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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.44291959 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.

While that makes you a dwarf(-ish sort of creature), you ARE the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, so you technically represent /every/ damn creature found in your game. F'r instance, your summons give form to everything from felines to animal men to forgotten beasts, and you're reasonably sure you can channel the respective powers and abilities of the other sentient creatures populating your "world."

You know this because right now, there's a little elf-y part of your brain that's shrieking bloody murder at you.

... well,, not /literally/, but a certain elven quote keeps coming to mind, all snotty and high-falutin and whiny. Elves truly were made for bullying. "Once a beautiful tree, and now?" You can /hear/ the delicate scoff. "It is a rude bauble, fit only for your kind."

Above you, a grand armada of wooden windmills creak as their propeller blades spin in the breeze, their combined strength generating enough power and lift to keep the entire rickety-looking contraption a few feet off the ground. This stupid dwarf megaproject, providing more than enough transmittable power to pump-drain half an ocean's worth of water, will let you make things REALLY fly.

So, yeah, you'll be real damn happy with THIS rude bauble, thank you very much.

(Cont.)

>> No.44291977

>>44291959
After a moment, you turn away, staring out across the rest of your subconscious's Arena. The windmills' wholesale violation of physics doesn't surprise you as much as it /should/- that's why you're trying out this shit in the first place- but it's a little disquieting to watch, and your instincts keep screeching that a cave-in is imminent.

Still, you can't argue with the results- this sort of thing is only possible because Gamindustri's (and/or the hyperdimensional void's) physics have always interacted with your Dwarf Fortress physics in strange and unusual ways. With enough materials and a bit of elbow grease, you're reasonably certain you can replicate this back in the real world, once you wake up-

And speak of the devil, the lights seem to flicker. You're dimly aware that someone's trying to wake you up, either shaking you by the shoulder or screaming into your ear, or both.

You scowl. You don't have much time left!

[ ] [WAKE UP] Given how you'd conked out in the midst of battle, /maybe/ you ought to wake up and make sure everything's okay, because you don't want to wake up eaten by will-o'-wisps.
[ ] [FIND NEPTUNE] ... there's SUPPOSED to be a goddess living inside and/or corrupting your mind. Maybe you should find her before she ruins something important to you.
[ ] [REACH OUT] You ARE curious about what's going on in Gamindustri. Since Histoire upgraded Dwarf Therapist for you, maybe you could try contacting someone else?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.44292024

well meme'd with the thread time predictions blorp well meme'd

>> No.44292030

>>44291977
>[ ] [FIND NEPTUNE] ... there's SUPPOSED to be a goddess living inside and/or corrupting your mind. Maybe you should find her before she ruins something important to you.

It is finally here.

>> No.44292063

>>44291977
>[ ] [WAKE UP] Given how you'd conked out in the midst of battle, /maybe/ you ought to wake up and make sure everything's okay, because you don't want to wake up eaten by will-o'-wisps.

Welcome back, blorp.

>> No.44292068

[X] [REACH OUT] You ARE curious about what's going on in Gamindustri. Since Histoire upgraded Dwarf Therapist for you, maybe you could try contacting someone else?
[X] Shovel Knight

>> No.44292087

>>44291977
>[ ] [REACH OUT] You ARE curious about what's going on in Gamindustri. Since Histoire upgraded Dwarf Therapist for you, maybe you could try contacting someone else?

>> No.44292105

>>44291977
AHHHH too many good quests up!

>[ ] [REACH OUT] You ARE curious about what's going on in Gamindustri. Since Histoire upgraded Dwarf Therapist for you, maybe you could try contacting someone else?
>Shovel or Blanc

>> No.44292114

>>44291977
>[x] [FIND NEPTUNE] ... there's SUPPOSED to be a goddess living inside and/or corrupting your mind. Maybe you should find her before she ruins something important to you.

>> No.44292243

>>44291959
Hey, Blorp, did you know that FaceRig can use assets from that mobile Nep app? Now you can become the nep.

>>>/a/134981770

>> No.44292388

>>44292243
I live in a world where technology has progressed enough to let you actually become the waifu

... I don't know whether to be elated, terrified, or deeply worried for mankind

>> No.44292430

>>44292388
All three.

>> No.44292439

>>44292243
that is disturbingly fucking cute.

>> No.44292495

>>44292430
... shamefully so, yes.

SO ANYWAY, [REACH OUT] is the winning vote, so- writing!

>> No.44292562

>>44292439
Eyebrows are a bit too fidgety

>> No.44292608

>>44292430

....the person was masturbating while watching their own expression on their loli-waifu, weren't they?

>> No.44292717

>>44292608
No, this one was.

>> No.44292761

and people complain about blueboards when they see people holding hands.

>> No.44292856

>>44292495
Would you use this newfound knowledge of facerig and neps to make webms to post for your posts in this quest?

>> No.44292920

>>44292856
NO

I'M NOT THAT CRAZY

>> No.44292932

>>44292856
I don't want it.

>> No.44292956

>>44292920
>Someone replaces Urist's bathroom mirror with a camera and facerig of Nep

>> No.44292965

>>44292920
You sure? You do run this quest after all.

>> No.44292966

>>44292243
>they said I could be anything, so I became a nep

>> No.44293017

>>44292965
I think something called dignity would be involved in Blorp not wanting to go along with it.

>> No.44293113

>>44291977
[X] [REACH OUT]

The waking world can wait a little longer. Hell, on the same note, if you're gonna wake up soon, then Neptune can't possibly do any lasting damage to whatever parts of your brain she's rooting around in. Same goes for the possibility that SHE'S somehow in trouble, instead.

You take one last look around your Arena. Then, with a sigh, you work out a crick in your neck and get to work.

Surprisingly, it really ain't difficult to activate Dwarf Therapist, and you don't end up in any infinite feedback loops or something. It's the same old cheery interface, with the same old ludicrous slew of tabs and mind-boggling amounts of information. The only difference is that your mindscape is a LOT emptier than the real world, 'cause there's just yourself. And Neptune.

Armok preserve you, you can't wait for the day Neptune leaves your mind. Failing that, you can't wait for the sweet release of death.

But anyway, you exert some effort, and surprisingly enough, you manage to push beyond the veil of... something. It's not PLEASANT, but your brain isn't instantly fried by the chaotic energies of some dead space between the worlds.

Well, okay, if one-quarter of Histoire can manage it, and if someone like NEPTUNE can project her mind between worlds (goddess powers be damned, Neptune is still Neptune), then you guess this sort of thing ain't so hard after all.

Now, who do you try and reach out to?

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.
[ ] [BLANC] With Neptune either comatose or missing in Gamindustri, you'd really like confirmation that the other goddesses ain't equally fucked.
[ ] [ESTELLE] Check in with big sis. Let her know that you ain't dead and gone. See if the veteran knows anything more about the hyperdimensional void. Better yet, send help please.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.44293139

>>44293113
>[ ] [BLANC] With Neptune either comatose or missing in Gamindustri, you'd really like confirmation that the other goddesses ain't equally fucked.

>> No.44293159

>>44293113
>[ ] [BLANC] With Neptune either comatose or missing in Gamindustri, you'd really like confirmation that the other goddesses ain't equally fucked.

Catch her just as she is having a good dream.

>> No.44293162

>>44293113
>[ ] [BLANC] With Neptune either comatose or missing in Gamindustri, you'd really like confirmation that the other goddesses ain't equally fucked.
Lets get some Blanc corruption to combat the nep corruption!

>> No.44293166

>>44293113
>[ ] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.

>> No.44293169

>>44293113
>[X] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.
Must. Save. Companions.

>> No.44293198

>>44293113
>[ ] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.
>[ ] [BLANC] With Neptune either comatose or missing in Gamindustri, you'd really like confirmation that the other goddesses ain't equally fucked.
one of these

>> No.44293223

[X] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.

>> No.44293234

>>44293113
>[ ] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.

Just so we know she is not in a bad position, as well as if she would be near us in short time. And, if it would be possible just a short look at

>[ ] [BLANC]

but nothing leading to any converation.

>> No.44293280

>>44293113
>[x] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.

>> No.44293346

>>44293113
>[ ] [BLANC] With Neptune either comatose or missing in Gamindustri, you'd really like confirmation that the other goddesses ain't equally fucked.

>> No.44293351

>>44293113
>[ ] [ESTELLE] Check in with big sis. Let her know that you ain't dead and gone. See if the veteran knows anything more about the hyperdimensional void. Better yet, send help please.

>> No.44293539

>>44293113
>[ ] [SHOVEL KNIGHT] She's here in the hyperdimension void with you, so she ought to be easier to reach! Probably. Also, you'd like to know where she is so you can save her.

>> No.44293588

So who saw MAGES. choke against /ssbg/ yesterday?

>> No.44293836

>>44293113
>[Blanc] With Neptune either comatose or missing in Gamindustri, you'd really like confirmation that the other goddesses ain't equally fucked.
>also [SHOVEL KNIGHT] because we need our companions.
>But, if there is any representation of Ultima we'd need her too

>> No.44294020

War is coming.

> arfoire has been looking for builders
> she knew about the red ring of death and that it'd exile graveyard adventurers with her
> arfoire caused very, very visible havoc in leanbox to make vert activate it
> her plan involves making them a "place of our own"
> her faction is going to literally build a nation, which will come back with them when the red ring ends
> Hyperdimension is coming back too

>>44293113
> [ ] [BLANC]

>> No.44294356

>>44293113
>[ESTELLE]

SOS, please send assistance post-haste!

Of all people, you know Estelle's gonna move time and space if she knows not only her lil' sis, but also an unknown number of adventures are counting on her.

>> No.44294381

>>44294020

This sounds right. She wanted to lock up a lot of builders so she had her own land next time she invades again.

>> No.44294396

>>44293113
>[X] [SHOVEL KNIGHT]
>[X] [BLANC]

Ignoring how your dream world is shaking just a little more, you gradually extend your awareness. Again, not as hard as you'd feared. It's almost as if you've got loads and loads of experience in micromanaging entire worlds at a time, controlling the state of the world's politics even while you control one tiny dwarven fort.

You just keep zooming out: one heartbeat, and you're past little patch of consciousness that is your sleeping brain; another heartbeat, and you're reaching out through the hyperdimensional void, individual beings all pinging on your radar like ships on an open sea.

Instead of zooming out infinitely, though, you realize that a few more beats will take you through to the other side, right into Gamindustri.

Your dwarven vocabulary is too limited to accurately describe things not having to do with violence and booze, but if you had to guess, it's... kinda like the hyperdimensional void is a narrower space than you'd imagined, like it's stuck between two sheets of paper. And each sheet of paper represents a world, with one being Gamindustri.

... you're not sure what world the other sheet of paper would represent. You don't WANT to, because you've got enough on your plate at the moment.

Speaking of too many things on your plate, you start looking for one grain of sand out of, like, a fucking gazillion: Shovel Knight, the poor sap you'd accidentally dragged into hell. Even you,, with your shriveled and violent dwarven heart, can't help feel a pang of guilt- she'd signed up for a rescue mission for Mojang, not eternal exile from the only reality she's ever known.

Shovel's a damn good adventurer, but she's too damn young for this shit-

((U... Urist?))

You very nearly piss yourself out of sheer horrified surprise. Shovel Knight! She's unharmed, right? Doing okay? Not dying horribly!?

(Cont.)

>> No.44294443

>>44294396
She fires back with a dry laugh, tired and weak and tremulous. ((Been better. Can't move. This accursed void is really quite vexing, isn't it?))

Location, state of mind, whatever- you'd take ANY information as you wrestle with the uncooperative Therapist, but it ain't budging. You cant get a read on Shovel's status. Dammit, it'd better not fuck up on you now-

((Have you saved your friend, Mojang?))

You pause, absolutely incredulous. She's been trapped in the goddamn hyperdimensional void for /days/ and she's asking if you'd saved YOUR friend!?

Shovel Knight laughs again. ((Gotta treasure your allies, Urist,)) she rasps out. ((But I'm glad. I managed to help with that much.))

- fucking moron- there! Therapist spits out a vague location- she's a day out from you. Tomorrow, she'll orbit close enough to your fort for you to smash-and-grab her from wherever she is. Just hold on 'til then. She's not allowed to die!

((Oh, I won't die that easily.)) Shovel Knight coughs, and her voice sounds more strained. ((Bring some shears. These vines are annoying. Thorns everywhere-))

-THIS WAIFU IS SHIT-

You're jolted VERY violently as /something/ slimy grabs your consciousness and hurls it away at top speed, sending you spinning through the hyperdimensional void.

What the hell was that?

And where the hell is your subconscious heading /now/!?

>Urist Twelfthbay deals with a catastrophic Dwarf Therapist error!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 75; bonus +15 for nightgown

>> No.44294473

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>44294443
Rolling

>> No.44294475

Rolled 21 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>44294443

>> No.44294486

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>44294443
glorious pic

>> No.44294518

>>44294473
>>44294475
>>44294486
Sins absolved

>> No.44294524

>>44294473
>>44294486

Looks like Urist nails it.

>> No.44294557

>>44294473
>>44294486
DAMN, guys

Writing!

>> No.44294596

>>44294557
It was definitly worth it to be awake at 3:30 am just for that.

>> No.44294603

>>44294557
Nothing tells us what waifus are shit. Only we decide that!

>> No.44294632

>>44294603
Why is conquestgear so cute?

>> No.44294672

Do remember that one wrong step can land us into the Ultradimension instead of the Hyperdimension.

Why is this bad? Iris Heart

Can't we have Neptune contact... less dwarfy minds? Can't she use Therapist?

>> No.44294755

>>44294672
>Implying ploot is a problem

>> No.44294781

>>44294755
>Implying we could prevent Plutia from activating HDD.

>> No.44294790

>>44294672
I don't think we have synced with Neptune enough for her to be able to use Urist's skills.

>> No.44294812

>>44294672
>>44294790
>implying you want to give Neptune access to Urist's skills

>> No.44294816

>>44294672
And why is this a bad thing?

>> No.44294834

>>44294755
The least Urist needs right now is a sadist that doesn't follow the rules of BDSM.

>> No.44294853

>>44294812
>Urist: HDD
>Urist turns into a pick
>Neptune/Purple Hearts strikes the earth! and summons a volcano

>> No.44294854

>>44294812
just give her the new art skills so she can annoy us with awful poetry recitations and dance

>> No.44294884

>>44294755

>> No.44294986

>>44294816
For the same reason as Oron was "defeated" so quickly in DSA.

>> No.44295442

>>44294443
>>44294473
>93 (+15)
>DC passed with flying colors!

You had no idea that anyone could actually /attack/ your consciousness while it's in Therapist mode, but- hey, you learn something new everyday! Too bad learning new things is the leading cause of death among dwarves.

Thankfully, your mind's /probably/ intact, and you can't imagine that anything would've happened to your physical body. It's just that, y'know, letters and numbers are blitzing across your vision with nausea-inducing speed, and you can't make sense of a damn thing like this. Your Therapist-vision continues hurtling through the hyperdimensional void as you desperately start banging at the utility's coding, doing your best to fix it before your consciousness ends up plastered against some distant galaxy, and-

.... come to think of it, whatever did this to you called you a shit waifu, didn't it.

Searing rage burns through your creeping despair fast enough to make you see !!red!!, and you tear through Therapist's unresponsive code with a renewed fervor. You may be shittier than the shittiest shit in the shitfest that is Gamindustri, but you are NOT someone's vacant-eyed vapid-as-shit waifu, dammit! You! You!!

Urist Twelfthbay looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!

You are going to motherfucking KILL this sunnovabitch.

The last piece of Therapist crunches back into place, and the world takes on a dreamlike quality as you command it to take you back to Shovel Knight's last known location. Like before, words and numbers flash past your eyes, except your vision twitches rapidly as you drink it all in, looking for the anomaly that shouldn't be- THERE.

(Cont.)

>> No.44295458

>>44295442
Laughing uproariously, you punch through Therapist's screen, shattering glass and numbers and a red sticky substance that spatters across your nightgown. Something scrabbles and squirms, but you heave with all your might and tear it right through two layers of reality- conscious and subconscious, hyperdimensional void and Gamindustri- and you're holding onto some void-born beast, shifting rapidly between thorny tentacles and garishly-colored plaid and plain forgettable features.

-NO! GET BACK! I JUST, WANTED TO- TO HAVE-

The poor unfortunate soul writhes in your grasp, and you /feel/ its own telepathic powers slithering into your mind, probing it for weak points, attempting to take control of it and make it its own-

You grab its right rear tentacle with your left gauntleted hand and /tear/, exerting enough strength to turn the monster inside-out. More blood gushes out, and you root through its twitching, borderline incomprehensible body for what you KNOW you need. You need bones, you need skin, you need leather, you need stone, you need gems, you need wood, you need skulls, you need thread, you need bars, you need-

(Cont.)

>> No.44295478

>>44295458
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Blanc shrieks, pulling her sheets up to her chin and scrambling so far back that she falls off her bed.

Yeah, that's enough to snap you back into reality, because what the everloving hell!? Kicked back down out of high gear, your brain scrambles for some sort of answer-

A pillow flies past your head and embeds itself in the far wall, bits of plaster flying every which way.

"GET OUT AND DIE!"

Wait, doesn't she mean get out OR die-

"NO."

Another pillow nearly takes your head off, and you're knocked onto your ass by the ensuing shockwave.

... if this is a bout of Therapist telepathy, it feels very, very real.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [DUCK AND COVER] Roll behind the nearest piece of cover until you can get your bearings and/or Blanc calms down.
[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.
[ ] [NEPTUNE] For the love of Armok, if there was ever a time you need Neptune to run her fucking mouth off, /now is that time/.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.44295498

>>44295478
>[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.

>> No.44295500

>>44295478
>[ ] [DUCK AND COVER] Roll behind the nearest piece of cover until you can get your bearings and/or Blanc calms down.
>[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit

We can do both. Speaking while diving for cover.

>> No.44295503

>>44295458
I have to know where this is from.

>> No.44295515

>>44295478
>[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.

Speak Dwarf to her, it is the closest thing to her preferred language.

If you curse each other back and forth enough you will reach an understanding.

>> No.44295517

>>44295478
>[X] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.
I do love that Urist's response to being called a shit waifu was to rage over being called a waifu.

>> No.44295523

>>44295478
>[x] [NEPTUNE] For the love of Armok, if there was ever a time you need Neptune to run her fucking mouth off, /now is that time/.

>> No.44295526

>>44295478
[] [ARFOIRE] Scream that name until she starts listening

>> No.44295530

>>44295478
>[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.
URIST FRIEND!

>> No.44295543

>>44295530
"Urist friend! Tentacles bad! Neptune burns!"

>> No.44295547

>>44295503
No idea, sorry! I don't even remember which /tg/ thread I pulled it from.

>> No.44295572

>>44295526
This sounds smart, just start yelling plot words until she gets too confused/interested to keep attacking.
"AIRFORE RED RING HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNE ESTELLE MOJANG VOID SHARKS SHOVEL KNIGHT TELEPATHY GETTING NEP'D"

>> No.44295581

>>44295478
>[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.

>> No.44295585

>>44295572
>>44295478
Seconding this

>> No.44295586

>>44295478
>[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.
Diplomasive action! Promise her big boobs!

>> No.44295592

>>44295442
>You may be shittier than the shittiest shit in the shitfest that is Gamindustri, but you are NOT someone's vacant-eyed vapid-as-shit waifu, dammit! You! You!!

....this picture isn't nearly good enough to describe my joy at that line... Can we bury the terms waifu and husbando, please?

>> No.44295595

>>44295478
>[X] [GIVE NO FUCKS] Ask how Estelle is doing.
haha dying is nothing compared to being called a shit waifu oh hey blanc what's up

>> No.44295602

>>44295572
SHARICITE

>> No.44295615

>>44295478
>[ ] [DUCK AND COVER] Roll behind the nearest piece of cover until you can get your bearings and/or Blanc calms down.
>[ ] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.

>> No.44295619

Who exactly is calling us a shit waifu? And did we just jump on Blanc when she was sleeping?

>> No.44295638

>>44295478
>[ ] [NEPTUNE] For the love of Armok, if there was ever a time you need Neptune to run her fucking mouth off, /now is that time/.

>> No.44295641

>>44295619
I am imagining we have an artifact statue in our hand of eldritch proportions that Blanc is freak out about.

>> No.44295645

>>44295478
>[X] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] Talk to Blanc, and talk /fast/, because ain't no one has time for this wacky anime shenanigans shit.

>"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Blanc shrieks, pulling her sheets up to her chin and scrambling so far back that she falls off her bed.
>"GET OUT AND DIE!"
>... if this is a bout of Therapist telepathy, it feels very, very real.

Wait. WAIT.

Is Urist in NEPTUNE'S body now?!

>> No.44295660

>>44295645
Oh fuck.

9.6% Uristized

>> No.44295663

>>44295619
>Who exactly is calling us a shit waifu?

A thing that Urist promptly proceeded to murder with extreme prejudice!


Also, it looks like [X] [DIPLOMASURVIVE] (by screaming random plot words at her) is the winning choice, so- writing!

>> No.44295692

>>44295645
>>44295660
YESSSS LETS THIS BE

>> No.44295719

>>44295692
>YESSSS LETS THIS BE

And let her turn even more into THIS?

>> No.44295749

>>44295660
>>44295645
>You are Mojang, moe personification of Minecraft
>And your Oneechan has been REPLACED by this, this THING-
>Hey, that's not nice Mojang, no pudding for you!

>> No.44295785

>>44295602
LILY RANK
NEPTUNIZED
GRAVEYARD
WOLBACHIA
VOCAL CORD PARASITES
FEMALE TO WIFEU

>> No.44295801

>>44295645
Oh no oh no oh yes please

The hijinks are getting intense

>> No.44295803

>>44295660
not 12.3% (since we first activated HDD) Hard Dwarf Divinity

>> No.44295819

>>44295749
Wait, was this whole thing a secret Neptune plot to take back the position of main character by taking over our life?
LOCAL DWARF PLAYED LIKE FIDDLE

>> No.44295834

>>44295819
>Notices she hasn't become the main character yet
>Sets her eyes on Mojang

>> No.44295858

>>44295645
I'm getting flashbacks to tamed dimensional anomalies and a greater Bugs "Trapelemental" Bunny.

>> No.44295861

>Urist is trying to reason with Blanc and to impress her she takes on her purple haired form and says "now I am become Nep, the Nepstroyer of dimensions"
- Histoire

>> No.44295894

>>44295478
[Neptunemacy]Dive for Cover WHILE neptune does the talking?

at any rate: Try telling Neptune about any of:
>Windmill Propellers
>Dwarven Water Reactors
>Magma hijinks
>Doomgirl
>Carp (our tamed one) (dont wanna her accidentally axe it)
>Sharicite in our fortress (or maybe not)
>Bloodfist Sky Fortress of God

>> No.44295980

>>44295834
I'm still nervous that at some point our "You are Urist McTwelthbay, the blah blah" is going to subtly start sounding less like our own internal naration and more like Neptune naratting for us. And from there it's just a few steps to "I am Neptune, patron goddess of all things Sega!"

>> No.44296104

>>44295980
It isn't only you that notied that, or is concerned about it, but then again I thought those changes were obvious.
Also, I am quite confident that we either find a way to reverse the neptunization or learning to possess other bodies. Cue Ulrist doing her own conquest ending.

>> No.44296190

>>44296104
I just realized, this maybe a a bit worse than we're assuming. Why? Because we're in NEPTUNE'S freaking body. No matter what we say, NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE US SERIOUSLY OR BELIEVE US. "You have to believe me! I'm not Neptune, I'm Urist, Neptune's stolen my body!". " Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Neptune, now get out of my castle."

>> No.44296243

>>44296190
>"Seganium is a fucking useless ore."
>"Alright Urist, tell me everything."

>> No.44296263

>>44296190
...which leads to Ulrist ending up with the conquest ending.
She is way more prone to go up and procuring enough blood to drown the entire United States via killing everyone in Gameindustri then Neptun.

Wouldn't be the worst ending.

>> No.44296381

>>44295478
>[X] [DIPLOMASURVIVE]

You briefly consider diving behind cover before imagining, all too clearly, Blanc hurling a pillow with enough strength to punch clear through a wall AND your far too squishy body.

There's no way you can run from this kind of brute strength, so you stand your ground and start yelling before Blanc can throw anything else. THIS IS URIST!!

A brown-haired head pops out from behind the bed, followed by the eldritch red glow of an angry goddess's eyes. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING-"

URIST! BLASTED TO THE HYPERDIMENSIONAL VOID! you roar. WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER ADVENTURERS BECAUSE RED RING AND ARFOIRE AND VOID SHARKS AND-

"Wait, slow down-"

-NEPTUNE IS IN YOUR BRAIN 'CAUSE YOU GOT NEPPED AND THIS IS TELEPATHY YOU'RE NOT REALLY HERE THIS CRAP IS HISTOIRE'S FAULT YOU DUNNO HOW YOU GOT INTO GAMINDUSTRI-

"Seriously, what the hell-"

- YOU JUST WANNA GET HOME TO YOUR FIRST PROPER FORT AND MOJANG NEEDS YOU AND ESTELLE IS PROBABLY WORRIED SICK AND YOU ARE BECOMING NEPTUNE AND YOU SORT OF WANT A PUDDING AND EVERYTHING IS MESSED UP, SO MESSED UP, YOU NEVER ASKED FOR THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS-

... when you finally stop bawling your eyes out and your sobs (OF PROPER DWARVEN RAGE) turn into sullen hiccups, Blanc awkwardly hands you a tissue. You take a moment to wipe your tears and blow your nose, look around for a refuse stockpile, fail to find one, and very nearly designate one on the floor before remembering that wastebaskets are a thing.

So. Yeah. That's... that's the long and short of it.

"Mm-hmm," Blanc replies noncommittally, quietly wiping her hand on the blankets she'd dragged with her. Sitting next to you in only a nightgown, the representative personification of all things Nintendo looks smaller and more delicate than usual, which is a fucking lie because she'd nearly murdered you with a goddamned pillow.

(Cont.)

>> No.44296390

>>44296243
I laughed out loud. That's perfect.

>> No.44296404 [SPOILER] 

>>44296381
You watch her warily for a moment, but she does nothing but stare calmly back at you, looking weary and exhausted. She... doesn't seem very surprised.

Blanc sighs, giving you a half-lidded stare. At least she's calm, now. "You teleport into my room through a disappearing dimensional doorway even though your body's supposed to be locked up in a storage room. You look all the world like some unfinished Arfoire-spawned clone," she deadpans. "And now you're telling me all sorts of things that only serve to confirm my suspicions about a lot of things. Logic has long since gone out the window."

... your skin crawls. What... what does she mean by that whole clone quip?

Wordlessly, Blanc points you toward a mirror hanging from a wall. Numb and chilled to the core, you wobble to your feet (were you always so high up off the ground?) and make your way over, reaching out with gauntlet-clad (clawed?) hands to steady yourself against the wall. Slowly, you turn to face your own reflection.

CPU Purple Heart's face, complete with glowing power-symbol-studded eyes, stares back at you, wreathed by her trademark purple braids.

7̷̷̧͝9̛̕͠7҉͏̨3̵̶̨̨͠.̶̧̡̢5̴̛̛̀͠7̨% Neptunized!

[ ] [PANIC] GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG BLANC FOR HELP
[ ] [THERAPIST] RECREATE THAT THERAPIST GLITCH, FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK
[ ] [DIMENSION DOOR] ASK BLANC ABOUT THAT DIMENSIONAL DOOR THING
[ ] [EXPLAIN] NO SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE MISSING TOO MUCH INFO HERE
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.44296438

>>44296404
>[ ] [EXPLAIN] NO SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE MISSING TOO MUCH INFO HERE

>> No.44296444

>>44296404

>[ ] [PANIC]
>[ ] [PANIC]
>[ ] [PANIC]

>> No.44296447

>>44296404
>[DRINK] PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE ALCOHOL
>[DESPAIR]
>[EXPLAIN]

>> No.44296450

>>44296404
>[X] [WRITE-IN] DRINK! DRINK FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK

>> No.44296451

>>44296404
>[ ] [PANIC] GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG BLANC FOR HELP
>[ ] [THERAPIST] RECREATE THAT THERAPIST GLITCH, FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK
>[ ] [DIMENSION DOOR] ASK BLANC ABOUT THAT DIMENSIONAL DOOR THING
>[ ] [EXPLAIN] NO SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE MISSING TOO MUCH INFO HERE
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>[ ] [PANIC MORE] MORE PANIC

>> No.44296456

>>44296404
>[PANIC]
body dysphoria BODY DYSPHORIA
WHY DOES REALITY INSIST WE BECOME A GODDESS WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET DORFS FOR OUR FORT YET

>> No.44296464

>>44296404
[ ] [DRINK] URIST HEART CANCELS DESPAIR: SEEKING BOOZE
[ ] [EXPLAIN] NO SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE MISSING TOO MUCH INFO HERE

>> No.44296465

>>44296404

First

>[ ] [PANIC]

for 10 seconds, then

>[ ] [EXPLAIN] NO SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE MISSING TOO MUCH INFO HERE

and

>[ ] [DIMENSION DOOR] ASK BLANC ABOUT THAT DIMENSIONAL DOOR THING

while trying to

>[ ] [THERAPIST] RECREATE THAT THERAPIST GLITCH, FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK

If we can't multitask that, then only

>[ ] [THERAPIST]

>> No.44296474

>>44296404
>[ ] [PANIC] GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG BLANC FOR HELP

>> No.44296482

>>44296404
>[X] [PANIC]
>[X] [PANIC]
>[X] [PANIC]
>[X] [PANIC]
>[X] [PANIC]

>> No.44296483

>>44296404
>[DRINK] I NEED ALCOHOL NOW! I'M COMPLETELY 7973.57% NEPTUNIZED
>TRY NOT TO CRY
>CRY
>CRY SOME MORE
>[BLANC] GLOMP BLANC BECAUSE YOU NEED COMFORT! SHE'S THE STAND IN FOR IMOUTO MOJANG

>> No.44296486

>>44296404
>[x] [WRITE-IN]
FONDLE BOOBS
>[x] [EXPLAIN] NO SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE MISSING TOO MUCH INFO HERE

>> No.44296494

>>44296404
>[DRINK] Maybe becoming the german methaphorical definition of being blue (Drunk) helps.

>> No.44296559

>>44296483
>Realize after thinking of Mojang that Neptune is probably in your body back in the fort and the friends either won't know or will think you've been fully Nep'd and try to put you our of your misery.

>> No.44296572

>>44296465
Support this
Do all the things~

Thanks for writing Blorp! Ciao

>> No.44296583

Right then, this... really isn't a good place to end, but it's getting ridiculously late and I've got far too much to do over the next few days!

Since I'll be in China for the better part of a month AND tied up by work (AND Twitter and probably 4chan are blocked over there), I'm going to have to call a hiatus until around the end of January.

I'll post on Twitter (https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest) with a schedule once I'm back in the States and/or somewhere with normal internet, and we'll pick up with the highest voted option. I'm pretty sure http://ask.fm/BlorpQuest will still work, though!

As always, thanks for participating, guys, and assuming nothing goes horribly wrong, I'll see you again within a month!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

(Cont.)

>> No.44296591

>>44296404
>7̷̷̧͝9̛̕͠7҉͏̨3̵̶̨̨͠.̶̧̡̢5̴̛̛̀͠7̨% Neptunized!

Ve haf become the Ur-Nep. Bane of Gamindustri

>> No.44296606

>>44296559
Yes, positive thinking. You can take over Neps position and probably do a better job at it, while gradualy changing the public image of Neptune into something which is more of your liking.

>> No.44296608

>>44296583
MAKE SURE TO PACK FRESH AIR
LOTS OF IT

AND BE SAFE, WEAR A GAS MASK AND PARACHUTE AT ALL TIMES

>> No.44296617

>>44296583
More?

>> No.44296631

>>44296583
>>44296608
It's so depressing how true this is.

>> No.44296638

>>44296583
Anyway, stuff about the bonus scene I'm gonna write in compensation for being out for a month!

I didn't really get a solid consensus last time, so I'll call another vote with the choices that either got more agreement and/or is more feasible, so-

[ ] [ROKKO]
[ ] [MOJANG]
[ ] [ESTELLE]
[ ] [EIN]
[ ] [SOULS]
[ ] [BLANC]
[ ] [NEPTUNE]
[ ] [NOIRE]
[ ] [HISTOIRE]

Catch you all next time!

>> No.44296643

>>44296583
>BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Azathoth, Tzeench and The Nameless One working toghether trying to break trough the dimensional gate leading to Gameindustri?

>> No.44296650

>>44296638
>[ ] [BLANC]
OR
>[ ] [NOIRE]

>> No.44296665

>>44296638
>[x] [MOJANG]

>> No.44296666

>>44296638
>[ ] [HISTOIRE]

>> No.44296682

>>44296638
>[ ] [BLANC]

>> No.44296692

>>44296638
>[ ] [ROKKO]
OR
>[ ] [HISTOIRE]
OR
>[ ] [ARFOIRE]

>> No.44296711

>>44296583
In China, watch out for bridges made out of trash crumbling under you, knockoff hi-speed trains derailing and literally getting buried to hide the defects, as well as various things such as chairs blowing up with no warning. Oh, and street vendor food that's been boiled in sewage.

>> No.44296743

>>44296608
>>44296631
Oh, do I ever plan to pack masks. And just spend as much time indoors as I possibly can.

... that might not help, given what I've seen growing in some hotel rooms, but every little bit (theoretically) helps.

>>44296711
>street vendor food

NOT EVEN ONCE. I don't care if it's fresh enough that it's still twitching like impaled scorpion kebabs.

>> No.44296790

>>44296743
>given what I've seen growing in some hotel rooms
yeah. Just.....yeah.

>> No.44296791

>>44296743
Why are you even going to China?

>> No.44296823

super fucking late voting I know
[ ] [THERAPIST] RECREATE THAT THERAPIST GLITCH, FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK
[X] [ROKKO]
second pick
[X] [SOULS[

>> No.44296863

>>44296791
Same reason a relative of mine is going there next summer; work.

>> No.44297013

>>44296583
See you, Blorp. Good luck, be safe.

>> No.44297033

>>44296638
>[ ] [ROKKO]

>> No.44299079

>>44296638
>[ ] [ROKKO]

>> No.44299299

>>44296638
> [ ] [ROKKO]

>> No.44299767

>>44296638
>[X] [Neptune]

>> No.44299995

>>44296638
>[ ] [BLANC]

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