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45828222 No.45828222 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. You are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. Ever since you were spawned in some goddess-forsaken corner of Gamindustri, you were painfully aware that those words should not be anywhere near each other. Still, that's the hand you were dealt, so you really had no choice but to make the best of it.

... of course, that was back when you weren't caught up in heaps of bullshit taller than any dwarf should ever have to deal with.

'But Urist,' a discerning reader might say. 'Surely you're exaggerating! You're just a simple dwarven adventurer finding her fortune like every other moe personification out there! Your life can't possibly be THAT insane!'

Yeah, well, if anyone ever bucked up and said that to you in real life, you'd just point them toward Histoire, the goddessly middle management of Gamindustri who's normally calm, composed, and as professional as a voice-controlled computerized smartphone assistant.

Because right now, she's looking upon the fruits of your labors and having a slight existential crisis and/or panic attack.

=What,= Histoire says weakly, her Key Fragments swiveling to stare at Blanc. The goddess of all things Nintendo continues hovering protectively over mini-Nep, favoring Histoire with a wary stare of her own.

=For what reason,= Histoire stammers, looking back down at the mini-Nep- the goddess you'd crafted from thin air is still playing with her toy mini-forge. The long-haired Nep-something appears to be forging tiny accessories for her crude toy robot, and is wholly engrossed in her work.

(Cont.)

>> No.45828236
File: 32 KB, 680x415, 1431315300459.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45828236

>>45828222
=What did you /do/,= Histoire pleads, her attention skittering back toward you- you, who are standing in CPU Purple Heart's body for reasons you don't fully understand yourself. =And where IS that sharicite?=

Well, that's one question you CAN answer, so you point her attention toward the Temptbleaches the Dutiful Chastity, and then you count to five as you wait for it to sink in-

=You turned the sharicite into a /door/!?= Histoire shrieks, the little book fairy's composure finally fraying at the edges. =But that's! That's physically impossible! You can't /shape/ sharicite into anything! Urist, what have you done!? What have you-=

You're saved from having to answer those questions, because there're explosions in the fortress.

Well, no, you don't die, because they didn't go off anywhere NEAR you. But you've lived with Mojang long enough to know damn well that explosions're happening; the floor shakes and nearly throws you off your feet, and there's a strange bass rumbling that sets your teeth on edge.

You ignore mini-Nep's panicked wail and Blanc's curses, turning your head to try and pinpoint what detonated where.

Right. You're not technically a dwarf right now, but some skills don't leave you no matter what. Something bigger went boom underneath your feet, down near the cavern levels; meanwhile, there was a smaller explosion in the upper levels of your fort, closer to the bedrooms and much less catastrophic.

(Cont.)

>> No.45828263
File: 1.14 MB, 410x288, f21ASS5.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45828263

>>45828236
You still have time, although you really, REALLY need to know where Mojang, Urist, and all those damn FPSes are. Nothing life-threatening or sanity-sapping is happening, at least not yet.

=I see. I must still be sleeping. Yes, I'll surely wake up any moment now, and everything will still make sense. Aha, ahahaha, abababa-=

... well, okay, so it might be a little too late for at least ONE person here.

[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.
[ ] [TO THE CAVERNS] If something goes boom near the caverns, that's pretty much Hell on wheels waiting to happen. Go down and see what's happening. Tell Histoire to go into low power mode or something, you'll talk to her later!
[ ] [TO THE UPPER LEVELS] If something explodes up near the surface, that's a security breach waiting to happen. Go up and see what's happening. Tell Histoire to go into low power mode or something, you'll talk to her later!

>> No.45828332

>>45828263
>[x] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.

There are no good decisions.

>> No.45828371

>>45828263
>[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.

>> No.45828404
File: 63 KB, 640x583, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45828404

>>45828263
>[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.
Tonight shall be fun. I can feel it.

>> No.45828408

>>45828332
[X] [TO THE UPPER LEVELS] If something explodes up near the surface, that's a security breach waiting to happen. Go up and see what's happening.

Get Blanc to talk to Histoire while you deal with the potential security breach.

>> No.45828498

>>45828263
>[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.
Only chance for it, I suppose. The fort will hold up.

>> No.45828519

>>45828263
>[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.

You have very strong combatants in your Fortress, so no worries about breaches.
The lower explosion is probably Doom and Tiff practising their weapons, hopefully not on the Birdman, or they try to teach the birdman how to shot some of their weapons.
The upper explosion is probably Mojang going off because she is very nervous.

The most important thing is knowing how to put your mind back into your body.

Afterwards, I would suggest we first go

>[ ] [TO THE UPPER LEVELS] If something explodes up near the surface, that's a security breach waiting to happen. Go up and see what's happening. Tell Histoire to go into low power mode or something, you'll talk to her later!

To calm down Mojang and probably catch Neptune, reverse the minds if possible and then

>[ ] [TO THE CAVERNS] If something goes boom near the caverns, that's pretty much Hell on wheels waiting to happen. Go down and see what's happening. Tell Histoire to go into low power mode or something, you'll talk to her later!

Also, Yay, Dwarf Fortress Quest.

>> No.45828557
File: 179 KB, 290x325, image.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45828557

>>45828222
>The long-haired Nep-something appears to be forging tiny accessories for her crude toy robot, and is wholly engrossed in her work.
I have to say. She's less than, what? An hour old? And she's already crafting?

I'm so damn proud.

>> No.45828559

>>45828519
>Implying it couldn't have been Neptune doing neppy things.

>> No.45828621

Yay, the thing I look forward to most on the internet is here again!
9th for Urist's body acting terrifyingly cutesy under someone else's command!
>[Upper Levels]

>> No.45828626

>>45828263
>[UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.

>> No.45828649

>>45828557
Yeah, I barely knew how to designate an area for mining in my first hour of Dwarf Fortress.

>> No.45828676

>>45828263
>[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.

>> No.45828683

>>45828557
>Nepgeardam soon

>> No.45828692

>>45828557
We must keep the mini-Nep.
If we let the not-mini-Nep raise her, she'll surely turn into some kind of deicidal abomination.

>> No.45828768

>>45828557
Well, If she can craft masterwork weapons, we have the quartermaster/-mistress for our fortress.

>> No.45828802

>>45828692
The term mini-nep feels weird, since she's actually taller than Neptune. I'd expect a "mini-nep" to be some chibified version of Nep.

>> No.45828823

>>45828768
We just started the fort, we can't expect instant master weaponsmiths

>> No.45828896

Okay, [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] takes the vote! Writing!

>> No.45828918

>>45828519
>[SPLIT THE PART-]
haha, nah
>[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE] Histoire can only expend so much energy staying awake, so you might as well check in on her while she's still lucid. You NEED to know how to get your body back, and to get Neptune back in her own.

>> No.45828922

>>45828823
We'll have her trained on copper swords.
Though I'd rather have an armorsmith, since we already have our gauntlets for weapons.

>> No.45828934

>>45828823
We're not doing great, honestly. We have a pretty big militia, but barely any crafters or workers. Maybe we can put Histoire in a room and make her increase the accuracy of our records, at least?

>> No.45828946

>>45828934
she's a bit too busy constantly passing out

>> No.45828971

>>45828922
do we even have copper?

>>45828263
Also, would opening the actual portal back to gamindustri "boost the signal", as it were?

>> No.45828977

>>45828922
Well, I want to give Blorp the task of finding out how modern weapons would interact with the dwarf fortress engine.

>> No.45828990

>>45828802
The funny thing to remember is she's already taller than both Urist and human form Neptune.

Should bring humorous moments if seen together out in public.

>> No.45828997
File: 24 KB, 358x400, SonIAmProud.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45828997

>>45828263
>[ ] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE]
Poor poor little book fairy, I can practically feel her sanity crumbling under the weight of the madness we have unleashed.

>>45828222
>looking back down at the mini-Nep- the goddess you'd crafted from thin air is still playing with her toy mini-forge. The long-haired Nep-something appears to be forging tiny accessories for her crude toy robot, and is wholly engrossed in her work.
I'm so proud of the little Nep, she definitely gets all her good traits form Urist.

>> No.45828998

I wonder if Mojang has any traits from the OTHER game in her series, Minecraft Story Mode? For that matter, does she have anything based on Scrolls or Cobalt? Or does it have to be a company personification for that?

>> No.45829074

>>45828977
>The steel .45 bullet strikes the void shark in the torso!

>>45828997
>Hiroire, Oracle, has gone insane!

>> No.45829104

>>45828997
Could be worse. There could be a quantum stockpile in the same room.

>> No.45829217

I just realized we haven't seen a treasure cube in ages. I'm really curious to see what other powers/abilities we can get. Same with everyone else, actually, it's fun seeing how game mechanics and stuff translate to abilities.

>> No.45829284

>>45829217
What if we pick up one in this state and pick up an ability intended for Neptune/Purple Heart?

>> No.45829332

>>45829217
Well, we haven't exactly been going into dungeons on quests in order to find them.

>> No.45829336

>>45829217
no cubes allowed in china

>> No.45829349

>>45829332
I wonder if we could find a dungeon in hyperdimension?

>> No.45829394

>>45829349
Hyperdimension already is a dungeon.

>> No.45829408

>>45829284
I guess it's getting a little existential. What does the power go to, the body or the soul?

...Probably the body, since they're described as small physical objects, for some reason. Actually, doesn't the mean we shouldn't be able to use Therapist, since the little hammer badge has been in our bag this whole time?

>> No.45829747

>>45828971
>do we even have copper?
Don't think so, as I recall when we went prospecting through the world seed log all we found were exotic Gameindustry ores.

>> No.45829903
File: 585 KB, 588x766, 1456814404369.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45829903

>check Therapist
>max lily ranks from daughteru
>wat do?

>> No.45829941

>>45829903
>Eat shit Neptune, your sister loves us more than she does you.

>> No.45829964

>>45829903
...is that Plutia wearing a Nep flesh suit?

>> No.45829973
File: 143 KB, 1280x720, 1419171118532.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45829973

>>45828263
>[X] [UPDATE FROM HISTOIRE]

Shit. You take a moment to weigh your options, and you could swear that steam curls out from Neptune's ears as you quickly put her brain through its paces.

If you wait too long, something else could explode up near the surface of your fort, strong enough to punch a hole in the outer walls. Not only would void-spawned monsters be able to come on in, but it'd no longer be watertight, which really sucks because the hyperdimensional void suffers biblical flooding multiple times a week.

On the other hand, something else could explode near the caverns, and re-breach that hole you'd plugged up because you don't want to deal with forgotten beasts crawling in just yet. Hell, if you're unlucky, any of 'em explosions could be strong enough to punch through to the next underground area.

... aaaand you immediately discard all that and focus back in on Histoire, because you can't stomach the thought of spending another twenty-four hours in Neptune's body or having Neptune bumming around in your mind.

C'mon, Histoire, snap out of it, she's gotta tell you how to get all your bodies un-swapped.

=Nice try, Neptune!= The book fairy actually giggles, a manic edge to her voice as her Key Fragments sway erratically. =Ooh, you and your pranks! You really pulled one over me, making me think that the ironclad laws of physics don't actually apply anymore! =

Histoire-

=Nope! Nada! Or as you would put it: nopers! 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸=

You're on the verge of shaking Histoire's Key Fragments when Blanc steps up to bat. "Histoire."

=CPU White Heart, shame on you!(>д<)=, the book fairy huffs. =Colluding with Neptune to prank me? I thought you were more responsible than... that...=

She trails off, like she's getting a good look at Blanc for the first time.

(Cont.)

>> No.45829983

>>45829903
Argue with the screen by pointing out we've only known her for like 5 minutes, as if we can somehow change it's mind.

>> No.45830009
File: 186 KB, 311x839, White_Heart.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45830009

>>45829973
It's well-known that Blanc's personality changes when she shifts from "human" to "goddess" mode: calm as a human, violent as a goddess. Except whatever Arfoire did to Blanc reversed that, physically locking her as CPU White Heart, while mentally locking her into her human mode's cool, emotionless veneer.

Stranded in her blue-haired combat form, the goddess of all things Nintendo isn't animated, or frowning, or even slightly pissed, she's just... standing there, calmly staring down the Key Fragments. You've known Blanc for all of a few days, and it's creepy as all hell to watch her like this. You can't even begin to imagine how off-putting it must be for Histoire, who's known her for decades, maybe centuries.

=... Blanc, what in the world happened to you?= Histoire murmurs.

"Arfoire happened," she replies curtly. "Answer Urist's question."

=But-=

Blanc shakes her head, closing her eyes. "You need to get Neptune back into the correct body first. Don't waste processing power on my problem. I know what I need to do."

Histoire seems like she's about to say something, but she takes a breath and turns toward you. =The bad news is that you cannot simply slam each others' heads together,= she says in that clipped, professional tone of hers, like she's giving a lecture. =I still do not know how Neptune's consciousness infiltrated yours in the first place, but... long story short, you need a proper medium, something to properly contain Neptune's consciousness during the split seconds when she is between bodies. The only thing that will work is Seganium, but that's only found-=

(Cont.)

>> No.45830038
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45830038

>>45830009
- all over the goddamn hyperdimensional void, and there are gobs of it underneath your fortress. Great! You're all set, then.

You get the distinct feeling that Histoire is doing her best fish impression right now.

=... fine! That takes care of that, though I certainly will not ask how this happened,= Histoire eventually huffs. =You just get as much of the stuff as you can, forge it into any sort of solid object, and have both you and Neptune touch the Seganium. Her failsafes will take care of-=

Your fortress shakes even more violently, a one-two punch of detonating force in two different places, top and bottom.

Okay, this is just getting ridiculous.


>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING, AND...
[A1] [ALL IN: UPPER] Go up to the higher levels with Blanc and see just why everything is blowing the hell up.
[A2] [ALL IN: LOWER] Go down to the cavern levels with Blanc and see why everything is blowing the hell up.
[A3] [SPLIT THE PARTY: UPPER] Okay, you'll check out the upper level and make sure the outer walls are okay; Blanc will go make sure the cavern entrance is fine.
[A4] [SPLIT THE PARTY: LOWER] Right, you'll go down to the cavern level and deal with the shit down there; Blanc will handle the upper level and make sure it's fine.

>... AND CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING.
[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.
[B2] [LEAVE NEPGEAR] with Shovel Knight (or Blanc, if the party is being split).

>> No.45830056

>>45830038
>[A4] [SPLIT THE PARTY: LOWER] Right, you'll go down to the cavern level and deal with the shit down there; Blanc will handle the upper level and make sure it's fine.
[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.

>> No.45830077

>>45830038
>[A2] [ALL IN: LOWER] Go down to the cavern levels with Blanc and see why everything is blowing the hell up.

>[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.

>> No.45830082

>>45830038
>[A3] [SPLIT THE PARTY: UPPER] Okay, you'll check out the upper level and make sure the outer walls are okay; Blanc will go make sure the cavern entrance is fine.

>[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.

>> No.45830120

>>45830038
>[A3]
>[B2]
I want to actually see Neptune and Mojsng, because what Mojang was saying last thread has me worried. And bringing Nepgear will just make things more confusing for everyone at the moment.

>> No.45830139

>>45830038
>[A3] [SPLIT THE PARTY: UPPER] Okay, you'll check out the upper level and make sure the outer walls are okay; Blanc will go make sure the cavern entrance is fine.

>[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.

Blanc is competent enough to reign in the FPS Personifications, Mojang on the other hand is better served with you directly, especially since Neppermint is probably near her. Also, we can leave Nepgear unsupervised, otherwise she will eventually play around with the relics of Shovel.

>> No.45830140

>>45830038
>[A2] [ALL IN: LOWER] Go up to the lower levels with Blanc and see just why everything is blowing the hell up.
>[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.
Can't risk corruption of the daughteru, and best to stop it at the likely source.

>> No.45830152

>>45830120
Wait, actually, Neptune and Mojang and company ARE on the upper levels, right? If not, I'll go with A2.

>> No.45830179

>>45830038
>[A3] [SPLIT THE PARTY: UPPER] Okay, you'll check out the upper level and make sure the outer walls are okay; Blanc will go make sure the cavern entrance is fine.

>[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.

>> No.45830187

>>45830152
Pretty sure they're at the top, yeah.

>> No.45830190

>>45830038
>[A3] [SPLIT THE PARTY: UPPER] Okay, you'll check out the upper level and make sure the outer walls are okay; Blanc will go make sure the cavern entrance is fine.
>[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.

>> No.45830232

>>45830038
>[A1] [ALL IN: UPPER] Go up to the higher levels with Blanc and see just why everything is blowing the hell up.
honestly, more explosions lower down means more seganium floating around.

>LEAVE NEPGEAR
let histoire play with her

>> No.45830249

>>45830187
Alright, then yeah, to the top. Let's reassert control of our fortress and our stand-in dorfs. I shudder to think how things have fallen to pieces without us in the center to keep everyone in line.

>> No.45830389

So of all our friends, who do you consider the most/least trustworthy and reliable?

>> No.45830431
File: 195 KB, 1280x778, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45830431

>>45830249
Can't considering that Neptune is running around most likely naked or in our nightgown, it's fallen to some degree.

>> No.45830457

Okay, looks like the votes pan out to:
[A3] [SPLIT UP: UPPER] and
[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR]!
Writing!

>>45828977
>modern weapons in dwarf fortress engine
... honestly, firearms would probably just be stronger crossbows. Except making them would be a bitch. You'd have to build each part separately, with almost no way to keep track of how many of which part you have, so it'd be like instrument crafting on steroids!

>>45828998
She MIGHT have a few traits from Minecraft Story Mode, although not really Scrolls or Cobalt! I'd named Mojang before I really had my naming scheme finalized and was waffling between company personification and strictly game personification, but she's definitely the latter.

>>45829217
Yeah, there hasn't been a whole lot of time for dungeon runs lately, huh?

>>45829284
>>45829408
Strictly speaking, probably the mind!

>>45830152
>>45830187
Note that it hasn't been stated which characters are where yet!

>> No.45830464

>>45830389
Most: Rocco. Hands down.

Least: Neptune. Wait, is she a friend? I'll count it anyway.

>> No.45830494

>>45830038
>>[A3] [SPLIT THE PARTY: UPPER] Okay, you'll check out the upper level and make sure the outer walls are okay; Blanc will go make sure the cavern entrance is fine.
>>[B1] [BRING NEPGEAR] with you.

>> No.45830505

>>45830457
>Note that it hasn't been stated which characters are where yet!
Well Mojang spoke to us from the fort and Neptune was heard speaking, so them being in the basement wouldn't make a whole lot of sense.

>> No.45830561

>>45830389
Most reliable: Thraviell and some Tiff Personalities.
Most trustworthy: Mojang
Least reliable: Emotional unstable Mojang, Neptune, Doom when it doesn't involve shooting or Exploring.
Least trustworthy: Tiff Scout Personality

>> No.45830580

>>45830464
>Least: Neptune. Wait, is she a friend? I'll count it anyway.
We have spent several days with her bumming around in Urist's head, we now count as one of Neptune's friends WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT!!!

>> No.45830627

>>45830457
>Yeah, there hasn't been a whole lot of time for dungeon runs lately, huh?
Maybe will get some down time once we leave the hyperdimension and the time before Arfoire's next part of her plan.

>> No.45830671

>>45830389
I'd feel most comfortable trusting Blanc or Rokko with something really important, but people like Estelle generally pull through for us as well. Least is absolutely Neptune. I'm not sure it's actually possible for her to acknowledge something as being a serious issue. She'd almost be more of an antagonist if it wasn't for times like when she helped us investigate that item shop.

>> No.45830706

>>45830561
...Doesn't have an unreliable personality make it impossible for Tiff to be considered reliable?

>> No.45830723

>>45830671
>Neptune as an antagonist
Do you have any idea what would happen?

>> No.45830742

>>45830723
Pudding everywhere?

>> No.45830765

>>45830464
I think Neptune is a friend. She likes us, at least, and considers us HER friend, so why not. She means well, usually, if nothing else.

>> No.45830781

>>45830742

Guess we better pull out the ultimate weapon.

Eggplant pudding.

>> No.45830814

>>45830723
if she was deliberately trying to be an antagonist?
>Never seen not in HDD
>Conquers stuff, forces the production of pudding
>when faced with the protagonists, she loses immediately
>protagonists/audience are utterly confused
> so confused that the plot is forced to make a villain POV storyline with Neptune as the "protagonist", therefore retaking the MC spot.

>> No.45830824

>>45830781
no thats the evil plan we would be stopping in nep the villian

>> No.45830845
File: 1.56 MB, 1680x1050, 353270_2015-11-03_00002.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45830845

>>45830742
No, she would keep those for herself.

Memes everywhere.

>> No.45830850

>>45830723
An antagonist doesn't have to be knowingly an enemy. She's been slowly erasing us from our own brain for a while now and doesn't understand the simple concept of "Don't do anything that raises our Nep level", so that makes her a threat, even if she doesn't mean it. Who knows what might have happened to us if we hadn't somehow astral projected our way into her comatose body?

>> No.45830897

>>45830845
>The vein-pop anger marks are lined up with her D-Pad hair decs
Yes perfect

>> No.45831153
File: 209 KB, 753x664, 03.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45831153

File photo of Histy during this incident.

>> No.45831437
File: 50 KB, 600x337, Iexistanditdisgustsme.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45831437

Someone mentioned Spec Ops The Line a thew threads ago, what would She be like?

>> No.45831453

>>45831437
the hero gamindustri deserves

>> No.45831507

>>45831437

The moe personification of PTSD.

Seriously. Permanent thousand-yard stare, constantly jumpy, prone to bouts of extreme rage and/or depression, ability to drain all happiness within a certain radius from her.

>> No.45831532
File: 770 KB, 500x239, 2339649-tumblr_m9lrf8es3r1r5cmqwo1_500.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45831532

>>45831437
The Moe personification of PTSD.

>> No.45831551

>>45831153
She used to be a standard shooter adventurer, but she never quite recovered after what she did during the Console Wars...

She also hates all the other shooters like COD and Battlefield for being violent and glorifying war and death, somewhat hypocritically.

... I can't even begin to think what Call Of Duty is like.

>> No.45831557

>>45831507
HIVE MIND.

>> No.45831578

>>45831437
A shooter with a split personality: One perfectly sane Shooter Personification and one whiny "Hoolier than thou" pacifist, who takes an unproportional and unhealthy amount of time imaginig war crimes.

>> No.45831604
File: 90 KB, 1280x720, ss (2013-11-02 at 05.18.57).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45831604

>>45831507
You rang?

>> No.45831641
File: 54 KB, 796x245, Arma.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45831641

>>45831551

>> No.45831695

>>45831641
Honestly, with how many war games there are, you could probably have what's basically just a normal modern army squad if you put them all together.

>> No.45831732

>>45831641
Well, I prefer Arma being able to enforce reality around herself and having the skills of Dslyecxi.

>> No.45831780

>>45831732
I prefer her bugging the fuck out when trying to do things like enter buildings, cross bridges, put things inside of other things, etc

>> No.45831784

>>45831641
Arma would constantly mutter about 'motherfucking Kebabs' and always set up inordinately large amounts of automated Mortar systems before every mission or quest.

would also probably have some of the most idiotic summons that sometimes have moments of blistering billiance and abysmal stupidity.

Probably to the point that she's almost as Jaded as Exy.

Also Combined arms tactics up the Wazoo.

>> No.45831887

>>45831784
Is DayZ a part of Arma or it's own game? It has kind of a weird status.

>> No.45831897
File: 270 KB, 1280x720, arma3_dlc_zeus_screenshot_03.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45831897

>>45831784
Her EXE is probably Zeus Mode.

Or massed artillery fire.

Or massed Airstrikes.

>> No.45831925

>>45831887
Well, If I remember correctly, Mods do not count.

Also, too many zombie games.

>> No.45831977

Remove Kebab

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33vwhBxFK-U

>> No.45831991

>>45831925
daisy's a standalone now

>> No.45832037

>>45831991
Yes, but what has started as a mod, should count as a mod. Otherwise, you could say the same for other games who are derivates from others.

>> No.45832049

>>45831925
Technically, Tiff is a mod too.

>> No.45832053

>>45832037
Well, then TF2 wouldn't be here

>> No.45832089

>>45832037
counterstrike

>> No.45832094

>>45832037

>>45832049
>>45832053

Can't argue with that.

>> No.45832097
File: 268 KB, 1920x1080, fairy inna book.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832097

>>45830038
>[X] [SPLIT THE PARTY: UPPER LEVELS]
>[X] [BRING NEPGEAR]

You feel your eyebrow twitching, and CPU Purple Heart's pretty features twist into an annoyed frown. This is /your/ fortress- your first REAL fortress in (or out of) Gamindustri- and you'll be damned if you let it crumble to an end as a result of stupid, wacky, anime-esque antics (as opposed the result of the usual stupid, horrible, violently negligent dwarven antics).

Right. You make up your mind, even before Blanc shoots you a glance: in the hyperdimensional void, an outer wall breach is a much bigger problem than a punctured cavern seal, and it's not like whatever's down there will end up breaching two more cavern levels and a magma sea.

You'll look into the explosions up top, and Blanc goes down deep?

"Fine." CPU White Heart nods her agreement, hefting her battle maul from out of nowhere. Thrusters flare up from invisible points suspended inches from her skin, the goddess's feet no longer touch the ground- and then she takes off without another word, flying down toward the cavern levels.

Godspeed, Blanc.

You take another look around the storeroom. Shovel Knight's still out cold, snoring away, and you feel a pang of guilt for the younger adventurer. You'll have to find the time to talk to her about what happened out in the void, because really, it's a goddamned miracle that she made it out okay.

When you bring it up with Histoire, her Key Fragments seem to nod. =I'll keep an eye on her,= the book fairy promises. =It doesn't look like there's anything wrong with her, but I'll perform a deeper scan, just to be sure.=

Right. With that taken care of, you turn to your- or Neptune's- erstwhile younger sister and/or daughter, only to find that she's sitting in the corner, hugging her crude handmade toys in a way that makes you realize that she needs all the comfort you can get.

(Cont.)

>> No.45832118

>>45831925
But utilities like DFHack do, interestingly.
I wonder if Mojang can get abilities like MCEdit, Dynmap, and WorldPainter?
Honestly I just want to see some of her EX Drives. "/give Urist Twelfthbay 46 64!"

>> No.45832125
File: 582 KB, 595x1587, some sort of nep-like thing.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832125

>>45832097
... nnghk. You'd meant to have her stay behind, but /that/ curls up and withers away under mini-Nep's big worried eyes. For all she looks like a young teen, it's not hard to remember that she was only born/created/summoned just an hour or so ago. That makes her very young indeed.

You sigh and walk over to her, trying desperately to ignore how she lights up because you're paying attention to her again. C'mon, Nep Jr., up you get. Time to go bust some goddamn heads.

"O-Okay."

As you help her back to her feet, mindful of the flames, and start walking, you can't help but note that the mini-Nep, in her goddess form, is only a bit slightly shorter than CPU Purple Heart. It's easy to imagine what mini-Nep will look like in her "human" mode: she'd just be a shorter, younger Neptune, except more adorable and less annoying.

That's what you hope, anyway. Honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if wacky insanity was hardcoded into Planeptune's ruling nobility-

Mini-Nep shyly tugs on your arm. "Um, big sis..."

Huh? She's calling you th- er, you mean, what?

"I made these," she stammers at all once, showing you her handmade toys. "I'm sorry, I don't know if I was supposed to use that forge or not, but I just... I should have asked, but..."

You blink at the crude lumpy robot and a... sword, or maybe an anemic eggplant. Rookie quality, stuff that wouldn't rate triple digits in any trader's screen, and of course she used raw Seganium instead of converting that into threads and /then/ crafting stuff from it...

W-Well, no, that's fine. And, uh, it IS a great first effort, kid.

Surprise surprise, your praise comes out stilted. Which means you feel even worse when mini-Nep drinks it all in anyway, beaming like a kid who just won the lottery.

"Really!? Aah, I'm so glad..." Oh Armok, she's got little tears at the corners of her eyes, you can't even-

(Cont.)

>> No.45832149

>>45832125
>used raw Seganium instead of converting that into threads and /then/ crafting stuff from it...
shit, I did not know that's how sega shit worked

>> No.45832151

>>45832125
Wait, so Nepgear IS shorter than Neptune? I thought she was taller?

>> No.45832153
File: 37 KB, 428x793, mojangshuuuuu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832153

>>45832125
- do anything but stop in your tracks as Mojang comes barreling around the corner, one hand pressed against her nose and the other scrabbling against the wall as she tries not to lose even one iota of speed. Her eyes are literally spirals (how does she even do that??), and the entire front of her hoodie is streaked with blood, the stain shaped in a way that leads you to believe it all fountained down from her nose.

Goddammit, Neptune, what the hell did you /do/.

"Oh, thank the goddesses," Mojang wheezes, darting behind you so fast it makes your head spin. "Urist! Urist, you're in there, right? You're in CPU Purple Heart??"

Y... yeah? What's-

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" your surrogate little sister gabbles, shaking her head in denial. "I tried to stop her, I really tried, but she insisted, and I can't even get close to her because I just- I can't-"

"Mo~ja~ng!"

You freeze up. That- there's absolutely /no way/.

"Come on, Mojang, stop hiding! And stop blowing things up, jeez!"

- your voice doesn't sound like that at all, holy hell, it's all cutesy and high-pitched and it's /Neptune/ using your goddamned voice-

Neptune's head- YOUR head, long braids and all- peeks in from around the corner, brown eyes glittering with mischief. "There you are! C'mon, we have to keep trying out new outfits on Urist! For the sake of your big sis~!"

She skips- /skips/- into view, and your breath catches in your throat, throttled to death by your all-encompassing rage and/or embarrassment.

(Cont.)

>> No.45832183
File: 74 KB, 701x1200, becc658d628ae0d81eabcdfe923493f7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832183

>>45832153
Really, it's not so much what she's got your body wearing, and more what she DOESN'T have your body wearing. A shirt, for one thing. Pants, for another. Your flat midriff's bare, and so are your legs, your goddamn /legs/, Neptune slipped your goddamned body into nothing more than lingerie and she's prancing around with more skin than a mandatory beach episode and holy fucking hell-

Somehow, through some fell and foul sorcery, Neptune has gotten your body wearing black cat lingerie. /Cat lingerie/, complete with that stupid cleavage cutout shaped like a cat's head, showing far more skin than you'd ever comfortable with no matter how much alcohol you down.

Neptune notices your presence only after she hops in place, one leg bent and hands curled like cat's paws. Bouncing does indeed occur, and you deeply regret eating so much dwarven cheese to give yourself enough of a chest for that to happen. Only then does she freeze, her eyes wide in shock and- possibly- dawning horror.

You hear a strangled choking sound from behind you, easily identifiable as Mojang.

It's adorable.

You are going to murder Neptune.

[ ] [CLOTHES, NOW] Grab Neptune, drag her into a room, and force her to wear some goddamned clothes because WHY THIS.
[ ] [DESPERATELY IGNORE] ... this isn't happening. None of this is happening. You will talk to Neptune and Mojang like a civilized being, ask about the explosions, and not give the Nep the satisfaction of your murderous reaction, which you will save until later.
[ ] [BLOW HER MIND] You know what? Fine. You'll just destroy Neptune's mind by introducing her to her brand new sister. REVENGE, MOTHERFUCKER
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.45832216

>>45832183
>[x] [WRITE-IN] Nuclear option.

All of those options are WAY too calm for Urist.

>> No.45832218

>>45832183
[WRITE IN]

Kill.

>> No.45832221

>>45832183
[ ] [BLOW HER MIND] You know what? Fine. You'll just destroy Neptune's mind by introducing her to her brand new daughter. REVENGE, MOTHERFUCKER

Name her too to deny her that

>> No.45832227

>>45832149
I was thinking "crap, am I supposed to be doing that when I make crafts to sell in my fortress?"
I've learned a surprising amount from Urist. LIFO, there's no such thing as stone beds, training bolts can get stuck in your inventory, walls are indestructible, daylight adaption can cause dwarves to go into a weird happy-thoughts strange mood involving stalagmites next time they go back underground...

>> No.45832231

>>45832183
>[ ] [CLOTHES, NOW] Grab Neptune, drag her into a room, and force her to wear some goddamned clothes because WHY THIS.

>> No.45832235

>>45832183
>[X] [BLOW HER MIND] You know what? Fine. You'll just destroy Neptune's mind by introducing her to her brand new sister. REVENGE, MOTHERFUCKER
>[X] [WRITE-IN] EXPLAIN MINI-NEP's PARENTAGE

So, technically that is your big sis's mind inside our body, and our mind is trapped in your big sis's body, and we're trying to switch bodies, SO SHE CAN SHARE ALL HER PUDDING WITH YOU.

>> No.45832237

>>45832183

>>45832218
>>45832216

Seconding.

>> No.45832244

>>45832183
>[ ] [CLOTHES, NOW] Grab Neptune, drag her into a room, and force her to wear some goddamned clothes because WHY THIS.
>[ ] [BLOW HER MIND] You know what? Fine. You'll just destroy Neptune's mind by introducing her to her brand new sister. REVENGE, MOTHERFUCKER
>[ ] [Eggplant] Tell her you ate some eggplants.

>> No.45832248

>>45832183
>>45832216
Backing

>> No.45832250

[X] [CLOTHES, NOW] Grab Neptune, drag her into a room, and force her to wear some goddamned clothes because WHY THIS.


> You'll just destroy Neptune's mind by introducing her to her brand new sister.
Don't you mean OUR new sister Urist? We ain't handin' her over that quick.

>>45832227
That's how you use Adamantine

>> No.45832258

>>45832216

I will enjoy this.

>> No.45832268

>>45832183

>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>Beat the fuck out of her. Full dwarven RAGE. It's your body anyways, you have every right to self-abuse.

>> No.45832275

>>45832183
>[ ] [WRITE-IN] Use the sword crafted from raw Seganium to transfer your Consciousness

After you both touched the sword and your minds were zapped back.

>[ ] [CLOTHES, NOW] Grab Neptune, drag her into a room, and force her to wear some goddamned clothes because WHY THIS.

While distracting Nep with

>[ ] [BLOW HER MIND] You know what? Fine. You'll just destroy Neptune's mind by introducing her to her brand new sister. REVENGE, MOTHERFUCKER

>> No.45832276

>>45832216
>>45832268
>>45832218


Calmness is overrated.

thi

>> No.45832280

>>45832183
>[ ] [CLOTHES, NOW] Grab Neptune, drag her into a room, and force her to wear some goddamned clothes because WHY THIS.

>> No.45832290

So trap her in a eggplant idol then?

>> No.45832296

>>45832216

Yeah, we need to be true to form. ENGAGE EXE.

>> No.45832305

>>45832183
[PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE AND/OR STOMACH, AND SCREW THE REPERCUSSIONS LATER]

The gut reaction is always the best. Plus Urist may never have another chance to physically assault her arch nemesis, her own cuteness.

>> No.45832309

>>45832290
Trap sounds so permanent.

I LIKE IT.

>> No.45832310

>>45832290
or is that just the start?

>> No.45832321

>>45832216

Something Violent.

>> No.45832333

>>45832218
>>45832216
This.

>> No.45832334

>>45832216

This or seduce.

>> No.45832345

>>45832216
Would be stabbing/slashing Nep with the Raw Seganium sword be a sufficient reaction?

>> No.45832367

>>45832218
>>45832216

Summon the emotion of Boatmurderd

>> No.45832375

>>45832183
>[X] [CLOTHES, NOW] Grab Neptune, drag her into a room, and force her to wear some goddamned clothes because WHY THIS.

>> No.45832376

[X] Flirt

>> No.45832386

>>45832334
We don't have time for seduction! If Blanc comes back and learns we have a bigger chest, she'll. . .

No, then we'd be stuck in this form forever, and we'd have to. . .

All in favor of having Blanc kill the old us, and living a new life as a Goddess?

>> No.45832389

>>45832309
>This is a Seganium statue of an eggplant. All materials are of the highest quality. On the statue is a picture of Neptune the Dwarf Fortress, Mojang the Minecrafter, and Urist the CPU. The Dwarf Fortress is screaming. The Minecrafter is crying. The CPU is laughing.

>> No.45832391

>>45832345
You mean eggplant right

>> No.45832392

>>45832216

>Do Goddess Level Summon.
>Summon Armok.

>> No.45832409

>>45832216
I want- whatever it may be.

>> No.45832414

I think Blorp forgot how violent we are.

>> No.45832430

>>45832386

if we rape ourselves would it count as masturbation?

>> No.45832446

>>45832414

No kidding.

Opting for:
>>45832216
>>45832218
>>45832268

>> No.45832462 [SPOILER] 
File: 2.23 MB, 631x325, 1457242984288.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832462

>>45832430

>> No.45832492

>>45832305
>[PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE AND/OR STOMACH, AND SCREW THE REPERCUSSIONS LATER]

This. Really just sock her right in the gut, goddess power and all, just like we did to the MOBAs way back when.

>> No.45832503

>>45832216

>[RAGE]

>> No.45832511
File: 12 KB, 400x400, 1456725144575.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832511

Welp, looks like going nuclear on Neptune is the winning vote!

WRITING

>> No.45832538

>>45832430
No, because of a second sapient being is still involved. I'm not sure the physics of Gamindustri even allow those kinds of actions. The physics of Dwarf Fortress certainly don't Also, ew.

>> No.45832554
File: 849 KB, 480x246, tmp_13372-1457198377750-569762028.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832554

>>45832511
LET IT BEGIN!

>> No.45832556

>>45832235
>This
>Then hit Nep with the seganium toy.

>> No.45832563
File: 387 KB, 269x270, 1380448241372.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832563

>>45832511

>> No.45832583

>>45832183
How accurate is that pic in representing lingeried Urist?
I need to know for reasons.

>> No.45832613

>>45832583
Not very. She's closer to B-cup than D-cup.

>> No.45832614

Man, I hope we get a side story detailing these last few threads from Mojang's perspective at some point. I need that in my life.

Urist giggles.
>[PANIC]
>[PANIC]
>[IT'S HAPPENING]
>[PANIC]
>[YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS]
>[PANIC]
>[SSSSSSSSS]

>> No.45832628

Nuclear as in violent or nuclear as in "Iris Heart having a bad day"?

>> No.45832653

>>45832628
Nuclear in the physical sense.

Goodbye Hyperdimension. You were a good fort (mostly).

>> No.45832660
File: 129 KB, 243x256, 1444222494850.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832660

>>45832628

>> No.45832676
File: 262 KB, 460x258, tmp_13372-1457214357876-704900879.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832676

>>45832628
Allow me to illustrate.

>> No.45832677

>>45832628
Nuclear is in wild, as in breaking down inside, as in a heart of broken glass defiled, deep inside the abandoned child.

>> No.45832680

>>45832628
Seriously, I dislike Iris Heart, But in this case it is still Urists body so this is one of the few occasions where I would prefer BDSM done stupid over assured permanent physical damage.

>> No.45832701

>>45832583
I'm pretty sure we're like half that tall.

>> No.45832707

>>45832583
Not particularly accurate, since the hair's different- should be in braids. And her bust is too big. And she's too tall.

Hell, the only thing they have in common is the long brown hair and the outfit, honestly.

>>45832628
Well, she's not going to murder Neptune, or deal permanent physical damage, or deal permanent psychological damage!

>> No.45832732

>violent nuclear
She's used to this from Histy. Verbally, at least, and I'm not sure she's going to dislike the physical punishment.

>> No.45832746

>>45832707
>not going to deal permanent psychological damage!

Honestly, that's obeying the letter of the law but not the spirit.

>> No.45832752

>>45832680
I think we're all kind of assuming Blorp won't let us actually accidently kill our body by attacking it with all the might of a goddess.

But can you imagine if we not only killed Neptune on accident, but trapped yourself in her body in the process? Oh, geez.
>Urist Twelvebay (goddess) has gone insane!

>> No.45832771

>>45832746
I don't think it's for lack of Urist trying. I'm pretty sure Neptune is just too Neptune to understand how to be traumatized properly.

>> No.45832772

>>45832752
But then we can keep Nepgear. Sure we might not be a dwarf and we'll eventually have to deal with the fact that we killed the only person keeping the Console Wars from firing back up, but we keep the little sister. Score!

>> No.45832780

>>45832511
Blorp, I trust you as a TG quest writer that you don't let this decision seduce you into calling down big reprecussions upon us Anons.
So please don't have the body of urist sustaine permanent or semi-permanent damage.

>> No.45832813

>>45832780
her maidenhood will receive permanent damage

>> No.45832847

Neptune will just be force-fed ALL the eggplants in our fortress. Not all with her mouth

>> No.45832859

>>45832813
And how many times will Mojang explode during?

>> No.45832873
File: 58 KB, 752x752, 1439525018210.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832873

>>45832859

>> No.45832896

>>45832847
Well, she has 5 orifices (or 7, if Blorp deems that Anime logik include the earholes.).

>> No.45832912

>>45832780
>sometime later, after the dust has settled, Urist finds that she has an eggplant-shaped scar she doesn't remember inflicting.

>> No.45832930

>>45832896
...Are you counting two nostrils or two eye sockets?

>> No.45832935
File: 41 KB, 160x343, Lewd ears.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832935

>>45832896
That isn't anime logic. That is hentai logic.

>> No.45832936

>>45832772
We're keeping Nepgear anyway.
RIGHT?

>> No.45832960

>>45832936
Do you really think we're going to win that fight when we're back in our original body?

>> No.45832967
File: 2.11 MB, 382x369, tmp_13372-scream-976603976.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45832967

>Urist turns to Nepgear and, in the brightest and most cheerful tone imaginable, says "Go play with your Forge, sweetie. You don't need to see this."
>she does not stop smiling once the screaming starts
>or once it ends

>> No.45832990

>>45832967
>Nepgear doesn't leave
>She stays
>She watches
>She learns

>> No.45832996

>>45832930
Nostrils.

>> No.45832999

>>45832935
"Goodness human females have altogether too many lewd holes!"

Who the fuck is this translator?

>> No.45833018

>>45832999
Probably CGrascal.

>> No.45833049

>>45832999
Well the person in question is supposed to be a slug in human form.

http://exhentai.org/g/651893/ea04f4158b/

>> No.45833122

I don't get this anymore, are we gonna kill her? Maim her? Or Have hawt angry lez shex with Neppy?

>> No.45833148

>>45833122
>Or Have hawt angry lez shex with Neppy?
Don't tempt us.

>> No.45833179

>>45833122
No one knows, but it's probably going to be comedic beat-down. Standard anime shenanigans.

>> No.45833186

>>45832990
Best daughter.

>> No.45833193

>>45833122
We're going to try and put the fear of Armok in her. And fail, of course, because she's Neptune, but still.

>> No.45833232

>>45832990
> You know, if Nepgear ends up as a semi-permanent party member, I'd be really chuffed.

Gonna be hell to explain that we were possessed by Neptune though... Wait.

Put Neptune's mind into that statue Nepgear made!

>> No.45833387

>>45833122
We're going to spontaneously summon a hoard of eggplant-men, and then force her to watch as we let them have their way with Nep's body.
There's no shame left for us anymore. Why contain it.

>> No.45833440

>>45828236
Why did you stop running Blorpquest way back, man? That shit was good.

>> No.45833477

>>45833440
I'd pretend to be offended at the implication that this quest isn't good, but since you're quoting the OP I'm assuming you aren't actually following the quest anyway.

>> No.45833555

yaay I'm in time I wooke up in time, caught up with the thread with an hour left to spare before blorp falls off his chaiiiiir
>>45832183

>> No.45833602

>>45833555
It's been 40 minutes since his last post, I'm starting to think he's already fallen out of his "chaiiiiir".

>> No.45833637
File: 721 KB, 227x165, 1442985529018.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45833637

>>45833602
He's probably still figuring out how violent Urist should be.

Orrrr he's figuring out how badly we screwed up.

>> No.45833661

>>45833602
okay fine then! *Seganium Chair*

>> No.45833677
File: 1.16 MB, 250x250, 1456072563921.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45833677

>>45832183
>[X] [TANTRUM SPIRAL]

It's difficult to describe your feelings right at this moment. That would imply that there are parts of your brain left that aren't currently devoted to processing your burning rage at this- this disturbingly sexy violation of your image.

Or grappling with just how easily your body seemed to snap right back into cloying girly cuteness, without your mind in there to keep it all at bay. Or crying internally over the deep-seated injustice of the universe that forces you to risk life and limb to keep Neptune's body safe, and allows /her/ to play dress-up in your body and absolutely traumatize Mojang until she explodes repeatedly.

With an effort, you push down all your frustration, even though you can feel yourself fraying at the edges, because... no. No, you're- you're okay. You've got bigger things to worry about. You take a deep breath.

"U... Urist!" Neptune sags with relief, bouncing on her heels with her hands to the side. It's a classic Neptune pose, but it looks absolutely surreal on you- doubly so, when she's got your face all cheery and mischievous, instead of the guarded annoyance you usually see in the mirror. And then there's the /other/ bouncing. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon!"

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"I was just taking this chance to see what you'd look like in other outfits!" Neptune continues, completely missing Mojang frantically shaking her head. "I mean, you look super cute! You should flaunt what you have, girl!"

Deep breaths, deep breaths-

"Live a little! Don't just wear boring armor all day!" Neptune winks and thrusts out a hip, really getting into the swing of things. "Change it up with a skirt! Show off some leg! Show a little cleavage!"

(Cont.)

>> No.45833699
File: 117 KB, 552x733, 1454744492016.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45833699

>>45833677
On hindsight, you do realize that Neptune didn't really mean anything by her next words. She can't possibly have known your brief, violent history with the adventurers representing Gnomoria and Craft The World: two girls like yourself, except they embraced Gamindustri's cutesy bullshit, whereas you emphatically did not.

Neptune just tosses out another brief stupid quip, the type she usually tosses out like candy.

"All the cool dwarves are doing it!"

Except that's all it takes.

>Urist Twelfthbay is throwing a tantrum!
>Urist Twelfthbay cancels converse: throwing tantrum.

Everything seems to happen, all at once.

It's like you don't even run, or dash, or even fly; it's just that your body moves fast enough that the rest of the world gets the fuck out of your way. Neptune's eyes- your own brown eyes- don't even get the chance to widen before you grab her by the face and heft her up like so much meat and cloth, ignoring her muffled exclamations and her frantic flailing.

Through a red haze, you try to tell her something about clothes and lingerie and cats, but it comes out as wordless screaming. You slam her down the corridor against the wall and the world spins and eventually there's no more wall just broken stone and you're out in the sunlight and in the sky and Neptune hasn't stopped flying! So you grab her again and you really feel like throwing something so you catch up to her and you grab her again and you really feel like throwing something so you catch up to her and you grab her again and you really feel like throwing something so you catch up to her and-

>Bug Tracker: tantruming loop identified.
>DF Hack: tweak tavern-brawl-throwing

- and you headbutt her in the gut, except you're both still flying fast enough and HIGH enough that she seems to wrap around your goddamned head. Easily solved- you simply fly straight into the ground and flip her off so hard that she goes tumbling across the landscape like a spare, screaming tire.

(Cont.)

>> No.45833738

This is EVERYTHING I WANTED!

>> No.45833761
File: 1.86 MB, 404x557, 1456645992575.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45833761

>>45833699
Purple fire streaming off you like some sort of brightly burning divine beacon of FUCK EVERYTHING, you follow Neptune and cage yoursel around her like the fist of an angry goddess, toying with your prey. The earth shatters beneath the impact, and-

>Urist Twelfthbay has calmed down.

- and you run out of steam just when you've got Neptune pinned against the ground, kneeling over her with her wrists stretched above her head.

Distantly, you hear Mini-Nep catching up to the two of you, and she STARTS to say something close to "Stop fighti-" before it cuts off with a scandalized squeak.

... seriously, it's not nearly as suggestive a tableau as it sounds. For one, Neptune's face is a distinct shade of green: you've introduced her to a potent mix of whiplash, high-speed airsickness, gut-punch-sickness, and the crippling nausea that comes from being cave adapted and then exposed to sunlight.

For another, that damn cat lingerie is half in tatters, and what's left is pretty much covered up by dirt and mud. Hell, you're both covered in the stuff. Even with Gamindustri's laws of physics as they are, you are supremely confident that there is absolutely nothing attractive about two girls covered in dirt and mud, so you've effectively destroyed Neptune's efforts to make you look ~cute~.

Winded, disoriented, and fighting down a rebellious stomach, Neptune still tries to say /something/ here, her eyes spinning wildly. "N... now neither of us will be virg-"

You feel a distinct sense of satisfaction of watching Neptune being messily sick all over everything, although it's mostly herself.

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

>> No.45833797

>>45833477
This quest is probably also good, but I'm not really super into it.

>> No.45833803
File: 17 KB, 512x512, end.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45833803

OKAY, it's getting pretty late, so I'm calling it here!

Next thread will be on WEDNESDAY, 3/9, at 8-ish pm EST! Updates to scheduling will go to twitter.com/BlorpQuest, while questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest.

Right guys, catch you all next time! Hope you enjoyed the thread, and thanks for participating! god help me what the hell did i just write up there

>> No.45833804

>>45833761
hahaha

I didn't want to tantrum neptune, but this is just as good.

>> No.45833807
File: 227 KB, 274x385, Laughing Dante.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45833807

>>45833761
>"N... now neither of us will be virg-"

>> No.45833808

>>45833761
Well.. that went better than I expected.
Also, it is now ~ 8 am here, so I have had a good start into the day.

>> No.45833854

>>45833761
This is going to hurt when we swap back.

>> No.45833864

>>45833440
Honestly, it was a combination of RL subsuming all of my free time, and the discovery that when you stop writing a quest for a while, it can be really hard to get back in if too much time passes.

It also didn't help that I was flying by the seat of my pants even moreso than I do now, or that I was using a pretty terrible dice system.

I'd love to do something like EVO Quest again, but I don't know if I'd be able to recapture whatever made that particular quest absolutely insane. Sorry, man.

>> No.45833868

>>45833803
You wrote justice, Blorp. Sweet sweet dwarven justice.

>> No.45833901

>>45833803
Thanks for running, Blorp! Sleep well!

>> No.45833937

>>45833864
Well, I think a paraphrase of something Tolkin said says it all:
>"If I would have written The Hobbit after I wrote The Lord of the Rings, it would have come out very differently."

>> No.45834112

>>45833699
>Through a red haze, you try to tell her something about clothes and lingerie and cats, but it comes out as wordless screaming. You slam her down the corridor against the wall and the world spins and eventually there's no more wall just broken stone and you're out in the sunlight and in the sky and Neptune hasn't stopped flying! So you grab her again and you really feel like throwing something so you catch up to her and you grab her again and you really feel like throwing something so you catch up to her and you grab her again and you really feel like throwing something so you catch up to her and-
magnificent

>> No.45834259

>>45833761
>f. Even with Gamindustri's laws of physics as they are, you are supremely confident that there is absolutely nothing attractive about two girls covered in dirt and mud, so you've effectively destroyed Neptune's efforts to make you look ~cute~.
completely incorrect

Anyway now that we've had our punch-fun we should go into the uniform screen and fix that shit

>> No.45834286

So, what glitch is that? I don't follow dorf fort too heavily outside of the devfeed rss, so I feel like I'm missing a crazy story here.
Like how I had to look up the whole "Falling onto a wood spike grants you a shitton of experience" thing

>> No.45834293

I don't know what bounciness is there in B-cups, but if both Urist and Neptune can have some, if it works it works.
Also, those cleavage window bras are sexier on DFC than on titty monsters. We should get one on Blanc.

>> No.45834513

>>45834286
DF is kind of infamous for dwarves entering states where they're too emotionally charged to control, but their actions done while emotionally charged either perpetuates it or causes it for other dwarves before the dwarf in question gets his/herself killed. Or BECAUSE the dwarf gets his/herself killed.

>> No.45834546

>>45834513
I meant to question about this bit specifically >>45834112 which just feels like it's referring to some ridiculous bug report involving grapples and throws.
Not about how tantrums work

>> No.45834584

>>45834546
I don't play it either but I'm guessing
>Urist wants to throw Neptune
>Urist throws Neptune
BEFORE Neptune can land, therefore "sating" Urist's desire to throw Neptune:
>Urist wants to throw Neptune
>Urist travels to Neptune to pick her up
>Urist throws Neptune
and in all this, because Neptune does not actually land, none of the throws actually "resolve", so Urist is just getting more and more impatient about wanting to throw Neptune.

>> No.45834761 [SPOILER] 
File: 8 KB, 315x106, 1457251879743.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45834761

>>45834584
By the way, about naming our fortress.

There really can only be one name for a hyperdimensional fortress, right?

>> No.45834854

>>45834761
Yes there can be only one name, but I would prefer we named it when more Anons are still around.

>> No.45835324
File: 1.05 MB, 1280x1024, Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45835324

I MISSED THE THREAD?
I MISSED THE THREAD!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

>> No.45835441

>>45835324
oh wow arfie doesn't look bad at all here, she just has a terrible taste in clothing.

>> No.45835476
File: 1.33 MB, 516x465, Accurate depiction of a tantrum spiral.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45835476

>>45832614

>> No.45835535

>>45835441
And make-up.
With better clothes and less mascara, she could be pretty hot.

>> No.45835605
File: 128 KB, 850x835, 0aa70bc33fb054363fee2ee26a71e5b2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45835605

Things to do next thread :
>clean Neptune (tie a rope to her waist, throw her in a body of water, shake her a bit and pull her out, no need to be gentle),
>pet Nepgear's head and apologize for acting like that in front of her,
>make sure Blanc doesn't see Urist's naked body, these boobs must stay a secret,
>recover your body,
>learn to use Therapist to erase everyone's memories,
>destroy any evidence that this happened,
>explain Nepgear that boobalicious sexy woman isn't you, you're the small midget with almost no boobs but you love her nonetheless,
>return to Lowee,
>save the world somehow,
>kick Arfoire in the crotch for everything bad that happened to you,

Am I forgetting something?

>> No.45835624
File: 1.37 MB, 3843x2162, 1457053376541.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45835624

>>45835535

>> No.45835635

>>45835605
Swapping back to our real body.

>> No.45835638

>>45835624
Funny, it looks like a mix between the usual HDD swimsuit and a bridal gown.

>> No.45835653

>>45835635
>recover your body,

>> No.45835659

>>45835605
I'd reorder that
>drag Neptune (tie a rope made to her waist and drag her across the dirt)
>Use therapist to wipe Mojang's memory
>go to still and douse Neptune in alcohol. No way we want to wake up in our body sober.
>Apologize, explain, and say "goodbye" to Nepgear
>swap body
>Wear armor
>drink some more
>BACK IN BUSINESS

>> No.45835666

You guys do realize that once Neptune will be back in her body, it'll be with Purple Heart's personality?
Don't fuck with her too much or you'll all regret it.

>> No.45835695

>>45835666
we don't need to. Nepgear is watching.

>> No.45835700

>>45835695
But Neptune doesn't know who Nepgear is.

>> No.45835728
File: 1.08 MB, 2304x1728, Histoire using books.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45835728

>>45835700
This.

>>45835605
>>45835659
You two need to add "protect NepJr from Neptune".

>> No.45835733

>>45835700
>looks like her
>slightly smaller
even Neptune can put 2 and 2 together.

>> No.45835742

>>45835733
You're overestimating Neptune.

>> No.45835761

>>45835733
>>45835742
I wish I had the 'I was pretending to be retarded for 7 years' image with Neptune and Nepgear in it, but I don't.

The point is, she CAN be smart and get serious if she wants, she just usually doesn't.

>> No.45835789
File: 1.09 MB, 1280x720, New canvas.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45835789

>>45835761
Sorry, I have trouble believing that when I read that part about her walking around in lingerie.
At least she's likeable in that story.

>> No.45835803

>>45835761
>>45835789
Yeah, I'm not sure mk2 Neptune is the character we're dealing with.

>> No.45835831

>>45835803
Dunno, Histoire doesn't seem all that powerful, and the goddess aren't that close, so maybe it's the Hyperdimension way before the game happens.

Or maybe it's another dimension alltogether where the CPUs aren't sisters, the candidates don't exists, and Arfoire isn't the Icon of Sin

>> No.45835977

>>45835831
it is another dimension... No sisters "that would be just silly" as I recall from the first thread. And neptune is cute and ... yeah this neptune is totally neptune.

>> No.45835999
File: 28 KB, 135x144, Cute.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45835999

>>45835977
>neptune is cute
Neptune's always cute. Except when she's out of character.

>No sisters
[Manly tears.jpg]

>> No.45836072

>>45835999
Could be... The last time I saw her I was playing victory/Rebirth 3 and I'm not done with that yet.

>> No.45836236
File: 275 KB, 722x760, f028.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45836236

>>45836072
Can't be the Ultradimension, there's no Plutia and the world is shared between the 4 CPUs.

>> No.45836435

>>45828263
>"I see. I must still be sleeping."
You know things are bad when even Histoire who's more or less a hivemind is in denial.

>> No.45836555

>>45835605
Yeah.
>teach Nepgear to forge

>> No.45836940
File: 30 KB, 135x144, 1457258331659.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45836940

>>45835999

>> No.45836987
File: 610 KB, 1050x650, 21d88e1bc681460acf4363cf8719aaee.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45836987

So anons , what other good Quests you know? I kinda finally decided to read , I know it's kinda /rec/ , but there is too goddamn many of them on archive.

>> No.45837007

>>45836987
>good Quests
Neptunia is the only one I can tolerate because the characters are cute. The others are just too random, shitty, or are about characters I don't know enough to jump in.

>> No.45837021

>>45836987
what are you looking for?

>> No.45837098

>>45837021
Looking for same Part Comedy/part whatever goes in this quest.Not too big on Grimdark though.Waifuing is allowed, if its kept in check

>> No.45837406

>>45837098
Oversized Weapon
Less thinking/SCIENCE, more reliance on sheer luck and cuteness compared to Hyperdimension DF.

comedy, comedy....hmm. A few have more grimdark than comedy. You know what, I'm just going to look at the archive instead of relying on memory.

that yordle drawquest?

Maverick Hunter is very heavily rooted in it's megaman lore, so the barrier is high.

Devil Summoner? ehhhh might not be what you're looking for.

Dungeon Life has SOME good comedy, but it's by no means the focus.

Knight Apprentice.....dead, though.

Weird Lizard Thing. For sure.

ahh, can't believe it took me this long: Holy Sword

Extranatural Enforcer Quest, Deniable Assets Quest

>> No.45837448
File: 249 KB, 1422x1000, 619fcfde451a5408c292f43c328cf60a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45837448

>>45837406
Thanks anon, I appreciate it

>> No.45837501
File: 1.77 MB, 1920x1080, 1455279559050.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45837501

Neptune just wants to be loved, that's all.

>> No.45837602

>thread hasn't even reached autosage it's already on sup/tg/ archive
Yeah, I think I figured how that archive worked out, turns out I don't.

>> No.45837667

>>45837602
it saves a thread when someone fills out the form.

>> No.45837714

>>45837667
So what do we do now? Trash talk Blorp?

>> No.45837757

>>45837714
sage, if you haven't noticed.

And I wasn't going to mention it, but the fact that you're requesting here and not in wqdt AND that you're just bumping the thread for literally no reason now...

I'm gonna call you a faggit, k?

>> No.45837765

>>45837757
I don't want to sage.

>> No.45838144

>>45832151
She is. Urist just hasn't seen her outside her goddess mode.

Should be a fun surprise.

>> No.45838167

>>45838144
This is going to be real fun. Nepgear does have some breasts too, right? Blanc's anger will be hilarious.

>> No.45838171

>>45835476
Yay, someone caught the reference.

>> No.45838188
File: 850 KB, 1850x1128, 1443852265124.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45838188

>>45838144
She is taller, what the fuck are you talking about?

>> No.45838194

>>45837406
Seconding Oversized Weapon Quest, it's probably the closest thing to HDDFQ.

>> No.45838198

>>45838144
Nope Normal mode NepGear is taller then NormNeptune

>> No.45838218

>>45833761
>"N... now neither of us will be virg-"
I love you Nepnep, with that in mind we'll build you a huge Sega Eggplant to hold you for a little bit.

We'll even get Nepgear to help.

>> No.45838231

>>45838218
An eggplant-shaped sarcophage.

>> No.45838279 [DELETED] 

>>45838167
>>45838188
I was saying she IS taller than Neptune. Urist just hasn't seen her human form yet.

Reading comprehension, do you have it?

>> No.45838307

>>45838218
I don't want to let go of our daughterfu, I don't.
I mean she primarily used guns in games, and is implied here , to have gunsmith skill.
.... We need to restrain Neps influence.

>> No.45838311

>>45838279
And I was referring to Urist, back in her old body, with her "little sister" looking down on her.
Reading comprehension, motherfucker, do you have it?

>> No.45838361

>>45838218
Actually, Nepgear's doll and its accessories are made of that Seganium. We can use one of those accessories to switch the bodies back.

After we fix the hole in the wall Urist made.

>> No.45838446

>>45838361
>Nepgear being useful
Hahahahaa no way.

>> No.45838456
File: 1.49 MB, 1680x1050, 353270_2015-11-03_00005.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45838456

>>45838446

>> No.45838492
File: 230 KB, 1280x720, 1456020467118.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45838492

>>45838456
Is it written in gameindustri's source code : Nepgear cannot be useful.
Something will happen, and her toys will explode or something like that.

And then she'll cry and she will be adorable as hell.

>> No.45838522
File: 1.34 MB, 1680x1050, 351710_2015-05-29_00002.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45838522

>>45838492

>> No.45838541

>>45838522
Nepgear is cute when she's innocent, and she's even cuter when she's crying.

>> No.45838610

>>45838446
That's canon Nepgear, but what about an Urist-raised Nepgear?

>> No.45838639
File: 105 KB, 480x360, vlcsnap-2015-06-10-21h27m12s438.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45838639

>>45838610
I'm suddenly very afraid for Nepgear's liver here.

And suddenly, I feel like playing a survival game where you forge your own shit.

>> No.45838931

>>45838361
Nah we need a chunk as big as we can make it, according to Histoire.

>> No.45839080

>>45838931
Let's not melt Nepgear's first creations.

>> No.45839862

>>45836987
Ogre Civilization or Evo quest Both are blorp's creation (the latter being the source of his name)

>> No.45840258

It's always fun to think how various franchises will look as girls.
For Example :Asscreed
Started at Graveyard, buggy as hell,, but showing promise, she eventually became that is today, boring girl with " I will just stay here in my highly conspicuous costume in a middle if the crowd" stealth...Although She is better Sailor than Assassin
at least Metal Gear has cardboard.

>> No.45840277

>>45840258
There's already David Hayter in the games.

I'm more interested in Hatred-chan and Stronghold-chan.

>> No.45840346

>>45840277
Good Old Stronghold? Man, She will be excellent base defender. In fact I think she will laugh maniacally,while burning everything with oil. She also knows how to make Beer

>> No.45840364

>>45840346
She also has some insane siege engines (like the trebuchet, not even Age of Empires can compare) and lots of troops for every situation.
Too bad the sequels were shit.

>> No.45840401

>>45840346
>Good Old Stronghold? Man, She will be excellent base defender. In fact I think she will laugh maniacally,while burning everything with oil.
She can attack with fortifications: She can literally surround enemies with them while her troops rain arrows from the ramparts.

fucking loved that game (only played crusader tho, but it doesn't matter to me)

>> No.45840423

>>45840401
Crusader is pretty much an improvement over vanilla Stronghold.
Some Anons think the mercenaries are too OP and are pretty much a "I WIN" button and they're right, but they still add unit variety without becoming a clusterfuck like in Crusader 2.

>> No.45840654
File: 2.31 MB, 636x358, 0812_5d14.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45840654

>>45840364
I know how will be excellent siege engine constructor.
Besiege-tan. Buuut she will be a little insane ..and prone to making dick jokes...and generally genocidal.... And only capable of making Killing contraptions....We don't really need her

>> No.45840717

>>45840654
At least you spared us the Nazi incinerator.

>>
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