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52237930 No.52237930 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>to show his eternal gratitude the King offers one of your party the hand of his daughter, one of the most desired brides in the world, in marriage
>refusing would be an incredible, unimaginable insult to the princess, the King, the Kingdom, and the majority of nobles across various realms who tried and failed in their courtship of her

What would your current party/character do?

>> No.52237958

>show gratitude = handing off his most precious way of acquiring actually useful socio-economic relationships with another kingdom that could strengthen his rule and his offspring's for generations to a mere peasant adventurer that will just indulge himself on his wealth and is unable to rule anything
I would tell the DM he is stupid and quit the session myself.

>> No.52237962

>>52237930
Take her hand. My Fighter Dwarf would be happy to marry up, especially with free access to any armoury implied in the deal.

>> No.52237963
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52237963

>>52237930

>> No.52237965

>>52237930
He would ask she be equiped with the proper martial arms and armour, and then told to gather her most prized belongings and a trusty horse.

What part of muderHOBO didn't you gather?

>> No.52237974

>>52237965


This

And if she can't fight herself, have her polymorphed into a warhorse so she can still pull her weight on your adventures

>> No.52237987

>>52237958
He's tying down a slaughteriffic god of destruction that can kill armies, if you're reasonably high level.

That said, I usually play the weird shit, so I'm not likely to jump on the grenade.

>> No.52237989

>>52237930
I hope she either likes travelling or long distance relationships.

>> No.52237997

Accept because lust for power and probably assassinate the king at some point.

>> No.52237998

>>52237930
My character isn't a lesbian, so she would say no, and wonder why the king offered this to her in the first place.

>> No.52238000

>>52237930
Tell him I'm already married so I must refuse this highest honor, and certainly a man of his respectable status must understand.

(I'm not married)

>> No.52238002

>>52237930
Refuse.

By refusing one of the most beautiful and desired brides in the world, I have publicly stated that even she is not good enough for me.

After escaping the king's guard and death-squads, IMAGINE the quality of tail that'd come for me!

>> No.52238005

>>52237989
>LDR
>not having the court wizard make a paired item allowing back and forth teleportation
>not finishing every day by making a quick stop back over to your wife for a round or two in bed, falling asleep cuddling her and smelling her beautiful scent on top of luxurious bedding, to only pop back to the party well rested and ready for another day's adventuring.

>> No.52238013

>>52237987
Terror can only work for a certain time. If you want to build something, you have to get on people's good side. Otherwise, shit will just end up biting you in the ass at the smallest crack.
If you build useful and productive relationships, you won't have to impose yourself and act like the big bad school bully.
Just keep army ready at all times because it's your right as owner of your territory to defend it, but never be overtly offensive.

>> No.52238017

>>52237958
>Assuming the King only has one child.

>> No.52238022
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52238022

>>52238013
>Otherwise, shit will just end up biting you in the ass at the smallest crack.

>> No.52238028

>>52237930
Murderhobos can reach godlike levels later on from all the killing shit and taking their stuff that they do, the King is basically making his grandkids demigods.

>> No.52238037

>>52238017
Even if he has two or three children, each one of those has potential to become the first step to forge alliances. There aren't only 2 kingdoms in the world (at least I hope) you're playing in.
And even without that fact, what would commoners say about a king that just hands off his daughter to a random adventurer?

The only way I could see that work is if in the party, there's someone of somehow high rank (like an Elven prince or something) that happens to have joined the quest.

>> No.52238045
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52238045

>>52238005
>party are attacked in the night
>they all die while you're making sweet love to your bride

>> No.52238046

>>52238037
>what would commoners say about a king that just hands off his daughter to a random adventurer?

They would think he was a kind upright man who rewards heroic deeds instead of just trying to be political and power hungry. Hell, the whole thing might just be a PR stunt by the king to get the peasants to like him more.

>> No.52238047
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52238047

>>52237930
Raise a flagon to whichever party member gets to marry the Thane's daughter, then dip out before my big ass orange mohawk ruins the mood.

>> No.52238055

What is he or she gonna do if I refuse? Kill me? When I'm the one who just killed the world-destroying with a super duper high powerlevel?

>> No.52238065

>>52238037
The random adventurer could be the strongest man in the world by a wide margin. He could kill the king and make himself the new ruler and there would be nobody who could stop him.

>> No.52238072
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52238072

>>52237974
If you can do polymorph, you can do better than a horse.

>> No.52238075

>>52238037
>5 murderhobos killed kingdom wiping dragon or whatever
>king gives them a meh reward
>they now rampage and cause even more destruction than the dragon would have
The King may not want to take any chances. He can reason and appease the adventurers, so he will because he isn't going to be able to kill them if they think he's being cheap or selfish.

>> No.52238084

>>52237958
It's actually really clever.

If his daughter is really so desired, marrying her to one of the nobles would breed resentment from all the other nobles. But by marrying her off to a great Hero he is deeply "indebted" to he can pretend his hands were tied.

A high-level adventurer can be a useful addition to a Kingdom either way. Maybe he's a powerful mage who can start a royal magic academy to train (war)mages for the kingdom. Maybe he's just fucking strong and can become captain of the guard or join the army.

Don't underestimate the political influence of an adventurer either. There could be many nobles and kingdoms somewhat indebted to him. He could be an excellent ambassador to some elven kingdom of which he previously saved a high priestess. Who knows.

There's tons of other possibilities. Maybe the King suspects the adventurer has a powerful divine blessing. Maybe the King wishes to inject some raw power into his bloodline. Etc.

>> No.52238090

>>52238072

I wouldn't polymorph her into something that can easily murder me in case she doesn't like it. A horse is nice and manageable, and reliable.

>> No.52238100

>>52238037
>>52238046
>>52238065
>>52238075
>>52238084
It could just as easily be a situation where the Princess in question could have done something bad enough to warrant exile, but in a situation where straight up exiling her would create a political snafu among the nobility. So, instead, he rewards her hand to a member of the party for (insert grand heroic deed here; probably involves dragons) knowing that the party (or at the very least the soon to be husband) is capable enough to handle her shenanigans.

>> No.52238118

>>52238046
I think commoners would think highly of this, especially since it won't better their situation. In the end, the people mostly care about how much money they get at the end of each month. Because even if the king gets political, alliances will end up creating better commerce, economy will grow, new trades will be created, people will be able to make more money, new industries will appear and living conditions will improve as well.

>>52238075
He could still give them ranks in the nobility, or hand them jobs that will net them a good amount of wealth, ensuring a comfortable life and even being able to marry noble girls. That way, the whole party will be rightfully rewarded instead of just handing off a sweet reward to one of the guys and pebbles to the rest.

>>52238084
I can see where you're going and I've stated that it wouldn't be a problem IF said guy was to be a highborn man.

>> No.52238125

>>52238118
wouldn't*
Damn, I'm half-awake.

>> No.52238135

>>52237930
>73 year old monk
>monk

Not happening.

Would much rather insult a kingdom than insult God.

>> No.52238141

>>52237930
I assume my group of siblings would have a field day since my character has already been gangpressed into an arranged marrige with a princess. Our political alliances are looking good though my dragonblooded dynast is getting really pissy at his sidereal sister, lunar best friend and his solar mate basically considering his dick to be the only thing he camn contribute to saving the world.

I have money, celestial martial arts and two seperate armies damnit! I am not a sexslave to be sold.

Its a fun campaign.

>> No.52238150

>>52238118
The King gives the Princess to the leader of the adventurers and makes the others nobles. Like what would have happened to Griffith if he didn't fuck everything up for himself.

>> No.52238161

>>52238118
>I think commoners wouldn't think highly of this, especially since it won't better their situation. In the end, the people mostly care about how much money they get at the end of each month. Because even if the king gets political, alliances will end up creating better commerce, economy will grow, new trades will be created, people will be able to make more money, new industries will appear and living conditions will improve as well.

You think wrong. People don't make political desicions with their heads, they make them with their hearts. Especially uneducated people who don't really understand the ins and outs of the system. When they see him marrying his beautiful daughter off to some fat useless idiot who happens to be the son of a rich foreign ruler they'll either see a greedy man who would give his daughter away for gold or not understand it at all. Just the comings and goings of the nobility doing noble stuff. They don't really understand economics or how treaties will benefit them or their kids long term. When he marries his daughter to the gallant hero who stopped the dragon from burning their villages? That's a man with integrity, rewarding truly heroic actions.

>> No.52238167

>>52237930
>What would your current party/character do?
> Celebrate the acquisition of a camp follower
> And HER camp followers because we now have her royal entourage

>> No.52238192

>>52238161
I see what you mean. Still, I do not believe it's a sound action, and commoner filth shouldn't anyway be involved or even hear about political stuff. That shit happens backstage. Perhaps the king could make public speeches about the alliances and how shit will end up being good for the people. I dunno.

>> No.52238244

Lavender Characters: Xenidae is the only one wiht Ritualists, but I'm sure all could manage to bring the Lavender Cult to the kingdom. (Maybe not Goobride; then again, why is she offered the princess hand?)

Other CYOA characters I have on hand are mostly either from the Evil CYOA, Succubus (No John, you are the Demons) or Gifted. The later is a really bad idea, since they are all usperpowered murderhobos of some form; the Succubi probably tricked the King somehow and just get to breeding and taking women from throughout the capital or royal court; and the Demons tricked the King somehow. None of them would refuse.

That said, My ERP character Xenidae would accept.

>> No.52238275

>>52238002
or maybe they'll think you're gay

>> No.52238323

>>52237930
Man my current party is a group of epic adventures who has saved the world several time at this point.

And I already know the response my wizard would have. "Yeah sorry, no one is currently in the position to accept her as a wife. Your welcome anyways." And then would promptly teleport the party away.

>> No.52238342

>>52238005
>>52238045
Would the party be pissed or understanding?

>> No.52238353

>>52237930
Survey the tracts of land first

>> No.52238375

>>52237930
>Some shitiot career politician whose only talent is not getting murdered by his subordinates thinks I still have to take orders from him after I''ve already proven myself more competent than his entire country of dirt-farming illiterates put together.

If I wanted the stupid princess I'd have already taken her, you crown-wearing faggot.

>> No.52238383

Shit like this is why I stopped getting involved with royalty, their egos are so fragile it's a wonder they don't shatter from the stress of running a country.

>> No.52238476

Wonder why he thinks marriage to NE hobgoblin pirate is a smart move

>> No.52238597

>>52238375
>assuming that because the King is an NPC, that he HAS to be lower level than you.
>Implying he wouldn't have gone to BTFO the threat himself if he hadn't needed to personally make sure that the kingdom didn't burn down when his back was turned.
>Implying his advisors aren't his former adventuring party.

It's like you don't into OD&D and AD&D.

>> No.52238639

>>52238597
If he were a former adventurer he'd know what sort of position he's putting me in and be less of a touchy little bitch about it. This inbred motherfucker got that cushy throne through inheritance and I don't want his genes mucking up my line.

>> No.52238682

>>52237930
>Be Paladin
>King marries you to his daughter
>Through numerous events later you find out the princess is adopted, is a daughter of Iggwilv, and a horrible necromancer, the king was under control and him marrying you to her was his last act of freewill under his geassed cursed limitations
>But you've got to fuck her soon, and you're sure she's going to use your holy seed in some kind of awful blood ritual
>But you can't smite, you're being drowned in belligerent politics, and time-consuming social activities that hamper you from doing your sacred duty

Wife is Necromancer witch-queen spawn, wat do?

>> No.52238709
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52238709

>>52237930
My current character is going to accept delighted.

And then plan to murder all of the kings sons so his new wife will inherit the throne. In the meantime, he is going to use his newfound power as the son in law of the king to become the greatest general of the kingdom. All so he can eventually overthrow his wife and take all the titles and lands for himself.

>> No.52238728

>>52238597
>Playing D&D

>> No.52238739

>>52238682
>>But you can't smite
There is never a situation where you can't Smite the evil, only ones where you're too cowardly to do so.

Remember that you answer to a higher authority. Politics are nothing. Smite, and be rewarded in the afterlife for your sacrifice.

>> No.52238741

>>52237930

...I'm playing a Wookiee. I can think of some problems with this arrangement.

>> No.52238893

My half orc ranger would accept cautiously, she's a little shy.
My dwarf cleric would consider if her deity would mind, but would probably accept

>> No.52238932

>>52238047
t. Good dawi

>> No.52238938

>>52237930

Well, why not marry her? She's fucking rich!

Wait, one important question: Is she attractive?

>> No.52238941

>>52237989
I dunno man, my games usually have time jumps between them. We start a new quest with the DM telling us how much time it's been since the end of the last adventure and asking us what our characters have been doing. As a result, a bunch of our characters have families and businesses and shit.

>> No.52238976

>>52237930
Asking the King if he is serious with that. I mean, not that I am complaining, but in my party the canidates would be
a) the arrogant androgynous semi-shota noble,
b) the barbaric dwarfen smith with tourette syndrome,
c) the nihilistic firn elf witch, that steals constantly
d) the lazy ranger that is constantly annoyed from everyone and everything
Not that anyone in the group wouln't like to get power, but at that point is as a player would ask our DM, if the king like his daugther at all.

>> No.52238994

How pattable is the princess?

How endearingly haughty?

>> No.52239131
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52239131

>>52237930
>What would your current party/character do?
My cleric whom I roleplay as a paladin and who through a lack of character building basically became an idealized version of myself would refuse, insults be damned. The realm is saved, good has persevered and the feelings of some spoiled brat won't change this. Yes, I'm autistic.

>>52237958
Is Eugenics a thing in this setting? If so, I can imagine the advantage of the royal line being mixed with the blood of some super adventurer who can creat lightning and summon demons and shit. That might be more valuable than a few more square kilometers of land.

>> No.52239244

pfft no way fag

>> No.52239336

>>52239244
Draw porn already, Plague

>> No.52239367

>>52237930
Even if the party for whatever reason said no, both the Cleric and Warlock would say yes, despite being women themselves and would probably strong-arm the Ranger into being the husband.
The Warlock has basically set herself up as Troll Moses, originally to gather a quick army and has come to truly care about her loyal, offish legions.
Meanwhile our base of operations out in the wilds has gathered a fair few followers, ex-bandits, homeless and the ilk, that we now have something like a shanty town city-state which our Cleric has made her mission to build into an actual town or even city.
Having a Princess and Prince-Consort with us would lend actual legitimacy towards our goals.
To keep the Princess safe we could petition for a troop of foot soldiers or guards who could then help keep the peace in our town and help ween us from our relikance on expensive mercenaries and paying off active bandits.
This would also give us legal cover to bring the Trolls together from across the lands and migrate into the unoccupied mountains and caves behind our now shanty principality.

Of course, such ease of fulfilling our long term goals is precisely why the DM would never allow this.
We must continue to elk out our meager scraps and pray our DM hasn't decided to suddenly pull 'rocks falls, everyone you ever loved or cared for dies'.

>> No.52239368

>>52237930
>ACCEPTING GRATITUDE IS MANDATORY
What is this, 1984? Unless the offer is public, I don't have to shit, and even then I can refuse, albeit in oblique form.

>> No.52239402
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52239402

>Get to marry a hot girl, retire from shitty dangerous adventuring, escape from his cunt party and provide protection from his military general father who may or may not be out to kill him

Definitely take the marriage

>> No.52239411

>>52239336
no

>> No.52239440

>>52237930
The princess is our boss.
And we personally don't get along with her parents at all.
In fact the Princess being our boss is the entire reason we haven't been brainwashed into 'loyal' servants yet.

Wow, there is something going on behind the scenes and I don't think I like it.

>> No.52239457

>>52237958
>Implying that Player Characters are not the single best investment around.

>> No.52239642

>>52237930
My human Paladin is 58, married and has grown sons. The rest of the party are female or inhuman monsters or both fucking Ryan.

We're probably a ways away from ending this war, however, so while I'd marry off a son today (probably the one that joined the order I founded, he's the most well adjusted, personally powerful, and strong willed), I suppose that the GM might kill off my wife in the interim.

>> No.52239701

>>52237930
My current party would all look to me, the paladin, for the decision, since they are a bunch of dicks that I have to keep in line. Politely.

What my character would do is graciously accept, but the king needs to realise that my character's first loyalty must be to the goddess he swore to serve. Plus said goddess already banged him, as long as the princess is all right with that.

>> No.52239715

>>52238192
Do you even Medieval Politics?

While they were united under the banner of the King, the nobility typically held most of the cards in their hands when it came time to deal due to their members making up the bulk of the Kingdom's military forces. Power only truly began to become centralized under the Kings when they were able to sway the unwashed masses and bring them to their side. By "championing" the people, the king could build himself a solid base of power to keep the nobility in check. And we see this reflected in modern times - where Kings and Queens were able to do such a consolidation of power, they're still around as figureheads and cultural icons, rather than violently deposed in the transition to a liberal democratic system.

So, by marrying one of his daughters to a man the people love, the King consolidates his traditional power base, and helps to ensure the survival of his line centuries down the road.

>> No.52239718

>>52237930

I am the party sorcerer. I do the talking and the fucking, not the taking of responsibility after the fucking. Let the barbarian deal with it.

>> No.52239838

Let's go down the list of the party:

Paladin: swore a sacred oath to never marry.
Cleric: married to the party bard.
Barbarian: has a shielddwarven wife already, his clan's marriages are for life.
Rogue: married to the daughter of a very wealthy merchant, has three children.
Bard: married to the party cleric.

This is gonna be awkward. Like, the barbarian is probably the best option here, but that's just a question of distance, and in this setting polygamy is emphatically NOT a thing.

>> No.52239852

I play a woman
In historical 16th century Spain

Not gonna happen

>> No.52240070
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52240070

>>52238090
>I wouldn't polymorph her into something that can easily murder me in case she doesn't like it.
>A horse is nice and manageable

>> No.52240099

>>52239838
>Bard
>Married to the Cleric
>Cleric
>Married to the Bard

Your party is very different from mine.

>> No.52240125

>>52240099
The cleric worships the god of music and entertainment, who also looks like David Bowie. The bard is a fervent follower of said god. It was a match made in heaven. Well. A match made in Elysium, would be more accurate.

>> No.52240143

>>52238013
>Just keep army ready at all times because it's your right as owner of your territory to defend it, but never be overtly offensive.
>Rights
I'm a king, you retard. I have the right to whatever I say.

>never be overtly offensive.
How do you think we got this land in the first place?

Imposing your values on medieval societies and being an AnCap - two flavours of retardation that really don't go well together.

>> No.52240157

>>52238028
Are you implying that experience is genetic?

>> No.52240221
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52240221

>>52237930
If anyone is going to get married, they'll have to talk to the Inquisitor who controls the party. Then while they're trying to cut through the mountains of red tape it takes to get hold of an Inquisitor, use inquisitorial authorisations/flamers to gtfo a planet that is apparantly ruled by a man insane enough to want to marry his daughter to a group of blood-soaked sororitas, stormtroopers, hive scum and death cultists.

>> No.52240286

>>52237958
>marrying your daughter off to an immensely powerful warrior capable of slaying interplanar demons and has the adoration and love of the entire kingdom as well as no current political ties or alliances is a bad move

nice try anon

>> No.52240332

Let's see. Party reaction in both games where this scenario fits would probably be "meh" or "okay."

One guy in one party is from a noble house fallen on hard times, so he'd probably be quite happy by such an arrangement. The other guy is a halfling bard, so probably no need to say more. My character is an investigator, and also female. She'd probably decline for obvious reasons if the offer were made directly to her. Not that marriage would stop the consulting detective business.

In the other party, I can see the elf wizard overthinking it and saying we shouldn't accept because reasons, but then we should because other reasons and he'll keep debating it, mostly with himself, long after everyone else stopped caring. My character fancies herself to be a dragon, so she'd be happy to have a princess all to herself. There would possibly be a bit of "but we're both girls", not that it'd stop her, but it would be pointed out as odd.

>> No.52240394

>>52240286
>an immensely powerful warrior capable of slaying interplanar demons
that sounds an awful lot like shitty D&D-style high fantasy, anon

>> No.52240600

>>52238938

If she's rich, you can fix unattractive.

>> No.52240670

>>52237958
>implying that in a D&D world the ability to beat a dragon to death with a tea cozy wouldn't be considered highly important to any noble

If we're talking about fantasy RPGs, all nobles are either high level adventurers or get married off to high level adventurers, nobles that spend time on foppish and sedentary nonsense get killed super hard by those that trained in sorcery or swordery.

>> No.52240787

>>52238342
>rogue keeps rolling in downtime
>turns out he's stealing the item and fucking your wife

>> No.52240971

>>52238739

By what if smiting is part of the ritual as a sacrifice to the death God? The ritual requires the user's daughter as a sacrifice to be slain by her righteous husband.

>> No.52241022

>>52237930
>paladin out to establish a name and legacy for himself
If the job is done, marry her and retire. More good can be done funding the next generation than I could do myself.

>> No.52241839

Graciously accept and crank the charm up to 11.
"I know giving your hand to a minor knight can't have been your first choice. I hope in time that this can grow to be more than an arranged marriage between two complete strangers. That one day you might bla bla bla true love, bla bla bla wait till you're ready, bla bla bla chivalry and stuff." All the while I'm imagining how sweet it'll be to sit on that throne and all the changes I'm going to make when it's mine. From the son of an ex mercinary turned woodworker and a kitsune witch to a motherfucking king. Not a bad run in life. Even more so seeing as age will never kill me so this country is gonna have to deal with me in one guise or another for a very, very long time. (Mythic tier immortality and literally all the kitsune feats.)

>> No.52242050

>>52237962
Take her hand. My CN necro will use it to create a hand of glory with which to raise an ancient evil from the dead.

>> No.52242103
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52242103

>>52241839
And my other character would be the total flip of that. A big, nasty half-vamp flind gnoll. with his 4 int and 30 str it'd pretty much be the party's full time job to make sure the idiot murder dog didn't hurt the princess and get them all marked for death... again.

"No donk you can't mate with the princess, remember what happened to that little wood elf that got slipped the love potion?"
"She make donk feel good!"
"And almost died! Seriously, even magic couldn't fix what you did to her... lady parts."
*hyena laughter*

>> No.52243337

>>52237930

She'd think about the ramifications of this event, try to figure out a solution to defuse it without much hubbub, maybe contemplate throwing the party's Dio-knockoff at it, reason that neither Di0 or Jokke Joukahainen really work for this and take the plunge herself.

And then, in private, try to either get the marriage called off or desperately find info about this king so they don't accidently change the past when princess inevitably follows them back into the future.

>> No.52244585

>>52237930
Well my current character is going to outlive her by generations so that's a bit of an issue.

>> No.52244631
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52244631

>>52237958
Maybe he's got a lot of daughters, man.

>> No.52244682

>>52238709
ambitious kek

>> No.52244816

>>52240670
It's like I've always said.

Whether it be caving in a robbers skull with a throwing axe, and explaining why to the cops later, or defending your throne from a magically empowered adventurer it all boils down to the same thing. If you're not strong or smart enough to be able to protect your shit, you didn't deserve to have it in the first place.

>> No.52244920

>>52237958
It's never specified what the party/character actually did. Maybe he literally saved the kingdom from becoming a blighted wasteland that would never recover, or killed an entire invading army single handedly.

Don't be a prick.

>> No.52244984

>crippled shadowrun orc

Okay firstly, who the fuck still has a monarchy

Secondly, where the fuck are my credsticks

>> No.52245037

>>52238090
And sexy, don't forget sexy.

>> No.52245120

>>52237930
B-But i'm a girl.

>> No.52245993

>>52245120
What could be better than that?

>be a girl
>marry the princess
>neither of you care if the other has affairs on the side
>live with her in the palace enjoying the boundless wealth of royalty while fugging the most handsome knights in the realm

>> No.52246177

>>52237958
Thats exactly why it's such a huge gift you massive fucking retard.

>> No.52246615

>>52237930
My character is already engaged to be married, and the Goddess of Justice will not tolerate infidelity amongst her holy host. He must decline and weather the storm that follows for the sake of his beloved and his immortal soul.

>> No.52246741

I am too ugly, boring and lonely for marriage.

>> No.52246748

>>52238005
Fuck, this sounds really cute. I want to get one of these for my married characters.

>> No.52247102

>>52237930
Current party:
>Two weird old people.
>Two paladins.
>A monk.
>And a chaotic stupid blaster caster.

Her options don't sound so good.

>> No.52247924 [DELETED] 

>>52237930
Well this doesn't make sense in alot of ways because my current character is [Spoiler]fourteen years old

>> No.52247941

>>52237930 (OP) #
Well this doesn't make sense in alot of ways because my current character is fourteen years old

>> No.52248037

>>52237930
>>Marry her
>>Her family is actually in massive debt, this fact is hidden from you until after the marriage is legally finalized, the King was hoping to use your massive wealth as an adventurer to avoid bankrupting the kingdom, or will be angry enough to confront the creditors yourself and force them to back down

Remember kids, always have a third party investigate a potential spouse''s finance's first.

>> No.52248065

>>52247941
Have you never heard of a betrothal before? Your age would be the last thing that matters.

>> No.52248536

>>52237930

He's a sellsword who became a sellsword so he could test his blade against the biggest and baddest motherfuckers out there. A princess ties him down, keeps him from testing his blade and cutting his way into immortality.

So he is like, the worst candidate. I mean, he'll definitely knock her up but there's no way he's staying after that.

>> No.52248539

>>52237930
At first, I thought: Why would a king marry his daughter to a magical girl.
But then I imagined that marriage as one of the ways of solving the plot. Were I to do it, the players would forever banish me from the seat of the GM.
Worth it, tho.

>> No.52248632
File: 1.53 MB, 2310x1563, Pietro_Pajetta_-_Der_Hass_-_1896.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52248632

>>52248037
So you're in one party. The third party you hired is going to investigate the princess' finances.

What will the second party do? Who are these guys?

>> No.52248694
File: 1.05 MB, 2560x1087, 1434617285793.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52248694

>>52247941
>>52248065
Ideally, in the 10th-15th centuries, betrothal should involve parties at least able to speak. I vaguely remember an anecdote about a lord who offered his daughter in marriage when she was 1, stating that he "would speak on her behalf". God, it is said, cursed him, and his daughter remained mute her entire life.

At 14, you could lead an army, own a castle, and own several children.

>> No.52248909

>>52247941
>14
Reminder that Alexander the Great was helping his dad conquer Greece at sixteen.

>> No.52249042

>>52237930
Sure, why not? Royal ties, a bot wife, and probably one MONSTER of a dowry, why would I refuse. I'll be out on campaign with her back at the villa 90% of the time anyway so we can both just do whatever we want.

Win/win all around.

>> No.52249063

>>52249042
Meant to say "hot wife" but my phone keyboard messed it up.....or has grown self-aware and interjected with its own opinion on the matter....

>> No.52249527

>>52248909
Yeah but did he have to deal with high school.

>> No.52250805

>>52249527
No, just never achieving his true dream and dying out of battle to something lame like poison or a disease...

>> No.52252779

>>52237930
My party consists of 3 females and one warforged.

>> No.52252845

For her own safety my character would have to refuse. His mother would probably kill her if they got together.

That said, my character is basically a hermit so it's doubtful word would even get out about the whole situation and if it did, well people would probably understand that it wasn't meant to be.

>> No.52252871

>>52237930
Is this the same Princess we kidnapped previously to keep the kingdom from sending in the guard to kill us?

What is she, Stockholm Syndrome Postergirl?

Well she was getting on rather well with the Sorceress before we ransomed her back. Maybe the Princess plans to become her apprentice.

>> No.52252938
File: 301 KB, 1920x1733, arteslav-122-2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52252938

>>52237930
>playing a warrior princess
>probably IS the hand being offered

Well, damn.

>> No.52253094
File: 6 KB, 150x140, 1487460062674.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52253094

>>52252938
>The warrior princess insists that her younger sister marries the great heroes
>She succeeds to convince her father to let her marry the young duke who happens to be the king's most powerful vassal
>He's the last living member of a once powerful house
>He's also 9 years old

>> No.52253249

>>52237930
My hermaphroditic feathered dragon (totally not a visual ripoff of Ojutai from MtG's Dragons of Tarkir) would be more than pleased with this bargain. She could use some company whenever she returns to her lair at the East Pillar, where all magic - including the sun - is born.

>> No.52253310

>>52252938
So she's marrying herself?

>> No.52253440

My current character is a chaotic neutral playboy sorcerer. Chances are he would accept, go through the motions, give that princess the night of her life and talk her into coming on wild adventures with him. If she declines he'd bail after a week and probably get a bounty on his head or something.

>> No.52253758

>>52237930
Depends. If I have the gold already that is supposed to be the thing that motivated me in the first place, I turn and walk away. Without a word. If she follows my wandering LE monk on his travels, I'll keep her, train her, and turn her into an asskicking bitch. If she doesn't follow, no real loss.

If I don't have the money that motivated me to actually do whatever I did to gets king's gratitude, I ask about the money until I have it. Then go back to the above.

>> No.52253768

>>52253094
>Younger sister
>Not keeping the shota for herself

>> No.52253806

>>52237930
>his daughter hates you
>you must either earn the King's scorn or enter a loveless marriage with a woman who sees you as pathetic and intolerable
Now there's a pickle.

>> No.52253845
File: 1.48 MB, 1600x900, 1428511386637.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52253845

>>52237930
Sure, send her to my mansion. My other wives will see to her.

>> No.52253968

>>52237930
>Shadow Monk
>Sleeps with any halfway decent chick

Yeah it's not the worst situation that dick has gotten the party into, atleast the devil thing worked out better than expected. So he'd be down for it

>> No.52254065

>>52237930
I really question the King's judgement if he is trying to marry his daughter to a seven and a half foot tall sharkman who can punch mountains in half. But, I do this privately or internally.

Externally, I get a couple days to think it over. Turning down the marriage might sour the relationship between the Kingdom in question and the USA. And my character's family has been after him to get married finally.

So....

Probably say yes, but just feel really bad for the Princess the whole time.

>> No.52254306

>>52237930
I always thought of a strange scenario, what if the hero was a masked warrior who when he was younger asked for the Princess' hand and was mocked for thinking a low born scum like him could have her?

When the hero removes his helm, would the King apologize?

>> No.52254363

>>52237930
Marry her and make a new character.

>> No.52254380

>>52237958
>Implying the PCs are not the richest fucks in the entire world with the ability to utterly destroy any political enemies they might have

>> No.52254390

>>52237930
My current character is a 7 int Kobold Barbarian.

>And so beings the reign of King *incomprehensible lizard noises*, First of his name!
>All matters of state are determined by fisticuffs.
>The national beverage is malt liquor.
>The entire royal guard gets yakuza tattoos.
>Diplomats must test themselves in an arm wrestle against the king before they make their case. The ones that flinch get thrown out.
>Due to deck of many things based shenanigans, he's super charismatic for some reason, wow.

What a glorious world this would be.

>> No.52254393

>>52237930

>Chaotic Good Dope-addled degenerate Elven Mage/Thief who has dedicated himself to ruining the lives and fortunes of those who abuse their power by exposing their dirty laundry. Well, when he's not murderhoboing it up with his fellows.

"Well, your Grace, you do keep your nose clean enough, and your daughter is both gorgeous and charming, but how will your court take to this? -pause- You're smiling."

I stop and ask the other players if they want the campaign to go in this direction or not, and respond accordingly. I often play magnificient bastards and have inadvertently ruined at least one group's game without meaning to.

>> No.52254616

>>52237930
>What would your current party/character do?
Wonder how the fuck I got in this situation and if the king has me confused for someone else

>> No.52254637

>>52237958
>be me, King of a land with male inheritence
>have no sons
>have a bunch of daughters
>can't marry oldest to foreign powers, it'll cause an inheritence problem
>can't marry oldest to regular folk
>all the noble boys are preoccupied with high fashion
>just as I'm thinking it through the champions of the realm come
>they've defeated thousands of dangerous monsters, unraveled powers that would destroy any kingdom, are beloved by the people and even most nobles, have enough gold to hire an armies, and jave proven their leadership skills by managing various crises

>better just marry her to the neighboring kingdom and end our family line

>> No.52254665

>>52248632
Party one: You
Party two: The princess/Her family
Party three: independent person/group who can obtain accurate information.

If you just ask her or the king there's no guarantee they won't lie to you, and they might be prepared for you to investigate yourself and intentionally mislead as to how bad the debt is.

I don't care how much /tg/ wants to marry the redeemed succubus, that bitch is getting audited before she gets within ten feet of your +6 Holy Avenger if you know what's good for you

>> No.52254758
File: 88 KB, 650x650, aXm581xjU.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52254758

>>52237930
If this was announced publicly, there's little choice but to accept. Not that I personally fear the king's displeasure, but it would be bad for the whole kingdom should hostilities arise.

Either way, politely explain to the king in private that the duty the heavens have set upon me will keep me away from home for the foreseeable future and I'm likely to die before I retire. If the king is fine with this, then let the marriage proceed. Otherwise, I'll help him find a way to back out from his promise in a way that'll let him save face.

>> No.52255712

>>52238005
My party would fucking hate me for this
>Oh, welcome back anon, were you off fucking your princess wife again?
>I mean you only do that every night, is all.
>While we are in the dungeon
>Or under siege
>Or when we are all exhausted after a massive fight and want more then anything so sleep in a nice warm bed instead of the cold hard dirt/stone/mud
>....GIVE ME THAT FUCKING TELEPORT STICK
That honestly might be the fastest way to a TPK, thinking about it. That would only take a few sessions to pop off lol

>> No.52255775

>>52255712
Next scene is a gangbang.
Twenty years later, war of succession for the kingdom with a very confused family lineage.

>> No.52258097

>>52237930

Fake death, again.

>> No.52258194

>>52237930
>party consists of two women who are already married, to each other and one robot that is also a woman
So who's she being offered to?

>> No.52258246

>>52237930
> What would your current party/character do?

>Pokemon Tabletop Adventures
We're confused, about all too young to really understand the concept, but one of us would probably declare "Yeah, you can come live your own adventure with us!". We then give her pok├ęballs and breed her a starter.

> Pathfinder Dracopocalypse, PCs lvl 5 begin to be mythic, whatever is left of humanity has an heavy Lawful Evil / Devil-related dictatorship/theocracy connotation

My wizard has better things to do than court her and making her happy. I would probably go "sure, whatever, you'd better take a lover, and one that will not give you rock-dumb offsprings". King would never choose our half-drow rogue. The rock-dumb melee druid would also be unsuited. The oracle is an heretic to this culture. The paladin too, but he actually tries to hide it.

My bet is the paladin would get married, if only to hide his true nature in plain sight.

>> No.52258266

>>52258194
> That spoiler
Doesn't really matter, dark clouds are gathering and hordes of undeads are about to swarm the city.

>> No.52258309
File: 151 KB, 389x600, 1473194632988.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52258309

>>52237930
>Be Great Hero

>Don't want to be a tool to some wanker king

>Turn down the offer anyway and fuck off until some other world ending event comes up

He maybe a king. But there's always gonna be a need for a "great hero" no matter how much I miss him off.

>> No.52258436

>>52258309
Were you this dismissive of your English teacher as well?

>> No.52258475

>>52258436
Yeah, I'm just not giving a shit

>> No.52258585

>>52245993
>>neither of you care if the other has affairs on the side
Reee
Not pure!

>> No.52258867

>>52237998
...he was told it was the fastest way to trigger an undead invasion, and he really wants a final throwdown with the Lich King?
>Sorry to meme, but now I'm actually curious about why a king would marry his daughter to a woman (besides muh modern marital values in muh fantasy game, because that's clearly too easy an answer).

>> No.52258889

>>52258194
All three of them

>> No.52258908

>>52238639
Maybe he KNOWS the position he's putting you in.
Maybe he thinks his daughter being married to an adventurer will toughen her up.
Maybe it's about her, not about you.
But you never think about anyone but yourself, do you, anon?

>> No.52258993
File: 817 KB, 1224x814, we_are_not_taking_the_wizard_by_mattrhodesart-dad8dpd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52258993

>>52237930
So I insult the king, his kingdom, all the beta lords from here to the next continent, and be on my merry way.

I'm a murderhobo not a diplomat, why should I care?

>> No.52260244
File: 4 KB, 160x174, th-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52260244

>>52237930

My knight wins at live is what happens

>> No.52260633

>>52237930
I won't get another chance to troll a whole kingdom in a long time.
Daga kotowaru!

>> No.52260763

>>52258309
Mugen was a fucking loser, dude.

>> No.52261087
File: 482 KB, 939x974, chaos in the imperium.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52261087

>>52237930
Murder-rape the princess, the king, everyone in the castle, sack the castle/city, and call the lich they freed at Death Frost Doom to bring his zombie army in to wipe out the entire fucking kingdom, then use their new Necropolis as a staging ground for invading neighboring lands.

My players are fucking monsters. Idk why the king would even be grateful to them in the first place.

>> No.52261270

>>52261087

It's less "gratitude" than "if I give them the throne and my daughter, maybe they'll spare my subjects".

>> No.52261506

>>52237930
Whelp my character is an unseelie very low end noble fae.. So He would accept, and even work around doing more adventures in order to gain more boons, parcels of land, servants, and seeking out a way to be the best son in law, or even prove to be more competent than any of his own sons. Also arrange for assassinations of anyone else in line. Being Fae, he will of course outlive anyone and inherit a kingdom. Yay Unseelie faerie kingdom!

>> No.52261648

>>52261270
lol no.

They know he exists, and therefore is a dead man.

>> No.52261715

>>52237930

>Aegis wants to either use her as cannon fodder or ransom her back
>Lurkz doesn't really care but thinks schlepping around a portable whore/ale fetcher might be nice
>Aayaca doesn't care either way
>Croaker wants to dissect her to see if the "noble breeding" meme has any weight to it
>Blodwyn (my character) is practically drooling at the idea of making her succulent, fatty, lavishly pampered flesh into a pie

>> No.52262195

>>52261715
Jesus Christ, anon.

Are you playing a medieval Hannibal Lecter or what?

>> No.52262546

>>52238682
You're a paladin, anon, and you're married in a loving consensual relationship.

You just have to smite her over and over again until she's a better necromancer.

>> No.52263034
File: 16 KB, 570x428, gmone.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52263034

>>52237930
The Gnome cleric of Garl Glittergold takes him up on his offer because the muscle wizard is celibate and the regular wizard is spoken for.

>> No.52263067
File: 136 KB, 294x256, 1486006474406.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52263067

>>52237930
>party is mostly made of people who are either in relationships with each other or are happily married
>king wants to force his shitty little princess on someone
Sure, I think the ranger's pet needed someone.

>> No.52263098

>>52237930
>Group of arch-lich destroying assholes
>King knows they constantly are getting in to giant fights with tons of collateral
>Wants to send his daughter off with them
king's a retard

>> No.52263161

>>52262195

Sort of. I'm playing a changeling Witch who's the twin sister of the party Alchemist (Croaker). A combination of her hag heritage, being driven half-mad by the supernatural pull of her mother at the edge of her consciousness, and being raised in less-than-ideal living conditions by tribe of Orcs alongside her brother has given her a taste for the flesh of intelligent creatures. The two of them...well, let's say they tend to take the term "human resources" literally.

>> No.52263178

>>52237930
Refuse. Or maybe the female Wizard would take the grenade.

>> No.52263410

>>52237958
I had a character get married to a high noblemen's daughter (second cousin to the king) but I was the son of a very minor noblemen (did some shit and got some lands a few hundred years ago). It was similar, where the daughter was ethereally beautiful and sought after by many noblemen and a prince and a duke of two other countries. The difference was that I was a level 16 paladin by that time and was literally the strongest paladin of Bahamut within several kingdoms, strongest paladin in the kingdom, and one of the strongest, still active, paladins in the whole world. Turns out she was promised to a demon because high-noble shenanigans and the father, in his own fucked-up way, was doing all he could to ensure her rescue. Clever bastard.

>> No.52263541
File: 457 KB, 1043x588, crown tipping intensifies.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52263541

>>52238709
Su won pls go.

>> No.52263570

>Married
>Female
>Hobgoblin
I don't understand what makes this an appealing option for the King.

>> No.52265715

>>52238375
Hi, Conan

>> No.52265820

definitely take her. fuck her so good every night

>> No.52266020

>>52237930
Marry her. Get her some levels in a Profession or two. Complete the Way of the Demon, thus becoming immortal. Have both her and I ascend to Material God status. Take over the planet. Bend the Dragon and Cthon to my will. Restart the Dyson Sphere-sized ancient battleship in the depths of the solar system. Use it to take over the universe. Have some kids.

Necromancy's great.

>> No.52266787

One character was an in-demand prostitute for nobility, and is also a complete asshole (on accident), so he probably refuses in the worst way possible.

Another just teleports out immediately.

Yet another says yes, then absconds from the situation as quickly as possible.

>> No.52267842
File: 26 KB, 250x303, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52267842

>>52237930
Accept and settle down, certainly beats life in the guard.

>> No.52267941

>>52237930
>My main character (A neutral good elf wizard) who is currently in a pocket dimension for 8 months

If it would be beneficial to the kingdom and it's people (and I get to look at the royal archives) sure.

>The character I am playing while my main is out of commission (a true neutral tiefling rogue)

Does that mean I get to eat all the food I want? SOLD!

>> No.52268358
File: 360 KB, 500x375, 1477953015147.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
52268358

>>52237930

>Current character is a noble who ran out on his own lineage to avoid ruling, alliances and political marriage bullshit

>> No.52268447

>>52238084
>Maybe the King wishes to inject some raw power into his bloodline
Wouldn't matter, it'd be the Adventurer's children, not the princesses'.

>> No.52268464

>>52237930
Accept if the king has no sons.
Otherwise no thanks

>> No.52268626

>>52268464
>not accepting anyway and murdering the other sons

>> No.52268628

I was thinking about my character but then I remembered I'm a foreverDM

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