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[ERROR] No.53092770 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

How do gay dwarves express their gayness? Do male dorfs trade axes or mine together or some shit? Does one smith on the opposite's anvil?

>> No.53092781

>>53092770
They braid each other's beards

>> No.53092792

>>53092781
They make elaborate beard shapes so when they kiss, their beards interlock.

>> No.53092796

>>53092770
Bumsex

>> No.53092833

>>53092792
Drawfag, quick

>> No.53092852

>>53092770
They shit in each other's mouth and then they fuck inside a barrel rolling down a hill.

>> No.53092861

>>53092852
No that's humans.

>> No.53092868

>>53092770
They join a holy order, supressing all their foul impulses and replacing it with duty.

>> No.53092882

Dwarves don't get that particular mental illness.

>> No.53092952

>>53092882
>wanting to spend the rest of your life with a woman

we both know who's truly ill here.

>> No.53092986

>>53092770
Depends on the setting. But generally speaking, they make threads just like this one on the 4chan equivalent of their setting.

>> No.53093023

Now I want to homebrew up some masculine hermaphroditic dwarves based on the Prose Edda describing dwarves as maggots that infested the bones of the dead primordial giant Ymir, who were given reason by the Gods.

Dwarves are some kind of weird slug-mammal cave ape troglodyte species. The "parents" first kill some cave beast, throw the carcass in a shallow pool, and they then throw some eggs and seed in the water. After a while, hundreds of dwarven tadpoles emerge and they start chewing on the carcass. When the carcass is picked clean, they start eating each other. After a few weeks, the dwarves will grow some sort of awareness and stop eating each other - typically around the time only one up to four baby dwarves survive. Those baby dwarves are then taken by the parents from the pool and spend about two years as babbling little shits eating fermented meat sludge until they get their teeth and can chew solid foods.

>dwarf, babies do not eat rotten meat! that baby needs the milk of a mother!
>what sick *father-mother* gives their baby milk? milk is for cattle! babies need meat! soft meat!

>> No.53093029

>>53092770
I gusess the same way of all other races, but probably much less show-off.
I always imagined dwarf giving little care about one's sexuality, as long as he is an upstanding and honest member of their society.
Sex is probably something they do only when they have free time, which is seldom, and I guess even gay dwarves would accept to have sex with females in for the purpose of procreation, if it's their duty to do it

>> No.53093039

>>53093023

I want you to homebrew cyanide and kill yourself

>> No.53093048

>>53092770
>How do gay dwarves express their gayness?
They get stoned together.

>> No.53093057

>>53092770
"Gay" dwarves don't exist. Moradin grants easy access to the Cure Disease spell.

>> No.53093060

>>53093039
Quality critique my friend, I can see you're a real connoisseur of Nordic/Germanic mythology!

>> No.53093063

>>53092952
>spend the rest of your life with a woman
>not spending most of said life working/serving in the military/doing other jobs useful for society, returning home only to do your marital duty

>> No.53093084

>>53093060
Different anon here. You're better off not homebrewing at all or ever, and just chugging any bottles you can find beneath your sink.

>> No.53093125

>>53093084
>Different anon here.
>same post

>> No.53093261

>>53092792
>They make elaborate beard shapes so when they kiss, their beards interlock.
Reminds me of Minish Cap.

>> No.53093275

>>53093060
>>53093125
No, really. As a third anon, you really should commit sudoku, but I'll at least give you a reason why.

>Makes completely new homebrew race
>Calls them by "classical" fantasy race name

What you have described aren't Dwarves, you insufferable fuckstick.

>> No.53093286

>>53093275
>No, really. As a third anon, you really should commit sudoku, but I'll at least give you a reason why.
>>Makes completely new homebrew race
>>Calls them by "classical" fantasy race name
>What you have described aren't Dwarves, you insufferable fuckstick.

>being this autistic

Literally who gives a shit? Oh right. You. Also, did it really take you three posts to come up with a critique? Are you fucking retarded?

>> No.53093292

>>53093275
>completely new homebrew race
>guy mentions the prose edda
If he references the goddamn Edda, it's not a new homebrew race faggot.

>> No.53093304

>>53093275
There's literally nothing wrong with doing that.

>> No.53093354

>>53092770
The same way you express your gayness.
Also this >>53092781 because it sounds totally legit.

In the case of straight Dwarves, does the couple braid eachother's beards or is it something each does on their own or even something exclusive to male or female?

Do they see a beard as a male thing and it is the husband's duty to braid his wife's beard, or is it the other way around, a male Dwarf would go around proudly showing his braided beard done by his wife?

>> No.53093359

>>53092770
What carnal acts are frowned upon? Answering this answers another question in the existence of a Dwarf counter-culture? And answering this question leads back to the initial one. All subcultures that deviate from the norm seek to isolate themselves with certain markers for rebellion. So ask what these markers are? Like a subculture of shaved beards denoting rebellion toward established cultural adherents for an obvious example. Or perhaps if you're one to allocate Dwarves into castes and houses, a counter culture surrounding a rejection of that through ritual tattoos or the removal clan markers.

>> No.53093542

>>53092770
They do gay things like wear gemstones mined and cut for female dwarves.

>> No.53093575

>>53092770
Congregate in smelting pits they turned into discotheques.

>> No.53093578

They wander into the Deep Roads, and seek death fighting the Darkspawn to wipe out their shame.

>> No.53093600

>>53093354
They try out a new style every day to surprise their partner. During anniversaries you use a similar style to the one you had when you first met

This is why dwarves are so upset about losing their beards. It's their way of showing love.

>> No.53093831

>>53093600
This is quite weird but also really cool, I Like it when the setting sets up the Dwarves as their own species of humans with their own traits instead of treating them as just tiny angry people.

>> No.53093962

>>53093023
>Dwarves are some kind of weird slug-mammal cave ape troglodyte species
Different anon here. Have you considered tasting bleach?

>> No.53094129

>>53093962

It's a little over the top, but it has potential.

Notably the parts about 'fermented meat sludge' and eggs.


Imagine a race of small men who in order to reproduce, need a stable source of fermentable material, and who reproduce by ingesting gemstones and gold and other valuable materials, which eventually allow a wealthy dwarf to produce some sort of seed gem or something that goes in the pile, which will then, over the course of some time, become a dwarf.

It gives dwarves an excuse to seek wealth, and also justifies their booziness in that it might be a necessary part of their bodily nutrition.

>> No.53094181

The same way Human gays express their gayness: by being obnoxious and asinine and histrionic little bitches who scream and flail for attention and a sense of uniqueness.

>> No.53094199

>>53093023
I really like this why does everyone hate it? I always thought Dwarves work best when very very removed from humans culturally. Like they obviously have human ideas like Loyalty, Tradition, and maybe even a faith that coincides with human society but all the little details are different.

>> No.53094246

>>53094181
Don't forget the obnoxious attempt to force themselves as the actual normal ones and making up fake words to back it up.

>> No.53094282

>>53092770
If they know what's good for them, they don't.

>> No.53094288

>>53092770
They hammer eachothers asses.

>> No.53094343

>>53092770
As usual, Terry Pratchett did it best. Dwarves are sexually amorphic, so half of dwarf courtship is seeing if the parents can remember what type of genitals their kids were born with. More than a few same-sex dwarven marriages probably occurred, and probably maintained because, well... it was never about kids so much as it was the dowry.

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