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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.42909299 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

And why do elves suck tree dick.

>> No.42909384

>And why do elves suck tree dick.

'Cuz maple jizz. Duh.

>> No.42909417

>best race
pick one

pic related is best race

>> No.42909475

>Stinky underground neckbeards
>Literally one archetype: the race
>Muh le fahhny beard

Dwarves a shit
Humans best race
Remove rock bread

>> No.42909492

So why is it that dwarvefags always need to constantly assure everyone that, yes, dwarves are the best at everything ever made greatest race all time, and also yes, elves are shit pansy elitist treefuckers? Like we get it, you don't need to always talk about it all the time

>> No.42909532

Dwarves are typically depicted as doing stuff like mining, and other hard work. Making things they need.

Elves typically are shown not doing stuff other than sitting around and maybe performing some music.Everything is already there for them.

In this example Dwarves are immediately more engaging, all you need to due to balance it is have Elves need to do things, which makes their society more interesting with a goal to work towards.

>> No.42909669

I want the old Nordic depiction of dvergar back.
Tolkien dwarves suck ass.

>> No.42910276

That's a weird way to spell "snakes"

>> No.42910332

>2015 AD
>Not making your Elves proto-Romans

>"Those dwarves make nice tools, let's conquer the shit out of them so they can make tools for us"
>"Those humans make nice clothes, let's conquer the shit out of them so they can make tools for us"
>"Those orcs make nice dakka, let's conquer the shit out of them so they can make dakka for us"
>"Those halflings... uhmmm.... look, we're running out of races to conquer ok?"

Bonus points for actually justifying their superiority complex this way.

>> No.42910387

So... elves?

>> No.42910465

>2015 in the year of Our Lord Jesus Christ
>not making your elves mongols

>> No.42910498

>Why do elves suck tree dick
How else are they going to make more elves?

>> No.42910614

>perfect race with superiority complex
I'm not going to go /pol/ here but how do you throw the idea of an elf onto a mongol chassis?

They have little in common.

>> No.42910682

They did push hard on the idea that Tengri had declared that they're destined to rule the world, that it's just a matter of fact and all should submit willingly or face their wrath

>> No.42910700

>I'm not going to go /pol/ here but how do you throw the idea of an elf onto a mongol chassis?

Not that guy (I'm actually the guy who was in favor of Roman elves) but there's horse archery, which requires less upper body strength than longbow archery and fits the swift and deadly reputation elves tend to have. Combine that with a severe entitlement complex (as in feeling entitled to fucking everything they lay eyes on. Fucking everything) and you have elf mongols.

>> No.42910771

Not any of the previous anons but I can dig it.

>> No.42910858

No regard for the lives of other races? Check.

Compensating for low numbers with high mobility and archer? Check.

Relying on efficient conquering methods rather than try and impose their culture on others? Check.

Seems pretty Mongolian.

>> No.42910951

Just imagine that, elves that are actually intimidating precisely because of their superiority complex, because they view non-elves as dogs created solely to serve them.

Since we're talking about dorfs anyway, imagine a horde of elf horsemen charging down the plains, slaughtering all they come across and demanding precious metals and finely crafted tools in exchange for not committing genocide.

>But dorfs live in the mountains, they can easily escape the elf horsemen
But for how long? The elves are patient, they have all the time in the world. And the dwarves need to leave sometime, either to work their fields or to trade with other civilizations who provide them with the food they need. Just make sure nobody enters, nobody leaves and bide your time. And when a dwarf messenger shows up to negotiate, tell them your last demand has been doubled to compensate for all the precious time they wasted. And if they really the dorfs dead, they'll just bully some other race into fighting you for them. And when the last dwarves are on the verge of death in a ditch they take anything they can fit on their horses, burn everything they can't and leave.

The very sound of the elves approaching will have any lord of any race reaching for his coffers, hoping they can be convinced to just move in the opposite direction.

>> No.42911881

>No regard for the lives of other races? Check.
>Compensating for low numbers with high mobility and archer? Check.
The mongols did not do this. One of the strong points of the horde was the amount of manpower they could bring to bear. Besides Elf =/= horde, unless you're subverting it
>Relying on efficient conquering methods rather than try and impose their culture on others? Check.
Elves don't typically envelop other cultures because they believe their own is far superior. They do not want it diluted.

I would say the unifying point of elves across most settings is and ancient advanced culture, with both suitably advanced technology and a superiority complex. There is the low birth rate as well, but these are the things that strike me as the most important.

In that respect, elves being Roman fits the bill fairly well.

>> No.42912154

The mongols weren't a particularly big people in comparison to the populations of their contemporary settled neighbors

In most fights they were fighting armies way bigger than their own

Also, those criteria don't even particularly fit Romans that well, not particularly ancient, advanced sure, but there had been plenty of advanced peoples before them, I don't even know what to say about low birth rates, as far as I know ethnic Romans didn't particularly have any trouble breeding as much as anyone else

>> No.42912192

Jesus I used "particularly" many times in that post

>> No.42912250

Autisic honor-bound midget jew miners aren't really even a decent race, let alone the best race.

>> No.42913162

I would say the difference is just that the flavors don't mix in my mind. It's referred to as the "mongol horde." The mongols were not a very advanced people beyond their military endeavors. They were a rough sort. It just doesn't fit the image.

Romans are fairly ancient and their feats of engineering are second to none. There's the Pyramids of Giza advanced, and then there is aqueducts, city-planning, a massive road network, siegeworks, etc.

The Roman birth rate declined as their opulence increased. They were incredibly outnumbered towards the end of the empire, as more and more citizens of other cultures were added.

>> No.42915018

The Mongolians were very few in number. They didn't have the agricultural base to support a large army, much less a large cavalry army, until they conquered China.
>"mongol horde"

The Mongolians were only referred to as a horde by those they defeated, (as a way for the defeated to save face). You really think the Mongolians outnumbered the Chinese army? Of course not. They could barely feed themselves (hence, the pillaging). However, because of their mobility, they were often able to strike where the Chinese were few in number, making it often seem as if they had greater numbers than they really had

>> No.42915148

age of empires
i lold

>> No.42915878

You seem to forget that dorfs are able to live completely underground. They got underground crops, farmable mushrooms, underground cattle and all the jizz your usual human town can get aboveground. You're already getting on "elves vs dwarves" territory, so that's not even a stretch.

Most big dwarven cities have large tunnel complexes and plenty of free space. Dwarves are known for their monumentous architecture, so they have way more space than necessary. Add it to the fact that those big dwarven cities are often fortresses by themselves, so even without war fortifications, invading a dwarven city is already a very hard task.

The problem here is that, while you give elves all the bonuses and aspects the race have, you're treating dwarves as a human mining town built near a mountain.

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