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[ERROR] No.43839022 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Imagine you are a child.

By some insanely bizarre twist of fate (probably Tzeentch's because he is capable of pulling off stuff like that), your parent is an Imperial Temple Assassin.

How screwed up is your childhood?

>> No.43839040

>>43839022
If that means i get to inherit those head crusher thighs, i'd be A-Okay with it.

>> No.43839044

>>43839022
Apart of mom/dad never being home due to doing missions for the High Lords of Terra?

High probability that they'll die and that they'd see me more of a burden because everything with Temple Assassins is MISSION or HIGH LORDS. And TARGET.

>> No.43839073

>>43839022
The question is can a Assassin bang a person or be banged?

I know that in some BL books they can be, but let's get serious that's BL and BL is always questionable if not utterly ignored.

>> No.43839085

Straight to the Schola Progenium. Harsh childhood, but damn near guaranteed to end up in a prestigious position.

>> No.43839126

>>43839073
The social infiltrators (I forget the name) probably can, in pursuit of their operations. However, considering the sheer amount of conditioning they go through, they probably don't enjoy it and keep their normal situational awareness during and after any such acts.

>> No.43839164

>>43839085
> Assassin parent manages to find time between missions for his progeny.
> Application of tough love in progress because the galaxy is brutal, unforgiving and will kill you in the most horrifyingly painful way. Cue murderous training from hell. One could say that's the closest thing an Assassin would have for feelings for his kid.
> It is this time when the parent sends off his kid to the Schola.
> Drill Abbots are actually pleased since one of their students is one hell of an athlete and has uncommon skills at fighting.
> Can't decide where to go since every single branch would want him badly.

>> No.43839180

>>43839126
Yep. Just because yer a Callidus Assassin and be closest to being socialized doesn't mean it's easy in certain situations.

>> No.43839183

Depends on what part of the assassanorium they are.

Imagine living as the child of an eversor.

>> No.43839204

>>43839022
>Never see parent
>Blame Imperium
>Become BBEG
>Scourge a hundred worlds type shit
>Imperial Assassin gets sent after me
>Not parent
>Die

>> No.43839206

>>43839183
Lots of violence indeed...that is if the kid survives the experience of having a monster of an assassin as your father.

On the other hand people wouldn't think at first about that the Eversor has a kid, but how he conceived it.

>> No.43839208

One thing I have never understood about 40k is how children are handled. Basically all my knowledge of the setting comes from reading stuff on /tg/ and occasionally reading various wikis so how exactly do humans in 40k reproduce?

Government sanctioned mass-breeding? Test-tube babies? Normally? It seems like the majority of males would be drafted into the military and I have little to no idea what the women do most of the time.

>> No.43839247

>>43839204
That would be actually sad. As in all this time you were mocking the High Lords and burning Imperial planets in order to get them to send an assassin after you because you secretly hoped that one of them would be your mother/father...

>>43839208
Depends on the planet.

In case of Krieg it would be all the things all together or those rumored Vitae Wombs.

>> No.43839348

I'd see assassins having a kid as either a reward for many years of faultless service or as a punishment for a minor screw-up that even a novice wouldn't allow himself to do.

In case of an Callidus Assassin it would be like this if the operative banged someone to get the mission done, but screw up in one small detail and her punishment would be to live up a normal life as a single mother.

No missions. No killing. Only bringing up the bastard child of one of the people you had to shag in order to get the job done...or even the target itself.

>> No.43839399

>>43839208
they do it the normal way
they're raised depending on the technology and how wealthy the average people are on the planet

>> No.43839412

>>43839348
As a reward?

Maybe to grant them the possibility of producing a competent servant of the Emperor for that would be logical.

>> No.43839581

>>43839022

Turns out your dad is a Callidus.

A female Callidus.

>> No.43839605

>>43839581
Heh. Talk about surprise.

>> No.43839658

According to the HH novel, most of the assassins are actually pretty well adjusted.

The poison chick and the nerd computer tech were both pretty normal. The sniper was kinda edgy, but otherwise pretty normal. The Blank was kinda emo loner, but she wasn't some mindless drone either.

Even the crazy druggie was capable of reasoning and chatting when he's down killing things.

>> No.43839741

>>43839581

Calliduses can't produce male jizz.

>> No.43839742

>>43839658
Really? That's surprising.

Especially the Eversor.

>> No.43839774

>>43839206
also literally no one is going to bully you after they find out.

>> No.43839784

>>43839742
I was under the impression that the Eversor only went crazy went he actually went on missions.

They just pump him full of drugs and let him loose

>> No.43839787

>>43839022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiKj0Z_Xnjc
Pretty fucked.

>> No.43839866

>>43839208

The majority of humanity are civilians working in manufactorums and living on hive worlds. The imperial guard is just a small part of humanity, though being a military age male means you'll probably get drafted into the PDF if the planet gets attacked.

From what I understand loads of people get tested for what kind of functions they could perform. Some go to the schola, others get absorbed into the mechanicus, recruited by inquisitors and other organisations but most will grind away their lives in service of the imperial production machine.

When you have uncountable trillions of people available, it tends to be quite easy to find people who can perform specific tasks.

>> No.43839874

>>43839658

That was the HH though, who knows how much they've changed in the 10K years until the "present" era?

>> No.43839892

>>43839774
> My dad is a high ranking member of the Imperial Guard. - said the boy with the scruffy looking hair.
> My dad is a respected noble. - said the boy with the nice cloths.
> My dad is the very Governor of this here planet. - said the girl with bizarre hair.

Comes a much younger boy in simple robes and a plushie Blood Angels Terminator.

> Oh look it's that kid that is silent. - said the boy in nice clothes.

The three visibly taller kids surround the boy with the plushie Terminator.

> What are ya gonna do now new kid? - asked the boy with the scruffy hair - Give us your plushie.

> No. - responded the little boy.
> Or what? - asked the girl - You'll call your dad?

At this instant the little boy pulled out of the plushie a datapad with a recording.

> My dad is this kind of person. - replied the little boy as he showed them the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pywjdJ7P-7o

All three kids ran away screaming.

>>43839787
Still who knows...maybe it wouldn't be THIS bad.

>> No.43839896

>>43839164
They have tests to work out which branch will have you.
A male student with great phyisical fitness is likely Stormtrooper, Commisar or IG material. I also believe one particular Chapter recruits from the Schola, but I'm not sure.

>> No.43840177

>>43839896
Minotaur's

>> No.43840378

Operative Ceres came back to her quarters close to midnight. As an operative of the Callidus Temple, she undertook over a hundred missions and managed to complete them perfectly...that is until the last one was an almost perfect one.

During that time she was supposed to assume the identity of the young wife of a Planetary Governor that was painted for termination for lowered production and the fact that the tithe he paid to the Administratum was lower than nominal.

After months of careful studying the Governor's wife, she slew her and assumed her identity. After another several months of interaction with the Governor, she finally slew him in the couple's chamber while being "very" close to him. With the governor slewn, she escaped the Governor's Palace undetected. A perfect kill, a perfectly done mission in the name of the Emperor...that is until she found out three months later about something her target left her with.

When the Grand Master of her Assassin Temple heard of her blunder, she not only had something that was closest to laughter, but she also ridiculed Ceres for that. As punishment, she'd have to live with this for some time. No removal, no actually serious punishment, but this.

It was already five years and six months after this. Another mission and another target killed, though she'd never again come this close. Now apart of dealing with writing a report to her Grand Master, she'd need to plan for tomorrow. But for now she'd need to relax and cleanse her mind. Eliminating a corrupt Ecclesiarchy Bishop wasn't easy even for somebody like her. Lying on the bed in her room, she hear the doors to the one next to hers open...

>> No.43840538

>>43840378
go on.

>> No.43840605

>>43840378

>It's take your daughter to work day

>> No.43840877

>>43839022
I dunno. Would an imperial assassin disown me and say I'm possessed by the devil for being trans?

If not, then considerably better and I welcome and love my new imperial assassin mommy.

>> No.43841167

>>43840378
> Mommy?

A silent yet innocently sounding voice came from the doors that opened slightly. A little boy came in. Five years old, wearing a simple pajama with short sleeves and cuddling in one hand a Space Marine plushie.

> Yes sweetie?
> You were out again. - replied the boy
> Mommy had to work a little longer Raphael.

Ceres's mask retracted as she replied to the boy she called Raphael. Her face was sharp and beautiful, yet most would've mistaken her for someone in her twenties. In fact she was slowly entering her forties.

When she said that, someone appeared behind the boy.

> Mommy returned?
A girl it was who asked the boy. Equally tall as Raphael and identical when it came to the face. Twins the two were, and just like her brother, her voice was also innocent.
> Yeah Rebecca. - replied Raphael.
> We made a cake for mommy, but a big man with a hoodie ate most of it.

And by big man with a hoodie, Rebecca probably meant Ceres's Inquisitor visited her. Garantius was known for being as gluttonous as he was zealous in hunting heretics. He helped Ceres out with looking after the children while she was on her missions.

> That's nice of you. I'll taste it tomorrow with some recaf. - Ceres replied with a small ounce of fatigue in her voice. Escaping an entire coven of Sororitas was both irritating and tiresome for her, and luckily the place where her quarters were belonged to the Inquisition, thus the place wouldn't be purged - Why aren't you two sleeping at this hour by the way? You know the two of you have excercises.
> We were waiting for you. - replied Rebecca.
> Heh. That's nice of you two, but you really can't do this. Tomorrow we have a busy day and you'll need to train.
> Why? - asked Raphael - I can move on a iron pipe while standing on my arms,
> It takes more that this Raphael. - Ceres answered him - Life in the Imperium is all but easy. I don't want you two to end up in a dire situation. Now go to sleep. It's already past midnight.

>> No.43841354

>Vindicare tracking high value target in a Hive city.
>Gets a clear sight of the target
>Suddenly remembers his daughter's bullying problem.
>Realigns the shot and fires.
>Bullet goes cleanly through target's head, then ricochetes off a corner.
>Bullet denotates on a lightpost, making it fall on a nearby water pipeline.
>Pressure builds up in the pipeline and causes a jet of water to shoot out of a nearly repaired leak.
>The water jet hits the bullies in the face just as they turn around a corner.
>Vindicare smiles as he calls in mission complete on the vox.

>> No.43841704 [DELETED] 

>>43841167
As Ceres closed her eyes, Rebecca said one more thing.

> Mommy?
> Yes Rebecca?
> Can we sleep with you?

That was a question she heard a couple of times in her life. The kids sometimes did crawl up into her bed in the middle of the night. She never knew what Raphael and Rebecca saw in her that they wanted to sleep with her.

> Ye...yes. - replied the Callidus and in a moment, the two children crawled up and hugged into the Ceres.
> Good night mommy. - said Raphael.
> We love you. - added Rebecca.

In this moment, the children fell asleep while clinging into her synthskin.

Temple Assassins are said to be cold blooded killers that would do everything to accomplish their mission. Ceres was one of these. All this time since she gave birth, she at first pretended that it was all a perfect family. Yet when time passed, something changed in her. The play slowly eroded and turned real. Feelings that were false turned real, and her perception of the children changed. They may be the bastards of that good for nothing Governor she slew...but they were hers too. And they were good kids. She never knew her true parents. The temple was her only family. Yet it didn't give her something these two did...and that was warmth. Yet the Callidus realized a long time ago that the galaxy, along with the Imperium, do not tolerate any weakness and death could be just right the corner. Ceres put her hands on the two and pulled them closer...a small teardrop running down her cheek. She killed for the Imperium without fear for her own safety. Now however she did fear since she came to realize her true feelings. Fear of what would happen with Rebecca and Raphael after her death. Until the two would become self-sufficient, she'd train them. Educate them. And more importantly...live until then.

> I was a weapon. - she thought - And now the weapon became human. It hurts to be tuly human.

End.

>> No.43841734

>>43839741
at best it would be a male callidus who just spends all their time looking like the one in the OP

>> No.43841738

>>43841167
As Ceres closed her eyes, Rebecca said one more thing.

> Mommy?
> Yes Rebecca?
> Can we sleep with you?

That was a question she heard a couple of times in her life. The kids sometimes did crawl up into her bed in the middle of the night. She never knew what Raphael and Rebecca saw in her that they wanted to sleep with her.

> Ye...yes. - replied the Callidus and in a moment, the two children crawled up and hugged into the Ceres.
> Good night mommy. - said Raphael.
> We love you. - added Rebecca.

In this moment, the children fell asleep while clinging into her synthskin.

Temple Assassins are said to be cold blooded killers that would do everything to accomplish their mission. Ceres was one of these. All this time since she gave birth, she at first pretended that it was all a perfect family. Yet when time passed, something changed in her. The play slowly eroded and turned real. Feelings that were false turned real, and her perception of the children changed. They may be the bastards of that good for nothing Governor she slew...but they were hers too. And they were good kids. She never knew her true parents. The temple was her only family. Yet it didn't give her something these two did...and that was warmth. Yet the Callidus realized a long time ago that the galaxy, along with the Imperium, do not tolerate any weakness and death could be just right around the corner. Ceres put her hands on the two and pulled them closer...a small teardrop running down her cheek. She killed for the Imperium without fear for her own safety. Now however she did fear since she came to realize her true feelings. Fear of what would happen with Rebecca and Raphael after her death. Until the two would become self-sufficient, she'd train them. Educate them. And more importantly...live until then.

> I was a weapon. - she thought - And now the weapon became human. It hurts to be truly human.

End.

>> No.43841749

>>43841734
Yeah, but male ones are a rarity...like undamaged STC.

>> No.43841833

>>43841734

i'm sure a thorough enough callidus could inject her polymorphiine dick with some appropriated sperm for realism

>> No.43841839

>>43841738
I didn't know I needed this, till I read this.

>> No.43841844

>>43840378
>>43841167
>>43841738
Darn. That's some feels and heartwarming.

>> No.43841987

>>43841833
Yep. They even once upgraded one Callidus with bionics to make her shapeshift into a Genestealer for realism.

>> No.43842106

>>43841839
>>43841844
Proof that even in the grimdarkness of the 41st millennium, even an assassin can have a heart.

>> No.43842116

>Literally anywhere anytime in 40k
>How screwed up is X

The answer is always "Very."

>> No.43842547

>>43842116
There are a few lucky souls that can live to retirement.

>> No.43842762

>>43839892
>>43841167
> Space Marine plushies

>> No.43842887

>>43842547
I wouldn't consider living in the 40k universe a good outcome

>> No.43842912

They're never there, but at least you always win the "my dad could beat up your dad" arguement every single time.

>> No.43842941

>>43842887
Well it's also not a good place to raise kids.

Then again it depends on where one is born.

You may be born on Catachan, Cadia, Krieg or Necromunda...or on any of the planets of Ultramar or on Terra (or any of the few places where there is decent life support).

>>43842912
Can't argue with that.

>> No.43842974

wouldn't any kid born to an assassin be tremendously fucked up due to all the mutegens and chemicals they take during their training and standard operation?

Like, just imagine how twitchy the kid with an eversor for a mother's gonna be

>> No.43843003

>>43842974
Actually I don't think they'd be this screwed up.

Actually I think most of them wouldn't have kids due to infertility...but who knows?

>> No.43843242

>>43841354
I need more Vindicare, Assassin-Daddy, stories. And I need them now.

>> No.43843319

>>43841738
>>43841167
>>43840378

Now do one where the kid is the callidus.

>> No.43843623

>>43843319
Sadly I don't have anything on my mind...

>> No.43843768

>>43839784
>I was under the impression that the Eversor only went crazy went he actually went on mission
i II thought they kept them in stasis when they weren't on missions

>> No.43843801

>>43843768
Cryostasis actually.

Before a mission they drug them to hell and back.

>> No.43843817

>>43840378
>>43841167
>>43841738
Wondering how a drawfag would do it in comic version...

>> No.43843860

>>43843817

Probably grimderp like that one Callidus romance comic.

>> No.43843882

>>43843860
There was one with romancing a Callidus?

>> No.43843913

>>43843882
Yep.

He nurses her back to health after a botched job and they briefly live together.

Then she kills him and burns his home to the ground to cover her tracks.

>> No.43843926

>>43839658
So 10k years earlier

>> No.43843941

>>43843913
Darn. That's grimderp.

She should've instead shapeshifted into someone instead.

>> No.43843966

>>43843941

She was. He never knew she was a Callidus. But she had to make sure cuz 40k!

>> No.43844009

>>43843966
I knew grimderp is derp. But this is overderp.

>> No.43844038

How does it feel for a child to be born to a Culexus Assassin? Or a pariah in general.
Just imagine that from the second your cell heap is formed everything around you is crushing and drowning your soul.
And if you somehow survive those hellish 9 month you are pushed out and even if you are dumped on a cold steel floor and some rusty servitor picks you up with sharp uncaring hands, this is still so much better compared to being inside your mothers womb.
I can't even imagine what kind of imprint that leaves on a child. It is like the exact opposite of what being born feels like.

>> No.43844080

>>43839022
Can Callidus assassins impregnate other females if they disguise themselves as males, cause if I found out that my dad was actually my second mom I would probably end up joining chaos

>> No.43844100

>>43844038
Yeah. That would be a hellish experience for someone whose mother is a Culexus.

On the other hand one would need to ask about the father. He must be ridiculously badass to bang one. Or ridiculously insane...or both.

>>43844080
Nope...unless the jizz is man made in a Biologis laboratory and the dick is biomechanical.

>> No.43844194

>>43844100
>Nope...unless the jizz is man made in a Biologis laboratory and the dick is biomechanical.

Reminds me of the colossalfaggot comic with Macha and the "emperor"

>> No.43844206

>>43844194
Hmmmmm. I may know which comic this is.

>> No.43844300

>>43844038
So the random mutation of a Blank is super rare, but in the extreme case of a Blank reproducing wouldn't she pass on the gene?

>> No.43844487

>>43844300
I remembered one of the last books where Eisenhorn appears, the MC who is Bequin's kid was born naturally as a Untouchable and inheriting her mother's Pariah gene.

>> No.43844898

>>43839126

There's no indication Meh'lindi didn't enjoy it though it wasn't part of her mission.

>> No.43845034

>>43841833
Polymorphine works on a cellular level. Inconsistently, according to authorial whims.
She could probably form actual, functioning testicles.

>> No.43845137

Probably.
How Polymorphine works is up to whoever is writing at the time.
Sometimes they can't even make themselves eldar ears and need fake ones to stick on, other times they achive full body-horror like turning into serpents.
Polymorphine is literally poetic licence, the chemical.

>> No.43845183

>>43845137
That is meant to link to
>>43844080

>> No.43845459

>>43839658
The Evesor was normal because he ran out of drugs, was active for many many days longer than he was supposed to be, glutted himself on slaughter by killing an entire facility, got hit by enough tranq and voltage to knock out several elephants and the technology back then was more refined.

>> No.43845783

>>43839658
As someone else mentioned. That is the HH, when even the Assassinorium were new and in some way "innocent". Assassinations, and assassins, were still considered underhanded tactics beneath the Imperium's ideals and can only be sanctioned in extremis. The assassins themselves I supposed are just as well trained and equipped as the "present day" counterparts, if not even more so, but they are not indoctrinated the same way. They are more sophisticated and intelligent and less mindlessly dogmatic, I think. The Eversor isn't well adjusted or anything. He was simply intelligent enough to be able to cooperate, and know friends or foe, that was about it.

But in the "present day" then it would be unthinkable to expect an Eversor to reason and talk with anyone, even fellow assassins on a mission.

>> No.43846001

>>43845783
>simply intelligent enough
Even a 40k Eversor is intelligent, the word you want is lucid.

>> No.43846060

>>43846001
Thanks. That's really apt.

>> No.43846146

>>43840877
Begone, servant of Slaanesh!

>> No.43846664

>>43845783
"Current" eversors are never lucid or reasonable. Some are never even "on down time", but rather are permanently insane and drugged, and simply kept in stasis. Like a bomb.

One short story had a group of mechanicus transporting this mysterious pod for ages, and only the senior Magus knew what was in it, and just told everyone else, "if you activate this, everyone dies." So all the enginseers and such just assume it is a bomb. Until one day they wake up a necron tomb and all start getting wiped out, so this young enginseer activates the "bomb" as a failsafe, but instead it releases an eversor. Who kills the remaining mechanicus horribly before the story fading to black before the eversor goes after the necrons.

>> No.43846849

>>43845783
I imagine eversors now are still semi-cooperative, otherwise execution forces would be obnoxious as all hell to work in.

>> No.43848226

>>43846849

There are probably no longer any mission team of assassins after the Heresy. That story where 5 of them came together to assassinate Horus was an unprecedented feat of collaboration of the clades, possible only because Constantine Freaking Valdor explained to the clade masters the fine difference between assassins and soldiers.

>> No.43848262

>>43848226
>There are probably no longer any mission team of assassins after the Heresy.
execution forces have existed since long before Nemesis

fuck, they JUST made the plastic assassins and featured them in a team-based mission

>> No.43849211

>Vanus and Venenum minis when?

>> No.43849382

>>43846664
how well would it do against necrons?

>> No.43849530

>>43844038

I have this weird idea that they'd somehow need to be a psyker. In 40K psychic power seems to correlate with your pretense in the warp. A normal baby's soul would just get snuffed out. You need a soul that's extraordinary strong, or a pariah to endure gestation.

>> No.43849600

>>43839208
Almost exclusively through traditional insemination for the majority of people. Artificial methods are seen as Mechanicus Secrets with the potential to be abused for Heresy so it only happens with authorization from a higher authority in cases of extreme need (ie, Kriegers.)

Nobility has more leeway, but even then it's kept on the downlow.

>> No.43849774

>>43849382
It would poison their metal asses.

>> No.43849879

don't they have a "emperor's kegel" attack they can use on their suitors? there wouldn't be much left after that.

>> No.43850447

>>43839022
Imagine you are a child.

By some insanely bizarre twist of fate (probably Tzeentch's because he is capable of pulling off stuff like that), you live in the 40k universe.

How screwed up is your childhood?

>> No.43851080

>>43850447
>Be born on a Paradise World in an unimportant backwater
>No enemies of the Imperium give a shit about the world, or even know it exists
>Biggest fear is a wipe out out in the surf and getting laughed at
>FeelsGoodman.jpg

>> No.43851377

In BL books Callidus assassins can dodge bolter shots and throw Space Marines around. What kind of super soldier serum Officio Assassinorum uses because they don't have gene-seed and cybernetics?

>> No.43851784

>>43839183
Eversor is the least likely to even happen, from my knowledge they're pretty much just kept in stasis until they're sent in to fuck somewhere up, then put back in stasis straight afterwards, whereas other ordo's might be down there for months, and I don't believe they're put in stasis after missions.

>> No.43851822

>>43851377

Look at those thighs, man. She could bench press a leman russ.

>> No.43851832

>>43851377

Assassins honestly most likely have better mods than Marines.

The issue is that you could never make an entire army of people that modded.

Marines are the budget, mass producible version compared to Assassins.

>> No.43851910

>>43849211
We'll never know that anon.

>>43851832
I would agree with this.

>> No.43851928

>>43851377
BL books aren't usually canon, but assassins could kill a normal space marine, for sure, it's just a matter of equal if not more training, better implants (though not as strong actual bodies), and better gear. That being said, space marines are about as powerful as the story needs them to be, so it's hard to say who would win really against veteran marines or assassins, though I'd bet on the marine most of the time, in some stories marines are just unstoppable almost godlike beings, while in others they get ripped apart by IG units, it's really a matter of author and what the plot needs them to be.


There's a reason assassins aren't put in direct combat roles (apart from eversors), while marines are, they're just better suited for fighting and being adaptable that way, assassins are incredibly specific, and designed to be the absolute best at that job.

Like how a vindicare can outshoot most things in existence, but compared to a close combat specialist marine, they're not much at all, whereas an eversor is going to kill pretty much anything in melee, but their shooting skills are less than a ranged specialist.

>> No.43851952

>>43851928
That's very much sure with the Callidus.

Those C'Tan Phase Blades are lethal as they ignore any armor.

>> No.43851975

>>43841167
>that fat fuck ate her cake

>> No.43851978

>>43851784
>Hi, my name is Frank-XCVII. I'm a single dad who likes long periods in cryostasis, combat drugs, and disemboweling people .
>Nice to meet you, Frank, I'm Betty-LXXXVIII. I'm a single parent too. My hobbies are infiltrating enemy organizations by killing and replacing key individuals and stabbing people.

>> No.43851998

>>43851975
Most of it. Luckily there is still some.

>> No.43852016

>>43849211
Ok, Venenum Assassins use Polymorpine and poisons, so rules wise they would pretty much be a Poison focused variant of the Callidus assassin.
Vanus on the other hand. Aren't they Information and Sabotage focused?
How would that work?

>> No.43852032

>>43851998
IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER WHO THE FUCK EATS SOMEBODY ELSE'S BIRTHDAY CAKE WITHOUT THEY'RE PERMISSION?!

>> No.43852050

>>43852032
In the grim darkness of the 41st Millennium, there are only assassins with eaten cakes.

>> No.43852051

>>43852016
Xtreme Hacking

>> No.43852077

>>43839892
>video doesn't end with Eversor exploding in a cloud of combat drugs
meh

>> No.43852105

>>43851928

The Callidus vs marines incident we know of was in one of the newer books that tie to Horus Heresy, in the aftermath of Kurze's death so safe to say it's canon.

>Tremendous weight smashed her to the ground. The primarch’s head rolled from her clutch, her own face smashed against the tiled floor. Stimulants flooded her blood and she hurled the burden away. Within a heartbeat’s span, the assassin was on her feet once more, looking back at the Astartes she’d thrown back against the wall.

The Eversor vs Farsight & Bodyguard in Mont'ka is a good indicator all close combat-focused assassins should have power levels well above marines.

>> No.43852124

>>43852077
How would the kid deal with the fact his dad is dead?

Yeah, having a Eversor for a parent would be...hard, but a parent is a parent. Not to mention how would they raise their kids.

>> No.43852133

>>43852032
You see that sigil? The big "I" stands for "I can do whatever I want punkass bitch!"

>> No.43852180

Assassins are definitely better than marines in one v one combat, but they can't be produced anywhere near as fast (Which is saying something, since marine production is slooooow), and can't be counted on for any soldiering duties beyond killing single targets. Marines as a whole are a lot more versatile and contribute more to a war effort, even if an individual assassin can do more than an individual marine.

>> No.43852191

>>43852180
Yep.

Then again, Temple Assassins are a rare breed. Finding the candidates is much harder than in case of Marine recruits, and the mortality rate is higher than among Astartes.

>> No.43852511

>>43852133
A certain Inquisitor Mendoza thought he could...

>> No.43852776

>>43852511
What happened to him?

Also who is Mendoza?

>> No.43852879

>>43852776
An Inquisitor from the 32nd Millennium who thought all Space Marines are irreversibly prone to being corrupt and thus they needed to have bolts shot into their skulls. Given the fact that the Horus Heresy was still something fresh back then, I wouldn't think that he is wrong, but executing royal Astartes for just existing was bullshit.

Started with Black Templars, went on a execution rampage on every Astartes he managed to get his hands on...only to end up in a pool of his own blood.

Some say that it was an Assassin that did the deed. Others say that it was the BTs who got him after this bullshit.

My headcanon is that the latter happened.

>> No.43853504

>>43849530
That's actually something to think about.

>> No.43853775

>>43849382
There are venoms that are considered corrosive...

So it will be like very strong acid.

>> No.43854500

>>43843319
Back again. Thought about something different...

For some time, Ceres wasn't getting any new missions from her Temple. Either the Grand Master had spare assassins to send out, or there were no targets for termination at the time. Good for her, since she'd have more time for both personal training, as well at training Raphael and Rebecca. But today was free time. A reward for the two for their outstanding performance in both training and education. Living on a Imperial World that was actually decent, the single mother and her children decided to go and see the local Imperial Guard parade. The unit that was stationing at the moment belonged to the Vostroyan 102nd, thus Ceres knew well that with the bombastic and colourful pump the Guardsmen brought with them would make Raphael and Rebecca left with smiles and awe. For this she shifted her suit to look like modest clothes that didn't catch the eyes.

> We're going to see the Imperial Guards!? - asked Raphael, his enthusiasm peaking
> Yes, and they'll come presenting everything they have. - replied the Callidus
> Mom, are there truly girls in the guard? - asked Rebecca inquisitively
> There are all woman regiments sweety. For the God Emperor, it does not matter who you are, he accepts both men and women into HIS armies.
> The Emperor sure is generous.
> Yes Raphael, HE is...<unless you're a heretic or a traitor> - Ceres added a mental thought to what she said to her son

The three were walking down the alleyway to a position where they'd have a good look at the parade. Ceres brought the children to a higher ground in the form of a small building from which the three would see the parade...and about time, for the moment they came, the parade was waltzing down the street they were looking at.

The Vostroyans indeed brought everything they had, and with the width of the street, they had the chance to present it.

>> No.43855319

>>43854500
Fanfares played as the regiment marched. The Vostroyan Firstborn, with their large and imposing fur hats, marched through the streets in unison while presenting how disciplined they are. Every platoon carried a banner with their regiment's symbol. The Commissars observed the guardsmen so that none of them would break formations. The last one was the Lord General himself waving from his Salamander Command Vehicle, his moustache and (probably THE largest) hat gave him an air authority. Not to mention the amount of medals he had. One would think they'd be like a solid slab of plasteel and ceramite.

Behind him was however something that everyone waited for. The vehicles of the regiment...all led by an Imperial Knight. Ceres heard rumors that the Guard was accompanied by a Freeblade, but the rumors were true. The Knight was all white and gold, and it sported an enormous Battle Cannon and Reaper Chainsword. It seemed the giant war machine was leading the mechanical columns and its steps send light tremors everywhere.

Leman Russes, Chimeras, Tauroxes, Hellhounds, Sentinels, Manticores, Deathstrike Missile Launchers, Basilisks, CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT TRANSPORTERS, Hydra Flak Tanks...and FIVE Baneblades. They even had Tauros Scout Vehicles for some strange reason. With such a wide variety of vehicles this regiment was actually ready for the worst. And in the air, Lightnings, Thunderbolts and Valkyries flew through the sky.

The entire parade was meticulously done. Rebecca and Raphael were astonished at what they saw. No wonder, since every child would react to such a display.

> IT'S AWESOME!! - Raphael exclaimed with excitement
> AND LOOK, THEY HAVE GIRLS! - Added Rebecca while pointing on a Vostroyan that was indeed a woman
> Rebecca, you shouldn't point fingers at the servants of The Emperor. It's impolite.
> Yes mommy.

When the parade passed, the trio went down into the streets and followed the regiment along with the crowd.

>> No.43855376

>>43851928
>but their shooting skills are less than a ranged specialist.
actually eversors are pretty baller at shooting

fast shot and the backpack sensors means they're getting four BS8 shots on anyone who charges them, with a single pistol

Space Marines just have a shit ton of benefits that extend beyond raw combat power.

>> No.43856115

>>43855319
The guardsmen actually started to socialize with the people. They set up booths with firing ranges (of course the lasguns weren't real but simple peashooters) where one could win plushie Vostroyan. There were even sword plays and traditional Vostroyan dances, presentation on the various firearms the regiment had, looking inside the various vehicles and having a picture with the Freeblade. The kids loved the place, so did Rebecca and Raphael.

The family spend all the remaining day until late evening. At this point the children were tired and it was up to Ceres to take them back home. The assassin was stronger than normal humans, thus the two barely had any weight for her to feel. Raphael and Rebecca were both tired after the excitements they experienced and fell asleep in her arms. Inside, the Callidus was somewhat happy about this. Back in her old days she did come to parades, but only to cause havoc and mayhem while assassinating a Chaos-worshipping general disguised as his 2nd in command. For once going to one where you didn't need to kill someone was...odd for her. Still she got some enjoyment out of it.

> Well, that was satisfying. - Ceres thought herself and looked at the two little ones in her arms - Hope you two enjoyed it, because tomorrow we're starting anew.

As she walked through the now empty and partially lit streets, Ceres saw another person emerge from a smaller street. A woman in leather waved to her and started to approach the family. She already knew who that was.

> Well how do you do Ceres? Is your punishment going smoothly?
> Glad to see you Anastasia. - replied Ceres with a dose of sarcasm - And yes, it is. If you have something to say, then do it now.
> Orders from the Grand Master. She wants you in the Temple as soon as possible. New mission for you.
> I'll be on my way, but after I put these two to bed.

>> No.43856181

>>43855319
>The vehicles of the regiment
this tickles my autism
nice read though

>> No.43856422

>>43856115
> For real. A top member of the temple and you aren't even pretending. I honestly hope you haven't gotten soft here Ceres. - replied Anastasia with cold in her voice, only to suddenly change her tone in an instant... - Look, if you have problems, you can always talk with me about them. You don't need to go through this on your own.

This surprised Ceres (and additionally added some suspicion to it), as Anastasia was most of the time an egocentric person in the temple, but to talk about problems?

> Whatever. - replied Ceres - Look, we'll talk about it later after I get to hear what the Grand Master has to say. Now if you excuse me, I need to put Raphael and Rebecca to bed...and tell them in the morning if I will go somewhere again for an unspecified amount of time.

As she said this, Ceres passed by Anastasia. The fellow Callidus watched the single mother walk away.

> You did change during those five years Ceres. - Anastasia though as she shapeshifted her jacket into a leather long coat and moved back where she appeared from - And to think you are my role model.

End.

>>43856181
Sorry if I screwed up something.

>> No.43856500

>>43854500
>>43855319
>>43856115
>>43856422
That was nice. Much more heartwarming that the previous story.

>> No.43856899

>>43856422
>if that chick starts kidnapping orphans.......

>> No.43856919

>>43856899
> That manga...

Well it might give me an idea...as well as what happens if you do something so stupid like pissing off a Callidus Assassin.

>> No.43857316

>>43851080
Then one day, you watch a beautiful falling star. It persist far longer than usual... Until it lands where the next village along the tranquil coast is. The blast lights up the night sky, and the boom wakes up all within the village.

By the morning, miserable survivors show up, paddling in on their tattered boats or random debris from their houses. Many are wounded, and they speak of a large stone that fell on their village, wiping most of it out in a single blast... And then out of the rock came lumbering green monsters, the dreaded Xenos no doubt.
The villagers speak of the monsters relentlessly hunting down stragglers and survivors, either killing them outright or wounding and catching them, shackling them and making them gather the scattered debris strewn about by their violent arrival...
Where the quaint village once stood, now only a giant column of smoke is seen rising, and strange, metallic sounds echo across the coast, getting closer by the hour.

>> No.43857515 [SPOILER] 

>>43857316
WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

>> No.43857607

>>43852105
Yeah, for sure something like an eversor or a callidus could kill most marines easily, they've just got better mods than they do, better gear and possibly better training.

>>43855376
They are, but when I'm talking specialists I mean someone who's dedicated their live to shooting shit that's really really far away, like Telion or someone on that level.

But yeah, marines just have more versatility in a warzone really, and some of their unique mods are pretty useful for strike forces, whereas assassins might not fare as well being left in hostile territory and told to take an entire city.


Kind of curious how assassins would fare against higher level marines though, I can't imagine most would do well against any of the named chapter masters, let alone someone like Draigo. Grey knights in general actually, how would they compare against assassins, seeing as their gear is pretty fucking excellent as well.

>> No.43857684

>>43857607
Due to the fact that GK are psykers themselves, then the Culexus would be their natural enemy.

Psychic Abomination is lethal against psykers, and if the enemy is a HQ choice, then they are double screwed since the assassins have Preferred Enemy (Psyker)...not to mention other abilities.

And don't get me started on the equipment these dudes have.

>> No.43858093

>>43857684
That's true, but theoretically wouldn't the grey knights also have access to gear that could protect against that sort of attack?

And that's ignoring their actual training, I mean, the grey knights are one of those armies that not only are they poorly represented as far as power levels go, but you still usually only get a few squads out.

I'm just curious how it would match up as far as lore goes, I mean, grey knights are admittedly pretty specialised for fighting daemons, but still, their training is pretty top notch, ignoring psychic factors (seeing as their powers work kind of weirdly a lot of the time, and aren't really used as psyker powers usually).

>> No.43858241

>>43858093
They do have staves that grant them resistance against incoming psychic powers...and that's all, but how can that defend against something that is the complete opposite of a psyker?

Yeah the GK are better than vanilla Marines, but one needs to remember that the Temple Assassins are also superhuman at this point due to what things they do to them in order to make a candidate into a killing machine.

That is against a five-man squad, an assassin can come out triumphant.

But against a squad of Death Star GK Paladin Terminators? Even a Culexus may not survive the experience.

>> No.43858323

>>43858241
A Culexus assassin can make Chaos Sorcerers that command whole armies piss themselves face to face

Hell, it can make daemons skeezy

It is PRECISELY made in every regard to fuck anything to do with the Warp right up

>> No.43858394

>>43858323
Yep. Not to mention the rarity of Pariahs/Untouchables needed to become recruits. And that is if we include into it factors like being killed the moment one is born and etc.

And if Illuminor Szeras will finally make the Necron Pariahs come back...

>> No.43860835

>>43851822
You mean squat a Leman Russ right?

>> No.43863310

>>43839022
>ctrl-F Lofn
0 times

>> No.43864482

>>43863310
playing hide and seek with temple assissinorium kids would be pretty cool and terrifying actually

>> No.43864820

>>43860835
You mean deadlift a Leman Russ, right? You can grab the bumper to do that.

>> No.43864936

>>43864820
no THE Leman Russ

>> No.43865536

>>43856422
Polymorphine and Synthskin doesn't change clothing. They need to wear clothing separately.

>> No.43865581

>>43857316
Paradise worlds are used as vacation spots for the rich and famous.
Not only will they have a well supplied standing army, Navy response would be quite quick also.

>> No.43867351

>>43858241
That's true, I wasn't sure how grey knight armor worked, if it would have ways to work against nulls in the archeotech equivalents, but it makes sense they wouldn't bother, seeing as they fight demons mainly.

And I can definitely see an assassin beating a squad of marines, maybe not killing them due to how damn tough marines are to actually kill, but beating in combat for sure, but I'm just not sure how well they'd do against grey knights as far as combat goes, let alone close combat specialist knights.

What about something like an eversor? I imagine they'd fare significantly worse against grey knights, with the entire psychic advantage thing, and even ignoring that, from my knowledge eversors aren't really designed for 1v1 combat against elite of the elite targets, more for ripping apart factories full of normal humans or killing some corrupt officials bodyguard.

>> No.43867593

>>43867351
Actually combined with their lightning fast reflexes and their wargear, Temple Assassins are capable of killing off Space Marines.

Eversors, apart of unleashing terrifying damage, will explode when killed and take a couple of more with them.

Vindicares can snipe enemies from extreme range and their rifles have ammo that will go through Terminator armor.

Culexus one the other hand is only fully usable against psykers. But damn how useful he is, so GK would be in serious jeopardy against such a person.

Callidus Assassins' C'Tan Phase Blade is AP2 that ignores Invulnerable Saves on 6's. So Terminators will die horribly to her without Thunder Hammers.

>> No.43867704

>>43856422
I need more. Please write more

>> No.43867710

>>43865536
>They need to wear clothing separately.
with hips like that they really don't

>> No.43867842

>>43865536
Actually...It's not written anywhere if their suits can change or not.

Not to mention that Polymorphine also varies from author to author on how well it functions.

>>43867704
Will try and think about something.

>> No.43867864

>>43867593
I was referring more to the fact that in lore, marines just have a hell of a lot of failsafes that mean not much short of cutting of their heads completely or destroying their entire body will actually kill them, not denying that any one of the assassins couldn't assassinate a marine if they wanted to for whatever reason.

But grey knights are kind of a whole other level, so I wasn't really sure how most assassins would go against them. Nemesis gear is nothing to turn your nose up at.

For example, an Eversor, though it is obviously a beast in close combat, isn't really meant for dueling, so I wouldn't be sure how it would go against it.

Vindicare is kind of an unfair comparison, it's really a matter of who gets the first shot on the other, which admittedly would likely be the assassin, but a grey knight could just as easily deep strike into right next to it and kill it with little trouble, so it's not easy to compare.

Culexus are pretty much meant for fighting psykers, I get that, so I can't see much that isn't a named grey knight faring well against one. I mean, a culexus could just waltz right up to magnus and kill him if there was no limits to how effective the power was. Hell, they could kill chaos gods themselves.

>> No.43867933

>>43867864
>a culexus could just waltz right up to magnus and kill him if there was no limits to how effective the power was. Hell, they could kill chaos gods themselves.

>mfw someone is this retarded

>> No.43867994

>>43867933
>if there was no limits

Their powers are essentially just taking something's psychic power and using it against them. My point was that if a being was powerful enough, simply being able to do that wouldn't actually be enough.

>> No.43867997

>>43867864
The Culexus thing you just said is...a little bit too much of a stretch.

But yeah, they can waltz undetected and kill a psyker without the latter even knowing what happened.

There are actually multiple fluff shorts in the Assassin Dataslate Codex where a Culexus waltzes in undetected. The first time in case of a Chaos Sorcerer when sending in the three other Assassins proved a failure (the Culexus simply went pass the Rubric Marines and Horrors because they literally couldn't see the Assassin due to his soulless state) and fried the Chaos Marine's brain.

The other one was a Culexus infiltrating Saim-Hann. The Eldar were alert that the Craftworld was infiltrated, but they were horrified that they couldn't pin-point the infiltrator. Meanwhile the Culexus found his target, a notorious Farseer, and battled him until the Eldar was exhausted to the point that he simply surrendered to the assassin.

>> No.43868039

>>43867994
You probably mentioned Spear.

That Culexus actually had this ability and was the only Assassin capable of killing The Emperor.

>> No.43868059

>>43867997
Yeah, I think you an the other dude misread me, I was saying there was obviously a limit to what they could do, that psychic power doesn't make something necessarily powerless against them, otherwise they could kill ridiculous stuff like I said in my post.

Also, I was under the assumption that rubric marines didn't really do much of anything on their own, whether you had a soul or not, they need a sorceror to command them. Has that changed, or am I just wrong, or what?

>> No.43868083

>>43868059
They still need one, but the ones in the fluff were in guard mode while the Sorcerer was busy enacting a ritual, so he couldn't just go and command them.

>> No.43868120

>>43868039
Spear actually makes no sense to me, how can a daemon be bonded to a pariah? Seems like it goes against the entire point of a pariah.

>>43868083
That makes sense then, I wasn't sure if it had changed.

>> No.43868139

>>43868120
> Spear actually makes no sense

They should've done a better job at it.

On the other hand it's some Erebus shenanigans.

>> No.43868210

I supposed it would mean my mother is a defected Callidus temple assassin who discovered enough truths about the imperium or some shit to wish to leave it. Best way to hide and get away from it all would probably be using her shapeshifting abilities to board a rogue trader ship bound for the galactic frontier. One of several reasons she might have become fertile could be exposure to weird archaeo/xenotech healing machinery, psychic healing by a thankful eldar psyker, or of course chaos meddling.

In that case I guess my childhood would have been.. scary and strange, but relatively safe and non-miserable unlike that of the average hivedweller. I probably almost never met other kids and spent a lot of time alone with dataslates or sneaking out to explore whatever ship or planet I was currently on.

>> No.43868272

>>43868210
Actually nobody knows if Temple Assassins are infertile or not. Just like in the case of Space Marines, the facts are utterly shrouded in mystery and the lack of informations whether the assassin training and changes do make them infertile or not is never explored...because GW never bothered with this at all.

>> No.43868319

>>43868272
Well I'm just assuming all the surgical and chemical prodecures they go through are rather likely to leave them infertile. Callidus assassins however might be a deliberate exception, since long-term infiltration could concievably entail marrying some governor.

>> No.43868355

>>43868319
Only to stab them or to get closer to other targets. On the other hand it would be logical since they are masters of pretend, and if it would require them to do so, letting themselves get knocked up and pregnant would be considered as part of a mission.

We could assume that the majority of assassins are infertile or that there is a high probability of them becoming this.

>> No.43868413

>>43868355
>Only to stab them or to get closer to other targets.
I was under the impression callidus assassins were used as regular old fashioned information-gathering spies as well as assassins?

>> No.43868434

>>43868413
Both what you said, as well as being manipulators, seeding disinformation, causing havoc in the enemy ranks with false orders and etc.

Their very name means deception.

>> No.43868805

>>43865581
That'll only make the poor saps whose village the Rok fell on slightly better

>> No.43868900

>>43868210
>who discovered enough truths about the imperium
You are aware the Assassins are one of the biggest 'truths' of the Imperium.
Not only would they not care, they probably know more then enough already and if one went rogue over some heretics lies then it stands to reason that they were a bad egg from the start.

>> No.43868915

>>43868413
That seems more a Vanus job or even some non-Temple Assassin job.

Not disputing that a Callidus may have to pull a long con that might even require a low body count. But straight out 'just' information gathering seems unlikely.

>> No.43868951

>you will never snap out of your deep cover programming and realize you're a sexy callidus posing as a male nerd on a backwater planet that is unaware of the rest of the Imperium

>> No.43869434

>>43867704
>>43867842
Back again. This time with an idea.

Today was a peaceful night. If it were a Hive or Forge World then a crushing majority of their populace would have barely any sleep. If it were a Feral or Death World, then everyone would've been sleeping with their weapons ready to lash out at ravenous predators that would be active at this time. This being a relatively decent Imperial World away from conflicts, seemed to be normal...on the outside.

Corrupt officials, religious figures, military figures and heretical jetsam and flotsam. Those are the things the Officio Assassinorum has to deal with in order for the Imperium function properly, and to make it so that such worlds wouldn't stray away from The Emperor's light.

Another mission. Ceres was sent out to infiltrate a Chaos cult that was rumored to be in the very city she and her family lived. She was glad that Inquisitor Gerantius took care of Raphael and Rebecca. Even if he were a glutton, the Inquisitor was a good person in his own right. Some people would've mistaken him for idle person with severe obesity, but there was a reason why he was in charge of this here planet and the Inquisitorial Conclave. Not to mention why it was relatively safe here despite the situation being...livid.

> Well these two fell asleep really fast. - said to himself Gerantius - Ceres doesn't show any mercy when it comes raising them.

The Inquisitor knew Ceres for a long time. In her eyes, apart of being The Emperor's divine tool of judgement, she was also a no-nonsense individual and strict when it came to training. After Gerantius heard of her "blunder", he dismissed this as some joke until he saw Raphael and Rebecca for the first time as infants. Back then the Inquisitor decided to help Ceres in raising the two. If he were a normal, run-off the mill Inquisitor, he'd have abandoned the assassin, but he didn't have the guts in this case.

>> No.43870023

>>43869434
Gerantius was in the living room of Ceres's quarters. Everything was clean and meticulously done. The assassin disliked when something was imperfectly done. Not to mention that her being an Epsilon rank assassin, she was an instructor for the newer recruits. Now she used those skill in raising the two. Maybe with some luck, the children will become part of his retinue along with Ceres. Who knows?

The Inquisitor did a quick check again if they are sleeping. The children slept in a large bed for two. Seeing their innocent faces in deep sleep was something he rarely saw. Usually the only people he saw were either those of his conclave or retinue, those with whom he had business, or heretics that needed to be executed by his Infernus Pistol.

> Best I leave and come tomorrow. Ceres should be home at this time in the morning. But before that... - in this moment the Inquisitor went for his backpack he left next to the door, and pulled out a black stasis box he got from a acquaintance Magos. Inside was something that he himself liked - That should be sufficient to make up for the cake I ate.

A fruit cake it was. Made out of a multitude of ingredients, this cake was one those Gerantius liked to bake. Indeed. One of the Inquisitors most favorite past times, apart of reading and collecting exotic weapons, was cooking.

With the cake in the refrigerator, the Inquisitor silently set off towards the door when he heard a voice behind him.

> Uncle Gerantius. - Rebecca was standing next to her and her brother's room sleepy looking. Gerantius didn't even heard her. Ceres must've trained her well - Are you leaving?

The Inquisitor turned to face her. Her sleepy look on her face had something piercing about it. The Inquisitor approached and kneeled before her face-to-face.

> Rebecca, I do need to leave for now since I have some work to do. By the time morning will come, your mother will already be here, but for now go to sleep. - whispered the Inquisitor.

>> No.43870570

>>43870023
> You will come back?
> I will. But now please sleep. You'll need to rest now.

The sleepyheaded Rebecca nodded and turned back to the room.

> Good night uncle Gerantius.
> Good night. - replied silently the Inquisitor.

After leaving the quarters, the Inquisitor moved onwards through the street that was lightened up by the moonlight. It was indeed peaceful, yet not for Gerantius. Knowing well, Ceres should be finished already with her infiltration and is now probably mind-probed for the presence of the taint of Chaos.

> So we finally found you Inquisitor. - a sinister voice came out of the shadowed alley to the left - It is foolish for someone like you to walk in the night without at least someone to accompany you.

A figure strode out. Tattered clothes, scars on his face, and a large mark on his chest...that of Chaos Undivided.

> So. - replied the Inquisitor - Suddenly heretics, instead of covering in the darkest corners of the city, you go head on to face your judgement?
> Say what you want lapdog of the false Emperor, for we wouldn't have come if it wasn't for our masters wanting to have a chat with you.
> Me? I'd like to speak about that in my office with you...while interrogating.
> Though words for a pile of lard.

As the cultist mocked the Inquisitor, five others emerged from the shadows. Just like that one, they all had the marks of Chaos on their chests and were armed to with sledgehammers and blades.

> Heh. At least that'll be nice. - Gerantius said it with a smirk as he readied himself for the fight.

In one fell swoop, the cultists sprinted towards the Inquisitor. The closest to him was suddenly vaporized in an instant by a shot from a sleeve-hidden Infernus Pistol. What was left was the lower half only.

The second one tried to hit Gerantius with his sledgehammer, but to his surprise, the obese Inquisitor was incredibly fast and dodged the hit. A second later a small knife shot out of his sleeve, hitting the cultist in the head.

>> No.43870699

-Mom! Why you always carry me on your womb for take me to the schola?
-Hush my girl, mom has to practice her kidnapping skills.

>> No.43870717

>>43870699
This now reminded me of Mother Gullet.

>> No.43870738

>>43870717
Good that it does because the joke is Mother Gullet being your mom.

>> No.43870776

>>43870738
The first time I read about her was like "the fuck?"

> Governor douchebag cocks the High Lords. High Lords displeased.
> Cannot send in the army, would upset the balance of power.
> Governor set up guards for his baby boy 24h a day, for he knows Imperials would want to kidnap him.
> Mother Gullet is send to get the baby. Infiltrates the palace as a nanny.
> Simply swallows the kid and waltzes out back to her masters.

At least the baby was regurgitated in the end. Fine, but probably traumatized.

>> No.43870808

>>43870776
Depends of his age his psyche would mostly conceal the event as a bad dream.
Being Mother Gullet's son sure would make you develop a kangaroo cub complex.

>> No.43870819

>>43870808
Darn. Now I'm getting disturbed...and aroused.

>> No.43871300

>>43870570
The Chaos worshippers weren't so confident now after they saw the Inquisitor in action. A blade wielding one threw his weapon at Gerantius, who quickly dodged it, only to have the attacker jump on him.

The Inquisitor only smirked at the offender and caught him in a bear hug. The Cultist tried to free himself, but in an instant he was crushed. The other worshippers were horrified at this.

> You know? I'm more than meets the eye. - exclaimed the Inquisitor. A sinister grin appeared on his face.

Before any of them could react, two of the worshippers were hit with something the moment Gerantius extended his arms towards them. In seconds, the cultists fell down on the ground with foam coming out of their mouths. The cultist that first appeared was now nervous in the extreme, since he thought that his target was a good for nothing fat bastard. And the failure of noticing that was going to be severe. At this point, he turned around and started to run away. All of a sudden he felt something enveloping him. In this instant he was immobilized and fell on the ground.

> You really were cocky thinking that you could just oh so take on someone like me? - said Gerantius as he approached the cultist - I need to inform you that I didn't became a Ordo Xenos Inquisitor without a reason.
> Y-YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!! MY MASTERS WILL...!!...GMPH! - at this moment the cultist was silenced with something that looked like a old, oversized bum.
> Shaddap, or you want the neighbourhood to hear us? - replied Gerantius as he let go of the bum and picked up the cultist like a sack of grox meat.

The Inquisitor, knowing that would be a commotion in the morning if anyone saw the corpses (not to mention them being Chaos), used his Infernus Pistol to vaporize them. Now people will simply try to figure out why the pavement is partially melted.

> So, you wanted me to meet your masters right? Well as I said, we'll talk about it in my office.

>> No.43871447

>>43868210

One of the Inquisitor rpg opponents was a rogue experimental callidus who had unstable shapeshifting and went heretic to search a cure.

>> No.43871491

>>43867842

It's inconsistent. In that assassin comic the clothes do change, in this story from the ancient Assassin codex they don't.

>> No.43871546

>>43839896
How can a Chapter recruit a regular person? I thought space marines were specially made.

>> No.43871615

>>43871546
Marine candidates need to start getting enhanced at a fairly young age, but their not actually born out of tank or anything.

>> No.43872125

>>43871300
And thus the Inquisitor resumed his walk back to the headquarters. All the while he was carrying a struggling cultist on his back.

The next day in the early morning, Ceres finally came back to her quarters. After probing when she returned from infiltration, the last thing she wanted is a hot bath and some rest. Yet this had to wait...

> MOM!! - Raphael and Rebecca burst out of their room as they called Ceres in unison.

The children ran towards the assassin and hugged her. It surprised her that the two stood up this fast in the morning.

> We missed you! - said Raphael
> So very much! - added Rebecca

The Callidus regained her composure (still was somewhat having a headache after the probing) as her mask retracted.

> I missed you two too...but how long were you awake?
> We woke up just recently. - replied Rebecca
> And what if it wasn't me but someone else?
> We knew it. - replied Raphael - When you move mom, you have this distinct way of movement.

This actually surprised her. She knew she trained the two in many ways, but to distinguish the way one walked? This actually impressed her that they learned this. Not to mention feeling some satisfaction from this.

> So how was it with Gerantius?
> It was fun! - replied Rebecca
> We learned so much about history and about the worlds in the Imperium. - added Raphael - I want to see Necromunda!

At this moment Ceres reminded herself about a fellow Vindicare being sent there to kill a Spyrer. He ended up in the middle of a gang war with every single house while playing cat and mouse with the damnable noble and trying to survive.

> We...we'll think of it. - replied the Callidus.
> Uncle Gerantius left you something in the fridge.
> Really Rebecca?
> Yep.
> Alright, then now go and dress up you two while I prepare something to eat.

The kids ran back to their room. While they dressed up, Ceres walked up to and opened the fridge.

> A fruit cake? - thought the Callidus - At least you compensated.

End

>> No.43872159

>>43871491
Darn. It's indeed inconsistent.

We could argue that it depends on how well their synth-suits are made and what they are made out of.

>>43871546
Certain Chapters will recruit kids from planets that aren't Death Worlds.

Just recently I discovered that Imperial Fists recruit from Necromunda.

>> No.43872189

>>43869434
>>43870023
>>43870570
>>43871300
>>43872125
And then Inquisitor Fatass repayed for the damage.

>> No.43872325

>>43840877
Let's just say we know what temple you should train for.

>> No.43872766

>>43857607
Someone set an assassin on emo primarch so it's considered a posabilety for them to succeed at that. I think that Chapter Master is going to die.

>> No.43872795

>>43872766
Conrad Kurze let himself get assassinated.

Normally he'd torn the Callidus apart and wore her skin as a new fancy cape.

>> No.43873293

>>43872795
But someone was willing to send an assassin, you don't do that if you know it's a death sentience.
I know he could have won but to put down a willing primarch isn't easy.

>> No.43873421

>>43873293
Dude, C'Tan Phase Blades are AP2 and ignore saves of any kind on a 6.

Also the first Execution Force was sent out to kill Horus.

IT ENDED IN AN EPIC FAIL. For Horus was too OP at this point.

>> No.43873515

>>43873421
All true however none of that means a Chapter Master would be safe from a single Assassin were one sent to kill him.

>> No.43873699

>>43839022
I just have to imagine how an emotionally damaged and very likely beyond conventional limits of the descriptor 'human' modified assassin would think when she finds out she's pregnant

>> No.43873744

>>43873515
Yeah, unless said Chapter Master does have something that can give him a chance against one. Then again there is little in the galaxy that can stand up against a whole Execution Force in CQC and survive.

>>43873699
I too don't know what a Callidus would think realistically if she found out she was pregnant.

>> No.43873891

>>43873744
Probably somewhere along the lines of ¨DOES NOT COMPUTE¨

>> No.43873939

>>43839022
I probably just end up in the Schola Progenium.

>> No.43874021

>>43873891
Maybe. Then either disown the kid, or something would twitch in her mind and her maternal instincts would awaken.

Then she'd be shot for becoming more human than it is allowed for an assassin of her type to be.

>>43873939
Well that's a good fate actually.

>> No.43874079

>>43873744

They have a range of personalities from what I figure from their canon appearences, so there is no brainwashing into uniformity.

>> No.43874138

>>43874079
Now that you mention it...a Callidus would have at this point the most personality of the four presented assassins, so probably it wouldn't be bad if she suddenly got pregnant.

>> No.43874146

>>43852879
>2000 years ago
>"still fresh"

>> No.43874189

>>43874146
2000 years is actually short for 40K standards.

>> No.43874348

>>43874021
>Maybe. Then either disown the kid, or something would twitch in her mind and her maternal instincts would awaken.
Or maybe the kid comes out as some kind of disgusting lump of faces and limbs because in-utero polymorphine exposure makes thalidomide pale in comparison

>> No.43874380

>>43874348
Well that's the worst case scenario.

The best one would be that the kid is born normal at first, but is born with a genetic curse.

>> No.43874663

>>43840378
>>43841167
>>43841738

>> No.43874799

>>43854500
>>43855319
>>43856115
>>43856422
last one inc

>> No.43874806

I hate being the one who brings this up but mommys job would take her away from home for long units of time. I'm sorry anons.

>> No.43874821

>>43869434
>>43870023
>>43870570
>>43871300
>>43872125

>> No.43874849

>>43874663
>>43874799
>>43874821
Heh. Thanks.

>>43874806
Well...unless mommy would take the kid with herself, raise it so that it would become self-sufficient to the point of killing people with a teaspoon and then send it to the schola, then it would be OK.

>> No.43874882

>>43874821
Dammit. Now I see where I did a blunder.

It should've been Garantius, not Gerantius.

DAMMIT. Next time I need to fix this.

>> No.43875258

>>43874849
>You will never be that kid who's stuck being told "those kids are about your age" when mummy needs to go kill an enemy of the God Emperor.
It would serve her right if I ran away to join the Astartes.

>> No.43875311

>>43875258
If you were capable of killing people with a teaspoon, then the Marines would take you in.

>> No.43875729

>>43873515
I wouldn't say the chapter master would be safe, his life would obviously be at risk, but odds are if they were both geared up properly, he would win, there's not really much in the universe that can take on a chapter master and come out unscathed, let alone alive.

And then named marines are on a whole other level, I'd probably put my money on any marine renowned for being a great close quarters fighter against a single assassin. A whole execution force is a different matter completely, not much below primarch level would survive that.

Actually, were assassins ever used against Huron, before he became a fleet based raider?

>> No.43875732

>>43874806
Well, that would go for every kid born to one of the assassins.

The worst would be either the one born to a Culexus (which would be hard as fuck to approach one), or to a Eversor (which is even harder).

>>43874882
Shit happens man. Cheer up.

>> No.43875793

>>43875729
Nope.

The High Lords simply sent a crusade.

Pity, since the Astral Claws were awesome and them turning to Chaos made them lose one of their nicest Chapter Tactics.

>> No.43876218

>>43875729
You seem to beleave the assassin would fight fair, that is not what they do.

>> No.43876607

>>43875793
Makes sense I guess, probably not worth risking assassins on a mission they'd probably fail, the badab war wasn't really a risk to the entire empire like Horus was even.

>>43876218
For the point of comparison, we have to assume they are though, otherwise I could just say "Marines orbital strike the planet the assassin's on, they win", or that they rock up with a land raider or something like that.

Not fighting fair gets really unbalanced really quick, especially when one has access to an entire fleet and armory of super heavy vehicles.

Same as comparing a vindicare to stuff isn't really fair, because shooting something from 3 miles away isn't actually showing which is stronger, nor is "the marine lands on him with a drop pod".

>> No.43876743

>>43876607
Actually I blame High Lords stupidity that they didn't sent a Execution Force, killed off swiftly Huron and thus saved the Astral Claws from falling down into Chaos since this way they'd become humbler, make a new Chapter from the surpluses of fellow Astrals and normalize the Badab Sector.

>> No.43877128

>>43876743
I guess the assumption was that if they just killed him off, they'd have another Horus type thing on their hands, where the chapter could irreversibly fall and be a massive threat, while if they killed them all off, it didn't have the chance to turn into that. Didn't work, but I'd assume that was the logic.

>> No.43877170

>>43877128
The High Lords lately are more active, but the ratio of bullshit vs smart goes to bullshit being made most of the time.

>> No.43877229

>>43876607
If the Marines know where the assassin is and that he's the target then the assassin deserves to die.
>>43876743
As I recall it they didn't give a damd untill it was SMs vs SMs.

>> No.43877292

>>43877170
Yeah, I agree, they do some really dumb shit. I mean, it makes sense, they're essentially in charge of the entire empire, so there's a lot that could go wrong, but still, seems like they could be more subtle about some of their actions.

It's the difficulty with grimdark settings really, that in the name of keeping stuff grim, characters end up acting in retarded ways that don't really make sense, or are out of character. The high lords are just the most obvious example, because every colossal fuck up of late has been pretty much their fault, even though they should be the most capable individuals in the entire empire.

Grimdark shouldn't just mean "everything goes badly all the time because no-one can make smart decisions", it should be more "the empire does their best, and they're smart about it, but the shit they're up against is as well, and there's a lot of it". The imperial guard shows this best, there's no real reason all the commanders bar a couple should be completely retarded and just throw people at the enemy with no thought for tactics.

>> No.43877307

>>43877229
> As I recall it they didn't give a damn until it was SMs vs SMs.

Then it's even bigger bullshit and proof that these guys should be removed in the future and replaced with someone much more competent...like Space Marine Chapter Masters of the 1st Founding. Most competent people in the galaxy.

>> No.43877369

>>43877292
Yep. The situation you just described is called grimderp.

Yeah, there is grimdark, but the rule with it is that it should happen for a specific reason. Why is it really grimdark? What causes it to be grimdark? And how can one avoid something like that happen more frequently in the future?

Grimderp is just grimdark for the sake of grimdark for not even the basic reasons.

>> No.43877394

>>43877229
I'm agreeing, but if the assassin can actually get to the marine when he's surrounded by incredibly good defences and likely other marines, then the marines deserve to die as well.

It's just kind of pointless comparing combat abilities unless the two are actually facing each other one on one, you know? Comparing a sleeping marine to a fully geared assassin isn't fair, nor is comparing a fully aware marine strike force to a single assassin, as both would obviously lose in that situation, not much either party can do to defend themselves in those situations, being stabbed in the head is pretty lethal, as is being bombed from orbit or just having a strike force of terminators in a land raider turning up to kill the assassin, with air support. Situations just get really imbalanced in those sort of circumstances.

>> No.43877403

>>43877307
>Space Marine Chapter Masters of the 1st Founding
AKA the people who would be most oposed to it?
Yes I agree they are the best pick for the job.

>> No.43877544

>>43870023

>> No.43877560

>>43877369
Yeah, 40k crosses that line a lot, which sucks, because the setting has a lot of potential.

I agree though, grimdark needs to be grim for a reason, not just because the setting is a grimdark one. 40k does get it right sometimes, the Horus heresy has some really good stories like that, where shit is pretty damn dark, but it's all for a reason, and makes sense, but then in the actual main universe, next to everyone is just fucking retarded for absolutely no reason at all, and have no ability to actually think before they act.

>> No.43877645

I cannot believe it's been this long and no one has posted any Callidus porn yet.

Fuck you, /tg/.

>> No.43877746

>>43877394
Fair point. In my mind it is the job of the assassin to create that opportunity, if that means spending a year as a chapter serf until you can get him alown, asking the chapter for a lift to their next warzone (probably a bad idea) or joining the Deathwatch to keep your cover so be it.
But my mind wants to go to bed so thanks for the nice chat Anon.
>>43877645
But Anon all your porn is Callidus porn.

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