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[ERROR] No.48656268 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

How do barbarians mate and get married in your setting?

>> No.48656310

During rage.

>> No.48656328

The male barbarian arranges the marriage, then "kidnaps" his new wife in the dead of night and carries her off somewhere private. She cuts her hair short and dresses like a boy so her husband can get used to fucking women for a change. After a few weeks, they go home again and are now a married couple.
Note: Male soldiers buggering each other on the campaign trail is not considered gay nor especially improprietary, but married men are supposed to abstain, because it's supposed to be the younger dudes that do it.

>> No.48656363


>> No.48656452

They don't. They are completely asexual so I don't pander to some faggots fetishes.

>> No.48656487

What, you wouldn't have a barbarian wedding reception as an interaction scene? You could have brawling and orgies going on in the background while the players discuss business with the local warlord.

>> No.48656509

People who live in scarcity rarely have time ir resources enough for orgies. Which is to say nothing of the extreme vulnerability you'd be left in with near total strangers

>> No.48656518

>he did it
>no, he did it

>> No.48656537

This could come up in my campaign because I'm currently running Pathfinder and they're traveling through Numeria but it won't. My group is a bunch of unimaginative fucks that gets bored if its not object to objective smash time.

>> No.48656644

With the women of their tribe? Boring answer, I know.

A more exciting answer would be if it's an all-female tribe due to magical wombs or whatever, so they all have to go off and either woo or kidnap the men they like. In the civilized world this leads to a drastic shortage in eligible men, so the women start organizing themselves into all-female knightly orders to protect their men from thirsty barbarians.

But alas, that's my magical realm so it'll never enter my setting.

>> No.48656665


Joke's on you nigger-kun, I fap to chaste musclebabes.

>> No.48656668

How do they get more barbarians?

>> No.48656700

It's a class, not a race.

>> No.48656721

It's called "sex" actually, and the answer depends on the culture in question.
Most just have it when they want to as they are usually mildly more egalitarian then some of the civilized cultures, but some are patriarchal or matriarchal.

>> No.48656736

>young men and women gather to take the oaths of chastity and become Barbarians
>young Paladins of Sune carousing and whoring it up in the dockside taverns

>> No.48656738


>> No.48656741

A man and a women when interested in eachother have to prove to the tribe they are both capable of defending the tribe equally, and for most of them this means being able to fight eachother to a stand still. However there are ways to sort of "proxy" they skill, for example a blacksmith being able to produce quality blades or armor or a healer being skilled enough to take care of the wounded shows his or her worth to the tribe, even if they aren't quite as capable at fighting as the Warriors.

>> No.48656760

in my setting "barbarians" are usually just going through a phase. They campaign around in big groups, and often get close to someone else in the group at that time.

After a few years they settle down together as professional soldiers rather than rampaging hooligans.

>> No.48656766


So young men are protected by elegant and modest ladies from the lascivious hordes?

>> No.48656849

The more jealous women consider it unsafe for their loved ones to leave the house unattended, lest savages spirit them away or uncouth women catcall and harass them

>> No.48656890

>Barbarian tribes are hippie communes

>> No.48656938

makes sense to me

>> No.48657068


Is-is it ok if I imagine that the men being fought over are actually adorable shotas?

>> No.48657105

Kill yourself.

>> No.48657199

>Male soldiers buggering each other on the campaign trail is not considered gay
Chilling tale, brother

>> No.48657201

This sounds about right. "If you're strong enough to defend the tribe, you ought to be strong enough to defend each other." If they're fighters, the two lovebirds MUST fight to a draw before receiving the chieftain's blessing and get hitched. Then there's an organized ceremony, then there's the reception with plenty of drinking and singing and fucking among the guests.

>> No.48657342

More like punks/biker gangs

>> No.48657355

Of course

>> No.48657567

Don't tell me OP, let me guess...

You are the 99%.

>> No.48658038

It's a question of culture, not of game etiquette.

>> No.48658687

>Female finds fuckboi
>Claims fuckboi

>> No.48658705

Best tastes

>> No.48658709

>OP genuinly believes barbarians are a race or culture.

I think I've finally reached the breaking point after years of browsing /tg/

>> No.48658772

Does "nomadic warrior tribes" suit you better?

>> No.48658777

>Implying "Roman" and "Barbarian" aren't the only two cultures on earth

>> No.48658827

Yes, becuase "Barbarian" is a blanket insult more than a descriptive of an entire people.


Nice trips, but what?

>> No.48658881

Fucking Greeks

>> No.48658894

Kinda funny how the Romans did that, considering Barbarian was a catchall term for non-Greek. That makes the greentext hilarious now that I put some thought into it.
>Implying "Roman" and "non-Greek" aren't the only two cultures on earth

>> No.48658955

They don't have marriage. Not in the traditional sense at least. The lives of the nomadic monster slaying barbarian tribes are typically so short, sparse and brutal that there is very little time to waste on officially acknowledging whose with who. Their mates will probably be dead soon anyways. Some individuals will still stick to one mate at a time and form deeply loyal romances while others will sleep around. The tribe as a whole supports the pregnant women so there isn't much care about paternity. Or even maternity once the child is born and starts being passed from one milk filled breast to the next.

Of course this changes with Barbarians who head south to live the considerably easy lives of mercenaries and will typically adopt the martial customs of their host culture since they don't have much of their own culture to be proud of and stick too.

>> No.48658969

my barbarians are like amazons, there are female tribes and male tribes and once in a while the tribes "get together". any male children go to male tribe and female children to female tribe

>> No.48658998

Oil wrestling followed by exchanging gifts of brass knuckles and shivs.

Yes, because the three cultures are "Greek", "Persians" and "Egypteans". Everything else are just natural slaves.

>> No.48659000

That's retarded
>One pair of male and female tribes decide to stick together
>Immediately out breed and crush all their rivals

>> No.48659022

Hippie bikers living in punk communes, then.

>> No.48659024

>She cuts her hair short and dresses like a boy so her husband can get used to fucking women for a change

>> No.48659172

I have a game going with nomadic barbarian tribes to the lands in the far west.

The man and woman are considered married after they shed blood side by side, battling the undead hordes. After they return victorious, they fill a cup with equal parts of their blood, each drink half, then fuck like wild animals. There is no need for vows or anything since that shit goes unspoken. They both know they're bonded now from then to the afterlife that awaits.

The most skilled and strongest of warriors often take more than one wife, and rides into battle with a group of warrior maidens at his side, each fighting for one another. The wives see themselves as sisters in blood and share a similar bond as that of their husband.

While homosexual tendencies aren't unheard of, their tribes rely on reproduction to stay strong. No matter their sexual orientation, a man is expected to bear child with a woman.

i remember that bitch getting fucked in the ass by a slime girl in an h-game i played. Fairly decent I guess.

>> No.48659238

Chieftain Vulfbert, this roman insults you
>I see! What dares he say about me? What ruin has his sharp tongue wrought?
He says that he does not understand your norse words.
>... Ah.

The real insult was disappointment.

>> No.48660066

Who are you quoting?

>> No.48660109

yes populated by tribes of people from outside the majority culture/society. now answer the question about those minority cultures you damn retard.

>> No.48660509

>considered married

words have meanings, anon. You can't be a married maiden.

>> No.48661149


>> No.48661278

That thumbnail angers me.

>> No.48661305

>You can't be a married maiden.
You can if your husband is a sissy boy who can't find his dick with both hands and never consummated the marriage. In which case divorce is not only allowed but recommended.

>> No.48661592

That's because by (Medieval Christian) law you aren't married until you consummate. It's not considered a divorce because it was never technically a marriage. A priest just happened to say some words next to a pair of people wearing a bride's dress and a groom's suit.

>> No.48661628

Are barbarians the most waifable class? Were they made for protective cuddling and tender loving?

>> No.48661689

>The man and woman are considered married after they shed blood side by side
That's retarded. Marriage would be utterly meaningless since anyone who had a survival instinct would end up fighting with plenty of men or woman in their lifetime. Why would champions use their brides as meat shields? What if these people happen to kill a zombie while standing side by someone they didn't give a damn about?

Do you know how exhausting draining half a cup of blood straight from your body at once would be? Especially after a battle where you already probably bled a fair amount. The sex would suck because the guy wouldn't have the blood to get it up.

>> No.48661722


Paladins are the most waifable class.

>> No.48661742

>jacked and stacked
these things don't go together in real life

>> No.48661749

I'm pretty sure a rogue/thief fits being a waif more.

>> No.48661763

Paladin can't snu-snu
Paladin don't erupt in a fit of overprotective rage when another woman so much as looks at you
Paladin can't envelop you when they spoon you
Paladin aren't ripped as fuark

>real life
Woe is you, weakling. I have abandoned 3D a long time ago. Such concerns as "real life" do not bother me when it comes to women.

>> No.48661767

The males get down on all fours, bob their heads a lot, and fan out their neck flaps to attract females.

>> No.48661778


Paladins are fit and lovely holy warriors dedicated to goodness and virtue, they're a different sort of amazing that I honestly prefer compared to the Barbarian.

>> No.48661835

Wife yes, waifu no. A barbarian woman is going to consistently tell you to get off your duff and exhaust yourself at work and with projects around the house and if you work hard and make her happy she's gonna fetch you that beer when you ask, feed you like a king, and rock you like a hurricane at night. If you slack around though it'll be like she doesn't even know who the hell you are or what you're doing in her house.

>> No.48661870

>A barbarian woman is going to consistently tell you to get off your duff and exhaust yourself at work and with projects around the house
Joke's on you, that's my fetish!

>> No.48661877

>Can only have sex in a handful of orthodox positions
>Can't have sex while pregnant
>Can't have sex on holy days
>Have to fast continually
>Will make you live sparsely even if you have the wealth of a king
>Will go off the wall if you do anything "sinful" in her eyes.

Your waifu is shit! SHIIIIT!!

>> No.48661926

>people who literally invented the word barbarian to describe people who didn't speak their language
Pick one.

>> No.48661934

You clearly misunderstand because the scenario in the hentai you posted is the exact opposite of what I just said.

>> No.48661952

Not really.

But I guess I misunderstood. J-just let me have my fantasies about taking care of a stronk, (over)protective woman.

>> No.48661977

Oh I thought that was the Hentai where the house husband got cucked by the guy who actually made a living for himself.

That was a good Doujinn. Very realistic.

>> No.48662023 [SPOILER] 

>where the house husband got cucked
He's the one doing the cucking

>Very realistic.
Au contraire: http://edition.cnn.com/2015/06/01/living/infidelity-men-women-breadwinners-feat/

>> No.48662070

I for one prefer my lady barbarians to be plush.
Y'know, slightly thiccc.
More bounce to the ounce.
High test.

>> No.48662089

>How do barbarians mate

Did your parents not have "that" talk with you?

Also marriage is used to solidify political alliances between tribes. Polygamy is common and having many wives means that a barbarian leader has his shit together, because he has to give each wife equal attention or risk offending her tribe.

Common barbarians are mostly monogamous. Men and woman can agree they are married. It's also common for either gender to take a mate through raiding.

>> No.48662106

Stop playing D&D.

>> No.48662119

Hmm. Very odd. Though with how the article makes the female breadwinners sound its not surprising the men walk all over them. You wouldn't happen to have any psychopathic tendencies would you?

>> No.48662156

>Implying I'd ever cheat
I'm just saying breadwinner wives are less likely to cheat than non-breadwinner wives. They are in every possible respect superior over non-breadwinner wives, and that "they cuck you for a REAL man" thing is mostly a fantasy.

>> No.48662181

In my setting, male and female roles are strictly defined and enforced for barbarians.

>> No.48662298

>cum with me if you want to live

>> No.48662300

>Implying I'd ever cheat
I didn't imply that. The study did. I implied that a correlation may have existed between men who want bread winning wives and psychopaths due to the lack of empathy.

Wives of breadwinners are only morel likely to cheat by like 2%. Plus like the study says you don't have to feel emasculated.

>> No.48662308

>Buff chicks in dresses

This needs to stop. I like both of those things but not together.

>> No.48662324

Yes that is what I prefer as well. Barbarian chicks just know that a wife fairly capable of influencing their husband through negative and positive stimulation after certain behavior trends.

>> No.48662343

When two barbarians meet in the fields, they will vie for dominance. The stronger barbarian will restrain and then force his ovipositor into the abdominal cavity of the weaker one.

>> No.48662359

Why would a Barbarian want to impregnate such a weak counterpart?

>> No.48662560

Is it okay if I want to train my/my character's body and mind so I'm a match for the women of the world? Of course, this might also mean I'm just making myself/character an even more attractive and 'worthy' mate...

>> No.48662774

Depends on what you mean by train and if it'll stop you from being a delicious shota

>> No.48662831

By budding

>> No.48662969

That's my fetish.

>> No.48662999

>get sucked off by the new barbarian chick sprouting from her bicep

>> No.48663088

Once you reach a certain buffness threshold the god of buff will just stop keeping track of your gains and let you look like whatever you want.

Tfw the evil Barbarian Witch Queen thinks you're just another weakling man trying to stop her in the name of love right before you physically suplex her into the ground and metaphorically body slam your self straight into her heart

>> No.48663104

Eh, kinda defeats the point if you're stronger than the barbarian waifu

>> No.48663218

How so?

>> No.48663274


>> No.48663358

....im pretty sure that dude meant that shedding blood side by side was the marriage ritual for couples, not that shedding blood next to a random opposite sex barbarian was an automarriage

>> No.48663401


>> No.48663426

is this why blood magic has been declared forbidden among the tribes?

>> No.48663445

I see it as just the result of living a very basic existence. Men do the hunting, fighting and learn horsemanship while women run the household.

>> No.48663588

>Not having her tenderly overpowering you despite your protests

>> No.48663960

What are you? Gay?

>> No.48664028

No, but it's hotter when she's snu snuing you to exhaustion and beyond

>> No.48664069

They ask others in their tribe if they would, for whatever reason, be opposed to a hot dicking at the moment.
>get married
They figure out which person they think gives/receives the best hot dickings.

>> No.48665104

A barbarian (either gender) proclaims themselves open for mating, and kills the largest, most dangerous thing they can, and put it on display outside their tent. Anyone who wishes to mate with them must kill the same type of creature or something bigger, and drop it next to the tent to proclaim their interest.

>> No.48666232

In my setting there aren't really any 'human' barbarians, humans belong to the great empires and civilized places.

The only barbarians would be beastmen, who rape each other and pretty much anything that moves to reproduce. Since they are part animal they can fuck cows, pigs, goats, as well as human women to make more and more beastmen.

The irony is that most humans are terrified that the beastmen are coming to steal their women when they actually don't like human women that much, it makes the next generation of beastmen softer, too human. But they'll fulfill their savage urges either way.

Oh, and because I'm an SJW these rape and pillage parties can include both sexes of beastmen. Why not?

>> No.48666538

>Discribing greeks


>> No.48666575

>>48661742 Bug tits mean decent body fat, big muscles do not mean low body fat.
Sculpted and stacked (as in their pic) doesn't happen, but jacked and stacked does.

>> No.48666605


>> No.48666606


Their parents arrange their marriages for them. "Mating" without that is grounds for both parties or just the girl, depending on customs and how powerful the girl's family feels like, being killed. Of course, if you have a few dozens of armed thugs behind your back you can kidnap and fuck whomever you want as long as you do not touch relatives or wives of your key supporters.

So you know, just like your average barbarians IRL.

>> No.48666635


>> No.48666652

The female barbarian screams and hurls objects. The man reads poetry to her, and ducks a lot.

>> No.48666906

Underrated post

>> No.48667067


With great fervor

Kidnapping with various gradations of ritual, typically richer=more elaborate. Plus, they don't have to be unenthusiastic about being kidnapped. The best-case scenario goes a bit like "I am here to kidnap your daughter," "oh no, he is here to kidnap me and ravish the hell out of me" at which point girl leaps into boy's arms, and the parents are heard to say "don't come back until I have grandkids."

>> No.48667252

The Magical Realm is strong in this one.

>> No.48667583


>> No.48667678

You posted Risty to make this dumb thread? This is disgraceful.

>> No.48667719

Do you want me to hold you, dear anon?
n-no homo... unless you want it.

>> No.48667774

>How does X commonly happen in your setting
>Posting what basically boils down to "depends on the setting"

>> No.48667922

It'd probably stop the delicious-shota-ness and replace it with mildly-effeminate-pretty-boy-ness.

And I mean strength and discipline training. Sitting under waterfalls; balancing on bamboo trees; marital drill; meditation; stuff like that.

Then when the Spartan warrior woman thinks you're another pathetic man about to cower in fear; or the barbarian queen scoffs at the idea of you standing in her way, you break her spear and hurl herto the ground. But just as the fight is over, you realise she's looking at you with a whole other kind of respect and desire, beyond you simply being loot to take...

>> No.48667990

>It'd probably stop the delicious-shota-ness and replace it with mildly-effeminate-pretty-boy-ness.

>Then when the Spartan warrior woman thinks you're another pathetic man about to cower in fear; or the barbarian queen scoffs at the idea of you standing in her way, you break her spear and hurl herto the ground. But just as the fight is over, you realise she's looking at you with a whole other kind of respect and desire, beyond you simply being loot to take...
See >>48663588 and >>48664028

>> No.48668005

Depends on the setting, depends on WHICH culture group we are talking, depends on regional derivatives, depends on how well the last farming went, depends on how far away from nearby cvilisation it's taking place, depends of the season in the year...

And, as you've mentioned - depends on the setting.

What? You were thinking there is some One And Only Uniform Barbarian Tribe in the setting I'm currently playing?

>> No.48668116

Like normal humans.

>> No.48668126

I understand the appeal of that. Buuuut...

Think about how strong and /fit/ she is... And now imagine that you both manage to mutually tire one another out. You throw her down over and over, but she keeps standing back up! Even when she and you both can barely move, she's just been getting more and more certain that she HAS to have you-!

And she can't act on it. Eventually, you're both too tired to keep up the struggle. But as you leave, you know that she isn't going to give up. For the rest of your life, she's going to HAVE to have you; you're the only man she's ever met who's FINALLY a worthy husband!

>> No.48668162

>And she can't act on it. Eventually, you're both too tired to keep up the struggle. But as you leave, you know that she isn't going to give up. For the rest of your life, she's going to HAVE to have you; you're the only man she's ever met who's FINALLY a worthy husband!
That's not as hot though
It's hotter when she can outlast and completely overpower you

>> No.48668367

See, I don't agree that that's the 'best' but it is 'great' and I respect your opinion.

Besides, imagine if after you stalemate her the first time, she comes back and this time she's even more motivated, until she can FINALLY pin you down and you get to see the lust and need and excitement in her eyes as she looms over you...

>> No.48668441

What if she's not into shota's? What if a young prince has his life saved from horrid monsters and is so impressed by the barbarian's strength that he proposes to marry her?
What if the barbarian rejects the shota, jokingly telling him to try again in ten years?
What if ten years later, the now handsome and adult prince actually returns to propose to his first love, who's as buff as ever?

>> No.48668496

You... I like you.

I propose the prince team up with that martial artist and go on adventures, one to win the heart of his love and the other to prove that men are worthy of respect and more than just prizes to be taken.

>> No.48668570

Best answer

>> No.48669813

benis in bagina/booty

bathing in the blood of any great beast or adversary the pair slay together, and reciting certain oaths of love and loyalty

>> No.48670027

>'muh jacked waifu overpowering and dominating poor submissive Shota self-insert unfortunately HAWT!'

>lazy effeminate faggot making the amazon do all the work

Worthless, dickless fops. Might as well flick her bean if you're all going to be that boring and placid. My gf gets mad if I make her ride on top or dom me and not don't rail crazy hard her in return.

>> No.48670179

Best posted

>> No.48670207

This thread has magical realm written all over it.

>> No.48670231

>if i make her ride on top
Why? Why would she get mad? Don't you find that disturbing that your girlfriend gets mad from having sex with you in a particular position? She sounds crazy as fuck m8

>> No.48670319

The female barbarian spends a good portion of her life searching for a suitable mate. They do not engage in coitus with any others until they have found said mate, and typically remain virgins well into their 30s, depending on the prominence of suitable male mates in their territory.

On occassion, a female barbarian taken by the lust of battle will become extremely horny. When this happens, it has been observed that the female, with no knowledge of masturbation in barbarian culture, will atempt to grind her weapons to release tension, like a primal beast not understanding their body. It has been described as an awesome sight.

What a suitable mate means varies across barbarian cultures. Some will even choose other barbarians. The most common archetypes are strong, leader-type males, or small femenine males, but on very rare occassions there have also been female paladins or knights chosen as mates. This rarity is the driving force of a most extremely satisfying event to behold. The female knight and barbarian will be unable to produe offspring, and in addition, neither knows how to deal with being horny. This often creates scenes where the barbarian grinds the female paladin's plate mail, as the female paladin attempts to use holy smite between her legs.

>> No.48670370

>How dare you expect something from women in your fantasies, you misogynist shitlord!
>Even in your fantasies you should only exist to fulfill the desires of women

>> No.48670404 [DELETED] 

>Being this tier retarded
Ever heard about mutuality?

>> No.48670413

>Being this tier retarded
Ever heard about mutuality?
Oh, right - how could you. being a kissless /d/-virgin

>> No.48670438

>Ever heard about mutuality?
I have, but if everything has to be repaid in kind to the point of utter and complete equality, then 99.9% of women are shit-tier.
99.9% of women are shit-tier

>> No.48670545

Welcome to Sparta

>> No.48670999

If a barbarian sees another barbarian they fancy, then they directly approach them.
It's then customary for the one being asked to challenge the potential suitor to a fight. The fight may be right there or at a different time or place.
If the potential suitor loses the fight, then they will have to try again at an arbitrarily later date defined by the winner which may be as long as "never again."
If they win, then barbarian courtship really begins.
The couple then lives and/or works together for some time. They may choose to mutually leave the relationship, or appeal to local leaders if they can't win in a fight against their partner to leave.
Children can be produced in this courtship outside of marriage, but aren't regarded with a lower social standing like bastards in other societies. These bastards are considered to be of their own new family since neither parent were bonded in marriage. It's considered a huge faux pas to shun a bastard who's descended from your family.
Marriage is also proposed with a fight, but it is largely only ceremonial. Either person may initiate the proposal fight. The person being proposed to has the decision to accept or reject regardless of the outcome. Most marriage fights consist of a dozen blows being exchanged before the person being proposed to ceremonially yields. These fights are usually pubic and the pair are technically married at the conclusion of the fight, but local leaders and family members may say a few words afterwards. These pubic marriages are usually followed with feasting. Marriages can be important in that they immediately end feuding between families. The loser of the marriage fight is considered absorbed into the winner's family, but doesn't lose their ties to their old family.
Married couples are husband and wife while courting couples are man and woman.
An important note is that marriage is monogamous, while courting can be polygamous/polyandrous

Barbarian divorce usually ends with someone dead.

>> No.48671049

>woman is mad about riding dick

I got bad news, OP, your woman is insane and will likely drown any children she produces.

>> No.48671083

So what you're telling me is unless you're going to polymorph yourself into a sybian, your woman won't bother riding you even slowly? Then your woman is a lazy shit who doesn't want a man. She just wants a meat powered vibrator. Hope you've picked an amusing name for yourself to write on your box.

>implying domming a physically superior woman to make her feel what her far more feminine companions are always on about isn't my fetish.
>further implying that slam fucking a woman from below isn't the best way to give them the sort of dicking that will leave them a drooling mess of smiles afterwards.

>> No.48671094

Reading comprehension. She doesn't mind the position, it's doing all the work that pisses her off. So she'd expect him to be vigorously bucking in that situation.

>> No.48671195

>All the non-virgins in this thread

>> No.48671373

>This entire thread
Is this how kissless virgins imagine relationships?

>> No.48671433

Courtship is usually initiated gently, at first.

Name calling. Insults. Slander. Questioning the bravery and integrity of their relations. Perhaps some practical jokes at their expense.

If the other party is not interested, they will turn the other cheek and choose not to respond to these provocations, thus informing the other party that they're simply not interested or feel they are not worth the effort. Such a reaction generally invokes the initiating party to cease their courtship attempts, though some may wish to escalate their attentions in order to invoke a reaction. Generally, it is seen as bad form and a sign of poor character to continue courting when the other party has made it clear they're not interested.

If the attraction is mutual, however, the courtship process with escalate, often rapidly, into what can appear to people unfamiliar with the pervading cultural customs as a full blown blood feud. Violence and the threat thereof is an integral part of barbarian society, as the ability to impose ones will and follow through with ones threats are generally regarded as admirable qualities.

Whilst these passionate processes rarely lead to serious injury or death, the receiving and giving of a visible wounding, as such that leaves a visible scar, is considered the height of romance. To leave your chosen beloved marked is to have it known that you had the strength of arms to meet them in combat, and to ensure that they will forever be reminded of you.

>> No.48671594


>> No.48671661


The steppe is trackless, eh?

>> No.48671664

> Paladin can't snu-snu
> Paladin don't erupt in a fit of overprotective rage when another woman so much as looks at you
Good; don't need no more drama.
> Paladin can't envelop you when they spoon you
> Paladin aren't ripped as fuark
> Not going with strong-fat for your barbarians
Pleb status: confirmed.

I'll take a book-worm magician any day

>> No.48671700

Goddamn that is one sexy beast.

The dog, I mean. The fatty is ugly as shit

>> No.48671703

>All the people in the thread supporting the courtship through violence method thinking it's creative, interesting, or makes any form of sense.

This needs to stop

>> No.48671715

>people bumping a shitty MUH FEMDOM WAIFU thread
This needs to stop.

>> No.48671836

> Fat
I see you don't lift.

>> No.48671895

Yeah nah, she's fat

>> No.48671935

I want to cook delicious meals for my warrior waifu, full of protein so she retains her sexy muscles.

>> No.48672172


amen to that anon.

>> No.48672211


>T H I C K barbarian

I hate the fat, but I love to fap to it.

>> No.48672260

Well, if a barbarian is attracted to another person, they'll sometimes institute courtship rituals such as flirting, or gift giving, or simply asking them out on a date. Sometimes they won't do anything, because they're nervous. And some bad actors just take the sex they want, in a crime known as rape. It's really all down to the individuals involved. Weird huh?

>> No.48672275

It would take some serious hormone imbalances for a woman to put on that much muscle. She's likely infertile.

>> No.48672606

>That one barbarian girl who doesn't know how to ask men out
>She has fallen in love with a traveling merchant that sometimes meets with the elders of her tribe to trade their pelts and ivory for fine cloth from the city
>For their first date, she drags him into her tent and forces him to dine with her

>> No.48672727

>Besides, imagine if after you stalemate her the first time, she comes back and this time she's even more motivated, until she can FINALLY pin you down and you get to see the lust and need and excitement in her eyes as she looms over you...
The fact that she ever has to struggle against you at all is what makes it meh instead of hot

The build up is completely unsexy, and the feelings she'd have at the end is also completely different than what is attractive

>What if she's not into shota's?
Then your barbarian has shit tastes

>What if ten years later, the now handsome and adult prince actually returns to propose to his first love, who's as buff as ever?
Shit. Tastes.
No /ss/nu /ss/nu

>>lazy effeminate faggot making the amazon do all the work
My ideal fantasy in this case is both about the sub being ridden to exhaustion and about him learning exactly how to please her best in the process and/or futility struggling against her rather than him doing nothing

/r9k/ pls go

Good tastes, I like my barbarians with more visible muscles but this is a close second

Hot too

Good tastes

Or just fantasy genetics/biology

>> No.48673407

The reason you don't see bigger women is it's just not fashionable. They have a harder time getting huge, it's true, but even women who do train often minimize growth at the sacrifice of max lifts because, "I don't want to get *too* big." It's the same reason you see land whales walking 30mins thrice a week and not understanding why they're not losing weight (no lifts + bad diet).
Kristie Hawkins here competed through 2010, and transitioned into power-lifting in 2011. She's got basically the same body but with less fat.

>> No.48673884

Are you sure that's all without roids? (Female) bodybuilders are notorious roiders.

>> No.48673959

>Not beating down the amazon queen and shackling her in chains like a defeated lioness for you to enjoy at your pleasure over and over again.

Ha, gay. Bad End EVERYONE.

>> No.48674031

>Not being beaten down by the amazon queen and shackled in her chains like a battered puppy for her to coddle and enjoy at her pleasure over and over again.

How does it feel to be a closet homo fruitcake?

>> No.48674164

You guys should read A Brother's Price. It's set in a world where the male to female ratio is 1:20 cause of birth defects. Examples of magical realm: the main character has to wear a veil in public or women who arent his family might get the urge to rape him. He's also protected by his sisters, one who's tsundere and one who's a musclegirl

>> No.48674399

I liked that book. Good read.

You did forget to mention that he's not a sissy despite all of that and stands up for himself when needed.

>> No.48674466

Standard barbarians, they pair with barbarians of their tribe.

Lone barbarians, if they do actually want a family rather than just sex, probably kidnapping a person from a nearest settlement, or travelers, to be their partner.

>> No.48674496

well, atleast in my setting the nobles marry with other nobles and then they could pick concubines

>> No.48674626

>> No.48675262

If a boy barbarian likes a girl barbarian very much, he gathers his friends and cousins together, makes an offering to the twin goddesses of love and lust (they prefer lambs), gather a raiding party, and then ride out to kidnap the woman of his choosing. Most of the time he and the lady he's ridden away with are already in love and the "kidnapping" is actually staged. She still has to pretend to put up a fight so as not to make anyone think her clan breeds weak sluts just waiting to be fucked by any asshole with a horse.

The new husband then rides off a secluded hiding location so that he can take his wife's virginity in peace. While they're off on their barbarian honeymoon, the two families hold a meeting on neutral ground presided over by a shaman. The husband's family negotiate the "compensation" (the dowry) for the wife's family. Once it's been settled, the shaman declares that the feud between the families is over.

The newlywed couple returns and a great feast it held. They recieve bangles with the names of their spouses etched on them to signify their eternal bond. Most of the time they're made of bone, but families from wealthier clans often use gold. The wife also wears a veil over her hair to indicate that she is now an object of lust to no man but her husband. She wears the veil until the birth of their first child, whereupon she ceremonially burns the veil and gains the tattoo of her new clan.

>> No.48675586

People not used to large women assume they're on something, but there's no numbers to support that they do it any more or less than male pro lifters.
Which, Hawkins has been lifting for 14+ years and nobody's so much as called her up for investigation.

>> No.48675642


>> No.48675862

I kek'd

>> No.48675875

Relics of Japanese style of writing is strong in that translation.

regardless, salamanders are hot

>> No.48676013

Why would love and lust be twins? Lust ruins marriage more often than not. Plus those aspects are pretty unimportant to a marriage and are typically the result of more practical things. Wouldn't it make more sense to give an offering the Goddess of Fertility and Wealth?

>> No.48676236


>> No.48676303


>> No.48676319


My setting doesn't have a single uniform barbarian group just like real life.

Its pretty obvious if a chick is roiding out. You'll be surprised how big they can get even without relying on it and generally there are some pretty obvious differences between the two, once you grow just a bit familiar with it becomes easy to see.

>> No.48676344



>> No.48676536

Now see that's fat.

>> No.48676800


Gross vore

>> No.48677341

>>Not being beaten down by the amazon queen and shackled in her chains like a battered puppy for her to coddle and enjoy at her pleasure over and over again.
Best end

>> No.48677843

Generally they hit it off and have sex, and if they really like each other they get a ceremony done by a shaman/druid/cleric or just get some sort of marriage registration written up if they're 'nobility'.
At least in my setting.

>> No.48678348

Femdom is such a garbage meme fetish.

>> No.48678384


>> No.48678435


>> No.48678481

What floats your boat, anon-kun?

>> No.48678779

If both parties agree to partake during the yearly winter ceremony, they wrestle for submission in order to procreate. There are no marriages.

>> No.48679828

Just accept it

>> No.48681985

But each monstergirl exists to appeal to a specific fetish. How can you find them boring? What kind of S-rank /d/eviant must you be?

>> No.48682156

>Femdom is a meme

>> No.48682254

>> No.48682307

Maybe he's an actual fag
Nice that you posted an image that summed up your opinions on yourself

>> No.48682615

>Being seriously this tier retarded
Ok, a crash course for such dense motherfuckers like you.
Femdom - a shitty fetish
Femdom - not a meme

See where this is heading? But apparently in your retarded brain "meme" and "shit" go by their hands

>> No.48682693

>Here, have a crash course in my opinions
You must be really popular

>> No.48682935

It's not me dissing femdom on 4chan or calling it meme...

>> No.48683974

This may be difficult for someone like you to understand anon, but sometimes other people like things you don't, people aren't just pretending to because not everyone shares your shitty autistic tastes

>> No.48685739

Why do you hate femdom, /tg/?

>> No.48685806

>Hating femdom

Why would anyone get so bent out of shape over a preference?

This isn't /v/.

>> No.48685872

Instead pandering to your crippling inability to display any form of sexuality, without considering it inappropriate.

I'd tell you not to breed but you seem to have that covered.

>> No.48686622


If there is anything worse than badly handled fetishes and outright /d/ material in tabletop RPG, then it's driving everything sterile and asexual to the point of unintentional parody.
I fully understand why this is happening, but that doesn't mean I accept it.

>> No.48686842 [DELETED] 

> She is roiding because I said so

>> No.48688374

I don't know, there seems to be a bit of animu elf hate going on. Unless it's one autist going on an autism spree

>> No.48688490

>Unless it's one autist going on an autism spree
Given his posts, this is the most likely option

>> No.48691149

This kind of Amazon best amazon

>> No.48691374

Do you have a thing for smug?

>> No.48691760

I am neutral on smug

>> No.48692803

>Tender love and softcore femdom
>Minimum entry requirement: 18 DEX
I'm not gonna make it.

>> No.48693581

>>real life
Woe is you, weakling. I have abandoned 3D a long time ago. Such concerns as "real life" do not bother me when it comes to women.


>> No.48694634 [DELETED] 

>8ft tall barbarian lady walks over to you
>grabs you under your arms and picks you up like a child
>begins inspecting you and sniffs your body all over
>licks your face and tells you that you are her wife now, before swinging you over her shoulder and carrying you away
What do you do?

>> No.48694650

Post fatties in a musclegirl thread, apparently

>> No.48694672

You don't know what THICC is do you?

>> No.48694698

I have never made a female barbarian character

>> No.48694759

A shitty meme for fat fetishists?

>> No.48694773

Be a good wife and cook for her, prepare baths for her, sit in her lap, cuddle with her and get softly femdomed.

>> No.48694780

"But you haven't even taken me out to dinner yet~"

And then I become the best wife the world has ever seen.
>Washing her feet when she gets back home
>Dressing her wounds
I'm willing to do/learn it all for my musclegirl husband.

>> No.48694921

Sniff and lick her back, wherever I would be able to reach. Hopefully get pat on my head.

>> No.48694942

>having a stank fetish
That's weird.

>> No.48694969


>> No.48695089

>Teleport out of her grip behind her
>Stab in the back
>Remind her its nothing personal
Assassin girls > barbarian bulldykes

>> No.48695092

What >>48694773 and >>48694780 said

>> No.48695397


>> No.48695480

That's a 2hu ogre, not a barbarian.

>> No.48695537

Fetishes are per definition weird.

>> No.48695957

I dislike their chin, but that's my only big complaint.

>> No.48695975

aint nobody dont got a thing for smug

>> No.48696020

>hurr durr um a big pussy
How boring

>> No.48696054

>Remind her its nothing personal
It's definitely personal though, the scenario you just described is personal.

>> No.48696088

pee in a girl's butt, just like dave told me on the playground

>> No.48696350

It's nothing personal.

>> No.48698026

underrated kek

>> No.48698119

For the poor bastards still living on the fringes of civilisation, customary law gives the patriarch of each family guardianship over his wife and non-adult children, and women aren't considered adults until marriage (men are adults after their first kill, successful apprenticeship or marriage, whichever comes first; young men who neither fight nor do skilled labour are likely to be either browbeaten into raiding by their family or married off with an expensive dowry).

Negotiations between patriarchs hammer out the details of any given marriage, the size of the dowry, the extent of kinship obligations beyond the customary, blatant nepotism and favouritism between families and so on. While some portion of the dowry goes directly to the patriarch, most of it is a guarantee of compensation to the wife should the husband decide to divorce her, which both makes breaking the marriage contract rare and allows more impressive dowries in word than in deed. Once the deed is sealed the two are formally married on the next full moon, the woman moves from her father's household to her husband's, and both families and their guests take three days to celebrate. Marriages are usually formalised around the same time each year, creating a de facto clan-wide celebration

Of course, this is all what customary law dictates for a marriage inside the clan. Not only are the family matriarchs usually the real (though not legal) power behind match-making, cross-clan marriages are a more complicated affair where both clan chiefs are involved in settling the issue of kinship obligations in the event of tribal war - either between the two clans or between one and a third party.

This is all separate from the institution of concubinage for people captured from raids, but that's nothing resembling marriage and children born from concubines are only legally entitled to a small sum of coin as an inheritance.

>> No.48698406


>> No.48702274

You're right, remove the foot bit from >>48694780
Willing to wash her whole body though, it's just weird to focus on the feet

>> No.48704562

Are you a man enough dude to beat her ass so she'd consider sexual relations with your unworthy self?

>> No.48704742


>> No.48704816

> garbage meme fetish.
You don't know what half of those words mean, do you?

>> No.48706553

>Gogo posting

>> No.48706740

Too gay for me

>> No.48706756

benis in vagina XDD

>> No.48706774

benis in buttehole

>> No.48706965


>> No.48707386

>it's just weird to focus on the feet
Would you believe me if I told you I'm not a footfag? If you combine this with the fact that Garden of Words is my favorite animated movie and I think Hestia is a cutie it becomes really unbelievable, but it's cute.

I singled out the feet because after a long day of running and jumping around, they tend to hurt the most (unless you ended up with some serious non-foot related wound). Also notice that unlike a real footfag, I don't go straight for a massage. I go for washing first precisely because feet are pretty disgusting.

Not that there's anything wrong with washing the rest of her body too. Well, other than the broken pelvis it results in.

>> No.48707405

>But it's cute
But it's TRUE.

>> No.48707505


>> No.48707541

>Garden of Words
I have no idea what that is

>> No.48707627 [SPOILER] 

It's a pretty good, 45 minute long short film about the a young, aspiring shoemaker and an older woman regularly meeting in a park. Pretty cute, I cried buckets.

It also has this scene though, which led a lot of people to condemn it as a footfag film.

>> No.48707781

Pretty much correct. The Romans loved Greek culture.

Caesar is often credited with saying "the die is cast" before crossing the Rubicon. Some people translate that for authenticity into Latin as "alea iacta est", but that's not what he said either. He was quoting a Greek play.

Fucking Greekaboos.

>> No.48709045

...I can see why they'd get that impression

>> No.48709173

If 38 seconds of foot measurement makes it a footfag film, what does that make Monogatari series?

>> No.48709433

This makes having your teeth brushed look like it feels really pleasant.

>> No.48709526

Jesus fucking Christ... Is this for real or some sort of joke or parody or anything else?!

>> No.48709529

It's better with audio

>> No.48709576


>> No.48709620


>> No.48711412

thread necromancy go!

>> No.48711470

Wow, what a desperate /d/ouchebag.

>> No.48711486


>> No.48711593

At this point I'm pretty sure the same guy who's responsible for 99% of BadWrongFun complaints is also the same guy who's responsible for 99% of the bumps those threads get when they're almost dead

>> No.48711723

>Barbarian men just want to fuck each other in their warbands and not deal with women and are often not home off on war parties and raids.

>Most barbarian women have to take it upon themselves to keep the population from declining by kidnapping and forcibly subjugating men of nearby villages.

>> No.48711730

He hates it, but he needs it.

>> No.48712050

>no discernible separation
yea she's fat m8

>> No.48712189

>How do barbarians mate
Oh for fuck's sake.
When the boy barbarian likes girl barbarian very, very much.. you know what, we'll get there when you're older.

>get married
They're barbarians, they don't really get married.

>> No.48712255

Cute narrative. Got any proof?

>> No.48712341

Everquest wants to have a word with you faggot.

>> No.48713368


>> No.48713491

>They target qt boys
>qt boys that are often gay
>And so are the next generation of males
And the cycle continues

>> No.48713534

Nothing concrete, but I've noticed they always use the name 'Anonymous'

>> No.48713746

Where do you anons go for your barbarian femdom needs?

Aside from pic related of course

>> No.48714925

/tg/ art threads

>> No.48715294 [DELETED] 

This bread talks about this bread

>> No.48715324

Could you please give me the name of this doujin? Google search brought up a few links, but they are in japanese and the auto translator brings no helpful results.

Have an image. Heroes of Might and Magic Barbarian.

>> No.48715373

rape and kidnap.

How else?

>> No.48715485

How about one that isn't All Corruption All the Time?

>> No.48717314

The normal way? Just because they're primitive doesn't mean they're uncivilized rape machines.

>> No.48718081

Who said anything about rape?
Oh, right - you did. Guess the tongue always turns to the aching tooth

>> No.48718224

Cam: Have you ever had crazy before?
Tachanka: N-nyet
Cam: Well, you're about to. *zip*

>> No.48718260


It's been theorized that the genetic coding for gay males ends up boosting fertility if a female has it. So they're perhaps indirectly or purposefully selecting for high fertility female genes, should it turn out to be true.

>> No.48719500

Ore x Yome.

>> No.48722546


>> No.48722579

The sisters of gay men are genetically programmed to be slutty baby mamas. So if you want to breed a lot, get a gay friend and date his slutty sister.

>> No.48722767

>sluts are just gay men born to the wrong sex
I feel like I'm right on the edge of realizing something profound.

>> No.48722968

I would confirm this with this one chick who's brother I knew sort of but she got chlamydia in like high school or some shit and didn't know and it went up deep inside her and after she got treatment for it, she was sterile. And she was still sterile at 27 when she told me that Frozen sucks and she'd rather get fucked in the ass until I want to cum on her tongue. I miss her sometimes.

>> No.48723143

Sounds fun to be around

>> No.48723441

She sure sounds like the kind of girl you can bring home to meet your parents.

>> No.48725149

Frozen was alright though.

>> No.48727790

What happened?

>> No.48727924

...the fuck did I just watch?

>> No.48728018

Disturbingly rapey pedo weebshit

Thanks for so creepy, Japan!

>> No.48728047


>> No.48728343

This is what you get for dropping two nukes on a country, burger

>> No.48730002

Die, freak.

>> No.48732076

But that anon has best tastes

>> No.48732503

If you like eating shit, maybe

>> No.48735127

Thank you. Have a relevant picture.

>Pic related my reaction to the doujin and this thread in general

>> No.48735436

>only six chapters translated since 2011

god fucking damn it

>> No.48736074

That's what you get for being a cuck

>> No.48736150

Each story is only 3 chapters long isn't it? Which is kinda of a bummer since I want to see more of the pair

>> No.48737684

>How do barbarians mate
Well, when a mummy barbarian and a daddy barbarian love each other very much...

>> No.48737966

Depends on by whose defintion of what a barbarian is we're talking about, and then which ethnic group, and even then, which specific tribe.

>> No.48739522

What is this love you speak of

>> No.48740945

>mummy barbarian
I'm getting a slightly different image in my head than intended

>> No.48741745

>>48739522 has a point, it's when two barbarians fall in lust
Or one barbarian and a frail looking fuckboi

>> No.48742013

>frail looking fuckboi

>> No.48742066


>> No.48742538


>> No.48742580

>how do barbarians mate
They get drunk and fuck? Jesus, have you never met a 20-something college douche?

>> No.48743097

>Paladin don't erupt in a fit of overprotective rage when another woman so much as looks at you

>this is what tsundere fans actually want

>> No.48743809


>> No.48745512

That's part of tsundere but not necessarily tsundere

>> No.48745906


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