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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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46668072 No.46668072 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>be a retired adventurer - age and lack of practice have taken the edge off your skill
>come home to your young wife in the village
>open the door of your home
>find her struggling between two naked orcs who are railing her holes over and over again
>she's already covered head to toe in stinking orc semen
>a third orc grabs you from the door and forces you into a chair to watch
>"This is our revenge," he says, in thickly-accented Common, "We're going to breed a whole new generation into your pinkskin bitch to replace the one you slaughtered, 'hero'."

What do you do, /tg/?

>> No.46668103

they're orcs, their challenge rating is minimal.

I guess I kill them all??

>> No.46668119

I leave the table because my DM is inviting me into his shitty magical realm.

>> No.46668125

Kill them, if I'm particularly bitter I make sure to kill their spawn, but if in feeling compassionate I might raise it to despise orc culture

>> No.46668147

Excuse myself from the game and leave because the DM's jammed me into his shitty cuckoldry fetish.

>> No.46668151
File: 49 KB, 1039x250, This.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46668156

since my retired Cleric is lvl 20 .. the orcs are pretty much fucked.
Especiall because I'm a very vengeful person.

>> No.46668162

>tell her, "I'll let you finish," in the most dejected cuck way possible
>go outside, with slumped shoulders
>barricade door
>light hut on fire
>stay outside with weapons just in case I have to finish anyone off

>> No.46668182

Declare war on DM's magical realm and punch him

>> No.46668184

/pol/, plz go away.
Seriously, cuckold fantasies are dull at best and repulsive at worst.

>> No.46668196

>Begin to laugh
>"So how many of you have fucked her by now?"
>"The whole tribe!" he grins proudly "Some of us twice!"
>The dumb orcs fell for my trap
>The "wife" is construct designed to infect creatures it contacts with a nasty disease.
>They'll go back home and spread it to their wives and children
>Hopefully wiping their damn species off the continent
>Shame orcs are so predictable

>> No.46668200

Why would you kill your poor wife?

>> No.46668205
File: 16 KB, 351x329, 1453223647344.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Why stop there?

Kill the orcs and kill your young wife, claim the orcs did it when you tried to stop the rape. Turn your tragedy into a rallying cry to finish the job of exterminating the Orc menace.

Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

>> No.46668209

But I don't have a wife, did I walk into the wrong house?

>> No.46668217

I wish tg had flags

Is op Swedish German or Australian?

>> No.46668225


She's the only one who knows I got cucked.

>> No.46668229

>But I don't have a wife
Everyone pauses. Suddenly, she's a high level succubus and the orcs and the hero must put aside their differences and work together to save their dicks.

>> No.46668231

Because I'm 2 XP away from the next level-up.

>> No.46668234

gb2/pol/ both of you.

>> No.46668259

Nah, just leaving the orcs alone, it's their problem

>> No.46668260

Watch them finish and afterwards, help my wife off the floor and into the bath. As I'm gently scrubbing her clean, I lean close and whisper into her ear, "Happy birthday sweety."

>> No.46668261

Unleash the wrath of the gods on these creatures, see to may wife's injuries and mental state, then contact the local lord about an expedition to strike back at these things.

Retired or not, I'm still a warpriest and these brutes are going ro pay for this.

>> No.46668268


>> No.46668269 [SPOILER] 
File: 1.04 MB, 800x597, 1460645226216.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We lurk behind every thread anon

>> No.46668270

Because she's been tainted by filthy orcs. She's worthless now.

>> No.46668275
File: 16 KB, 300x179, Smarterest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Is op Swedish German or Australian?

>> No.46668276

You all have no concept of justice.
>Go to their houses
>Rape their wives
>Breed a whole generation to replace the ones they slaughtered
Justice is served!

>> No.46668277

I cast familicide on the orcs.

>> No.46668293

Considering she specifically posed as the PC's wife, it's obvious her plan was to wait for him.

>> No.46668296

>Kill the orc that's trying to hold me down
>Kill the other two
>Kill my wife
>Wander the world killing anything even vaguely orcish
>Do this until the end of time

>> No.46668307

Ulric Justice is best justice

>> No.46668308
File: 35 KB, 283x218, 1452476697268.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be gay
>this isn't even my wife
>still, these orcs need... proper punishment
>mfw i unzip my pants and approach the orcs

>> No.46668315

>Become BBEG
>Next Campaign all the PC's are Orcs.

>> No.46668333

God speed, anon.

>> No.46668341

All the more reason to humiliate her by leaving.

>> No.46668367
File: 54 KB, 610x610, Kierownik.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Which part of "not having a wife" you didn't get the first time around?
And as the other anon said - leaving her is the best way to handle this

>> No.46668376

I might be old, but I'm still strong enough to show these orks what's what. I subdue them, then fuck them up their tight little asses. They shouldn't play the "establish dominance through rape" game unless they're prepared for the chance they might be beaten.

>> No.46668377
File: 42 KB, 989x679, 1406173392651.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

because Heresy.

>> No.46668395

Retired adventurer doesn't mean I stopped studying as a wizard, just means that all but two of my spell slots per day are non-combat utility. Kill the orcs (and wife) with chain lightning and disintegrate the remains. Bury with a AD&D scroll of CL 13 dig.

>> No.46668408

>be a retired adventurer - age and lack of practice have taken the edge off your skill
See, this just doesn't fit with fantasy tropes. Retired adventurers are typically much more dangerous than active adventurers.

So I kill the orcs easily. I take my young wife to the nearest Cleric who worships a God or Goddess of Love, as they'll no doubt be the most skilled in aiding a rape victim in this medieval fantasy setting.

And then I send warning out to the comrades I adventured with, as they will no doubt be targeted. If they haven't already, upon hearing what's been done to my wife, they agree to march with me against the Orc tribe who committed this crime.

When the session is over, I punch the DM in the face.

>> No.46668413

>shoo the orcs away from the computer screen
>reload last save
>wife is as pure as I left her

>> No.46668415

I want to get off Mr GM's Wild Ride!

>> No.46668448

Gonna have to get a tecno cleric to clean the orc cum from the vents and replace the fans.

>> No.46668462

I've already purged any non humans from the World OP, so who's doing the raping?

>> No.46668471

It can't be worse than my own semen stains.

>> No.46668483

>level 7 cleric
Kill the orcs with a couple inflict wounds spells and cast cure disease on wife to kill the STDs and make her not pregnant. Then organize a raiding party to go and wipe that Orc menace off the map.

>> No.46668496

>Turn your tragedy into a rallying cry to finish the job of exterminating the Orc menace
This is the correct answer.

>> No.46668504

>perpetuating the cycle of violence that got your wife raped is the right answer

>> No.46668507

kill all of them. including the wife. she has brought shame to my family.

>> No.46668542
File: 220 KB, 472x500, 1429898076842.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

My most recent character didn't earn the nickname "Orcsbane" for nothing. Even if you halved his level he'd still take out 10 Orcs before breaking a sweat.

>> No.46668545

The cycle will never end until one side has not only won, but exterminated the other side. And I would prefer if it were the damnable greenskins who bites the dust.

>> No.46668546

What is the sauce for OP's picture, though?

>> No.46668555


It's not a cycle if you manage to kill every Orc, or enough of them to make their continued existence meaningless.

Slaughter the Orc, colonize their lands, rinse and repeat. If it worked for the Americans it can work here.

>> No.46668558

>Ending the perpetuating cycle by completely removing the other side is the wrong answer

>> No.46668571

>Retired adventurers are typically much more dangerous than active adventurers
That's only because the adventuror population is heavily frontloaded with novices who wash out or die in the lower levels. Only the skillful and strong survive long enough to retire.
Retirement still diminishes them. They're simply far enough above the curve that their diminished state is still comparatively powerful. If you were to compare them to themselves as they were in the height of their strength, before age started applying DEX penalties and wielding all the gear they'd since sold off or passed down to their children, you'd see the difference immediately.

>> No.46668595


What IS the best way to commit genocide in a fantasy setting?

Is it possible to engineer a spell plague that targets specific humanoid subtypes? Isn't [Orc] a subtype?

>> No.46668598

This man knows what's up, trips of truth.

>> No.46668602

I'd play that

>> No.46668612

>Implying I will let any orcs left

>> No.46668623


This is the only thing this thread is good for. Give us some proper sauce.

>> No.46668630

Enchant many many weapons with a +n against orcs.
Then you sell them for cheap.
Fresh adventurers who desperately need to get a few levels under their belts see the opportunity and go grinding.

>> No.46668638

kill the men and boys.
rape and impregnate the women
sell the children into slavery.
rinse and repeat when necessary.

>> No.46668645

There's only one thing I can do...




>> No.46668646

Fuck off Jackson

>> No.46668650

I hate it when artists leave sigs that are fucking cryptic and unsausable.

>> No.46668656

You are forgetting an alternative...a wizard
With age they only get more OP and more crazy

>> No.46668683

Lin Visel, aka Ovens.

>> No.46668687


Also yes

>> No.46668691

Sure, though in this scenario we have a young wife and no indication that we have children. Also, who the hell just sells off the gear that kept them alive through countless adventures? It's not like you need the money with all the treasure and rewards you've claimed.

Also, even with aging penalties there's just no way 3 Orcs are going to pose a problem.

>> No.46668702

Unless you retired at level 2.

>> No.46668706
File: 927 KB, 1119x1600, KmGmTpE.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

supreme taste

>> No.46668707

>Is it possible to engineer a spell plague that targets specific humanoid subtypes?
Never works right. You'll just end up doing some Eberron Day of Mourning shit.

>> No.46668710


Sauce of this reaction image? The Google does nothing.

>> No.46668726

>"We're going to breed a whole new generation into your pinkskin bitch to replace the one you slaughtered, 'hero'."

To replace the generation that our adventurer slaughtered. Clearly, the adventurer in question is highly accomplished.

>> No.46668750

InCase. That is all you need.

>> No.46668753

Warhammer Fantasy orcs reproduce asexually and my diestro is unmarried.

But he wins the opposed roll for the grapple and then kills the orcs in a few rounds. Then calls his witch hunter friend, since clearly there's chaos afoot.

>> No.46668758

Yeah, slaughtering a generation of Orcs is not something a low level adventurer could do.

>> No.46668771

One: you sick fucks, she's barren so no amount of fucking will make orc babies.

Two: that's because my wife is dead, you sick fucks.

>> No.46668773

He killed 4 elderly orcs that had fallen asleep under an apple tree. Then he sold the loot and the apples and married the miller's daughter.

Exactly how many half-breeds do you think a single rape will produce in a human woman?

>> No.46668783
File: 151 KB, 500x309, shrug[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"Go ahead, the son of my mistress needs enemies anyway."

>> No.46668796

Take all the youth on regular camping trips so they become rangers. Make sure orcs attack, so they all pick up Favored Enemy on them.

>> No.46668800


"I don't have a wife and this isn't my house"

>woman finally notices me

"Oh shit that's our neighbor!"


"...And that how I learned about my neighbors fetish"

"And the husband?"

"Across the street plowing some Orc ladies"

"People in this town are weird"

"Preaching to the choir buddy"

>> No.46668848
File: 43 KB, 500x500, 1460050043546.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46668871

>Also, who the hell just sells off the gear that kept them alive through countless adventures?
Maybe you don't want it there reminding you of how you used to be. Not everybody retires happy at the peak of their career. Maybe you retired because you slipped up the way you never used to and some monster's blade ripped a gash in your armor, barely missing your flesh. I wouldn't want to keep that suit around anymore, reminding me of what I'd lost.

Or maybe you had an apprentice, and you gave most of your gear to him when you passed on the torch. Maybe you sold it in the hopes that it'd save the lives of a new generation of heroes the way it saved you. Maybe you wanted a little extra coin to furnish the place nice. Maybe your wife just wanted you to clear out the cellar so she'd have room for the damn potatoes this year.

Plus, some of that shit just isn't really safe to have around at home without a reason.

>> No.46668875

>If you kill your enemies they win

>> No.46668919

fuck off trudeau

>> No.46668954


>> No.46668979

I join in.

Sharing our sluts shall bring peace and prosperity.

>> No.46668996

Well, considering my character is an Orc, and that Orc's, unlike humans, know how to share, the first bit seems fairly normal. I would probably be a bit skeeved out that Thurag is doing some weird revenge fantasy thing, but as longs as it doesn't get TOO weird, I'm Orcbro enough to go along with it

>> No.46669011



Those double dubs

>> No.46669024

Shitty thread aside, I need source for that pic.

>> No.46669026



>> No.46669039


His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's blood on his chainmail already, and he's ready
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to smite down,
But he keeps on regretting what he left out,

The orc crowd goes so loud
He draws his sword, but the words won't come out
He's crying now, everybody's laughing now
The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!

Snap back to reality. Oh, there goes sanity
Oh, there goes orc, his blood drawn
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it, he knows his wife depends on his sword
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that but he's broke

He's so sad that he knows
When he slaughters the orcs that's when it's
Will repeat again, yo
This whole insanity
He better go capture this vengeance and hope it don't pass him

>> No.46669115

They did not know that i cast microcosm a long time ago in the living world that I created as their body slowly rot away

>> No.46669209

You remind me of the time when I went through a phase of ERPing on WoW as a troll where I would befriend other hungry male races (Tauren, trolls, orcs) seek out blood elf sluts, then in the middle of the act emote inflating them.

You'll be surprised how many people go along with it.

>> No.46669246


>This is perfectly acceptable logic in DnD
>But if I say "just glass the whole middle east" even once, everyone loses their shit

Fuck, why can't IRL be easy like this?

>> No.46669272

Shitposting is against the rules.

>> No.46669282

Thank you, kind fampai

>> No.46669297
File: 327 KB, 500x750, 1456799007555.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

In Orcish society, There is no kink shaming

>> No.46669301

>CaptainAmerica.jpg: the post

>> No.46669306

The people who accept the first, accept the second. They're both morally shitty people.

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