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55033461 No.55033461 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I need tinfoil hat ramblings, conspiracy theories and general crazy talk that is not strictly impossible.
Bonus points if it "feels" like it makes sense.

>> No.55033482

Is any conspiracy theory fair game? Is there a specific setting we should have in mind?

>> No.55033498


give me anything you've got.

>> No.55033518
File: 313 KB, 600x484, IMG_0513.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.55033519

The government is totally legit and not involved in anything shady at all.

>> No.55033529
File: 268 KB, 748x1104, How+can+you+deny+what+is+straight+visible+in+front+_b7f2318c118000ca7734581dea6529d4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This one always gets a chuckle out of me.

>> No.55033542

What a lot of people don't know is the $62m lawsuit against Games workshop is actually funded by the office of the southern baptists churches. This is in retaliation of using chaos demons instead of using chaos priests, which would allow them to point to their anti-catholic leanings.

>> No.55033565

The lottery is actually a system to discritely fund time travel missions with era appropiate cash.
Not the jackpots mind you, but the big small prizes that don't get scrutinized.

>> No.55033598

The lottery is also a CIA funded program to capture potential psychics for government use.
None of the random numbers are ever winners, so picking the correct combination is an implication of precognitive powers.
It's a win / win for them really.

>> No.55033816



>> No.55033884

Ghosts are when a small amount of waves, swap with another set of waves in the same position but different time.

This allows us to observe a "faded person" effect with light, and a "whisper" effect with sound.

"echoing" sounds occur when multiple waves are being swapped or in varying positions.

Since the waves are swapped, any parties that is seeing or hearing a ghost, will appear to be a ghost to the other party.

Evidence of this begins in ghost hunters Season 4 Episode 20. They investigated the house and it had aweird history. Some lady died of an illness in that house and a father shot and killed his own son after mistaking him for an intruder, claiming he heard voices in the house.

The Ghost Hunters go through with their usual shtick, asking random questions to the air repeatedly and checking the plumbing.

On their recorders they have what sounds like an angry man yelling what sounds like "GET OUT I'll kill you". They assume it was the ghost.

In fact the "ghost" was the man who shot his kid dead years prior, and he was trying to defend himself against the ghost hunters (the ghosts to him) who sounded like home intruders asking questions like "are you mad you were shot and killed" and "is anyone home? I hope you don't mind me"

The man eventually shot his son assuming he was stopping the intruders he heard.

The ghost hunters have no clue what they're meddling with and are responsible for a person's death.

>> No.55033904


>> No.55033936

Try asking on /x/. Thems fuckers crazy.

>> No.55034022

If you are in any position to take a run at the presidency you have either had your mouth wrapped around an 14 year olds cock or been party to it. They set it up that way. It's like an initiation into high level politics, to ensure they keep one anothers secrets.

Don't believe me? There's a halfway house in Boulder, Colorado you should check out. I'm not legally allowed to call it a Boy Farm because they beat those allegations, but some of those kids are willing to talk for a few bucks.

>> No.55034031

"WIZARDS! Invisible wizards, WALKING AMONG US, watching us. If you listen, you can hear them scratching notes on their MAGIC SCROLLS!. They whisper things to me. They know I know and they know you don't believe me! They tell me to do things...I DON'T WANT TO SERVE THEIR EVIL! You NEED to help ME!"

>> No.55034052


>> No.55034340

Han shot first.

>> No.55034674

>You know that thing about chemtrails? Complete bullshit. The heights involved would disperse any substance so much that it would be innefectual, and air routes don't favor human populations. When the government wants to introduce a chemical compound over its population, it is added to regular car fuel: it spreads at ground level and where there's a car, there are people. This much more simple and effective method is why the US has such a strong car culture which disdains fuel economy.

The articles below should help you out. For example, the "government controls us through the census" sounds more reasonable when one finds out that it was used just like that to intern japanese-maericans in 1942.



>tinfoil hat ramblings
Oh boy. An anon once posted something written by his GM. It's the pdf at the left.

>> No.55034731

/pol/ is always correct.

>> No.55034795


>> No.55034852
File: 35 KB, 248x320, Delta Green.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Unironically, go to /pol/. They're Diet /x/ and fantastic for the generation of Delta Green plotlines.

>> No.55035088

Look up flat earth conspiracies. If you've had higher math classes it will be nonsense, otherwise enjoy.

>> No.55035124


>> No.55035143

Those fucking creepy ass videos on youtube are being used by pedophiles to condition millions of children

>> No.55035175

Unironically this one. Sounds like the sort of delusions you'd end up having if you were a schizo in a high fantasy universe. Need to use this next time my PCs visit a sanitarium.

>> No.55035224

Can someone post the pepsi SAN check pdf?

>> No.55035263

what am I reading

>> No.55035266
File: 396 KB, 1695x561, uBvvb.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Zarus and Pelor are one and the same.

>> No.55035283
File: 8 KB, 151x151, 1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

All US nationally chartered banks are required to join the Federal Reserve Bank and purchase "stocks," which are nothing like normal stocks since the Federal Reserve Bank isn't a for profit institution that's exposed to any kind of market risk. Nevertheless, the Fed annually pays out 6% dividends on these so called stocks, which is risk free wealth transferred to the private banking sector.

The vast majority of this money is diverted by Shan possessed executives towards various ventures that all have the ultimate long term goal of restoring their derelict spaceship and conquer the planet. A drunk guy with a wicked scar on his forehead told me this so I know it to be true.

>> No.55035292
File: 204 KB, 600x615, tree-stumps.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Giant Tree Stump Theory. Yggdrasil was real. Earth was covered by mile-high trees before the Atlanteans/Zeta Reticulans/Reptilians. The petrified stumps remain. The government and scientific community are covering it up.

>> No.55035305


A classic. I still want to use bits of it in a setting some day.

>> No.55035336

>one thousand pages
Im gonna need a short summary, also

>The Elf civilizations are not governed by their Sages, but are truly nothing more than mindless Drones for their trees via pheromone control
Why do you think they fight the Drow so often? They escaped the trees, and The Trees want them back

>> No.55035359

Because a few of the founders went to that specific church in demanding. So they're admitting it's a sham and choosing the "greater" alternative in-sync with all those Jesus inc. Enterprises gonna pop up soon.

>> No.55035380

I made it 45 seconds before the stupidity forced a catastrophic eyeroll. Now I'm blind. I just hope my touchtyping is sufficient to get this message out. Thanks, anon.

>> No.55035391
File: 79 KB, 1025x640, 1467167696109.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why does this even exist? How do you make a conspiracy theory like this out of some shots making him look taller than Han?

>> No.55035455

The PCs know that a certain religion controls everything but all of the NPCs are convinced they are innocent victims.

>> No.55035556

You didn't even get to the best parts. How the Hebrews are time travelers from the future or how the Martians fought the Atlanteans.

>> No.55035774

You know public drinking fountains, right? They're everywhere in big cities, in all the parks, etc.
You ever why all the water coming out of them tastes like shit? It's because the bottled water industry is paying out millions to the government to purposely make their water worse, just to make people want to buy the bottled stuff.
Same thing goes for tap water. Why do you think charcoal filters are so expensive? You can buy a bag of the stuff for 50 bucks, or just a little cylinder for the same price!

>> No.55035809

This, right?

>> No.55035827

Refer to the Paranoia thread going on right now. Especially the RnD items.

>> No.55035927

Google eternal Hibernian or hibernian conspiracy

>> No.55036379

I lost it at Thoth. Every time he says "according to Thoth" I laugh harder. Fucking hysterical. Thank you. It's a special kind of crazy.

>> No.55036457

>>The Elf civilizations are not governed by their Sages, but are truly nothing more than mindless Drones for their trees via pheromone control
>Why do you think they fight the Drow so often? They escaped the trees, and The Trees want them back
that one is extremely good

>> No.55036745


This fucking hippie. It's like a real-world toad-licking, shroom-talking mentally disabled druid
>Perhaps the planet mind is trying to tell us something?

>> No.55036807

Semi-related, did you know that tinfoil hats, instead of blocking radio waves, actually amplify the signal reaching the wearer?


>> No.55036835
File: 59 KB, 660x660, flatearth.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Global warming is a plot to melt the Antarctica Ice Wall.

>> No.55037378


There are humanoid rats living underground

>> No.55037743

/Pol/ is literal mind rot, disgusting hive of retards.

>> No.55038233

Wikipedia maintains an actual list of conspiracy theories: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories

I read this list, and some fraction of the entries on it, as part of my background research for a CYOA. What leaps out at you when you stack all of these conspiracy theories on top of each other is how sad they are; most of them are just ways for some group of people to rationalize the feeling that everyone is out to get them. (There probably isn't any global conspiracy against Turkey, because the world as a whole just doesn't care that much.)

The most interesting entries concerned cattle mutilation, which is apparently a real(ish) phenomenon, and "false history"; if you read one link off that page, it should be the one about Fomenko's "New History." (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_(Fomenko) ) In essence, Fomenko claims that much of what we'd call classical history was made up by medieval monks as metaphorical (allegorical?) versions of contemporary events. He arrives at this conclusion via a statistical examination of histories, predicated on the assumption that the amount of descriptive space dedicated to an event is correlated with its importance, and therefore a given period of history should therefore produce the same spacing pattern even when described by different authors. Fomenko analyses some number of texts with this method and concludes that the spacing pattern exhibited by classical history is improbably closely correlated with that of medieval history. Spoiler: Fomenko's method turns out to be flawed.

(Pre-industrial agrarian societies may have, in fact, exhibited Malthusian boom-bust cycles, but this notion is unrelated to Fomenko's work. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_cycle_theory#Contemporary_theories )

Dang, beat me to it.


>> No.55038317
File: 160 KB, 400x527, Is Your Mollusc Patriotic Enough?.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I forgot to mention that something like the "False History" idea could be a fun way to explain the enormous lengths of time that pass in fantasy settings ("every 1,000 years", "for the last 10,000 years", etc.)

They didn't really happen. People just think they did.


>> No.55038525
File: 316 KB, 1600x1206, Olympic_Titanic_Belfast.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The Titanic didn't sink.

Hear me out.
There was three boats built at the same time as the Titanic, including the Olympic, seen here on pic related next to the famously "unsinkable" ship.
The Olympic had an unfortunate meeting with another ship a few months before the Titanic left port for the first time. The Olympic was deemed responsible for the accident so they didn't collect the insurance money and had to fix it for a really expensive price.

So the theory goes like this : the Olympic was switched with the Titanic in order to sink it and collect the insurance money. The Titanic (in disguise) sailed without any problems for years until it was put out of business for being old.

Here goes the mad part : a boat owned by the same company as the Titanic left North America a few days before the 'Titanic' did, with no passengers and thousands of blankets on board, as if they were going to rescue the passengers of the sinking ship.
The Titanic had room for more than 3 000 people but left with only 2 200 people on board, which meant it wasn't profitable. The Olympic had less room for passengers.
The owner of the Titanic called in sick and didn't board the ship and was seen perfectly well in France the day of the sinking.
The crew started putting the passengers in life boats very late, as iof they were waiting for the rescue ship (which never reached them).

There are some more details about windows being different on the Olympic and matching those of the wrecked underwater ship pictures and some other influencial people failing to board, about a newspaper printing a story about the whole crew the morning after the wreckage as if they knew about what was supposed to happen.

>> No.55038836
File: 100 KB, 350x263, 3316713-6679122170-Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Got you covered senpai


>> No.55039001

The future of humanity is under threat by extra-dimensional demons and pedophile vampires making a societal hive mind artificial intelligence to strip freedom from the people

>> No.55039010

this is just common sense

>> No.55039275

There's the phantom time hypothesis, which proposes that Otto III of the Holy Roman Empire and Pope Sylvester II fabricated a chunk of European history in order to help legitimize the empire, and to place the calendar at the oh-so-special year of 1,000 AD.

The claim is that the entire Carolingian period was falsified, (614-911), creating the legendary king Charlemagne for the empire to be descended from.

The theory cites:
The scarcity of archaeological evidence that can be reliably dated to the period AD 614–911, the perceived inadequacies of radiometric and dendrochronological methods of dating this period, and the over-reliance of medieval historians on written sources.
Roman architecture in 10th century Europe, suggesting that the days of Empire are more re cent.
A mismatch between the Julian and Gregorian calendars that makes it seem as if the latter had experienced 300 less years.

There are some huge holes in the theory, but read in isolation, it's... Ok.

>> No.55039398

>interdimensional mating

>> No.55039550

Have fun

>> No.55039613
File: 311 KB, 600x745, infowar2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.55039979
File: 66 KB, 750x683, image-5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This is the best and no one will convince me otherwise.

>> No.55040080

>t. Shareblue

>> No.55040148
File: 20 KB, 500x367, carlos.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>"if you notice a speck anywhere, I mean there's specks everywhere"
>next shot he's wearing glasses

>> No.55040452

Italian and Spanish are the same language.

>> No.55040623


This might provide some inspiration on talking crazy

>> No.55040664

OP asked for plausible conspiracy theories anon

>> No.55040684

Anime is a Japanese Psi-Op that got way out of hand and back fired horribly

>> No.55040687

The lottery is a tax on people that don't understand probability

>> No.55040770


Browse /pol/ for ten minutes and report back

>> No.55040878

Why not /x/?

>> No.55040914

I bet they've done a lot of stuff for a few bucks

>> No.55040929

stewart swerdlow
michael tsarion
max spiers
check'em on youtube

>> No.55040946

fuck i really hate those ghost hunting shows now

>> No.55040976

No, you fucking imbecile.
Chemtrails are demons.

>> No.55040992

...but that's actually true. At least for the Belgian Lottery.

>> No.55041006

Pick your flavour of crazy

>> No.55041027

It could be both. They can investigate winners for potential signs of ESP and still use the losers as an idiot tax to fund the whole operation.

I remember there was some sci-fi novel that even suggested using a birth lottery to breed people for luck, but technically doesn't human reproduction already work that way kinda?

>> No.55041043

>a bunch of assholes are incredibly rude to dead people.

>> No.55041046

Did anyone else catch that all that dialogue was more or less in the Unknown Armies 2e rulebook?

Or was the rumour section from the Unknown Armies 2e rulebook from this scene? Hmmmmmm

>> No.55041077

What if Wikipedia itself is collecting that list of conspiracy theories to make any real conspiracy theory seem either less interesting or more pathetic by comparison?

>> No.55041129

>dead people whos death they might have contributed to by being rude to dead people
this is some bootstrap paradox shit niggu

>> No.55041163
File: 6 KB, 259x194, Mulder.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

really makes you think

>> No.55041178

>The phantom time hypothesis is a historical conspiracy theory asserted by Heribert Illig. First published in 1991, the hypothesis proposes a conspiracy by the Holy Roman Emperor Otto III, Pope Sylvester II, and possibly the Byzantine Emperor Constantine VII, to fabricate the Anno Domini dating system retrospectively, so that it placed them at the special year of AD 1000, and to rewrite history[1] to legitimize Otto's claim to the Holy Roman Empire. Illig believed that this was achieved through the alteration, misrepresentation, and forgery of documentary and physical evidence.[2] According to this scenario, the entire Carolingian period, including the figure of Charlemagne, would be a fabrication, with a "phantom time" of 297 years (AD 614–911) added to the Early Middle Ages. The proposal has found no favour among mainstream medievalists.


>> No.55041207

Even without the paradox, the whole concept of those shows is incredibly disrespectful. Which is like, most reality TV shows ever. It's a cancer upon television and popular culture in general. It distorts reality even more than normal TV narratives because people are convinced that it's not scripted, when in fact it is.

I would refuse to appear on any reality TV show. Actors are allowed to see their own scripts and make decisions based on that, "Real people" aren't.

>> No.55041213

Selective breeding of humans has historically been hard to manage, at least when humans try it. Perhaps we should leave it to the Zeta-Reticulans

>> No.55041280

>I remember there was some sci-fi novel that even suggested using a birth lottery to breed people for luck
that's fucking cool. do you remember anything about it that might make it easier to find?

>> No.55041342

Yeah, but the way sex works, the most lucky sperm in 100 million is the one that gets to fertilize the egg, which itself just happened to chose this month to descend into the Uterus. The most lucky sperm and egg are the ones that become a real human bean. So if there is ANY genetic basis for luck that works outside of a vagina, evolution is already working to maximize it.

I think it was part of Lary Niven's known space series. I haven't read it, but it comes up latter in one of the novels that the Puppeteers had been bio-engineering humans to be more lucky with a birth lottery. In general they are super paranoid and prefer to do everything by proxy. which is itself a common theme in both space-opera and conspiracy theories. Which itself could make good material for both sci-fi or conspiracy fiction. Who benefits from us believing or disbelieving in puppeteer aliens who have everything under control (or out of control).

>> No.55041345
File: 32 KB, 213x346, 51iV5wimodL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Ringworld, by Larry Niven.

>> No.55041572


Another thing that always made me laugh about this is that this is basically just a cheap palette swap of various white racist theories from the late 19th/early 20th century.

>> No.55041614

Get out. Summer is just about over.

>> No.55041629

It's more of a fusion than anything, the stuff about yakub is from the Nation of Islam but the Dero are from Richard Sharp Shaver's stuff and it's also got

>> No.55041637
File: 646 KB, 720x1133, steventhumbsup.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

thanks the both of you. i read a synopsis and it sounds fun

>> No.55041650

It's also got hollow earth mixed in*

>> No.55041934

It was Ring World by Larry Niven. Humans are only allowed one child each or something but there's a lottery to decide who can have another. One of the characters is born from three generations of lottery winners and so has super human luck. Pretty good book, lot of cool ideas.

>> No.55042707
File: 100 KB, 362x480, 1440575015566.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The Question is surprisingly fun, especially for such an old character.

>> No.55043914

Robert F. Scott and his team didn't die because of a freak storm but instead committed a group suicide after finding out that Amundsen beat them in the race to South Pole.

Harold Wilson was a soviet spy that not only managed to infiltrate the British government but also became a prime minister while still taking orders from Moscow.

Richard Nixon deliberately sabotaged peace talks in Vietnam so that he would have a better chance to get elected.

Several people involved in USSR's space program died while in space (either due to accidents or possibly because they're deliberately sent on a one way trip to the space). To maintain public morale USSR covered it all up and unpersoned these unlucky cosmonauts.

CIA is behind the American drug epidemic and it was meant to be a way for the government to control urban and low income population while helping CIA to forge ties with South American criminal organizations and help to acquire further funding for its other operations.

>> No.55044016

>CIA is behind the American drug epidemic and it was meant to be a way for the government to control urban and low income population while helping CIA to forge ties with South American criminal organizations and help to acquire further funding for its other operations.

This one is true though

>> No.55044215

>to control urban and low income population

Well, this part's a stretch. It was really just that poor neighborhoods were a suitable dumping ground for the drugs. It was done because they wanted money that didn't come with congressional oversight.

>> No.55044643

The war on drugs that resulted from this was the perfect weapon against minorities and anti-war whites though.

>> No.55044721

That is also a good point.

>political enemy is annoying you
>realize they all like a certain thing
>make thing illegal and demonize it
>use as an excuse to kick their shit in

>> No.55045116

Speaking of "crazy conspiracy theories" that turned out to be real:

For years it was just rumors and hearsay, but then in 2004 a reporter dug up the evidence that an elite patrol unit had torn a bloody swath across Vietnam, committing horrific war crimes while the brass looked the other way, and the military eventually hushed the whole thing up, declining to prosecute in order to avoid the negative publicity.

>> No.55045204

the moon landing was actually filmed by a professional movie studio, and they got Stanley Kubrick to direct. He forced them to shoot on-location.

>> No.55045257

https:// youtube.com/watch?v=b4meFC1ee7Q

>> No.55045319

The US learned well from Britain

>> No.55045700
File: 401 KB, 1078x729, ghopro.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.55045789

Not gonna lie I'd probably watch this

>> No.55045946

Wait holy fuck this is real

>> No.55045967

sadly, no

>> No.55045982

Surprised this hasn't been posted yet.


>> No.55045983

Well its a parody show yeah but its an actual show instead of just that image.

>> No.55046068
File: 27 KB, 313x254, [LaughterStops].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Christ. It's been too long.

>> No.55046089

What, the Teela Brown Gene? Yeah, that was fun but so overpowered he wrote one story past that point in the setting and decided to stick to prequels. Puppeteers are one of my favourite alien species, though.
Their word for Leader is"Hindmost", because they're archetypical cowards.

>> No.55046118
File: 428 KB, 1078x729, traveller gm runs out of ideas.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


No, it's not real.

>> No.55046139

B-but I'm watching it right now


>> No.55046162


Wait, so somebody actually went ahead and did a video based on that image? Neat.

>> No.55046318

they have at least 4 episodes from what I can tell.

>> No.55046332

Spend six seconds in /pol/ & you'll witness the most retarded chemakillz fluoride GMO lizard people chemtrail Alex Jones horseshit you've ever seen being discussed like fine wines.

>> No.55046437

Honestly, tweak some a bit and you could fit them into any setting you want.


>> No.55046464
File: 267 KB, 1280x720, 2016-05-17-171659_1280x720_scrot.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Proof that modern hardware has "backdoors" and you are spied on. Not so long ago wikileaks released documents showing how CIA could use your "smart" TV's integrated microphone and camera to spy on you and how they could use the internal computer on many cars to cause you a car accident.

The most important article there is The Network of Global Corporate Control, proof that the majority of business are not only owned by a few, but consciously controlled.

Now with articles not in the pastebin.

By the way, all this espionage done by CIA and NSA are for personal gain, like http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/09/nsa-spying-brazil-oil-petrobras
Private corporations use the CIA and NSA as their personal assets to make money. The NSA have proven criminals on their ranks called "The Equation Group", cybercriminals. NSA even admitted to work for private contractors at one recruitment drive http://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2013/jul/05/national-security-agency-recruitment-drive
What to be even more scared? NSA names the programs used against civilians after civil wars http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/09/06/nsa_bullrun_manassas_why_is_the_nsa_naming_its_covert_programs_after_civil.html

Facebook and Google most social media, but FB and Google over all, are twisting the information and have the power to brainwash people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6vM4dhI9I8
Facebook already did experiments to his users to see how far can they go http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/10932534/Facebook-conducted-secret-psychology-experiment-on-users-emotions.html

NSA and GCHQ also do brainwash the population to keep everyone away from protesting and is another known fact https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20140224/17054826340/new-snowden-doc-reveals-how-gchqnsa-use-internet-to-manipulate-deceive-destroy-reputations.shtml

Windows send screenshots of everything you do https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgs9g-Q-Zm8

>> No.55046634

>whenever an unexpected chill runs down your spine, it's because a fat guy with a high speed camera is pissing on your grave

>> No.55046756


FTFY, and now I really wish there had been more conspiracy bullshit in Harry Potter. Xenophilius Lovegood did not get the air-time he needed to be fully appreciated.

>> No.55046757

>Balefire can't melt steel beams! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

Captcha: midgard bridges no-no

>> No.55046807


>FEMA is just waiting for the next catastrophe and has an elaborate plan to build concentration camps when shit goes down

>they actually have light bulbs and cars that never break down, they just don't sell em

>cancer can actually be healed but they suppress that because chemo therapy has higher profit margins

>> No.55046818


>> No.55046885

Of course. How else would you prevent sourcerors being born?

>> No.55047255
File: 9 KB, 600x400, total-solar-elipse-diamondring.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Staring at a total eclipse through its entire duration grants you superpowers, and the government doesn't want tons of people with supernatural abilities, which is why there's so much propaganda to not look directly at it without protection.
This also explains why eclipses were omens in the past. They heralded the generation of new supernatural individuals, which often wrought destruction with their newfound powers.
Wizards are often associated with astrology because those who were most interested in the heavens and scholarly study of magic were the most likely to complete the process but not go totally mad with power.
The few individuals who do manifest abilities during the eclipse are rounded up by the government. Nobody knows what happens to them.

>> No.55047986
File: 180 KB, 534x900, dammit steve why are you always making messes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

so that's why I can cast spells now. good thing the government doesn't know about me or they'd kidnap me faster than candleja

>> No.55048090

All miniature wargames have trackers inside the miniatures. The trackers collect data on the startegies and games of the players. The military is feeding this data to a computer innorder to grow a military AI.

>> No.55049648

>HIV is a bioweapon engineered by WHO during 1970s
>instead of oil&coal corporations the beef industry is one of the major funders of global warming is a hox groups
>public education system has been delibrately sabotaged by the government in an attempt to raise future generations as perfect slaves
>stephen hawkin is actually brain dead and is kept alive by a life support machine, all of his theories and speeches have been prepared by a group of public discredited scientists who use his brain dead body as a puppet to get their theories out to the public
>video game industry is government's attempt to produce people who have both mentality suitable for military service and have been brainwashed into viewing military and military service in more positive light than usual
>private prisons have strong ties with certain types of rap music and have funded certain artists for years in an attempt to glamorize thug life an thus ensue that there will be always be plenty of retards who end up in their prisons
>jfk was assassinated by CIA/KGB/mafia/etc.

>> No.55049780
File: 615 KB, 901x1392, 1479825679186.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>The internet is a large-scale sociological experiment on how to artificially engineer memes. The bigwigs expect that within a few decades enough data will have been collected that they can begin to engineer memetic ideas to support their philosophies, whatever they may be. It's a subtle sort of mind control that's self-protecting because the person who's being controlled doesn't think they actually believe it.

A mysterious organization or individual, however, has a natural talent for memetics and manipulation, and has even more villainous designs for the experiment, not to mention better control. The Illuminati only sees what they want to see, and it's up to the party to try to play all sides against each other and save the world, but can they save the world from itself?

>> No.55049787

Imagine an AI programmed to invariably seek out and destroy heresy.
It's... beautiful.

>> No.55049905

Can't remember what it's called specifically, but there's that Pepsi symbol pdf where it goes into all sorts of bullshit detail about the significance of the Pepsi symbol.

>> No.55049913

The reason Clerics are the only ones who get things like Heal and revive isn't because wizards can't. Its because the churches and their clerics and paladins suppress the knowledge of so called "white magic". They even hunt down and kill wizards who come close and spread the lie that its impossible for arcanists to cast those spells and spread rumors about those who say otherwise or try to study a way to do it. They call them Necromancers and call them evil. They're not wrong about the necromancy part...

>> No.55049937


>> No.55050004

This actually isn't far from truth in my homebrew, actually.

Healing spells are from the usual Water/Earth/Spirit schools, but the clergy keeps grips on the medical side of things and you have to get a writ from them to be able to practice medical magic.

It's one part FDA, making sure that everyone is at an acceptable level of skill and the writ means you can trust the doctor to not be incompetent, one part DeBeers and the church making sure that society needs them and can't overthrow the Not!Pope.

>> No.55050170

>proving his point

>> No.55050298


>Several people involved in USSR's space program died while in space (either due to accidents or possibly because they're deliberately sent on a one way trip to the space). To maintain public morale USSR covered it all up and unpersoned these unlucky cosmonauts.

this one is also true, the soviets are the only ones to kill people in space, vs on re-entry and launch only in the rest of the world. there is a conspiracy theroy that the soviets did this before Yuri Gagarin, which is quite believable considering what they did to laika.

>> No.55050333

Gang-stalking is pure unadulterated delusion

>> No.55050387

>not conspiracies
>conspiracy. Singular
JLU Question is possibly the best character in that show

>> No.55050493

Sorry, didn't read the thread.

>> No.55051053
File: 60 KB, 736x711, ^957018DC69C0F9A3FF046DA5AC0B7435AD3E8F65830937EFD2^pimgpsh_fullsize_distr.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Negative numbers are a Templar/Jewish trick originating with the beginnings of the swiss bank, as they are not found in nature, only in mathematics and utilized in the banking industry or for reductions that could be done better with simple subtraction. Even computers knew this fact until we specifically had to tell them that it was not so. -0 and 0 are both valid on older computer systems, equivalent, yet completely different bitwise. true 0 = 0000 0000, negative 0 = 1111 1111, which is only percieved as such because we force the computer, something that only deals in null and positive 1, to pretend the first bit (1)111 1111 signifies a negative connotation.
As negative numbers do not exist, imaginary ones, by definition, must also not, as they are the square roots of negative numbers, such as -/ -25 = 5i. The imaginary number conundrum is simply mathematicians jerking themselves off at how "smart" they are, when the obvious answer, that it simply does not exist, is right in front of them. I could go on about more mathematical "paradoxes" that don't actually exist, such as string theory, but I'm limited on time here. Email me at [email protected] for the scoop, or sign up to my newsletter at FakeMath.uk

>> No.55051290

I should have added how numbers are subtracted in binary, since it's nonsensical if you're not used to it, but entirely accurate when you look it up. In order to subtract, you take the bits, invert them, and add, then cut off the largest power of 2.

So negative 0, is a subtraction of 0, so it's the flip of 0000 0000, which is why you get 1111 1111.

>> No.55051451

>there was a Sgt. Edge that served in this unit

>> No.55051815

>Richard Nixon deliberately sabotaged peace talks in Vietnam so that he would have a better chance to get elected.

But this is true.

>> No.55053683

the US government is smuggling 1600 Nazi scientists from germany into america to keep them from the soviets. Many of them worked on V1 and V2 rockets and still hold fascist views.

Only this actually happened, and its not a secret. I just think its crazy more people dont know about it.

>> No.55053712

I like explaining shit like this to people. Not crazy conspiracy theories and lizard jew shit, but documented projects and operations you can look up on wikipedia. My favorite for normies is things like MKULTRA, because they never believe me until I start reading straight out of the documentation, then they sort of get a bit confused for a while after that while they process this development.

>> No.55053723

another fun fact: virtually all of the people working in japan's Unit 731 were excused on the ground that they shared their data

>> No.55053744

Something like God exists, but it is a psychic parasitic lifeform, the equivalent of a cordyceps fungi, infecting not humanity, but the sentient universe itself, driving it to some unknown self-destructive objective.

>> No.55053762

and the crazy shit is, it went from 1953 to 1973 and the fucking documents only got fully declassified in 2001. so crazier shit could still be classified and we wouldnt know it.

and the CIA tried to fucking burn it all, several times. they could have been burning all the documents relating to even more fucked up shit and there would be no evidence.

>> No.55053764
File: 84 KB, 337x653, _DSC2463.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


the KKK is actually a rogue wizard society hiding under the pretense of racism

>> No.55053775

the KKK i believes in the caster master race, martials should go back to africa.

>> No.55053780

That and the fact that the modern art movement exists pretty much entirely because of the funding of the CIA is one of those things that can really fuck up your world view.

>> No.55053859

that feeling when the CIA, USAs first line of defense against the communists was staffed by avant-garde liberal Yale and Harvard graduates and was even known for having experts on communism that were probably just communists that didnt like the USSR.

the CIA is a very strange place.

>> No.55054006
File: 180 KB, 1095x554, pwer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Pick your flavour of crazy

Are they though?

>> No.55054009

They're basically a really bad case of one hand not knowing what the other is doing on a national scale. We have no fuck clue what the CIA is up to until someone forces them to tell us or they fuck up so badly it gets out. So they pull all sorts of strange schemes at home and abroad and nobody is any the wiser until it gets intolerably bad. It's also a terrifying idea that you only like some thing you think you like because the CIA has influenced you to.

>> No.55054058

There is in fact a shadowy cabal that controls international finance and business but its not actually the jews or lizard people but the knights templar. Their "purging" was merely them calling in the debts of the french king to fake the death of the organization as well as to clean house.
Their motives and reasoning are currently unknown to anyone who is not a knight.

>> No.55054075

The US did that to apes. Does that mean they also send humans to one way trips? Weak reasoning.

>> No.55054080

I like this concept.

t. James Rothschild

>> No.55054086

And died filthy rich.

>> No.55054094

Comrade, do not discuss such things. Instead, listen to great musical piece of Mother Russia!


>> No.55054342

God, this really makes me want to join the Klan.

>> No.55054389

I think I watched this whole thing once, either that or another of his videos.

>> No.55054525

Walk into NASA and shout Heil Hitler. They all pop right up.

>> No.55054549

The conspiracy theory theory.

The phrase conspiracy theory has been corrupted and made into a tinfoil hat meme thing on purpose to discredit actual theories which may or may not exist, so that if someone actually realizes something that goes against the official narrative, this person can just be discarded as a crazy tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist.

Example: the NSA, which was a conspiracy theory at first.

>> No.55054824
File: 16 KB, 500x565, Todd Howards face when you didn't buy it.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>martians destroyed mars because they're entirely rational and emotionless beings, which naturally causes them to engage in petty, violent, self-destructive behavior out of anger
>there's a slight blue "glow" around the earth when viewed from orbit, surely this is the work of sorcery and not earth's atmosphere
>a giant underground city protected by a fucking force field was discovered below the pyramids, but nobody cared because Paramount Studios didn't feel like making a movie about it I guess
>having extra chromosomes turns people into psychic giants
>Pythagoras "founded" Greece several hundred years before his own birth, because apparently all of ancient Greece was a single unified society and not a loose collective of city states
I don't know whether to laugh or have a stroke from pure rage.
I think I've had a stroke, and it's damaged my brain in such a way that I can't stop laughing.

>> No.55054921

Game of thrones is controlled by hivemind aliens

Enjoyable crazy theories set in GoT universe.

>> No.55055334

Big foot is real and he tried to suck my dick

>> No.55055354
File: 14 KB, 236x325, 1448889129327.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Well, OP asked for semi-incoherent ramblings...

>> No.55055409
File: 170 KB, 722x727, 20170823165856_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Bones of giant blacksmith who made titanic saw where?

>> No.55055422

Wrestling is for real. There are some who go to great lengths to keep this a secret and making sure people believe it is fake

>> No.55055581

sort of make sense. if it was known to be for real it would be outlawed in a millisecond

>> No.55055742

>I remember there was some sci-fi novel that even suggested using a birth lottery to breed people for luck, but technically doesn't human reproduction already work that way kinda?

Ringworld. Supposedly due to overpopulation, there's a "Birthright Lottery" where people can win the right to reproduce. The actual intention is to selectively breed for generations of winning gamblers.

>> No.55055801

It worked too....with the most horrifying results possible.

>> No.55055848
File: 230 KB, 630x1200, MV5BMWQ4MzI2ZDQt[email protected]._V1_UY1200_CR90,0,630,1200_AL_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This sounds like pic related

>> No.55055884

Richard Nixon was actually the leader of an xcom like organization whose purpose was, obviously, to ensure humanities continued survival.

The shadow government led by various alien factions created the 'watergate' false flag to mitigate his power

>> No.55055889

They did that shit at Roswell. Went "oh, this is a spaceship" then backtracked on it being a spaceship so everyone would assume they were hiding a spaceship.

>> No.55055916

Top-ranking generals in Iraq authorized a drone strike on multiple news agencies critical of Ryan Seacrest-- but cancelled the operation when a connection to DARPA was exposed.

>> No.55055919

But was it really a spaceship?

>> No.55056185

During World War II, Josef Menegle discovered a process to make an immortality elixir out of the blood and cerebrospinal fluid of Jews. The amount of raw material required, and the fact that he kept Nazi leaders unaware of the nature of his experiments, meant that he was unable to produce a meaningful amount of the compound before the end of the war. Decades later, after fleeing to Argentina, he masterminded the invasion of the Falkland Islands for the purpose of converting its population to Judaism, systematically exterminating them, and finally completing his life's work.

>> No.55056262

How about something with vaccines...like say, simian virus got somehow put into polio vaccines. It's dumb and would never, ever, happen but hey

>> No.55056376
File: 91 KB, 640x480, 1500697638815-1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It usee to be that according to Microsoft, unironically at that, free software devs are mindlessly walking into communism, and the linux community is a soviet plot under people like RMS and Linus Torvald's direction

>> No.55056380

>ctrl-F 'Soros
>0 results

So we're not doing contemporary stuff then?

>> No.55056415

It's not really a conspiracy when he's just blatantly funding protests and elections. Its just that apparently no one gives a shit and no one will report on it or any of the other puppeteers.

Now who's controlling him though? DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

>> No.55056460

Rothschilds, everyone knows this
Also the conspiracy lies in his motives, according to /pol/ he's probably a globalist that wants to bring in a world wide communist government, so his funding is to destabilize the US
OR, He's a nazi sympathizer that still wants to destabilize the US, but now its not just as a path to NWO, but also revenge for ww2
The second is supported by the fact that, despite being a Hungarian Jew, he can be quoted as saying that the best times of his life were in Nazi germany

>> No.55056595

Don't answer this if you don't want since it's not necessarily on-topic, but I am genuinely offput by how pervasive the negative opinion surrounding the guy is.

Looking at his finances, the stuff he's conclusively guilty of is predatory money speculation (the Bank of England got a lot of pain out of that in the 90s, and he has a French conviction for insider trading from 1988), but all I hear about whenever his name comes up in forums is stuff like these two posts.

Conversely a Google search or a trawl through a few dozen news sites (you gotta do at least ten, because bias) reveals billions and billions thrown at various philanthropic causes, such as supporting the free press in third world countries.

He smells leftist, no surprise. But a plot to plunge the world into communism? Smells like tinfoil to me.

>> No.55056698

>he can't be up to no good, just look all the good causes he has spent his money on

Remember: Hitler was also an animal rights supporter and ran public anti-smoking campaigns yet that didn't stop him from starting the 2nd great kraut chimpout.

>> No.55056769

Reminder: innocent until proven guilty.

All I'm saying is this is the shit we KNOW he's doing. I like how you completely ignored the bit where he is 100% guilty of predatory stock trading and strawman'd my opinion into saying the guy is completely innocent.

Also, Godwin's Law.

>> No.55056777

I know this is a troll, but I'm legitimately annoyed by this post.

>t. mathfag

>> No.55056880

This thread is top tier bait. Grab your salt on the way in.

>> No.55057162

>airplanes aren't real, they're demons in disguise
>moon is a hologram projected to the night sky
>planets don't exist, they're just a lie invented by illuminati

The best thing is that there really are people who actually believe in shit like this.

>> No.55057270

>Crab nipples contain the essence needed to create druids
>Atlantea was an undersea ship held in stasis until time when their creations would strip-mine Earth
>The people of Hy-Brasil regularly come and knock up people. With HF shields and swords
>The US president's bodyguards are all trained by a vampire who was horrified by the death of Lincoln
>Thor had sailed to the Americas in order to fuck Mayan booty
>Emperor Nero was cloned by the Nazis and used as shock troops

>/po/ is always correct

>> No.55057334

Star Wars original theory, which stated Jar-Jar was a sith lord, using "drunken master" fighting style.
There is a video somewhere on youtube and it put the tinfoil hat on my head for a couple of minutes.

>> No.55057366
File: 32 KB, 420x345, 1500960182499.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's not really bait, just providing thread related material that would be the equivalent of bait on /sci/.
Either way it did it's job I guess, thanks. I spent a whole two minutes longer than my average post on it.

>> No.55057680
File: 124 KB, 720x751, papercraft and politically incorrect.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>/po/ is always correct
The truth was in the origami all along!

>> No.55057816

Kneel, ya sinners. You still have time to receive the blessing of /po/wer armor!

>> No.55058065
File: 128 KB, 2080x820, Delta Green plothooks.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"Spurious Correlations" could be good inspiration for you. I'll post a few which seem sinister.

>> No.55058077
File: 35 KB, 660x230, Delta Green plothooks 2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.55058083

While it's true that the Soviets scratched a number of cosmonauts from their records, and that there was evidence that a number of cosmonauts died in space (which was picked up by these guys: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judica-Cordiglia_brothers), all of this evidence was planted. The secret cosmonauts were assembling a space station designed to be undetectable from Earth, which operated continuously throughout much of the 1960s.
Only one cosmonaut working on the project died in space, the one tasked with destroying the station before it could be detected by the first space telescopes.

>> No.55058136
File: 39 KB, 660x230, Delta Green plothooks 3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I guess that one combines well with this one too.

>> No.55058151
File: 30 KB, 660x230, Delta Green plothooks 4.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Last one.

>> No.55058184

There are no millennials, there is no avocado toast, and businesses are not dwindling because of them. The entire thing is a hoax by the media in order to generate ad revenu-

No wait, that's an objective truth. Try this; the moon landing was indeed faked, but that's because of what happened on the moon to require a massive cover-up.

>> No.55058317

I dont think you know what the word rambling means.

try looking up imbecile.

>> No.55058342
File: 72 KB, 800x601, HST-SM4.jpeg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

On the subject of space telescopes, have you ever wondered why the Hubble needs a lens cap, of all things?

I don't know what it says about me that I doubt that there's years in which only 2 or 3 kids are killed by their parent

>> No.55058525

>Why does an extremely powerful, incredibly expensive optical instrument that floats around in an environment where dust sized particles traveling at several kilometers a second regularly impact things need a lens cap
No, I didn't ever wonder that. Also the door is the aperture mechanism.

>> No.55058555

>defending yourself means your enemies are right

>> No.55058716

>I don't know what it says about me that I doubt that there's years in which only 2 or 3 kids are killed by their parent
The statistic is by the CDC apparently, and only counts the US. I tried to find the actual source, but it wasn't readily available from the site I got the images. It probably only counts actual convicted murders.

>> No.55059338

>moon is a hologram projected to the night sky

No way, it's a weather balloon!


(This old copypasta was created by an infamous troll on slashdot many years ago.)

>> No.55059341

what is this shit

>> No.55059365

Everyone knows the moon is a reptilian space station.

>> No.55059454

No, it's a giant JO crystal. The Apollo missions discovered this fact, which is why homosexuality saw such a huge rise in public acceptance in the West in the 1970s.

>> No.55059584

Get off 4chan Alex Jones

>> No.55059708
File: 218 KB, 786x494, Christopher-Pfister-historical-criticism.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>human civilization is only a few centuries old
>human history has been faked by scholars, no Romans, Antiquity, middle Ages....

>> No.55060582

Several groups meant to cause civil disruption in various countries (FEMEN comes to mind) have openly said that he funds them. FEMEN started complaining when he stripped funding because they opened a branch in Israel. There are several more groups that haven't openly said he funds them, but who have finances that can be traced back to his shell companies. He's probably responsibility for collapsing Ukraines government with the Orange Revolution (notice the trend here, now with the Purple Revolution in the US?)

Seriously though, the ballsack eyes are enough to have him put to death. Wear some fucking underwear on your head, dude.

>> No.55060628

Why are they assuming a bigger Mark Hamill and not a smaller Harrison Ford?

>> No.55060720

People say we gotta worry about Chernozum. Chernozum's gonna poison our water. Chernozum interfered with our allies, made 'em our enemies. All them terrorist attacks were by goddamn Chernos. They're gonna take our jobs and our women and our freedoms!

But here's the thing-- there ain't no Chernozum! There never was a Cgernozum! It's all smoke and mirrors the media is distracting us with. Distracting us from the REAL enemy! It's those damn Aurorans way down south! They've infiltrated our society and are makin' us jump at paper tigers and shadows of the wall! I'm the only one that sees it! But you see it too, don'tcha? Don'tcha?

>> No.55060854

Flat earthers were started as a psyop to make conspiracys in general look less legitimate

>> No.55060913
File: 85 KB, 736x736, 44cee0840fd6ad29ca18ddef3101ff07--globe-earth-my-opinions.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

the earth is actually flat though

>> No.55061460

>implying that the rothschild and rockefeller anti-conspiracy theory psyops haven't been running since long before the current flat earther plague

>> No.55061553

And it projects a constant, sub-sonic or perhaps even electromagnetic field onto the earth that messes with our brainwaves and prevents us from waking up as a species and joining the unenslaved galaxy. Light interferes with these fields, which is why when the moon is fully illuminated on a full moon night, people experience insanity and breaks with the status quo of their scripted existences: "lunacy". Some people sense this field and it is represented in their minds as a low droning sound: "the hum".

>> No.55063891

Oooooooh shit.

>> No.55063922


There are a ton on the Straight Dope forums, these are just two of my favorites. The pyramid one really gets going to crazy town. If you don't want to bother with all of everyone's posts, just search that thread for cladking.

>> No.55065530

Corrupt judges are getting kick backs from for-profit prisons.

>> No.55067788

>>FEMA is just waiting for the next catastrophe and has an elaborate plan to build concentration camps when shit goes down

What are they waiting for? I've been reading scare pieces that FEMA's "waiting to round us all up" since the late 90's.

>> No.55067941

For you to take huge dump and forget to flush.

>> No.55068101

Well >>55040080 assuming that anyone who dares to speak ill of a polynesian scrimshaw board must be a secret agent shill certainly supports the idea of /pol/ being soaked in conspiracy paranoia.

>> No.55068319

It's a joke, very clearly.
But why are you trying to start a political fight in this thread?

>> No.55068516

-The countries of the world are ranked in order, so that a man with the right list can take ten US bucks (or 10 Brit pounds, or 5 eurodollars, etc) and change them in just the right way that even after the bank fees, he's made money on the swaps. There are ways to do it in reverse order, like starting with 5 Zimbabwe dollars. There are ways to gain even more, but take more time. Useful for people who are stranded in the middle of sorta-nowhere and can't just call to tap accounts or call the embassy. Several countries are trying to buck this trend but keep getting hit by sudden small disasters, like Venezuela, by teams of spies out to preserve the organization's "living off the land" safety net.
-Dwarves live in caves because they are planning to someday launch a mountain and live in a space station.
-Corporations are actively holding back research and development of housemaid robots because it will worsen the employment prospects of too many people. They're acting out of the kindness of their hearts. And they know the cyberpunk future will result if they don't.
-There's a plan to destroy NASA and the space station, and the Mars project, so that we will return all attention back to Earth, and not spend money on escaping the boot of the System that has every piece of land mapped, counted, and tied up. Live here, pay rent here, keep your money flowing back to the landlords. (it's very shortsighted, I think.) They're also sending all the space probes we've had in space for so long to crash into the outer planets and asteroids all in the same general time frame, one by one.
-The CERN, and other colliders are actually secretly keeping the planet in a state of non-magic. The fairy folk never did like magnets.
-The human brain is capable of telepathy, but doesn't have the software. Or the hardware. One of those, at least.
-When we use our telescopes to find the aliens, we're going to transmit the genome sequence for airborne aids.

>> No.55068530

-Singers like The Blue Oyster Cult and Jethro Tull are being suppressed by a counter-group made of the backers of pop-star singers and fantasy book publishers. They didn't like being consistently out-talented and out-magicked by someone from 40 years ago.
-The creation of Nanotech immortality treatments is being stopped by businesses who would rather chase aspirin patents. This included the makers of the band-aide.
-George RR Martin has taken bribes from aliens. With alien funding he started creating half-baked sword and sandal stories (Game of thrones) because the aliens didn't like how close he was to the truth when he wrote science fiction. Best leave that to Star Trek, they thought.
-Genetically altering fish to breed faster only resulted in Deep Trench mutants. The gulf of mexico disaster was a big coverup to kill as many of the mutants as was known to be in one area.
-Earth is the only planet in the solar system with water. It took billions of years for primitive algae to exhale the oxygen and carbon dioxide needed to create so much air. The hydrogen came from sunlight. Then they went right on doing it and the excess created the oceans. Then the Precambrian explosion happened and the Whole Life Thing started up.

>> No.55068558

why did you come to us and not /pol/ or /x/? They're masters at this kind of thing.

>> No.55068778

>the earth is actually flat though
while I particularly hate Occam's razor I'm gonna invoke it right now on the sole argument that it's more probable they do this to spike prices in air travel or some sort of fraud.
Also, this https://www.metabunk.org/flat-earth-theory-debunked-by-short-flights-qf27-qf28-from-australia-to-south-america.t6483/

>> No.55068890

All history before what we call 1000 ad was made up by Venetians diddling the accepted chronology for nefarious purposes. That history appears to happen in cycles is simply the consequence of having the same events being reported at different points in time as if it was different events.

>> No.55069105

The reason the rich don't care about pollution, and seem to make exclusively shortsighted plans is because of prisoner's dilemma.

Between climate change, automation replacing meatworkers, and dwindling resources amid a growing population (peak oil is passed, peak farmland passed, peak phosphorus and water soon to follow), they know that at least one of these will bring about a societal collapse and that nothing short of a worldwide united effort would even have a chance of preparing for all of them. Job death can be fixed with welfare but 1. who of the rich is willing to pay for 7 billion pet humans? and 2. even if they were dwindling resources make them unable, while climate change accelerates the loss.

Meanwhile, anyone who throws the rest under the bus for a last minute scramble for top dog will have a much higher chance of having the control and means to survive. The goal is to put as much economic space between yourself and them below as fast as possible. You may not need more now, but the deadline is vague and you want as little competition as you can, by having no peer or killing any that were.

You can see pretty easily in each businesses' model which choice they're making, and how they intend to handle issues when they arise.

Take Elon Musk for instance. He's investing in mainly three technologies. Clean energy, pushing back the climate change deadline which could ruin his plan, artificial intelligence, which if discovered by the wrong hands first could ruin his plan, and space travel.
If you're having a hard time figuring out where that last one fits in, think of what happened with Britain when the land was overpopulated with debtors. Mars is new USA. You solve the teeming throngs with no jobs eating all of the riches' resources by having them colonize the new world. First by promise of prosperity, Then through debtor colonies.

Others obviously have a plan of either a slow death for us through starvation and disease or a quick purge.

>> No.55069392

I got done watching the whole thing

What the ACTUAL fuck did I watch

>> No.55069728
File: 63 KB, 433x820, 904e314c7ec9b0ac8daf84e75e57e872d7520e66b3cfbf774568ad24a3d36e80_1[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Vetala/jianga-shi/vampir, daemons, pixies, tuatha dé Danann, aboriginal spirits, youkai, pagan gods, MiB, aliens, they're all the same thing you know.
And I don't mean "imaginative folklore explanations of misinterpreted natural phenomena."
I mean these are all names for the same entity.

To say they're from another world isn't wrong, per say, but if you're looking to the stars, there's a reason SETI's a list of missed calls.

Their outward appearance alters to be whatever we expect. That's why they "change" so much over so many cultures. This is also why cameras do such poor jobs photographing them; most of the image is created in our head. What this means is that if you're only expecting more people, they just blend into the crowd, wolves in sheeps clothing. It's not until you notice something afoot that you expect to see something, weird, and then do. What they look like without, I would only hazard a guess.

As for what they want? We may never know.

What I will say is, throughout all ages, its been considered a generally good idea to steer clear of the Fair Folk.

>> No.55069798

>that image

>> No.55069887

I always stuck to the theory that "ghosts" as we know them are actually the time/space equivalent of scuffing a floor by walking on it too much. Like, in other words, what people believe are ghosts are actually just the footprints in reality left by people's constant daily routines. Like a sort of permanent echo.

>> No.55069944



>> No.55069951

Is Fomenko the guy that reckons Charlemagne never existed?

>> No.55069971

just saw this on front page of youtube.
seems appropriate.

>> No.55069974

Oh, if you wanted to play Changeling: The Lost that badly, you could've just said so.

>> No.55069994

Came here to post this, /pol/s deranged conspiracy theories and shit are great

>> No.55070062

Based on something that actually happened:
Before 500 AD, humans had no idea how to work metal. All the Roman era metal artefacts are actually elaborate hoaxes designed to stop people from asking questions like "how do you know the Romans existed".

There's no such thing as "metal". Any time you think you've handled "metal", you've been handling an extremely complex composite material composed of plastic, doped with carbon nanotubes and various colourants and hardeners. These chemicals are the main reason why some toxic "metals" are toxic - it's the chemicals that make it happen.

>> No.55070161

That would just be Aliens-Fairies. Kinda the opposite of Ancient Alien theory.

Fuse them with V:tR too though and you're getting closer.

>> No.55070168

what are magnets then? how do they work?

>> No.55070196

Fucking madman.

>> No.55070217

This probably explains it, or it could be another conspiracy theory... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZbmywzGAVs

>> No.55070272

Exactly! Nobody knows!

>> No.55070281

Thats actually really cool, I would totally use "mountain or mesa is actually the stump of some giant divine tree" for worldbuilding

>> No.55070321

They cannot land where there is no infrastructure.

So they land in big airport cities because they have the infrastructure to refuel

>> No.55070324

I once worked with a woman that was convinced that there had once lived these 3 meter tall humans on earth that ruled the world and used us normal humans for slave labor and food. She ranted about how the archeological society had tried to cover the existance of these humaniods up, but that someone had leaked "evidence" in the form of pictures of crushed skulls (which she claimed to be the skulls of the giants). If you google "giant humanoid conspirace" or something you may find the article where Im certain she got her information from.

The funniest thing is that we started to talk about this because my coworker refused to believe that ancient humans were able to build things like the pyramids or temples on top of mountains.

And that in turn came up when I mentioned to her that another woman I worked with thought that the pyramids where built by aliens. Which Giant-conspiracy-woman thought was stupid.

>> No.55070460

But OP asked for stuff that isn't true

>> No.55070468

tf are you talking about

>> No.55070477

thats how the world was made in dark souls too

>> No.55070498

good thing im a retard, who would give a shit about all the lame shit i do like shitpost and watch low effort youtube videos

>> No.55070821

in my setting there is a halfling run empire and its full of conspiracies, one of them being that the aristocracy are all werewolves and are trying to blow up the moon. but if you want one irl i saw this the other day: "Neo-Nazis and Antifa are financed by hostile powers to destabilize the USA and you are ALL falling for it."

>> No.55071436
File: 1.24 MB, 929x1162, MRFRCrant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I recommend Francis E. Dec, his rants are actually a pretty fun read.

>> No.55073507

The Chainsaw suit Local 58 videos should feature into this somehow. There's only a few of them, but they're good.

>> No.55073867
File: 68 KB, 600x440, 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>How can anyone work out a record of geological history when there were no humans.

Palaeofag here. Sorry guys, we've been rumbled, we made all this shit up all along. When we say we're going on field trips to study rocks, we're really just sitting in canyons getting drunk. The truth is out.

>> No.55074640


>> No.55074726

The thing I hate most about this is the stupid fucking narrator voice and avatar

>> No.55075003

The music really makes these

>> No.55075078

Watch it OP.

>> No.55075190

Finger Family?


>> No.55075290

I recently discovered a type of conspiracy theory I never heard of before. It's the [country of choice] is fake conspiracy theory. Belgium and finland are my favorites.

>> No.55075444

>the first mission to land on the moon was two men, Niel "Armstrong" (Strong arms, huh? that's attractive) and "Buzz" Aldrin (Buzz as in drugs, possibly)
>no women has ever walked on the moon in the Apollo missions
>we haven't sent anybody up to the moon since because NASA is worried feminists will notice this and do enough digging to discover the secret of the crystals
Checks out.

>> No.55075609

This is terrifying

>> No.55075720

Or existed but he was also about 10 other historical figures

Some variations of the New Chronology claim that a) Jerusalem was in fact Rome b) Rome is not in fact rome; Constantinopole is
and so on and so forth

>> No.55075744

One of my favourite consiracy theories is:
There was an advanced civilisation that was spread all around the globe. Their artefacts, and their cities ar in fact commonplace ("classical" architecture and star-shaped forts)
Around 200 years ago they were wiped out by nuclear warfare, and were written out of history altogether

>> No.55075940

sounds hot
do you get to finger hot scientist girls?

>> No.55076090
File: 76 KB, 700x484, 1474302664059.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The feminists and the gays are fighting because they want to establish opposing "Utopias". The Gays want to have a world where it's nothing but men and the feminists want a world where women have enslaved all the men, and the two cannot co-exist.

They set up "red-pilling" sites to try to turn the normies against both groups, believing that they will each out-survive the other. But it was overtaken by the jews who want to establish an anarcho-capitalist society where they can openly and legally dominate the christian poor.

The only good guys fighting these oppressors are the communists lurking in the shadows fighting a revolution for the straight, misogynist, and poor.

>> No.55076200

How would that work? It would be justified to assume that if the compound has to be synthesized from pureblooded Jews, converts wouldn't work. They would still have their old blood and significant fluids, it wouldn't magically become Jew-powered.

>> No.55076224

But communism IS a Jewish invention
> tfw everything is just an internal squabble of two Jewish sects

>> No.55076246

Obviously there is so-called supernatural involved
* it is purely natural, but described only by cabbalistic disciplines; goys may not apply

>> No.55076364

Then how would the natural process take place and work?

>> No.55076464

Dag Hammarskjold was killed by the Katangans/Rhodesians/CIA/KGB/GRU. All of them, working together, because a strong UN would intervene in Africa and mess up the Cold War.

JFK was killed by Oswald. The "CIA KILLED JFK" theory is Soviet propaganda.

The drinking water is fine. It's the food that you have to watch out for. The mind-control chemicals are also preservatives.

Bush didn't know about 9/11. But four of his cabinet members did.

KAL 007 was not equipped with monitoring equipment. The passengers were, with NRO-made radio implants in their chest cavities.

There was a very limited World War III in 1984, with fleet actions composing most of the combat. That's why four subs went down.

Telefon was an attempt to get knowledge of the GRU brainwashed agent system to the leadership of the CIA without risking the message being stopped by said brainwashed agents in the CIA.

>> No.55076488

Simple gathering and distillation f D*vine essense in H*s Chosen People, duh

>> No.55076606

But as I said, the gathering and distillation would only work on the actual Jews over the converts. How would they go about naturally turning converts into fullblooded Jews in a natural way?

Crossbreeding would dilute the purebloodedness of the correct stock, the correct way to go about it would be to force breeding programs amongst the purebloods to prevent genetic dilution and to keep blood and other fluids stable and perfect for the purpose of synthesis. You could run into the problem of inbreeding without introducing new stock that is also pureblooded, but you'd practically need to farm them at this point, effectively making a secondary set of stock that could risk being lower quality due to outside interaction and lack of pre-emptive tracking.

>> No.55076633
File: 25 KB, 320x320, excuse me could you tell me how to get to flavourtown.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw go to /pol/ whenever I'm bored and pretend to be a psyop implanting postconscious suggestions and MKultra trigger words

>> No.55076661

I'm eating avocado toast right now.

>> No.55076695

Those godawful flash games and videos containing hypnotic music and bizarre themes starring whatever movies and characters are popular at the moment?


3 years ago a diplomacy probe arrived in our orbit, cleverly designed to read as junk on any of our primitive scanners - intercepting and interpreting our internet, it is attempting to make contact and teach us of its makers, their intentions, advanced medical procedures whilst using familiar and recognisable iconography and characters as subjects.

It's still adapting and improving, but they'll be here soon.

>> No.55076718

Tape I

>> No.55076733

Tape II














>> No.55076897

> actual Jews over the converts
> pureblooded
That's why goys should not apply
they think D*vine essense is blood. Or genetics.

>> No.55077130

The fault is in the theory trying to attribute a natural aspect when it's really not. You can't say it's tied to blood and cerebrospinal fluid and then say "muh divine essence", you need to base the theory on one thing only, and the basis of there being something present in the fluids implies a natural conduit. Either keep it in natural bounds or rewrite the theory entirely to support the "divine essence" angle.

>> No.55077273

I like the idea presented in Seven Soldiers that the Fair Folk are decadent humans from the end of time, travelling backwards for resources from when Earth wasnt dead and barren.

>> No.55077419

> You can't say it's tied to blood and cerebrospinal fluid and then say "muh divine essence"
But i can
> there being something present in the fluids implies a natural conduit
Counduit from what to where?

Stop embarassing yourself. It is alright if you cannot pack reality of Dr. mengele having found the substance in J*ews and determined its presense as religion-based (or, more accurately, ritual-based) in your theories. Sciences you are trying to apply do not recognize existence of the essense, and yet you cling to them. Well, unlike you Dr. Mengele was a true scientist, who knew that only practice determines truth

>> No.55077429

Why is it that stuff like this sets of this weird prickly reaction at the base of my brain?

>> No.55077552

If it's ritual-based, why haven't we tried to replicate it? Is it because in our current day and age it's viewed as unethical? Or is it because only Jews can perform the rituals necessary? If the latter were the case, why aren't they doing it now?

>> No.55077590

> why haven't we tried to replicate it?
Mengele did
> why aren't they doing it now?
The Elders of Zion... are
Dark truth about blood of christian babies is that it is not actually blood of /christian/ babies

>> No.55077665

There is a race of sentient lizard people who hear through vibrations living amongst us. they communite through hardbass their plans for world domination.

>> No.55077671
File: 64 KB, 166x166, Derpoka.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>They convert babies to Judaism by smacking them with Torahs until the baby starts crying "Oy Vey!" and then they harvest the blood

yes this sounds like the jews i have known in my life

>> No.55077918

Sad truth: there are no hot scientist girls. Nor are there hot scientist boys. We're all just drunken reptilians who are too lazy to take control.

>> No.55078048
File: 42 KB, 546x432, Let Go.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

MKULTRA or Project Monarch was highly successful from a mind control perspective. Subtle images alone is capable of suppressing a populous. More intense forms of emotion/mind/social control can be obtained using small doses of chemicals placed in planes that fly over locations that are beginning to show signs of revolt or ungood thoughtcrime. These processes are not hyper aggressive in order to avoid detection and typically blanket suppression of the populous is better than the acute control of a 'push' in a populous' opinion towards certain ideas.

Instead of making your populous agree with everything you would want them to, it is easier to simply make them apathetic and not care by bombarding their senses with various images that have been ingrained into their head to encourage apathy.

These images can be taught in public school or by simply associating these images with certain events to lead the populous to certain trains of thought that would encourage them (or even benefit them) or remain apathetic.

>> No.55078099
File: 53 KB, 960x631, c-c-can we be friends now.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Don't hug me I'm scared.

>> No.55078197

>I go through everyone's trash

He's /pol/ incarnate holy shit

>> No.55078345
File: 1.18 MB, 380x380, 1488488086315.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I need a quick rundown

>> No.55078385

Jews are behind everything.

>> No.55078438

You're looking at this the wrong way. Converts would be sufficient because converting to Judaism bestows a number of subtle physiological changes, on the subatomic level rather than the chemical or genetic. Nobody's researched whether other religions have similar effects on their worshipers, but it's looking like the Jews just might be God's chosen people after all.

Hence the reason Flash is being phased out by most web browsers?

>> No.55078486

>Hence the reason Flash is being phased out by most web browsers?

Yes. They worked out what the aliens are here for.

...They wish they hadn't.

>> No.55078566

His intelligence, nihilism, and wicked sense of humor, as well as his unusual two-tone black and bright crimson hair all caught the attention of Army officials who singled him out for transfer to the unit.

>> No.55078624


My favourite bit is where he just casually goes "If you want to confirm any of what I said, simply astrally project into the pyramids and read the emerald tablets of Thoth"

It makes me crack up every time

>> No.55079018

See you say this as a joke, but my dad worked as a tax inspector for years and the theory in the VATican was always that the intelligence services were using the mid level pay offs in the national lottery as way to untracably get payment to freelance operatives, so you may not be that far wrong if you leave out the time travel bit.

>> No.55079180

What in the fuck?

>> No.55079183

Werewolves and vampires all went extinct years ago due to over zelous adventurers, now there are only evil aligned druids that belong to a secret society of sexual deviants who like to pretend to be old school monsters.

Thought you saw a lycan shifting? Nope just wild shape.

Vampire turned into mist in front of your eyes? Wild shape into an air elemental with some spell thematics.

Vampire that you killed came back in his coffin? Contingent resurrect spell bound to the coffin more like.

Becoming weakened when bound by silver? That's just cause druids are weakened by all metals and it severs some of their magic.

Needing a stake made of white oak or holly? Well those are both holy woods of good aligned nature gods, and inserting them directly inside an evil druid allows them cancel the flow of evil nature magic.

>> No.55079255
File: 108 KB, 1280x720, pol was right.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Nonsense, /pol/ is always right!
I became aware of so much shit I was never taught in school about history by just browsing /pol/.
Shit like the communist uprising attempts that took place in Weimar and in general, and it's utter state of decadence, which I had never been taught about before. With that knowledge, seeing how western world increasingly has begun to resemble Weimar is eerie as fuck.

>> No.55079346

This is actually true.
CIA used the term conspiracy theorist to discredit people who questioned the official narrative of who assassinated JFK.

>> No.55079398

Going to /pol/ and accepting the information at face value is a good way to follow in the steps of jontron.

You're going to defend your positions publically at some point, and you're going to get rinsed because you've been fed easily disproven bullshit.

>> No.55079483

>Why is it that stuff like this sets of this weird prickly reaction at the base of my brain?

read the entire stuff

>> No.55079694
File: 67 KB, 533x290, Kalergi plan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I don't accept info from /pol/ without question.
I actually looked up the sources and for example, the stuff I read about Weimar on /pol/ checks out completely.

Like for example, this quote from Count Kalergi, the man who has been described as the "father of EU"?
Completely true. I looked up his fucking book, "Practical idealism" where he writes this segment. The whole book itself, is basically him advocating for the abolishment of nation states and democracy, as he believed that the plebs should be ruled by a class of jewish intellectual elites. The fact that this man's thoughts are at the heart of EU, made me basically reject even the notion of the EU as anything other than a malevolent entity. EU is nothing but a project to slowly re-institute aristocratic rule over European people, and to do so EU seeks to ultimately wipe out our distinct cultural and ethnic identities so that we no longer have any foundation upon which to build national consciousness thus making us all easier to rule over by the elites. That's the reason our leaders are pushing multiculturalism into our nations so hard. Even here in Finland, they are already claiming that we have always been "multicultural" and "multiracial" nation so we should all just accept the massive influx of foreigners here.

It is sickening.

>> No.55079747
File: 27 KB, 480x360, ¨harmony.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.55079891

Completely agree here. /pol/ has it's share of crazy conspiracy stuff, but the vast majority of the core beliefs are completely accurate. Jews having an inordinate amount of power, the fact that the Nazis had a completely valid reason to persecute them, central banking systems being a tool to rule without democratic control, etc... Sure you get stuff like Pizzagate, but eventually everything comes out in the wash and all that's left is truth.

>> No.55079908

And do they all look like Yolandi Vi$$er?

>> No.55080243

Well, Belgium is a non-country, but it does exist, sadly. But why would anyone think Finland was fake?

>> No.55080637

Australia doesn't actually exist as a continent. Instead, there's a very small island in SE Asia that they fly people to and call it Australia.

>> No.55081687

Reptilian Jesus willing they do anon.

>> No.55081851

Is this where the concept of elves come from?
Long face, big black eyes (no sclera), pale skin (arctic environ)?

I'll admit, the moment I saw that skull/photoshopped actor, that something primal in me said back off back off fast.

>> No.55082173

OH. ElsaGate!

I remember coming across this a couple weeks ago.

>> No.55082447

I did some research on several of these. I noticed two things.

1. a lot of them only have comments from each other. This kind of makes sense, very young children don't know how to write, but they still want comments to lend themselves an air of legitimacy. Ones that commented on each other's pages also tended to have shared themes between episodes. On one the brother is lazy and punished by the mom, the sister gets a sore throat and gets a shot from the doctor, and their friend plays a prank on the teacher. On another, on the friend plays a prank on the mom and the sister is lazy and gets a shot from the teacher as punishment.

2. The other thing I noticed was.. well here let me show you.

15K views, TOTAL. But at one point, they went from 0 to 40K subscribers overnight, then lost as many the next day. There was one I found who had NEGATIVE VIEWS one day. I don't even understand how that one works, like, did the system recognize they were from bots and remove them? They're not just freaky in terms of seemingly being organized brainwashing covertly targeting children, they're freaky in terms of someone's tampering with their analytics to make sure they show up when they want them to but don't attract suspicion.

>> No.55082524

It's just a way for Indians to make money. They manipulate Youtube's system.

>> No.55082576

Sure but why the stealth emphasis on hardcore fetishes?

>> No.55083028

Member of the Church of Venus/Eros trying to get a higher view count.

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