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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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55464005 No.55464005 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

The local noblewoman decides to cut the middleman and kidnap your character for a lovely night.

What do you do?

Bonus question: She wants to marry your character.

>> No.55464030

B E G O N E T H O T
E
G
O
N
E

T
H
O
T

>> No.55464102

>>55464005
>kidnap your character for a lovely night.
she could have asked
>She wants to marry your character.
I see a poisoning in her future

>> No.55464190

>>55464005
...she wants to kidnap a drow thief street urchin? A *female* drow thief stree urchin? And marry her?

I think my character gets the Hell out of dodge lest the crazy is contagious.

>> No.55464255

>>55464005

Tell her the Goddess of Blacksmiths has me on a sacred quest, and if the Noblewoman wants to marry me she's going to have to take it up with my patron Goddess first.

>> No.55464284

What madness is that ? Aren't Knights supposed to be the ones that rescue princesses and steal away passionnates moments from them instead of the opposite ? Beside, isn't that forbidden love ?

>> No.55464338

>>55464284
Jeez, get a load of this guy and his stuffy outdated gender roles.

>> No.55464352

>>55464005
>kidnapping a warrior of the true gods
>southern woman
are you sure shes as she seems? thats an impressive feat all things considered- perhaps marriage might be on the cards

the raiding in non negotiable however

>> No.55464359

>>55464005
Depends on the night, dinner wouldn't be out of the question but anything further and the Misses would breaker her then him in half.

>> No.55464440

>>55464005
If she wants the lizar-D who am I to refuse?

>> No.55464501
File: 656 KB, 972x454, 1462689009954.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55464501

>>55464005

Unrelated question: did noblewomen in Europe use that much make-up/eye-liner/eye-shadow during the middle ages?

>> No.55464517

>>55464005
I try to carefully explain that while the society can probably withstand the shock of a human-dwarf marriage, human-dwarf lesbian marriage is just a step too far.

>> No.55464778

>>55464005
As a loyal servant of the Omnissiah, he's prepared to consider any non-heretekal means of increasing the influence of the Cult Mechanicus. Just give him a few minutes to attach the appropriate cybernetics...

>> No.55464825

>>55464005
Escape, duh

>> No.55464883

>>55464005
>What do you do?
Remind her that kidnapping is wrong and unnecessary before spending the evening fucking a child into her.
>Bonus question: She wants to marry your character.
Agree, as long as I can continue improving my fortunes through adventuring.
Then I continue fucking a child into her.

>> No.55464894

>>55464190
She just wants pure love mixed with the lewdness of an Elf anon, you can't blame her for that.

>> No.55465007
File: 122 KB, 750x750, 1460317523885.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55465007

W-what

>> No.55465013

>>55464501
>Yen
>Play gwent
Yen doesn't do anything fun. There's why you should fuck the red heads

>> No.55465032

>she wants to marry a war robot
Politely ask what the fuck is wrong with her and attempt to leave. If she persists, her and/or her guards get shown the door.

By which I mean the dragonbone-reinforced door my character uses for a shield/makeshift bludgeoning weapon. Quite forcefully.

>> No.55465086

>>55465007
She wants to bone.

>> No.55465098

by local do you mean abyssal because that's where we are at the moment

>> No.55465102

>>55465013
Gamewise, Triss was just too young for Geralt. I don't mean pure age, I meant in life experience. He's getting ready to settle down at his vineyard and her career is just ramping up in !Norway.

>> No.55465107

>>55464005
My character tries to argue politely that she doesn't swing that way, is much older than her, technically dead and already happily married anyway. If the lady still can't be reasoned with, she's getting poisoned and raised as a ghoul so as not to arouse suspicions too fast. But she was already crazy to begin with if she wanted to marry a lich, so I suppose the people wouldn't notice too fast.

>> No.55465118

>>55465013
yen best girl

>> No.55465143

>fancy lady wants orking
>ork fancy lady good
>fancy lady no want let me leave
>ork fancy lady harder
>fancy lady sleep now
>need leave to friends now
>guards won't let leave yet
>ork fancy lady in front of them
>they no like
>WAAAAAAAAAAAGH
>oh no
>blood everywhere
>need go
>why fancy lady want ork while covered in blood
>must jump window
>broke arm in fall
>forgot armor
>guards don't like me saying sorry
>i thought saying sorry was supposed to help
>keep running
>orksorrywebannefromtownagain.jpg

>> No.55465153
File: 21 KB, 186x212, rance11.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55465153

>>55464005
That's new. It's usually the other way around.

>> No.55465307
File: 338 KB, 1050x1500, c2c063d30aac2e7503e613f8e41e546e.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55465307

Lady, I am His Wrath made manifest, please unhand me.

>> No.55465407

>>55465032
>Such pheromone-driven human responses never cease to decrease the charge in my capacitors and make me wish I could press a blaster pistol to my behavior core and pull the trigger

>> No.55465462

>>55465153
you are the test subject to a new breed of hyperweapon

>> No.55465544
File: 417 KB, 800x800, baron.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55465544

>>55465098
Yes

>> No.55465657

>>55464005
Marry, poison, leave/get money.

Being an assassin is e z

>> No.55465795

>>55464005
>Be a commoner cook/not magical surgeon/healer

Is this legal? Won't nobles look down on her?

>> No.55465916

>>55464005
I enjoy a pleasant dinner with her and then I start figuring out the ins and outs of her country's marriage and succession laws so I can ensure that I achieve a higher station than her and can gradually influence the courtiers of other counts/earls nearby to support my claim to the duchy.

Crusader Kings is a hell of a drug.

>> No.55466351

>>55464005
Very little, he's a lizardman and mating season just ended.

Like, he could try, but unless she knows how to induce heat, the best he can do is make her a gourmet meal.

>> No.55466718

>>55464030
this

>> No.55466738

What kind of noblewoman would find herself attracted to a half elf female witch hunter that by all respects resembles a cocaine addict?

>> No.55466914

>Aggressive older lesbian with money and social status

I'm 100% okay with this. I hope my new wife lets me raid and pillage her rivals, or at least challenge them to duels.

>> No.55466938

>>55465013
Triss is a backstabbing petulant cunt.

>> No.55467082
File: 1.38 MB, 245x118, 1465720754521.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55467082

>the local noblewoman wants the horribly disfigured feral world grotesquely muscle bound mutant whose only form of social skill is intimidate

He's down with it.

>> No.55467939
File: 176 KB, 1065x1400, The Marvelous Shota Noble.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55467939

>>55464005
>How old is she?

>> No.55468102

>>55464005
Bang her, steal her shit and gtfo.

>> No.55468205

>>55464005
>Character is a Changeling Gravewalker-witch with a death fetish-doll familiar.
Calmly and politely explain that I'm pretty sure most people would avoid blatantly marrying a necromancer

>> No.55468226 [SPOILER] 
File: 20 KB, 500x367, 1505852696146.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55468226

>>55465086
This is for you

>> No.55468269

>>55467939
Gentleman doesn't ask such a questions.
She wouldn't mind if you call her mom though.

>> No.55468271

>>55466738
Are we talking 2000's street-crazy or Freud high society cocaine addict?

>> No.55468318

>>55464501
It varied from region to region and time to time. Everything from "Zero makeup" to "Literally hiring a professional painter to literally paint a different face over yours."

>> No.55468337

>>55464005
Damn the witcher was just waifu bait everywhere. Shit wasn't fair.
>>55465013
>>55465102
>>55465118
I was firmly on team yen untill I cucked her the first time. "I guess you got your wish." Diamonds.
Then you pick the fight with her over throwing the bed out the window and she comes off as petulant because she's still in love with Geralt. I can only fap so hard.

>> No.55468369

>>55468337
you are a bad person and deserve bad end

>> No.55468389

>>55464005
>flamboyantly homosexual anthro fox thief
GM thinks it's his magical realm versus mine, but it's actually his badly made NPCs versus my ability to steal everything and abscond.

>> No.55468434
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55468434

>>55468271
Something along these lines.

Officially, witch hunters within the setting are not too dissimilar from Witchers, in that they've been subject to dangerous alchemical experiments. The end result is an IC explanation for higher-than-average ability scores (compared to a normal civilian) but ultimately ravages their physical appearance.

>> No.55468458

>>55464030
WTF does "thot" even mean?

>> No.55468488

>>55468458
Them/those hos over/out there.

>> No.55468493

>>55468458
That
Ho
Over
There

>> No.55468510

>>55467082
Nobles are degenerate like this

>> No.55468564

>>55468389
SWIPER NO SWIPPING!!!

>> No.55468584

>>55468488
>>55468493
Wow, this explains a lot. Thanks fellow anons.

>> No.55468677

>>55468564
Fuck.

>> No.55468876

>>55468458
Orcish for undesirable whore

>> No.55468921

>>55464005
You could have saved a lot of time if you just asked

>> No.55469054

>>55468269
I guess, he would agree, as long as she isn't into some weird shit, on that point, he is rather shy, but to be fair, since the last time he got laid, he woke up in a Cult that wanted to bring the End Times, not without suspicion. Marrying would be far more complicated, since he is the son of a high noble. To be fair, in his own homecountry, they guys are bit more shilled about love marriage than in other places, but it could still be problem. Also, she would get into rivalvry with a overprotective bodyguard maid wielding a giant flail and a young werewolf that he has some gay vibes with, but this is more a running gag between me and the player of the character.

>> No.55469205

>>55468876

This is now canon in my setting, thank you anon.

>> No.55469300

>>55464005
There is a lot of thirst in that image.

>> No.55469812

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8pN8kroNUI

I certainly wouldn't say no to Anna Henrietta

>> No.55469840

>>55464501
>i wish vesemir was here
Me too, man. Me too

>> No.55469928
File: 222 KB, 1680x1050, kenshin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55469928

>>55465153
>That's new

>> No.55469996

>>55468458

Get with the times old man, asking that is totally not lit.

>> No.55470463
File: 134 KB, 1404x730, 1404974451966.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55470463

>>55464005

>Personality center activation. Sub-awareness logs indicate 1,217 years have passed from previous activation.

>Repair systems report internal reaction mass exhausted 899 years prior, solar collection mesh spread across 3.4 acres. Efficiency reduced 19% by presence of local plant growth.Repairs from internal and locally available resources have restored 28.7% combat functionally.

>Reason for activation determined: human speaking to right optical cluster and claimed ownership of unit.

>Human female approximately 1.52 meters in velvet dress. 25% probability the dress is a decedent of Concordant Officer's dress uniform (female variant 2). She is standing in rain.

>Adjust VLS hatch seventeen to 46 degrees to provide rain shelter. Human female is attempting to give commands. Stated command: To provide a social escort for the night.

>Heuristics suggest 89% chance this mission will result in no combat. Human female shows no sign of leavening without a response. Additional data: Human female claims responsibility for the light organic ropes tied across this unit.

>Hyper-heuristic mode engaged for 2.75 seconds, an very, very long time to consider a choice. Decision reached. Personnel hatch four open, ramp extended.

"BOLO 31/B-0095-DVE 'DAVID' OF THE DIACHROME BRIGADE ONLINE. WELCOME COMMANDER. PLEASE EXCUSE THE DUST"

...

"MARRIAGE PROPOSAL ACCEPTED"

>> No.55470648

>>55464005
Ask the one question any self respecting dwarf would ask

>IS THERE BOOZE INVOLVED?

>> No.55470749
File: 103 KB, 283x244, 48a[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55470749

>>55464005

>Kidnapping a pious mercenary of the god of senseless destruction

This... ain't gunna end well.

>> No.55470807 [SPOILER] 
File: 105 KB, 310x316, 1505863004151.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55470807

>>55464005
How the minty-fresh FUCK did she even notice him?
No, seriously. He sacrificed the ENTIRE. UNIVERSE knowing he EXISTS in a pact with an incredibly powerful dragon.
The GM better have some damn good reason for this bullshit, and I won't accept "lolshe'sasecretJurgandagent".
But assuming the impossible has somehow happened, she's probably still not noticed his yandere fairy familiar who has a habit of disappearing those who so much as slightly hinder my character, usually with him finding this out after the fact.
This is going to end badly. Pic related, it's how the fairy familiar do.

>> No.55470832
File: 96 KB, 640x360, 1497668176468.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55470832

>>55464005
>Welcome to the BONE ZONE

>> No.55470888

My fat manticore riding hobbit would happily indulge the woman, and marry her.

>> No.55470904

>>55464005
He undresses with a vacant expression and remains standing and motionless while the french-speaking awakened giant centipede living in his abdominal cavity services her ladyship.

>> No.55470997

>>55465307

>She wants the fist

>> No.55471092
File: 149 KB, 800x680, Perty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55471092

>>55470997
>COME AND FIST ME ROGAL

>> No.55471220

my bard is the 19th in a series of lorekeeper bards to take this specific title and mask and can't have intimate relationships at the risk of not training an apprentice before retiring.

Part of the job is maintaining the appearance of being the same person as the former owner of the title and mask so that the title itself is a legend.

tl;dr CG bard with a TN life quest that would be overcomplicated by intimacy

>> No.55471348

>>55465143
This is why you don't play a charisma orc

>> No.55471420 [SPOILER] 
File: 356 KB, 678x885, 1505865342646.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55471420

>>55464005
The kidnapping for duplicitous and often sexual means? That happens probably once a week. Perks of having 6 INT, a trusting disposition, and abs for days.

The marriage on the other hand might be a problem, considering he's technically the crown princess of a castle he's never been to, and also a kobold mafia heir. Convincing the royal family that this isn't some kind of diabolic plot by the rest of the party might be a problem.

>> No.55471444

>>55464005
Kidnap my character?
Is she trying to commit suicide?

>> No.55471473
File: 122 KB, 730x1095, essentials__dolli_dallydans_by_maelora69-d7d5143.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55471473

>>55464190
>not kidnapping drow thief ladies

Kidnapping drow/orc chicks would be my favorite hobby if I were a nobleman in whatever fantasy setting we are talking about.

>> No.55471637

>>55471473
I'd rather be kidnapped by them

>> No.55471708
File: 64 KB, 749x779, 1505687676347.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55471708

>>55468493
>>55468488
Sounds like niggerspeak to me

>> No.55471734

>>55471708
Probably because it is

>> No.55471809

>>55471708
>>55471734
And yet I only ever hear it here

>> No.55471827

>>55471809
Because it became a meme and white people started using it so they probably had to come up with something else.

>> No.55472324

>>55468337
>>55469812
Anna wasn't even the best girl in her own damn dlc. It's fucking ridiculous

>> No.55472589

>>55470463
Underrated.

>> No.55472601

>>55471809
because only ghetto niggers speak it as well as white trash/wanna be gangster

>> No.55472747

>>55470463
best response.

>> No.55472766
File: 41 KB, 500x333, Lead-Laced-Face-Powder.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55472766

>>55464501
Oh yeah! European noblewomen used to overkill on the makeup. Fake moles, excessive blush, and bright red lipstick (this varied from place to place as lipstick was synonymous with being a harlot or a prostitute in some countries). Eye shadow wasn't really a thing yet but covering your entire face in white face powder was. Best part was this powder was usually lead based and cause rashes to appear on the skin. And so they'd put more on to cover up the rashes and then oops they're dead from lead poisoning.

>> No.55472813

>>55464005
"Fucking nobles"

>> No.55472922

>>55465307
This actually raises a question. Are the Iron Fists one of the chapters that allows their marines to have families back home or are they one of the chapters with asexual human killing machines in their ranks?

>> No.55473037

>>55468269
Aaaaaaaaaand we have found my magical realm!

>> No.55473063

>>55468876
Consider it stolen.

>> No.55473086
File: 1.93 MB, 356x200, hoodlmao.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55473086

>>55471809
They post among us.

>> No.55473196

>>55472324
Wait, who is in your opinion? Because every other choice seems like shit. And don't say Regis.

>> No.55474061
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55474061

>>55467939
>/ss/

>> No.55474141

>>55473196
>Implying Regis isn't best girl
>Orianna
>Syanna
>Vivienne

>> No.55474199

>>55471708
As a nigger from Compton, only dudes in open say this and only because they have no idea what else to do.

>> No.55474331

>>55464005
My guy would have a lot of explaining to do...

He's in a committed relationship with an overbearing women who gets mad anytime he talks with a women outside of the party. No it's not a PC, it's an NPC.

He loves her despite this and is trying to make her more trusting

>> No.55474379

>>55464005

Is she hot?

>> No.55474488

>>55464005
Already in a Bakuman deal with a childhood friend/fellow cleric which I was playing in another campaign (same setting, different DM). Thus I point her in the direction of one of the more promiscuous party members (read: all of them, especially the ones with female players).

>> No.55474780

>local noblewoman
The last campaign my group participated in took us to a research facility dedicated to combating dangerous computer viruses, up to and including sapient ones. Said research facility also had more budget than sense, and it was short on sense to begin with. If any of researchers tried to describe themselves as a "local noblewoman" I would be mildly disturbed, but not at all surprised that this is happening. If any of the VIRUSES were doing this, I'd be even more concerned, because it's either been altered in such a manner that it's created a program that thinks itself a "noblewoman" or these fucking things have developed CULTURE. The fact that I still wouldn't be surprised in any of these cases probably says a lot about the things we had to deal with there.

>What do you do?
Well, I assume that OP implies that she/it was somehow successful in kidnapping me, so for starters, I am making a mental note to shout at Command until my lungs hurt once I get out of here. Second, my team recruited me because of my hacking skills, so I'd get to work trying to subvert this princess virus thing that's taken me prisoner, and if not successful, at the very least stall the thing to the point where my team can try to mount a successful rescue. Perhaps try to interrogate it if hacking attempts prove unsuccessful, see what its plan is and if it's just mad or if it has ulterior motives. Third, hope to god that this thing's interest in organics is just a one-off thing. I really don't want to make dealing with lesbian stalker viruses a routine. If it has the face of Sigma I simultaneously laugh my ass off and punch DM in the arm.

>Bonus question: She wants to marry your character.
Not a question. But does tie back into my answer. Silently hope she doesn't plan to consummate, and if she does, consciously do not ask how she plans to.

The fact that this IS kinda similar to an event that DID happen in the campaign amuses and worries me.

>> No.55474869
File: 258 KB, 1000x722, 6fd7ea1eb0215f8226a62fb1cc7aec11.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55474869

Question. What would happen if I say no? I'm pretty much on a forever escort mission and I'm too damn busy to get marry to some lady.

The monsters ain't gonna kill them selves, the evil dude ain't gonna stop being a evil shat, and the world ain't gonna save itself!

>> No.55474969

>>55464005
Well, for one thing she looks 14, so that's really, really inappropriate. Second, she's a she, and that looks even worse. Third, she's scared to death of physical intimacy, because the last time she had that experience it was during her brother's rape, which she was really apologetic about committing. That leads into the fourth thing, where she's the daughter of a hag, and the first and only time she had any physical intimacy her mother had possessed her and used her body to rape her stepbrother, so that REALLY bad..

So she probably uses her unnatural strength to rip the open the windows regardless of any bars, and hurls herself out so she can float to the ground unharmed and run the hell away.

>> No.55474992

>>55464005
>What do you do?
Whatever it is, I refuse to do it sober.

>> No.55475037

>>55468458
Greek spelling of the Egyptian God of Literacy.

>> No.55476385

>>55474969
the hell is she, a homunculus?

>> No.55476397

she can marry him, but he's a barbarian and unlikely to put much stock in the bonding ceremonies of civilized folk.

>> No.55476427

That depends, how powerful of a noblewoman is she? What would I get out of this? I'll not marry some impoverished noble who's simply looking to save her pathetic house by marrying into mine

>> No.55476621

Okay, well look, lady. I may be magically compelled to follow the orders of nobles, but I'm also magically compelled to be loyal to my fiancé, so I don't think this is going to work out.

>> No.55476680

>>55470463
Bolo a best husbando.

>> No.55476700

>>55474780
>Tsundere Shodan.jpg

>> No.55476719
File: 488 KB, 1178x834, Dozer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55476719

>Kidnapped for a lovely night
Look, Lady, I know I have a reputation. Never thought it'd get all the way out here, admittedly. But it's still gotta be me that comes to you, or at the very least you need to ASK.

I'm leaving now, and if this happens again you're going to hear from a military tribunal.

>And then hopefully it ends. But if not
>Ohoho, you can't leave
Make that you're hearing from that tribunal as soon as I get back to base.

>Guards!
My superiors ain't gonna look favorably on accomplices to the kidnapping of a Wachtmeister. This is your one chance to walk away and avoid the shitstorm that's about to descend on this manor.

>Guards don't see reason
https://youtu.be/2hXXfXP94vQ?t=1m2s

>Guards incapacitated or dead
>Pick up chloroform rag as evidence
>Skedaddle


>Bonus: Creepy marriage demands and/or screeching as he walks away
>Leave several tank shaped holes in her moldy old mansion on the last day the unit's in the area in the dead of the night, long gone before any retribution can be enacted

>> No.55476755

>cut the middleman
what middleman?

>> No.55476811

>>55464005

Former agent of the crown, now mercenary/treasure hunter. Kidnapping him wouldn't be easy.

If she wants to bed him she does not need to kidnap him, unless she's very homely.

She wants to marry him? He'd be looking for the catch, but generally would be open to it.

>> No.55476944
File: 169 KB, 1016x835, mech-concept-art-925340901.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55476944

>>55464005

I AM VERY SORRY MA'AM, BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN DESIGNED TO FULLFILL THIS FUNCTION. FURTHERMORE MY DUTY IS THE PEOPLE OF MARS.

>> No.55477013
File: 952 KB, 679x960, Stardust Crusader.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55477013

>Bounty hunter from a distant planet
No way fag, humans are disgusting

>> No.55477066
File: 69 KB, 660x350, Akodo Samurai.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55477066

>>55464005
>The local noblewoman decides to cut the middleman and kidnap your character for a lovely night.
This is abduction of a servant of the Emperor. But I will show leniency so she won't have to commit seppuku or anything. We will probably have a duel on our hands however: I hope she doesn't have a crane champion.

>What do you do?
I will defend myself as I would against any bandits trying to kill or abduct me.

>Bonus question: She wants to marry your character.
Good luck with that, I'm behind an Otomo and a former Crane Samurai. We have enough Nakado that she will probably be the last woman considered to marry me.

>> No.55477095
File: 653 KB, 700x993, General_Nicolas_Guye883.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55477095

>>55464005
>The local noblewoman decides to cut the middleman and kidnap your character for a lovely night.
Considering he's a nobleman as well, he'd be very confused as to why she didn't just ask him to stay to discuss some trivial matter. Maybe she's into some weird shit?

>Bonus question: She wants to marry your character.
>And inherit his duchy
No dice, bitch

>> No.55477103

>>55477095
In what kind of pleb world do you live in where your WIFE and not your Sons and Daughters inherit your Duchy?

>> No.55477127

>>55477103
If there aren't any children in the line, and she poisons me, then the Duchy would likely pass to her earlier children, which I'm assuming exist. Grand Duke Igor Felix Naryshkyn, House Yousoupoff is having no part in that.

>> No.55477134

>>55464030

When I first saw this phrase, I thought it meant "I don't want to think anymore."

I interpreted "thot" as a misspelling of "thought".

>> No.55477180

>>55477127
Not in any successor options I know of.

It would pass to a relative of yours who has a claim or another claimant with a strong claim on it. Your wife, unless she has a claim on it beforehand, does not get an automatic claim on your duchy just because she married you, neither do her children.

Unless in your fantasy setting it's different, in which case my previous points are invalild.

>> No.55477748

>>55476944
Machines need not apply.

Did you play a biological creature some time ago?

>> No.55477759

>>55476811
Is he handsome like James Bond?

>> No.55477836

>>55471220
You are the first bard who would not jump at the opportunity to bone a noblewoman.

Wow, see everything once am I right?

Are you a wingman for the rest of the party?

>> No.55477846

>>55470904
What system did you play?

>> No.55478000

>>55467082
I would also not pass up such a hunk.

>> No.55478876

>>55464005
Play along?
I assume his regiment is on peacekeeping duty, so really saying no to planetary Nobility may get him in more trouble than it's worth.
Let's just hope the Commissar doesn't notice him when he comes back into base. Having been "kidnapped" probably won't fly.

>> No.55478993
File: 44 KB, 433x547, Raptor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55478993

>>55464005
Ma'am, this is a really, REALLY bad idea. Be as composed of raw, rugged sex appeal as I may, you haven't seen the Nails take over yet, and I pray you never do.

But, what I will do, is accept your proposal in a loving embrace, then jump out the window and sail away all melodramatic like.

>> No.55479061

>>55464005
Acquiesce. Kill her mid-coitus. Pin the murder on a duke who gave me his pin as a token of favor for a mission. Later, murder the duke and bring his head to the deceased noblewan's husband. Ask for the duke's lands and to become a vassal of the nobleman (also, the duke's wife and daughters). No less for a loyal servant, right?

>> No.55479256

>>55464005
Once he's moved twenty feet from his charge he'll just teleport back to her side again. He can't keep it from happening so the noblewoman is going to have find another husbando to warm her bed.

Half-alive-half-ghost dick is probably really cold anyway.

>> No.55479402

>>55472766

That shit ain't medieval

>> No.55479476

>>55464005
>noblewoman
Fuck me, mate, never thought those existed no more.
>She wants to marry your character
Ya see, miss, thing is, I'm already married.
>lovely night
I ain't buggering her if that's what she means.

>> No.55479490

>>55468876
>tfw you're so thot that a pillaging orcish raider won't even rape you

>> No.55479655

>>55471473

> not having Orcwomen/amazon/Drow bodyguards and advisers at all times.

>> No.55479748

>>55471809

White people's culture literally is stealing shit from foriegners.

>Colonialism
>Rock and Roll
>most lingo and slang,
>all those hipster etsys selling native american shit
>the fact that most christian holidays are just reskinned pagan ones
>the fact that christianity was literally from the middle east
>English is literally 70% loanwords from other languages
>Constitution is copied from Iroquois Confederacy
>the fact that communism was uniquely european and it's the epitome of "steal shit from others and share it amongst outselves"
>Southern food
>modern fashion

Real whiteness is copying black culture, /pol/

>> No.55479947

>Hypernaive virgin monk

It probably starts with confusion and profuse apologizing and ends with the monk fleeing from the town after having accidentally punched her kidnapper into a coma

>> No.55479986

>>55465007
>>55465086
>Cute shy princess with French accent hounded by massive skeletal knight bodyguards

Necromancers rejoice.

>> No.55480276

>>55479748
I didnt know that romans stole the coliseum from africans. Or that King Arther was kangz.

>> No.55481056

>>55464005
My character has had pretty much no positive interactions with the local nobility. They always try to fuck me over or use me to clean up their own dodgy affairs. So either this lady is planning to use me as a pawn in a political manoeuvre or she just wants to piss people off by marrying one of the adventurers that keep on foiling their plots/revealing their cults. Or, the outlying possibility that she's just a freaky bitch.
Either way, this marriage most likely ends with my body found floating by the docks, too mutilated to identify.

So yeah, I'm in.

>> No.55482084

>>55480276

They stole animals from africa to put in the coliseum (because bronze age civs killed all the middle eastern/european ones)

>> No.55482284

>>55479748
So you're telling me that pagans, native americans and the middle east all count as black?

>> No.55482338
File: 30 KB, 891x601, 1492054553012.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55482338

>>55479748
Go away leftypol, /tg/ is pure.

>> No.55482363
File: 18 KB, 255x255, 1431547247836.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55482363

>>55479748
>>the fact that christianity was literally from the middle east

>> No.55483116
File: 617 KB, 500x367, Tuxedo Nope.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55483116

>>55464005
>Fourteen year old Magical Girl
She'd go along with the kidnapping at first. rationalising she could always just transform and escape later. So why not have some fun with it?
Until she realises that the lady is after sex.

>> No.55484025

>>55464005
sounds fishy, I better kill her and leave

>> No.55485108

>>55477846
D&D 3.5e.

>> No.55487551

>>55464005
Your bonus question isn't a question.

>> No.55487693
File: 864 KB, 379x379, ANGERY.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55487693

>>55487551
>>55487551
DELETE THE THREAD

>> No.55487728

>>55487551
Heh

>> No.55489306

>>55482338
You know it's not.

>> No.55489477

>>55479748
Quality bait. One, all cultures blend if they last long enough. Two, which white people? Anyone traveling Europe in the 1700s would have found stark differences between London, Paris, and Weimar, from their poety, music, or philosophy.

> Constitution is copied from Iroquois Confederacy
I wasn't aware the Iroquois were that fond of Locke, Rousseau, and Montesquieu. Learn something new every day.

>> No.55489613

>>55464005
I play along, then when she goes to change/freshen up/do whatever the fuck women do to their vaginas before sex, I loot her home then jump out the window.

>> No.55489686

>>55489613
>whatever the fuck women do to their vaginas before sex
He says what we're all thinking!

>> No.55489692
File: 48 KB, 633x356, zapp%20brannigan%20main[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55489692

>>55479655
>tfw the only thing they couldn't protect you from is death by snu-snu

>> No.55489700

>>55489477
>Being this much of a scholar and a gentleman

Anon you're too good for this thread

>> No.55489850
File: 700 KB, 720x1124, cease the heresy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55489850

lol no, the crusade never ends

>> No.55489900

>>55489477
>I wasn't aware the Iroquois were that fond of Locke, Rousseau, and Montesquieu. Learn something new every day.
Like the concept that more than one person/culture can come up with an idea independent of one another? Or is that still on your to-do list?

>> No.55489992

>>55489900
>Like the concept that more than one person/culture can come up with an idea independent of one another? Or is that still on your to-do list?

Anon, I am 100% down to learn how the Iroquois believed in the concept of innate, natural rights instilled by their creator, or social contracts that could be disregarded when a chief overstepped his authority.

>> No.55490087

>>55489477
Not that anon, but look up the Iroquois Confederacy. They did come up with similar themes of representative governance, and the parallels are acknowledged by the US government. It's literally official government policy that there are parallels between the two.

That anon is wrong to say the Constitution is copied from them for a number of reasons, both including the figures you mentioned and a variety of other factors such as major differences between the two governments.

>> No.55490374

>>55489992
They did actually believe in a concept of innate rights and rules to people and society that were instilled upon them by the Creator. But in here we get to a major difference, in that ownership of land is actually not something people are entitled to, but rather stewardship of it, especially through the Clan Mothers, matriarchs of each of the six nations that made up the confederacy. Ideas of what the west would consider property ownership were passed down matrilineally, but actual "ownership" is much more vague term than western definitions of it. Furthermore, chiefs that did overstep their authority, prove to be corrupt, etc, were to be removed from power, but it is the Clan Mothers that would remove such an individual from power, and it would be the sister or other female relative of the chief would be the one to nominate a successor, who was then voted on if I recall correctly.

>> No.55490474

>>55490374
> Clan Mothers
> Social contract
So can the tribe depose a clan mother who they feel have not lived up to her side of the agreement? Or was it purely locked in by heredity?

>> No.55491132

>>55490474
In terms of actual power, they're about equal to that of the chiefs as a whole, and while the title was hereditary for a position, they could also be removed via council of women elders (in theory, at least; such an event wasn't exactly a common occurrence). Most often a Clan Mother would pass on and the title would pass to a relative of the previous one within the tribe, like the chief.

The social contract these societies abided by was one recognizably different to the Enlightenment ideas such as Rousseau's or Locke's. The fact that there was a strong matriarchal focus to it should make it obvious. The governance was more decentralized from the start, neither chiefs nor Clan Mothers having the kind of political power that European monarchs possessed at the time, and with more people able to remove offending leaders from power. But even with that, there are some interesting parallels to make with American governance. For example, laws and treaties had to go through two "houses" with a 3/4ths majority voting in favor of said treaty both times in order to take effect. But their "houses" were a council of male voters and then a council of female leaders. Meanwhile, the Clan Mothers had veto power on treaties, and before changes to any council laws and customs (effectively "constitutional amendments") could be brought up as legislation, the Clan Mothers needed to give a 2/3rds majority approval.

Again, parallels are acknowledged by the US government for a reason, but it's a huge stretch to say that the US Constitution is copied from the Iroquois Confederacy in even vague terms. It underplays how different the intricacies of both the Confederacy and the early United States were.

>> No.55491202

>>55464501
There are accounts of Crusaders raping Constantinople women with makeup on while on their way to the Middle East, because in Europe at the time only prostitutes wore any kind of makeup.
Make out of that what you will.

>> No.55491260
File: 132 KB, 472x329, 1480947854411.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55491260

>>55472922
>>55470997
>imperial fists

>> No.55491314
File: 37 KB, 510x546, 1315390345263.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55491314

>>55489900
>>55489992
>>55490087
>>55490374
>>55490474
>>55491132
I came in here for tales of horny noblewomen kidnapping adventurers, and yet somehow we end up with anon giving details on Iroquois history.

Never change, /tg/.

>> No.55491373

>>55471809
Probably because all you ever do is sit on your 4chan, greatest offender is that you probably find cross boarding to be a "thing" with some stupid message behind it so you probably limit yourself to a single board on a single website as your only social media interaction while the rest of the internet keeps moving and changing as it always has.

>> No.55491558
File: 437 KB, 1100x770, sRonthejob.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55491558

Grab my commlink and punch in whatever number the bitch is using this month.
"Mother, I've told you to stop trying to set me up with your spinster friends. It's not endearing."
Improvise a self-extraction.

>> No.55491586
File: 184 KB, 600x600, tglogo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55491586

>>55491314
Never have, never will.

>> No.55492365

>>55476944
He's got fists. Now all I need are some morally dubious programmers and I'm in business

>> No.55493482

>>55473037
Patrician Taste

>> No.55494553

>>55491558
>Oh great the DM is trying using my parents as a plot hook again, next time I'm making an orphan so he doesn't kill them.
>What do you mean she's perfectly fine? It was all a ruse to get me to come home so she could reintroduce me to the Baker's daughter?
I think I have another plot hook for my next campaign.

>Accidentally get set up with the villain
>Mum knew her grandmother from the local sowing club and got in contact.
>How do you navigate the dinner with your archnemesis while your mothers are trying to pair you two up?

>> No.55495265

>>55472766
You're forgetting that they also used Arsenic for makeup as face powder. They used actual poison as makeup.

>> No.55497275

>>55464030
Something similar.
I have foes to slay.

>> No.55498005

>>55478993
I miss that look for raptors.

Fits 40k much better than the clearly-intended-for-30k new ones.

>> No.55498166

>>55464005
c-can I fuck the one on the right instead?

I'll fuck the 2 on the left if that's what it takes

>> No.55498325

>>55482363

No seriously. It was essentially the first feminist movement.

>> No.55498880 [SPOILER] 
File: 476 KB, 1418x1080, 1506012234139.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
55498880

>>55498166
>One on the right
Only if you're into birds

>> No.55498906

>>55464005
I assassinate her by not reading one of her maids 5 inane diary entries, locking away the ending where she survives

>> No.55499153

>>55498325
Weren't those homicidal Scandis a matrimonial culture though?

>> No.55499169

>>55492365
Given a long enough timeline, all developers become lawful neutral. And please kill me.

>>
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