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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers


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61095507 No.61095507 [Reply] [Original]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. Check the archives below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!

Collective works so far are available in the archive:
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>"Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction?"
Yes.

Previous thread: >>60946049 (where there was much ado about Big Mori and bestiality, Roberu becoming your one true love in the end, and something about how Watame could cause a watermelon apocalypse)
/wg/ rentry (for bakers): https://rentry.org/wgrentry/

>> No.61095526
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61095526

Story anchor.
Reply to this post if you got a story to tell.

>> No.61095544
File: 1.21 MB, 1000x865, the prompt bounty board.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61095544

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

>> No.61095614
File: 172 KB, 1024x873, flare and the rest of gen 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61095614

Story recap!
There were 2 stories posted last thread.

Anon and Roboco's Special Day Greentext >>61030148
Tags: NSFW, Greentext, Roboco, Vanilla

Suichan Wants Ringo Greentext >>61041113
Tags: Comedy, Ringo, Suisei, Schizo

>> No.61095773

Flare my beloved...

>> No.61096807
File: 1.58 MB, 1649x2332, Flaregun.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61096807

I still wonder what ever happened to the anon writing first summer memories...

>> No.61098102

Dramaniggers are so good at writing fiction, they should put their skills to good use in /wg/ instead.

>> No.61099167

>>61098102
They might if they felt like they'd get more attention here
To be clear I don't want drama here but it's still a shame how little attention a lot of the posted works get. At this point I feel bad for my past self posting in /wg/ regularly but rarely giving feedback to/appreciating fics

>> No.61099342

>>61099167
You know you can still give appreciation/feedback to old fics you read/reread. It may be shouting into the void and hoping for a response but you never know, the anon that wrote that fic could be here and appreciate getting acknowledged.

>> No.61099499

>>61098102
nah. one in every 100 dramaniggers writes something and the rest runs with it to the end of the time.
To this day i still see
>Towa is a whore
>Suisei le...collabed wth male?!
>Mori is reclining, graduation any day!
>Kiara is reclining, graduation any day!
>[ID girl of the week] COLLABED WITH A MALE, PURGE THE BRANCH AAAAAAAAAAA
>whatever nijisanji is up to
>Bae has sex with the homostars
>Pekora hates cover
oh and when they get called out on being catalog readers they bust out either "SHE'S UGLY" or "SHE'S A WHORE" and post doxx

>> No.61099900

>>61099167
eh i'd rather have a good critique/ interesting discussion rather than just a generic "i cum"
Threads have slowed down a bit since we purged a lot of shitposters, who also inflated those discussions by being inflammatory

>> No.61100502

All that "a silent voice but with Aqua" makes me think that if it ever DID get written, she'd get blueballed by one of her friends or god forbid, her mother Marine..
Poor, poor Aqua,

>> No.61100575
File: 3.03 MB, 2810x4127, 101607711_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61100575

>>61100502
>Rrat!Ayame cucks Aqua again
How does she keep doing it!?

>> No.61100608

>>61100575
I didn't know Ayame was Aqua's friend?

>> No.61101126
File: 1.08 MB, 2001x2828, 4591fb16c19667b583a6b0114bcd1420.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61101126

>>61100575
>Anon finally manages to make Aqua forgive him
>Aqua suddenly feels weird
>The presence of Anon makes him feel all warm and fuzzy
>"Well, anyway, I'm gonna go tell my girlfriend that we made up."
>"...w-wait what? Your g-girlfriend?"
>"Yeah, Ayame. Didn't I tell you?"
>Aqua hates Anon again

>> No.61101279

>>61100608
And I just want to add that if >>61050632 DID get written and (You) in the story did genuinely make Aqua forgive you, things like romance wouldn't happen because at the end of the day, Aqua isn't "liked" on this thread enough to warrant it and she is made just to be blueballed.

God I HATE when people bring up good prompts but nothing comes out of it because its of a character they don't like. I bet it WOULD get picked up if it was of a character they DID like.

>> No.61101441

>>61101279
What the fuck are you talking about?

>> No.61101510

>>61100608
They have the genmate bond, and were pretty close during the Manjigumi days. They haven't talked on stream recently, though.
I think that Anon was referencing what happens in Our Cures.

>> No.61101567

>>61101441
I'm talking about how an interesting prompt won't get picked up because it involves Aqua and if it DID get picked up, any hint of romance will get ignored for a more "favourable" girl.

Now if the prompt involved someone they DID like (ie: Suisei as the mc), I'm almost certain an anon would consider the idea and add it to their WIPs foir later.

>>61101510
Oh I know what he was referencing, anon, I just wasn't aware that "a silent voice" ended with the mc going for "another" girl instead of the main female lead.

>> No.61101596

>>61101279
Well, if I did write it myself (but I probably won't, it's a pretty heavy premise and I'm better suited for more whimsical stuff) I'd go for the Aqua romance route since I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.
t. prompter

>> No.61101627

>>61101126
Okay unrelated, but for some reason this makes me remember that "Aqua is your autistic slampig you fuck on the side that wants to be your 'real' girlfriend" prompt.
Makes me imagine this "silent voice but with aqua" idea being done via the unhealthy coping mechanism of copious amounts of sex between the two of you that emotionally climaxes with Aqua raping you with her retard strength until you become her boyfriend.

>> No.61102044

>>61101567
I still don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Aqua has more stories than half of the JP holos here, and I don't get where your claim is coming from. When has that happened in the past? Not picking up a prompt is one thing, but unless it's specifically an NTR story I don't think anyone has randomly shoved aside the heroine that got majority of the focus for another random girl just because she wasn't "favoured by the thread".

>> No.61102238
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61102238

>>61100502
>>61100575
>>61101126
Onyan...

>> No.61102244

>>61102044
The closest thing to that happening (that I can think of at least) is Fubuki taking over as menhera wrangler's main plot over the Holo of the week plot it was having every chapter, and even then that's not even close to what they're describing.

>> No.61102254

>>61095544
In the spirit of halloween, i think we should have a fic where a girl pisses herself or fails to hold her piss in

>> No.61102747
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61102747

>>61102254
I don't think that's very spooky, Anon...

>> No.61102839

>>61102747
what do you mean? imagine watching a spooky movie, which makes your gf afraid of going to the bathroom until its a must.
but she doesnt know you were planning a small scare to celebrate the spirit of halloween, so you scare her in the hallway and the floodgates open

>> No.61102958

>>61102839
>urge to put more piss scenes in my script increases

>> No.61103040

>>61102839
my favorite is when the girl holds it desperately until she goes "ah" and then it all comes out at once.
bless those steam clouds some artists draw
>>61102958
please do

>> No.61103078

>>61102958
Still undecided on making the ending scene for the sequel a piss orgy?

>> No.61103237

>>61103078
I've got a potential end planned, but it's a stretch and I'm hesitant. Think I'll just put a little piss fansa in. Just a couple scenes. Maybe a few.

>> No.61103338

>>61102839
Respect. I've said this before but while I'm not a fan of drinking piss, smelling piss, or getting hit with piss (and any other forms of coming into contact with piss), I find it incredibly hot if a girl gets embarrassed from peeing herself.

>> No.61103781
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61103781

>>61103338
i thinks its the same feeling the fauna fart guy has. A girlcompletely losing control of her body has a charm , specially the erotized version which has this really strong buildup to a faux orgasm

>> No.61104130
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61104130

>>61095544
I personally strongly feel that Suisei belongs to ojisans that stink of cigarettes and alcohol
>Ojisan!Anon is watching a baseball game in a sports bar
>Ojisan!Anon goes for a smoke outside the bar
>"What a shit season it's been, glad it's soon over..."
>A girl come out of a izakaya next-door and Ojisan!Anon notices that it's Hoshimachi Suisei
>"Oh, it's that internet girl that my good-for-nothing NEET son worships."
>Ojisan!Anon stars bantering with Suisei about how only lame nerds with mushrooms growing out of their armpits watch her
>After a while Suisei, in a surprise to even herself, starts warming up to Ojisan!Anon's rugged charm and sharp tongue
>"...wanna play with Sui-chan tonight, ojisan?"
>[Absolutely furious sex in a love hotel]
>"Let's play again someday, ojisan."
>Ojisan!Anon comes back home and sees his son taking out a new bottle of cola from the fridge
>"You know, that Suisei gal ain't so bad after all, son."

>> No.61104601

>>61102044
What I'm trying to tell you is this: if a prompt has a girl /wg/ doesn't like then it won't be picked up. if it DOES have a girl that they like then it will be picked up (or at least added to the WIP pile).

>>61102244
Author of that story shouldn't have made Fubuki the main heroine of that story then. Though I guess that's why he made the ending a bittersweet one because he didn't like how people were moaning how Fubuki and "magic" were hogging all the spotlight.

>> No.61105063

>>61104601
Anon... You do realize there's only like two dozenish writers here at most (being generous) with like half of those being thread regulars already committed to writing something else, right?

>> No.61105175

>>61105063
Probably, yeah. But I "think" it doesn't change my view on what gets picked up or not does it?
I don't even know why I'm being a little bitch about it to begin with. I could have like "not" kicked up a big stink about it.... yet I did.
Feel free to do the honourable thing and report me. God knows I need a few days break from doing a "balsa".

>> No.61105493

>>61104601
Ok, and what I'm trying to tell you is this: /wg/ doesn't dislike Aqua. You also still haven't told me where you got the idea that someone would write about a random girl becoming the romantic interest in a story that focused entirely on another heroine.

>Author of that story shouldn't have made Fubuki the main heroine of that story then
?
I'm not the author but Fubuki's role in the spotlight was good for that story. It helped create an overarching narrative while still presenting a new girl every chapter or so. Fubuki's involvement also allowed for that tragic ending to be written, which wouldn't have nearly had as much impact had she not been the main partner for the MC.
And as the other Anon said, it's a completely different scenario to what you're claiming will happen when a girl "isn't favoured by the thread". It's not like Menhera Wrangler focused solely on one girl and gave her all the development, then suddenly shoved her aside to create a romantic route with Fubuki. All the girls were getting their stories in (somewhat) equal measure until Fubuki started getting more development and became the heroine for the remainder of the story.

>> No.61105616

Is it schizo hours? Why does he keep doing “THIS”?

>> No.61105754
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61105754

I just like writing about cute vtuber girls, big or small. If I like them, I'll likely want to write about them someday, like pic related. She's a cute racoon witch.
I'm secretly looking forward to when I get to include lesser known vtubers in the tags and for someone to go "Literally who?". WELL I'm so glad you asked!

>> No.61105792

>>61105493
>You also still haven't told me where you got the idea that someone would write about a random girl becoming the romantic interest in a story that focused entirely on another heroine.
Are you telling me that "a silent voice" didn't have any forms of "romance" hinted in it? if not then I am genuinely surprised because while the beginning of that story had bullying in it, it also had the mc feeling remorseful for his actions and wanting to "make it up" with the girl he bullied. I felt that if a story like that was made but the bullied girl in question wad Aqua, there would be a high percent that if romance was involved, Aqua wouldn't be the winning girl.

And talking about the MW bit, I thought one of the reasons why people didn't like it was because (You) in the story didn't get a happy end right at the ending? That and some folk when they left reviews didn't like how Fubuki stole the spotlight and had to always save (You) from character's like Polka.

>> No.61105945

>>61105792
Also its >>61102244 fault for bringing up MW in the first place.

>> No.61106321

>>61105792
I don’t get what A Silent Voice has to do with your claims of pseudo-NTR plot lines in /wg/‘s stories, but there are themes of romance in it and the girl with the most development is closest to the MC by the end.

>And talking about the MW bit
Ok, if people didn’t like it that’s fine. But again, what the fuck does that have to do with what you were saying before?

I’m going to stop replying now, because you’re just spouting random shit at this point and we’ve derailed the thread enough. I genuinely don’t get what you were trying to do here or what the fuck you were talking about.

>> No.61106612

I like Aqua because she is a short autist that plays Apex well and makes cute noises. Her big breasts and butt also help.

>> No.61107661

Anyone cooking something Niji related? lately i have been on the mood to read some nijis

>> No.61107697

>>61105754
Is the real reason it's called holojourneys is because it takes place inside of a Hollow Earth?

>> No.61107771

>>61106612
Same bro. It might be fun to write about how she's a lay that happens because people around you try to get you two to fuck, likely for Aqua's own benefit in the context I'm thinking.
>Anon is unsure about this at first, Aqua is kinda dumb, she's garbage at being a maid, and just kinda takes up space and eats a lot of the group's provisions.
>Some of the girls mention how Aqua has been "curious" about love making, and maybe she just needs a strong man to help her shape up, use the D as positive reinforcement they say
>Have to traverse Aqua's unique autism and seduce her in a way that she doesn't have an utter meltdown and lock herself in the broom closet again
>The ass and tit game are absolutely insane though

>> No.61107909

>>61107771
The group used to bet money and snacks on card games until Aqua started ruining the fun by winning all the time.

>> No.61107918
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61107918

>>61107697
Nah, the earth has a normal core like you would expect, which reminds me that I wanna have the journey take them to an underground setting of some sort eventually. Subterranean settlements kick ass.

>> No.61107979

>>61107918
Subaterranean settlements

>> No.61108078

>>61107661
>>61095544
Throwing in my request of Pomu losing a bet and becoming your personal onahole

>> No.61108231
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61108231

>>61107909
That's a fun idea. I planned to show off how between adventures and the like, the girls just being friends with one another and doing stuff like card and drinking games to pass the time. The appreciation for quiet time in between adventures is something I've always found very wholesome and uplifting.

>> No.61108324
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61108324

>>61107918
Perhaps it can be where we find a couple of sexy demon blondes.
I mean, hey, it's called the UNDERworld, isn't it?

>> No.61108350

>>61108078
Human sized pomu or fairy sized?

>> No.61108902
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61108902

>>61108324
Oh we're gonna find those two, don't you worry. That's been on the roadmap for a while.
>Through common circumstances Anon is trapped alone with two demon ladies who are ordered to spill his blood
>Maybe using his words will actually work this time
>Instead of swords, you'll use a magic of a variety that's below the belt
>Get taken to a extravagant love hotel style room and break the mattress there with these two ladies
>Post victory sex has always been great, but victory resulting from sex is a new high.

>> No.61109314

>>61108902
I thought the plan for Anon to get blueballed after convincing them they deserve each other instead?

>> No.61109355
File: 1.05 MB, 1216x2046, 1681964215203868.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61109355

>>61109314
Mel can't revive choco's eggs, but I can.

>> No.61110624

>>61099900
Why not both? Call me gay or whatever but if I'm writing smut it's a strong compliment that someone else felt like jerking off to it. Feedback and discussion are best but just telling someone whose story you enjoyed that they did a good job is already a good deed
>>61099342
Very much agreed

>> No.61111024

>>61107918
This but the chapter is vapid and short and the MC goes "Well, that was a Hollow Journey(s)"

>> No.61111311

>>61104601
>if a prompt has a girl /wg/ doesn't like then it won't be picked up. if it DOES have a girl that they like then it will be picked up (or at least added to the WIP pile).
You're being very black-and-white and collectivist about it. What is happening is that individual authors all have their preferences on which chuubas to write (based on various factors), and all those preferences together influence the overall amount of fics chuubas get.
I don't see how any of this surprising or worth complaining about, especially when everyone is free to contribute.

>> No.61112570
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61112570

>> No.61113369
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61113369

>>61095544
Your horny chuuba younger sister sneaking into your bedroom for sex early in the morning ebfore your parents wake up

>> No.61113660 [SPOILER] 
File: 174 KB, 1057x1057, 1644662933816.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61113660

>>61113369
I'll do you one better
>your horny chuuba younger sister sleeping with you every night because nobody properly instilled in you the boundaries non-blood related siblings should have

>> No.61115664
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61115664

>>61105754
You make me wanna write Raki, but I'm already working on something (holo-centric of course) and I don't have enough motivation for multiple wips at once. Or I'll just have her cameo in the holo-centric fic.

>> No.61115860
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61115860

>>61115664
Hey new raki pic, thanks bro. Also don't worry about it, Raki can wait since she would be feel bad if you troubled yourself over her.
>Spoiler
A unity bro after my own heart. I'll be doing just that as well.

>> No.61116362
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61116362

Question about writing anal stuff, especially things like rimming:
Do people find it necessary(or, at the least, more enjoyable) for there to be a line about the girl's butt being clean, or is it just assumed that it's clean without being stated?
Following that, if there IS a line, should there also be an explanation as to why the girl cleaned it, or is it ok to simply leave it as "it's clean because it is"?

>> No.61116518

>>61116362
Cleaning your anus is not really something I want to read about. Write it in a way that makes it clear that there's a time skip before the anal sex.

>> No.61116641

>>61116518
Sorry, not what I meant. I wouldn't describe the cleaning process at all, but say that the scene calls for anal being a sudden, unexpected development. Does it necessitate an explanation for "why does the girl keep her butt clean"?

>> No.61118505

>>61116641
Id say is does not anon. That's the kind of thing that is assumed to be the case unless the contrary is stated.

>> No.61118664

>>61099342
i second this.

>> No.61119168

>>61099342
I usually respond but there are some authors that have shed their mortal coil.

>> No.61120231

>>61116362
If there's no shit to be smelled, felt or seen it's obvious that the butt was clean. That it was actively cleaned should only be included if it contributes to the plot beyond answering a potential question.

>> No.61120282
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61120282

>>61118505
>>61120231
Got it. Cheers, fellas.

>> No.61120486

>>61116641
One way to do it in a subtle way is to have Anon say just before the butt stuff something like "Okay, I'm gonna go for it" (or something a bit more romantic) and have the the girl nod or something. It implies that it's something they've agreed to beforehand and prepared for it. I always try to cut as much extra fat like that as possible so that the story doesn't get lost in the weeds.

>> No.61121006

>>61120486 (me)
>"Okay, I'm gonna go for it" (or something a bit more romantic)
It's my own post but after reading this again all I can think of is Mario's HERE WE GO
Maybe it could be a plot point that the protagonist is good at imitating Mario

>> No.61121359

Imagine Aqua calling your phone. How would you describe that situation?
Onion rings.

>> No.61121496

>>61121359
I am so fucking autisitc about talking to people on the phone it would be like three minutes of me going "H-helloo???" while she freezes up and then hangs up without saying anything and I'm worried that it's a stalker

>> No.61121566

>>61121496
Um...I wasn't actually asking you to describe that situation. It was just a setup for the joke answer I posted.

>> No.61122327
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61122327

>>61121566
>imagine a group of writers NOT describing the situation
Not sure what you expected bro.

>> No.61123023
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61123023

Well reader-kuns newfag is back with some more fanfic. Time to give life to a dumb idea i got by accidentally mixing prompts. Will it please two anons? Or neither? Who knows, all i know its that i found, so its worth a try.

'Keep it a secret'

>Be (you)
>work for covercorp
>be remote working intern
>Talent from the company got c19, and you had an extra room. Volunteered to offer quarantine them, as you leave nearby quarters.
>Turns out the talent in question is Laplus.
>You barely have energy to keep up with your work, let alone care for a child. Interaction is kept at a minimum.
>Two weeks fly by, and outside of the night coughing that annoyed you the first days, you dont really think much of it at all.
>The last day in question starts, and you get up to go in the kitchen, messy hair, eyebags and all to make youself some nice coffee.
>Hear some noice upstairs, probably Darkness readying herself to leave already.
>Go back to your room, just to find her greeting you with her smug smile. Looks a lot more livelier than the day she made it here.
>'Good morning loser~' She says, looking at you with phone in hand.
>'Leaving already?' You ask, unphased by her teasing.
>'Not really doing so until i give you a lesson.' She replies back with a frowm. 'You did not take care of me at all, you worthless bastard.'
>'I could not.' You excuse. 'You had a very contagious illness'
>'I dont care' The entitled brat insists. 'Some nice food and some words of kindness would have made the cut. You did nothing and i will make sure you pay for it.'
>The gray haired girl approaches you, showing a picture of your wardrobe. She snuck her panties in it and took a photo of it.
>'I'm sure the moment this image runs around you will be done for life.' She smirked as she talks. 'Woudnt want that, would you?'
>Her hand caressed your groin, pulling the zip of your pants down. Her fingers slipped in, pulling your underwear to reveal your dick. Your blood runs cold...
>Her curious eyes widen as she contemplates it, her hand pulling the skin gently. She tilts, taking a taste of your gland.
>'Not bad for someone so pathetic-looking' She remarks, still smiling. It feels good, but you can't let yourself be blackmailed by a literal child.
>'Hunnngh... It tastes and smells very strong...' She describes. You are getting turned on, and its showing...
>'Why even do this to me as punishment?' You question.
>'Heh.' Her cocky laugh is audible, even as she gets the tip on her mouth. 'I was just curious how this all was like. Commiting to a full on relationship just to experience sex is too much. Might as well extort an idiot and get a taste of what i am losing on.' She says, pushing your cock further inside her mouth. You can't help yourself but grab her hindhead, plunging your phallus on her throat.
>The girl gags, but goes along. You can see her hesitance on letting you take the lead, as she tries to mumble with her mouthful, but it's all unintelligible. She frowns once more, but does not resist further than grabbing your wrist.
>Her tongue dances around the base of the penis, and she tilts her head slightly, taking the thrusts on the mouth. You can see it push on her cheeks...
>'Haaaagh...~ D-do not mess with me...' She threatens, taking your ballsack. Her thumb caresses the inbetween... It's really hot, but you can't take chances.
>As quick as you can, youtake her hand and get her up, slamming her against the desk.
>'Owwww! H-hey, careful! I was just teasing you, idiot virgin!' She screams. 'You will be so fucked the moment i...' A gasp escapes her mouth. The feeling of your cock sliding against her genitals shouts her mouth. She had not put her panties back, and the view of her pinky pussy leaking fluids was too much, you coudn't help it...
>'D-don't you dare get rough on me! I have a ride to take home. If i can't sit...' She pleas. There was some really erotic about her just assuming and accepting the fact that she was going to be penetrated. It was time to make her pay back.
>'N-no! Not there!' Her voice cracks at the feeling of your creeping cock between her buttocks. You lubed it up just enough with her juices... The mere thought made you pant.
>Without hestitance you shove it all in her ass. Only half of it makes it in. An echoing scream resounds in the room, her insides squeezing your cock. You thrust hard, pushing the rest further. Her moans become desperate, her body devolving into spasms.
>'E-ENOUGH! YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK ME!' Her shaking legs emphasize her claim, but her face contradicts, as her tongue pulls out shamelessly and her eyes turn white.
>It gets more intense, and it only makes it worse. The very movements of your manlyhood are answered by her wholeness, with her neck elongating as the electric feeling of it all goes through her body. It quickly gives in, releasing her fluids into the floor. You follow alike, unable to resist the view, her body replying in kind as her insides contract.

>> No.61123419

>>61095526
>>61123023
>You look at the mess as you shove it out, her creampied anus releasing your load on her thighs. She tries to get up to no avail.
>'H-hmmmmgh... F-fuck, i asked you one thing...' She mutters, defeated, looking as you delete the incriminating picture in question. 'W-whatever...'
>'Happy now? Better go catch your ride.' You reply, smiling smugly. Looks like its a contagious kind of smile.
>'Y-yeah. Better get going...' She sighs, taking a moment in the bathroom to clean herself and put her underwear back.
>You give it some thought, and decide to do one good deed for her, taking her to the front of the corpo for her to go back home.
>'H-hey...' She whispers.
>'Hmh?'
>'You know... i have been needing a good Valorant coach. Know any?' She questions.
>'No clue.'
>'You are so fucking dense anon...' She rustles. 'Lets see eachother again. We didn't try vaginal just yet..'
>(You) agree to meet up sometime, and you let her go back home. You smile as you see her through the window struggle to get comfortable in the chair. Little did she know it was your first time too. It will be fun to have a go at it again...

>> No.61123431

>>61116362
If they're an idol in the setting of the fic and they go to idol meetings, then they don't poop and thus their buttholes are magically always clean
Otherwise, I assume they cleaned it before hand, or butthole cleaning magic

>> No.61124154

>>61123023
>>61123419
It's okay, I guess.
But please proofread your writing before posting or at the very least run it through a word processor. It's riddled with typos and fucked up grammar. Once the first bit of dialogue started, you completely forgot about the greentext format, so I don't see why the greentext was necessary at all. And as a bit of personal preference (I don't know if others would agree), double quotes would be much more readable than the single quotes.
Btw, did you know that Darknesss is written with 3 s'?

>> No.61124611
File: 239 KB, 463x454, pekosmile.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61124611

>>61124154
Hey anon! Thanks for taking the time to comment. Can't really defend the first point, It was a sporadic stroke of inspiration, so i ran in to type it all in. I have never been really used to getting it all in a white page like a note to write, i just kinda get it in place, fresh and baked. Its not really something i had considered, so i appreciate it greatly! As far as mistakes go, i had a bit of a slip with the word limit. Wanted to make it short, but ran into it. I put it in canvas as i elabotated, so i posted to keep going. I regretted it instantly as i read it myself... The action was all too short. Grammar is a literal 'i run the train as i build the road' as i am ESL. I use proofreaders on my native language, but for some reason i had not considered using english one, very obvious in retrospect.
Sorry to ask for more, but, what do you mean by me dropping the greentext format? It's the one thing i didn't quite get. Thanks a lot for the constructive feedback reader-kun! I will take your words to heart. (Even if i am a bit autistic with the making new habits part)

>> No.61124643
File: 3.67 MB, 640x480, 1686781390942705.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61124643

>>61124154
>Spoiler
Wait, it is? Even when they say "Yes my darkness?"

>> No.61125089

>>61124611
Just throw the text into grammarly, it should offer (mostly accurate) corrections for typos and general improvement suggestions for your prose.
>>61124643
The response to Laplus is "Yes my dark", not "Yes my darkness". But her name is Laplus Darknesss, with the extra chuuni 3 s at the end.

>> No.61125183

>>61124611
You need to take some english courses on duolingo. You don't shove something out and of course a cocky laugh would be audible, it's a laugh.

>> No.61125541

>>61084043
It has nothing to do with crazed menhera sex but I think runt of EN Gura and/or breakout star Kiara could be an interesting alt idea.
>without the constant pressure to excel, Gura never burns out from streaming
>she feels comfy with her small dedicated fanbase, excited to stream to them almost everyday, sharing whatever shitposts she saw online
>meanwhile Kiara, the pride of EN, becomes a real spoiled diva
>her ego inflates beyond reason, she looks down on everyone around her
>she analyzes spreadsheets for hours on end, trying to optimize streaming timezones, games, collab partners, anything to gain even more popularity
>watching numbers go up is like cocaine for her

>> No.61125819
File: 1.34 MB, 1080x1920, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61125819

Alt Watame is a cool bitch who takes no shit from anyone and has no claims punching people

>> No.61125893

>>61125819
And she really hates hairy, sweaty armpits.

>> No.61125901
File: 170 KB, 435x415, laplusmad.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61125901

>>61125183
anon what the fuck do you mean, it has a dick in its mouth. Try gargling in my balls and laughing, see if i hear it.

>> No.61126044
File: 9 KB, 225x225, 1694890827824084.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61126044

>>61125089
Noted. It's all set up now, i'm gonna use it in my next draft. The greentext part is still something i am curious though, clarifications appreciated.

>> No.61126389

>>61126044
NTA but greentext format usually means no full sentences, and not having multiple full sentences per line.
For example this line
>You barely have energy to keep up with your work, let alone care for a child. Interaction is kept at a minimum.
should be
>barely have energy to keep up with work, let alone care for a child
>keep interactions at a minimum.

I think you might do better just writing regular prose instead of greentexting. It comes across as more serious and intense, too.

>> No.61126611
File: 294 KB, 608x595, moonerhuh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61126611

>>61126389
OH i see i see. That was a very concise explanation, thank you very much! Regular prose is what i am used to, i would probably do better that way. But half curiosity half autism keeps me in. I will ponder further about moving to another format, although i am unsure how would i share it here if i do.

>> No.61126634
File: 191 KB, 1899x338, ebin black company monogatari.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61126634

I keep coming back to and thinking about one of my old prompts so I guess I just have to write it myself. If anyone has any recommended (factual or fictional) depictions corporate bullshit and conspiracies or any advice regarding that sort of stuff, I'm all ears. I might not respond immediately since it's pretty late for me already.

>> No.61126650

>>61126611
You can read about how to publish stories with rentry or google docs here: https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>> No.61127136

>>61125901
Try harder, esl-kun
>>61126634
Nintendo had Gunpei Yokoi killed before he could make Sega a handheld. South Korea is more or less controlled by chaebol like Samsung and LG Group. The first digital cameras were delayed so companies could keep making money off of film. That's all I can think of off the top of my head other than a bunch of satanic stuff. Basically, people will do anything to get richer. Hope this helps.

>> No.61127413
File: 88 KB, 250x250, 1698090820474094.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61127413

>>61127136
Is this a challenge? I am taking it.
On a lighter note, i am glad you read it all, even if you didnt like it. See you later reader-kun.

>> No.61127449

>wiki diving in general
>end in pomu's page
>Her fairy form is just 9cm tall
jesus fuck, a standard regular erect penis dwarfs her, that's so fucking hot

>> No.61127454

>>61127136
I started regretting that post a little bit since it's a bit like asking others to do your homework for you, but thanks! That sounds (genuinely) super fascinating and something that should be a big help. Massive bonus points for it being East Asian stuff.

>> No.61127783
File: 200 KB, 579x671, 1694524201394445.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61127783

>>61127449
She can get a lot done for someone so small.

>> No.61129682

>>61095544
You and your girlfriend, Matsuri, are in the habit of doing depraved shit. Quickies in public, sneaky sex, etc.
One night she brings over her friends. Suisei and Miko.
Drunk off your asses, Matsuri tells you to stand up and pulls your pants down, revealing your whore mangler to her friends. Everyone plays it off as a retarded joke and laughs. After Matsuri passes out and Miko goes to sleep, Suisei pokes you awake and asks if she can see your dick again. Lesbian correction ensues.

>> No.61130020
File: 264 KB, 1333x1883, 1697523322102627.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61130020

>>61127454
I figured you wanted East Asian stuff and a lot of western conspiracies mostly have to do with either satanic stuff or lobbying. Another one that came to my mind is the housing market in China. There are cities filled with empty apartment complexes because people use them as assets and don't live in them. I'll talk about conspiracies as long as someone listens so it's no big deal.

>> No.61133288
File: 743 KB, 850x1217, sample_574e29f7ce4525b09bd0fa1f86cefce4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61133288

Up you go!

>> No.61133764

>>61107661
Someone’s making a Niji VN but I think that’s about it.

>> No.61133773

>>61129682
It would be better if after Matsuri pulls down your pants she starts sucking your dick. And not wanting to be a bad host, you keep the conversation going with your guests despite how awkward it is. But when you're about to cum, Matsuri pulls her head away and it shoots across the room and splatters all over Miko who screams like a retard.

>> No.61133840

>>61133773
God that sounds fucking hilarious.

>> No.61134195

>>61125541
If we're still going by a pseudo-Real life setting for the alternates what about Anya
>Two mirrion
>Holy shit.
Though more seriously I think if we're thinking of alternate characterization, we kind of have to start coming at stuff from a more lore-based angle since only Suisei has the origin story to make an interesting alt off of her talent history.

>> No.61134683

>>61130020
How is a picture of Shiori's fat slappable ass relevant to conspiracy theories?

>> No.61135918

>>61134683
Someone is working against me to prevent me from smacking it

>> No.61138193

>>61121006
That sounds like a Korone shitpost where the first half seems like an anal fic taking it slow and describing the two preparing to do it... Then he "HERE WE GO" and the rest of the fic makes it clear the pov character was actually Mario Mario as the dialogue descends into Mario noises and Korone talking like she's doing an English only challenge.

>> No.61141652
File: 3.36 MB, 1900x3349, Lamy is ANGRY.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61141652

I

FUCKING

LOVE LAMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>> No.61142258
File: 1.16 MB, 1218x921, 1697297338769031.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61142258

>>61141652
Me too. Here she is with my sheep wife, and my lion wife. They're taking a relaxing breather while I go get more drinks.

>> No.61142411

>>61142258
This is surely not a futa artist who has drawn like 200 different scenarios where futa Botan has her way with genmates and Watame

>> No.61143580

>>61141652
if you really loved her then you would rape her

>> No.61145249
File: 330 KB, 1241x1754, LamyYamenaa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61145249

>>61141652
Lamy's feelings for (you) are much more complicated

>> No.61145968
File: 280 KB, 1920x1080, 1698115422804156.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61145968

>>61145249
>complicated

>> No.61147948

>>61145249
So she loves me more?

>> No.61148052
File: 506 KB, 852x659, LamySexCropped.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61148052

>>61145968
Troublesome women are rarely simple

>> No.61151077

>>61095544
Crawling up Shiori's womb.

>> No.61152261
File: 70 KB, 193x187, 1613253597538.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61152261

>>61151077

>> No.61152335

>>61095544
Shiori crawling up your urethra before you have sex with Nerissa so you impregnate her with a tiny Shiori that she eventally gives birth to

>> No.61154089

>HoloJourneys Chapter 2
The first part was quite good. I almost forgot to put anything about it in the review because I thought that was still chapter one (that's the problem with my slow reading, I guess), but after they left Anon's home, seemingly nothing happened. The chapter never builds up any tension. "Oh, here's a conflict? Just resolve it immediately with ease." "Oh, we need to convince the elf to leave behind her friends and family and travel with strangers? Well, worry not, Watame already did all that off-page." "Oh, they don't like that we are snooping around the library for forbidden knowledge? Just tell them the truth and somehow they almost all believe you."
Even when Noel was gone to confirm your story, I was hoping for a twist that something happened at the village or whatever, anything that wasn't just "yeah, his story checks out." The only "twist", the only bit of tension, comes from the cliffhanger at the end. And it only builds tension because it is a cliffhanger. I'm almost sure that Anon and Watame will breeze through that challenge in the next chapter (though I wouldn't mind being proven wrong).

>> No.61154785
File: 165 KB, 528x868, kiarasicko.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61154785

Get a random fic from the archive and share your thoughts:
>Post Pekora Arson
It's cute, a bit short but if I had to take a guess this was probably a thread posted fic.
Would probably make a good concept for a longer fic given that it's basically a short fic pitching the concept of (taking a guess) Pekora burns down your house so you stay with her for a while.
>To and Fro
Ah I remember this fic, It short and sweet though it's less smut fic and more smutty concept.
Too bad the author of this never made a follow up to this but it's not like there's much in the way of a foundation to continue off of anyway, so I can see why they haven't. Still, for a short scene like this, it's pretty hot.

>> No.61156094
File: 453 KB, 1081x1080, 1696232235220147.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61156094

>> No.61156152

>>61154785
>Bellerophon
First fucking line and I see:
>Fubuki had never seen a horse
I know where this is going and fuck that, I'm not reading it.

>Salt and Shadow (An Unknown Tomorrow)
I'm assuming this was written during the Marine dementia arc that /wg/ had. The concept is decent but it wasn't revealed to be Marine until the very end, so I had no idea what she looked like throughout the entire story. Every action she did was met with a blank mental image because I had no descriptors or anything. I get what the author was going for but you really need to paint a picture when it comes to writing.

>> No.61156153

>>61156094
Where did you get this photo of my husband

>> No.61156379

>>61156152
>I know where this is going and fuck that, I'm not reading it.
Pussyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Chicken! Bwuk bwuk bwuk!

>> No.61156490

>>61156152
Unrelated, but for some reason this line
>Fubuki had never seen a horse
Just makes me think of it being the terrible opening line to like a cyberpunk fic with the context being she'd never seen real animals due to them being rare/extinct.
Yes I know Bellerophon is a bestiality fic where Fubuki has horse sex.

>> No.61156566

>>61156490
No but really, did you know Bellerophon is actually a bestiality fic where Fubuki has horse sex?

>> No.61156639

>>61156379
Hey man I just don't want to read about horse cock, I don't think that's a particularly strange sentiment for human beings.

>> No.61156740

>>61156639
What, you scared of horses or something? Did a horse touch you inappropriately as a child? Steal your highschool girlfriend?

>> No.61156838

>>61156740
No to both, but someone did write a story about a chuuba I like getting fucked by one. Kinda tore me up.

>> No.61156856

>>61156838
...was it Fubuki?

>> No.61156943

>>61156379
Nice The Room reference.
>>61156490
Sounds a lot like Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

>> No.61157180

>>61156943
Yeah I was thinking blade runner/general cyberpunk.
Too bad chuubas are the kind of thing that's more fit for the more fantastical cyberpunk settings rather than grimy cyber noir. Like yeah you can adapt stuff but there's like an inherently fantastical aspect to the "cast" that's always there.

>> No.61157518
File: 845 KB, 2894x4093, Foob boob.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61157518

>>61156856
Yes.

>> No.61157748

>>61157518
Was it Bellerophon?

>> No.61157808

>>61157518
I know it's not true, but I feel like poor Fubuki has had more sex with creatures than humans here.

>> No.61157845
File: 739 KB, 2000x2829, 112800990_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61157845

>>61157518
That's a very sexy Foobs, by the way.

>> No.61159396

>>61129682
Wasn't it Miko that wanted to see your dick or am I just imagining things? I ask because I swear I saw this prompt before but I wouldn't br surprised if it were my eyes playing tricks on me.

>> No.61159503

>>61159396
>>/vt/thread/38566360#p38650802

Although I can see why you would want to pick Suisei over Miko. Miko its incredibly out of character for her whereas for Suisei, its not.

>> No.61159788

>>61159503
That's not wife material, that's hoe material.

>> No.61159858
File: 130 KB, 452x151, pob.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61159858

>>61159396
>Drunk but flushed bright red Miko giving you incredibly sloppy head and glaring up at you while muttering something about "I don't get why Pekora likes these" with your dick still in her mouth
>She's violently fingering herself anyway
God. Damnit.

>> No.61160357

>>61159396
>>61159503
Miko would fit the "curious girl won't stop fiddling around with your dick" prompt more in this situation.

>> No.61161198
File: 1.31 MB, 1500x1700, __usada_pekora_hololive_drawn_by_homura_hmr0222__8f4826ed1905471d70a51c4267e1a50d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61161198

Friends! Brothers!
I want to fuck a rabbit

>> No.61161422

>>61161198
We know, Miko.

>> No.61161431

>>61161198
We know Miko

>> No.61161494
File: 665 KB, 1219x1158, RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61161494

>>61161422
>>61161431

>> No.61161516

>>61161198
GUARDS HE BROKE INTO THE ZOO AGAIN

>> No.61161712

>>61161516
This made me imagine a dystopian alternate reality where half-humans like Pekora are discriminated and put into zoos

>> No.61161753

>>61161198
>>61161422
>>61161431
>>61161494
Miko hornyposting about Pekora on a chan while trying to fit in would be very funny.
>Yeah bros I want to fuck Pekora so bad. I want to grope her tits and grunt like an animal when I shove my big hard dick into her cunt like the masculine man I am.

>> No.61161870
File: 598 KB, 1300x1057, __usada_pekora_sakura_miko_usada_pekora_don_chan_and_sakura_miko_hololive_drawn_by_abara_heiki__92278753c55e0b90788aa4d052797a77.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61161870

>>61161753
>Usada will come back to me eventually. Either willingly... or by force [smirks quite rapishly]

>> No.61161893

>>61161712
That sounds like a fic where the joke at the end is that it's real life and the zoo is called hololive and the exhibits are their streams.
>>61161753
>We know mikofag

>> No.61161922

>>61161712
It wasn't about zoos iirc, but we had some prompts and discussions on the "animal girls don't have human rights" joke that some holomems made.

>> No.61163214
File: 141 KB, 1067x955, 1694228586972680.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61163214

>> No.61163224
File: 206 KB, 1114x1573, __houshou_marine_hololive_drawn_by_mikumineko__8fd75609c9497b8ee35690495ead5c6d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61163224

>> No.61163584

>>61095544
Suisei ageplay!

>> No.61163950
File: 143 KB, 1000x1000, 1666619805959232.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61163950

>>61154089
Hey thanks for reading! I can definitely see how the chapter was low on the tension side of things, likely a product of my early story weaving and not being practiced in trying to properly draw things out to be a little more tense. The problems that arise were also meant to be "low level" in a sense, and not require impressive feats to overcome. If I may though, Anon and Watame were not exactly doing anything illegal, just questionable for a normal citizen, the knowledge was more so just older and forgotten rather than forbidden. I suppose back then I wasn't thinking about how I could add twists to the chapter that might have made it more entertaining, and mainly worked off the initial and simple outline I had that would lead the story to where I wanted it to go. I will certainly be mindful going forward of how I might approach future conflict resolution and building proper tension. It's easy to say that I've definitely gotten better since those days, but I can still get better. Thanks again for the read and the review! I hope you like what you read next and maybe have some feedback that can keep helping me improve.

>> No.61164569

>>61161922
I think we've had some pretty good concepts made out of those discussions. Personal favorite is that Nene is a bear kemono that gets bought as your teddy bear who helps you escape the reckoning of the kemono revolution as the two of you fall in love. I also like the idea behind those collarverse fics, but outside of that Towa/rurudo one there hasn't been any good ones exploring the idea.

>> No.61164601

>>61164569
What didn't you like about the others in comparison?

>> No.61166300
File: 182 KB, 1200x1180, 1694053217459058.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61166300

OLs deserve more love.

>> No.61166303
File: 2.24 MB, 2143x3000, 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61166303

>> No.61166386
File: 520 KB, 1448x2048, 1698157841671551.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61166386

>>61166300
Thick thighs in dark leggings is just
the best

>> No.61168093

>>61164601
From the ones I remember
The kemono segregated schools one that followed from the Mio's daughter stuff kind of felt like it was drawing way too heavily from burger race relations.
I think the Marine dresses up as a bunny girl and acts like a combination of a bad Pekora impression and a horny bunny doe idea one sounds hilarious but it's also something that you'd need to build the world around.

>> No.61169508
File: 118 KB, 870x1024, __houshou_marine_usada_pekora_houshou_marine_and_usada_pekora_hololive_drawn_by_homura_hmr0222__d20e550326c90099c1775bb1c0fc5187.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61169508

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVMNq-UDviM
>And when we've had a couple of beers
>We'll put on bunny suits
>I long to nibble your ears
>And do as bunnies do
>Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits
>Let's do it all day long
>Rapidly becoming rabid
>Singing little rabbit songs
>I can keep it up all night
>I can keep it up all day
>Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits
>Until we pass away
>"I'm already a rabbit though, I don't need to pretend."

>> No.61169675

>>61169508
Let's just pretend I'm still Pekora.

>> No.61169749

>>61168093
What did you think about the Koyori collar fic?

>> No.61170118

>>61168093
the second one never got made right? because its from the same author of fistful of love and he admitted it being way out of his scope

>> No.61170371

>>61169749
Haven't read it but I'll give my thoughts now that I have.
This feels like it was written by someone who hasn't read enough greentexts to understand the style. Like it feels like an outline rather than an attempt at making something work in that laconic tone you associate with using greentext.
Outside of that, it's an alright outline for a bigger story in prose. As pure greentext it's just lacking, there's something hot in here that can be cleaned up but right now it's in that ugly in-between state of not written tightly enough for greentext but not having the depth of being in prose.

>> No.61170579

>>61170118
What do you mean? The Mio one in my post is referring to "Daddy's girl" and the discussion the after it about animal ear people having segregated schooling.
I think I do remember the author for it saying that, but I honestly can't remember.

>> No.61170699

>>61170118
I think why he never wrote it is because people on here were wanting some "incest" which the author wasn't comfortable with doing.

>> No.61170749

>>61170579
I think what he's saying is that "fistful of love" and "daddy's girl" are from the same author.

>> No.61170962

>>61170749
>>61170579
yeah that's what i meant. i remember him being apologetic that he couldnt wrap his head around the stuff, then he made a fistful of love and added his characters as kind of a cameo and it ended up turning into "a prequel"
>>61170699
but someone else made incest? or at least i remember someone making an incest fic with a mio clone

>> No.61171016

>>61156838
Probably tore her up too

>> No.61171048

>>61170962
Yeah, someone else had made a mio incest story. I actually didn't know it existed myself until someone pointed it out to me.
Shame really. I preferred the previous one but I can understand why incest is so well liked here. Hell, didn't the "Miyuki is your daughter" originally start off as a no incest story?

>> No.61171135

>>61171048
eh i wouldnt say incest here is unpopular, just that writing incest with a kid you created might feel weird for some people.
I like that nigga too, the idea of Mio being a baby factory but her husband being the pushover is pretty sweet

>> No.61171445

>>61171048
No, Miyuki smut started with the author that made it. Seriously, the first chapter was innocent daughter fluff, second chapter was the fic that started the OC daughter incest.
>>61170699
No, the author for that Mio daughter fic did want to make a sequel but the segregation concept was what was fucking with the sequel rather than the incest jokes.

>> No.61171607

>>61171445
Okay, so like, correct me if I'm wrong but are you saying that the person who did the Miyki smut is ALSO the same person who did the non smut part as well?

>but the segregation concept was what was fucking with the sequel rather than the incest jokes.

Are you ABSOLUTLEY positive on that claim, anon? I ask because I do remember him wanting to write that "segregation" bit to his story and wanting the "daughter" to be rewarded and people were throwing out incest ideas. I know this because I guilty said to him that his story will never be read then because he wasn't willing to add any incest in it.

>> No.61171809
File: 48 KB, 227x222, ogei.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61171809

>>61171607
>shitting on a newbie writer that doesnt want to write incest
i feel like you are a bumbling retard but i still should ask, what led you to chimp out?

>> No.61172184

>>61171809
How was what I said a "chimp out?". The majority of this general who liked the author's work wanted incest thrown into it and the author wasn't comfortable with it. All I did was act dumb and say enjoy not having his stories read then since he wasn't going to "give" the incestfags what they want.

>> No.61172454

>>61171607
>>61172184
You chimp. You idiotic gorilla. You stupid fucking baboon. You absolute grub-eating orangutan. You vicious ebola-ridden haemorrhagic macaque. Your gang of incestfags pushed away a writer and now you're the victim.

>> No.61172595

>>61172184
>The majority of this general who liked the author's work wanted incest thrown into it
you seem to confuse jokes and shitposting with what you wanted. I also joked about incest in other prompts but i never deluded myself into "not reading" unless incest is involved
> All I did was act dumb and say enjoy not having his stories read then since he wasn't going to "give" the incestfags what they want.
Ironic shitposting is still shitposting

>> No.61173039
File: 3.39 MB, 2480x3508, 1682524490869.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61173039

>>61164569
Thank you for the compliment on Lion Taming! Though, despite the title, Rurudo being an animal girl wasn't really a factor in anything during writing. The fic idea stems from some old prompts (chiefly the collarverse ones); it's a setup for oyakodon BDSM from a stream-of-conciousness Towa POV.
I had thoughts on the interesting "no human rights for animal girls" discussions, but those were kept separate.

>> No.61173160
File: 1.01 MB, 1438x900, 1698166953388834.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61173160

How is your WIP going, anon?

>> No.61173324

>>61172454
Do no lump me in with incestfags, retard. As I said all I'm guilty of (which I actually regret) was opening my fat mouth and telling the author to "enjoy" not having his stories read then because he wasn't going to give the majority of the general incest.

>>61172595
>but i never deluded myself into "not reading" unless incest is involved
You are a poor, fucking liar and I don't even know why I "lumped" myself with you retards when I told the author to "enjoy" not having his story read then. Incestfags like you ruin fics.

>> No.61173399
File: 503 KB, 547x633, aquathumb.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61173399

>>61173160
Better now that I reworked how my current chapter starts. I had one of those times where it was just not coming to me with how I initially set it up, but using an alternate start is starting to let it flow a lot better.

>> No.61173418

oh its the same schizo
wondering if he's ever gonna write something or if he's just gonna keep shitting the thread

>> No.61173489
File: 33 KB, 399x525, boner.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61173489

>>61173160
I've written more in the past two days than I have in like a month and it's not even on the story I'm supposed to be finishing. But I'm feeling rejuvenated for the first time in fucking ever.

>> No.61173518

>>61173039
Why is rurudo so damn cute man.

>> No.61173566
File: 412 KB, 630x591, BAE NO LONGER WATERMELON.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61173566

>>61173160
in exactly one week my fate will be decided. from there, i can continue working on holoctober and then maybe make some damn progress on my original wips

>> No.61173766

>>61173160
I've finally finished it (In my head)
Now I have to actually write it.

>> No.61173888
File: 1.22 MB, 1674x992, KiaraSexCropped.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61173888

>>61154785
>To and Fro
I've actually had an unfinished WIP sitting forever now for it's sequel but I've since grown to be interested and like Kiara a lot more than when I first wrote that, such that I don't really enjoy portraying her as the degenerate slut she'd need to be for the fic to work. So I'll likely have to settle for separate incest fics for the both of them

>> No.61173899

>>61173489
ganbare writer kun

>> No.61173906

>>61173418
Today, anon decided he wanted to look up fics to suit his needs. He found none, so instead he attempted to write one instead. It was awful, so he decided to jerk off to some of his oshi's porn and then he suddenly go the biggest inspiration that he ever had in his pathetic life.
He never got round to started his story because the porn he found of his oshi was so fucking good he ended up nutting his entire soul out of his dick. And now he was dead.

There. There's your "fic" that I just pulled out of my head so feel free to tear it apart as hard as you can. Ftr the (You) in that short summery oshi was Polka but I just cannot think of what "porn" of her that is so good that you happened to cum your entire life to it.

>> No.61174026

>>61095544
Fucking Roboco so hard she bluescreens

>> No.61174540
File: 91 KB, 240x262, 1698169313515279.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61174540

>>61173160
Still on pause. But got something else in the works that I'm having VERY much fun with.

>> No.61174592

>>61174026
>stick it in
>she bluescreens
>hit the reset button
>roboco doesnt turn on
>sigh
>open her back panel, dust off and lubricate the coolers
>she still doesnt turn on
>dick her again
>nothing
>swap the rams
>nothing
>swap the rams back
>dick in
>she turns on
>close the back panel
>she turns off
>swap the rams and tighten one screw of the coolers
>finally she turns on

>> No.61175081

>>61173160
One day I have a headache, the next chronically fatigued even though I slept 10 hours and had a bit of caffeine, the next I can't put down this webnovel I'm reading, things aren't so good...
Gonna take a nap and slay some scenes tonight

>> No.61175309

>>61174592
you forgot those 10 minutes you spend looking forums and scaring yourself until someone with a kingdom hearts signature nails the problem you have

>> No.61178102

>>61173160
No words, page empty

>> No.61178404

>>61174026
i made this post

>> No.61179527

>>61175309
This is too real, although in my case its always been someone with a super obscure 80s anime pfp

>> No.61182464

>>61175309
>yeah turns out you just have to shove up her butt

>> No.61183277

Wonder when that fucker's going to come back and finish Miyuki's bad end

>> No.61184858

>>61183277
I'd finish in her bad end if she had one.

>> No.61185976

>>61183277
I'm pretty sure the anon writing that has had to rework that concept like three times at this point. I don't think that fic will ever come out.

>> No.61189719

>>61185976
Neither, but I live in hope.

>> No.61194833

>>61104130
hot

>> No.61198185
File: 2.70 MB, 1654x2339, 1681544656620909.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61198185

>> No.61198589

>>61183277
Didn't the anon say that he's not finishing that fic because it's pretty much NTR? At this point if you wanna see it, you'll either have to commission someone or write it yourself.

>> No.61199922

>>61198589
He didn't say why he wasn't finishing the fic beyond trying multiple times and ultimately remaining unsatisfied iirc

I want to see the fic done by the original author; if I got it commissioned or wrote it myself, it'd have little to no meaning. It'd lack the sense of moral corruption which makes a fic like that delicious.

>> No.61201427
File: 71 KB, 715x1000, a06c1b5f3bea3a65af2574a6440612f6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61201427

>>61168093
>>61170118
>>61170579
>>61170699
>>61171048
>>61171135
hey there, author here. Pretty much spot on with your memory. Tackling a credible segregation was really outside of my skill bracket and i ended up rewriting what i had over and over.
The draft that lasted the longest was
>Sirius and a few other kemonos are not exactly segregated, but there's a girl who is clearly triying to get a raise out of all of them
Here i wanted to introduce Botan's daughter, a HUGE (we are talking towering over other girls) Lion called Regurus. She's a play on the cowardly lion, as she's a complete pushover that wishes to be like her mom and follows the star naming convention i really like.
>The incident is Mio's old tarot cards getting taken by the bitchy girl and that triggering a fight
The old cards would, in our timeline, be the ones anon gifted her after Taiga spilled water on the old ones. Maybe throw in a reference at how Sirius got to meet Taiga as an old fart.
>Mio gets called after her daughter slashes at the girl. Luckily, all she got is hair
And from there all i had was a vague idea of what exactly the conversation should be. Mio wouldnt scream or lash at her, but be supportive. This would tie to the title, which would be a play on Daddy's girl, but something like "Mommy knows best" or "Mommy's princess"

Also incest comments were shitposts/jokes and i never cared about them. I dont like incest but you are free to love it

>> No.61202425

I keep coming back to the idea of spanking a chuuba and then having her sit on (you)r face as she shuffles uncomfortably, but the setup doesn't make sense.

>> No.61202617

>>61202425
why not switch play? something like you and the chuuba take turns domming. When its your turn you spank and when its her turn she sits

>> No.61203025

>>61095507
Can I ask for worldbuilding help here? I was hoping to post in the worldbuilding thread but it must have died

>> No.61203083

>>61203025
No

>> No.61203093

>>61203025
Sure, fire away

>> No.61203117

>>61202617
The switch would be too fast in this case, the point is facesitting when it still really hurts to sit down.

>> No.61203127

>>61203025
Definitely, go ahead. What's happenin

>> No.61203204
File: 2.62 MB, 1024x1536, 1666264001157680.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61203204

>>61203025
Just shoot your question and any anon can give their own shot at answering. Context could possibly help as well if you have anything relevant.

>> No.61203377

>>61203117
well if im honest i dont see the sexual appeal of spanking but wouldnt it work if you have her sit on your face then spank her as she sits there?

>> No.61204515

>>61203025
Yeah, there's always going to be a bunch of bored writers hanging out here so shoot your question.

>> No.61205417

>>61203127
>>61203093
>>61203204
>>61204515
Alright, I'll do my best to kind of package this the best I can, I'm an absolute newfag when it comes to worldbuilding

I'm building a world around Rosemi, and I've been slaving away these past few weeks making maps, designing a Language, thinking through the materials, surroundings, culture-- the whole nine yards. What perplexes me is how I should design some sort of magical fuel source-- I was thinking about having some sort of biological plant that produces hydrogen-based sap that releases balls of sap that float upwards when they bloom, and whose sap can be burned, but I'm really not sure how I want to work it, nor do I know how to flavor it-- it feels like there's probably a better way to do it.

>Context could possibly help as well if you have anything relevant.
If it helps, the setting is a medieval fantasy setting, I've been keeping Kaladesh from MTG in mind when I've been thinking about design and structure, meshing in some Asian architecture here and there.

The materials are all similar to earth's, but there are a few additional materials and differences. For brevity, I won't list them all or go into too much depth, but I'll list a few major materials and things to give you an idea:
- Rosimium, a lustrous metal with luminescent properties
- Verinia, a pink sand indigenous to the Dutchy, is often found near shores and used in the production of Florinia, a material used as an agricultural medium.
- Terraxite, a blood-red, crystalline material, similar to quartz, used in the process of purifying Rosimium
- Florinia, a high-performance agricultural medium used to grow indigenous herbs
- Aetherflux, a rare bloodlike substance only obtained from Aetheroses purified under the first Full Moon of every month.
- Hemoclover, a blood-red clover plant. Depending on the phase of the moon and the number of leaves, hemoclover is used to create ritualistic substrates with unusual properties

I've hit a roadblock in how I want the technology and machinery to work, and some ideas would really be appreciated, just throw 'em on me. I'd be more than willing to explain anything more in-depth if it helps.

>> No.61205646

>>61205417
Well since it's all made the fuck up, your flower centric society can develop magitek using the unique fauna of the region to power them. It depends on how advanced you want the civilization to be. If it's focused on the one place, having it be more nature based might simplify things more for you. It kinda sounds like you got it figured out.

>> No.61209225

>>61205417
>What perplexes me is how I should design some sort of magical fuel source
It should be the nectar of the flower people like Rosemi, and it should be harvested sexually by strapping them to machines that look suspiciously like penises.

>> No.61209308
File: 115 KB, 374x267, 1641762249060.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61209308

>>61205417
Are you 100% sold on the steampunk setting? Because I got an idea.

Pig based economy.

Think Papua New Guinea but combined with free range factory farming. Pigs are used for slave labor, fat burned for oil, meat used for munching. Everything depends on this singular resource, that happens to be high intelligent, very cute, and wonderfully pink.
Throw Rosemi in the mix, and maybe she's the princess of the kingdom who heartlessly exploits the pigs, maybe she's a pig freedom resistance leader that thinks they're too cute to enslave.

Consider a more bionatural low tech setting, along the lines of Tarkir. Rosemi would be Sultai, Selen Kolaghan, Elira Ataraxia, etc.

This is so far away from your original post, it's all just ideas. Maybe one of them might help.

>> No.61209889

>>61209308
Rosemi pig sex fic?

>> No.61210174

>>61205646
>It kinda sounds like you got it figured out.
Thanks. I'm really just having fun with it, it's been a side project for a while

>>61209225
well I think you're on to something with that nectar part, I think I'll chew on that one for a little while, thanks anon!

>>61209308
I'm pretty sold on the steampunk theme but you made me laugh audibly for 5 whole fucking minutes, so thanks.

>> No.61210183
File: 202 KB, 850x1218, RosemiArbor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61210183

>>61205417
You could do a lot depending how fantastical you have your flowers and plants be, cause you could have whole ass machines up to like Titanfall mech tier that's controlled by muscles which are just thousands of vines from a central flower that you poke and prod to react and move in a certain way. Maybe with that fuel source sap you could do ethanol-based instead of hydrogen for it being a lot more natural as well.

>> No.61210192

>>61209889
Enemies to lovers romance with a pig hobgoblin orc that speaks on behalf of the poor butas everywhere

>> No.61210554

>>61210183
>Maybe with that fuel source sap you could do ethanol-based instead of hydrogen for it being a lot more natural as well.

Cool idea, I like your thinking anon! How would they harvest the sap do you think?

>> No.61212595

>>61210554
A big cartoon syringe with a skull on it.

But really though it kinda depends on how they treat plants like that culturally. Is it in it's entirety just a resource or would they treat the sap itself more like a gift?

>> No.61216772
File: 5 KB, 347x36, lunapolice.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61216772

>> No.61216825

>>61173160
I've been kicking around Ollie story ideas
1 is ninja Ollie sneaking into (you) the daimyo's castle to steal (you)r semen, but her technique is so bad you are left with massive blue balls after four hours of lackluster handjobs after she flees, so you set a trap to hold her in place, stuck in wall style, for the next night she comes so you can fuck her brains out and drain your balls into her
2 is inspired by Ollie's selfcest fetish, where Ollie, Olivia and Sallie are transported into a room between realities while the timeliness are getting fixed, and Sallie learns that both Ollie and Olivia are futas.

>> No.61216889
File: 423 KB, 929x1350, suilust.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61216889

>>61194833
Just IMAGINE the jiggling of Ojisan!Anon's big beer belly when he is ravaging Suisei's petite body with his big ojisan cock. Suisei, absolutely spellbound by the rough and raw masculinity she hasn't truly experienced before, can no longer be satisfied by effeminate twinks.

>> No.61216939

>>61216889
>AA fucks Suisei

>> No.61217080

>>61216889
Suisei getting mating pressed and she realizes that the oji-san's weight makes it so that she couldn't escape even if she wanted to. She can only hope the condom doesn't break while her mouth gets invaded by his tongue.

>> No.61218335

>>61216825
Sallie?

>> No.61218635
File: 76 KB, 850x1511, __kureiji_ollie_and_sallie_hololive_and_1_more_drawn_by_lam_ramdayo__sample-4ef703be7b878d80ece907b7921d4b74.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61218635

>>61218335
Ollie forma de Hag

>> No.61219211

>>61201427
>Also incest comments were shitposts/jokes and i never cared about them.
And just like that, this confirms I am to blame here because I'm too "autistic" to spot shitpost/jokes on the internet and genuinely thought people were wanting to ruin your fic with some "forbidden incest".

My bad.

>> No.61220517
File: 1.20 MB, 1116x1854, 1678528683335.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61220517

>> No.61221726

>>61216825
Since Ollie and Sallie are Frankenstein-style zombies with a mix of mismatching body parts, while Olivia is a human, wouldn't it make a lot more sense for Olivia to be the non-futa?

>> No.61221746
File: 581 KB, 2344x3288, 20230830_130047.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61221746

>>61220517
Ojou love

>> No.61222387

>>61221746
Miss Nakiri, your shirt....it might be a bit....

>> No.61223427
File: 2.39 MB, 1748x2780, 112841945_p0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61223427

Trick-or-treat, ojii-san!

>> No.61223468

>>61221726
the prim Olivia getting spitroasted by Ollie, who's wildly thrusting her hips like a wild animal while Sallie is much less aggressive while hitting all the right spots with pinpoint accuracy

>> No.61224408

>>61223427
You know, I get that doujins and art kind of eat up a lot of the demand for the low hanging fruit of chuuba fantasies, but it's weird to think how there's not a fic yet using that dynamic of bratty witch and Oji-san.

>> No.61224491

>>61224408
Most old ugly bastards would probably prefer to self-insert into a second person protagonist as someone who is at least better-looking.

>> No.61224493

>>61224408
There's Credit Where It's Due, although it's probably lacking the power relationship/instant loss that you're looking for

>> No.61224819
File: 99 KB, 850x1202, mya.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61224819

The guy who writes an Ojisan!Anon/Amamya fic will receive an ancient Roman style triumph.

>> No.61224871

>>61224819
What's she like?

>> No.61224888

>>61224819
Can we leave out the red facepaint?

>> No.61225066

>>61224493
Honestly,not even looking for that instant loss aspect, like the smutty part is well, part of the appeal but I think there's a fun dynamic of Shion and an old Oji-san.

>> No.61225356
File: 410 KB, 600x847, __amamiya_kokoro_nijisanji_drawn_by_yamabukiiro__d0dbd6ef60f0f3e1d2824302525bb95e.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61225356

>>61224871
Cute girl with a moe voice, the sort of character that everyone will start petting and calling cute. Tbqh, I haven't watched her or any Niji in over a year so that's all I can recall. But she's erotic as fuck.
>>61224888
It's the tradition, Anon!

>> No.61225432

>>61095544
Sexually harassing Shiori by constantly telling her how you could fuck her, how you would drink her pee, how many times would she cum and her just becoming a stuttering mess

>> No.61226906
File: 37 KB, 640x480, mpv-shot0003.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61226906

>>61221746
This is my face when I'm calmly contemplating the hypothetical act of sexual intercourse with Ojou

>> No.61228079
File: 172 KB, 850x1567, __sakamata_chloe_hololive_drawn_by_ellieka_sama__sample-795b3773326acdc6ff740d62b54b4c38.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61228079

>> No.61228466

>>61225432
All of the advent branch is prime sekuhara target
>Squeezing your face inbetween a Fuwamoco thigh sandwich
>Manhandling Bijou's tiny body
>Chasing Shiori and then licking her body
>Stuffing your face in Nerissa's ass

>> No.61228556
File: 159 KB, 850x1287, 1669064519839135.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61228556

So with less than a week left, can you post your Halloween week before Halloween?

>> No.61228606

>>61221726
It's either that, or Olivia is the futa for contrast

>> No.61229836

>>61173160
Poorly. Just can't get any progress or even keep my head remotely in the game anymore.
Realizing all my ideas are shit and probably better suited to images but remember even before I fucked up my hand (still not sure how the fuck my grip got so weird that the pinkie side of my hand suffers incredible pain after using a regular sized pen or pencil for more than a few minutes).

Just kinda thinking of just throwing in the towel and being an ideas person but most of my ideas are shit one liners.

>> No.61229908

>>61229836
Give me your shittiest one liners anon. Maybe there's a diamond hiding in the rough of your idea pile.

>> No.61231046

>>61166303

Chloe, put your clothes back on. You'll catch a cold.

>> No.61233076
File: 449 KB, 514x680, 1678020898925114.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61233076

>>61229836
Why do you think your ideas are shit? While it is important to give yourself breathing room and breaks when you need them, you might be selling your own creative mind short. I also hope your hand feels a little better soon. It's too soon to give up.

>> No.61235572
File: 987 KB, 1660x1660, 1698075892897677.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61235572

>> No.61237139

>>61233076
I'm lucky with the hand that usually the only time I have to write anything that gives issues is writing checks to pay bills or signing paperwork.

And they're tending towards shit as I look at the framework and keep going "This would just be better as a RP prompt with someone else" as is with most ideas I have.
And helps avoid having to do dialog myself while others could the other half of the conversation for 'free'

>> No.61237256

>>61237139
Well, would you like to RP?

>> No.61237268
File: 1.53 MB, 1200x1920, 1646012426421.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61237268

>>61095544
Suisei gets possessed by the ghost of a slutty 2view

>> No.61238640
File: 158 KB, 1063x1063, 1670377433514899.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61238640

>>61237139
I guess I'm not seeing how it starting as an RP prompt wouldn't help promote a story to form from it. If that kinda method works to help you create your story, I say go for it.

>> No.61240354
File: 1.03 MB, 1067x3272, 1680158676416115.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61240354

Okay writefags
Was it any good?

>> No.61240467
File: 1.54 MB, 1856x1392, __hoshimachi_suisei_hololive_drawn_by_ho_apgpx__5537e1d1bc9b9be5d060f72d964e0356.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61240467

>>61237268
That ghost? It's a demon that was born out of the dark and cynical thoughts that dwelled within Suisei's soul when she was at her lowest and it seemed like she would never make it in the idol world. Suisei managed to exorcise that darkness out of her then, but something that creates a crack in her soul occurs and gives a channel through which the demon can attempt invasion. It whispers evil in Suisei's ear, it manipulates her... and makes her defile herself >>61104130

>> No.61241155
File: 442 KB, 2025x2721, 1691504351126385.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61241155

>>61240354
For a tiny piece meant to be simple and sweet, I'm not sure it does the job, like I don't know how immersed your average novelite would get by this. The descriptions of the ride itself could have used a little more flowering, like really sell it to me that the scenery is unsettling. If this is supposed to be a finale, it might be a little weak. A ride where the (You) and Shiori barely talk to each other and then you just leave? I just can't imagine novelites being super satisfied with it from a self insert perspective. Formatting wise it's alright too, there are a few instances of words being used too closely to one another instead of a sound reading synonym, but nothing offensive or too detrimental to it. All in all, if Shiori got this together given her likely packed schedule, that is commendable and it's encouraging to see how much she seems to care about her community.

>> No.61241873
File: 1.12 MB, 1078x1600, 85809567_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61241873

>HoloJourneys Chapter 3
I think this was a big step up from the previous two chapters. The fight scene was kind of dynamic, even if it started out more like a turn-based game where Watame only attacked when Anon was pushed back, and Anon attacked after Noel deflected Watame's attack. But later on they were actually fighting together, which was nice. Also cool to see the limitations on Watame's buff magic, being that it affects everyone who hears it and not a specific target. And Watame being able to use the spell book is also intriguing.
The second half was a bit more forgettable, but I blame that on it literally just coming out of an action scene, and me reading this during my commute where I'm basically still half asleep.
Lastly two criticisms: In the fight it shifts the POV into Watame's mind for a paragraph (which is unusual for 2nd person, but whatever), but the paragraph after that is in 3rd person for some reason. Second thing is when Anon tests the new spell, Mr. Shiranui mentions "then turn your opponent’s own force against them", but there was nothing that indicated the output strangth of the spell to be what the shield absorbed. So either Mr. Shiranui already knew about the spell or he just made a baseless assumption.

I actually got through this chapter quite quickly (for my standards), but that might just be because it's also the shortest chapter in the entire series...

>> No.61242120

>>61240354
Was it written semi-coherently in the english language? Yes.
So it is writing. But it entirely misses the point. There's so much focus on the setting and hardly enough for Shiori herself.
Makes the viewer out to be some jumpy beta which I dislike as personal preference because I am Chad Thundercock and not some fucking loser virgin.
It doesn't suitably convey the signifance of the date, the feelings of the viewer and the feelings of Shiori. It tries, but there's work to be done, Shiori.

>> No.61243836

>>61240354
I liked it for what it was.

>> No.61244466

>>61240354
Decidedly meh. Feel lukewarm towards it. It's competently written but lacks any form of pizzazz.

>> No.61245290
File: 2.13 MB, 348x480, 1693546677610053.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61245290

>>61166303
>that soft and squishable tummy
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I NEED IT I NEED TO BURY MY FACE IN IT I NEED TO SQUEEZE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>> No.61247249

>>61245290
That's me drilling Chloe with my cock under the table

>> No.61247445

>>61095544
Lamy cracks open a new can of slime, but to her surprise what she finds inside is you -- a baby slime monster. After calming down, she notices you're kind of cute and decides to raise you. To her surprise, you just seem to keep getting bigger and bigger.
When she has to go on a business trip, she asks her neighbour Marine to keep an eye on you. Thinking you can't understand since you don't have ears or a brain, Marine spends the weekend filling your empty head with all sorts of ideas about the indecent relationships which frequently arise between slimes and elves. What kind of monster is now waiting for Lamy when she comes back?

>> No.61247779
File: 67 KB, 282x258, 1686913916419162.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61247779

>>61241873
Hey thanks for reading! It was the first fight scene that would be considered close to sword fighting, so while it might have been a little turn-based for a while, I'm glad it was still a little dynamic. The POV shift during that scene is honestly something I could have made a little better. While I had updated chapters 1-3 to not have my starting out prose stink to them, I didn't really change out how the scenes play. I agree that the shift was probably strange, but I really wanted to get Watame's internal thoughts across. For your second critique, I don't remember if I did anything like describe how the light from the spell became brighter or larger, but just the fact that the output was clearly more powerful than what he initially saw is what gave Mr Shiranui that assumption. Since from what he saw, Noel was able to bat away that spell with, and the next day Anon was capable of some actual destructive power. The sequence of spells also let him make that educated guess. The spell book is kinda a neat little piece of the unknown that characters can only make guesses to, which I really like as a narrative element. I'm glad you liked the chapter and thanks so much again for the review. There will likely come a time where I give my earlier chapters another pass through as my skills improve, so this is all great to have. Also it is easily the shortest main chapter in the entire series, so you're right about that besides the long awaited Watame breeding much later on. I think initially I thought the contents of the outline would have fit into one chapter but that ended up needing to be split into a 2 and 3. My writing process back then consisted of making an entire arc outline and seeing where things ended up. Now I tend to outline each chapter as I come to it while having notes for an overall arc's scenes that will be covered.

>> No.61250137
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61250137

>>61240354
Hey writer-kun, cool to have you around with us today. I took a nice read of your story. I'd say the big problem is that you seem to have put all your effort on the setup for a payoff that feels like a letdown, not even in the selfinsertfag kind of way, just... The interaction is completely lacking between (You) and Shiori.

I am unsure as to how you came to conceive this story. I liked the idea you had for the finally, would be pretty sweet were it not for the fact that the date itself is such a nothingburger.

You have some nice skill, just needed to cook it a bit more! Ganbare writer-kun, hope to see more of you sometime.

>> No.61250803

>>61240354
Did Shiori write that herself? She only credited the image artist.

>> No.61252020

>>61250137
>>61244466
>>61242120
>>61241155
It makes more sense once you realize it's the finale to a longer series of short stories.
t. not Shiori

>> No.61252162

>>61252020
Well I considered that, but that makes this as the finale even more lackluster. Are there more even more subtler hints that she's a witch throughout it? Her interactions with the (You) feel like you are barely more than an acquaintances. Like why are you even there? Why do you care to be there? Even if some of that is shown through previous parts, the fact that none of it is recollected or compiled from the reader's perspective leaves it wanting.

>> No.61253055
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61253055

>a friend I know posted a snippet from a story here in our friend group
>it's from one if my most violent ryona stories
>they're actually reading my abuse fics and have no idea I'm the one writing them

>> No.61254209

>>61253055
>tfw I introduced a friend to the world of fanfiction
>they came across one of mine

>> No.61254837

>>61252020
Did this series by some god forsaken reason completely and intentionally cut the date part? Only folding if yes.

>> No.61254927

>>61253055
thats funny as fuck

>> No.61254988

>>61253055
>>61095544
Advent reviews a ryona fic with Shiori being suspiciously apologetic about any mistakes the rest of Advent point out about the fic.

>> No.61256140

>>61254988
I'd like to watch Shiori review a ryona fic just to hear the goofy euphemisms she uses to describe the action. And to see if she's secretly getting off to it.

>> No.61260145

>>61095507
Bump

>> No.61262725
File: 361 KB, 464x464, 1698157969204630.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
61262725

>> No.61263336

>>61262725
Get all the guns you want Irys, I'm going to breed Bae and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

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