl triying to guess who is the perpetrator, all while covering his ass
>He just cant figure it out, specially since his sleeping around backfires and all the girls seem to have caught feelings
>and these feelings come with the girls baggage and mental illness
HE's given a timeframe, and when he's running out of time he confesses he was cheating on all of them. The perpetrator comes out (Mumei) and says that she just wanted him to admit to itWith the twist being that everyone is pregnant

>> No.62054198

>>62053413
I mean if you're going for a smaller scale story like that I feel like the better twist would be They were all in on it, this entire incident was a way to force (You) to be an honest man or lock you in a room with all of them and they can all "correct" you personally.

>> No.62054603
File: 688 KB, 850x1307, yandere bae.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62054603

>>62053413
>Fauna starts going on weird tangents about how her three perfect daughters, who will have her hair and your eyes, will NOT go to sunday school. This is reinforced by vines slowly creeping up your legs
>Fuwawa is all smiles but the second mococo turns around she attempts to slice your throat or nail you with a knife, clearly having lost it at the idea of sharing
>Bae has names, clothes, activities and even break days picked up for the kids. Asian parenting has broken her
>Mori is having extreme mood swings and suicidal tendencies because her lovely daughter will NOT grow without a dad
I want more deranged landmine romance, and this post has fueled that desire

>> No.62054878

>>62054603
Not him, but I fucking LOVE deranged landmine romances

>> No.62054961
File: 180 KB, 828x1792, Yandere_Mori.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62054961

>>62054603
The idea of a menhera yandere harem has been stewing in my mind for a while now. God that's so hot

>> No.62055261

>>62054878
Don't stick your dick in crazy anon

>> No.62055435
File: 186 KB, 542x479, Schizo Bae.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62055435

>>62054961
A menhera harem would be delicious because you could explore several angles
>Bae's clingyness
>Mori's desire to be your number one
>Mococo's devotion
>Bijou's energy channeled into YOU
>Shiori's deranged nature
>Kiara and her grooming
AAAAAAAAAAAAH I WANT HOT KNIFE-POINT MENHERA SEX! JAPANESE AUTHORS ARE COWARDS THAT TRY TO REDEEM THEM!
>>62055261
Live fast, die young, leave 6 children in the world while your wife gets sent to a padded cell.

>> No.62055647

>>62055261
I will be emotionally manipulated and pressured into beating the shit out of my oshi against my will, and I will love every second of it

>> No.62056873

>>62055435
>>62054961
A yandere menhera harem sounds like it would be a twist ending/reveal in a fic where you're trying to find out which one is crazy only to find out the menheras were all amogus all along.

>> No.62057593

>>62055435
>Gura suicide-baiting unless you're taking care of her(cooking, cleaning, doing her laundry, tucking her into bed, drawing a bath for her), other chuubas can pick up the slack a bit but she will get pissy and stop eating and bathing if (You) don't do it on occasion
>Kiara is one misstep on your end away from doing a 180 from the cutest and most doting wife to a screeching argumentative turbo-bitch
>Kronii expects you to put up with her tsundere narcissist shtick, and the instant you don't will go into the mother of all doomers, crying about how worthless she is and how you're right to hate her and how she should just go die
>Fuwawa gets really angry if you show any agency or don't listen to her often infantilizing demands/tips, Mococo is more sympathetic to you but is aimless without her sister and a massive snitch who will tattle if you try and be disobedient
>Shiori isn't restrictive in the slightest, but keeps meticulous track of everything you do wrong and will bombard you with 'punishments' and demands to make up for what you did
>Nerissa is publicly very confident and unabashed, always asking which girl's are your favourite and agreeing with you no matter what but as soon as you're alone she turns into a scorned crybaby who begs for you to prove that she's really the best
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>> No.62057879
File: 691 KB, 1264x711, robo wat.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62057879

you guys are weird

>> No.62058373

>>62057879
N-No, YOU'RE weird!

>> No.62059313

>>61892176
Fubuki abusing (you)

>> No.62059413

>>61892176
Lmfao shit

>> No.62059976

>>62059413
Kill yourself

>> No.62061072

>>62042348
Sorry I guess?

>> No.62064317
File: 34 KB, 720x617, 1683445591736947.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62064317

>> No.62064496

>>62045598
It could use some breathing room since the pace is lightning quick. Dialogue concludes/progresses too quickly and scenes change at the drop of a hat. I'd recommend putting more meat on the bones of this story since at the moment it almost feels like an abridged version of a more in-depth story.
With that said, it was still very cute. I liked the dynamic between the characters a lot.

>> No.62067539
File: 686 KB, 2237x1678, Watamerain.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62067539

>> No.62070641

>>61990831
Just the implication that you had sex with a lot of holomem as their colleague is already pretty hot. I like it.

>> No.62070797

>>62056873
Yeah but i also think the anon of that fix needs to be a bit deranged himself.
Someone a bit fucked up to keep up with the girls,since the one thing always ruining these kind of ideas is a goody 2 shoes mc

>> No.62070839

>>62070797
Exactly. Crazy attracts crazy

>> No.62070911

>>62070839
So are you sharing that aside from fwmc...some girls are up to share huh?
I like your words magic man

>> No.62070981

>>62070911
It is known that women are willing to share a guy they really really like, rather than have one dude they don't like as much all to themselves

>> No.62071395

>>62070797
I can see a couple options for having a crazy MC here.
>The you of the past was a complete scumbag that led these crazy girls on and led then to be worse now You (have amnesia/slided in from another timeline) and have to deal with the fallout.
>You are an unrepentant horndog, and all of these girls are like this because you indulged their worst parts in order to get in their skirts.

>> No.62071591

Okay, time to bake...

>> No.62071779

>>62071591 (me)
Alrighty, here it is:
>>62071607
>>62071607
>>62071607

>> No.62071802
File: 81 KB, 600x900, UOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
62071802

Forgot to attach pic but oh well

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