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[ERROR] No.47778691 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress because the universe of Gamindustri is a sick sunnovabitch. The less said about that, the better.

As a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, you're no stranger to booze or inebriation. Hell, you're reasonably sure that's why monsters always delight in ripping your minions open: your average dwarf's blood alcohol content is high enough to get anyone rip-roaring drunk from fumes alone.

Thing is, you're not very familiar with the /effects/ of getting drunk, 'cause the amount of booze required to make you black out is about the same amount required to kill you by alcohol poisoning. You've never had to develop weird folksy remedies against hangovers, like using xdog hairx or resorting to drinking water. Why would you? You're always either 1) detrimentally sober, 2) sufficiently boozed up, or 3) dead from alcohol poisoning.

So when you DO see someone passed out from too much booze, it's always a little disquieting. It's like being able to see /both/ possible statuses of Schrodinger's cat happening at the same time, and then the damn beast adds a previously unknowable gray area between dead and alive.

So yeah, Compa's somewhere between "sufficiently boozed up" and "has too much booze and may or may not die," and you can't fucking tell where she is on that sliding scale. Doesn't help that the idiot interpreted "yes, you can drink this" as "drink the whole goddamned flask, do it now."

(Cont.)

>> No.47778706

>>47778691
You stare at the pink-haired girl for just long enough to note that she IS breathing, and SEEMS healthy enough. Just to be sure, you whip out your Diagnostician skill- which doesn't really help, because it helpfully informs you that she is unconscious.

... right. This is a job for someone else.

>[X] [WALK THROUGH BASILICOM]

For a moment, you debate knocking up a sign or miniature fortress around Compa, but ultimately decide against either. First, you're not sure how the hell you'd phrase something like that; "Do Not Disturb, Piss Drunk" probably wouldn't help. Second, knocking up ANY indestructible structure without you there to operate any doors, drawbridges, or levers seems like a good way to accidentally atom-smash some poor bastard.

Leaving the nurse-ish girl where she is- slumped in a chair, hugging that giant syringe like one of those body pillows- you jog through the Planeptune Basilicom, looking for someone you can fob this off to. Almost immediately, you find IF and Neptune. More specifically, you /hear/ IF; she's in the middle of chewing out the goddess of all things Sega.

(Cont.)

>> No.47778722

>>47778706
You creep up to the open door, keeping out of sight. On the plus side, IF doesn't sound /that/ angry; all that stuff she's saying about power, responsibility, and the importance of not disappearing without a trace seems like a well-rehearsed speech at this point, although it's interspersed by the occasional "sign this" and "no, you can't have a pudding yet."

On the other hand, you... you don't know how long IF's good mood'll last when you up and tell her that you got her good friend rip-roaring drunk, especially since she was meant to watch over you and make sure you don't do shitty things. Like getting people rip-roaring drunk so you can sneak away.

... well, you either gotta tread carefully, or run really really fast.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING
[ ] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.
[ ] [PREPARE TO FLEE] Tell IF that Compa's rip-roaring drunk and needs assistance, and get ready to run like hell. /Technically/, it's not your fault, and you've got better things to be doing than suffering wiht Neptune.
[ ] [LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE] Because there have to be more than, like, two other named characters in the entire goddamned Planeptune Basilicom, and you're willing to take your chances with one of Neptune's other hypothetical friends.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.47778733

>>47778722
>[ ] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.

Don't be a pussy

>> No.47778762

>>47778691
Thread move to another d--- wait, what!

>> No.47778767

>>47778722
>[x] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.
>[x]Remember to apologize while pointing out that it really wasn't your fault.

Is... is this real? Is this an actual thread?!

>> No.47778768

>>47778722
>[ ] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.

Good to have you back, Blorp!

>> No.47778779

>>47778722
>[ ] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.

We know trantrums and fell moods, for Urist is the personification of Dwarf Fortress.

>> No.47778781

>>47778722
>[X] [PREPARE TO FLEE] Tell IF that Compa's rip-roaring drunk and needs assistance, and get ready to run like hell. /Technically/, it's not your fault, and you've got better things to be doing than suffering wiht Neptune.

If Blorp had a superpower, it would be super-postponement. Which, come to think of it, would be a pretty useful power, if it was widely-applicable. Postpone your bills, your pain, your failures and even your death. Just remember you can't postpone things forever.

>> No.47778783

>>47778722
>[ ] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.

Dwarven boozing is a frightful gift

>> No.47778791

>>47778722
>[ ] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.
Not our fault she had no sense about liquor. Let's be indignant about it.

>> No.47778808

>>47778706
>pink-haired

Ähem, wasn't Compa orangeish haired?

>> No.47778810

>>47778722
Haha, I've made it.
>FESS UP

>> No.47778824

>>47778781
>Just remember you can't postpone things forever.

That sounds like quitter talk. Are you a quitter?

>> No.47778831

>>47778691
The best remedy against hangovers is a triple combination of some booze(dulls the pain), aspirin(ditto) and a bacon sandwich(makes the pain go away faster).

>> No.47778845

>>47778722
>[x] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.
Compa's just winding down a bit, nothing to worry about.

>> No.47778875

>>47778722
>[X] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.

>> No.47778892

>>47778831
I would deny that and would instead bring out a good old german remedie: Rollmops.
It has enough nutrients and fluids to make up what you lost and make the pain go away.

And never drink more alkohol. So long as you do not have alkohol poisoning, more alk is the least what you want to have. (With poisoning, it is needed to bind the more poisonous stuff into less poisonous stuff.)

>> No.47778907

>>47778722
>[x] [FESS UP] Just tell IF straight up that someone oughta look after Compa, and prepare to stand your ground. That's more important than worrying about pulling your own ass out of the fire.

>> No.47778914

>>47778722
>[ ] [LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE] Because there have to be more than, like, two other named characters in the entire goddamned Planeptune Basilicom, and you're willing to take your chances with one of Neptune's other hypothetical friends.

>> No.47778933

Wait, I thought the thread was in twelve days

>> No.47778949

>>47778722
>[ ] [LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE] Because there have to be more than, like, two other named characters in the entire goddamned Planeptune Basilicom, and you're willing to take your chances with one of Neptune's other hypothetical friends.
We need someone who doesn't sound like a noble.

>> No.47778958

Alright, looks like [FESS UP] more or less sweeps this vote; writing!

Also, I would retort to all this incredulity, but I have nothing to defend myself with. Glad to be back, though!

>>47778808
...... actually, I've been staring at her picture for the past five minutes and keep coming back inconclusive. I honestly cannot tell.

Either I've just discovered a slight colorblindness (which is entirely possible, since my father has it bad) or her hair is some strange murky realm between orange and pink.

>> No.47778972

>>47778958
light orange

>> No.47778980

>>47778933
Don't worry, I also got confused in the beginning with the nonsensical structuring of dates as M/D/Y that the english talker use instead of the more logical D/M/Y.

>> No.47778981

>>47778958
>or her hair is some strange murky realm between orange and pink.
I can confirm.

>> No.47778982

>>47778706
> [] DRIVE BY CONFESSION

Why wait to flee when we can shout the information out to IF and Neptune while travelling at an appreciable speed past them? Then they have to choose whether to chase us or check on Compa, weighted by the limited information we gave them?

>> No.47778987

>>47778958
Just popping in to say I love you and everything you do Blorp!

>> No.47778992

>>47778958
It's sort of a light strawberry blonde?

>> No.47778997

>>47778958

>> No.47778998

>>47778982
>while travelling at an appreciable speed
On a minecart?

>> No.47779007

>>47778958
Looks like a peach color to me m8.

We have our top artists debating on the color of a peach. So far their results seem incomprehensible to any other than Yoko Ono. We need help.

>> No.47779010

>>47778980
No, I was just joking about delays

>> No.47779011

>>47778958
The barest hints of pink, but basically orangish blond

>> No.47779017

>>47778958
Peach-colored.

>> No.47779019

>>47778997
Don't remind me of E3, I'm still recovering. Everything is horrible.

>> No.47779036

It's clearly octarine

>> No.47779041

>>47779019
I will keep reminding you.

>> No.47779046

>>47779019
What happened at E3?

>> No.47779076

>>47779041
Was it really that bad?
Hope this will make the pain better.

>> No.47779085

>>47778972
>>47778981
>>47778992
>>47779007
>>47779011
>>47779017
>>47779036
Light strawberry pink orangecterine it is, then. Compa's hair is cut from the very fabric of unreality itself, causing all who gaze upon it to collapse into gibbering madness.

Just kidding! It's the "desu"s that drive people mad.

>> No.47779090

>>47779076

>> No.47779110

>>47779046
>EA: SPORTS SPORTS SPORRRTS
>Bethesda: fallout Dlc, doom, and unreal tournament anyone?

Fuck if I know anything after that I stopped watching after Bethesdas conference

>> No.47779111

>>47779076
What the hell am I looking at, finnish sushi?

>> No.47779118

>>47779085
Or it could just be a gradient from top to bottom.

>> No.47779133

>>47779110
So nothing new then?
Alright i got Total warhammer so im good

>> No.47779145

>>47779111
It is a german dish.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollmops

>> No.47779146

>>47779118
Naaaaaaahhhhhhh there's nooooooo wayyyyyyyy that's true you'd have to be maaaad

>> No.47779148

what in the fucking hell happened at the xbone and sony conferences? I've been busy all day

>> No.47779200

As long as it isn't about an announcement that Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo and Sega ahve decided to work together and bring out a console together, it couldn't be anything really important.

>> No.47779227

>>47779148
literally nothing, just them talking bout rehashes and shit people already knew about, be, theres kojimas new game, the new zelda, and the new pokemon, also new god of War and Call of dog, infinite dogfare.

>> No.47779239

I haven't been actively watching it, but I've heard it's the yearly "Microsoft tries SUPER HARD, Sony one ups them, Nintendo just has cool stuff."

>> No.47779297 [DELETED] 

>>47779239
>"Microsoft tries SUPER HARD, Sony one ups them, Nintendo just has cool stuff."

Translated: Microsoft tries to transfer their experience in making decent Computer Os into console land, Sony shows it experience in corporate espionage and skullduggery and Nintendo shows its Experience in making and maintaining consols.

>> No.47779326

>>47779297
Don't you mean
Nintendo shows its Experience in making and maintaining fanboys

>> No.47779344

>>47779326
Isn#t taht one and the same for Consoles?

>> No.47779362

>>47779344
No, consoles are hardware while fanboys are some sort of shroom

>> No.47779364

>> No.47779378

>>47779239
>Microsoft tries SUPER HARD, Sony one ups them, Nintendo flips a coin, heads=IT PRINTS MONEY, tails=star fox zero.
FIFTY

>> No.47779413

>>47779090
Why is Noire directing an orchestra naked?

>> No.47779444

>>47779413
Because she's worst girl.

>> No.47779455

>>47779413
Cause sony has no shame

>> No.47779465

HIGHEST QUALITY PIXELS

>> No.47779475

>>47779413
Reference to the Kojima's new game "Death Stranding" trailer, I wager from the hand prints.

>> No.47779492

>>47779239
If my reports are accurate:
Vert reveals a XBOne S, which is capable of 4K 60fps.
Noire panics, doesn't show hardware.
Blanc does nothing of note.
>Neptune

Plenty of vidya gayms, tho. God of War: Viking Edition, Call of Star Wars, some ICO thing and Dawn of War 3.

>> No.47779568

>>47779444
Wasting trips on b8? Low, man.

>> No.47779590

>>47779475
If he tried to push the exact same game before he was fired, than I can understand why they fired him.
It seems he wants to bring an unneccessary message hamfisted to the people who play on playstation.

In another words: Kojima is a Nobledwarf.

>> No.47779646

>>47779475
That was just weird?

What is this game supposed to even be about

>> No.47779656

>>47779646
>Kojima
Do you really want to ask that question?

>> No.47779708

>>47779646
Mix someone from "the Walking Dead", mysterious little human (Baby), Oil slick and dead sealife.
Now shake that around.
Voila. No matter what else is in the game, it is bound to have a hamfisted, over the top hyperbole message about the environment, mix in the known quirks of Kojima and there will be somewhere attractive young girls in little to no clothing and phylosophysing about human psychology whitch is more miss than hit.

Well, that is if he has gotten some things out of his system with the agmes he made before.

>> No.47779746

>>47778722
>[X] [DWARF UP AND FESS UP]

You snort. Yeah, no, you're not fleeing; you've taken your fair share of lumps from angry Gamindustri natives before. However bad IF's anger might get, it can't possibly be worse than Mojang's sorrowful disappointment (which you've only experienced once, but once was one time too many).

Deciding not to skulk any longer, you just sort of knock on the door frame. IF looks up with a frown. "Oh, it's you. Compa, why'd you bring-"

When it's clear that you're alone, though, /that's/ when you have Iffy's undivided attention. You watch her frown morph into a full-on suspicious glare; clearly an expression she's worn far too many times to count. "Where's Compa?" she asks, her voice promising imminent violence.

You open your mouth to reply, only for Neptune to poke her big fat head up and beat you to the punch. "Urist, did you introduce Compa to alcohol and convince her to drink too much?" she calls out.

"Neptune, don't be ridiculous," Iffy growls. "That sort of thing only happens in-"

"Comics, anime, and Gamindustri!" the goddess retorts.

IF sighs and turns back to pin you with a look and a raised eyebrow.

... nah, the Nep has it right. Except Compa convinced /herself/ to drink too much, and she's currently conked out outside Nepgear's hospital zone.

"Hospital /what/- ugh, forget it," Iffy groans, running a hand down her face. "Why would you even offer a drink to Compa? Who even carries that much alcohol on them?"

You're a /dwarf/, you snap back, and she only drank one measly flask! Look, it's not your fault there's no middle ground between "can hold all the liquor" and "gets drunk on fumes"!

"Aaah, whatever! I'll handle Compa. Don't cause any trouble, otherwise you're doing half of Neptune's paperwork." Iffy pushes past you distractedly, her trenchcoat's tails flaring behind her. "Neptune, keep an eye on her!"

"Roger that!" The purple-haired goddess chirrups, throwing a salute to IF's departing back.

(Cont.)

>> No.47779767

>>47779746
... and once IF's out of hearing range, Neptune stands up, stretches her arms over her head, and hops over to stand in front of you. "C'mon, Urist, I'll show you around!"

You do your best to channel IF and give Nep your best, deadpan stare. She just /told/ you guys to keep out of trouble.

"She didn't tell us to stay here! Stop being such a stick in the mud!" Neptune wails, clutching at your shoulder. "Save me from all this paperwork, even if it's just for a few minutes!"

She was working for all of five minutes!

"Five minutes is five minutes too long! I'm not a thinker, I'm a doer!" Neptune pouts, puffing her cheeks out. "At least help me with my work, so that I can finish it faster! That way, Iffy won't go on the warpath!"

You pinch the bridge of your nose, wishing for the relative peace and quiet of your own fortress. Sure, up in the void, you're in constant danger of getting absolutely destroyed in all sorts of horrible ways, but at least you wouldn't have to deal with Neptune all by yourself.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [TOUR OF THE BASILICOM] Let Neptune lead your around the damn place. To be perfectly honest, you're pretty curious about the place- and this way, you shouldn't have any problems if you bump into any other overzealous IF-types.
[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).
[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE] Yeah, nah, Neptune's on her own- you're taking a brisk stroll of the Basilicom by yourself, regardless of what Nep or IF says.
[ ] [NEP NEP NEP NEP] Keep Neptune company and make sure she doesn't get into trouble, but don't let her foist her work off on you. You've caused IF and Compa enough trouble as-is; might as well do what they say, for once.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.47779789

>>47779767
[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE] Yeah, nah, Neptune's on her own- you're taking a brisk stroll of the Basilicom by yourself, regardless of what Nep or IF says.

>> No.47779798

>>47779767
>[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).
>[ ] [WRITE-IN] Tinker with DFHack

It's time to train in Organizer. And possibly blow up Neptune's office.

>> No.47779799

>>47779767
>[ ] [TOUR OF THE BASILICOM] Let Neptune lead your around the damn place. To be perfectly honest, you're pretty curious about the place- and this way, you shouldn't have any problems if you bump into any other overzealous IF-types.

>> No.47779816

>>47779767
>[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).

We can only improve Nep. But make sure that Nep doesn't try to push the singning onto you. That she has to do herself, wven if her hands hurt.

>> No.47779827

>>47779767
>[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).
Paperwork can't be that devastating to a veteran dorf, right?

>> No.47779835

>>47779816
I half expect the work to be entirely signing things.

>> No.47779836

>>47779767
>[ ] [TOUR OF THE BASILICOM] Let Neptune lead your around the damn place. To be perfectly honest, you're pretty curious about the place- and this way, you shouldn't have any problems if you bump into any other overzealous IF-types.
Realistically there's about a 0% chance that this won't go horribly wrong, but at least this way they'll go wrong in a Neppy way rather than a dwarfy way so we won't get blamed for it.

>> No.47779840

>>47779767
>nope nope nope nooooooope

>> No.47779843

>>47779767
[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).

>> No.47779851

>>47779827
>Paperwork can't be that devastating to a veteran dorf, right?

The worst it can do, If I remember correctly, is make your behaviour Noble - like.

>> No.47779861

>>47779767
>[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).
IF is going to be impressed. Never before has this much paperwork actually ever been done in Planeptune. Ever.

>> No.47779865

>>47779767
[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).

Can we give out plans for construction of the "fuck the world" project involving lava?

>> No.47779868

>>47779767
.[ ] [NEP NEP NEP NEP] Keep Neptune company and make sure she doesn't get into trouble, but don't let her foist her work off on you. You've caused IF and Compa enough trouble as-is; might as well do what they say, for once.
Nepu

>> No.47779879

>>47779767
>[ ] [TOUR OF THE BASILICOM] Let Neptune lead your around the damn place. To be perfectly honest, you're pretty curious about the place- and this way, you shouldn't have any problems if you bump into any other overzealous IF-types.
Disregard the constabulary.

>> No.47779881

>>47779861
Until she realizes we've pinned in footnotes to every bill that clarify that in the event of irritating nobles, the solution is a magma bath.

>> No.47779897

>>47779798
>>47779881
All of these.

>> No.47779905

>>47779865
>Can we give out plans for construction of the "fuck the world" project involving lava?

If we could slip something like that between the whole paperwork, why not the permits to a piece of land where we can build a second dwarf fortress fortress. A colony of our fortress, so to speak. maybe with a two way portal in it between our two fortresses so that we doesn't need to go to a Basilicom the entire time?

>> No.47779913

>>47779767
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

Claim a table, set as office, activate record keeping and give Nep a lesson on paper pushing.

>> No.47779929

>>47779905
Only one fortress can exist in an inhabited state at a time, to make another you must abandon the first.

>> No.47779934

>>47779865
>Can we give out plans for construction of the "fuck the world" project involving lava?
I'd rather build a sock shotgun.

>> No.47779946

>>47779851
>The worst it can do, If I remember correctly, is make your behaviour Noble - like.

I think as long as Urist doesn't try to name her worplace things like "Cubeicel ONE" we are on the sane side.

>> No.47779957

>>47779767
>[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).

>> No.47779962

>>47779767
>>47779798
Seconding that.

Quite frankly, it would probably temper IF's anger to have her return and find out we pre-emptively did half Neptune's paperwork anyway. "You left us with Nep, of COURSE we were going to get in trouble!"

>> No.47779965

>>47779929
But the active one is in another dimension/world. I thing we could exploit something out of this.

>> No.47780000

>>47779767
[ ] [TOUR OF THE BASILICOM] Let Neptune lead your around the damn place. To be perfectly honest, you're pretty curious about the place- and this way, you shouldn't have any problems if you bump into any other overzealous IF-types.

>> No.47780024

>>47779965
DF is designed to be modified, nearly to the finest details.
I'm sure Urist has some tool to switch out active worlds.

>> No.47780050

>>47779965
>>47779929
>>47779905
guise guise guise, you're forgetting something. Do we really even WANT a plot of land in Planeptune?

>> No.47780056

>>47780050
What we want is a dozen or two new giant eggplant statues around.

>> No.47780064

Right, Urist is going to be a good samaritan and [HELP THE NEP]! And possibly attempt some foolhardy way of cutting corners. Writing!

Regarding the active number of fortresses: Urist is most likely limited to one active fort for now. There may be an upgrade that might change that, but it's also an open question as to whether that'll just drive her /crazier/.

>> No.47780065

>>47780024
Well, we have DFHack, DF Therapist and Full control of our selve... nope, no world swapping.

>> No.47780071

>>47779646
nuclear nanomachine weapons

>> No.47780110

>>47780050
Well we have a good opportunity to get one under everyones nose for free, If we are brave/idiotic enough.

>> No.47780127

>>47780071
So...... weaponized grey (black) goo?

>> No.47780213

>>47780050
I say Leanbox. Should be plenty of open land, Mojang can visit us easily, can probably could get land discounted to via Mojang + us being Vert little sister (having Nepgear visits probably could help too). And with Leanbox having a natural barrier (the ocean) between it and Planeptune, it's not nearly as easy for Neptune to want to make frequent visits herself and bother us.

>> No.47780255

>>47780213
>And with Leanbox having a natural barrier (the ocean) between it and Planeptune
aren't they like floating islanes or some shit
I don't even fuckin know

>> No.47780265

>>47780213
You forgot that she can fly, do you?

>> No.47780266

>>47780255
islands

>> No.47780284

>>47780255
Well, in the first HDN, yes, Afterwards more like Nations on a Pangean Continent + the Leanbox Island and some smaller Islands.

>> No.47780348

>>47780265
I mean yeah, but is she really going to want to fly all the way to our fort all the time?

...Just don't stock pudding in our fort or she'll never leave.

>>47780255
Basically this

>> No.47780382

>>47780265
> neptune
> putting in effort to do things
We'd be safe

>> No.47780437

>>47780382
Boredom can drive a nep to do mighty, terrible things for the purpose of goofing off and being annoying.

>> No.47780465

>>47780348
Man, I know that bottom left island is supposed to be a gamepad, but those two forests bulging off of it give it a very unfortunate shape.

>> No.47780497

>>47780465
yeah, I was gonna ask why that controller had testicles

>> No.47780509

>>47780465 >>47780497
Even officially, Neptunia world is Neptuina world.
It's not an accident.

>> No.47780511

>dorf quest

oh frabjous day

>> No.47780522

>>47780497
For the same reason that the Upgreaded CPU Candidate HardDrive - Divinity Costumes make them blush: fanservice.

>> No.47780549

>>47779767
>>[ ] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT] Fine! Fine. Your day-to-day life might as well be text-based, for all the menus you have to go through; a little paperwork won't kill you. Maybe you owe Neptune that much, given all that's happened (and all the times her powers pulled you out of danger).
>>[ ] [WRITE-IN] Tinker with DFHack

>> No.47780582

Hey Blorp, are you okay? 2016 is the most evilist year ever, please don't be next (internet) famous person to kick the bucket! The delays were bad news to me only because it meant you were still sick, so please be well!

>> No.47780636

>>47780582
I would counter that. I can't remember any special person died this year. (The last one was Christopher Lee...) And we have had a relatively good Videogame year so far.

>> No.47780669

>>47780636
Muhammad Ali not special enough for you?

>> No.47780678

>>47780636
Muhammad Ali, Prince, David Bowie, Alan Rickman

>> No.47780698

>>47780669
Well, for me he was just an US boxer.
A good integrated one, but that shouldn't be special.
The US shouldn't try so hard to make every little thing about them special.

>> No.47780710

>>47780698
He is widely regarded as one of the most significant and celebrated sports figures of the 20th century.

>> No.47780720

>>47780678
Prince and Bowie finally got their well earned rest.

Alan Rickman I had to search on Wikipedia.

>> No.47780728

>>47780720
What, you didn't watch Die Hard? That was a great movie. The best Christmas film.

>> No.47780745

>>47780710
I think we are aon an impasse: Something that you thing is one of the most important things in the world isn't as Important to me.

Or to Paraphrase M.Bison/Vega: "For you it was the day I killed your parents. For me, it was tuesday."

>> No.47780765

>>47780728
I watch movies. I do not remember every (or most of the time, any) of the actor names, except if they are really, really, really great and some kind of odd thing involved them while the movie was shot.

>> No.47780799

I like to picture the last few days as that thing where an injured dwarf tries to leave the hospital to do some task, but the hospital staff keep catching them and dragging them back to bed, and they eventually go insane. Congratulations on escaping, Blorp!

>> No.47780909

>>47779767
>[X] [HELP NEPTUNE OUT]

Y'know, while Iffy and Compa aren't exactly your /friends/, they're Neptune's friends. Not only do you not have any reason to make their lives harder, but the poor bastards seem to have their hands full dealing with Neptune.

Honestly, you can sympathize. The only difference between Neptune and your own nobles appears to be that Nep doesn't command things to be built out of her favorite materials, ignoring the question of whether those materials are actually /available/.

You're about to dislodge Neptune's grip from her shoulder and tell her to get back to work, but then you look into those big purple eyes and... hesitate. Bubbling up from within the murky depths of your chest is your conscience, and it speaks with a voice remarkably like Mojang's:

You technically owe Neptune your life.

Sure, it was her own damn fault that she popped her soul into your body, and /probably/ her fault that your minds got swapped for a while. And that whole Neptunization bullshit was horrifying. Still, that DID acclimate you to her powers before you got stuck in her body. And if not for Neptune's (or, okay, CPU Purple Heart's) powers, you would've gone up shit creek faster than you could've rowed the other way.

... the logic's all weird and circular, but even so. You scowl, kind of loathe to admit it, but Neptune hasn't been /that/ bad a friend so far.

Getting soft, that's what you are. Used to be that you were the one sane dwarf in a madcap world, a loose cannon moe personification who doesn't play by the rules- and all of a sudden, you've got what feels like a boatload of friends, and you're bending bit by bit to be an all-round nice girl.

You slip past Neptune, entering the office IF had appropriated for her use. No, Neptune, no wacky exploration hijinks or anything that'll piss off Iffy and come back to bite you in the asses.

"Awww, Uriiiiist-"

(Cont.)

>> No.47780930

>>47780909
- but you /will/ help her with this paperwork. You flip your braids back over your shoulder (where they land with enough force to thump you on the back, but you push on regardless) and huff. If Nepgear's gonna grow up here, then you'd damn well better work to give her better role models, right? Right. Now c'mon, let's-

"Aaaaah thank you thank you thank you!!" Neptune very nearly knocks you off your feet, grabbing you in a hug and/or chokehold and rubbing her cheek against your hair. You elect not to rip her arms off. "You're the first person who actually offered to help! My god, Urist, you're totally a cutie-patootie softy wrapped up in the guise of a tsun-"

Armok help you, if she finishes that fucking sentence-

"- dae! A chocolate hot-fudge and pudding sundae!" she finishes smoothly. "Which we'll have after we get this wrapped up! C'mon, let's go!"

You watch Neptune flounce off for a moment before claiming a table and throne for your own managerial use. ... well, this might've been worth it, if only because it'll totally benefit you in the end, or whatever. Besides, paperwork is easy: just sit at a table, channel your powers for a bit, and then you suddenly know every little detail about your fortress, down to the number of severed left toes sitting in the refuse stockpile. You're confident you can-

And that's when Neptune drops a four-foot tall stack of papers in front of you. "Great! Now that that's settled, I'll be over there, getting dessert foraaaAAAAGH KIDDING KIDDING KIDDING LEGGO I'M GONNA BREAK, EVERYTHING'S GONNA BREAK-"

You release the grip of your left elbow on Neptune's right toe, and the grip of your teeth on Neptune's right ear. Once you disengage your dwarven wrestling moves, euclidean reality reasserts itself (although you maintain that Gamindistri is totally being melodramatic), and Neptune picks up about half the stack of papers.

(Cont.)

>> No.47780948

>>47780930
"Uuuu~... it wouldn't have felt right without putting in a punchline at the end," she moans, plopping her papers down in the seat next to yours.

Fine, fine, let's just get this over with, okay?

Thirty seconds of nonproductive work later, you come to a frankly terrifying realization:

Sitting at a table as a manager noble and channeling your inner nothingness doesn't actually cause paperwork to do itself, as it does in Dwarf Fortress. You'll have to do actual work.

... you may have made a terrible mistake.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [DWARF UP AND DO IT] Stop moping and get cracking the old-fashioned way. A sore wrist and calloused fingers is preferable to everything being on fire.
[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.
[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.47780964

>>47780948
[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.

!FUN!

>> No.47780965

>>47780948
>[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.
>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.
What could possibly ever go wrong?

>> No.47780968

>>47780948
>[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.
>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.

Apply Noble directly to the goddess.

>> No.47780974

>>47780948
[TRY TO DFHACK]

Might as well give it a shot before buckling down to actually do stuff.

>> No.47780977

>>47780948
>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.

Time to run a nation, Nep-Nep! How hard could it be?

>> No.47780997

>>47780948
>[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.
>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.

What is the worst thing that could happen? (Temting fate leads to fun stuff.)

>> No.47781006

>>47780948
[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE]

As close to project "Fuck the World" we will every get to

>> No.47781009

>>47780582
Thanks, man! I'm okay, though- it wasn't TOO too serious, just some sort of respiratory viral thing that lingered long enough (even with antibiotics) that it started getting worrisome.

Should be okay now!

>>47780799
Man, the only hospital-related bug I remember is that one where, if you save and reload while someone's being treated in the hospital, all medical personnel forget his/her existence. So the poor bastard never gets treated and spends eternity on the operating table, even if s/he's fully recovered, unless you deconstruct the table while they're still on it.

In other words, uh, thanks!

>> No.47781011

>>47780948
>[ ] [DFHACK NEP TO NOBLE] Think about it. Neptune is basically nothingness anyway, right? If we can patch her to get paperwork done by just sitting down, all you have to do is teach her sitting at the right place gets her pudding. She's happy, everyone else get's work done, she's not breaking things in the name of adventure, and all her minions need to do is feed her pudding, which she makes them do anyway. Everybody wins! As long as you don't fuck this up.

>> No.47781012

>>47780948
>[ ] [DWARF UP AND DO IT] Stop moping and get cracking the old-fashioned way. A sore wrist and calloused fingers is preferable to everything being on fire.

>> No.47781016

a tsundae huh
would that be like a reverse sunday, with the fudge in the middle and the ice cream on the outside

>> No.47781023

>>47780948
>[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.
Teaching Nep to Noble WILL inevitably lead to her demanding statues of pudding, made of pudding.

>> No.47781030

>>47780948
>[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.
>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.

>> No.47781040

[X] [DWARF UP AND DO IT] Stop moping and get cracking the old-fashioned way. A sore wrist and calloused fingers is preferable to everything being on fire.
[X] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.

>> No.47781044

>>47780948
>[X] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.

I'm feeling lucky!

>> No.47781055

>>47780948
>[ ] [DWARF UP AND DO IT] Stop moping and get cracking the old-fashioned way. A sore wrist and calloused fingers is preferable to everything being on fire.

>> No.47781068

>>47780582
>>47780636
My grandma died a month ago and now my brother-in-law is in a permanent coma. 2016 confirmed for the deadliest year.

>> No.47781071

>>47780948
>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.
Combine absolute mayhem

>> No.47781073

>>47780948
>>[ ] [DFHACK NEP TO NOBLE] Think about it. Neptune is basically nothingness anyway, right? If we can patch her to get paperwork done by just sitting down, all you have to do is teach her sitting at the right place gets her pudding. She's happy, everyone else get's work done, she's not breaking things in the name of adventure, and all her minions need to do is feed her pudding, which she makes them do anyway. Everybody wins! As long as you don't fuck this up.

>> No.47781086

>>47781068
Well, shit.

For what anonymous words on the internet are worth, I'm really sorry to hear that, dude.

>> No.47781092

>>47781068
no one special

>> No.47781113

>>47781092
Statement: Well, at least no one special for the world if you have a greater perspective. For him, i think it is different.

>> No.47781125

>>47781016
No, it's cold on the outside with a warm hot fudge inside once you get past the icy exterior.

>> No.47781187

>>47781092

>> No.47781203

>>47780948
>[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.

>> No.47781211

>>47781009
>respiratory viral thing
>viral
>antibiotics
Well that might have been part of the problem. Hope you stay healthy for a long time.

>>47780948
>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE]

>> No.47781216

>>47780948
>>[ ] [TINKER WITH DFHACK] Because it'll be a piece of cake to apply Dwarf Fortress physics to your personal reading/sorting/paperwork abilities, and the applications of such power would be nothing short of amazing.
>>[ ] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE] Put aside your own paperwork for now and see if you can't get Nep to become more /efficient/. Iffy, Compa, and- in the long run- Nepgear will probably thank you, if you pull this off.

>> No.47781258

>all these people voting to combine DFHack with Nep
>all these people who want to watch the world burn

WRITING!

>> No.47781276

>>47781258
Didn't doing anything with DFhack meant, that we had to roll?

>> No.47781277

>>47781258
NONONO I ment doing BOTH of them not COMBINING them

>> No.47781279

>>47781258
Were you ever doubting us?

>> No.47781288

>>47781277
IT'S TOO LATE
THE RIDE HAS BEGUN

>> No.47781290

>>47781258
IF WE CANT DROWN THIS WORLD IN MAGMA

THEN WE WILL DROWN IT PUDDING

>> No.47781297

>>47781258
We would be poor dwarves if we didn't take pointlessly unneeded risks by trying to pull off overly complicated plans just to see if it's possible.

>> No.47781299

>>47781277
I think only 1 person wanted to combine Nep with the hack and anyone else and their grandparents want to do teach Nep how to Noble and at the same time tinker around with DFhack

>> No.47781303

>>47781258
>Neptune starts constantly demanding things made of pudding
Oh wait, that is just Neptune.

>> No.47781318

>>47781299
I originally just wanted to teach Nep to work the old-fashioned way, but this seems like too much !!FUN!! to pass up.

>> No.47781322

>>47781288
BUT I DONT WANT TO RIDE THIS TRAIN OF CHOICES.....fuck it

>> No.47781339

>>47781258
>>47781276
>>47781277
WELL, it's pretty much a tied vote, so I'll find some way to cludge these two options together; it's not necessarily DO DFHACK AT NEPTUNE AND CACKLE!

Probably.

Also, as astute anons have pointed out:

>Urist Twelfthbay uses the words "DFHack in proximity with the word "Neptune"!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
No DC or bonuses; the higher the better!

>> No.47781344

>>47781258

>> No.47781346

>>47781279
>>47781290
>>47781297

Nevermind. I think I starting to understand how Sanae had felt when she first went to Gensokyo.

>> No.47781360

Inb4 pudding exports are banned.

>> No.47781362

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>47781339
HWG

>> No.47781368

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>47781339

Og

>> No.47781371

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>47781339

>> No.47781372

>>47781290
OPERATION NEP THE WORLD

Leanbox has the RROD, so it's only fair for Planeptune to have it's own superweapon.

I wonder what Lastation and Lowee have...?

>> No.47781373

>>47781339
sure hope I did this right...

>> No.47781375

>>47781339

>> No.47781378

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>47781339
Nothing could possibly go wrong here!

>> No.47781379

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>47781339
Failure is always an option.

>> No.47781380

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>47781339

>> No.47781381

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>47781339

>> No.47781383

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>47781339

>> No.47781388

>>47781362
>>47781368
>>47781371
!!FUN!! incoming!

>> No.47781390

>>47781362
>>47781368
>>47781371
RIP

>> No.47781393

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>47781339

>> No.47781396

>>47781362
>>47781368
>>47781371

>>47781379


FUCK

>> No.47781397

>>47781362
>>47781368
>>47781371

>> No.47781399

writing

>> No.47781405

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>47781339
We're meddling with forces beyond our understanding!

>> No.47781436

Maybe we should start coming up with a defense for when IF comes back and sees what we've done.

>> No.47781450

>>47781399
>>47781339
>Taking the best of three!

Hey, come on. We waited until the fifth date announced for the thread. You could at least take up to the fifth roll.

>> No.47781452

Rolled 7 (1d100)

I am not a clever man

>> No.47781461

>>47781399

>> No.47781485

Has Blorp said if Ogre Civ Quest has a chance of coming back?

>> No.47781493

"Nep happened. We tried to help, everything went good at first, but then Nep happened. We were powerless to stop the supernatural magnet for anything bad called Neptune from doing what it does, despite our best efforts."
Along those lines I think.

>> No.47781597

it might not be too bad, when after I discovered the spear mastery glitch, all my fortresses had a legendary guard force.

And all I lost was a single fort to goblin invaders.

>> No.47781686

>>47781493
Yeah, just blame everything on Gamindustri's shoddy programming making our personal physics interact weirdly with other people's. This excuse works for pretty much anything, actually, since it's not like anyone can call us on it when no one else knows anything about them.

>> No.47781912

>>47781461
>>47781485

I miss Ogre Dice........

Ogre Quest itself can wait for howeverlong Blorp deems necessary, but I want the Ogre Dice back.

>> No.47781937

>>47781399
Urist twelthbay :10% moeized

>> No.47781939

>>47781461
Well, at least (always) lokk on the bright side (Of Life *whisteling*) of the dice: it wasn't a 1, so we will not have to one up the Icelander in "emergency" - dealing with lava.

>> No.47781966

>>47781939
Yeah we just get neptunized again (screams dwarfely)

>> No.47782003

>>47781966
yay! THIS IS DWARF GODDESS!

>> No.47782005

Did blorp die?

>> No.47782013

>>47782005
Nah, he just takes a little while to write.

>> No.47782021

>>47781937
I actually wonder what would happen if urist acted all moe cute gamindustri like for reasons

>> No.47782034

>>47782005
Given this year so far, launching a social media search campaign in 5 4 3 2...

>> No.47782052

>>47782021

>> No.47782053

The paper work became a forgotten beast didnt it.

>> No.47782118

>>47782034
Anon, do not overreact. I think even if Blorp would die, he would most likely to at least send a "Hnnngh" pic message.

>> No.47782157

>>47782052
Urist: "I WAS MOE TOO LONG!!"
Mojang: "No, Onee-san. Come back into the Manifold of M.O.E.dok."

>> No.47782169

>>47780948
>[X] [TEACH NEP TO NOBLE
>[X] [TINKER WITH DFHACK]
>27, 22, 7...............................
>welp
>WELP

... right. You nudge aside your stack of lengthy forms and fancy bureaucratic papers and top-secret dossiers and lean over toward Neptune's table. The purple-haired goddess works quietly, if not exactly quickly or in a dignified manner; sure, she's concentrating, but she's clutching her pen like a kid would a crayon, and her tongue's sticking out from the corner of her mouth.

As you watch, Neptune scrawls her signature on some sort of requisition form. Then, her mind clearly wandering, she slowly scrawls her signature on some bill or other. After a few more moments, she manages to half-write her signature on some OTHER government document before leaning back in her chair and-

Goddammit, it's all signatures, isn't it? You're starting to believe that's the entirety of her job at home.

"Aaaah, this is gonna take forever!" Neptune whines, yawning like she's just finished a ten hour marathon. "Let's take a break! C'mon, Urist-"

No. Iffy's gonna have a goddamn hernia, you growl, getting up to stand behind Neptune. And you're already on her shit list, you don't want to keep adding to it by not keeping the goddess in line. IF will tell you that you had /one job/, and she'll have a goddamn point.

"But it's boooriiiing!"

You anticipate her attempt to stand up, and clamp your hands on her shoulders so fast that her chair doesn't even have time to clatter. Look, it's not hard, it's just time-consuming! It'll go a lot faster if she just nuts up and signs all that shit-

Neptune sags in place, very nearly defeated. "At least teach me some ancient dwarven trick that'll help me get through all this faster!" she moans.

You open your mouth to shut her down- and freeze, the gears in your head turning.

Sensing weakness, Neptune latches onto that line of thought. "IF will totally thank you for upping my efficiency?" she hazards.

(Cont.)

>> No.47782185

>>47782169
... and that's how you come to be sitting across from Neptune, DFHack open in your mind's eye, and the goddess keeping still as she concentrates on the paperwork in front of her without lifting a finger.

Now, you're not dumb enough to use DFHack /on/ her- it's solely for your own benefit, because you want your paperwork-shifting clerk-style abilities back to convenient game mechanics level. But Neptune's a goddess with ridiculous mind-boggling powers, right? And you spent some time synced together, so she knows how you work, if only on the surface. So if she watches you, and /copies/ you, then maybe she can speed up her own paperwork-shifting abilities.

Worst comes to worst, the only victim of your DFHack-ing will be your dumb sorry self. See? You've thought this through, and you've cut down all the risks you can think of. There's only so many ways you guys can fuck up "monkey see, monkey do."

You close your eyes and activate DFHack, sifting through oodles and oodles of coding, creature tags, and all that other shit that you can't adequately explain through words alone. Even now, you can feel the program's tendrils trailing through the core of your being, anchoring your soul like tree roots protecting soil from erosion. Small fixes are scattered here and there, subtly boosting your reaction time and keeping yourself more stable than ever before.

Honestly, it's been a while since you've even poked through this thing, and you're not sure why you ever stopped.

You flip through until you reach those labors that appear to govern your managerial skills, everything that would make you a Manager or a Clerk if you maxed 'em out. It's not hard to see the limiters slapped across these particular skills, keeping them from unduly affecting Gamindustri's physics.

... and just like that, it's done. Fixes don't get any simpler than that; hell, it takes a shorter amount of time to strip those limiters off than it does to ID them in the first place.

(Cont.)

>> No.47782198

>>47782185
You open your eyes back up and daintily pick off the first three forms off the pile. You don't even bother touching them with your pen; instead, you cross your arms and glare at the papers. A few seconds later, they're done, having filled themselves out in that strange, murky space between nanoseconds.

"Whoa," Neptune murmurs, clapping her hands appreciatively. "That easy, huh?"

A grin stretches across your face, and you give her a shrug. Pretty much, yeah. Now it's her turn to give it a shot.

"Right!" The goddess rolls up her sleeves and breathes out, staring intently at the pile of paperwork in front of her. "Time attack, here we go...!"

You sigh as the papers in front of Neptune start filling themselves out, sheet by sheet and sheaf by sheaf, and shoot a quick glance at the nondescript clock on the nondescript wall in this nondescript room. That didn't take long. On the other hand, IF isn't back yet, so you drum your fingers on the table while you wait for Neptune to finish.

And you wait.

And you wait.

"I put Compa to bed, so- oh, you guys are still here." IF strolls into the room, looking pleasantly surprised- or, well, as much as she /can/. You get the feeling that she's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. "So? How's Nep- whoa."

You smirk at the way she stares in wonder at the pile of completed paperwork. "No way," Iffy murmurs, leafing through a sheaf. "What kind of miracle did you pull to make Neppy productive? Did you ruin the time-space continuum? Should I wait for pigs to fly?"

Not so much. You just taught her a few efficiency-boosting tricks, that's all.

"Hmm..." The brunette shakes her head in wonder. "I guess I can't complain. Anyway, good work, Neptune."

(Cont.)

>> No.47782217

>>47782198
I am getting paranoid...... oh crap, it will be an overflow error, won't it?

>> No.47782221

>>47782198
There's a moment of silence. Worry trickles down your spine and settles in your stomach, fluttering wildly.

Both you and IF immediately scoot around to look at Neptune's face. The goddess continues staring straight ahead, her back ramrod straight. Neptune's still got that faint ever-present smile, but it's less cheerful and more... vacant. Like she's not quite here anymore.

"... Neptune?" IF whispers, the color draining from her face. She doesn't even glare at you, let alone /look/ at you. "Come on, answer me."

What's she /doing/?

Neptune spares you a quick glance, her vacant smile widening into something dreamier. "I'm finishing it," she murmurs, her voice less lively and more detached than you've ever heard it before.

"Finishing what?"

"The paperwork," Neptune replies sweetly.

Distantly, you think you hear the sound of countless sheets of paper shuffling together, and pens scratching across parchment.

W... what paperwork?

"Planeptune's paperwork, silly." The personification of all things Sega blinks. For a moment, you swear you see, in her pupil, that... that /power/ symbol that the goddesses get, whenever they transform. "All of the paperwork that has ever been, and all of the paperwork that shall ever exist."

The sound of paperwork being filed fills your ears, blending together across time and space, steadily growing from an incessant rustling to a dull roar. The sheer volume of it nearly deafens you; not as one instantaneous blast, but as a steady trickle that threatens to overwhelm your senses.

"All the paperwork I never had time to sign, that I left to bureaucrats and clerks, that remained forgotten or rejected. All the paperwork from the past, and all the paperwork from the future that doesn't even exist yet. I just have to finish it all!"

(Cont.)

>> No.47782233

>>47782221
Oh fuck!
Hurry, distract her with pudding!

>> No.47782239

>>47782221
The Basilicom shudders beneath your feet. A distant THOOM catches your attention, and you glance out the window. The city- the ancient, dilapidated city, seems to shift before your eyes. A distant mossy hill, some ancient unfinished project long lost to ruin, explodes with a shower of dirt and stone; building materials shimmer into existence, configuring itself into a shining edifice as you watch in mounting worry.

"And then I won't ever have to do paperwork again!"

Iffy grabs you and slams you against the wall, pinning you by your wrists- you're too shocked to even react, let alone care. "We only ever gave Neptune, like, 10% of all our paperwork to fill out!" she wails, too terrified to even think of being mad. "I was kidding about that thing about the time-space continuum dammit! What did you DO!?"

You don't look Iffy in the eye. You're too busy staring past her at a goddess who doesn't even realize that she's drunk on power.

Would she believe that Nep happened?

You're interrupted by some guard clattering into the room. "Lady Neptune!" he shouts. He doesn't even look fazed by whatever the hell's happening, whichspeaks volumes about his message, Armok help you.

"She's indisposed at the moment," IF deadpans, turning to face the guard with the most put-upon expression possible. "What's the problem?"

The guard swallows heavily. "It's Lastation, Miss IF," he reports. "Um, I mean, CPU Black Heart. I mean... she's coming here."

Iffy's face twitches. "For the love of- /contact/ her. Tell her that Neptune isn't available, or-"

"Armed and at top speed," the guard continues weakly, cutting her off. "In full battle mode."

You look out the window again, at a cityscape rearranging itself as Neptune plays bloody havoc on every piece of paperwork ever to exist, and as she Neps time and space so hard that you can't even begin to imagine the repercussions.

You can't /possibly/ imagine what CPU Black Heart is so worked up about.

(TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD)

>> No.47782248

If you don't stop her, Planeptune will look like ISO 9000 from Earthworm Jim 2.

>> No.47782255

>>47782239

>> No.47782287

>>47782239
She just approved every Trumpish request of attacking/conquering the adjacent CPU nations, didn't she? That will be !fun!.

On the other hand: Tripple horido for the progenitor of one of the cutest wielder of ginormous guns. And I say that as a german, who do not like guns anymore.

(Also, I need more pics of Uni(ty))

>> No.47782288

>>47782239
Is it just me or are these threads getting shorter and shorter?

>> No.47782289

OKAY, it's getting pretty late on a weekday and i basically have to ditch a chunk of my notes, so we'll call it a night here!

Next thread will be sometime next week; I'll tentatively put it at WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22nd, at 9-ish pm EST. As always, updates will go to https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest; questions (which are backlogged, I'll get to 'em within the week) can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest.

Sorry for all the delays, guys; thanks for participating (and I mean it, I am the most alive when audience participation upends EVERY PLAN), and I hope y'all enjoyed the thread. Catch you next time!

>> No.47782299

>>47782289
Eagerly awaiting the next thread!

>> No.47782300

>>47782239
Are you saying we acidentally all the paperwork in our quest to make the nobs more efficient

and that somehow pissed off the tsun queen

>> No.47782312

>>47782289
So in 2 months time after you include the constant postponing? Or is it 3?

>> No.47782314

>>47782289
Bye Blorp and a good sleep from gemany. (BTW. for us you begin after 2 am and now it is 7:24 am.)

Yea, we will do that to make you feel bad until we have a personification of a good german game. Like Sacred 1/2 or Paraworld.

>> No.47782317

>>47782239
>All the paperwork I never had time to sign
Wait. Wait. Did we just retroactively both have projects spring into existence and also authorize wartime efforts?
There's no way to undo this! We can-. . .

Wait, we can salvage this! Remind her that those past documents unsigned included the Permanent Ban on Pudding for Neptune Act, and that she should restrict herself to documents Iffy gives her or she'll Ban pudding from all timelines!

>> No.47782347

>>47782239
Punch her. Punch her in the face right now. Invoke [Neptune cancels Bookkeeping: Attacked By Dwarf]
...You know, next time.

>>47782289
See you in three months, Blorp!

We tease you because we love you, never feel guilty about putting other things ahead of writing stories for nameless internet people.

>> No.47782348

>>47782289
Next thread confirmed for E3 2017!

>> No.47782362

>>47782347
I support the spoiler text wholeheartedly.

>> No.47782399

>>47782347
Also I forgot to say I love how clever this outcome was, Blorp. I can't believe none of us brought up the "Lock a Bookkeeper in a room long enough and they will somehow balance your books so perfectly they account for everything that will ever happen to your fortress and stay completely accurate" thing.

>> No.47782407

>>47782347
>spoiler

Agreeing and reiterating this.

>>47782399
I mean, I thought about it, but I never thought it would go SO WRONG.

>> No.47782422

Heh, like the ending of the description in the Archive. Well, there a two mistakes, but I think that has more to do that your keyboard can neither write ü nor ß. Also, this basicly cements that you are one of the better OP/Qm I have the pleasure of writing under.

>> No.47782506

>>47781125
So, you mean yes. Because a regular sundae has the fudge on the outside.

>> No.47782520

>>47782506
N-no, it's nothing like that, baka!

>> No.47782597

>>47782422
>Well, there a two mistakes, but I think that has more to do that your keyboard can neither write ü nor ß.
Unless your keyboard doesn't have a numpad, it can write those characters:

Alt+129

Alt+225

Behold the power of ASCII codes.
http://asciiset.com/

>> No.47782605

>>47782239
Do we have liferings?

>> No.47782608

>>47782605
No, but we have booze.

Which actually gives me a wonderful idea as to how to solve this problem next time.

>> No.47782616

>>47782288
Sorry about that; got interrupted twice this thread, and between that and the mega-post capping the end, I probably could've squeezed out another.

Y'know, if Things Hadn't Happened.

>>47782299
>>47782347
>>47782312
>>47782348
>>47782362
>>47782407
DON'T JINX IT, YOU FOOLS

Thanks, guys- while RL does cause delays, I have too much of a goddamned blast writing stories for nameless internet people to let RL keep me from here for too long!

>>47782314
I will look into those IF YOU WOULD PLEASE GO GET SOME SLEEP, GODDAMN

>>47782399
You can thank Glazedcoast for that- I probably never would've even known about that tidbit if not for that LP!

Although I wouldn't have thought about adding DFHack to the mix.

Or dice rolls.

... or dice rolls low enough that I had to stop and think up a fitting outcome.

>>47782422
>>47782597
Honestly, I probably could've copy-pasted the correct letters if I'd taken the time to look, but EVERY spelling of that phrase I've known since, like, the 90's (and since that certain song from that certain anime) just did it all in English. Old habits die hard!

... man, I can't even get the accented 'e' right. Like, "that mongoose Pokemon from the newest games horrifies me to no end."

>>47782506
>>47782520
I-It's not like I was saving these toppings inside me just for you, idiot

>> No.47782644

>>47779110
>>EA: SPORTS SPORTS SPORRRTS
Fe looked cute tho.

>> No.47782708

The best news to come out of E3 is Phoenix Point.

>> No.47782750

>>47782239
HAHAHAHHA

DROWN THIS WORLD IN NEP

IT AIN'T MAGMA BUT FUCK IT WORKS

>> No.47782784

>>47782616
Accented e is hold ALT, then numpad 1, 3, 0.

>> No.47784329

>thread already over
FUCKING DAMMIT

>> No.47784427

>>47782784
>having to use Alt+numbers
>not just pressing small 2
I pity the fools using qwerty.

>> No.47785315

>>47782314
Daedalic Entertainment does some pretty nice games, good old Point 'n Click.
And then there's Crysis.

Those are the ones I can come up with right now.

>> No.47785907

>>47784427
At least my keyboard doesn't have imaginary keys like "small 2" on it. That's crazy talk.

You can also use the Character Map to copy and paate any character if you're on Windows.

>> No.47786987

>>47782289
Note to self to never let Nep nep around with DF stuff, ever.

>> No.47787723

>>47786987
Bah! I have no doubt that actually getting Neptune to be productive can have no possible negative repercussions! What's the worst that can happen? She retroactively wins the console wars?

>> No.47789755

>>47787723
Well theres that. And she will basiccly wipe out all compitition before it began, therefore time goes doctor who level paradox, but not quite homestuck

>>
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