/vr/ - Retro Games

Gianna Sisters... looks like we're history...

Sup with that Rufio do?

Why were yuropean game covers so fucking ugly

>>8599348
That's the good cover.

imagine being a europoor

test

This cover for Czech ZX Spectrum game. Looks like it was cut straight from some boomer's humor magazine.

>>8599436
Early Sony in teh US was so bad. I remember those days I wouldn't touch a PSX.

The art isn’t bad in of itself, it’s just hilariously unfitting

>>8599507
>when your dick is so big it bulges against iron

>>8599387
>>8599348
step aside, mario

>>8599730
OP said awful covers, not based ones.

>>8599512
my boy got the texas tuck bulging at his tummy

>>8599749
Still terrible.

>>8599765
Terrific? Yes, I agree.

>>8599471

I guess it's sokoban?

> I'm Cool

>>8599507
Speaking of unfitting

Don't get me wrong, the art is cool, it's just
How hard they were trying to sell the game with it

> GREAT cover art thread

>>8599854
WELCOME TO THE FANTASY ZONE.

>>8599875
Is that Kim Basinger?

>>8599348

>>8599897
this unironically looks like pure kino

I swear anons just grab most of these from old digitiser2000 articles.

>>8599932
damn, photobashing has come a long way

>>8599348
I wonder what would have happened had Nintendo's Copyright infringement case concerning this game been thrown out of court, or even lost the case?

>>8599947
I don't think they ever went to court, the publisher backed out and pulled copies of the game when nintendo threatened to sue

>>8599348
>>8599947
Giana Sisters eventually got remade for DS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl-vRJuXK0A
Makes you wonder what counts as infringing on Super Mario Bros. copyright because it's still pretty much a clone of SMB.

>>8599348
>>8599698
>The brothers are history!
>>8599972
Doesn't look bad, to be honest. The Xbox 360 version is pretty good, from what I remember.

>>8599897
WE GOTTA MOVE THESE COLOR TEE VEEEEEEEEES

>>8599387
>nipples protruding
disrespectful
>bare feet
delectable

>>8599348
i thought this was a fallout image from the thumbnail, jesus christ, what an atrocious artstyle, my fucking eyes

>>8599365
Show flag so I can mercilessly mock you, and point out your hypocrisy.

>>8599420
My money is worth more than yours, and I tend to live longer on average. The latter is not a sign of poverty, dimwit.

>>8599749
Wow, such cope. So much in denial. Pathetic.

>>8599972
At this point in time Mario's pretty much historical so it's called homage. I tried the PS3 version of that and it was actually quite good. Has a nice little dimension switching mechanic.

>>8599972
It also got a new remake/game a few years back on PC and some other stuff. I have it in my Steam library. I don't remember buying it.

They completely fucked this cover up by cutting the mech off at the knees making it look cartoonish and miniature. it's supposed to be 10 stories tall

>>8600413
it had a new game and a soulless graphic remake of DS, I'm thinking of getting this for ios

>>8599897
I like this one.

>>8599348
because of its cover, that videogame looks like a feminist videogame.

>>8599348
They love Giana's what?

>>8599920
More like Kim Based-inger.

>>8600417
Mechlet.

>>8600561
How it looks to listen to Harold the Barrel by Genesis
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0O8vVGBH-Bs

>>8599348

>>8600023
That’s the way you do it

>>8599348
Looks like a flattering depiction of the typical wokeie. Not sure why you have a problem with it.

>>8599348
>>8599387
I remember finding a DS r4 card on a tour bus in NY and it had this on it along with some other games
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl-vRJuXK0A
Was the weirdest shit I ever played

>>8600058
>>8600048
What's you're national I.Q average?

>>8599932
Never knew I was able to play as Ronaldinho in Street Fighter.

>>8599348
EASY, almost evey US NTSC cover made

/THREAD

>>8600809
....

>>8600809
>What's you're national I.Q average?

>>8600058
You're a faggot, dude.

>>8600924
>>8600884
http://chartsbin.com/view/38925
https://jakubmarian.com/average-iq-in-europe-by-country-map/

https://me.me/i/national-iq-scores-average-intelligence-scores-99-108-91-98-83-90-74-82-4868050


https://www.zippia.com/advice/average-iq-by-state/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Ur71ZnNVk

American SH3 and 4 covers
I mean what the fuck

>>8601023
PAL covers are the best IMO but the NA cover for SH3 isn't too bad compared to the one for SH4 where they just put a spooky screaming ghost. Not a fan of the giant "3" on the JP cover of SH3

>>8601241
Looks like the cover for a really shitty, poorly recorded power metal album by a group of Lithuanians

>>8600528
giana's gianas

>>8601241
Youtube thumbnail tier

>>8600623
That's not so bad.
In fact it's one of those covers that only keep getting better the more you look at it.
>he's puking with his head in the bowl while in the middle of downing champagne directly from the bottle
>the indignant expression on the servant bringing more drinks straight to the toilet
>game title, which is also Willy's name, is sprayed on the walls
>despite the fancy suit, the newly rich Willy is still wearing his miner boots
>after nearly 40 years this is the first time I even notice there's a newspaper with Willy's face on it
>implying he's staring at his own picture in the newspaper while taking a shit
>composition, despite being really non-standard is actually good while also telling the game's story
>colours have good harmony
The only thing that kinda sucks about it is the pillow-shadey rendering.

>>8599387
This isn't bad, just weird.

>>8599365

>>8601438
>WHATS YOUR NAME SOLDIER??!!

>>8601438
USA version looks like it came out of the Potion Seller universe

>>8600023
my sides

>>8601438
>There are some who call me... Tim.

>>8601438
Why do japanese boys dress like that?

>>8601438
Good old Uğurcan Yüce.

>>8599926
this looks like an old video game cover you found at the garage of your grandparents house, covered in dust and very aged. something like founding an old torn paper

>>8599730
What the fuck are they trying to convey here?

>>8601612
Have you ever wondered what's going on in the worlds your ship flies by in shmups? It's pretty much that.

>>8601612
The game itself is a very middle of the road horizontal shooter. Phalanx would be long since forgotten if not for the memorable box art.

>>8600561
Truly terrifying

>>8601612
Most like some product manager told the cover artist "make something that stands out from the shelves" and the artist did exactly that.

>>8599772
Yes, it's a normal sokoban clone, except there are holes instead of walls, so you can die by falling or screw up by pushing crate there.

Obligatory.

>>8601612

"DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT RENT THIS GAME. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU."

>>8601612
The old geezer is a space war veteran, about to tell young 'uns the legend of Phalanx.

>>8601616
I wonder if the game sold well when released because of that? Were people drawn to space hillbilly shooters or did they say “what the fuck is this shit” and pick up Gradius 3 instead?

>>8601023
>>8601030
I never understood why Angela was on the western boxart for SH2 when she's barely in the game.

>>8601705
god i hate when suits meddle in shit

I'm still mad

>>8601864
>western
PAL version has Maria's eyes

Speaking of bad SH covers, because of the japanese cover I thought that the save point before double pyramid fight had some special meaning. Then again maybe it does, but those red post-it notes look retarded and out of place anyway so I don't care

>>8601398
Johnny Turbo in harder times

>>8602072
where's the "OVER 20 POUNDS OF PUSSY AND ASS!" badge?

>>8601705
Stay mad faggot. I used to think this shit was lame back then too but looking back, this is pure Y2Kino and superior to the criterion collection jap cover.

>>8601705
>>8603298
I never understood the hate for the American ICO boxart myself. It's not particularly great, but it's not that awful either.

>>8601891
The suits didn't meddle in anything. The American version came out first and the Japanese boxart didn't exists yet.

Is this awful or good I cant tell. Both?

>>8603383
It's like those mahjong games, it's gambling for pngs except this one is family friendly.

>>8601891
god i hate when diapers meddle in shit

I look at this box art, and have to ask if it was the artists first time using Photoshop ever?

And people make fun of Rob Liefeld's anatomy...

>>8603904
A fucking carrot

>>8599408
Horace is the "cow tools" of video games. It's obviously not an actual animal or humanoid thing, but it's also impossible to make sense out of its limbs... yet, the fact that it has obvious legs makes it even worse. What are the other appendages? What is it? How is this thing alive?

>>8604174
>What is it? How is this thing alive?
>when you suspend your suspension of disbelief

>>8600645
you play the geetar on the mtv

>>8600645
look at that faggot

>>8599507
What is an "Approved Sega Import" and what is a "Super Sega Reward"?

>>8599972
"Remade"
It's entirely new levels with new elements IIRC, but if you beat the game and get all red gems and secret levels without using a continue (very easy by gaining lives in the first secret stage), you unlock a special stage that's a remake of all the original stages in a single stage
This game was weird for a while because I remember it launched first in Germany, then took a while to release anywhere else. Then suddenly, without warning, it appeared in Wal-Marts in North America for extremely cheap (3DS was out already?)
I finished it, it's not much but it's quite nice. Trying to get all red gems is the real meat of the game

>>8599926
CAM ON ENGRLUND
SCORE SUM FACKIN GOALS

>>8599408
>>8604174
The title is intriguing and the game actually looks fine for its time and hardware

>>8600561
this is fucked up

>>8604174
This is the opposite of bad, this shit fucking ROCKS.

>>8599507
>>8600417
>>8601438
>>8601536
People may shit on it for often replacing Japanese game box art, but that 1980s hand-painted, hyper-realistic fantasy art was cool as fuck.

>>8603813
This is actually amazing and if you cant see that you have no sense of style

>>8599875
>>8599387

I want to FUCK the GREAT Giana sisters.

>>8604865
Even though it clashes with the in game art style i still think it looks pretty good.

>>8601856
Always wondered the same. I bought the game used for like 5 bucks and it's not good.

>>8604865
Pure peak white civ

>>8601705
I used to think this was actually fairly okay until I noticed the expression on the Ico. Like what the fuck kind of face is that?

>>8604865
>>8604984
oh, is that why people around here are horny for that style

>>8600417
>10 stories tall
40 feet

>>8603813
I like this actually, looks cool in a a shitty way

>>8603298
Only one seething is you, tranny.

>>8604865
agreed, love the look of the american Dragon Warrior cover too

>>8601438
From cute redheaded warrior princess to gay Chad Thundercock. In the middle, a typical American tard.

>>8604865
Gerald Brom's work is always amazing (I really like what he did for Heretic). The box art for Witchaven I & II licensed from Ken Kelly ("The End of Death" & the artwork originally made for "Marchers of Valhalla") are amazing too.

>>8603298
>Y2Kino
(You)

>>8601438

>>8601241
Does anyone remember a cartoon called Vicky The Viking? Is this based on that?

>>8599897
its a fucking mutt

>>8602240
>PAL version has Maria's eyes
Pretty sure it's Laura

>>8605240
Nah. The game is some weird polish shit where you play as a fairly well animated pudgy viking geezer roaming about a castle and awkwardly flailing at enemies

>>8600623
That's actually really good. Distinctive,well drawn and actually interesting.

>>8599972
cutest boxart, no regrets picking up a near mint copy just to 'mire that adorable soulful box.

>>8599404
Wow, it's been years since I've thought of this game. Didn't know it had a cover

>>8605319
>It's real!
>Oh but it's from the 2000s...

I hated Dashin' Desperados long before I ever played it. The box art is plain disgusting. The worst of the worst, in fact. It was so creepy my 18-year-old self was immediately repulsed by it - forever dooming my opinion of this game to negativity.

>>8604942
This is an amazing mid-late 20th century Sci-Fi novel cover, sure. Just looks fuck all like PSII

>>8610641
The neck (or lack thereof) caught me by surprise.

>>8609716

It's weird that those two obscure characters would go on to found an entire Zone in Sonic

>>8601023
damn, that middle in the top row is really good.

>>8601438
>barsoom
>brosoom
>barusomu

>>8601705
I wouldn't mind it if he had a better pose, this is just like the in between frame animation to a key pose, very awkward.
The giant head on the side is also unnecessary

>>8604865
I don't think anyone disagrees with that, is just some of those vidya covers look bad because it's poorly executed.

>>8605319
precursor to bamham city

>>8599348
Ugh

>>8610641

>>8610641

>>8611760
this is kino anon

>>8604301
THAT AIN'T WORKIN - THAT'S THE WAY YOU DO IT
MONEY FOR NOTHIN' AND YOUR CHICKS FOR FREE

>>8609716

>>8613245
Primus sucks

>>8600032
Philosopher king

>>8611760
Pure kino

>>8600793
it is very weird. fans of original version were left to wonder what in actual fuck was going on? i'm still confused by this modern version and has the replay value of a COVID infection.

>>8611760
>BASED ON THE REAL ARCADE GAME
as opposed to the fake arcade game?

>>8615343
I mean bootlegged arcade games were a thing.

>>8599897
us of a on the right

all us playstation covers were ugly af. mutts have no taste, even the console itself looks like shit compared to the rest of the world.

>>8611760
You may not like it, but that's what peak performance looked like back then.

>>8615571
They had to change the design because mutts put their drinks on their consoles:
>The original North American version, designed by Nintendo of America industrial designer Lance Barr (who previously redesigned the Famicom to become the NES), has a boxy design with purple sliding switches and a dark gray eject lever. The loading bay surface is curved, both to invite interaction and to prevent food or drinks from being placed on the console and spilling as had happened with the flat-surfaced NES.

>>8599730
I genuinely want a full game based on this cover
I'd play the hell out of a shmup where you're an old farmer on a backwater planet who uses his custom-tuned spaceship for bootlegging and outrunning and outgunning the cops. Your score at the end of a stage gets you money which you can spend to upgrade your ride, introduce a greater threat than the prohibition officers through some cutscenes between stages, have a standard big battle at the end, farmer goes back to his ways after it's wrapped up. Would be fucking kino if done right

>>8603813
Other than the lack of transparency for the bottom left image this doesn't seem that bad, it's stylized in a way. With the transparency error it's so-bad-it's-good but there was effort to it

>>8599932
why are they dropkicking that native man?

>>8599387
They're both bad but aside from the proportion issues the one you posted isn't *as* bad.

>>8599404
LOL this ones shitty but funny

>>8599471
this isn't even bad

>>8599348
In a competent artstyle they'd be hot

>>8599507
the proportion of the arm is bad but it's still a decent illustration

You guys seem to hate anything that isn't perfect

>>8611760
this is excellent art, you just don't like the unfamiliar depiction of the characters

>>8609716
the box art is fine, you just have mainstream tastes

>>8600623
>>8607082
my problem with this cover is that i can't figure out what the fuck i'm even looking at

like, it looks like someone skilled drew the thing, but i can't figure out what is what visually, it's spaghetti

>>8599932
audibly kek'd at picrel

>>8599408
You dare? Horace is pure kino.

>>8600676
Doesn't like the blatant false advertising.
>not ugly cover art

>>8601405
Looks pretty cool, like some teens first title.

N64 library is full of awful games

>>8618954
>>8618943
>nintendo seal of quality

han8r

>>8599348
>awful cover art
>posts an advertisement and not a cover
retard mutt detected

>>8603904
It looks like this was done by the guy who did the art for GameFAN magazine.

>>8618943
This was a multiplat that was also on PlayStation and Saturn.

>>8618943
That game was good and honestly one of the few good 3d beat em ups

>>8599348
>awful
Care to post some?

>>8601891
>>8601705
Look man. CG around 2000 was a space race to render human faces without it having that creepy ass uncanny valley to it.

PS2 sold itself on this whole "emotion engine". Having models that would move their mouth and eyes and everything in real time during gameplay instead of only happening in prerendered cutscenes, or just being a wooden doll.

The cover doesn't sell Ico, the cover is selling the PS2.

>>8618954
>chess
>...4players

>>8619429
Emotion engine actually meant spaghetti cpu structure.

>>8599387
the one you posted is the great cover

>>8619057
bursting with treats

>>8612646
>>8613952
>>8618045
eh the scaffolding looks really weird, like its totally flat. kinda love the monstrous dk though. wonder if it inspired the bosses for jungle beat

all mutt covers are awful

>>8618010
The composition is a complete clusterfuck and it's got pillow shading all over
The OP one isn't even bad just a somewhat weird art style.

Never forget what they did to ya boi Veigues

>>8618018
you could say that about any ugly drawing

>>8620356
i actually kinda like it
if dink smallwood is a greasy guy that is

>>8620356
this is a good one though

>>8599926
Old football games always had weird box art.

>>8620742
that's a soccer game nigel
says so right on the box

>>8604985
>Like what the fuck kind of face is that?
when you smell your own fart but kind of like the smell

>>8602240
I just think that cover diminishes the shock of seeing that save point. That first time seeing that huge mess of the red squares really gets the message across to fucking save and shit is a about to happen.

>>8618960
>>nintendo seal of quality
that just means the cart will work in the system and not explode it. It has never promised a good game.

>>8599926
Looks like the poster for an old Bollywood film.