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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.48071328 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Your party has made it's way to the BBEG's lair/throne/castle/mcguffin.

You confront the evil mastermind/monster/ruler/mcguffin, and initiate a bloody brawl.

As you roll to hit, you score a Nat 20. You confirm the crit. What one-liner does your character throw out, /tg/?

>You're wide open!

>> No.48071352

>>48071328

>Give the devil my regards.

>> No.48071361

succ

>> No.48071369

>>48071328
>DEUS VULT!

>> No.48071370

I'm playing a dragonborn private investigator.

So probably something really gay and stupid, because I'm bad.

>> No.48071379

>Before I kill you, I must tell you- wait, he's dead already? Fuck.

>> No.48071393

>>48071328
>pssh, nothing personnel, kid.

>> No.48071527

>>48071328
>"Hungry for Fist?"

>> No.48071591

>Get on the Hydra's back!

>> No.48071614

>>48071328

SERVES YA RIGHT YA FUCKIN TWAT

DOES THIS LAIR HAVE WIFI I THINK ITALY V SPAIN IS UP ON THE WORLD CUP

>> No.48071669

>>48071328
>You know how much I like wailing on your undead ass?
>A skele-ton.
Then get booed out of the room

>> No.48071690

>>48071328
"No, mister president. I expect you to die."

>> No.48071707

>>48071328
(to a beholder)
>Behold MY FIIIIIST

>> No.48071718

>>48071328
>He's out faster than a PF sourcebook.

>> No.48071728

>>48071328
>confirming crits

>> No.48071752

>>48071328
>Paladin? More like PalaDIDN'TSEETHISCOMING!
Then punch him again

>> No.48071769

>>48071328
>"What's that? I didn't hear you over the sound of you choking on your own spine."

>> No.48071770

"Lannisters send their regards,"

As hilariously I am currently playing a Banner of House Lannister.

>> No.48071772

>>48071328
"Dasvidaniya!"
(Afterwards, to teammates) "...in case you didn't know, that's TWO vidaniyas."

>> No.48071803

>>48071328
>Let me introduce you to Sir Fist, of house Your Mouth.

>> No.48071820

S-sorry...

>> No.48071825

>>48071328
>"And this time? Stay dead."

>> No.48071839

>>48071328
Hey Bard! Make sure you get this part in the song!

>> No.48071854

>>48071328
>"Lose 2d8 points of Teeth."

>> No.48071884

>>48071328
>"Death is but a dice roll away, and you're shit out of luck."

>> No.48072088

>How many more gold teeth do you have?

>> No.48072151

Die! You fucking gay baby!

>> No.48072173

>>48071328

I'mma turn yer' balls 'ta guacamole!

...It was the best I could do on short notice.

>> No.48072178

>>48071328
HOLY FUCK I HIT SOMETHING

>> No.48072266

The fist is a way to communicate. And right now, my fist is saying it doesn't like you!

>> No.48072509

>>48072178
>level 1 adventures in a low-mid power campaign

Your words ring with the wisdom of a thousand sages, anon.

>> No.48072635

I DID IT

>> No.48072642

>>48071328

CRIMES ARE ILLEGAL FUCKO!

>> No.48072711

remember to pick up your teeth on the way out ya twat!

>> No.48072749

>>48071328
>Uses Temptation
"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?" *wink*

>> No.48072767

>>48071328
He doesn't throw out a one liner because he's not a massive fucking tool.

>> No.48072773

>>48072767
>not being a massive tool
seriously why even adventure

>> No.48072794

>Pokes buddy next to me, "Hey bud, can I borrow your dice?"

>> No.48072818

>>48071328
YOU ARE HUGE, AND THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS!
>after
Whoa, man, he DID have huge guts.

>> No.48072860

>>48071328
Third one down. Now, next...

>> No.48072873

>>48071772
you rip off doc doofenshmirtz, and dont even spell the word right. Englishy right, i mean.

>> No.48072887

>>48071328
Pic related.

>> No.48072897

"h-holy shit"

>> No.48072992

>>48071328
>Taste my jizz!

>> No.48073043

>>48071361

Underrated Post

>> No.48073062

Why bother? He's not gonna die in one shot anyway.

>> No.48073065

>>48071328
The classic of classics.

>> No.48073078

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNS4t5UCBfI

Because I am playing a Sith.

>> No.48073119

Welcome to flavor town.

>> No.48073140

the light is with me!

>> No.48073188

>>48071328
>FOR THE EMPEROR
>EMPEROR GUIDE MY HAND
>EMPERAAAGH
Hey, it's not easy to be witty in the heat of battle, and Space Marines aren't known for their creativity.
>FAULT!

>> No.48073311

>DIPLOMACY IS STILL AN OPTION

>> No.48073323

WE MUST DISSENT!

>> No.48073340

>>48071328
>drops the BBEG
[Pic Related]

>> No.48073351

>>48071614
It's the euros you mong

>> No.48073359

>I can now see why you like these suits so much
This happened in my last session on Eclipse Phase after the chasing the BBEG down to earth after finally taking care of all of his known backups

>> No.48073367

>>48071728
this

>> No.48074903

>>48071328
Huyan a tu madre, culero!

>> No.48074950

>>48071328
"Yep. I think... I'm pretty strong."

>> No.48075009

>>48071328

>playing 4e
>start to give witty one-liner
>opens you up to 20 reactions and 500,000 damage

>> No.48075018

>>48071328
>"I am death for you."

>> No.48075031

>>48071707
>"My fist is beauty: it's in the eye of the beholder!"

>> No.48075353

>I cast fist!

>> No.48075640

>>48071728
>>48073367
I think OP may be referring to the option of rolling 3 Nat 20's in a row, being a confirmed kill.

>> No.48075710

We are Done here.

Or in the case of our current BBEG who is all about dem enchantment spells and has tried a few times to contain/mind rape him
>I CANNOT BE CONTAINED

>> No.48075746

>>48075009
>play 2e
>Your one liner is an action, you can't do it this turn since you both moved and attacked.

>> No.48075756

>>48071328
>One liner
>Not dependent on the situation

>> No.48075810

>>48071328
>Pick a god and pray

>> No.48076232

>Sieg Heil!

Playing an ex-nazi warforged who gets flashbacks during battle.

>> No.48076239

>Petals must fall.

>> No.48076325

>Uhh.. Dammit! I had something for this!

>> No.48076349

>>48071328
Nothing. My character is mute. He just stares into their eyes to watch the light fade . . . Annnnnd to eat their soul. The rest of the party just thinks he's a creepy fuck.

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BkgMbU-we1o

For reference. Yes I played this out in a game, except the other guys started giving me grip technique tips.

>> No.48076372

>it's just been revoked

One of the guys at my table says this after killing any significant enemy. So I'm hoping I can kill the BBEG and steal his line from him.

>> No.48076378

OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU

>> No.48076523

*frt*
I punch him so hard, I poop a little in the process.
Thus the legend is born
Dumpy Britches
Professional Shit Kicker

>> No.48076528

>I CAST FIST!

>> No.48076888

EN GARDE, VILLAIN!

>> No.48076932

>>48073140

>> No.48076951

>>48076888

>> No.48076968

>>48071328
>What one-liner does your character throw out, /tg/?
"...Actually, I'm not left-handed" while wielding the sword in his left hand.

>> No.48077202

>>48071328
SWORD! MEET! EVIIIIL!

>> No.48077591

>>48071328
>My my, you're a cheeky one!

>> No.48077833

>>48071328
>WELCOME TO DIE

>> No.48077837

>>48071328
>While continuing to hit the corpse
>"Give me back my world! Give me back my life! Give me back my family! Give it all back!"
>tfw character realizes killing the BBEG didn't solve a single damn problem they had or undid any of the personal damage the BBEG inflicted on them.

Actually this is paraphrased of a character of mine saying this on behalf of his girlfriend.

>> No.48078037

>>48071328
TO THE VOID WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.48078052

>>48073351
I love you anon

>> No.48078105

>>48071328
>01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110100 01110101 01110010 01101110 00101110

No, I'm not posting in binary just to be obnoxious. I speak binary.

>> No.48078162

Nothing.

The BBEG and their minions/proxies have killed the entire party, one by one, through the numerous sessions we've had, except me. My character started off pretty cheerful. He's angry now.

I killed his right-hand-(wo)man without engaging in diatribe. The other players' new characters are wary of mine. I've drifted away from the Good alignment after taking more 'pragmatic' routes to solving problems.

Perhaps it's edgy. Perhaps it's character development. Whatever.

Also I, as a player, am nowhere near badass enough to think up something worthwhile on the spot.

>> No.48078184

>>48071328
>I expected more.

>> No.48078225

>>48071328
"Burn to ashes in the kiln of my wrath."

>> No.48078351

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xiE5toX9VOE
Pretty much any of the non-elvish domination lines will do

>> No.48078635

>>48071328
>Sleep Well

>> No.48078683

>>48071328
Nothing. Possibly
>FIRE!
Never monologue. One-liners are delivered after making sure they're dead.
Last time somebody monologued, a daemon appeared, so that's a no-go.

>> No.48078774

>>48071328
Get the FUCK out of my dimension!
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM_XkoLeXew

>> No.48081319

>>48076239
My diseased brother.

>> No.48081348

>>48071328
Pick a god and pray!

>> No.48081407

>>48081348
I actually used this one killing a boss once. By far best crit line in the game.

>> No.48081727

The one character I've actually played was a huge nerd for ancient rome. She'd probably quote Caesar:

The die is cast.

>> No.48081787

>>48071328
>GOMU GOMU NOOO...

>> No.48081789

>> No.48081884

>>48078683
As a GM, I almost always let players monologue if they want.

>> No.48082515

No refunds.

>> No.48082773

>>48071328
"You could have surrendered."

>> No.48082780 [DELETED] 

>>48071328
"Do you see what we're capable of now? You still have time to reconsider. Step down before it's too late."

>> No.48082836

"I'll give you one last chance. RUN!!"

>> No.48082846

>>48071328
Draw!

>> No.48082884

SPAGHET

>> No.48082916

>>48071328
All sales final!

>> No.48082939

"I look at you and all I see is a wad of cash."
"That can't be good."

>> No.48084084

This happened last session

My party was fighting a pretty gold dragon, and the motherfucker was just refusing to die. I'm a druid, and the other guys are two fighters and a monk. They're just laying into the fucker and I'm standing in the back summoning all manner of creatures, one being a huge earth elemental. The monk finally beats the dragon's face in with a final flurry of blows while he was riding on top of it, and it comes crashing down from the sky. We're all patting each other on the backs, and the DM wanted to wrap up the battle, but I quickly interrupted and said "wait, my earth elemental does one more thing before he disappears." So my elemental walks up to the dragon and says in Terran "Do you know what my favorite drink is?" He raises one arm in the air and says "Dragon on the rocks" and he slams the dragon with a final blow before going back to wherever I summoned him from. Wasn't a great one-liner, but we had a good laugh about it.

>pic related our monk

>> No.48084489

>Under his breath
"Oh god, now they're going to think i've been holding back this entire time, aren't they?"

>> No.48084635

"take barely more damage but remain basically unharmed because crits actually don't matter till you're dead!"

>> No.48084756

>>48071328

Fuck you!

>> No.48084777

>>48084084
>D&D monk
>hitting anything
>being relevant
Why would anyone lie on the Internet?

>> No.48084790

>>48071328
Is there anything else?

>> No.48084983

>>48081348
This is a good one.

>> No.48085160

>>48084777
You'd think so, trips-anon, however there's one change that the DM okay'd that made the monk actually hit things (and hit them hard). He's a half-giant monk. So when he flurries, it quite literally does 1d-asston of damage.

>pic related our party

>> No.48085165

If you don't stop what you're doing, I'm gonna hit you some more.

I'm not particularly clever

>> No.48085239

YASHASUIIN

>> No.48085546

>>48085160
>LA +1 race that only gives you +2 str but - 2 to dex
So he actually is worse than a human monk and still hits things? Stop lying

>> No.48087702

>>48085546
>assuming it's 3.5
but why

>> No.48087711

>>48084777
AD&D and PF Unchained Monks are both fucking deadly.

>> No.48087728

>IT'S OVER!

>>
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