>>9036930
>>>/jp/31525329
>>9037222
I posted this last night and I couldn't stop thinking about it while at work today. I am going to blogpost because I hope that I can encourage the anons here that haven't made it yet to keep trying.
2020 was the worst year of my life. My pops passed away (LETS GOOOO) while in the hospital recovering from a schizophrenic breakdown (no, I'm not kidding). He didn't have medical insurance, so all of his medical bills had to be paid out of pocket with what little he had saved, which left nothing left to pay for his funeral expenses. I had recently bought a house, so I had next to nothing to pay for his final expenses. To rub salt in the wound, I lost my job shortly afterwards because I refused to fire my team to save payroll because my company was bleeding money because of coof. I was literally on the verge of being jobless, penniless, and homeless by the beginning of 2021.
The coof relief bill bought me some time, but 2020 rocked me so hard mentally, I had zero desire to even try to get my life together. Going back a bit, during that winter I gained close to 30lbs just sitting in bed rewatching Scrubs and The Office on repeat. I wasn't watching hololive at the time, but someone shared on Twitter Ame's happiness speech from her first SC reading and it encouraged me to tune in one night because what else am I doing with all my free time? I happened to catch her stream where she talked about how she deals with life's ups and downs. I know it's a meme but between those two moments, I really felt like she was just like me. So why am I being a bum and wasting away?
That January I started working out and by the spring I managed to get myself back to where I was before my own depression arc. I managed to get a job and pay off all the debt I built up over the past 18 months, and was able to send her my first aka supa on my birthday one month ago.
My oshi made me want to be the best version of myself. Not to impress her or others, but for myself. I wanted to be a better person because I deserve it just as much as others do.
I know she'll never read this and even if she did there's no way she'll know who's life she impacted specifically, but I feel like sharing this nonetheless because I know there's other anons out there that still haven't made it, to which I'd like to share the same advice my oshi gave me:
It gets better.