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46958394 No.46958394 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

What are some of the weirdest ass things your pcs have kept with them, and for what purpose?

I'll start:

A Mage in a multiverse campaign- had 42 terabytes of Lesbian Clown Porn.

Use: To confuse and horrify.

>> No.46958811

Scholar (read: evil genius) in Fantasy Craft.
Item: Her own reproductive organs in a jar
Use: Spare parts

>> No.46958862

Leopard-print speedo
Trophy off an eccentric gnome riding a warforged titan the party killed

>> No.46958887

i know i always kept a severed head of a companion in my inventory, a fellow PC died and his last wish was to be buried in his homes garden, but he was turned into a demon zombie thing and only his head was salvageable after we killed it.

along with that i always carried a flask of salt water, the eye of the person who blinded one of my eyes.
+10 luxurious mens underwear.
Pamphlets from a cult that tried to induct us (induct?).
Glow in the dark stickers.

all on the same character

>> No.46958891
File: 326 KB, 352x448, sample-8157ba0222aa6ff0fae50597fa530644.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>42 terabytes of Lesbian Clown Porn

Were most of them of a certain lampad?

>> No.46958942

my druid has had a jar of milk 14 game months now, 18 months real time. I'll let you know when it gets used.

>> No.46958983

A basilisk carcass.
You know why.

>> No.46959007
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He's going to cheese the boss?

>> No.46959095
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The weeb just got done watching Spice&Wolf and decided his character wants to be a merchant now.

He bought a wagon, a horse, 1,000 lbs. of wheat, and even got a hireling.
Use: Never considered trading, bartering, or even buying property. The party just uses the wagon as transport now instead of walking, and the hireling girl has become a minor NPC that drives the horse, manages money, and has been used as errand runner.

It could've been worse but I'm pretty sure the wheat has gone bad and can't be resold.

>> No.46959130

Geez, why didn't he even try selling the wheat? What's wrong with some people.

>> No.46959200

Current game, an opposing adventurer who'd attempted to kill him but he disarmed and subdued. I say inventory in the sense that lacking proper restraints, he's basically just held onto or carried her on his shoulder pretty much the entire time since having caught her. That, and in a sense she's the only thing he has possession over currently, apart from his clothes.

>> No.46959244

A length of elvish hair braided into rope, it was the PCs dead wife, he toyed with it whenever he had downtime.

>> No.46959250

Warlock of the Great Old Ones in DnD 5e

A few odd items currently in my inventory:
two clay pots full of spiders
night cap of pleasant dreams
bird-princess panties
magic conch
pearly white rib
mindflayer head

>> No.46959284

A Halfling Bard has a dozen elf ears in his inventory.
He is going to make a mosaic out of them, apparently.

>> No.46959495

A pound of salt. Never know when salt could could in handy fighting supernatural garbage slingers.

>> No.46959726

I played a magical girl game awhile back where one of the player's characters kept a bunch of vials of blood on her.

It gets less weird though when the theme of her powers is "vampirism" and drinking that blood temporarily gives her the skills of whoever the blood was taken from. Still lead to some incredibly awkward excuses in-game though when normal people found out she had them though... everything from lies about them being "props" from the school's theater department to them actually being a fancy new juice drink that old people just "wouldn't understand".

>> No.46959796
File: 19 KB, 200x200, actually anon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Unless he let it get wet it hasn't gone bad. Wheat will keep for a long damn time. However if he has a half ton of wheat in an open wagon, it went bad the first time it rained.

>> No.46959850

Players that took over a pirate ship kept the captured mage as slave spellcaster.

>> No.46959861

>But you never said it rained.

>> No.46959915

Wouldn't it have weevils or something in it by now from all the time it has been exposed?

>> No.46959939

Really depends what exactly we are talking about. Has it dried. How is it packaged. How was it processed before being bagged up? And why the fuck would you try and trade in unmilled wheat

>> No.46959985

I'm sorry if I'm being stupid, but wouldn't the wheat being husked be just as susceptible, if not more so, to bugs and what not?

>> No.46960033

He should be dealing in flour instead. There's a mill in almost every parish and milling wheat makes it much more wealth dense and, thus, easier and more profitable to transport.

>> No.46960093

A small needle fish inside a glass sphere 'tank' ten centimetres in diameter that's kept alive and healthy via enchantments.

Despite the fact we are travelling light and we are actually keeping track of weight and storage, even with our money, one of the bards just had to have a momento from home.

Just so we didn't have to keep it safe from breaking, the DM ruled it was more or less nigh unbreakable and that the fish couldn't be killed from knocking the ball around.
Also, it could sense any body of water deep enough to submerge the crystal ball within about fifty metres and would swim in that direction as a form of compass.

Because we now have, esentially, an indestructable kilogram weight that also functions as a compass of sorts, it's had various uses around the place.
Often we'll leave a bucket of water somewhere and it's a short ranged GPS unit.

Also another Bard has an armillary globe with a built in astrolabe and sextant.
These were specially crafted to then fit inside her instrument, an Ocean Harp for ease of carrying.

She does use them for navigation in game and despite an Ocean Harp being an ill choice for a bard's instrument, the DM just said that to anyone not of the party it is a strange sound most feel abivalent towards.
All of this cuts into her carrying capacity a fair bit due to the bulk of the items but they've stuck to it.

>> No.46960111

>You never said there were weevils.

>> No.46960256

>ocean harp
Humanity will never cease to amaze me.

>> No.46960472
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>bird-princess panties
>mindflayer head

That's something I'd never mention in the same sentence.

>> No.46963358

A rock.

Picked it up off the ground at the entrance to the first dungeon he ever cleared, has been carrying it with him ever since.

*shrug* "For luck."

>> No.46963371


Keeping heads/skulls for possible resurrection later is an old tradition.

>> No.46963626

does he ise the magic conche whenever he needs advice?

>> No.46963724

A baby

Just in case his cannon runs out of ammo :^)

>> No.46963843

>*shrug* "For luck."
10/10, I'd love it if my players did something small and quirky like this.

In my last Pokemon TTA campaign, one of my players had a nasty habit of killing savages and feral Pokemon. This led to him ripping off a Beedrill's arm and a Scyther's arm to use as weapons. And of course, he never actually used them because they raided a police armory for guns in the immediate next town.

>> No.46964068

You can't grow more wheat from flour. As an adventurer it's not unlikely that he could be travelling through areas that have faced tragedies that destroyed their fields and left them desperately needing to get something to plant for the next year. In those cases he could sell wheat for much more than flour.

>> No.46964199
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Squeaky raccoon toy. Originally bought from a toy shop in a large port city. It was going to be the crux of a prank that never happened. Instead, he just held onto it. Being a kid, and a Shifter, he found solace in having a little squeaky thing to play with. Named it "Charlie".

Had it until he decided that it was time to grow up and burned it in a fire.

>> No.46964915

Well, if they are just walking randomly with a cart full of wheat or flour they probably won't sell it for a profit anyway. But take that wheat to the nearest city and you're already on plus. Take it to a port and you're golden.
But that would probably mean abandoning any resemblance of plot they had.

>> No.46965815

Okay, first of all
>42 Terabytes of Lesbian Clown Porn

The literal monkey-head doorbell from the mansion in the second Rise of the Rune Lords book. Was going to install it in the bar, never got the chance, because DM got bored.

>> No.46965972

Every time my GM makes me roll for perception and I get a 10 or less he says the rock on the floor is very fucking pretty and there's nothing around me. I've been collecting them and one time I even fought one of my companions for one.

>> No.46965984

A player decided to play a wood elf from elder scrolls
The motherfucker, for being a wood elf, had high resistance to poison and diseases.
And what did he decide to use it for?
He carried all the rat corpses he could. Every disgusting vermin, the more decomposed the better, would be eventually used as a weapon or more frequently as an added ingredient to the camp meals. Eventually he would just carry the dead bodies of any animal that was small enough, but still more commonly rats

This retardation reached its summit when a dead fish he was carrying saved the party from a half-ogre rapist at a prison

>> No.46966053

I have this ongoing joke on all my games about the players finding consequent volumes of a long encyclopedia named "types of grain"
The book transcends dimensions and the players always make great efforts to collect them

Sadly, so far they have only gathered up to volume 6

Also there is a joke about failed search checks, if they roll hilariously low they'll always find a "(color) colored pebble that doesn't serve for shit" and this pebble be added to their inventory

>> No.46966064

Hey boss

>> No.46966069


>> No.46966548

My current character has been carrying around several dozen wood-cutting ax heads for several years now.

I load them into a small catapult and fire them into crowds of mooks.

>> No.46966847

Remember, always choose the lesser of two weevils.

>> No.46967519

One of my characters has a box of femurs.

We went to the underworld for a quest, and I wanted a souvenir.

They actually became useful when we had to deal with demonic guard dogs later.

>> No.46967845

Barbarian Monk multiclass, she's making a necklace out of all her and her sisters teeth that get knocked out in their battles. If they get brought down to less then half health in a fight, they lose D3-1 teeth.

She's up to twenty-four in the ivory count now.
And one Drow canine she was given from a Drow who thought it a trophy necklace.

Also in the party one of the Clerics has a bag full of phenoix feathers. We keep joking that it's to make a Phenoix Down.

Finally the Theif has a small bag full of dried fish. When asked why they remarked that in their solo days, the fish could be used to distract or confuse guard dogs. However now they mostly use it for rations.

>> No.46967894

I collect pebbles. This is because I voice my extreme disagreement by casting light on them and whipping them at your eyes. Anyway, knives. I buy a knife of some sort from every town we pass. I think 5% of my wbl is knives. I have so many that i'm given a +2 on any skill that would be aided by a knife. And a +5 on know local, assuming it regards knives. I'm a wizard, I don't need this many knives.

>> No.46967970

The Swashbuckler carried around a bag of spell components taken from a necromancer. So a bag of assorted bodyparts, he claimed that you can never know if you´ll need them

>> No.46968001

You can totally use induct. Induction to a cult is basically when they try to get you actively involved in it.

>> No.46968154

just watch out for stairs

>> No.46968235

Let's see, my first GM thought is was funny to give us periodically useless items such as a watch going reverse or ogre poems. This led to many lolrandumb moments where some players (including me, I am very guilty of this) whipping out the gizmos and yelling like they were casting to induce surprise. This is how balin the impostor (fighter dwarf) "casted" time reversal.

Now we've grown out of this. The worse I have carried around was a waterskin full of sea water for religious purposes. I guess I would have weirder if I hadn't stopped playing tabletops after beginning college.

At this point I am realising I began writing this reply thinking I had a good one in me. I don't, I've played so littl RPGs...
Thanks for the existential crisis /tg/, I'm heading to game finder as we speak.

>> No.46968272

>My players think it's weird when I describe an NPC Wizard enemy as having 4-5 tomes about fish and mollusks on him at the time of death
>This thread

He was one of the normal ones.

>> No.46968470

I've always wanted to have a character of mine carry around a few keepsakes, but my group never lets me buy anything non-optimized with my WBL during chargen.

Even when I play a character who doesn't need a bunch of magic items because one magic item covers all the stuff he actually does.

>> No.46968926
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In the only game I ever ran from the Army of Darkness rulebook, one of my players had created Buzz Aldrin as his character; character creation in Army of Darkness being incredibly loose and allowing for virtually anything.

He had Buzz carry around a small scale die-cast model of a Saturn V rocket, saying that it "reminded Buzz of simpler times" while the party was busy traipsing through the universe, killing demons and space nazis. It didn't come up much, but was always sitting in his coat pocket, and he'd fiddle with it whenever there was downtime.

It ended up serving a purpose near the end of the campaign, where after his Colt 1911 ran out of ammo he chucked it like a spear and nailed a Deadite right in the eye socket, thanks to some crafty rolling. In the AoD rules, rule of cool is rewarded (literally, with bonus rolls or what have you), so he shouted "I am Buzz Aldrin, and I am KING OF SPACE" and hurled that thing as hard as he could.

He was then eviscerated by said Deadite, but it was very entertaining nonetheless.

>> No.46969292

I played a Tengu gunslinger in Pathfinder. I carried the tarp from a wagon for weeks. I would throw it over an enemy and we would smack it like a shitty flesh pinata. When the enemy died, I would wipe off the tarp and put it in my bag, blood, gore, and all.

It eventually tore when a spider grabbed it mid air.

>Rip in Pieces, Tarp.

>> No.46969901

My fist wizard in our homebrew has a collection of pictures of his beautiful mustache. He traded them to a merchant for nearly his entire inventory.

>> No.46970483

A cask of blood

Playing in a world where vampires secretly control everything. We learn that they have been importing blood in casks from other nations where they have stronger control over the cities. We arrive at warehouse. Party left me (fighter) outside while they teleported and flew through the windows to save rouge. I resorted to busting down the door. Vampire is already dead, thou party accidently set place on fire. Not wanting to walk away empty handed, I grab a barrel and run outside before the place burns down

Was hoping for sellable items (wheat, salt, tobaccoo, ect.) instead got a cask of blood.

>> No.46970514

>my group never lets me buy anything non-optimized
bullshit, who acts like this?

More likely you want to buy pure fluff and you like the idea of it but when it comes down to it, you're too much of a pussy

>> No.46970945

A friend did a short 1st edition D&D campaign. After buying two handaxes, my Gnome fighter known as Hammerfist bought 71 10 ft poles.

>> No.46971065

My current character has leveled from 5 to 15 with the same Haversack on him. Current contents include:
Lich's ashes
Dead(er) Worms-that-walked
Potion of Sex Change
A rock with permanencey'd Light
A solid gold fiddle
A SUSPICIOUS peach pie

>> No.46973183


>> No.46975180
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My character had a box of puppies which he would keep in temporal stasis. The puppies never aged and he could pull them out when he needed them.

He used them to make moral armour.

You wouldn't shoot a man with puppy armour would ya?

>> No.46977597

>a potted plant.
>a lucky orcs face (hand crafted from real orc face).
>Blood vials from each enemy ever slain.
>Two ferrets

>> No.46978075

Had a CN character when I was a teen, he carried around the dismembered arm of a Goblin (I think), which he used to beat information out of people with, the first being the owner of the arm. Campaign lasted like 7 sessions tops or something because no one could commit.

>> No.46978145
File: 208 KB, 353x331, totally not a porncrop.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>bird princess panties
ayy get in there lad

not me, but my brother once stole a wolf and kept it in a bag.
apparently he later trained it and sprung it on people mid-combat.

personally, i've never really picked up anything too strange yet, although my warbirds mad scientist owns a 'semi-perpetual motion device'.

>> No.46978669

One of my party members has a crack-addict goblin that he carries around with him, since the character is a 'crack wizard' this makes some sort of sense.

Another, and I'm not sure exactly who, has the bootlaces of a mayor we failed to extort more money out of after we did a quest for him.

And the plague doctor has a bag full of body parts. Fresh ones because magic.

>> No.46979699

So, does it really taste like chicken?

>> No.46979810

One of my PCs has a dead pixie in a jar.
She uses it to intimidate uppity fey.
I don't think we've ever explained how she got it, and I think it would be better off a mystery.

>> No.46979928

i had one of my past characters (a sprite ranger) dead in a jar as a necklace for a golem wrestler i started playing

>> No.46979961

Sounds like these two would get along like a house on fire.

>> No.46979976

A rape coupon.

>> No.46980000

A tapestry of one of the other players being tangled up in the rigging of a sailing ship. By me. From the future.

I had it so I would make it in the future, lose it and complete the circle.

>> No.46980002


>> No.46980203

>who acts like this?

People with system mastery.

>> No.46980252

Technically, you still haven't. It's a list, not a sentence.

...And you didn't hear it, you read it.

>> No.46980261

People who inately play the game wrong and think they are in a vidya--where fluff and little details that actually make TTRPG's WORTH it in a day and age where video games can be purchaced for a couple dollars--are inconsequential.

>> No.46980340

Our Alchemist was so pissed off at the impossible ingredients in the recipes he found in our travels that he secretly held onto a tooth of our mage, which he lost in a fist fight.
He then included it in a potion he designed himself under the description "tooth of a blue haired mage" and distributed the recipe liberally, just to spite other alchemists.
That was the day I learned the truth about mind bogeling potion ingredients.

>> No.46980520

A warlock in playing in 5th edition has
>The skeleton leg of a Knight of solamnia
>The loincloth of a powerful tribal chief
>A zombie's moving finger

>> No.46980637
File: 16 KB, 480x360, I Really Am Not.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

A coffee grinder.
But it turns out he didn't like coffee one bit.
So now it sits there, unused.
But he spent money on the thing, so it stays in his bags dammit.

In another campaign two of my players once decided to stuff some comfy armchairs in their bags of holding. I think they stole them from some bad guy's personal chambers.
Now, whenever they have to sit down they pull those out.
Kinda makes the serious conversation with the BBEG lose a bit of its' tension, that.

>> No.46980828

>Never considered trading, bartering, or even buying property.
Are you saying he never once considering actually doing merchant stuff as a merchant? Because S&W was literally an intro to Economics. Wheeling and dealing was the main focus of the show. Even Holo was a filter to introduce it to audiences more easily.

That said, I'd actually be interested in playing/running a merchant simulator, but doing it properly with multiple currencies and a fluid economy seems like a daunting task.

>> No.46980869

Early in our adventuring career we were sent to retreive an ancient, legendary sword that belonged to some unspecified religious figure. After we found it, we returned to the quest giver, negotiated a reward and went our way.

Many months and sessions later we found ourself unrelated trouble that kind of stumped us, so as we were reaching for straws someone suggested we should look through our inventory, maybe there's something at all on us that helps us in some way.

You guessed what we found.

It didn't help.

>> No.46981176

Chaos Swag
Stray Limbs
Unholy tapestry depicting scenes form the Horus Heresy
Yu'Vath crystal blade with the Rak'gol limb it was attached to
A jar full of horrible infectious diseases
A skull greatly pleasing to Khorne (with he fleshy bits still attached)

Say what you will about Black Crusade, but you can loot some wild shit

>> No.46981202

A bronze door rigged to zap anyone who touched it with a couple hundred volts of lightning.

One of my players decided to spend about twenty minutes in-game working to disarm the trap, then they spent another hour detaching the door from the wall and shoving it into their bag of holding while the other two players and I sat dumbstruck,

"This door has a destiny," the player insisted.

This very same player has also "borrowed" a rusty iron chest that they found while pillaging a ghost town, and half of the BBEG's wardrobe when they were raiding his lair.

>> No.46981238

>wizard has a bunch of cool knives
Youre rping you have autism?

>> No.46981284

are you gunna fuck that lich?

>> No.46981289

This sounds reminescent but by what I recall the guy nipped silver doors not bronze.
Probably not the same guy what is with fa/tg/uys and doors?

>> No.46981411

I don't think you're in my group, anon.
the player was a girl

>> No.46981427

no, reminescent from a /tg/ copypasta

>> No.46981626

My Wookie from a Starwars Roll20, would keep the arms of those he'd ripped off his enemies. i had 16 shoved to the brim in a backpack, they spilled out in front of some storm troopers as we were leaving.

And i had a sorcerer that would collect as much garbadge as possible and try to glamour then sell it, i managed a few times.

>> No.46981784


>> No.46982006

5 fluffy blue handcuffs
A 3" cube of titanium
A talking skull
16 zip ties
And a shiny rock (which the GM half-assed into being a meteorite for a plot hook).

>> No.46982222

My party killed a group of goblins, and one of the PC's decided to keep one of the severely-maimed-but-not-quite-dead ones on a rope.

He was very strong, and dragged this "goblin-on-a-rope" for miles of foot travel through a desert peninsula, over the course of several days.

The goblin finally died, but the PC kept it anyway. His rationale was that, because he was so strong, he could use the goblin as a crude weapon swung around on the end of the rope.

Eventually, upon making it to the Sea, he decided he would use the dead goblin as a fishing lure for a legendary sea serpent in the area.

It worked. Though, the serpent swallowed the small Mayan-esque character called Jaguar Scorpion in the process.

However, they managed to slay the beast, partially from the inside.

To this day, they swear by the "goblin corpse as fishing lure" method of monster hunting.

>> No.46982308

Oh, and to add to this:

The guy who kept the goblin on the rope had also spent his entire character's $ budget on a meticulously customized backpack.

It was huge, waterproof, with hundreds of internal compartments and false canvas inserts for smuggling things. It was extra-thick so it would withstand damage very well. The backpack practically had its own character sheet.

System was GURPS.

>> No.46983136

>You know why.
Do I?

>> No.46984759

Likely same reason one uses a Cockatrice corpse as a weapon in NetHack.
Hit anything with it, it turns to stone.

>> No.46986907
File: 193 KB, 960x720, Sharkman Crying.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Playing a wereshark who uses his own teeth in his weapons, jewellery and tools, so he has a small bag full of them.

>> No.46987027

i remember the first campaign i was ever a part of started with my brother, who played an alchemist, picking up what the DM foolishly called "wet sadness." It was just what the dm said was in some rotting barrels in an old beached ship on our first actual quest. probably just some really nasty water most likely. however, when we conclusively identified the substance as "wet sadness" our alchemist set to work harnessing the power of material emotion to make especially potent concoctions. here is a short list of things he made and how he used them
>rage-dyes: color things, and using things stained with the dyes made one remarkably more angry, applying a -2 cha debuff
> tear-napalm grenade: bomb that exploded into a lot of fire that made whoever was caught in it cry if they failed the will save
>curiosity potion: while trying to distill chemical love, he made a potion that when drunk, made someone both incredibly naive and very very interested in everything around them. -2 wisdom but +5 to perception checks
>the actual love potion: acted like a charm spell that lasted for 3 hours
>liquid fun: a chemical that could make someone experience ecstasy if ingested or inhaled in gaseous form. when burned into a flame, it would spread to whatever it could burning in what was described as "a technicolor nightmare of rainbows and sparkles" and make someone go mad with bliss before killing them.

>> No.46987311

Best my character's got:
>Bucket of Simic Cytoplasm he bought off some merfolk.
Only got it because one of the NPCs is Rakdos and into weird shit but she didn't have enough for it, and he's into shapeshifty stuff himself. But he's already got an amulet that lets him use Alter Self at-will and Poly 1/day, so he's holding onto it until either of them can think of something.
>All of his coins in a Large-size sack
Since I barely buy anything, I just keep track of its ever-increasing weight since I love basic maths. DM finds it funny and says that if it ever came down to it, I could use it as an improvised mace with weight-scaled damage and a small penalty to attack rolls.
>100ft of rope
He carries for two reasons: "there are a fuckton of useful knots" and "most people think twice when someone grins at them while holding a length of rope in their hands"
>Wooden oak leaf pendant
Family heirloom from before he split off from them. Technically counts as a holy symbol, but he's a ranger so it doesn't do anything for him. He likes to look at it when thinking about future plans.

>> No.46989565

I read somewhere in a 2nd edition book that doors can hit for d20 damage. So theres that.

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