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/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

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>> No.63552258 [View]
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63552258

>>63512267
Just got with chapter 2, the green on black was much easier to handle with daylight in my room, so that's a plus. First off, while I didn't have much of an issue with the world building of chapter 1, it would definitely benefit the experience if you had a landing page with some background info and a map as well. My own story is in desperate need of a world map of where has been visited so far and I swear I'll get on that after this current arc, maybe. Something like little profile snippets that list a person's origin etc might help too, since where a person hails from is an important aspect of your story.
For chapter 2 itself. I enjoyed the tense tone it carried and how it escalated in a sharp way. The little moments you use to sprinkle in the girls' personalities is well executed I feel. I also enjoyed the new face that arrives and the image you paint of her. The action was quick and decisive, very fitting for this. You also planted some intrigue in there on a couple of things, so I'm looking forward to seeing those unravel and figuring out what is going on with them.

>> No.51777002 [View]
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51777002

>>51776882
Lion-girl mud wrestling won't happen for a little bit, but I'm sure as hell gonna use it.

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