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72674130 No.72674130 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

What is the dumbest spell?

>> No.72674170


>> No.72674207

crunchy snow. it does exactrly what it implies and it's level 2.

>> No.72674323

I believe that, out of any version of D&D, it's Snilloc's Snowball, while in Warhammer it's Protection from Rain.

>> No.72674430

>Protection from Rain is dumb
Normally I'd agree, but knowing nothing about Warhammer except "muh grimdark", wouldn't rain usually bring with it consequences of hypothermia or some shit? You'd think you'd want something that protects you, especially since umbrellas probably aren't a thing in a "historically accurate" setting.

>> No.72674446

Have Sex (Minor)

>> No.72674456

Yeah but magic has a chance of fucking up and tossing you into the warp or summoning daemons

>> No.72674468


>> No.72674515
File: 2.28 MB, 1920x954, mortal kombat.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I don't feel like OP's pic is related. Being able to turn your tongue into a giant snake would be an utterly fantastic assassin's tool to have in a low-fantasy setting.

>> No.72674593

Why does that matter, though? In ~40,000 years everything is going to be even more shit with nothing and nobody worth fighting for anyway.

>> No.72674607

Most people do not like being tortured for all eternity. I think 99% of people would rather deal with the rain.

>> No.72674735
File: 37 KB, 800x450, 498ed76be651cffb6bb9bac6a9bb75c3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Tongue turns into a venomous snake

>> No.72674852

Chaos encompasses the unseen, the unknown. It's presences defies even the time of it's own creation. That includes the afterlife. Who's to say you're not eternally tortured even if you're "God's" little good boy your entire life?

>> No.72674870

Sigmar protects

>> No.72674900

Does he? Where is he in the 41st millennium? What happens to all the souls in his domain when he's gone?

>> No.72674909

Different settings.

>> No.72674923

Oh wow, they can't even keep their own canon straight. Good job on them.

>> No.72674962

How do you know that for sure?

>> No.72674971

It's pretty obvious if you look into it.

>> No.72675124

In second edition of DND, there is a spell called "Relieve Labor Pain" or something like that. Its specifically for when someone is giving birth and you can make it so that the pain is reduced.

Well, guess what? Its reversible. Which means you can also MAKE the pregnancy more painful instead than it normally would be.

>> No.72675233

I would argue that a spell which gets a woman to stop bitching about something she asked for is quite smart to have.

>> No.72675693

A Rifts spell....

Range: 20 feet (6 m) or by touch.
Duration: Instant.
Saving Throw: None.
P.P.E.: Five
This spell causes brittle, comparatively fragile S.D.C. objects, like glass, ceramic pottery, china, hardened clay, sandstone, ice, peanut brittle, etc., to instantly shatter into hundreds of pieces with a mere touch or mean look (and foul intent). This spell is not effective against objects weighing more than 100 pounds (45 kg), Mega-Damage materials, magic items, flexible or elastic materials (cloth, plastic, rubber, etc.) and substances with the toughness of wood or better. Likewise, it can not be used against living beings (i.e. cannot shatter bone, claws, teeth or even finger nails) or Mega-Damage beings.

Save yourself the P.P.E and just hit it with a rock.

>> No.72676055

Probably something from fatal. Bigby's nipple elongation or whatever the fuck nonsense is in there.

>> No.72676204

Not originally.

>> No.72676311

Tenser's Floating Disk. It could have been just a "Bag of Holding" spell that changes a normal bag into something you can stick treasure into (you have to apply the spell every day or else the bag will burst open), but instead they make it into a giant, rimless platter which things can be piled onto. Even worse, the Disk is meant for one thing, and one thing only -- the words are so specific that the creative utility of a mobile disk you can use as a sheild, or platter, or magic carpet, and so on isn't possible. They take the best part about magic, and then spoil it.

>> No.72676363

I was about to mention that. I'm glad someone else sees the utter stupidity of it.

>> No.72676471

>can't sit on it
>can't use it to scale mountains
At that point why not just hire a donkey? You've wasted more time by bothering to learn or memorize that spell.

>> No.72676526

It's not about scaling mountains, it's using it as a stepladder, or a dartboard, or chair, or SOMETHING. You can make a disk, but you can't tilt it more than 15 degrees? It can't be used as a directional shield? You can't even SIT on it? The fuck is up with that? It's BULLSHIT. FUCK 5E SPELLS! FUCK THAT SHIT! FIRE SPELLS NEED TO SET PEOPLE ON FIRE GOD DAMN YOU PATHETIC HACKS!

>> No.72676652

I would say cover them in grease, but that spell doesn't conjure flammable material despite the material components being flammable.

>> No.72676855

My point exactly. 5e is terrible without homebrew.

>> No.72676921

>At that point why not just hire a donkey?

Because you're dumb enough to be both playing dnd and worrying about encumbrance, and therefore are mostly incapable of imagining possibilities that are not written on your character sheet

>> No.72676961
File: 38 KB, 296x341, 1583381541233.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Book of Erotic Fantasy spells

Oh no... no... please no...

>> No.72677064

A target can't bleed if all their blood is located in their genitals.

>> No.72677358

Imagine throwing fire at someone without a sticky flammable component. It'd be even worse than throwing a pure gasoline molotov.

>> No.72677368

I think there's something like a 3 in 10 chance when exposed to rain in WFRPG that your character dies instantly.

>> No.72677381

I can post Black Tokyo if you want.

>> No.72677410

It's been this way for ages, only hints are that they might be different universes impacted by the same chaos, but that's not really confirmed ever, and doesn't make much sense honestly.

>> No.72677434

In Pathfinder, there's a spell called Decollete. It's a fun little necromancy that allows you to remove your head from your neck for up to 24 hours. Immune to decapitation, and you get DR 2 and blindsense up to 15 feet, because you can't see through your eyes. Nothing major, and a nice party trick, right?

The kicker is it's a 5th level spell. You have to be level 9 at minimum to cast it, and it competes with other, better options. You could have a lot of fun with this spell, but by the time you get it you've got better things to prepare. I'd have put it at third level.

>> No.72679510
File: 20 KB, 500x367, carlos.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.72679554


>> No.72679573


>> No.72679580

Level 1, actually.

But yes, it's stupid, although there's no level lower than 1, so whatchagonnado?

Protection from Rain is fucking gold in Warhammer. Rain is a bitch. Gets you wet, cold, and gives you pneumonia. What the hell are you on about?

>> No.72679612

>umbrellas probably aren't a thing in a "historically accurate" setting.
Why the hell would you think that "tarp over stick" would be a modern invention?

A good wizard doesn't really have that problem with very minor spells like that. Wizards can learn minor magics that they cast with virtually zero chance for chaos fuckery. Of course, you'll slowly be influenced by that facet of chaos/wind of magic, but as a wizard breaking chaos down into "winds" and focusing on a single aspect like that, you've already accepted that fate.

>> No.72679627

>Where is he in the 41st millennium?
Wherever he wants to be, looking over his shard of creation, beyond a warp-storm.

Nope. Don't confuse End Times/Age of Smegmar with Warhammer Fantasy.

>> No.72679650

>can't sit on it
But you can

>> No.72679666

Rifts is fun but it has a lot of these...

Bone and Joint Bonding
Range: touch or 60 feet plus 20 feet pee level
Duration: permanent but can be chopped apart
Saving throw: n/a, used on dead bones
PPE: 2
tldr; this spell creates artificial sinew between bones because how else can your magical skeletons stay together and move without ligaments and muscle? No, the spells that animate them can't hold them together and make them move, why would you think that?! Can glue together one human sized skeleton per casting.

Honestly I'm not sure if it's worse having a shitty speedbump spell like this or that another one rearranges bones in correct order because at least that saves time but they're both such petty concerns in this system when you still only animate skeletons as SDC monsters.

>> No.72679758

That's illegal

>> No.72680115

Sounds like it's in the running for 'most likely to be graciously excluded by the GM' award

>> No.72680263

I'd certainly skip over them if running a game, and allow the higher level Animate Dead spells create MDC versions. Not much MDC, the point tends to be shambling hordes, but enough that a single laser pistol can't carve a smoking path through a whole skeleton army in one shot.

>> No.72681114
File: 65 KB, 265x370, Image.ashx.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Either this or One with Nothing.

>> No.72681159
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>> No.72681208
File: 47 KB, 700x512, Le Troll.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

True Strike
cantrip divination
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 30 feet
Components: S
Duration: Up to 1 round
Classes: Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
You extend your hand and point a finger at a target in range. Your magic grants you a brief insight into the target’s defenses. On your next turn, you gain advantage on your first attack roll against the target, provided that this spell hasn’t ended.

>You can use your entire action to not try and attack successfully. Then next round you can make 2 rolls to attack successfully, if one of the rolls is a success you hit once. Whereas you could try to hit them normally over these two rounds, potentially scoring TWO hits. Oh, and it's concentration, so if you are struck after you cast this spell, you could easily lose the entire effect and just have one normal chance to hit next round.

>> No.72681647

>although there's no level lower than 1
>what is a cantrip

>> No.72681665

...I mean it's good as a... non-dispellable Alarm?

>> No.72681681

>What happens to all the souls in his domain when he's gone?
They get reincarnated into a marginally less shitty universe. Thanks, Busigmar-kun.

>> No.72681700

Hey man I asked to have a job too, I'm still gonna bitch and moan about it (just out of earshot).

>> No.72681709

There's a lot of uses for this. A sneak attack giving you one round advantage, an attack with limited, powerful ammo, an enemy who does damage on a miss. It's not hugely useful, but being unable to see the benefits of improving your chances to hit on one attack as opposed to others is a foolish notion. There's a lot more dumber spells out there.

>> No.72681715

Animate Dead used more than once per day, or Summon spells for 8 creatures
4/5 minions is manageable, and you should just roll 4d20 and their damage in one go.
Players wanting to go "guh huh army" can fuck right off

>> No.72681755

Marginally, conditionally useful in edge cases I guess. Assuming you have literally no other way to get advantage (which is fucking retarded because the main reason you would want advantage with the time to spare is to snipe someone, and then you'd get the same benefit in the form of targeting an enemy who doesn't know the attack is coming).
It says a lot when you have a cantrip and no reason to use it.

>> No.72681768
File: 40 KB, 400x613, catherine.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.72683962

Knowing nothing about magic, is there truly no way to swap this into your opponent's hand and force them to play it?

>> No.72684006

Even fucking 4e allowed for creative use of rituals.

>> No.72684020

Disrobe was OP.

>> No.72684029

That's what makes it dumb.

>> No.72684042

I prefer summoning Snail Knight.

>> No.72684049

Arnold Goblin is based, though.

>> No.72684100

Was the last time you read Warhammer/40k lore in the 90s? Its been 30 years dude, move on.

>> No.72684104

It's good for getting advantage when you use up your Big Spell next turn.

>> No.72684113

shadow of the demon lord had that spell that made people shit themselves innit

>> No.72684196

summon helpful human for several hours is fucking fantastic

It's like an invisible servant except one with an intelligence score. Do you know what you can do with that? A pretty decent amount of labour.

>> No.72684499
File: 108 KB, 500x455, for-mocking-his-peoples-slavery-under-the-pharoahs-the-count-16029219.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Increase/decrease gear limit from Shadowrun. I get how it works and why it's useful, but it's so ridiculously gamey and doesn't make sense in-universe, reminds me of pic related.

>> No.72684632

There was a 3.5 spell which name I dont' remember but worked something like:
When you're flatfooted you can cast this spell to stop being flatfooted and even act in surprise turns.
It had cast action: Immediate action.

The stupidity lays in that you don't can't take immediate actions if you're flatfooter or were caught by surprise. So the spell could never ever be used.

>> No.72684633

Polymorph self: chicken

>> No.72684668

From Fatal:

Jar of Jacking Off: "Whenever a male opens this jar, they must pass a Drive sub-ability check at TH 80 or be compelled to force their fuckstick into the jar. Once inside, the jar will inexplicably grip it firmly and jerk it to completion, even against the will of the opener. Upon completion, the cummer[sic] must roll percentile dice. If the results are 01-10, then the jar becomes pregnant. If the jar is pregnant, it will not allow itself to be opened, but will care for the fetus within, which will be heard screaming by others within 1d100 feet day and night. After 9 months of fetal torture, the child will be born and the jar will break. If the jar is broken during its pregnancy, then the dying and twitching fetus will explode after 1d6 rounds of twitching. The explosion will cause 1d4 Life Points of sonic damage to all within 1d4 miles. Baby parts are inexplicably everywhere. When born, the baby will be Unethical Immoral (translation: Chaotic Evil), will serve the father loyally, will obsessively collect jars, and seem to be male but have no penis, but oversized testicles, which can never ejaculate. Therefore, this child will be forever frustrated. Any child of a jar will insist that others call them “Chucky."

>> No.72684954

Wow, that's awful for a fuckin host of reasons, not just the disgustingly edgy cringe flavour.

>> No.72685166

this can't be fucking real
my sides

>> No.72685287

Hive Mind.

>> No.72685675
File: 213 KB, 630x2988, autonomous spellcasting golem invents spells.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.72686053

This might be the most disgusting and honestly disturbing thing I have ever read in my life.

That's enough /tg/ for today.

>> No.72686164

That's not a spell.

>> No.72686186

fatal was a mistake

>> No.72686224

It sounds 100% magic

>> No.72686258

Casting "Reply to faggot" spell.

>> No.72686282
File: 79 KB, 1024x1046, 1534729692717.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.72686786
File: 70 KB, 518x547, fatal.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You want a fucking spell? here's a fucking spell

>> No.72686859

One would assume the spell to make such an item is available to be cast.

>> No.72688224

>Range: Touch
Oh I see.
>If the target creature resists being touched
Of course, you're trying to touch his balls.
It just happens one time? It's like a gag?

>> No.72688272

>Protection from Rain is fucking gold in Warhammer.
You forgot the part where it scares the local peasants into attack your group.

>> No.72688334
File: 53 KB, 640x614, 1550384751529.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

fuck yeah this is cool as hell

>> No.72689781

Avada Kedavra. It's Green for Kermit's sake!!

>> No.72690165

I think losing the use of your tongue is a manageable cost to a spell that lets you conjure and control a venomous snake, but you'd indisputably be better off if you *didn't* have to make the snake out of your own tongue.

>> No.72690742

It would probably better be called Lucky and Unlucky Item or something like that. But as seen by argle bargle foo faw, the don't know how to do good bad righting.

>> No.72691162

>She is especially eager to obey any commands, as long as they are phrased politely.
"Now, Catherine, would you kindly head to Ryan's office and kill the son of a bitch?".

>> No.72691837

Reminds me of Searing Seed from the Dragon article advertising the Book of Vile Darkness. Somehow it had nastier spells than the Book itself, with this being maybe the worst. Fired a ray of black-red fluid at someone and forced a Fort save. Success took 10d6 damage, fsilure was no dsmage but in 3 rounds they gorily give birth to a half-fiend copy of theirself, women taking 3d6 Con drain and men 6d6 for not being designed to give birth. The spawn's fitt goal is to murder their parent, but was loyal to the caster. So I guess a more useful version of that Jar spell?

>> No.72693659

>wall of storm
hey fuck you that isnt dumb, its awesome

>> No.72693927
File: 77 KB, 312x445, x.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not really. In MtG, cards have controllers (person in possession of the card at that instant) and owners (the literal owner of the card). You can trade control of the card just fine, but the rules are super strict about keeping the owners distinct. You can't put a card you don't own into your library, hand, graveyard or basically anywhere not in play to avoid any questioning about which card is whose.

The only card I'm aware of that lets you put a card you own into someone's hand is X, which was released in a self-contained set designed for drafting. He's not legal in any format.

>> No.72693989

That's not dumb though. It's fucked up.

>> No.72694056

*_* please tell me this isn't real.

>> No.72694129

One with nothing is good in dedicated dredge builds

>> No.72694166

Work on your art

>> No.72694169

>Summon ass
Why do I need a spell for that when I can just post the board mascot?

>> No.72694209

there is no way to put it in your opponents hand but there a certainly ways to make your opponent cast the card >>72685287 being the easiest way.

>> No.72694249

Without the pregnancy shit this thing may have had its uses. Mostly for pleasure

>> No.72695125

>all of these shameless newfags
lurk more

>> No.72695987

The spell names in the book are All gamest genarics mages tend to call there spells something different so the paralysis spell are for example commonly "sleep" spells he's not casting 5 power fire ball its magma blast ect .

>> No.72696008

Didn't you die?

>> No.72698214

Well that's not ideal, but that's what Olag and his group of hammer-wielding delinquents is for.

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