/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>50197019 (Me)
Alright finally got some time
>>50194400
Pretty good short story, i liked it despite its pretty much just a excuse to incest the ame, not really a lot to say.
>>50196378
I loved it. You did great with the new dialogue structure, and i love how much of a gremlin bae is in this, i have to admit i didnt initially like the characterization of irys, but i've warmed up to her now and im enjoying it. MORI LOVE!.

Maybe you could paint the scene a little bit more, although you already have good descriptions ,and making it so characters dont say the names as often (since they are bros, i suggest more use of dude, sis and similar sounding stuff)
excited for the next chapter