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[ERROR] No.54862957 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Druid transforms into a bacteria
>Druid multiplies
>Druid reverts back to human
>Duplicate bacteria also revert to a human form
>Now you have an army of approximately 10 million people who are genetically identical to the druid
>They are also Druids
>Army of 10 million Druids take over the world

>> No.54863022

>>54862957
>Druid turns into virus
>Druid infects other bacterium druids
>Bacterium druids start exploding, producing more viral druids
>All of them revert to human form after Bacterium druids are dead
>Now you have an army of approximately 100 million druids who can turn in virus
>99% of the humanoid population dies by these radicals.
>Last 1% is viral druids.
Checkmate bacteria.

>> No.54863040

>druid turns into a bacteria
>lacking sentience, he never turns back

>> No.54863055

>>54863040

>> No.54863057

>>54863040
Druids keep their sentience when in animal form

>checkmate non-druid human

>> No.54863091

>>54862957
The answer is that any duplicate bacteria would not also be druids, despite being genetically identical. It's the same case as if a druid turned into a bear and got a female bear pregnant. The offspring are still genetically normal bears.

At best, you've got an awakened bacteria on your hands, but it'll have a hard time using that fact to any end.

>> No.54863097

>>54862957
>Druid transforms into a bacteria

Hate to be That Guy, but Wild Shape only lets you (depending on the edition) turn into an animal, plant, or elemental.

Bacteria aren't animals or plants (or elementals). They're their own entirely distinct domain.

The domains are: Archaea, Bacteria, and Eukarya. The last is what both animals and plants belong to.

By point is that the druid is a cheating bastard.

>> No.54863131

>>54863097
Not all bacteria

>> No.54863161

A druid could never turn into a bacterium because bacteria are bacteria, not animals, you fucking moron

same reason why it can't turn into a protozoa or slime mold

>> No.54863203

>>54862957
In a fantasy, low-tech world, a Druid is not aware of bacteria, and Humours do not have s corporeal form.

>> No.54863208

>>54863097
But a Druid can turn into yo momma, cause she's a beast!

>> No.54863212

>>54863040
/thread

>> No.54863225

>>54863057
bacteria are not animals
also, depends on the system
If you're going with generic D&D, druids have never been able to transform into bacteria in any edition

>> No.54863248

>>54863225
>>54863161
>>54863097

>bacteria are not animals
>therefore druids can't turn into bacteria

But what if no druid has ever tried it yet?

>> No.54863443

>>54863248
All of them that tried didn't change back.

>> No.54863489

>>54863248
Well there's probably not a lot of microscopes in the giant tree they got their druid diploma, so most probably haven't really done the "observation" phase needed to actually transform in the first place. Bacteria still isn't an animal though

>> No.54863510

>>54862957
>Druid tries to transform into a bacterium
>Druid fails to transform into a bacterium

>> No.54863518

>>54863443
makes sense to me.
/thread

>> No.54864255

>>54863489
>so most probably haven't really done the "observation" phase needed to actually transform in the first place
This is definitely a more important caveat than just, "it's not an animal." Unless the druid has some supernatural/magical way of being able to see bacteria, they won't be able to change into it.

>> No.54864619

>>54863097
>Druid turns himself into planarian flatworm
>Cut Druid into 200 pieces
>Each pieces grows into a new druid with the same consciousness in 200 bodies.

>> No.54865157

>>54863225
True
Therefore:

>druid becomes a sponge

>party splits "druid" into small pieces of independent sponge and wait for the "druid" and his pieces of sponge to generate into new ones over the course of a decade or so

Boom, tons of druids

>> No.54865286

>>54865157
Summon a ghost to age the sponge-druids for no wait insta-druids.

>> No.54865321

>>54865157
but anon if druids stay in wild shape for longer than one hour they can NEVER CHANGE BACK.

How will they defeat the evil Yeerks then?

>> No.54865322

>>54865157
Wild shape has a timer

>> No.54865337

>tfw rule change to Wildshape limits it to "animals that can ONLY reproduce sexually"

>> No.54865354

>>54862957
In GURPS the Druid pathway can be specialized in each different type of animal.

You can shapeshift into a bacteria if you specialize in bacteria

>> No.54865363

>>54864619
How many HP does a flatworm have. 1? I think it's 1.

>> No.54865399

>>54865363
Planarian Flatworms can be cut into over 200 pieces without any harm, and every single piece will grow into a new flatworm. They even reproduce purposefully like this, splitting themselves in half instead of self-fertilizing or fucking another Flatworm.

They're basically immune to HP.

>> No.54865535

>>54865399
Immune to piercing and cutting damage rather. Fire and disease would drop their hp plenty fast.

>> No.54865596

>>54865286
>dry the sponge
>store the dust in a bottle
>just add water for insta-druid

>> No.54865621

>>54865596
This is a thing for me now.

>> No.54865633

>>54865399
>turn into a mosquito
>fly into your enemy's bedroom while he's sleeping
>land on his butt, turn into a worm
>crawl up his anus
>turn back while you're firmly lodged in his lower intestine
>???

>> No.54865635

>druid transforms into an enormous space-whale
>his gravitational field destroys the solar system

>> No.54866099

>>54863097
There are some druid variants that can turn into gelatinous cubes tho

>> No.54866204

>>54865321
Shut up anon.
The ending of that fucking series ruined my childhood for a few minutes.

>> No.54866443

>>54865633
Enlarge specifically says you attain the maximum possible size in a confined space. So ad hoc ruling, you get stuck as an anal blockage.

>> No.54866598

I love you /tg/

>> No.54867070

>>54865596
Well that one's going in a less serious campaign now for sure.

>> No.54867289

But what do you do if the DM says no?

>> No.54867308

>>54867289
At that point, you outnumber the GM, so call a vote and make him allow it.

>> No.54867368

>>54865337
>Turn into a Starfish
>Cut off limbs so they can become copies of the original druid

Regeneration is not their method of reproduction, checkmate atheist.

>> No.54868662

>>54867308

/thread

>> No.54868745

Does D&D even have bacteria? I mean, they're clearly lacking genes and other mechanisms that stabilize species IRL.

>> No.54868888

So basically ITT: Cancer mage disease form?

>> No.54868970

>>54863225
>>54863248
Druids have to have seen and studied the thing they transform into.

So unless they have really good microscopes they can't transform into bacteria on account of never having actually seen one.

>> No.54868995

>>54868970

In other words it's just a matter of time before a Druid discovers them

>> No.54869049

>Somewhere, somewhen a GM has to deal with this bullshit at a table

>> No.54869141

>>54862957
>transform into bacteria
>get eaten by white blood cell immediately

well shit

>> No.54869149

>>54869049
I would allow it then turn it incredibly wrong.

The bacteria have mutated extremely fast and beyond the original druid, so now the new BBEG is a colony of mutant druids.

>> No.54869392

>>54863097
There are plenty of single-celled eukaryotes. Some of which are even visible to the naked eye and closely related to standard D&D wildlife.

>> No.54869431

>>54862957
>the upper class pays the sentinent druid bacterias to join their children's bacteriaflora, creating a race of people with high magical resistances and various other inborn magic powers that actively defend their hosts from harm.

>> No.54869551

>druid transforms into himself
>cuts his arm off
>casts regenerate on himself
>turns back into himself
>now he has a spare arm

>> No.54869597

>>54868745
What.

Where in the canon does it state that they don't have DNA?

>> No.54869608

>>54869141
This, have the bacteria eaten/out-competed by something else. So it technically works, but for all intents and purposes, the druid winds up only multiplying himself once or twice.

>> No.54869625

>>54863022
Well at least druid didn't turn into pic related.
Or something like HIV.

>> No.54869634

>>54863091
Pretty sure "druid that commands an army of awakened bacteria" would be a god damn terrifying villain if done right

even if it was a hivemind sort of intelligence where only every 100 million bacteria constituted a proper person, it'd still be one hell of a trick to actually fight it

>> No.54869647

>All this autism about bacteria
>Forgetting that bacteria are smaller than what you can mimic with wild shape

>> No.54869662

>>54862957

you are aware that bacteria have no cognitive functions? it would basically be the same as transforming into a rock, except that the bacterium will multiply a few times before its incredibly brief lifespan comes to an end

>> No.54869677

>>54869662
well given there's precedent for druids retaining their full mental capacities when shifting into a shape without a central nervous system, pretty sure this falls under "it's magic"

>> No.54869786

>>54869634
Kill it with fire

>> No.54870366

>>54869597
how the fuck does a human make kids with a huge six-limbed lion-raptor-serpent-bat-creature

>> No.54870382

>>54862957
1)bacteria is not an animal
2) no way in hell a druid knows what a bacteria is
3) even if he could transform into a bacteria the other bacteria he multiplied into will remain bacterias

>> No.54870920

>>54862957
>antibiotics fall
>everyone dies

>> No.54870997

>>54865596
it all makes sense now

>> No.54871589

>>54862957
You're thinking of a Cancer Mage (10) OP.
Additionally, the most powerful PrC combo in 3.5 is a Cancer mage (10) And Entropomancer (10)

You are literally a living virus immune to the heat-death of the entire universe who is empowered by all forms of bacteria in almost the same manner as one subject to the blessing of Nurgle, except you are literally immune to any negative issues pox and plague causes you.

To put that into perspective, you could ear carrion, and only get high from it and not get sick, could eat the flesh of Atropal Scions, which are undead Godflesh, Eat Dead gods, eat anything Tharizdun touches, and only gain benefits from it.

And you also have the powers of Vanilla Ice from Jojo's bizzare adventure.

>> No.54871652

>>54870366
>make kids with a huge six-limbed lion-raptor-serpent-bat-creature
You have my attention anon

>> No.54871705

>>54871652
I'm guessing he is just talking about dragons anon

>> No.54873404

>>54863022
Viruses aren't living things.

>> No.54873531

>>54866443
>Go to the medic to see why you cannot shit.
"Sir, theres another druid lodged into your rectal cavity."

Fucking druids.

>> No.54873917

>>54868970
What's an animal that has microscopic vision?

>> No.54874025

>>54869647
>druid magically shrinks a mouse down so it's smaller than a bacteria
>now druids worldwide can transform into bacteria
Checkmate.

>> No.54874060

>>54873404
Check your DNA privilege.

>> No.54874072

>>54865633
This reminds me of how I've always wanted to play a build with master of many forms where I just defeat anything by

>>become smallest creature you can
>>get ingested, breathed in, swallowed etc. Whatever orifice works for you
>>transform into a slime
>>eat them from the inside
>>as you get to the end of the process assume their form
>>profit

>> No.54874163

>>54864619
>transform back to druid
>all the flatworms transform into the original druid
>immediately suffer damage for being cut into 200 pieces

>> No.54874228

>>54869392
What would a yeast elemental even look like?

Just a pile of slime?

>> No.54874282

>> No.54874317

>>54862957
No.

>> No.54874545

>>54873917
A very small elephant.

>> No.54874593

>>54873404
t. butthurt Protozoa

>> No.54874932 [SPOILER] 

>>54863040
>implying

O

>> No.54874969

>>54869625
holy shit, genius
>CE Prototype druid goes snackbar in the capital of the empire

I'm SO stealing this

>> No.54875150

>not drinking water elementals
>not breathing air elementals

>> No.54875233

>>54865157
do mushrooms count as a thing druids can become? if so, be a mushroom, spores will send your duplicate far and wide.

>> No.54875253

>>54875150
Nice way to get killed.

>> No.54877645

>druid transforms into a sperm
>fertilises an egg
>immortality

>> No.54879283

>>54877645

>> No.54879342

>>54875150
I'd be kind of sketchy about any elemental that would allow you to do so

I mean, there's two reasons that would happen and neither of them are good.

>> No.54879344

>>54863097
But what about Mushrooms?

>> No.54879968

>>54870382
Thank you for your contribution of three arguments other people had already made.

>> No.54879986

>>54879344
Fungi are also eukaryotes, anon.

>> No.54880062

>>54862957
Druids can wildshape into bateria, bacteria ain't an animal or insect.

sincerely, the fun police.

>> No.54880990

>>54862957
>Only the original turns back into the druid
Was this really so hard?

>> No.54881014

>>54863097
Druids are also limited by size categories. Smallest they can get is Fine, around the size of a fairy.

>> No.54881386

>>54862957
Assuming d&d, that's not how it works from similar examples; see shifting into swarms of vermin, or the cancer mage or whatever that class was called that could literally turn into a disease.

>> No.54881468

>>54862957
Not a beast.

>> No.54881502

>>54862957
>>54874228
>Druid turns into yeast bacteria
>proceeds to make the most awesome booze, bread, and Vegemite

>> No.54881593

>>54881502
>Laugh when druid gets yeast infection.

>> No.54882344

>>54875233
While eukaryotic, fungi are not animals.

They are related to us much closer than any bacterium, but not within the realm of "animal".

>> No.54882429

>>54869149
>I would allow it then turn it incredibly wrong.
>The bacteria have mutated extremely fast and beyond the original druid, so now the new BBEG is a colony of mutant druids.

This.

>turn back into human form
>"Hey, why am I missing half my HP?"

>> No.54882564

>>54862957
>>Duplicate bacteria also revert to a human form

>All the bacteria were in a small space

>When transformed, all the humans also try to fit into that small space

>Most die from crushing related injuries mid transformation.

>If in a confined space, all die.

>In in an open space, those around the edges get moved quite some distance by the growth of the others. So they get pasted by the g-forces involved.

No survivors.

>> No.54882632

>>54863022
>>54862957
Stealing this for Plague Inc

>> No.54882667

>>54882564
You've got a thick cell wall

>> No.54882714

>>54862957
>implying a character in a civilization equivalent to the middle ages even knows what bacteria are
>implying microbiology of a world with literal magic is even the same as our world

>> No.54882766

>>54882714
"Madam, I have not disappeared. I am very tiny. I'm a germ. A rare disease. I'm called "malagolintomontorosis," and you caught me, Mim!"

>>
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