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[ERROR] No.44002252 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

So you have hired a drow girl to babysit your kids while you are off.

What can go wrong/right?

>> No.44002307

pet spiders swaddle children in silk for nap time.

>> No.44002338

Yay for spiders!

>> No.44002351

Best case, she teaches them to appreciate life, even the lives of vastly different creatures, like spiders. It would be a nice multicultural experience.

Worst case, the kids start worshiping Lolth. (I'm assuming I know her to be an upstanding Drow that won't just kill them and rob my house or anything)

>> No.44002372

Assuming she is desperate since she works for me as a babysitter. So I would offer more money and fuck her

>> No.44002652

My kids would make her life into hell on earth.

Seriously, they are restless.

>> No.44002674

Drow have an inversion of our own gender division of labor, so the babysitter is probably more likely to be a guy. Maybe just a feminine one that you assumed was a girl, OP.

>> No.44002677

The children get into her bag and break ritual object to lolth and get her exiled from menzo. She shows up with bags packed in the middle of the night asking to trade the spare basement room for more work.

>> No.44002727

>Daddy, daddy! Did you know you're never more than a meter away from a spider?

>> No.44002757

If a drow is willing to babysit for you they either believe they are your slave, or they are pretending they are your slave.

>> No.44002761


>Drow males

Everyone knows that male drow are all slavs. They're the opposite of feminine, which is probably why among all of great elf society they're looked down upon.

>> No.44002796

A drow babysitter would probably be a really shitty babysitter to be honest. Would probably either neglect or outright abuse the kids, verbally most likely, though a light smack here or there would be expected.

>> No.44002812

Rolled 3 (1d20)

1) The babysitter eats your children
2) The babysitter and your children eat your neighbours
3) One of your children is sacrificed to the babysitter's demonic patron, the others gain immense infernal power
4) Your children are replaced by facsimiles composed entirely of spiders
5) Each of your children now has one gigantic, overly friendly pet spider
6) Your children are spiders now, but it turns out they were spiders all along
7) Your children are forced into a test of self-worth. One fails and becomes a juvenile spider-centaur.
8) Your children now worship Lolth
9) The male children are exiled from the house. Ownership of all your property is transferred to the female children.
10) Your children appear normal and unharmed, but grow up to develop a terrible silk fetish.
11) Your children appear normal and unharmed, but grow up to become serial killers.
12) Your children appear normal and unharmed, but never grow up.
13) You come home to find all your valuables stolen and your children webbed to the ceiling.
14) You return home to a collapsed house and a deep pit leading into the Underdark.
15) You return home to a collapsed house with your children inside, under siege from an alliance of Duergar and Mindflayers
16) Your children has been sold as slaves to the babysitter's House Matron
17) Your children were to be sold as slaves to the babysitter's House Matron, but in a clever betrayal tricked the babysitter into selling herself instead. Impressed, the House Matron has adopted them.
18) Your children now compulsively chase and eat flies.
19) Your children now naturally secrete venom and/or webbing from their mouths.
20) Your children all have 8 limbs now

>> No.44002834

Great, now I can't think about this song without thinking about a drow teaching human kids to respect spiders.

>> No.44002844

>drow sleep poison

Worst Case: She gives them too much.
Best Case: She gives you the recipe.

>> No.44002847

Drow men are like whatever the hell Drow women want them to be like.

>> No.44002878


>> No.44002912

Best chart. Stealing. For something.

>> No.44002932

Considering my current character is a Drow, she's likely the one to have hired the Babysitter.
In which case she's made sure she got one that isn't the sterotypical Underdark Drow.

This limits her potential pool of babysitters by a large margin.
The only Non-Underdark drow she knows is that one nice Florist girl back in the trader run city.
She would probably be up for looking after them. teaching them about various flowers and the flower codes. Foral arrangments and how to swindle adventurers.

She still owes us two gold and a good handful of copper.

>> No.44002954

>Everyone knows that male drow are all slavs.
Not really.
They can be wizards, mercenaries, merchants and lots of other things.
As a wizards you may even manage to become the second hand of the matriarch.
It all depends how smart he is.

>> No.44002999

He didn't say slaves. He said slavs.

>> No.44003072

About like this.


>> No.44003141

>Drow slavs
>CYKA BLYAT intestifies.
I remember that thread!

>> No.44003159

Requesting Drolf The Son of The Spider Shepherd.

>> No.44003616


>> No.44003707

I prefer this version.

Brevity is the soul of wit after all, and after this the posts get almost criminally unfunny.

>> No.44003922

The waifuism ruins the long version.Just like nearly all writing on /tg/

>> No.44004475

> 10) Your children appear normal and unharmed, but grow up to develop a terrible silk fetish.

Of all these things it's probably THE most normal one.

>> No.44004604

Drow have great asses, so at the very least my son is going to be an ass man.

>> No.44004675

Your kids now have a femdom fetish
Probably a older woman fetish too

>Drow have great asses
>YFW you come home to find the drow took the phrase babysitter literally
>YFW your son now loves being facesat

>> No.44004689

>Ass glitter

>> No.44004698

>Thinks it's either funny or sexy to make jokes that involve sexual abuse of children in babysitting age.

Fuck you, man.

>> No.44004715

Look at things other than her ass, either she's covered in glitter or that's part of her skin

>> No.44004738

>Sparkling drow

>> No.44004751

You do not hire a drow female. You hire a drow male.

>> No.44004761

>What can go wrong/right?
A game of Governess: the Whipping ensues.

>> No.44004763

That's just her spell resistance showing.

>> No.44004766

Everything turns out pretty well, except now my third son is dead.

>> No.44004767

>Drow babysitting kids
There's only one to two ways that could "realistically" go
Fetish is the lest horrifying

>> No.44004781

>Drow covers her ass in glitter
>Wants to see how much she can get on your face before the night is over

>> No.44004801

Get this magical realm bullshit out of my internet, please.

>> No.44004944

personally I think that child abuse is the single funniest/sexiest thing ever

>> No.44005014

For some reason reminded me of this snippit I wrote a long time ago
>Drow spends years trying to train spiders as tailors
>It occurs to her they are too stupid to do so.
>Maybe if she trained them first, then made them a spider?
>Buys young slave boy freshly caught from the surface.
>Trains him in the basics of tailoring.
>Makes sure he knows he'll be happy only if she is happy and him making pretty clothes makes her happy.
>After he's good enough have him polymorphed and have it permanented.
>Train him some more, partially to get him used to his new form, partially to be more skilled.
>He gets good enough she lets him make her clothes
>A few days latter as he is scurrying across her body laying down silk for a form fitting nighty, she notices how cute and fuzzy he now is.
>She tries her best but eventually his cuteness wins out, she buys him a collar, leash, chew toys, spiderbed (almost never used, he sleeps cuddled with her each night), and takes him on daily walkies.
>Shota slave is the happiest he’s ever been, sure it was scary at first here underground, but then the nice lady took him in. She’s much kinder than the folks at the orphanage, she makes sure he’s warm, well fed, has plenty of toys, and taught him how to make such pretty dresses. Plus she turned him into a spider, spiders are so cool, he never want to go back.

Anyone got more ideas for drow X shota stuff? I feel like writing

>> No.44005020

>doesn't use superior Metric system

>> No.44005023

Considering drow are now more than evil monster baddies with vanilla support from a PHB as a player character (the idea being that the PHB would be the more powerful argument towards the "norm" that a splash book or errata), I imagine I would just be hiring the first drow I saw and I'd probably have some kind of vetting process. I may even wind up with an adventurer who needs extra cash.

Worst case scenario, I come home to everyone and everything within a day's travel of my home dead. My children are dead. All of the items which could be carried by a normal sized creature--by any stretch of logic--are gone. There are the strewn bodies of creatures which have not appeared in lands in some time, with seemingly no explanation. A corpse of what appears to be an unfortunate adventurer is in my cellar, and there seems to be signs of sexual activity near him.

Best case scenario, I end up paying the girl significantly more money than I intended to, against my better judgement, almost as if I were possessed.

>> No.44005096

>Hire drow as babysitter
>Though a bit strict, especially to your son, she takes care of the kids and you come home to find them safe asleep
>Pay drow for the babysitting job
>Pay her a bit more for the dominatrix job before she drags you to your bedroom

>> No.44005521

Bump for drow!

>> No.44005937

> your son now loves being facesat
Like father like son I guess.

>> No.44005969

>Look at things other than her ass
Why? You're not making sense.

>> No.44005996

Now I got reminded about that super OP Drow Priestess of Lolth that had multiplets inside of her.

First time hearing about it was...weird.

>> No.44006057

>Look at things other than her ass


>> No.44006086

Spell resistence makes you glitter?

>> No.44006212

If I got home and my son was under that ass I'd be proud as fuck.

>> No.44006300

>A drow will never hypnotize you with her sparkly ass

>> No.44006307

Do drow asses get red if you spank them?

>> No.44006342

I'd imagine they turn dark purple if it's one of the blue drow

>> No.44006369

Gonna try that the next session a female drow is in.

>> No.44006445


Search "black spanking" and see how negroid asses react.

>> No.44006561

Why not just weave us this tale of this "negroe spanking" instead brother?

>> No.44006568

Do drow cheeks get red if you lick their ass?

>> No.44006633

Going straight for the truly important questions, I see.

>> No.44006695

You need a hug anon.
And a therapist, but mostly a hug.

>> No.44006752

I've seen dumber things in D&D, so sure, why not.

>> No.44007506

It's really not that simple. Most of their wizards are male.

>> No.44007690

Imagine you have the power to transcend time and space, to cow the most terrifying of otherworldly entities. Awesome and powerful, right? Cool. Now see that female over their who barely has the power to heal a scrapped knee? You have to bow to her.

>> No.44007754

That's kind of bullshit though. Drow of all stripes tend to be more powerful than the equivalent humans, and Drow matrons are often extremely powerful clerics.

>> No.44007866


Only one way to find out.

>> No.44007887


Speaking from firsthand experience, depends on how dark, but usually there's a slight change in shade of skin.

>> No.44007936

How does the she-negress respond to said spanking though?

>> No.44008008

Pretty sure low-ranked Priestesses do all of the education and therefore most of the raising in noble Lollth-dominated cities. I dunno about cities that have gods that aren't Llolth or how the common caste does it.

I imagine if you aren't a rothe farmer or something and have an OK pay check you'd get a slave to do most of the day to day nannying. Think more like a halfling then an orc.

Then again Drow can probably afford to be pretty liberal regarding their kids safety because they have levels of fertility much higher then the elf norm and 700ish year life spans while only becoming infertile in their last hundred years.

>> No.44008018

A. She's not a matron, just a priestess, and B. I was just making a point, man. Powerful or not, you GOD says women are better than you, so get with the program or be divinely stripped of all power and fed to spiders.

>> No.44008110


This girl in particular was really into it. Do not generalize that unless you want to deal with a sexual assault charge.

>> No.44008147

What can go wrong/right if you hire Jubilex, Demon Lord of spines and Oozes, the Faceless Lord, and the ruler of Undersump to babysit your kids?

>> No.44008606

lawful good dickings

>> No.44008609

I swear to Pelor is she goes off on another one of her crimesolving hijinks when she's supposed to be watching the kids......

>> No.44009029

drow thief 2? That's pretty good. Do you have anymore like it?

>> No.44009085

only cause its the holidays, I don't like you or anything anon, hmph!

>> No.44009172


>> No.44009198

Love you too, Anon! And thank you! Lots of thank you!

>> No.44009212

this Brent Spiner looking fucker

>> No.44009229

Your kids earn themselves a fetish for slime.

>> No.44009265

>I can't wait move to the surface
>I fucking hate femdom
>maybe I should worship a demon
>my feet hurt

>> No.44009267

cheers m8

>> No.44009309


>> No.44009357


>> No.44009400

>Wrong: The girl is now a hardcore radfem SCUM, the boy is lacking his genitalia.

>Right: The girl is more confident, the boy is more cunning and they are both more competitive and respectful

>> No.44009458


we-we're bakers though what need would the son and daughter have to become more cunning and confidant? I mean I suspect the yzhag'morks are withholding their best yeast molds for our competitors but still.....SWEETIE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MRS' YZHA'MORK'S HEAD?!

>> No.44009470


>> No.44009499

But that's a vampire.

>> No.44009565

sure okay

>> No.44009659


>> No.44009710

My character has about 8 children

All of whom are werewolves. Or Werepups I guess.

dis gonna be gud

>> No.44009856

That sounds beyond adorable.

>> No.44010282

Drow x Shota vore
It's not like Drow wouldn't do that, and it's no more fetishy than the other thing you posted

>> No.44010338


Ten years down the line, I come home to find out I'm the grandpa to a litter of half... fuck what do you call it when a half elf and a drow elf have kids together?

>> No.44010384

Drow x shota cuddling

>> No.44010406

What about worshiping Eilistraee?

They become nudists and manage to strike the balance between humans and the insanity of Elves without pissing off either group.

>> No.44010589

Vorish cuddling?
May do either, provided I can think of a half decent narrative, may also do something with facesitting as suggested up thread if I can think of a narrative that fits that
No promises though

>> No.44010726

>nude elves

>> No.44011132

Personally, I thought they were creepy femdom elves with a 'cg' descriptor rather than 'ce' descriptor

>> No.44011316

Nothing ever mentioned her or hers as matriarchal.

Just that they're nudists that try to get along with surface races and present themselves as an alternative for renegade Drow to being Drizzt clones.

In actuality, their beliefs line up with the Doukhobors. Which were like 1800's Russian hippies that moved to Canada with the support of the American Quakers because the Czar took none to kindly to their refusal to participate in organized religion and fight in wars or their preference for nudity and for paying taxes in furniture and fancy jam rather than currency.
They interbred with the Canadian Indians and continue to produce Christian chois music, jam, and furniture even today. They kind of dropped the nudism tho.


>> No.44011658

>I thought they were creepy femdom elves with a 'cg' descriptor rather than 'ce' descriptor
>Drow dominatrices with only slightly less murder
I'm fine with this

>> No.44011663


>> No.44011673

I mean, Eilistraee is awful. I like Drow because they're an entire race of underground backstabbing byzantine magic mutant cyborg sociopathic spider fetishists in the thrall of an evil goddess. Someone at some point apparently thought inventing a goddess who took all the neat, gameable things about Drow away from them was a really good idea. She's just a hippy, and not even an interesting weird fantasy hippy like that one druggie elf in House of Orr or those first generation superhumans in Zenith.

What are the maybe kinda interesting things about Eilistraee? Off the top of my head:
>The concept of dances which magically affect the emotions of people watching
>That general whole blade dancer thing (not exclusive to her but she's got it)
>The idea of becoming aware of threats/future events but only if a sufficient number of people are collected in one place
>The idea of a religious tax used to pay for musical instruments
>The idea of only being able to perceive your gods after experiencing tremendous sorrow/loss
>The concept of a good deity living in the realm of evil ones
>At a stretch, the idea of a deity who with a dislike any intrusion or structure into the earth
>The smidgen of an idea of warriors with metallic/silver hair who grow it long and armor themselves in it
>The inkling of an idea of a deity entirely based on Bruce Springsteen song titles

She's inoffensive so I don't want to say I hate her but I see very little mileage in Eilistraee as she's written. I'd much rather partner good, exile Drow with for example a goddess like Bralm:


Bralm makes a ton of sense for exile Drow. She's like a far softer, far kinder Lolth in many ways. And she's just fundamentally a bit weirder as a goddess and weird fantasy appeals to me a lot.

>> No.44011721

She's one of those deities who justify playing a character entirely untied to their racial archtype.

>> No.44011829

I suppose she exists specifically for just that purpose, yeah - I don't see that as enough merit to write her into anything though. If you want to play a drow untied to their racial archetype, pick any one of the much broader good gods who will also work for that.

Out of curiosity though, what are some other gods fitting into that description?

>> No.44011978

My current character is married to a female Bronze dragon so she would be wise to not let anything bad happen to our kids or face a mothers wrath.

>> No.44012037

>fuck what do you call it when a half elf and a drow elf have kids together?

>licking drow ass

I hope you like getting a mouthful of spiders.

>> No.44012112


>> No.44012125

>I hope you like getting a mouthful of spiders.
>Implying you have a choice when you're ordered to lick her ass

>> No.44012149


>Someone else here follows the Halfling Atsume guy.

Yes please validate me more.

>> No.44012195

AFAIR, it's not technically supported in fluff explicitly, but think about. When was the last time you saw a male priestess of Elistarae?
I figure it's just the kind of concession you need to give the drow so that any women would so much as consider it.

"Sure, she's good, doesn't support backstabbing, lives in harmony with the surfacers, on the surface... but at least women are still in charge. It isn't COMPLETELY crazy up there."

>> No.44012235

But how many spiders would fit up in there?

>> No.44012316

All of them

>> No.44012327

Theoretically as many as she could fit inside her entire digestive tract, I guess?
Quick, someone get the mathematicians!

>> No.44012490


Forget that, there's only one way to find out for sure. We need a volunteer test subject!

>> No.44012508

And spiders. Lots of spiders.
But what's a scientific standard spider?
A huntsman?

>> No.44012538

Guess who just volunteered.

bend over.

>> No.44012553

I wonder if it would be more or less than the number we can fit in a vagina.

Whatever spider we used to determine the vaginal capacity way back, use that one for consistency sake.

>> No.44012662

Oh hell no, I'm not being tricked into fulfilling your magic realms again!

A quick google search told me that your large intestine can hold anywhere from a quart to 2 gallons of water. 2 gallons (or 0.94-7.57L). Assume that your babysitter is on the lighter side of things, so 1.5L is appropriate. Assume that your average household spider is approximately 6mm across and 3mm tall, so their volume is 0.452cm^3. There's 1500 cubic centimeters in 1.5L, so the estimated max number of spiders up this drow's ass is 3315 (rounded down to the nearest whole number).

>> No.44012716

>has kids
>browses 4chan
pick one

>> No.44012720

Correct me if I'm wrong, but couldn't more spiders fit into one's small intestine and/or stomach as well, if we're trying to find the answer to this ridiculous shit anyways?

>> No.44012750

Yes and no. The issue is that they'd be less "spider" and more "Black mush covered in enzymes". There's also no way for said spiders to crawl out in any reasonable amount of time.

>> No.44012759

Rolled 10 (1d20)


>> No.44012798

I'll allow it.

>> No.44012886

Rolled 4 (1d20)


>> No.44012917

"Nah fuck this I'm gonna go make my own living with blackjacks and hookers"
And that is how 99% of Drow adventurers became adventurers.

>> No.44013095

Asking and answering the hard hitting questions.

>> No.44013360

Rolled 15 (1d20)

She pinned her ad on the cork board of my apartment's laundromat. I think she's only doing it as a summer job, but she looked responsible enough. Here's hoping for the best.

>> No.44013378

Elf who just wants you to do good?
The entire non-Drow pantheon.

>> No.44013398

When was any priest of Eilistraee described?

Considering she believes in her father's way, she's just the Drow nudist extension of Corellion Larethian.

>> No.44013428

>cute drow girl who thinks you're her slave but will still watch over your children
She sounds wonderful.

>> No.44013535

Are you clinically incapable of not making everything about your gator circlejerk?

>> No.44013600

she a sloot tho

>> No.44013616

So you get threesomes with the babysitter. I still don't see the problem.

>> No.44013677

I hate you, anon. Now I'm desperately searching for pictures of gyaru drow.

>> No.44013717

>Hire pair of slutty drow babysitters
>Good news, they'll gladly fuck you after the kids are asleep
>Bad/good news, you're their bitch while it happens
>Not sure how to feel about it news, they've already trained your son to be their subby shota fuckboi and your daughter to be a ballbusting loli dominatrix

>> No.44013741

> talking about dark elf butt
> nobody posted pic related yet
I can't believe this.

>> No.44013768

I feel like anyone who hires a pair of slutty drow babysitters would sort of expect all that and be happy about it.

>> No.44013866

nevar in your life

>> No.44013911

>You will never be forced to worship drow butt

>> No.44014048

I find it funny that even with a supposedly dominant female it's still about treating her like an object to use. Like, how many femdom works do you know that don't have the whole setup be about getting the male off? It almost always goes along the lines of "the lad sniffs the gal's butt and comes, the gal wipes it off and just maybe thinks of getting off on her own". There's a difference between this and intentional orgasm denial, but it's so thin I don't always see it.

> inb4 le sjw maymay
I don't hope for gators to be able to not make this about their favourite boogeymen.

>> No.44014098

what the hell is a gator?

>> No.44014116

No, you're right. It's a type of porn primarily manufactured for the enjoyment of males usually BY other males. I assume an actual femdom relationship IRL would be very different.

>> No.44014117

>I find it funny that even with a supposedly dominant female it's still about treating her like an object to use.
Well, I mean, there's only so much a kink can do to override biology.

>> No.44014140

gaymer gate

>> No.44014141

Why do you assume she'll be getting up before she's done ridding your face or making you bring her to orgasm via analingus?

>> No.44014156

I still don't know nor do I care about what that bullshit was about

>> No.44014165

but that's a rabbit

>> No.44014195

It's just that SM porn oriented at females does make roles matter, to the point when male-oriented SM just doesn't compare, it's almost always S male and M female no matter how the roles are supposed to be. I find this just sad.
> le biological determinism maymay
Such ridiculous generalisations are unfalsifiable at best and obvious lies at worst. Good job b8ing me for an answer, though.

>> No.44014220

Was Cthulhutech any good or was it all evil rape furries from planet X?

>> No.44014233

Most rebel drow dudes go full MRA and worship vaehrun (sp?) instead in order to rebel against the matriarchy, or full drizzt clone and worship some rando surface god.

>> No.44014292

fun if you cherry pick the crunch and fluff you like, homebrew it

>> No.44014304

But that's Soren from MtG, he's pallid as fuck, just in shadows.

>> No.44014336

>> inb4 le sjw maymay
>I don't hope for gators to be able to not make this about their favourite boogeymen.

Tumblr pls go.

>> No.44014365

>> No.44014381

Looks very man-faced to me. Guess it's the nose?

>> No.44014412

Writefag anon dead?

>> No.44014433

How does one have "about" 8 children?

Are we talking 7.5 kids rounded up?

Or is your character just a shit parent who didn't bother to count his litter?

>> No.44014440

Nah, just can't think of a narrative for vore or cuddles

>> No.44014462

Well, wouldn't the first one at least almost sort of write itself, with the Drow's dominatory, cruel tendencies?

I admit, cuddles are a smidge harder to justify in the context of drow.

>> No.44014470

The cuddle one is easy. A petty wizard curses the drow with a sneaky ice spell that lowers her body temperature enough to be uncomfortable, and the priestesses say "deal with it lol(th)" instead of healing her. She uses the shota as a source of body heat.

>> No.44014513

Or they keep their kids in dangerous situations to prune out the weak and let the clever and lucky rise to the top when they have a few. I mean, it's drow culture, they tend to really get behind things like that.

>> No.44014532

you don't really love the last one

>> No.44014568


>> No.44014595

What the hell did that post have to do with alligators?

>> No.44014610

Either read the thread or don't play dumb.

>> No.44014634

>"Ok little shits, me and your mom are heading out for dinner and then make you a new sibling"
>"Aunt Lythrana is coming over to watch you, so be on your best behavior"
>The 2 eldest boys (the only ones old enough to remember the last time this happened) wet themselves out of fear.
>The eldest sister begins to carve a hole in the wall for a dart trap and digs up those scrolls she nicked from mom & dad when they were playing that bizarre game with the saddle and riding crop.
>The youngest daughter runs to the bathroom and grabs as many hand mirrors as possible and a blindfold as to blind the living fuck out of her aunt with her dancing Lights daily.
>The baby sits calmly but starts crying once it realizes it's alone.

Sounds like a neat one-shot campaign.

>> No.44014659

Eh, was reading the thread through and replied without reading any posts afterwards, sorry.

>> No.44014681

Eh, I don't even finish reading posts before I answer to them.
> tfw can predict what will be written in the rest of a long post by the content of the first sentence or so

>> No.44014724

Well, how do you feel about ridiculous tier BDSM involving your skin and spider poisons, for starters? Or razorwire around your dick if you cum without their approval? Because that is likely where they start a fun night.

>> No.44014942

I thought being forced to worship the anal regions of a psychotic madwoman would tend to place the objectification on oneself?

>> No.44015086

I do believe that I explained myself in sufficient detail.

>> No.44015096

There are a couple in War of the Spider Queen.

And I think they do specify that they still are at least *kinda* matriarchal just out of lingering habit.

>> No.44015134

Please, fucking stop everything that you are doing. Go home, train more, thinking about what you've done until you've figured out your mistakes, and then come back with the humility to stay quiet until you've figured out how better men compose themselves.

>> No.44015148

This thread gave me an inspiration for my next character backgroung.

Half-elf male barbarian.

His mother is a drow matron captured by his father the warchief of a tribe that went on a revenge mission into the underdark because drow kept on kidnapping thir tribesmen.

The matron became the warchiefs "possesion" and fucktoy.

She didn't like it despite the great sex because of the ingrained idea of women being on top.

This only got worse when she gave birth to the warchiefs oldest two sons because she wanted daughters.

The PC (her son) then captured a drow matron of a rival house in another retaliation raid.

His mother was so proud when he made the other one his fucktoy and came to accept the position of the chiefs first wife in a patriarchal society.

>> No.44015157

So drow

Anything but black and grey are wrong and you should feel bad about.

>> No.44015177


>> No.44015209

Were you clutching your dick in your hand while you were writing that?

>> No.44015258

>Our party keeps repeatedly interacting with drow and is fraught with underdark shenanigans
>keep secretly hoping one of the drow matrons kidnap me and turn me into their pretty elf slave
The one time I am surrounded by depraved bisexuals and I can't get any.
Fooken bard gets to bone a werewolf but I can't be bound in webbing? Bah. I'm not even mad, just disappointed.

>> No.44015344


I suppose it would depend a great deal on the size of the drow and what species of spider we're talking about here. It could be anything from a common house spider to a goliath bird eater, however given the facts that grow, like all true elven species, are considered dainty, and that a common body type for the drider and most spiders associated with drow is very similar to spiders found in the theriididae family (the latrodectus genus more so than other members of that family), we can potentially rule out the bigger arachnids. The closest thing we have to a drow digestive tract would be a human one, and boy let me tell you is it stretchy. When you pair that with the fact that spiders from the genus latrodectus are considered to be incredibly small, usually around the size of a pea, we're starting to look at quite a sizable amount of arachnids here.

The closest thing I can offer you to an idea of what the amount would be can be found in pic related, which is about as much as we'll understand until some brave bastard with a breeding colony of spiders, a funnel, medical professionals on hand, and too much time, decides to get experimental.

>> No.44015349

maybe is you weren't such a faggot you'd be able to get your dick wet

>> No.44015378

ew, no
I'm talking about the purest form of love. the one between a dainty elf maiden and her drow dominatrix.

>> No.44015925

Outrageously correct!

>> No.44015928

well I guess it's ok, as long as the money is going to lessons

>> No.44015998

Shit, that reminds me.
I was hitching a ride with my stepmom the other day, and, well, she's from Kenya, and looks it.
Suddenly some fucker races through the intersection we're in, and she starts to gesture at him, but not only that, she then proceeds to gesture to the other drivers in the intersection.
And the first thing that came to my mind was "Of course a drow is fluent in handsigns."

>> No.44016012


>> No.44016029

ohhhh ok my bad, carry on then

>> No.44016139

You suck at reading.

>> No.44016149

Because that's not a dark elf, it's a tanned light elf. Also known as a brown elf.

>> No.44016236

More. You wouldn't be able to fit very many spiders in a vagina unless you surgically removed the cervix, and even then the womb normally has a pretty small volume. The colon is longer and has a much larger volume, so you could fit a lot more spiders there.

>> No.44016275

Rolled 8 (1d20)


>> No.44016477

Well I hope you don't have anything against your kids worshipping Lolth.

>> No.44016653

The chart is missing the entry where you have to go on a quest to rescue your children from the Womb of the Spider-Queen.

>> No.44016668

Emergency celestial C-section?

>> No.44016784


>> No.44016791

aww man I haven't read that comic in ages what was it called again.

>> No.44016810

>Foral arrangments and how to swindle adventurers.
does this swindiling itself involve flowers.

>> No.44016825

So Vala Mal Doran with blackface, pointy ears, and bleached hair?

>> No.44016835


>> No.44016839

why live

>> No.44016857

Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic

>> No.44016867

>The idea of becoming aware of threats/future events but only if a sufficient number of people are collected in one place
all d&d gods work like that

unless you mean you have to gather the people before the event not that there has to be people at the event.

>> No.44016875

> If you want to play a drow untied to their racial archetype, pick any one of the much broader good gods who will also work for that.
indeed all you need is pelor.

>> No.44016884


>> No.44016889

More likely than you think, anon.

I think the Drow'd get on well with my demonic child.

>> No.44016891

we never auctualy worked out the capactity mostly because we couldn't decide on standards

>> No.44016907

that's a good point the whole point of the vagina spiders was as an attack method they need to get out quickly

>> No.44016935


>> No.44016937

I have a pretty good idea what its about but still don't know which side the term gamergater refers to.

>> No.44016942

have them swim out on a wave of explosive diarrhea

>> No.44016944

>be the only Drow Male amongst a coven of Eilistraee worshipers

>when they aren't lezzing out, they thirsty as fuck for the dick

>official job is basically fucking all the CG dominatrix women

>I am ok with this

>> No.44016954

indeed habit is hard to break

>> No.44016984

/tg/ really loves working out how many of thing can fit in oricife

>> No.44016991

that's the one thanks

>> No.44017027

It's late and I ended up writing something for another thread, if this is still here in the morning I may write something for it

>> No.44017037


>> No.44017056

If it's not check the list of fics in my pastebin (from the link I posted up thread), I got an idea for the vore one and >>44015258, also half an idea for the cuddling one

>> No.44017079

I look forward to it

>> No.44017101

I really like that the archives are divided into story arcs

>> No.44017401

In so much as she swindles customers of her florist.
If she ran a florist also, sure.

>> No.44017403

Rolled 10 (1d20)


>> No.44017526

I'm pretty sure she did that or similar in her little jaunt to the Ori galaxy.

>> No.44017774

>> No.44017782

>> No.44017784

ma dick

>> No.44017804

>> No.44017809

>> No.44017814

>> No.44017820

>> No.44017832

That skeleton knows whats up.

>> No.44017893

Is the answer a boner?

>> No.44017906

Some of that changed during the Lady Penitent trilogy when the rest of the Drow pantheon started dying off.

>> No.44017980

What do female drow smell like?

>> No.44017992

>what can go wrong
>what can go right
Maybe my kids will lynch the drow or something.

>> No.44018022

Heh. Remembered that one.

>> No.44018028

That has pretty significant impact when you're considering what settlements will be like though. Like if a settlement of 1000 people benefits from divine prescience you are always going to want to try for settlements of that size or more.

>> No.44018047

Dude, 4chan is 12 years old at this point, the people who weren't underage then are getting close to 30.

>> No.44018208

Fuck off Carlos.

>> No.44018229

Rolled 14 (1d20)


>> No.44018252

>my kids are such little devils!
keep these kind of comments on facebook please, nobody gives a fuck about how badly your little abominations smell of shit. its not cute, only annoying

>> No.44018277

> Implying it's about real life kids.

>> No.44018299

sorry, can't tell the difference at a glance

>> No.44018318

Memo to myself: Next time need to be precise to anons about stuff.

Well, not your fault. Could've been more precise.

>> No.44018443

"Dark elf" is the only thing they are ever called in Nip. Just because you're used to dark elves being purple doesn't mean they can't look any different.

>> No.44018484

Nope. That definitely isn't a japanese expression.

>> No.44018546

「ダークエルフ」 isn't a Japanese expression? Something tells me you are full of shit.

>> No.44018575

No, I'm talking about "dark elf" :^)

>> No.44018592

I give to you Shitposter of the Day award. Be proud.

>> No.44019749

been there done that
minus the spider poison maybe, but we thought about using poison oak once
pussied out though

>> No.44019817

Fuck off back to /d/, you WST scum

>> No.44019849


The irony is htat ass spiders would work better, you can more violently expel them when needed and you can run away without stopping and still launch a spider-fart at your enemies. Though you'd still need some sort of "spider-sabot" to ensure you can get them all out at once.

also would justify drow wandering around in assless chaps.

>> No.44020573


>> No.44020645

What do spiders smell like?

>> No.44020666

Female drow.

>> No.44020738

Those don't exist, but spiders do. Obviously spiders have to smell like something that exists.

>> No.44020770

Rolled 7 (1d20)

what could go right?

>> No.44021019

>thinks drow don't exist


>> No.44021109

Your waifu doesn't actually exist, anon.

>> No.44022693 [DELETED] 


>> No.44022919

Poor deluded you, believing anyone left...

>> No.44022952

Clearly not, given how dead those threads are

>> No.44023461


>> No.44023777


>> No.44025348

Would you say Truly, Truly Outrageous?

>> No.44025352

I don't get it

>> No.44025457

Vagina Dentata

>> No.44025574 [DELETED] 

Guess you live in an Anime now.

>> No.44025612

Guess you live in an Anime now.

>> No.44026838

Yes, everyone knows that He-Negress's are objectively superior.

>> No.44027549


>> No.44027970

What a wonderful phrase

>> No.44028534

>He thinks the only people out here are underages in hiding

>> No.44029667

lets do this.

>> No.44029900

>/tg/ is the board dedicated to RPG and wargaming oldfags
>none of these oldfags has managed to reproduce

>> No.44030532

Rolling polling

>> No.44030832

Do you guys not know how to dice roll?

>> No.44030901

What would it be like giving her a *ahem*, tip?

>> No.44031316

Rolled 10 (1d20)


>> No.44031498


>> No.44033075

Depends. How do you feel about spiders getting funneled into your urethra? They probably try that one now and then.

>> No.44033244

Speaking as someone who was here when /tg/ was founded, we would all make terrible parents and the world is better off if we do not reproduce

>> No.44033488



>> No.44033958

Dubs don't lie

>> No.44035560

Anything works, anon. Drow x shota's hot as fuck.

>> No.44035787

>posts stale, blatant /pol/ meme
>acts like everyone else is tumblr
I see you must be /new/

>> No.44035932

>No longer in the mood to write, forcing myself but it's like pulling teeth
Going with the vore one, cause both times that guy responded first
May do the other ones later

>Drow priestess sitting down for dinner
>A rare delicacy was captured by the slavers, and of course she'll be the one to enjoy it, just as she deserves
>A pair of you male drow eye candy bring her meal in
>Tied up on a silver platter in spidersilk is the young elf prince the raiders managed to catch
>She eyes the naked shota prince up as she dismisses her servants
>Licking her lips she pulls the prince up to her, drinking in his nervousness and fear at her touch she embraces him, pulling him into a deep and forceful kiss, his first and last one as she samples his flavor
>Confusion and arousal fills the shota as he tries to understand what's going on
>As she works a bit of magic on herself it quickly turns to horror when her jaw begins to pop out of place and engulph his head
>Whimpering, the prince vainly struggles in his bonds as the priestess slowly swallows him, taking her time as her tongue runs across his tear stained face before pulling him into her hot, slick, and eager throat
>Lifting him up over her, she lets gravity and his weight aid her as, gulp by gulp, she pulls more of him in
>Slowly but surely he disappears down her throat, the priestess pausing only when she reaches his crotch, she begins running her tongue along his dick
>Bringing one hand down between her legs she thoroughly enjoys his moans as she taunts and teases him with her slick throat and skillful tongue before swallowing once more when she tastes the newest addition to his flavor
>With a final gulp she seals him in and her strong, fit stomach before it begins squeezing and kneading him within her dark, hot, and suffocating depths
>Lying back, the priestess rubs her taught belly, smiling as she calls in one of her daughters to help her finish enjoying the prince's struggles

>> No.44035943

And pastebin link

>> No.44035947

The fuck is with /tg/ and vore
I'm not even mad, I'm just confused.

>> No.44035955

As a similarly oldfag, I'm just gonna say you don't know how you'll go as a parent until you are one; don't sell yourself short.

>also, checked.

>> No.44036001

I've fapped to some shit man, but vore is just to strange to me... You are being consumed by something, that isn't erotic, you are going to die.

Don't understand scat either, people have their kinks... but thats.. literally shit.

>> No.44036091

I think I remember reading once that there is a strong correlation between enjoying roleplaying and having sexual fetishes that are impossible for real life

Vore tends to be the product of several related kinks, with different people focusing on the aspects they like and ignoring the parts they don't
It's how you can get weird shit like nonfatal vore or consensual vore

>> No.44036878

Rolled 11 (1d20)


>> No.44037024

urg why do you pedos have to ruin everything

>> No.44037056

>he doesn't like shota princes
>he doesent like having his daughter share a shota prince

>> No.44037095

Then the Priestesses' belly grew all of a sudden to ginormous proportions until it was torn apart. The prince forgot due to the shock that he still could cast his magic. He had a rare talent for shapeshifting, so he changed into the last thing he remembered when he came here...and that was a Umber Hulk.

The Priestess looked at the prince, now a giant insectoid brute, in sheer terror as she could feel his rage. The prince then smashed her with his chitinous fists and then grabbed her daughters and "clapped with his hands" as they were turned into wet paste in them.

Now he would exact his wrath on the Drows that captured him and return to his people.

Here, I made you a good ending. Don't do stupid vore here anymore.

>> No.44037204


>> No.44037216


>> No.44037701

you know /tg/ is /d/ lite right

>> No.44037729

Well, it was about five years ago.

>> No.44037732


>> No.44038010

still is

>> No.44038035

C H A D - Z A K

>> No.44038831

It was a request

Plus /ss/ is best

Wow you are mad
>Implying a paranoid drow wouldn't have defenses in place to keep her food from killing her probably something along the lines of having him dosed with poison that prevents magic but has no effect when eaten
>Implying the prince wouldn't use said magic while he was being captured to defend himself
>Implying the drow couldn't take on an umber hulk
>Implying vore magic wouldn't mean transforming himself like that would just make him a more filling meal

Come home to find that your shota son had been forced to make her pregnant or come home to find that she shoved them up there and is now pregnant with them?

>> No.44039261

That is...very awkward and stilted prose.

I can see why you stick to fetish work where you'll get praise no matter the quality.

>> No.44039464

Fetish writer here, I didn't write that bit, it was the guy who's ass mad about vore

I wrote >>44035932 and >>44005014

>> No.44039480

In his defence, vore makes absolutely no fucking sense.

>> No.44039627

I can see it as a dominance, encasement, becoming one with another, and/or several othe fetishes
It's odd but there is some logic there and it's no more odd than other games of pretend

>> No.44039664 [DELETED] 

This can only end well

>> No.44039681


>> No.44039696

Rolled 14 (1d20)

This can only end well

>> No.44039704

Rolled 4 (1d20)

It's more the "welp I'm dead now I guess" thing that confuses me.

You guys need to actually roll, mang.

>> No.44039708

Greentext is even more pathetic and stilted. At least that fag had the decency to attempt prose instead of creating what's essentially a fetish grocery list as read by a caveman.

>> No.44039724

Keep telling yourself that!

>> No.44039726

You've got a hot babysitter to nail. Win.

>> No.44039813

Most vorefags I've noticed tend to ignore that part, only implying it happens with the focus being on the eating or being in the belly. When there is focus on digestion it's usually not graphic or displayed as very painful and tends to be about the predator not the prey

Meh, not the best I've done I'll admit, was forcing myself to finish it and that never turns out good

>> No.44039843

>wst threads on /d/
>not dead as fuck

>> No.44039856

>I just wasn't trying!
Of course you weren't. It's fucking greentext. There's no such thing as a good or well-constructed greentext story.

>> No.44039908

We are sorry our dark elf shota vore domination fetishbait is not up to your standards.

>> No.44039952

You guys are all retarded

Drow are ELVES with access to MAGIC.

She'd have INFINITE amounts of spiders up her ass!

>> No.44039963

No, I was trying, just couldn't get it to flow how I'd like so I just left it as it was

>> No.44040028

If you don't want to be judged for your shit tastes and poor quality of writing, then take your faggy /d/ shit to /d/
That's cute.

>> No.44040065

Rolled 13 (1d20)


Rolling rolls

>> No.44040077

Anon, I am not into shota, vore, domination or fetishbait and I think it was okay at worst.

But like I said, I dislike fetishbait when the sole purpose of the thread is to accommodate it, so I still disapprove.

>> No.44040170

>I have lower than dirt standards so you should too
Fuck that shit nigga. If you're gonna waste our time with shitspamming your shitty fetish scribblings in a ploy to get praise from strangers on the internet because you're a detestable attention whore, it better at least be an honest fucking attempt instead of some shitty half-assed greentext that I could've shat out while drunk and typing with a stylus clinched between my asscheeks.

Seriously, you faggots who shoe up in random threads and go "teehee~, I'm SUCH a good writer and if you suck my e-peen I MIGHT just grace you with a mastercrafted fetish masterpiece~" are un-fucking-forgivable. Try a site like tumble if you want a low effort circlejerk centered around your (lack of) talent.

>> No.44040190

Doesn't stop me from being a assman.

>> No.44040195


I go over her house and complain to her parents about the theft and the treatment of my kids

After I get My stuff back and a apology I take their stuff and their daughter for wasting my time

Dark Elf Slave Wat Do?

>> No.44040211 [DELETED] 



>> No.44040429

You dumb bastard. Just kill yourself before you reproduce and spread more of your shit tier genes across the world.

>> No.44040630

No matter how much you sperg, /tg/ will not change for you

>> No.44040654

Again, that anon's not the writer, I am

I think he was agreeing with you that I should not post here

I will continue to ignore you both

>> No.44040664

Probably get webbed to the ceiling with everything looted again, including your kids, and several poisons pumped into you.

>> No.44040857

I think it's fine for you to post here. This thread is the problem; it had very little content and was created solely to provoke smut (or "aww so cute :3333") related subject matter. This is on the level of those loli threads that one retard spammed.

>I shall ignore you both
And that's fucking retarded. Disagree with; fine. Ignore; cowardly and narrow-minded.

>> No.44040966

>And that's fucking retarded. Disagree with; fine. Ignore; cowardly and narrow-minded.
Point, more to the other guy cause his reasoning seems to not go further that stop liking what I don't like, and I was trying to further provoke him. But you seem reasonable and that was immature of me, sorry

>> No.44041653

>lol jk I was just pretending to be retarded

>> No.44041714

No, I fully admitted I was being foolish there, no pretending just too little thought put into my reaction

Says something that even when someone admits they've made a mistake you feel the need to get the last word

>> No.44042013

That's not me, mang.

>> No.44042080

I was referring to the post I quoted

>> No.44042634

Yeah, I've noticed it being a recurring thing, sometimes in very odd contexts (like, I'm not exactly suprised somebody would write vore about dragons or other things that are known to eat people, but then you also have stuff like vore-succubi, vorelolis and now vore-drow)

I don't think most people into vore don't self-insert themselves as the person being eaten. Although as >>44036091 pointed out vore really isn't one fetish but a bunch of different ones that share common elements. Like, I'm not really into vore but it does share some elements with stuff that I actually am into, so I end up occasionally browsing a vore thread on /d/ or something, along with stuff I'm actually into.

>> No.44043395

Yes, yes, keep telling yourself you've won and gotten rid of all the nasty lewdposters.

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