/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

Funny clock

>>21472580
This is better Nekoronii. I can tell you proofread, but you did miss a few bits of grammar here and there, misspelled words, but nothing that big. I'll be upfront and say while I like the story so far, I feel like the pacing in this chapter is very, very fast. IRyS and the others so acclimated together so quickly doesn't feel natural. I see this often, writers have a relationship in mind, and immediately put it onto the paper. This however, is a little detrimental because your readers don't know what you're thinking. Show us or tell us first. Of course "irl" we know how they interact, but they shouldn't interact like that in your story, at this point. Now certainly, the two girls could also just be the most welcoming people in the universe, but with your allusion to who the villain was in the first chapter, there's not much evidence to support this.

The two girls in the apartment can already be established at a certain level of friendliness with each other, that's ok. It's just a bit off, in my opinion, as to why they get so along with IRyS. I would either go back and flesh the relationships out more, or explain why they're like this in the next chapter.

Good job, sorry for the wall of text. Still proud of you.

>>21271659
This is actually super interesting. What a unique story you've created. Maybe because i'm also pretty chuuni but, in such a short time you created this world where something was clearly wrong and in the midst of it is IRyS, the symbol of hope. I felt like I wanted more and more and the story kept delivering. Really good stuff. I hope to read more some day, assuming this isn't a one-off.

For a little critique, some real basic grammar stuff like capitalizing names. Some commas are missing where they could be. Some sentences don't quite end, they use ellipses and then lead into the next sentence. This leaves things a little confusing in some spots. I would double check spots where you used them and decide if it's more beneficial to use the ellipses or just end the sentence.

Again, great job and I really hope this isn't a one-off. Proud of you Nekronii writer.

Feels good being mentally stable

>>20693246
(Me) x Name

>>20544234
I'M HAVING FUN AT THE HOLOFESTIVAL, ARE YOU HAVING FUN AT THE HOLOFESTIVAL?

>>20494548
I do enjoy trick or treating!

She's been doing her reps!

APOLOGIZE

>>19776097

>>19333993
Good thing I have friends

FIVE ENS SUFFERING FROM PROBLEMS ALL MONTH ENDING GUERILLA MONTH WITH A BANG
KNEEL

>>19032989
>I wish I had a cute kronie to share my love of Kronii with…
you don't? i have my wife-in-spririt so im a happy kronie

>>18490852
good to have you back breadbaker

>>18275966
Close to, but not. It hurts a little, sure, but it just means that the love never disappeared. Both of us knew that it wouldn't. And that's okay. The bittersweet feeling is just a reminder of that. It's nostalgic, melancholic, and sure, there were things both of us could've done better, things that we wish were in our control, the whatifs and what not, but as long as I know they're happy, I'm okay.

KRONII HATES ME THE MOST!

>Valentines Project
>Ministry x rest of EN girls in a speed-dating game show
>each round one girl has a 3 minute speed date with all 5 boys
>each girl gets a total of around 15 minutes, 1.5-2 hour long entire special
Would you watch it?

>>17815409
Your desire for her attention, for getting read, is already a sign, anon. It won't make you feel less alone. It won't make you happy. It only temporarily fills the void with dopamine. Kronii wouldn't be happy if she found out her viewers were living self-destructive lives for the sake of "loyalty" against other fans, or needed her for their own happiness. She would want you to be happy without needing her to be happy, just how she would like to be happy herself without her games or any other superficial object. She would want you to be happy for yourself, just like how she is trying to be. There's nothing wrong with having affection for her as a person, she's your oshi after all and you want to support her career. But you need to know the difference between support and using her as a way to ignore your own problems.
>>17815762
That's good, anon. She doesn't hate you, but you can't think she loves (You) either, at least not as an individual. She loves you as a part of her community that supports her and wants her to be happy, and you have people that love you the same way, as your own individual. It takes time to realize that, but don't end up falling into the marketing tricks of this industry. It can't fix you.

>>17616082
it's the norm
t.kronie

SHE DID IT

>Organizes kino collab that makes /hlgg/ r63post like her split
>Makes her senpais delay 15 minutes because tommy empy
>Doesn't show for 30 more minutes
She can't stop winning

BRAVO NOLAN

i still haven't listened to daydream. i am a patient kronie

RATE IT