[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Maintenance is complete! We got more disk space.
Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games

View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
File: 63 KB, 622x521, 142[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
44054863 No.44054863 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>You're the DM
>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu

What kind of monster is it and how do you avoid magical realms?

>> No.44054872
File: 39 KB, 500x281, Slime-girl kek.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>slime girl
>she's acidic

>> No.44054873

It's a monster waifu

It's already in magical realm

>> No.44054952

>What kind of monster is it
Probably a dragon.
>how do you avoid magical realms?
The person I give the waifu to would hopefully have at least a slight amount of social awareness.

>> No.44054972

Tell me first what is a waifu in the context of the game.
Because IRL it's usually a cartoon chick someone masturbates to more than to others.

In that context PC's are allowed to masturbate to whatever they want as long as they don't talk about.

>> No.44054973
File: 283 KB, 676x648, Suu hug.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

How acidic are we talking about? Touching her results in a slight tingling sensation? She burns through flesh and bone? Breathing in the same air as her burns away your lungs?

>> No.44055005

She's a kobold. Also all PCs are kobolds. It's a kobold campaign.

>> No.44055036

>She burns through flesh and bone

>> No.44055040

That's a shitty waifu. You can't even hold hands

>> No.44055052

A human. Humans are the real monsters.
how do you avoid magical realms

killed off during backstory

she is turned into puppeted part of the undead monstrosity and is used to taunt the player character for failing his dead waifu

>> No.44055062

>What kind of monster is it and how do you avoid magical realms?

magical realm avoided.

>> No.44055077

Emotional torture is my magical realm.

>> No.44055085
File: 36 KB, 300x400, tumblr_inline_nfmkadeQeV1rq29x2[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Prepare for some fully armoured dickings then.

>> No.44055108


>Better prepare resist energy then

Magical realm engage

>> No.44055118

One of the players had a satyr waifu, it didn't seem magical realm. He was doing sort of a drunken monk and she followed him around always making booze, they'd chug it all, get into fights and then get lost in the woods drunk off their asses and fuck.

>> No.44055129

>the liquid seeps through your not-so-liquid tight armor and starts dissolving you

See, >>44055108 had a better idea.

>> No.44055138

I've made my choice. There must always be a price paid for the advancement of humanity, always an unseen cost. Every decision made may have ramifications well into the future that impact the entire existence of man. I am willing to pay this price.

>> No.44055143

>story of unrequited lovers
>journeying to find a way to touch
Yeah okay. Bonus points if the adventurer becomes a slime.

>> No.44055148

If that makes you happy. I suppose you'll have to make constant toughness checks so I hope you are a sturdy PC.

It's not magical realm though.

>> No.44055171

It's a gashadokuro. She wants to violently kill the PC and turns his skeleton into another gashadokuro after his body has rotted away. She wields a no-dachi too big for any man, but still comically small for her. Do I pass anon?

>> No.44055249
File: 239 KB, 1024x741, 1439962231915.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

10/10 that's actually kind of cute
>While the party is adventuring, husbando tries to look for ways to become acid-resistant
>Meanwhile, slime waifu looks for ways to become less acidic
>They both succeed, each invalidating the efforts of the other but at the same time showing how far they're willing to go to be together

>> No.44055271

>What kind of monster is it and how do you avoid magical realms?
I don't, it's my biggest fetish.

>> No.44055282

Super cute
10/10 would set aside main quest to help.

>> No.44055304

Succubus and play up the demon part.

>> No.44055366

Already married to an wood-elven woman and leading a normal family life in the backstory and owns a pharmacists shop.

''Adventuring'' is actually a job given by the local monastery who is sending the PC away on gathering missions because everyone is already rolling will saves in his presence and if they fail they start shitting them selves.

No need for any more.
And no it isn't a scat fetish.

>> No.44055378
File: 295 KB, 600x600, 96fd2b82bbdb8db261d88160887f6d1c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>You're the DM

>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu.
I'll assume you don't mean DMPC because that would be super gay, desu senpai. I'll allow each of the characters to woo one in the wild. They must track down their mate, Monster Hunter style. It'll be filled with cringy attempts at serenades; misunderstandings about nesting and feeding habits. Thus, each attempt at catchng monster pussy will be an adventure in of itself.

>How do you avoid magical realm.
I don't, because at this point I'm just curious as to how depraved my players are going to get.

>> No.44055545

WASP woman.

>> No.44055614

Goddamn adorable zubats.

>> No.44055690

> You're the DM
> You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu
Considering my setting has Kestrels, not too hard to do.
> How do you avoid magical realms?
She's an adult and a cohort. Players don't get anything past a fade to black.

>> No.44055701

Am I missing something about kestrels? They're a kind of falcon, aren't they?

>> No.44055718

they're also good harpies in some pathfinder homebrew, I think.

>> No.44055732

>satyr waifu

Did she have a massive wiener

>> No.44055746

Ring of acid protection
He uses it as an engagement ring

>> No.44055756

Well, that's confusing. Like calling a naga or yuan-ti race "adders". I'm going to think about actual adders before anything else.

>> No.44055760
File: 1.85 MB, 500x280, 1409114297276.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]



>> No.44055956

go home cis scum

>> No.44056007

acid invulnerability*

>> No.44056090

>You're the DM
>You must allow
You have two conflicting statements right there, friend.

>> No.44056104

>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu
>avoid magical realms
We're going all in, he's getting a loli succubus.

>> No.44056135

they're called Kestrels because they're a mix of harpies and halflings. Small, predatory, and yet absolutely adorable in society.

>> No.44056174

I'll just get Acid immunity to counter it.

>> No.44056188

>>44056174 >>44055746
Yeah, that works.

>> No.44056213
File: 51 KB, 520x390, disapprovalviking.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>how do you avoid magical realms?







>> No.44056218

A rock girl. To the unsuspecting eye you might think "hey, just another rock. Like the other 3 trillion i've seen." But to a connoisseur with a discerning eye you'll see it is in fact a Rock Girl. This species excels at one thing above all else, perfectly replicating a rock and all rock like attributes and behaviors. Its so good at this you may even assume its more of a rock than your average rock. its body is made entirely of compressed minerals of varying sorts and percentages, is entirely incapable of movement, can't hear, can't see, can't feel, and in no way is capable of communication of any sort. It is soul tethered too you and you have to carry it everywhere you go. The tether is about 3 feet long. This particular specimen weighs around 1 ton and is the newly born queen of this particular hive. You must carry it to a new resting place and start a new hive ensuring the survival of this majestic species.

>> No.44056226

I don't avoid the magical realm, i embrace it. The adventurer and their harpy waifu fall in love during their journey, settle down in a nice village, and live happily ever after because happy endings where you grow old with your loved ones are my fetish.

>> No.44056237

You'd actually want a higher PH level not a lower one. acids can take days for serious damage. Bases can strip the flesh from bone with a bit of misting.

>> No.44056245
File: 138 KB, 320x240, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Entirely forgot pic.

>> No.44056260
File: 167 KB, 393x349, 135468323457.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44056945
File: 203 KB, 600x600, 1445728378604.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw I end up with a monster waifu in half my games
Dungeon World character was a priest who ended up with an alchemist fox chick.

Pathfinder character was a cleric who got often got drunk and hit on dragons and vampires.

13th Age character was a CE pirate that fucked his captain's mermaid wife and was keelhauled for it.

Magia Exquisitis character was a summoner bard that ended up with an angel he summoned.

>> No.44056995
File: 881 KB, 1278x894, 1438713277802.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>13th Age character was a CE pirate that fucked his captain's mermaid wife and was keelhauled for it.
How tragic

>> No.44057053

He lived. Eventually got his revenge on the captain, took mermaid waifu for his own, and lived out a life of drinking, airship battling, and booze smuggling.

Probably died of liver failure though.

>> No.44057203

This is how you do it

>> No.44057928

>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu
>how do you avoid magical realms?

Well, if they take the opportunity then I simply don't. In this scenario the players are battering down the door to my magical realm and barging in, so I guess monster waifus for everybody who wants one.

>> No.44057985

>What kind of monster is it and how do you avoid magical realms?


Pick your poison.

This is a very easy question if you know folklore.

>> No.44058018
File: 594 KB, 699x1028, 5be5f1060a4f08b9f8269452dd2cf26b.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44058045


But none of them are part of my folklore.

>> No.44058059
File: 108 KB, 680x1173, 1449537498196.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Huldra are also pretty cute.

Best thing is each of the monster-girls has a "personality" often attached to it, which lets the DM pick-and-choose depending on which one is ideal for the situation.


What's your folklore? Every culture has at least one "I can fuck it and not die" monster.

>> No.44058113

>>You're the DM
>>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu
Lets go with a jackal girl-I'm running a campaign set in not!Egypt right now
>how do you avoid magical realms?
make them a character, not a prize

>> No.44058114

A catgirl., or if not that then probably a lamia

>> No.44058119

>Every culture has at least one "I can fuck it and not die" monster.
Women, technically.

>> No.44058133

>She's off screen the whole time as she is bound to her tree / house that she and the Adventurer share
I'd have letters be delivered, sometimes small items as well.

>> No.44058233
File: 65 KB, 468x577, 1447114859776.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>Dryad waifu
>She's the oak planted next to your house

Nymphs are also cute if you've got a lake on your property.

>> No.44058278

I hope you're writing on vellum because dryads may not appreciate paper made out of wood.

>You're the DM
Bad idea, the other players will love it.
>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu
I'm probably gonna freak out the players with how many I can enumerate, I'd have to get something that doesn't sound suspicious based on the setting a mermaid or a satyr would be my best bet. For myself I'd like an insectoid one but that is gonna turnmy players off
>how do you avoid magical realms?
I let the players do what they do. Most of them are pretty normy by /tg/ standarts wich isn't that normie by normie standarts

>> No.44058286

Monster waifu? Fuck it, the players can deal with my magical realm.

>> No.44058319

Papyrus or leather might be acceptable.

>> No.44058339

Once i played in a 3.5 oneshot, and being given about half an hour or so for chargen I made a character based around a simple concept: Rocks. He was a cleric of some earth god, spoke Terran and kept trying to make conversation with the walls when he was thrown in jail. In combat he threw rocks at people instead of using a weapon. I even managed to kill someone by critting them in the head with one.

It was fun times.

>> No.44058423

>I hope you're writing on vellum because dryads may not appreciate paper made out of wood.

I hope you're writing on paper, because humans may not appreciate vellum made out of the skins of animals.

This is what you sound like.

>> No.44058466

I tried making a variant of druids based entirely around rocks once. Worked OK, actually. I gave them better armour (no "can't wear metal" limitation regular druids have) and some earth elemental themed abilities, plus some rock-related spells at one level before normal, to compensate for having a reduced spell list and no wildshape untill pretty high level (at whihc point they could turn into a rock elemental but nothing else).

Should probably update it some time. It's based on 3.5, but PF has added some more rock-themed spells.

>> No.44058537

Either a rust monster , a gibbering mouther, or a carrion eater. All three are awful and disgusting creatures who are automatically kill-on-sight for any self-respecting PC, girl parts or not.

>> No.44058542

>What kind of monster is it
Unless the player would prefer otherwise, something strong, dominant and probably predatory like a dragoness, giantess or werebeast

>how do you avoid magical realms?
You want a monster waifu?
Enjoy you MONSTER waifu
Keep her fed and happy or I'll use her as an excuse to go full vore magical realm on friendly NPCs and PCs

>> No.44058600
File: 41 KB, 364x314, 1449508482699.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>a rust monster

>> No.44058618

Ghost waifu.
She is the kind of ghost that can't touch stuff, no ectoplasm.

>> No.44058625

>Slimegirl waifu dissolves everything she touches
>adventurer seeks to becomes a slime to be with her
I've seen plenty of slimegirl vore/transformation porn do you know the answer to this

>> No.44058636

My party had a cleric who captured a rust monster and had it destroy the BBEG's armor and weapons while he was seeping. Then he had a brawl with our monk in nothing but his pajamas.

>> No.44058660

>Flesh-mech abomination
>It's non-pilotable

Everything else I leave up to the party, teasing and ribbing will occur and make the player too ashamed to do anything.

>> No.44058738

Anyone with half a heart would help. Also safe to say that magical realm avoided for the most part.

>> No.44058744

>>a rust monster waifu
>Give it to the warfordged PC

>> No.44058762

>You must
No, I don't have to put up with any weebfaggotry. I'm the DM.

>> No.44058787
File: 580 KB, 267x199, If+you+look+closely+you+can+see+that+it+s+actually+_a87fa40d570e0aec7efd35423dfd3268.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>live happily ever after because happy endings where you grow old with your loved ones are my fetish

That gets me going.

>> No.44058797
File: 323 KB, 576x1296, 1357348239387.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>what kind of monster
Whatever player wants
>how do you avoid magical realm
i don't.

>> No.44058818
File: 13 KB, 416x297, 1363120771169.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

i like you, anon.

>> No.44058904

ah, so she's truly waifu material not fuckdoll material.
good taste

>> No.44058906

Whichever one he wishes to pursue, so long as I agree that it exists in the setting. He can magical realm all he wants, so long as we can move the story along.

>> No.44058968

Play it as fluffy romance and leave the sex life completely out of it?

>> No.44058981

>Not lewd as fuck
Devouring people can absolutely be a sex thing for her.

>"Well, if I want to kill immediately I can emit a stronger acid, but it’s such a rare chance for a man wanting to enter me, so I want him to at least enjoy it for a day or two."

>> No.44059014

>Implying she won't possess his lower half and arms and make him furiously masturbate

>> No.44059025

That's a cute way of doing it, and it gives the character somewhere to act as a home base. Maybe she could grow herbs for an alchemist, or help create a place with strong natural magic for a druid?

>> No.44059052


No sex until marriage, campaign-long courting process.

>> No.44059076

That entire description would go great on one of the Disorders from Kingdom Death Monster where you fall in love with a fucking boulder and it takes up a permanent gear grid slot cause you carry it EVERYWHERE

>> No.44059197

But anon, with a rust monster that just means you have an excuse for all your armor to be off when you're with her.

>> No.44059438

Maybe if vellum was made from the skin of humans, they'd be upset by it the way dryads are upset by paper. Do you even d&d?

>> No.44059466

>Chaotic Bard.jpg

>> No.44059472

If Dryads are upset by mortal races using wood they should fucking get over it.

Hell, even Druids use wood. Almost exclusively, really.

>> No.44059507

Tell Fangorn to get over it.

>> No.44059526
File: 140 KB, 278x400, best tsuku.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Does a tsukumogami count? Might as well give my player a waifu he can use in battle.

>> No.44059547
File: 17 KB, 183x226, 1377024292039.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


What if she made the paper herself, and said you're only allowed to use *that* paper to send her letters.

It'd force you to only write what you really want to say, and every time you send a letter it will be something meaningful.

>> No.44059606

One of my players is trying to romance a young woman made out of crystals once. The fact she was a naive young warrior made him interested, but he almost immediately stopped trying to woo her when he learned he could not have conventional sex with her and learned the keys to her people procreating is to go to a sacred shrine of her people and also lots of hand holding. Regardless kept going for her warm diamond heart. But still, the motherfucker would ask multiple times a session if there was a way to fuck her, or if there was a way to make her human for the purpose of fucking her. Would letting him find a way be magical realm?

>> No.44059667

Isn't that redundant?

>> No.44059679

Not that one thought, that one's a bit too dead to do anything.

>> No.44059687

Tell him she'd only be willing to turn human and fuck him if he's willing to hold hands with her in the special shrine at least as often.

>> No.44059689

Fuck you. ;_;

>> No.44059692

Bards can be neutral on the law-chaos spectrum, at least.

>> No.44059704

>Dear Dyrad,

>You are the finest birch I know. I want to grab your peaches and taste your juices, and am eager to deflower you, you get me wooden. I'm totally stumped on how to get a hold of your melons, but sooner or later I'll leaf this party to be with you forest of our lives.

>Ever yours,

>Dear Anon,
>We are using regular paper now.

>> No.44059726

what are you talking about thats hot as sin

>> No.44059745

Do you...
Do you remember last summer at cape cod?

>> No.44059752
File: 113 KB, 600x633, jocrystal.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

A ghostly maiden trapped inside of a prison of quartz.

>> No.44059756

>Not quoting The Joker lyrics
For shame.

>> No.44059849

>You're the DM
>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu
>how do you avoid the magical realms?
Shit nigerian compatriot my PCs don't even need waifus to magical realm the fuck out of my campaigns, we had one tumblrite grill who was super into inflation and played a literal balloon vampire who floated around and sucked blood to get bigger. I would trade that for a simple slime waifu any day of the fucking week.

>> No.44059988

All they do is peaches and shaking trees.

>> No.44060064

FUCK thats worse than this chick who was stupid into hyperfat and played in one of my games as a 8th lvl bloodmage, corpulence applied twice. They kept describing how shitty they where at walking it was awful.

>> No.44060286

>You must
Nah. I'm the DM, not you.

>> No.44060305

I don't believe you.

>> No.44060315

How do I gain your trust then?

>> No.44060331

You want the fuckin rundown of how this came to be, my dude?

>> No.44060347

Only a blood oath will suffice.

>> No.44060361

Not that anon, but I think I'm fine without knowing.

>> No.44060377

You want a blood oath AND the greentext cause I'm fixin to get this shit off my chest.

>> No.44060384

Stop making up bullshit.

>> No.44060420

Alright you've basically asked for the greentext.

>> No.44060438

Don't try to wiggle your way out of the blood oath.

>> No.44060459

This. Go full bore so that even acknowledging the waifu's existence would be too embarrassing for the player. Eventually, he'll forget he exists.

>> No.44060465 [SPOILER] 
File: 5 KB, 125x125, 1449603039466.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.44060471

You'll get that too pal. You got any specifics or??

>> No.44060484

I give them a skeleton waifu, nothing for them to fuck without intense chaffing

>> No.44060509
File: 444 KB, 2662x2178, milk-180985235.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I want you to say no to milk.

>> No.44060541

Am I the only one who finds this hilarious?

>> No.44060575
File: 40 KB, 169x192, 1363835883708.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>read one chapter of it long ago, seemed like standard harem shit, although pretty well-drawn
>see this
>wait what
>read it
okay, gotta give it to author, he doesn't fuck around.

>> No.44060647

Well first of all:
Any monster no matter how horrific
>give to bard
>mission failed

Obviously you do this:
>mind flayer
>only interested in his/her brains
>no sexual deviancy

>how does it...
>but can it...

>undead necromancer
>give to lawful good cleric who hates undead
>kill his own waifu

>> No.44060775


>Bards are hyper-sexual fuck girls

I want this meme to leave. Not every Bard wants to hop on a werewolf dick or get fucked by the kraken.

>> No.44060840

I wanna stretch her puffy vulva

>> No.44060990
File: 86 KB, 636x900, 1409435998074.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

But they're the only class with high Charisma and a chaotic, fun-loving background. Sorcerers are supposed to be obsessed with their own power, and Paladins are oftentimes bound by some code of religion against sex, or even have issues about purity.

Though Bards are usually the guys in this scenario, not girls getting fucked.

>> No.44061111

>hyper-sexual fuck girls
Best thing ever!

>> No.44061112

Wait, wouldn't blood cause the balloon to sink?

>> No.44061156

>not just drawing dickbutt on it

>> No.44061187
File: 69 KB, 712x750, 1447829138653.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Not every Bard wants to hop on a werewolf dick or get fucked by the kraken.

The real consideration is not "Oh I want to fuck that!" but rather "Has anyone fucked this before? I will take the risk to tread these uncharted waters for the good of my kind."

It's like imagining an alien crash lands IRL, and you fucking it, because you'd be the first human ever to do something like that. It's not something to do with being slutty or wanting to fuck it, it's more an obligation you have to humankind. Like in ancient times, the people who ate things others had never eaten before, to see if they were good to eat. Some died of poison, some found the foods we eat today.

>> No.44061232
File: 66 KB, 627x429, lovelycat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Totally, I gotta take Calcium supplements because of my freakish hate of milk.

Anyway, incoming greentext of >>44059849
Be prepared.

>Known girl for a year
>Initiated friendship after noticing her on FA
>Dreadful but tru senpai
>She's a good artist and draws gore which I love
>but half her shit is inflation
>I think she's turning me through exposure
>cause i find stomachs kinda attractive now
>pitch a game of pathfinder with her, her friend, and another friend
>goes swimmingly
>i get hospitalized and the game dies in the middle of same spacefarring bullshit
>bit later
>im free bitches
>get a cheeseburger
>go back home
>rest for like 4 days
>hit them up about another sesh
>its near halloween so i mention spookery
>they all say yes
>we have a couple new dudes too so its gonna be cash
>skype call one day
>begins asking me about character creation
>"well, anon..."
>fuck she found them
>she found the bloatmages wiki page
>then the bloodmage class on d20pfsrd
>I fold because I don't wanna be the magical police
>and she didn't do anything out of the question yet
>"I wanna be a dhampir!"
>"Oh, but it's gonna be a bother for all of you if I'm trudging along at a 10 ft movement speed all day..."
>she was right
>gave her enchanted pendant that alchemically converted the properties of their blood to be lighter than air
>gave them mount to tie themselves to
>pic related, mfw I can't bring myself to fuck over the synergy of the campaign just to have this thing float off into the sky and pop so she can reroll a sheet
>mfw no one but the other dude in on it realizes how magical this realm is

>> No.44061260
File: 345 KB, 700x700, b8b7ac01d10bbb957c875991c02c805c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Mouse girl
>At least three inches tall
>Has to hitch a ride with others
>Has combat prowess with it's own pros and cons.
>Can be used for various situations
>Option to hide in armor of ally or hide somewhere else. Former can get her killed, latter can also get her killed

>> No.44061456

Anon, that's clearly a rat girl.

>> No.44061516

where did that anon said the bard is a girl, anon.

No, wait, better question

when did gender matter to the bard

>> No.44061566
File: 469 KB, 1454x969, 1405822863094.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


You realize I'm going to just let her ride around in my coat pocket all day, right? Maybe ride on my shoulder and let her nuzzle up cutely against my neck? Hold her carefully in my hands and give her a kiss on the forehead?

>> No.44061581

>Though Bards are usually the guys in this scenario, not girls getting fucked.


I mean I hate to use the word, but Bards as they're shown in your pic and /tg/ popular opinion feel an awful lot like male power fantasy, where nothing's off-limits to the Bard's (usually white) dick.

>> No.44061620
File: 89 KB, 1024x768, 15654984644.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Whatever floats your boat anon.

>> No.44061633


Maybe because most people assume bards are male, and the popular perception of bards on /tg/ is that they're white men conquering everything through diplomacy rolls and sexual prowess?


That implies no one has ever fucked a vampire or dragon before in a fantasy setting, which is absurd.

>> No.44061673

That's a cute girl whats she from?

>> No.44061687

>That implies no one has ever fucked a vampire or dragon before in a fantasy setting, which is absurd.

Of course, and in those cases it doesn't get much of an excuse. But for some completely unheard of or alien creature or monster, or one so strange or simply incompatible, that no one has knowingly fucked it before?

That's a pretty solid motivation.

>> No.44061715

Girls getting fucked is more demeaning, I guess? I don't know. The Bard getting with every girl thing has become an accepted joke, because in the past it was true enough to a degree, but in game it would fail as often as it succeeded. Bringing out a girl to sleep with everyone feels like some sort of fetish fuel and is more frowned upon.

>> No.44061723

Underrated post

>> No.44061739


I'm 89% sure people who fuck gelatinous cubes aren't seen with praise or adoration by the outside world or even their adventuring party.

I don't know, it's just my opinion in the end, but I just always imagine a suave high-CHA Bard wouldn't lower themselves to fucking beasts, because being a top shelf stud/bombshell they literally have their pick of partners at any village, town or city they go to.


They're both fetish fuel, the male bard is just more accepted because the monsters they're fucking are usually hot or exotic enough to warrant it.

>> No.44061751

I'm not really sure why one gender fucking all the everything would be more fetish fuel than the other one doing it.

>> No.44061761


Medusa waifu.

Who is also psychotic and prone to fits of petty anger and petrifying rage.

>> No.44061837


Male bard fucking the hot medusa or cutie nymph is worthy of high fives or a chorus of "aww shit" or "nice" from the other players, because ultimately it's something a lot of them would find cool to do as well.

Imagine what would happen when the female Bard gets knotted by the alpha werewolf, or comes back all loose and slimy after spending a night with the dragon *just* small enough to fuck her without ripping her apart. People find that gross, not hot.

>> No.44061867

the fuck are you talking about? I dont let people have magical realm bait normal waifus in game let alone monster ones. Go back to /a/

>> No.44061873

>People find that gross, not hot.

Not me, Anon. Not me.

>> No.44061893

You uh, you do realize where you are right?

>> No.44061894

But what if fembard isnt submissive in those relationships?
>party's faces when they see bard smoking a cigarette near the dragon sobbing quietly on a pile of gold

>> No.44061908

>People find that gross, not hot.
Well. I guess that's why I didn't understand.

>> No.44061934


Who said she was submissive in either of those scenarios? The bard initiated the encounter with that werewolf or allowed it to happen, and odds are the bard was helping the dragon every step of the way to make her a prime cocksleeve.

>> No.44061962

That's not a very fair comparison.

The male in your scenario got a hot medusa or a cutie nymph while the female got an alpha werewolf and a big dragon.

What about a handsome strapping satyr man, or a a bishie slyph?

>> No.44062014

>Female HFY bard (or any class really) who seeks to establish dominance and prove superiority over other races, even monstrous, by beating them into submission with her vagina and fucking them into the dirt

Probably something like a barbarian or fighter would be better than a bard in this case.

>> No.44062052


Those work as well, although last time a satyr was introduced the party was salty as fuck about his history with a PC's waifu.

But you're right, I only used the werewolf and dragon because they're male versions of the same scenario used in those lame bard comics we like so much.

>> No.44062059

she is my dmpc
it was a shotgun marriage to the bard
she is incredibly ugly even for an orc

>> No.44062134
File: 48 KB, 500x493, 1430952359380.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Yeah, at that point it's more delving into the warrior woman and snu snu angle of the fetish anyway.

What about the bard just being overwhelming in bed? I can't really describe it well, but not physically overwhelming as much as attacking from far too many angles, so to speak.

>> No.44062443

I suppose you could avoid the snu snu warrior woman angle if the bard is, like you said really persuasive, femininely attractive, and has a massive CON.

She doesn't beat the minotaur into submission, but she tempts him into fucking her and then wears him out in the act with her vast experience. Her extreme endurance and constitution means she can take a dicking and keep on ticking, but is still soft and curvy rather than musclebound.

>Get kidnapped by the dragon
>Actually manage to seduce him, normally his concerns only pertaining to treasure and plotting, but you somehow tugged on his heartstrings despite being small and soft and charming
>No matter how he goes about it, he can't manage to fuck you into submission as you yawn and smile and call him pet names and tell him sweet nothings
>Through the frustration of it, and exerted effort of trying to break you, he ends up exhausting himself humiliatingly
>You turn the tables and actually put forth an effort and blow his mind, despite your soft tiny form
>Leave him in a dizzy, dumbfounded but happy haze with a lasting kiss, as you make off with some treasure
>He is a proud, superior dragon to be feared and capable of leveling cities... and yet he feels a longing that only increases with time
>Might take a few days, months or even years, but you stole his heart and poisoned his mind, driving him to pining and perhaps even attempting to seek you out again like a lovesick puppy

>> No.44062601


Why can't it just be a woman that really likes a good, hard dick? You're going about it at some sort of domination angle when it's just as easy to say the woman is a size queen and enjoys a pair of strong, powerful paws/claws/hands on her while taking it.

Hell, at the end of it the bard might wind up pregnant, isn't that a popular thing in these stories?

>> No.44062617

A kobold.

Is just a kobold doing kobold things, behaving like an absolutely average npc, tending to the camp while her husbando is away dungeon crawling and having a dog to keep her company

>> No.44062645
File: 67 KB, 787x523, kitty want.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm going to have to stop you right there, because that's too damn good.

>> No.44062659

To be real, if you intend to be a promiscuous adventuress, investing in effective birth control seems like a no-brainer. Pregnancy and the ensuing kids are a bit of a damper on the adventuring. I like to imagine bards in particular have magic for that sort of thing.

>> No.44062688


Let's be fair here, some of those things you're fucking has seed you might really want to quicken.

For example, getting fucked by a hunkish Archon might give you a blessed womb, a half-celestial son/daughter, and a pregnancy that might come and go within a week.

>> No.44062773

Because that's...fetishy?

Yes, I know, it's all fetishy, but somehow that's just the fetish that isn't as acceptable. Probably because it's so blatant.

>> No.44062827

Is the ring its self protected from Acid?

>> No.44062842

>Bardbarian Amazon who's traveling the world to sample ALL the dicks, no matter how many skulls or pelvis she has to crush to do so
This is my fetish

>> No.44062908

Literal worst cunt ever.

Fuck that bitch.

>> No.44062972


How is "I want that dick inside me" more blatant than "I want to doggy style the werewolf?"

>> No.44063052

If I was DMing a game where this came up, I'd use it as a chance to spring some culture shock on my players.

Kobold waifu? Better get used to checking EVERYTHING YOU OWN for traps before you use it. Why WOULDN'T she trap your stuff? That's ALWAYS the safe thing to do, it stops people from kicking in your door and stealing it! ...Wait, what do you mean humans don't have that problem?

Gnoll waifu? Sorry, I don't do futa, she's just a big, brazen, loud, crass and direct savage. She may act like "one of the guys" normally, but get her in the sack and she'll give a solid try at breaking your pelvis with hers.

Goblin waifu? I hope you like loud shortstacks with poor bathing habits and a proclivity for setting shit on fire.

Of course, all of these become way more fun when they bring the PC home to meet their family. Most player characters would have a hard time walking around upright in Kobold warrens, and joining the Gnoll's family for dinner is going to take a very strong stomach for undercooked meat. Tuck in, it'd be rude not to!

>> No.44063194

Welp, time to make a class based on this!

>> No.44063214


It's less a class and more a bonus to the character, maybe a template.

A blessed womb is a very useful thing to have, you see.

>> No.44063238

It's not domination in that case, it's treating sex/sexual experience as though it were something level-based or as a point-based skill.

The bard is just so much higher level or skill than the thing that's fucking her, and she has the CON to take it without injury, that she ends up outperforming the other thing and wearing it out, even if it is the one soundly dominating her.

Imagine like an ultra advanced and pleasurable sex toy that gets you off in a matter of moments and gives mind-shattering orgasms that leave you physically exhausted and emotionally and mentally drained. You can be in a position where you're fucking it, and were it a creature you are without a doubt dominating it, but it still sexually outperforms you. Dominance has nothing to do with it.

>tl;dr the dragon holds and uses the smaller human like a fleshlight with the intent of just ruining her and putting her in her place with his size and strength, and is obviously the dominant one, but despite his best efforts and pained struggle to avoid it, her vastly superior sexual prowess causes him to ahegao instead and collapse in an exhausted powerless heap
>Meanwhile she just laughs it off and would be ready to go for another few hours and another several rounds, but simply wore the dragon out and tells him he did his best to try and make him feel better while sitting beside him and patting him on the head

>> No.44063291

>Pseudo-rapey sizeplay that winds up being consensual

Ow, right in the fetish

>> No.44063323

The size queen aspect throws a spanner in it.

Saying "I want to fuck that werewolf", male or female, might be fetishy but still just ties back to simple sex.

Saying "I want the biggest dicks I can take" or "I want only werewolf pussy because it is superior for X reason" is going a step farther.

>> No.44063331

Reminds me of some story by O.Henry. Called "Gift of the Magi" or something.

>> No.44063436

>A blessed womb is a very useful thing to have, you see.

Not for an adventurer. Or rather, it's useful for anyone, but it's not much use when it's not being used.

Something like the womb belonging to a cleric of a faith who was blessed with magic reproductive organs and devotes effort to bearing many magic children for the faith is more useful than the womb belonging to an adventuring bard who fucked so many things her reproductive organs turned magic, but she won't be having any kids for at least several years when she retires and settles down, and even then might only have a couple kids that are part of her family rather than a church or organization.

>> No.44063586
File: 46 KB, 500x244, d&D beasts bowler.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Their waifu is a Bowler that took a liking to the PC one day when they leaned up against her to use the shade cast by her massive body after a long day of adventuring.

>> No.44063616

I remember seeing a comic specifically about a bard who had a baby with a rock

>> No.44063647

succubus and give it to the paladin.

it's been done long before monstergirls were a thing.

>> No.44063657


Well thankfully most players' magical realms don't include boulders.

>> No.44063919


Monster girls were around way before that, anon.

>> No.44063953

What about sphinx?

>> No.44063970


Sphinx are not for sexual.

>> No.44063974

>roll to see if you get your rocks off

>> No.44064004
File: 409 KB, 517x768, 1435658050136.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44064019

Oh, he can get his rocks off. Beryl-y.

>> No.44064022
File: 730 KB, 1100x778, Sphinx in Repose.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I disagree.

>> No.44064107



>> No.44064121
File: 281 KB, 459x829, raspberyl.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

you sick fuck

>> No.44064127


>> No.44064579
File: 299 KB, 482x610, 1436823933866 (1).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Lamia, allow it to be as magical realm as the party wants

>> No.44065306


>> No.44065341

Is that sum ShindoL? The 'monogatari one?

>> No.44065361


there adorable untell you take two steps into a cave and are covered in them

>> No.44065392
File: 90 KB, 530x627, 090413.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>not going in properly prepared

>> No.44065416


What, furaffinity?

>> No.44065422

In my setting the MCs mentor (A Golem) marries a Drider

>> No.44065567

I'm not seeing a downside in this instance.

Crobat a brobat though. Always have one.

>> No.44065678
File: 1.98 MB, 776x1053, THE_BEST.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not MM, but I've always wanted to see a warforged with a Docent as a waifu.

>> No.44065843
File: 202 KB, 1000x789, 1409391354898.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I disagree harder.

>> No.44066711

>Not magical realm

Kinda hard to do m8, unless you make them horrible creatures with no sense of right and wrong, at which point you can't really waifu well.

Anyway, I'd go Arachne, but I could never get it by my group without getting called out.

>> No.44066749

Giant squid monster waifu.

Enjoy your Cephalopod wife.

>> No.44066857
File: 100 KB, 313x750, 1448749719678.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

And dont forget all of you guys. This gigantic discussion about fetish, sex, and bards started because I made a single offhand comment about bards and magical realms. And fell directly into my trap.

>mfw I read the replies, and where this thread went.

>> No.44066893

I don't avoid the magical realm, I plunge straight into it head on by making the magical realmery part of the storyline and making the monster waifu someone who is somewhat important to the storyline.

>> No.44066941

Railroad into the waifu magical realm so hard the players are scared straight and try to play serious characters

>> No.44066952

Why should I avoid magical realms if it doesn't do any harm? Don't you guys play with your friends? All I can say is, if my friend wants a harpie friend, he better have it be well written and well thought out. He can fuck it all he likes if so.

>> No.44067010

Voyeurist kitsune waifu. She entertains herself by tricking each member of the party into thinking that a different, wholly human character is their kitsune lover, then gets off by provoking love triangles and misunderstandings that continually keep the relationships on the verge of total collapse. The human women are entirely ignorant of this and are merely aglow with happiness that such (apparently) perfect lovers they've found, and are desperate to hold on to them.
She has a bet running with a tanuki on which pair will snap and kill someone first.

>> No.44067076

>Sphinx talking in double entendres, circling the party, hips swaying seductively with a hungry look in her eyes
>Ask them if they want to chance a riddle against her, with a smirk she tells them that if they win they can do anything they want with her, if she wins she gets to magically bind them and "gobble them up" at her leisure
>Asks the party a lewd sounding riddle, answer is someone obvious if you don't have your mind in the gutter
>If they get it wrong turns out she was literal about gobbling them up and the sphinx lazily walks off, belly full of paralyzed adventurers swaying beneath her, as she finds a nice sunny spot to doze off
>If they get it right she owes them a favor, if that favor is even remotely lewd she turns beat red and starts stuttering before freaking out and fleeing

>> No.44067148

So did you want me to try and fail this or what. Because I am definitely trying to get this wrong.

>> No.44067163

Daily reminder to play the table, not the game.

>> No.44067186

I kind of want to pitch a waifu for my group to fight over, just because I want to see them exhibit some sort of interest in another person beyond just "This girl is in trouble and we need to protect her (...until we forget about her when the plot moves a bit and she gets sidelined since she's not a main character)".

The thing is, I have no idea how my players think when it comes to this shit. Like, one of my guys started a list of all the girls he came across along with their disposition to him, but this fell by the wayside shortly after, since one of the first names on it was the Queen's personal bodyguard (who is a lesbian) who gave him the cold shoulder, and the second name was the captain of the entire city guard. There's been women since then, but he seems to have forgotten that "lecherous skirt-chaser" was a thing he was playing when the game started, and so if you watched interactions with them, you'd think the party is completely devoid of any feeling other than "Justice!".

Also, I tried before. I dropped a curious Shae on them to see their reaction, which was nothing. I dunno what kind of girls, monster or otherwise, would get my group to even pay attention.

>> No.44067206

Depends on if you want to become cat fat or get a favor from a sexy sphinx that's afraid of lewd

>> No.44067225

Both of these work for me.

>> No.44067315

Vorefags, please go.

>> No.44067333

Cat fat it is, hope you enjoy getting added to her sleek and muscular body and bumping up her kitty titties a bit

I'm done
Unless someone else brings it up again

>> No.44067375

Why is it always vore. Why? I just want to put my dick in the monsters, is that so strange?

>> No.44067477

Why put just your dick when you could put everything in monsters?

But seriously, I think it might be a mix role players being better able to get into a mindset where they can play a roll in an impossible fetish, vore being able to hit many fetish triggers, and role players being better able to suspend disbelief when it comes to ignoring the negative aspects of it or parts they don't find sexy

>> No.44067604

I'll always be here anon, ALWAYS. Even when you don't know it!

>> No.44068290
File: 129 KB, 869x400, Whitey-You-Guys.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44068363
File: 426 KB, 900x1124, No_3849.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44068380 [DELETED] 
File: 186 KB, 762x1048, 1442985992184.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44068443
File: 924 KB, 804x640, dorfffffff3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

A dwarf
A drunken, smelly, hairy dwarf

Though I bet they would only enjoy it
Anyway, dwarves are short, hairy, barely house trained and dig holes. Not much different from some beast or monster.

>> No.44068475

DM for me.

>> No.44068481

I yell "MAN IS THE REAL MONSTER" dramatically everytime my shitty group that apparently forced me into this complains about no monster girls.

All women are normal in the campaign.

>> No.44068579


>thing that never happened

>> No.44068677

>I dunno what kind of girls, monster or otherwise, would get my group to even pay attention.

You need a girl that's interesting as a character, not just a love interest. They need to be someone the party *wants* to interact with.

Personally? The best "starter" love interests are Kitsune or Huldra. For Kitsune, just have them constantly running into a Not!Asian attractive woman stuffed to the gills with divine magic, and wherever she is mischief and trickery follows. After a while, have the party help her out of a bind, and the woman attaches herself to her "savior" (find a PC she gravitates towards) and insists she follow him to repay the debt. From time to time she'll show up to camp with a "gift" that turns out to be stolen from the local corrupt bureaucrat or boastful soldier.

Huldra are a lot easier, since they're seductive, assertive creatures by nature. The party runs across a beautiful Scandinavian woman wearing something similar to >>44058059, and insists she just *has* to follow along and help out. She should be a strong, capable fighter with some innate magic, and flirty. If a PC is receptive, have her show up in his bed that night, claiming she was keeping it warm and, if he's interested, can "join" her... Or go the other route, where she confesses her feelings for a PC but says she'll only do the dirty if they get married, whereupon she loses the tail and hollow back (but nothing else, can still bend red-hot horseshoes with her bare hands should she feel like it.)

For both of these you gotta be proactive with your love interests. Less "I'm making her a waifu" and more "she made me a husbando."

>> No.44068733

>I cannot identify hypothetical scenarios.

>> No.44068739

Well yes anon it never happened. Because the OP is a hypothetical question you mungonaut.

>> No.44069149

Unfortunately, our game is pretty solidly urban, and the party are pretty solidified outlaws, so just bringing in lovey-dovey Fey won't work too well.

Kitsune might work, if only to appeal to one of my kinda weeaboo players. I just hope they don't get them confused with the Rakshasas coming later...

>> No.44069484 [DELETED] 

way to ruin the fucking art anon

>> No.44069750

In a Shadowrun game I'm in, at one point while we were infiltrating a Humanis event, an elven chick pulls out and unfolds a grenade launcher from her purse and fires it at the boss of the event - after she'd let off a few shots at him through a gun hidden in a book. Before we can even begin to say what the fuck, she'd ran to her nearby motorcycle and driven away.

I can't really explain why, but I just feel head over heels for a while until the events of the campaign firmly split us apart. Maybe your party would appreciate that sort of strength and badassery.

Not my work, man. That's just how I saved it.

>> No.44070067 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 114 KB, 500x688, 1449642013222.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Don't say I never did anythin for ya.

>> No.44070135 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 249 KB, 1024x1409, 1449642374615.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>using the tiny version

>> No.44070301

Yesterday, I found out one of the players in my group was part of a Steam group called 'Vore Lovers'. It was a bit awkward, needless to say.

>> No.44070407

I know this is bait. Even Anon knows you don't just tell something to get over an integral part of its very existence. But it upsets me none the less.

>> No.44070419

A big red toolbox who likes to fit all kinds of tools inside her.

>> No.44070654

I let /d/ creep into my one on one game. At the end my best friend had a super smart barb/wiz gnoll waifu, a yandere sea dragon that viewed him as the prize of her collection, and a anthropomorphized wolf animal companion that was secretly gay as fuck for his master.

God I wish I had a group to lewd with. I hate being the only one in my group that wants to go lewd places.

>> No.44070806

Dare I ask for story time?

>> No.44070845

It was to long ago for me to put together anything more than highlights.

>> No.44070892

Find a lewd group on the side then

That is fine

>> No.44071028
File: 845 KB, 682x1171, D+d+monster+girls+gnoll+a+humanoid+monster+closely+related+to_92b027_5301036.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I've looked but I haven't found anyone. Its also kinda hard. You cant just say "Hey I want you to DM a game where I get violently tenti and mind raped by mind flayers.

>1 on 1 solo since we were groupless but had the itch to play
>He was playing a ranger with a wolf AC
>Went BCish with the setting
>Part of the wolf tribe
>All the elk are dead and his tribe is starving
>Chosen to go on a quest to save his people
>First night got attacked by a zombie that was a former wolf tribesman
>Wolf becomes infected and became intelligent
>Second day encounters a cave
>Scares a group of stirges
>Freaks out and kills one
>The stirge was a mother
>Adopts its children and keeps them warm in his furs
>Encounters a bear tribesman the size of a small house
>Bear tribe is now in wolf territory searching for food since all the elk are gone
>Promises him he will bring the elk back
>Continues on finding a trail of dead elk
>The elk were mutilated but all shared a trait
>The elks were small or anorexic
>Finds a cave with 2 gnoll guards
>Tries to be a tricky dicky
>Tries to talk
>Tries to talk
>Runs away and searches for a different way in
>Finds a cave
>Angry boar on the inside
>Pacifys the boar and frees it
>Cave ends in ruins
>Finds himself in a room with a single gnoll pick axing rock
>Pic related
>Over hears her muttering and cursing in common
>Talks to her
>One thing led to another and they end up cuddling for warmth that night


>> No.44071059

>You cant just say "Hey I want you to DM a game where I get violently tenti and mind raped by mind flayers.
Anything is possible on the internet.

>> No.44071093

His Waifu is aromantic agender an unable to communicate, with no physical form and is only known to the PC and they are unable to know or communicate with it.

But it does provide +/- roll modifiers whenever he does something it approves or disapproves of.

>> No.44071102

>Turns out she is exceptionally smart for a gnoll and can use magic
>The tribe leaders hate her for this and locker her in a room to pointlessly mine rock
>Explore rest of ruins
>Kill off her tribe one by one
>Recover a dagger that when you hit the pummel either a cold iron or an adamantine blade shoots out
>Fight the tribe leaders
>Learn that the gnolls were killing the elk and sacrificing their meat for something
>Find map to a place
>Follow said map
>Finds a door in the side of a mountain
>Triggers a trap that seals them in permanently
>He shrugs and keeps going
>Ends up fighting a pestilence daemon god thing
>Was supposed to be his death
>Wolf dies
>He manages to kill it
>Recovers a spear clad in leaves
>Elk god descends and thanks him
>Tells him with one thrust into the ground the spear will replenish all wildlife in the area
>He gets one wish as well
>He chooses to bring back his wolf
>Wolf comes back with the angelic template and cured of his zombie affliction
>Wills himself into a humanoid form
>Elk god teleports them out side
>He thrusts the spear into the ground reviving the elk
>On his way home the boar from earlier guides him to a tower
>Door is locked
>After much frustration and DM fiat he learns his dagger is the key
>Inside is a Feng Shui dragon
>Dragon tells him his destiny is grand and his selflessness woke him from slumber
>Turns his dagger into a sword that can also split into two as well as rainbow dragon hide armor for him and his wolf


>> No.44071182

>Best friend is riding high on cloud nine
>Return to his tribe to find out they were all killed by gnolls
>Fucks cute gnoll waifu in the ruins of his former village
>Decides to go south into the forbidden lands
>Shit ton of hand holding and cutesy shit between him and his now girlfriend gnoll
>Comes upon a never ending sky high wall
>Somehow gets past I forget
>Now in Not!China
>Hilarity ensues as Not!China is full of laws and structure
>Gets to Not!Beijing
>Gets in a fist fight
>Attracts the interest of a dojo in need of just one more person for a tournament
>Gets invited to pic related

>Time skip

>On the hunt for a dragon as a challenge
>Dragon leaps from the sea and attacks
>Instead of fighting he talks
>I roll with it
>As the first person to ever talk to her she becomes obsessed with him
>Claims him
>Gnoll GF gets pissy
>Waifu catfight happens
>Threw THREE fucking nat 20's calms them both down
>Dragon agrees not to kill gnoll GF just yet
>Starts getting dominatrixy
>Tells him he is hers and she will not allow her prize jewel to be tainted by "filth"
>Lots of snide remarks between gnoll waifu and new dragon waifu
>Dragon waifu fucks him that night
>Gnoll waifu fucks him right after to prove she is better
>Finish adventure quickly after that

And thats basically it

>> No.44071214

Possible, yes. But where will I even start looking?

>> No.44071295

Good shit?
Good shit.

>Newfag in my campaign deduced something and rolled a knowledge planes check, succeeded, and informed the party to not panic

Brought a tear to my eye, he's on his way.

>> No.44071468
File: 2.93 MB, 400x372, 1406670965772.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44071632

This is literally what Bardbarian/skalds(if you're into PF) are for.

>> No.44071725

>nuff' said

>> No.44071829

>tfw the DM did this to me

>> No.44071994

So... A succubus?

>> No.44072024

It's not magical or supernatural cause of pleasure though, just raw experience, and physical mastery over controlling/manipulating the right parts of their own body, couple with the know-how of exploiting the other person's body.

>> No.44072060

S- source?

>> No.44072084

Click for random monster waifu:


>> No.44072094
File: 906 KB, 160x120, 1381295281167.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>"I got it covered."
>Holding a condom

>> No.44072103

So basically a skill-based succubus. Due to sheer experience, skills and your physique you attain succubus level sexual prowess, where you can drain, exhaust, and satisfy anyone.... Except yourself.

>> No.44072126


Life is suffering ;_;

>> No.44072136


Hot damn I hit the jackpot. Now if only it was real and when I wake up tomorrow I wake up with her.

>> No.44072144

You can't magically harm them though, like stealing their soul as a succubus might. Unless of course you've fucked enough magic things for some power to have rubbed off on you, but that could be any number of effects, rather than just soul stealing.

And of course, if you've got that much experience and self-control, you can definitely be satisfied by it if you want. To be more precise, on a basic level with no effort on your part, it's no less satisfying than it would be for a normal person (barring damage to your "parts"), your pleasure tolerance is just so much higher. You could just lay there like a dead fish and get fucked and orgasm, it's just not what you're used to and isn't particularly memorable. If you put effort into it and choose to let it be that way, it can be mind-blowing for you as well.

>> No.44072147

Andersson's bard makes out pretty well.


>> No.44072171

My magical realm missed you by miles...
Last part was the key!
Permanently frustrated female bard that can't get off no matter what!

>> No.44072185

Fur irritant?

get fuuuuuuuucked, Stackpole

>> No.44072217

That happens in real life though, like to prostitutes for example.

>> No.44072381

>+1 condom
well done

Took some searching but apparently its from

>> No.44072388

I wonder how much effort he spent practicing that troll face. pretty epic though

>> No.44072399

>That's a cute girl whats she from?
that is a homosexual boy

>Jackoff crystal
>I have seen it glow white when I jack it off with a bro that is how I know it is real
Rejoice! Magic has been PROVEN!

Hey, I didn't see that one before.

>> No.44072412

>You must allow at least one of your characters to have a monster waifu
Why must you?
>What kind of monster is it and how do you avoid magical realms?
Its a waifu, its inherently non magical realm unless they are doing it rong.
Just make a hard rule of them not sharing any sexual details. PC is happily married to a subhuman. Don't ask, don't tell

>> No.44073929

>you're the dm
fuck this, we're playing MAID
>what kind
I'm rerolling if I get a human
>how to avoid magical realm
non lethal gameplay and the waifu is the BBEG

>> No.44074326

A pc ones forcefully took a waifu in one of my games. It's been a while but the gist is:
>party level 14; sorcerer, rogue, ranger.
>tasked with killing vampire coven
>sneak in through dungeon
Side note, this was a very morally loose group, TN, LE, and CN. They hid on the person of some peasant with some spell caster bs and got him thrown in the dungeons to get inside the place. Creative group.
>party trekking through the lower halls of the keep.
>come to hedge maze magically protected and patrolled by lycanthropes.
>crawling their way through, they find the den. Women and children werewolves.
>slaughter den accept one young female werewolf.
>sorcerer is: my cousin, furry, literal ass-burgers.
>tries to keep forced waifu docile
>blows most of his spells
>puts waifu in cage, long BEG confrontation, comes back for her.
>crafts item to give werewolf waifu obedience, intelligence, devotion to him. Uses all his gold
>uses boon with king to have his waifu pardoned for crime of being werewolf, can now walk around in public.

The other two chose holdings and became lords. But the sorcerer got a legal werewolf waifu.

>> No.44074365


>how do you avoid magical realms?

I don't. Why would I?

>> No.44074419

Ancient dragon that shapeshifts into the same race to be with you. It's been done thousands of times and it's almost so cliche at this point that it barely triggers "magical realm" for most normies or gamers.

Like it's just assumed that dragons can shapeshift and sometimes decide to settle down with a mage or particularly strong adventurer for the 70 or so years they have during the short mortal life span.

>> No.44074701

Shit taste.

>> No.44074768

That ghosts that cant interact with world or be seen

>> No.44074932
File: 32 KB, 640x480, 1446187002747.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Humans have shitty lifespans
>Monster girls will never truly be happy with them
>Kitsunes and dragons will be forced to watch their loved one die and live the majority of their life out without them
>Elementals have it even worse as they're practically immortal

Imagine falling in love with a girl who only has a month to live. It's kind of like that.

>> No.44074967
File: 134 KB, 900x636, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44074972
File: 23 KB, 210x200, best grill.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Drider Waifu
She has no bondage fetish or anything like that. Shes pretty chill and enjoys using her silk to make clothes for the needy.

>> No.44074995

So Towergirls Drider Princess?

>> No.44075023
File: 147 KB, 636x900, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44075027

more or less
But with out the bondage
to avoid magic realm.
I my self do not have a bondage fetish, but what if someone in the party did, or the DM threw someone at us who does?
Then it goes MR pretty fucking quickly.

>> No.44075034
File: 129 KB, 636x900, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44075060
File: 51 KB, 493x610, oops.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not sure if its the same guy
But it fits

>> No.44075074

As Towergirls went on, bondage and vore were removed from Drider and added to others. Her remaining "bondage" was sensory heightening rather than deprivation, like blindfold on eyes and strawberry in mouth or silk clothing.
Drider became the one nobody else can love due to being considered creepy and princess of a kingdom of outcasts.

>> No.44075104
File: 177 KB, 1000x707, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Same artist. The Bard was with a dragon too though.

>> No.44075125
File: 103 KB, 636x731, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44075159

Why would that make you cry?

>> No.44075161
File: 154 KB, 636x900, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44075239
File: 128 KB, 566x800, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44075263
File: 161 KB, 636x900, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.44075270

Bard and Elf really need to fuck and get it over with.

>> No.44075272

Think she's trying to get him to seduce the other elf so she can watch the buttsex.

>> No.44075307

>People find that gross, not hot.

The fuck are you talking about.

>> No.44075393

>people find that gross, not hot


>> No.44075407
File: 156 KB, 636x900, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The Dwarf already suggested it ages ago.

Only recently did the Bard discover she's female though.

>> No.44075448
File: 131 KB, 636x900, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Succu-dragon origin relevant?

>> No.44075547
File: 337 KB, 1024x768, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Not liking human women with xenos

Back to /40kpol/ with you.

>> No.44075658

>female shepard and muh garrus bf

Back to present day tumblr with you.

>> No.44075669
File: 240 KB, 680x962, mantis kawaii uguu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Thri-kreen and I don't avoid it at all because this IS my magical realm.

Also he has to use this for his waifu's character portrait

>> No.44075749
File: 193 KB, 1280x837, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Thinking spreading the nectar of humanity throughout the universe is "tumblr"
Charlie Chaplin said it best. Humanity is love.

>> No.44075750

be a pretty shitty magical artifact if it wasn't.

>> No.44075813

Okay, that's actually kind of cute

>> No.44075988

On the other-hand, Driders exist because Loth acts like a crazy ex whenever her dark elves try to get away from her.

It is almost as bad beign around Drizzt clone #247 as being around a Drow still doing the evil thing because there is going to be a conga line of dark elves wanting to ritualy sacrafice the Drizzt clone for Loth's favor.

>> No.44076047

The only safe Drow are the worshipers of Eilistraee.

>> No.44076083

I'm still not unconvinced they're not also crazy femdom elves, just with less murder

>> No.44076097

>crazy femdom elves, just with less murder
Pretty much summarizes all elves in my setting when compared to the drow

>> No.44076199
File: 994 KB, 800x1000, intertwined___page_3_by_darkenedsparrow-d54ik14.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I come from /co/ bearing the fruits of a storytime yesterday. I thought of you asshats, famiglia.

Just to clarify, it's a Nymph.

>> No.44076458

I...uh... what?

>> No.44076518

No lore supports it, and she herself is describes as being her father's daughter.
So they'd just be black skinned High/Wood Elves.

One book mentions females of Eilistraee being in power, but only because "old habits die hard". No murder tendencies or males having no rights though.

>> No.44076664 [DELETED] 

Rolf falls for a Nymph. It only gets stupider from there.

Also, be sure to read the one before it about Ed and the ghost chicken.

>> No.44076740

Rolf falls for a Nymph. It only gets stupider from there.

Also, be sure to read the one before it about Ed and the ghost chicken.

>> No.44076886

I'll just catch a dozen of them if they look like that. Or more. Until I have enough.

>> No.44078268

I'd say they're all winners

>> No.44078402

Anyone have any mantis girl pics?

>> No.44079463
File: 223 KB, 400x604, Zodar_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Give that nigga a Zodar waifu.

>> No.44079563

I'm not into it, I just meant that if they're going to use an acidic slimegirl as an argument for how to make slimegirls not a sex thing, they probably shouldn't use an acidic slimegirl for whom consuming and dissolving human men is absolutely a sex thing.

>> No.44079592
File: 43 KB, 600x550, 1433920643747.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Christ, do you want me to fail?

>> No.44079616

>only experiences feeling, emotion or affection during sex
pretty shitty "wife" right there.

>> No.44079662

The sphinx does, if you're extra delicious or amusing she'll probably take her time to taste/tease every inch of you

Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.