/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>57748164
Reposting this is case you didn't see it a couple threads ago (and this is only for the first third you posted), but here's some writing advice:

>Keep track of singular/plural: “people” refers to a number of persons, but life is singular, so you’re saying people are busy with their collective, singular life (they all have separate lives).
>“are missed by our eyes” sounds better here.
>“a” only follows after singular subjects (e.g. a book, a cute Shiori, a Novelite), otherwise for plurals you’d remove it (e.g. books, cute Shioris, Novelites).
>"it’s" is really confusing, but just remember that “it’s” is a contraction of “it is”, otherwise “its” is used for posessives, like you’ve done correctly further on.
>Apostrophes should never be used for plurals with two exceptions: single letters and single numbers (e.g. I’ve dotted my i’s and crossed my t’s; find all the number 7’s).
>You haven’t added a word like “the” or “this” to refer to the book. You can rearrange the sentence to be a bit more poetic and say something like, “Strange smells, like that of petrichor, emanate from the book…”
>The end of this sentence is a bit redundant: these 3 things are from an unknown plant specimen, so “Shiorin had never seen them before” is already implied. Also, “plant specimen” brings emphasis to a particular individual plant; I would just stick with “plant” on its own if you’re describing where those 3 things came from.
>Since you could be referring to a number of things, I wasn't too sure what you meant by “a root”—“originating from(?)”, or descendent from(?), language-wise?
>“the fairy alphabet” implies there’s only one recognized fairy alphabet. "a" solves this.
>When you introduce a quote with a full sentence (i.e. one that can stand on its own, without the quotation), you’d use a colon, otherwise you would use a comma (e.g. The Novelite shouted from the top of its lungs: “Shiori is CUTE!” vs. The Novelite couldn’t help but think, “Shiori is CUTE!” as it flipped the page). Though depending on the style guide you follow, a common is fine in both cases. Also depending on the style guide, you'd usually contain any punctuation marks within the quote if it’s a exclamation or question mark, otherwise you’d use a comma or period outside, after the end quotation mark.
>“earth” (uncapitalised) can refer to the soil, ground, etc., otherwise if you mean Earth (the planet), then you’d capitalise it here.

It was a cute story and you have the imagination for creative writing and also good foundation of English, you just need to polish up your grammar and spelling, and creating "flow" with your prose—all of which just comes with time and practice.

Keep up the good work, anon.