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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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53249267 No.53249267 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>> No.53249289

myself

>> No.53249344

The anon above me is a pretty shit DM

>> No.53249370

>>53249267
I had a DM that once skipped over traveling through orcland as a favor to the players despite several characters learning orcish and most of the players being excited about it. I don't play with people who aren't my friends or mutual friends so I haven't had any extremo autismo DMs.

>> No.53249427

>RPG convention
>see one of the tables have Dark Sun
>Have barely heard of it before, kinda excited to see how AD&D 2ed plays, or maybe a 3ed conversion
>It was 4ed, the DM is an old guy who seems to be in his 40s
>"I've heard many bad things about 4ed, but if the master knows how to handle them it will be fine, right?
>Wastes more than an hour just explaining and talking about the setting rather than playing
>its not even interesting because he is just reading from a book of a pre-made campaign he had "prepared"
>we finally get control of our characters, me playing a thri-kreen gladiator, a ranger elf and a rogue halfling, all lv 2
>the first encounter he puts us against is a bunch of bullshit guys with insane AC, HP and dealing a fuckton of damage of 2d6+12. A sneak peak revealed to me that it was supposed to be an encounter for level 4 characters
>at one point, with the combat being insufferably slow, after the elf rolls damage he says "Hsss you left him with just one HP!" instead of just simply killing it to get on with it
>all the rolls he makes us do are at least difficulty 15
>Never ever throws a bone to his players, who, me included, have never played 4ed before
>At one point I tried to deviate from the quest but he started to put excuses to railroad me back on track, so I just gave up so as to not spark an argument

It ended prematurely because the fucker took too much time with everything and ended before we could accomplish shit.
It was really fucking boring

>> No.53249468

>>53249289
This guy.

>> No.53250164
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53250164

>playing Only War
>make character along with GM
>we iron out all details and create a great rookie character for driving the units vehicles
>spend the first half hour talking with the other PCs
>drive them to some enemy fortress or something along these lines
>one PC goes on to "scout" and ends up infiltrating the compound
>spend the entire rest of the session watching him and the GM interact while everybody else sat in the vehicle and never got any focus
>give up, whip out my laptop and spend the entire evening playing BoS
>never return

GMs who do that should be castrated by fire.

>> No.53250209

>>53250164
how fucking boring, some people need to remember that it is a game and in situations like this it is correct to do a bit meta saying things like "you should call the rest of your squad" or similar

it is also that player's fault

>> No.53250408

Fairly low tier bad DM, but here it is.

>Mutual friend runs 5E for us.
>Running el LMOP
>playing dank wizard, excited because hard to organise my friends to do anything consistently
>Other party members are barbarian, and I forget the last. Maybe rogue?
>Fight the goblins, things seem alright, head into Phandalin
>Things continue to seem fine, meet some people, do whatever
>15gp to spend the night at tavern. I wasn't aware we were dining with His Majesty
>find the bandit cucks hanging about, and try intimidate them to leave.
>Have my raven familiar swoop from rooftop to attack and surprise round, to add effect to my intimidation
>Nope.jpg
>Roll intitiative
>fucking 3, guess I don't get a surprise round.
>skip ahead, beat they ass, move onto churhc and delve down that shit.
>Fight more dudes, see some stuff. Barbarian gets rekt by bugbear duo, we find his replacement character in one of the cell rooms later.
>Barbarian died because a nat 1 meant he "bounced his sword off the wall, skewering himself" dealing enough damage to instakill apparently, fuck death saving throws am I right?
>Fast forward further, encounter with quadroped one eye fucker, psychic damage out the arse.
>rescued a goblin from the bugears and was using as guide. Decided he was a shit and kicked him down the hole.
>Wakes up midair, lands, and grabs the chest of monster loot and fucks off. Wot?
>Longer post than anticipated, apologies..
>access Mcwizard Evilbro Esq.'s room via secret door, is caught in a room with a few angry players.
>Start talking it out, announce I cast sleep midsentence. "Roll initiiative"
>Nat 20, fuck yeah, sleep incoming
>Except nope... 'You find yourself unable to speak"
>one shitty combat later, he has invisobilled himself out of dodge and we have to just rock on. Got a fireball staff, and paladin(third was paladin, just remembered) got a sunblade. Legendary tier items.
>Back to inn, more cash, move on.
part 2 incoming, not much more to say.

>> No.53250446

>>53250408
Pt2
>On the road again.wav
>Send familiar scouting ahead to watch for bullshit.
>orcs
>try to hide off innawoods
>Shit rolls so nope. Combat ensues.
>we're all beat up so fuck it, cast sleep
>"That would kill you?"
>"What?"
>Spent 10 minutes trying to explain that sleep does not in fact do damage
>got through combat somehow, without sleep.
>3 players, 5 orcs, bad times.
>Left it there, didn't play again.

I want to actually play through Lost Mines of Phandelver, but without the autism.

>> No.53251678
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53251678

My DM tries to force us into his (poorly written) story. Like, railroading to the point that we can't even explore or anything on our own.

He inserted TWO DM controlled characters into the party (both of which are homebrewed and completely broken) despite the fact that they weren't needed.

He also allowed a couple of the players to bring in homebrew classes which are also completely broken. Like a gunslinger who can fire 3 shots a turn, all of which will one-shot most enemies. The 'downside' of this class is supposed to be that ammo is INSANELY expensive, but the problem is are DM doesn't take track of item/shop costs.

Another character just flat out can't die. He just regenerates.

There's more, but that's the worst I can think of off the top of my head.

>> No.53252163

>>53249267
>DM want tips and critics
>Say his NPCs are interesting, but their speech feels like it's pre-written, and it will be great to have some sideplots
>Got my character's plothooks cut off because DM was not pleased

Next game

>Space redneck hobo accidentely slips into cutscene meant for scientist PC
>Whole scene looks like vidya bug, NPCs treat hobo like a scientist, hobo ends up dead
>Plot is destroyed
>Everyone dies because no one noticed that one particular NPC said one very important word

>> No.53252331
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53252331

>>53252163
>>Everyone dies because no one noticed that one particular NPC said one very important word
Ugh, reminds me of another pretty bad GM.

>paranormal shittery game
>we are three sessions in and only violence works
>all prayers and wards stop the demons as efficiently as flowers stop tanks
>random priest knocks on a PC's door
>gives him a talisman and a prayer
>PC wears talisman but learns prayer
>demons do complete outbreak
>PC with prayer dies on the first round
>the rest of the party is permanently trapped with demons because they can't recite the prayer they don't know exists
>mfw gm doesn't even try to find a way for them to learn about the prayer
>mfw I'm the dead guy

>> No.53252612

> That one DM who spends two hours on a scene where a trader haggles with a single PC over the price of a piece of leather amour

>> No.53252955
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53252955

>>53252612
>That one DM who decides that haggling for leather armor must get tied in the plot somehow and makes it ungodly difficult to just get the damn thing
>That one DM that is willing to spend an entire session with the PCs haggling leather armor with a very sweaty man that isn't evil I promise
>That one DM that ditches the game after we refuse to buy anything ever again in fear of haggling for five sessions straight

Make the memories go away

>> No.53253010
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53253010

>>53249267
>DM forces ERP to get infos/quests/loots

That was the second most gayest shit I have ever did

>> No.53253087

>>53250408
>>53250446
>Roll nat 1
>Let wacky thing that hurts yourself happen

I'd tell that DM to go fuck himself with a cactus.

>> No.53253374

>>53250164
Had a DM do something like this. Thing is the party split was something the DM could have seen from miles away but it seems he didn't have anything planned to deal with it. It's especially bad when you consider that the outcome could be decided by skill checks.

End result was everyone drifting off to do their own thing whilst the DM and one player would go through special story stuff an entire dimension removed from the rest of us. The pace of the campaign was already incredibly slow too, and this dragged it to a crawl. At one point this took up over half a session and it ended afterwards so the rest of us may as well have just left an hour in instead of taking up our time.

Wasn't the worst DM though. The worst we had basically just wrote a book with skill checks in it.

>> No.53253894

>>53253010
>second most gayest shit i have ever does
what's the first [\spoiler]

>> No.53256326

'dm' takes 23 minutes at adjudicate a web spell. Turns to me: you have 6 seconds!

whines about all the stuff I carry and claims I'm over the limit. I pass my character sheet to another player who tallys it and sez I botched the math.I'm 20+ lbs under

Does not read up on hazard rules and changes them to make out decisions wrong so he can poke fun at us

>> No.53258013

>>53250164
>yall mofucks didnt get out of the truck why?

>> No.53258394

>>53258013
Because it seemingly was written out of existence. Even when we tried to talk to each other IC and start some banter, the GM just told us to roll perception, we failed and then nothing happened while he got back to Solid Snake going inside the base.

>> No.53259051
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53259051

>first time playing NWoD
>GM gives us all info on where to make character sheets and how
>tells us to use whatever materials we find
>oh fuck mages are awesome
>make mage
>arrive at session ~20 minutes early
>he's remaking a character with someone and shooting down everything
>already other sheets in trash
>others are sitting at table with handwriting that looks similar to eachother's sheets
>eventually everyone is given premade characters
>starts reading long intro in which he essentially describes everything our characters are doing
>kills two when he's finished with a 'by the way'
>calls the session to a close saying he has 'nothing else prepared'
>why did he even have us here
>never show up again

>> No.53259116
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53259116

>>53259051
No seriously, what? What the fuck?

>> No.53259168

>>53259116
He seriously had a 20 minute monologue and that was it. I can't even remember most of it. I think he mostly talked about how literally every character was divorced now or something.

>> No.53259375

>>53249267
Worst GM I've ever had was for a pokemon tabletop game over Roll20. She was very excited to run the game, so we were pumped too... up until that moment during the first session where the sister of one of the PCs revealed she was pregnant and about to marry a fire-type monkey pokemon.

That wasn't the lowest point, though. Almost immediately following that a particularly androgynous PC was kidnapped by a Chad prince of the country to be royal boipussy. Got married against his will and everything.

Now, I thought this was hilarious because I wasn't taking it very seriously, but the player of that PC was pretty distressed, so I went over and rescued him (even though the GM kept trying to make it impossible). Eventually we escaped and started planning regicide so the new "princess" could dig some gold out of the rapist's death. The barkeep magically heard us talking about it and told us about the legendary power of the princes of this kingdom to know their true love at first sight, and that everyone knows it's true and we should believe it too.

At this point I was so creeped out by the sheer example of magical realm that I unplugged my router to fake connection issues.

>> No.53259451
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53259451

>>53259375
Pic related

Yes, poke-fucking was socially accepted and led to viable pregnancies. We didn't stick around long enough to see the abomination get birthed.

>> No.53259481
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53259481

>>53259375
>>53259451

>> No.53259804
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53259804

>>53249427
Is this bait?
>brings up edition wars shit even though it isn't at all relevant to the story
>complains about Dark Sun being harder than the average D&D game
>complains that a convention game is pre-planned
>complains that a convention game is railroaded

>> No.53260151

>>53249289
/thread.

>> No.53260953

>>53249267

>playing an RPG for the first time
>vampire the masquerade
>don't remember most of it, basically we had to interrogate the boss of that arc
>reach her office, combat happens and sheit
>we are trying to leave her alive so we can interrogate her
>then all of the sudden she fucking dies in her turn
>"wtf who killed her"
> there is an NPC in a corner of the office
> "yeah, he has been there all the time, you just didn't look"
>he escapes or wathever
>never play that game again (actually played more games with the same DM)

>> No.53262264

>>53250408
>>53250446

They way you write I'd say you deserve the worst of DMs.

>> No.53262300

> pathfinder
> "steampunk" setting
> we are a team of 3 in a enemy army camp. My Dragon disciple friend uses an invisibility spell and Flyes up to study the camp
> rolls something like a 23 in perception
> "what do i see?" " .... nothing... its a camp"
> DM doesent want to reveal the camp map so he decides to get down and esplore sthealth
> stealth check 25
> as soon as he put foot in the camp an OP guard catches
> "the terrain is muddy, you didn't noticed that
> campaign abandoned like Two session later

>> No.53262396

>>53250408
>Barbarian died because a nat 1 meant he "bounced his sword off the wall, skewering himself" dealing enough damage to instakill apparently, fuck death saving throws am I right?
I'm all for having dumb shit happen on a 1 but this is beyond retarded.

>> No.53262564

>>53249289
>>53249344
Pottery

>> No.53262591

>>53250164

I did this shit. It was my first game, and I immediately realised my mistake...

>Give the plot hook to one of the characters
>'infiltrate the bad guys' palace!'
>player decides it'd be safer to go it alone
>I make it clear this is a big thing, not just a quick one.. they can investigate dozens of rooms that are planned
>I show him the worksheets I've made for each room where they can write down who is going to which rooms and what their spot/search checks are, and various d100 rolls which will determine what happens on the inside
>going it alone
>the rest of the party went into the other room and my now-husband ran some side quest for them
>they had way more fun than me
>player I was stuck with eventually tries to pvp and leads to everyone wanting to move on
>regret everything

>> No.53262608

>>53249267
>20 lv 20 DMPC's. For a lv 1 campaign. All the foes are lvs 1-4.
>A few of them show up every time anyone anywhere takes damage.
>Asked to be allowed to take risk and suffer losses.
>you want to do that how about you DM.
>DM'ed for next 3 Years.

Also

>Co-Dm's
>Never willing to give a strait answer about anything.
"White flakes fall from the sky. Is it snow? Is it chipped bones from a giant skeleton or sugar? You'll never know!" Or "your walking on brown stuff. No I won't call it dirt, sod or even looking like dirt! No neither of your trained rangers can figure out what it is!(it was dirt mixed with mud, because it was snowing)"
>every NPC with a speaking role walks around with their armies, never less then 1,000 men. No in said armies will speak in your presence.
Ended after the first session when everyone decided that the only way to bring peace to the world wasn't to fight the other morally gray armies but to dedicate our lives to peace and inspiring others into non violent solutions to problems. Also to figure out what the fuck was falling from the sky, if their was in fact a sky, and what color you could call said sky.

>> No.53262664

>>53249267
>Dark Sun setting
>Like, 3 mages in the group and nobody cares
>Very first session we encounter something imbued with divine magic
>Oh hey, the treasure has like 4 metal items in it
>A tankard item? Oh, it can generate any liquid... Infinitely... Well, goodbye water scarcity.
>You're teleporting us GM? W-well okay. Wait, 4 times? Across the entire setting? The fuck?
>Oh hey, we've been captured by a Sorcerer king... O-oh, so you're playing him as not being a bad guy?
>Okay so he wants us to work for him? Like, us the group of level 2 shit-kickers?
>S-so this guy we're looking at right now, given he just threw us at a portal... You're literally going to describe him to us as level 30? And he forces us to drink this reality-breaking potion thing which stops anyone from knowing what we saw here?
>And the Sorcerer-King doesn't care that we came back literally incapable of telling him what we saw?
>And you mention that next session we're going to be investigating a Starjammer?

And I never talked to that GM again.

>> No.53262748

>>53250164
Had a GM do this about a year or two ago and it was great. Mainly because the player he was pushing out of focus was an insufferable retard that wasn't invested in the game at all.

>> No.53262857

Pf
DM full of himself, he thinks he's a great actor
He writes a settings and a story
Which characters we are is indifferent we just have to participate to his story
There is only a way to do things or the game stops
If we try to do something else DM uses fucking god-like npcs to kill us
You can't roleplay of you aren't LG

I did 3 runs with this DM

>> No.53264128

>>53262748
One player that isn't giving half a shit is understandable. The entire party minus one guy is not.

Reading comprehension, my dude.

>> No.53265088

All of this makes me happy I have a normal group of spastics

>> No.53266269

>>53249370
They may have not been prepared to have an orcland sandbox for the players, and felt more comfortable railroading to the plot. Seems like too-familiar scenario.

>> No.53266824
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53266824

>>53262591
>husband

Haha, queer

>> No.53266950

>>53249267
>i join his 5e game
>kill things, almost no rp, everything is fast travel from encounter to encounter.
>sessions with zero planning, adhoc plotlines that lead to nowhere
>anything the party plans to do is derailed by his DMPCs interfering
>players spout ebin memes at every opportunity
>he asks me why my character feels like it isn't part of the party

One of his dungeons had a puzzle where the answer was "pull the lever, and the thing you're on turns in to an elevator", only it took him 5 minutes of examining our surroundings until he told us there's a lever.

Seriously.

>> No.53267756
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53267756

>>53249267

>> No.53267789

>>53266950
That sounds about par the course for any D&D ever. The system is practically made for that shit and anyone moving out of it has to houserule and otherwise go beyond what the rules are for.

>> No.53267927

>>53262264
why if i may ask? It appears that e misunderstood some concepts (''surprise round''), but that does not justify a nat-one-deals-autohit-self-kill-DM

>> No.53268104

>>53267927
You put memes in your writing and barely a step above texting.

>> No.53268969

The way most of these boring, badly written stories are typed, I'm detecting a fuck-load of same-fagging

>> No.53269522

>>53268969
Bad DM detected

>> No.53269984
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53269984

>>53249267
>playing V:TM
>every NPC is a DMPC
>all of them are unique snowflakes that are either an incredibly rare clan, a weird creature or a combination of both of those
>one of them was literally a ghost, a magician and a Baali at the same time
>for some reason he also had three eyes and all of them were gems
>all of his NPCs act exactly the same: the act all tough and bossy, if you don't do exactly what they say, they instantly kill you with their weird OP powers
>at the end of every game he berates us on how bad we are at roleplaying our characters because we don't make them like the stereotypical [insert clan here] should act
>one day DM takes me apart from the group
>"come here, anon, let me show you how Y make my NPC character sheets, I know I can trust you on this"
>he picks an empty character sheet and start putting maximum stats everywhere
>he also adds 4 or 5 points of Fortitude, Potence and Celerity
>looks at me with a big, proud, dumb smile on his face
>"and you make all of them like this?"
>"yup, each and every NPC you encounter, anon"
>he keeps smiling like this is some sort of great accomplishment for him
>never show up to his games again

>> No.53270052

>>53269522
Probably. I've never done it.
I'm merely commenting on the writing quality however, silly

>> No.53270056

Decide to try dming for the first time because i have a wierd schedule 24 on 48 off and cant commit to a single day per week. Things go ok for a few weeks, doing a pf module, discover that my playera have bought the module guide, read ahead, maximzed thier pcs to curb stomp everything, know exacty where traps are etc, etc
Delete roll20 account never speak to them again.
Kinda feel bad about it

>> No.53270427
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53270427

>>53269984
>different DM, but also playing Vampire
>before making our characters, DM tells us it's going to be some kind of spy-themed game, and we're a vampire squad
>sure, why not
>DM secretly tells me I'm a double agent and my objective is to sabotage the mission
>ok, let's roll with it
>make a Setite who looks fucking big and tough but actually put most of my points in social skills
>spend all the session gaining the other players trust
>at the end of the first session I'm basically the group's leader and everybody makes what I say
>pumped out because I'm gonna fucking kill this shit
>second session starts
>we get called to some lab where we met a few scientists and a kid
>"yeah, we have mutated vampire ADN to create a new discipline"
>wut
>"it's called omniscience"
>wut
>"this kid is now the most powerful vampire alive and also knows everything about everything"
>wut
>kid wants to talk to us
>"hey guys, did you know the setite is a fucking traitor?"

>> No.53270486
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53270486

>>53270427
What the fuck.

>2 sessions in
>Omniscience
>superpowerful vampire child cooked up in a lab
>mutated vampire DNA

>> No.53271591

>>53252955
>>That one DM that ditches the game after we refuse to buy anything ever again in fear of haggling for five sessions straight

kek
thanks

>> No.53274671

>>53260953
remembered another game with the same guy

>6 or 7 years after that (last year I think)
>DM is in love with anima, organices a campaing
>but he is fucking lazy
>He just copies one, but it is not a premade campaing noooo
>It's a preplayed campaing
>what that means is that he downloaded another DM campaing transcript
>he spects us to do the same thing the players in the transcripts did
>for example
>"ok player, roll for perception" (dont remember if anima had perception or not, it was something like that)
>*SUCCESS
>you realize you need to pee
>he goes to the bathroom and nothing happened (probably the player in the transcription failed the roll, and that happened)
>bunch of shit like that, never went back
>the rest of the players fill me in on what was the second and final game
>trying to solve a mistery in a village
>they tried for hours
>they were supossed to talk to some exact person and say the same words the player used in the transcript

>> No.53274922
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53274922

>>53274671
>>they were supossed to talk to some exact person and say the same words the player used in the transcript
That riles me up in the most unreasonable way.

>> No.53275035

I've got an axe to grind with my current GM, though he's mostly great.

We're playing Pathfailure. I'm the only one in the group with any real degree of system mastery.
The first time we made characters, all as a group, GM asked me to tune down some things. Yeah, sure, that's perfectly alright. Tuned down the things he asked me to, we played a couple sessions, all was good.
>"Anon, I've been getting some complaints about your character, could you switch to a new one?"
Ok, sure. Made another, different character. Worked with the GM on parts of it.
>"Great, Anon. This is great, what I wanted you to make the first time."
Uh, ok, not sure why you OK'd the first one then. Whatever. Played another few sessions.
>"Anon, I've been getting some complaints about your character, could you switch to a new one?"
>"Great, Anon. This is great, what I wanted you to make the first time."
ok.jpg, another few sessions.
>"Anon, I've been getting some complaints about your character, could you switch to a new one?"
Well what fucking complaints, since none of these characters have been mechanically similar. I need to know what's bothering people if I'm going to avoid it.
>"They're anonymous complaints, so I can't really say."
>"And can you try to change characters less, it's making it hard to work you into the plot."

WELL NO FUCKING SHIT I HAVE TO CHANGE CHARACTERS A LOT WHEN PEOPLE ARE BITCHING ABOUT SOME UNKNOWN THING ABOUT MY CHARACTERS AND YOU KEEP OKING THEM AND NEVER TELLING ME WHAT THE ISSUE WAS.
Jesus fuck, it shouldn't be this hard.

>> No.53275086

>>53249267
Who was it that drew this thing again?

>> No.53275701
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53275701

>>53275035
Try not min-maxing and making the other players feel worthless.

>> No.53275740

>>53275701
I was running a fucking buffbard at first. LITERALLY ALL I was doing in combat was making everybody else kick ass.
I was the only one who had invested skill points in diplomacy, so the party ASKED me to handle talky shit.
You sir, can go fuck yourself, the problem lies not with me.

>> No.53275789

>>53275740
Then ask the party or quit the game if your GM is being such a shit.

Your story implies something might be wrong with you, or your group is shit.

>> No.53275870

>>53251678
Sounds like the game I just aborted.

>> No.53275946

>>53270427
>Mutated vampire DNA.
Even if dead cells could be mutated.
Ya lose it come sun up. Your corpse reverts to when you died.

>> No.53277614
File: 19 KB, 300x250, 1494724857040.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53277614

>LISTEN

>1. I JUST woke up.
>2. I will talk to you ONCE i get my cup of morning joe.
>3. Once I've had my cup THEN you can proceed to roll your stats.
Why are DMs suddenly acting like this?

>> No.53277724

>>53277614
Doesn't sound like an unreasonable demand to me, now does it? I too have responsibilites and am cranky in the morning.

>> No.53282432

>>53266269
Might as well play a video game instead of a tabletop game then.

>> No.53283980

>>53267756
Wow. Just wow. I thought I had bad dms. Fuck me running.

>> No.53284097

>>53283980
Sounds like that DM would.

>> No.53284230
File: 126 KB, 1210x528, thenthedevilpopsout.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53284230

>>53249267

>> No.53284255

>>53253894
Your Waifu.

>> No.53284505
File: 1.81 MB, 720x540, Every_single_reaction_image_possible.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53284505

>>53259375
>Pokemon tabletop game over roll20

>> No.53284596

>>53249427
>me playing a thri-kreen gladiator, a ranger elf and a rogue halfling, all lv 2
Seems kinda unfair that you control three characters, anon.

>> No.53284636

>>53267756
Why would you let that creeper be the co-dm after the 5 red flags from earlier? Just... God damn

>> No.53284642

>>53249289
fuck, beat me to it.

>> No.53284687

>>53270427
>>53269984
Holy shit I thought I was bad at running wod/cofd

>> No.53284759

>>53267927
Because that poster is a manlet and you shouldn't take his bait

>> No.53284802

>>53259168
That sounds like a punishment from a hidden camera show that thrives off cringe comedy

>> No.53284838

>>53270427
Why did he even set you up for the kill if he was just going to cook block you

>> No.53284876
File: 776 KB, 500x273, stan.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53284876

>Playing pirate campaign
>Playing character with a gambling theme
>Tell the GM I'd like to get a derringer at some point
>Next island we get to a marketplace
>See a stall selling guns, one of them is a derringer
>I think "Oh cool he threw one into the game for me"
>I ask the merchant how much it is
>GM gives me some absurd price, way more than the price for a normal gun and way more than I have.
>"I guess I'll try and haggle with him"
>"He doesn't speak English"
>"Uh, okay. Well my slight of hand's really high, I guess I'll try and distract him and steal it."
>"You can't, it's locked in a case"
>...Seriously? Okay fuck it, I'm a pirate, I'll just smash the glass and rob it from the guy"
>"You can't, it's in a steel case"
>"What!? then how the fuck did I see it?"
>"...I don't know"
>Eventually I give up and somehow convince the rest of the party to lend me enough money to buy the thing
>I go back and he sells it to me
>"The gun breaks in your hand, it was made of Styrofoam"
>"...what?"
>*laughing* "yeah, it was a prop weapon store, you never bothered to read the sign"
At this point a player who's character wasn't even there got up and walked out. I followed him.

>> No.53284893

>>53284876
Excellent ending. Wish that happened more often.

>> No.53285061

>>53249267
>go to desert city to read ancient books while the elf and human fighter set up a shop.
>three steps in we're given a note by an old man who runs off and gets murdered
>attacked by assassins, we have to figure out how to meet the blind wizard
>fall in with thieves guild to get further in the city, they have us try and disgrace a guard captain.
>find out that he slaughtered an entire apartment building to cover up his torture of a guy.
>instead of me casting speak with dead, being the cleric, we are roped into making a deal with a capital E evil cleric of wee jas.
>Now the fighter will lose her soul in 30 days if we don't find the blind wizard, you know, the guy we were getting rid of the guard captain for so we could get to the district where the meeting is taking place.
>then we get betrayed by someone, get partial amnesia as we're forced into slave pits beneath the city
>no one know how long it's been, fighter doesn't remember what the numbers on her palm mean.
>change from 3.5 to 5
>no motivation to go on anymore
>I just wanted to read books.

>> No.53285127

>>53284876
That ending shows you have more common sense then most people here (me included)

>> No.53285237

What's the opposite of a that dm?

>> No.53285257

>>53275035
I hope that you left that group after this shit.

>> No.53285261

>>53285237
Someone who isn't DMing my games

>> No.53285288

>>53285237
A great GM?

>> No.53285295

>>53253087
To a certain degree, I would say that adds to the experience and shit. Though in the case of "roll nat 1 and you kill yourself", that is complete bullshit.

>>53262591
I was expecting more t b h.

>>53262608
That sounds like a spectacularly deep level of autism.

>>53270056
This is where you should throw extra stuff in mate. If they're expecting frost damage, make it fire instead, and so on.

>> No.53285351

>>53285237
This DM?

>> No.53285500

>>53285237
Me.

>> No.53285667

I had a GM tell me, "no, you don't do that, you do this instead". Same also would run first level characters through published adventures for level 15+ characters and then bitch about how he had to cheat to keep us alive.

he would say he loved a particular game because of how creative it made him feel, and then only run pre-published adventures and get mad if you tried to deviate from what the adventure said would happen.

>> No.53286390

>>53277614
bait

>> No.53286472

Anyone here ever had a killer DM? One who went out of his way to wipe the party?

>> No.53286538

>>53286472
I did once, but it was only because he wanted us to meet the god of Chaos who gave us a deal and sent us back, so I don't know if it counts.

>> No.53286725

>>53259375
>Almost immediately following that a particularly androgynous PC was kidnapped by a Chad prince of the country to be royal boipussy
My fetish.

>> No.53286964

>>53277614
I pulled this as a DM recently, because I'm an Aussie running a game for yanks. The game starts at 8am for me and these fuckers keep showing up an hour early asking for early starts.

>> No.53287066

>>53286964
Have you tried, oh I don't know, talking with your players about this?

>> No.53287124

My first CoC adventure was with a spineless GM who let the players play the game like it was a really retarded DnD session. I'm not even talking Pulp Cthulhu, just pure idiocy.

We began the story with a lead. An old harmless women to ask questions to.

That's as far as we went. One guy knocked her out, another tied her up, another was looking in her house for loot (even slashing up her couch cushions and shit).

I tried to get them back on track, but the GM was kay with what they were doing.

They tortured her (she didn't know nothing), shot her dead and stayed in the house looking for secret doors (wtf??). The cops showed up. They (we) had to fight them because after you chuck a grenade at them, the cops are not really in the mood to listen to you. SWAT showed up next. The PC exploded a toilet with another grenade (I don't even remember why) and then we all did a suicide by cops.

The other players said it was the best game they ever played.

I have no face. The GM was on the verge of crying, but too much of a pussy to say anything.

>> No.53287153

>>53286472
I had a GM that answered the phone mid-session, had an hour-long fight with his girlfriend, and then return to the table and TPK the party with grim-faced efficiency.

Fuck that guy and his girlfriend.

>> No.53287198

>>53286472
Not as a dick move, but as an experiment. We played Temple of Elemental Evil with 1st level characters and the DM being strict with the rules.

It was basically to see how many cool deaths we could have.

>> No.53287218

>>53285237
Shoggys Gm

>> No.53287224

>>53287198
And you guys were cool with that?

>> No.53287274

Not bad per se, but one of my GM ran a James Bond adventure (3 players) and would railroad the fuck out of us, but in a good way. We only realized it was railroading after the adventure was over. If we didn't get info, we would get attacked (if we won, reinforcement would arrive or we would get attacked again later) until we were kidnaped and taken to a place were the bad guy (or henchmen) would reveal some bit of info before leaving us to die in a Batman-esque escapable trap.

Railroady as fuck, but very James Bond.

>> No.53287293

>>53287224
That was the whole point of that adventure for us. It only lasted 2 sessions anyway.

>> No.53287510

>>53286538
did the halfling assassin do it?

>> No.53287618

>>53287153
Is there a story to this, or was that it?

>> No.53287619

>>53270427
>allowing the blood of caine to become stronger with anything but diablerie
????

>> No.53287671

>>53287618
The details aren't especially important, other than it was a long running game so the TPK kinda sucked, especially since he seemed to do it because he was in a pissy mood after the fight.

>> No.53287672

>>53249267
Well, he sent us on a nonsensical railroad adventure full of Illithids with cannons and dragooned us into attacking our own side out of fear of being eaten by our cannibal DMPC "ally" who greeted us with a statement about how he "fellates the giver", whatever the hell that means. We managed to "lose" the campaign because we didn't look through a burning city patrolled by overwhelming numbers of Illithid troops for a quartet of wands that we didn't even know existed and the first of which we stumbled across couldn't be made to do anything useful.

That would be enough of a shitshow, but I found out later that he copied the entire thing, from a guy who made it as an intentionally bad meta-adventure and a test to see how much crap a particular online community would put up with before they would stop downloading his adventures.

>> No.53287726

>Game advertised as 'suicide squad type game' - bad guys being used for the greater good
>I've got some time free, why not
>Game turns out to be pathfinder
>Play LE alchemist out to resurrect her dead husband, no matter the cost.
>Turns out I'm the only evil character
>Start locked up, fair enough, we're the bad guys
>Get transported to the outside of some city
>Voice in our heads tells us to do some good or unspecific bad things will happen
>No specific good goal given
>I guess we'll just wander around until the plot turns up then?
>Eventually end up finding some monks with a problem
>A monastery outside of town has broken contact with them
>People nearby say it's haunted
>Go to monastery
>Traps. Traps everywhere.
>Every room is 'I roll a perception check' 'There's a trap' 'I disarm the trap'
>Turns out it wasn't haunted
>It was just full of traps
>The GM genuinely thought that a dungeon of nothing but basic traps (dart throwers, tripwires, pit traps etc) would be more interesting than some spooky ghost hunting.
>"What happened to the monks then?"
>"They all died to their own traps"
>Made my excuses, didn't come back.

The entire thing was badly paced, dialogue was awkward, the other players did next to nothing to advance the plot and the DM had a weird obsession of giving everyone pets.

>> No.53288173

>play Vampire game with anonymous online people, most of whom were fairly new to tabletop rpgs
>GM has a boyfriend in the game
>GM and boyfriend are full edgy
>GM twists rules all the time to favor boyfriend
>boyfriend gains broken companions that one-shot everything and hate all the other PCs for no reason
>forced ERP scenes

>>53269984
We must have had the same GM.

>> No.53288191

>>53287510
No, there was a mid-high level wizard when we were still at first level. He fireballed us.

>> No.53288221

>>53287671

>losing is bad

So, you want assured victory all the time? Boring. Without a failure state there is no sense of tension and hardly a game at all. Granted a DM should never do it to be pissy, but you need to be able to lose. At least that's how I like it. Fuck DMs who fudge rolls to make people survive and protect players from themselves. I want it like a roguelike. One life and game over. Unless there is some kinda resurrection in game.

>> No.53288265

>>53275035
>anonymous complaints

There were no complaints, the DM wanted you to make a shittier character so he could manipulate the party easier.

>> No.53288280

>>53288221
If you're that angry after fighting with your gf and need to take it out on someone, you should maybe just tell us you need a break, man.

>> No.53288283

>>53288221
>Fuck DMs who fudge rolls to make people survive and protect players from themselves.

But then what about the opposite? It sounded like it was the opposite case here.

>> No.53288315

>>53288283

Well, I did say the DM shouldn't do it just to be a dick either. But I see a lot more DMs trying to prevent player failure than ones that go out of their way to kill players.

>> No.53288478

>>53288283
If a GM wants you dead, they don't even need to mess with the dice. They can just drown you in perfectly legit bad guys.

>> No.53288586

>>53288221
The best victories are the ones you get through by the skin of your teeth, so I could understand why a GM would want to fudge a roll here or there so half the party doesn't just outright die due to a couple bad rolls. It adds to the players' entertainment, as long as the players don't actually know the rolls are being fudged.

>> No.53288596

>>53262396
On 1 I usually just make them take another roll to see what happens and even with that other roll the worst that can happen is losing next turns action or breaking a weapon.

>> No.53289027

>>53262608
>>you want to do that how about you DM.
>>DM'ed for next 3 Years.
I love happy endings.

>>53275035
At this point, you gotta confront the group and ask the mysterious dumbfuck to actually speak up. If he's got an issue with your PCs, he needs to talk to you so you can work things out and not repeat the mistake. Why are they commenting anonymously? Are they afraid you'll throw a tantrum?
If no one speaks up, you've got a That Guy. It might be your GM, but if it isn't, your GM is enabling him. Leave. With enabler GMs, it can only get worse, and it will.

>> No.53289195

>>53274922
>that filename
kek

>> No.53289330

>>53287672
Wasn't giver.jpg a picture of giant dick on goatse.cx?

>> No.53289499
File: 81 KB, 595x418, Barrage.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53289499

>>53287726
>>"What happened to the monks then?"
>>"They all died to their own traps"

>> No.53289587

>>53288596
The last time someone flubbed a roll I just had it go wrong in comical fashion. There was no damage but the thug was scared shitless as a sword flew past their head and into the wall. Thug said fuck it and bailed and I'll probably set her up to be a recurring enemy that's the target of misfortune thanks to the players.

>> No.53289901

>>53284230
The fuck

>> No.53290075
File: 52 KB, 537x509, 1490535041967.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53290075

>>53287726
>they died to their own traps
But really, in the hands of a competent dm that would be a very funny revelation

>> No.53290157

>>53287726
Wait, if they died to their own traps who the fuck reset them?

>> No.53290230

>>53290157
The Ghosts.

>> No.53290248

>>53290075
>"Brother Spikes, has the final trap been set?"
>"Yes Brother Beartrap, at last, our decade-long dream of constructing the ultimate trap temple has been realized."
>"Trapmonks for miles around will come to our temple to test their mettle, and learn the sacred art of trap-crafting."
>"Now Brother Beartrap, lut us use the map so we might find our way out."
>"I though you had the map Brother Spike?"
>"It matters not, you know the safe path to the entrance yes?"
>"Uh...."

>> No.53290428
File: 401 KB, 128x330, 1473790618141.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53290428

>>53290230
Kek

>> No.53290527

>>53287672
Hahaha, holy shit. Link to the original?

>>53250408
>>53267927
Dude your greentext is unreadable. You've shoehorned a meme into every second sentence, it makes you look 13.
And you know you can go back and rewrite your post as soon as you remember something, right?

I'll agree though, you had a shit DM. I would have left the moment he pulled the Nat 1 shit.

>> No.53290953

>>53249267
Prepare yourself for the best Mage The Awakening campain I ever played.
>One guy from my group said that he found on roll20 a guy that wanted to try out MtAw.
>I Ask if I can join him because I always wanted to try the game out. The GM accepts.
>Let's call the GM Mr Lentil.
>I can already see from his face that this game will be glorious.
>I start reading really fast the manual to have a better grasp of the system.
>It's time
>Everyone is creating his character
>I create a guy that is like into Time and Space arcanas,
>Another guy is basically a Bandit Keith from Yugioh that has an obsession with fitness and healthy food.
>The player I know created an asshole character inspired from Constantine.
>my character basically doesn't know anything of his origin because he just randomly travels from one time period to the other, sometimes he stays for years in one place, other times like 2 seconds.
>Being overwhelmed by all this experiences he doesn't know anything if not his name Aldericus Wolfgang Smith, and his age, 32.
>I made this absurd concept for a starting character to see how the master would react
>He just says, ok, write "Time Traveler" as a concept in the sheet.
>We need to lose time deciding why we wanted to create a cabal and why we are together.
>To make the Bandit Keith guy I just made my character obese, so he just travels with me to make me lose weight
>We can finally start, we are in Boston (Lentil has EVERY single manual from Mage, I cry thinking about all those poor manuals)
>One guy from another Cabal (The Dead Pigeons) wants to give us one quest
>I already cringe inside, because WoD isn't fucking DnD it's not about doing quests, and because he laughed in a weird way when he said the cabal name
>He will give us a shitton of stuff worth a lot of money if we can just kill one mystical spirit/creature, like a chinese minotaur, called Shiki or something like that, I cannot remember.
Continues.

>> No.53291187

>>53290953
>He tells us that he is hiding at the port, and to be aware that the place is full of chinese people. (Ok, I guess?)
>I find some kind of sword, I say that jokinly that it sounds familiar, Bandit Keith says "does it have your initials on it? Ahah"
>Lentil stays silent, he seems to agree to this..?
>We travel around the port, we can finally see him, we prepare to fight with all of our shit, because the guy seems tought
The spirit minotaur just says "NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN!" and runs away.
>We cannot really do much to stop him, he just disappear.
>We try to search for him again
>The GM make us notice a old man walking out of the port, and soon he will just mix with the crowd
>We ask him to describe this guy
>He says a legendary phrase that we repeat even today in my current group.
>"He has a white beard and a hat, he is wearing a jacket, in short he is like a TYPICAL BOSTON COUNTRYMAN"
>We stay silent for a second, our brains trying to rationalize what he meant with that.
>We cannot do anything, the old man just runs away and we cannot do anything to stop him, we cannot track him or rewind time or divine his position
>We stay there, trying to think about what to do for like 5 minutes
>In the end we don't really know what to do
>Before we start derailing the story the Lentil just said "Ok, let's finish this for today, let's stay in touch and decide the next appointment these days, ok?
>We never heard from him again, nobody had the courage to say anything in the Skype Group chat, so it just went into oblivion.
>Even today we think, what is the typical boston countryman doing right now? Is he safe?
We will never know.

>> No.53291227
File: 188 KB, 1422x1152, nyan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53291227

>>53290248

>> No.53291360

>>Rogue Trader
>>GM totally on board with my biomagos, flexible in character creation
>>Cool ship with an archeotech gun that shoots forests
>>Go down to some planet to investigate the odd radio transmissions, discover an underground base filled with huge failed spess merine applicants who were allowed to live but mutated over the centuries.
>>High speed chase back to base as we go for reinforcements; eventually we return and gas the compound, then investigate for more loot. Find some good shit, claim the planet as ours.

>>GM disappears and never comes back.
Super bummed, tried reaching out on roll20 a year later and no response.

>> No.53291653

>>53259051
Why do gms like this try to run games? Just write a fucking book if you're going to rail road this hard

>> No.53291897

>>53291187
He probably went back to Boston.

>> No.53292005
File: 16 KB, 250x250, 1494800142788.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
53292005

>>53270427
>dat promising premise utterly shattered by the 2nd game

>> No.53292084

>>53270427
wow

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