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[ERROR] No.41656394 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress (okay) living in Gamindustri (not okay), and you’re currently teetering between “gonna die horribly” and “maybe gonna die, but in a less than horrific manner” (extremely not okay).

… okay, well, to be honest, that's nothing out of the ordinary for you. Dwarf Fortress being what it is, there's probably an entire Planepacked's worth of fine print etched into the very fibers of your being, all of it contractually obligating you to die in hilariously terrible ways. Even so, it’s not every day that your doom comes in the form of a floating green-haired goddess, filling out a battle bikini right out of a magazine pinup and wielding a spear you’d only expect to see in a weaponsmith's feverish dreams.

It's also not every day that anyone, let alone a goddess, refers to your surrogate little sister-slash-apprentice as "my Mojang."

CPU Green Heart, the divine protector of Leanbox and the personification of all things Xbox, sweeps the area with her gaze. Even if she hadn't knocked a gaping sunlight-filled hole in your little cave, her glowing eyes would be clearly visible through the settling dust. Why the hell is she taking so long to figure out tha-

(Cont.)

>> No.41656412

>>41656394
Oh. Right. You keep forgetting that night vision's a thing that humans (and apparently goddesses) suffer, and she's been mucking around in broad daylight while you and your friends are squatting in recessed shadows. You can't tell where Rokko's gone off to, but Exey's cowering behind some rocks on the other side of the cavern, somewhere behind CPU Green Heart. You're the only one who's somewhat exposed, sitting against the wall with no cover in sight.

Quietly, you flatten yourself against the wall as much as you can.

"Are you hiding from me, Keeper?" She doesn't raise her voice. She doesn't /need/ to; her calm, melodious voice does a terrifyingly good job of conveying the thinly veiled promise of a divine ass-kicking. "Scared that I'll send you crawling back to your master? I'm afraid there won't be enough of you left for that..."

CPU Green Heart trails off, probably spotting the area where the grotesquely distorted corpse of the guard vermin WOULD have been, if you hadn't burnt it to a few blackened scraps of chitin. And, as luck would fucking have it, her gaze lands on you next.

(Cont.)

>> No.41656438

>>41656412
Now, it's not like you've never seen a goddess before. You've mucked about with Blanc- Miss Nintendo herself- back in Lowee- she questioned you, glared daggers at you, and even fought alongside you, giving you a first-hand look at her destructive potential and the endless rage she usually keeps bottled up.

However, you've never had a goddess zero in on you like this, her eyes blazing with a sudden intensity strong enough to knock you off your feet, and she's suddenly flying toward you, closing the distance in no time flat and holy fucking hell you are going to /die/-

[ ] [DUCK] and cover your head with your hands. You're a non-combatant! You come in peace! You really don't want to leave in pieces, dammit!
[ ] [DODGE] Roll out of the way, and for the love of Armok, don't look behind you. You're not her enemy!
[ ] [DIG] You are the personification of Dwarf Fortress, and you will dig this fucking hole like your life depends on it!
[ ] [DCOUNTER] Hurl yourself right at her. You're not going down like this, dammit!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.41656500

>>41656438
>[ ] [DUCK] and cover your head with your hands. You're a non-combatant! You come in peace! You really don't want to leave in pieces, dammit!
We're already tiny, ducking isn't hard.

>> No.41656525

>>41656438
>[Duck]

>> No.41656579

>>41656438
[x] [DIG] You are the personification of Dwarf Fortress, and you will dig this fucking hole like your life depends on it!
Like a true Dwarf!
Off to sleep with me, don't get us killed anons.

>> No.41656721

>>41656438
>[ ] [DUCK] and cover your head with your hands. You're a non-combatant! You come in peace! You really don't want to leave in pieces, dammit!
>[] MOJANG CALLED ME AND I CAN PROVE IT!

>> No.41656766

>>41656438
>[CHALLENGE] WHERE. IS. MOJANG!?

>> No.41656804

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>41656438
>[ ] [WRITE-IN] SHUT AND LISTEN YOU FUCKING CASUAL!

>> No.41656982

>>41656438
>[ ] [DUCK] and cover your head with your hands. You're a non-combatant! You come in peace! You really don't want to leave in pieces, dammit!

>> No.41657026

>>41656438
How long until she notices we are super adorable.

>> No.41657036

>>41656438
>[X] [DCOUNTER] Hurl yourself right at her. You're not going down like this, dammit!
Tiny-angry-wrestling-dorf-in-a-nightgown is an ancient Dwarf Fortress tradition. Usually they're also wearing three capes and a sock, but I think we can let that slide this time.

>> No.41657169

>>41657026
The moment before impact.
>Ursit all covering herself, expecting the hit
>Never comes
>Opens eyes slowly while raising her head, seeing a stopped Green Heart
>Eventually reaches her face
>With horror, finds not fire in her eyes
>It's heart pupils
>Then without warning, Vert reaches out and pulls little Urist into a Goddess Bear Huh
>Urist suffocates between Verts large memory banks.

>> No.41657428

>>41657169
Well, there are worse ways to go.

>> No.41657767

>>41656438
>[X] [DUCK]

Okay, so as instant instinctual reactions go, ducking-and-covering isn't the dwarfiest, but you're not gonna knock the time-honored tradition of shielding your head with your arms and really, really hoping you're not gonna die. Besides, there's only so much an adventurer like you can do against an oncoming tide of divine wrath, right? Right.

Looking back on this moment, you strongly, STRONGLY regret ever caving into that goddamn craven instinct.

Instead of getting splattered like a bug, you're folded into a hug that WOULD be pleasantly warm and soft if it wasn't happening at the goddamn speed of light. Instead, you feel like you've been clotheslined by a pair of airbags, and the ringing in your ears fades quickly enough to catch the tail end of some sort of "hnnnnngh" sound and

oh god no

(Cont.)

>> No.41657791

>>41657767
"Don't worry, little girl," CPU Green Heart croons, crushing you with all the divine force she can muster just as you're trying to get the air back into your lungs. "How did you get all the way down here in just a nightgown? Your parents must be worried sick!"

oh gOD NO, THAT GODDAMN NIGHTGOWN

"But it's okay! You don't need to be scared," she continues, shifting into some sort of Responsible Mature Functioning Member Of Society mode. "Big sister Vert is here to protect you from all the horrible monsters."

You desperately try to say something, ANYTHING, but given the logistics of having your fucking face mashed into marshmallow purgatory, your voice is muffled by a metric ton of useless goddamn meat- you can't even turn your head!

"Just hang on tight. I'll evacuate you to a safe zone."

Your struggles (to escape, to correct her goddamn delusions, to scream for help from Rokko and Exey, and to BREATHE) go completely ignored- CPU Green Heart apparently starts flying, the dusty warmth of the cavern giving way to a sharp breeze that bites at your exposed skin. That and your stomach doing acrobatics are the only indication you have that you're no longer on the ground, because you can't see a goddamn /thing/.

[ ] [STRUGGLE] Squirm around! Try to yell out to her! Communicate with her in some way! You can't just leave Rokko and Exey behind!
[ ] [THERAPIST] Try and get in contact with someone in range.
[ ] [DO NOTHING] Aside from the fact that you don't want to plummet to your death, you're morbidly curious: what the hell counts as a safe zone under these goddamn circumstances?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.41657825

>>41657791
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Try and get in contact with someone in range.
We'll be okay, probably.

>> No.41657841

>>41657791
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Try and get in contact with someone in range.

>> No.41657842

>>41657791
[SRUGGLE]

>> No.41657860

>>41657791
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Try and get in contact with someone in range.
Tell Rokko and them it seems we're getting an express lift to Mojang. Probably. Will try and maintain contact.
>[ ] [DO NOTHING] Aside from the fact that you don't want to plummet to your death, you're morbidly curious: what the hell counts as a safe zone under these goddamn circumstances?

>> No.41657867

>>41657791
>[X] [DO NOTHING] Aside from the fact that you don't want to plummet to your death, you're morbidly curious: what the hell counts as a safe zone under these goddamn circumstances?
Safe Zone = Mojang = Mission Objective.
[X] [THERAPIST] Try and get in contact with someone in range.
Try to coordinate their movements just at the edges of your range so they avoid Vert's rage but are ready for pickup when you figure out what's going on and get ready to fuck right off.

>> No.41657882

>>41657026
>>41657767
Immediately

>> No.41657981

>>41657791
>oh gOD NO, THAT GODDAMN NIGHTGOWN
We are putting our armor on first chance we get.

>> No.41658039

>>41657981
What about a cotton candy dress?

>> No.41658122

>>41657791
I can already see the part where Urist catches a glimpse at the ground far below them and instinctively cling tighter to Vert, triggering more 'Big Sister' flags her.

>> No.41658366

>>41657791
>Responsible Mature Functioning Member Of Society mode.
It's just a lie.

>> No.41658425

>>41658366
Could be worse, at least she's not Neptune.

>> No.41658483

>>41658425
She's no Blanc.

I felt a connection to her smoldering rage.

>> No.41658535

>>41658483
Imo the ranking is Noire > Blanc > Vert > Nep.
Though I like all of them.

>> No.41658668

>>41657791
[x] [THERAPIST]
Mojanggggg I'm coming!!!!

>> No.41658683

>>41657791

>Call Vert Big Sister

>> No.41658752

>>41658683
Won't work unless we do the moe voice

>> No.41658805

>>41658752
I don't think we can do that without vomiting

>> No.41658928 [SPOILER] 

>>41658683
It's like you want Vert to space out in big sister fantasies and have us both crash.

>> No.41658964

>>41658928
There isn't enough disgust in that face.

>> No.41658982

>>41658928

You found me out. But Vert is a solid second in my BestNepu rankings. (Number one is Noire. Not Black Heart. Just Noire.)

>> No.41658997

>>41658928
Of course, deep in the back of Verts mind, she knows she'll always be the little sister.

>> No.41659103

>>41657791
>[X] [DO NOTHING]
>[X] [THERAPIST]

You're not desperate enough to put up a struggle. For one thing, it'll come down to a strength contest between your puny little girl muscles and whatever divine musculature is needed to prevent CPU Green Heart's back from breaking underneath the strain of all that useless meat. Seriously, when Atlas shrugs, the Earth shifts; when Vert shrugs, Gamindustri residents suddenly become devoutly religious and immigration rates to Leanbox enjoy a small boost.

For another thing, given how the way things work in Gamindustri, anything you do will probably ~accidentally grope~ the goddess, and then you'll fall a trillion miles to your death at whatever ludicrous speed she's flying at right now, breaking every bone in your body and causing every single part to explode in a fountain of gore.

So, yeah. You save your breath and activate Therapist; again, Mojang's in range, but she's unconscious, so you connect to Rokko. After suffering through sort of screeching, whistling dial tone, you hear the Blue Bomber's voice.

"Urist. You remain unharmed?"

... y'know, you've gotten so used to hearing her stutter and static that their absence is a little disconcerting. You probably wouldn't have recognized Rokko's voice if not for that omnipresent deadpan. Maybe that's what she sounded like before it all started going wrong for her.

It's a nice voice.

Anyway, you tell her you're okay, with promises to update her once you've arrived at... wherever the hell it is you're going.

"Unacceptable. We will follow you as quickly as we can."

Wait, what?

"We will follow you. There is no guarantee that this Vert is not an impostor," she insists- and that reminder sends a chill down your spine.

You shake it off. No, you can- you can take care of yourself. If Vert's right about how Keeper's out and about looking for her, then it'd be better to stay hidden, right?

(Cont.)

>> No.41659130

>>41658982
Vert is my favorite (I'm probably the only one).

Noire certainly is pretty up there though.

>> No.41659156

>>41659103
There's a slight pause as Rokko mulls this over- apparently, she hadn't thought about this. Eventually: "Exey insists. We must follow you. Even the slightest possibility that you might fall into Arfoire's hands is unacceptable. However, we will be sure to remain under cover."

That's about all you have time for, because the world suddenly takes a few sideway lurches (WITHOUT any corresponding drops in speed) before coming to an abrupt stomach-flipping stop. Vert gently sets you down, giving you access to blessed air and letting you actually SEE things again, although to be perfectly honest, you'd have been a lot happier if the first thing you saw wasn't a goddess's goddamned cleavage.

"Here we are," CPU Green Heart says, stepping back. Now that she's no longer blocking your view, you're... well, you're in some sort of concrete bunker, and you're /probably/ still in Blood Gulch, given how quickly you arrived. A cursory glance around confirms it- the walls and floor are futuristic and reassuringly reinforced, meaning that you won't suddenly have to deal with monsters boiling up from beneath the earth. She wasn't kidding when she called this place a safe haven.

Not that you have time to comment on any of this, because Mojang's sprawled out on a bench in the corner.

You don't even REMEMBER making your way over to her side; one moment you're standing in front of Vert, the next moment you're checking your surrogate little sister for any horrible injuries or missing limbs or exploded body parts. The green parka'd redhead has definitely seen better days- she's covered in blackened powder (an aftereffect of exploding), more than you've ever seen before, and there are bags under her closed eyes, which is also a first for the cheery psychopath, and you swear to Armok that you are going to fucking MURDER whoever put her under so much stress-

(Cont.)

>> No.41659193

>>41659156
It takes all of your willpower not to brutalize whoever it is who just picked you up by the armpits and placed you aside. Probably a good thing, since it's Vert who's looking down at you with a sort of indulgent consternation. "Oh my. I must insist that you do not disturb my Mojang. She's sleeping off her injuries, you see."

As you look up into CPU Green Heart's eyes- up close, you notice some weird symbols in her pupils- Rokko's reminder rises to the forefront of your mind. You really, really hope she isn't a fake, but you just can't get a good READ on her expression or mannerisms or anything. Even the way she's looking down at you, calculating and cautious and every bit as wary as you are, probably because you just ran forward like an idiot-

"Out of curiosity, you wouldn't happen to be one of her friends, would you?"

[ ] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.
[ ] [LIE] Nope! No relation at all. You're just a big fan of Mojang, don'cha know.
[ ] [OBFUSCATE] Desperate times call for desperate measures. Act cute and stall for time.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.41659224

>>41659193
>[ ] [OBFUSCATE] Desperate times call for desperate measures. Act cute and stall for time.
Don't throw up

>> No.41659229

>>41659193
>[ ] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.

>> No.41659236

>>41659193
>[ ] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.
>[ ] [Stare at her eyes]

>> No.41659239

>>41659193
>[X] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.
>[X] [WRITE-IN] Change into Armor. Strike a pose. A dwarfly pose.

>> No.41659270

>>41659193
>[ ] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.
Probably okay.

>> No.41659299

>>41659193
>[ ] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.

>> No.41659395

>>41659193
>[x] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.

I'm her ...sister. Slightly older more responsible sister.

>> No.41659434

>>41659193
>We stir Mojang from her slumber
>Her tired eyes look at us, but she can't tell if real Urist or fake
>Asks Urist to prove it by doing that thing we do to calm her down
>Urist has to do THAT in front of Vert(?)
I can only imagine Verts face at that moment

>> No.41659437

>>41659193
>[ ] [TRUTH] You're Urist Twelfthbay, and you ARE Mojang's friend. If Vert will let you wake her up, you can prove it.

[ ]Drink beer.

>> No.41659457

>>41659434
This must happen.
It has to.

>> No.41659470

>>41659395
>Vert 'adopts' us too
>Dyes Mojang and our hair blond
>Makes us wear green dresses

>> No.41659593

>>41659193
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Treat Mojang's injuries as best we can. We came here to make sure she's safe. Everything else comes second.

>> No.41659604

>>41659193
>[] truth

>> No.41659770

>>41657791
>Vert, put us down this instant!
>We are not cute and fluffy!
>We are Dwarf Fortress!
>We are miasma and death!

>> No.41659851

>>41659470
>Urist keeps demanding to know where Vert got Blade Weed.

>> No.41659868

>>41659770
kek

>> No.41659963

>>41659851
>Urist keeps rejecting being Vert's little sister until she takes a drink of beer
>Vert offers royal wine or somesuch
>Urist instantly signs adoption papers.

>> No.41659980

>>41659770
>Rokko activates Urist_In_a_Cave.webm

>> No.41660069

>>41659980
>Urist (anthropomorphic personification) has forbidden the export of embarrassing videos.

>> No.41660204

>>41659193
>Change into armor

>> No.41660278

>>41660204
>Urist was then directed to 'change into armor'
>In the future, orders to soldiers are to be made clearer.
>Would a wizard with polymorph prepared please report to bunker 32A.

>> No.41660297

>>41659193
>[X] [TRUTH]

Y'know what? Screw it. If the Vert standing before you is fake or actually Arfoire in disguise, then you're pretty much screwed no matter what you do. If you're gonna die a horrible death, then you're gonna die a horrible death like a dwarf: screaming, on fire, and running headfirst toward danger.

Right. So, truth it is.

You are not a little girl. You are Urist Twelfthbay, a moe personification just like Mojang and an adventurer in your own goddamn right! You're Mojang's senior and surrogate big sister-

"YOU are Mojang's big sister?"

Funny how five simple words make you snap harder than anything you've heard thus far.

You straighten yourself up to your full height, square your shoulders, and face down a goddess with the gruffest, most dwarven voice possible- hell YES you are! YOU stuck by Mojang before it was cool! YOU taught the dumbass everything she knows, starting from the goddamn moment she stumbled out from the goddamned wilderness! If it turns out that Vert was the one who caused Mojang all this pain, you're gonna kick her fucking ass to the-

"I understand."

You trail off. CPU Green Heart is smiling softly, looking down at you with- well, it's a different warm smile from when she thought you were nothing more than a little girl.

"If one such as you is Mojang's big sister, and the one she's been speaking so highly of, then I suppose she will be in good hands," Vert continues in a surprisingly serious tone of voice, crossing her arms under her chest. "And seeing how strongly you feel for her well-being, I have little reason to believe otherwise."

... right. So Vert isn't going to blast you into oblivion or something, right?

"Of course I won't. However, I apologize; I cannot simply let you go."

(Cont.)

>> No.41660307

>>41660297
You tense up as the divine personification of all things Xbox stares down at you, a frown creasing her delicate features. Right. Figured it wouldn't be that easy to get Mojang out of here, now that you know Vert's little hiding place and whatnot-

"You are far too adorable to let go!" CPU Green Heart thunders sternly, suddenly kneeling down in front of you with that same goddamn serious look on her face. "It's simply unfair! How can you be a big sister figure and a little sister figure at the same time? And with a foul mouth like that! Such a contrast to your adorable looks and your sense of responsibility! Is this moe? Is this what mortals call gap moe? Is this what CPU White Heart was aiming for all along?"

What the HELL-

"Please, you must allow me to be Mojang's big sister figure as well! And above all, you must allow me to be as a big sister to you!" CPU Green Heart sets her hands on your shoulders, pinning you in place. "Aaah, to be a big sister to a little sister who considers herself a big sister... this can't be anything but the best sort of inception! This-"

A higher-pitched voice cuts her off- some pig-faced (pig-masked?) girl's standing there, and you don't even remember seeing her muscle in between you and Mojang. "(´・ω・`) Lady Vert, Lady Vert, please calm down! You're bothering the patient that Ran-Ran is trying to tend to!"

(Cont.)

>> No.41660333

>>41660307
> Is this moe?
Lost it.

>> No.41660342

>>41660307
CPU Green Heart stands back up, clearing her throat. "Ah... I'm sorry. I appear to have gotten carried away."

No kidding. So, uh. How IS she?

The pig(?) girl's expression doesn't change from its (´・ω・`) when she turns to face you, seemingly taking your presence here for granted. "(´・ω・`) Ran-Ran thinks she's stable, but she's been through a lot."

Vert looks down at her protege, heaving a small sigh. "That makes sense. We don't know what Arfoire and her goons did to Mojang, but it could not have been pleasant. Still... thank you, Ran-Ran."

"If only Ran-Ran had more supplies from the Basilicom, Mojang would be up and ready to move by now..."

[ ] [FETCH QUEST] Mojang's well-being comes first. You'll meet back up with Rokko and Exey, grab whatever meds she needs, and get them here as soon as possible.
[ ] [OKAY SERIOUSLY] You need answers to a LOT of questions from Vert. What's going on with her country? Why'd she demolish Blanc? What's with the Red Ring of Death?
[ ] [GOTTA MOVE] You guys can't stay here. It maybe a safe haven for now, but you and your friends couldn't have been the only ones to see Vert and Mojang make for this place- like Keeper, or Myrra, or their master.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.41660376

>>41660342
>[ ] [FETCH QUEST] Mojang's well-being comes first. You'll meet back up with Rokko and Exey, grab whatever meds she needs, and get them here as soon as possible.
>[ ] [OKAY SERIOUSLY] You need answers to a LOT of questions from Vert. What's going on with her country? Why'd she demolish Blanc? What's with the Red Ring of Death?
Questions then missions.

>> No.41660377

>>41660342
>
[ ] [OKAY SERIOUSLY] You need answers to a LOT of questions from Vert. What's going on with her country? Why'd she demolish Blanc? What's with the Red Ring of Death?
>[ ] [GOTTA MOVE] You guys can't stay here. It maybe a safe haven for now, but you and your friends couldn't have been the only ones to see Vert and Mojang make for this place- like Keeper, or Myrra, or their master.
>[ ] [FETCH QUEST] Mojang's well-being comes first. You'll meet back up with Rokko and Exey, grab whatever meds she needs, and get them here as soon as possible.
>Ask if we agree to becoming her little sister if we can get free booze.

>> No.41660384

>>41660342
[ ] [OKAY SERIOUSLY] You need answers to a LOT of questions from Vert. What's going on with her country? Why'd she demolish Blanc? What's with the Red Ring of Death?
[ ] [GOTTA MOVE] You guys can't stay here. It maybe a safe haven for now, but you and your friends couldn't have been the only ones to see Vert and Mojang make for this place- like Keeper, or Myrra, or their master.

>> No.41660391

>>41660342
>[ ] [FETCH QUEST] Mojang's well-being comes first. You'll meet back up with Rokko and Exey, grab whatever meds she needs, and get them here as soon as possible.

>> No.41660393

>>41660342
>[X] [WRITE-IN]
Summon a medical dwarf, they can fix anything up to and incuding liquified organs!

>> No.41660397

>>41660342
>(´・ω・`)
Leave Denko alone you bastard

>> No.41660401

>>41660069
Urist needs to be caught singing diggy diggy hole on camera, then accidentally turn into a pop idol overnight

>Urist singing goes on MoeTube
>Instant hit, #1 video in hours
>Urist on the street, stopped by random passerbys wanting autographs
>Confused by dwarfy fashion cropping up out of nowhere
>thinks she hears a familiar tune, shakes it off
>Gets home (or wherever), catches Mojang watching video
>Spots viewer count
>doors burst open with fans & reporters
>[email protected] shoving contracts in Urist's face
>Urist spends a week in the deepest hole she can dig out of embarrassment and shame

>> No.41660417

>>41660401
>MoeTube
>Not NepTube
N-chan and Neppit are actual things in Gamindustri

>> No.41660419

>>41660342
>[ ] [GOTTA MOVE] You guys can't stay here. It maybe a safe haven for now, but you and your friends couldn't have been the only ones to see Vert and Mojang make for this place- like Keeper, or Myrra, or their master.

>> No.41660432

>>41660417
>N-chan and Neppit are actual things in Gamindustri
Somehow I'm not surprised that Neptune has cornered the Gamindustri market on shitposting.

>> No.41660434

>>41660342
>[ ] [OKAY SERIOUSLY] You need answers to a LOT of questions from Vert. What's going on with her country? Why'd she demolish Blanc? What's with the Red Ring of Death?
>>[ ] [FETCH QUEST] Mojang's well-being comes first. You'll meet back up with Rokko and Exey, grab whatever meds she needs, and get them here as soon as possible.
Answers then Mojang.

>> No.41660447

>>41660417
>Neppit
more like airheadit
huehuehuheuheuheueu

>> No.41660449

>>41660432

>> No.41660451

>>41660419
You might say we... gotta go fast?

>> No.41660467

>>41660342
>[ASSEMBLE] use therapist and call everyone, even big sis.

>> No.41660524

>>41660307
Fucking lost it.

>>41660342
>[ ] [FETCH QUEST] Mojang's well-being comes first. You'll meet back up with Rokko and Exey, grab whatever meds she needs, and get them here as soon as possib
>[ ] [GOTTA MOVE] You guys can't stay here. It maybe a safe haven for now, but you and your friends couldn't have been the only ones to see Vert and Mojang make for this place- like Keeper, or Myrra, or their master.

>> No.41660532

>>41660342
>FETCH QUEST
>THERAPIST
>DRINK ALCOHOL
>REFUSE BEING VERT'S LITTLE SISTER, BECAUSE WE ARE ESTELLE'S

>> No.41660538

>>41660432
>>41660449

>> No.41660607

>>41660538
>NISA's translation
not even once

>> No.41660620

OKAY so it's basically a three way tie between all the options, so I guess WE'RE DOING ALL THE THINGS (although I'll probably have to throw in another choice set halfway through for reasons)!

Writing!

>> No.41660627

>>41660532
...vert and Estelle fight for urists attention...like they're trying to court her

>> No.41660658

>>41660532
>>41660627
>Not having both as big sisters

>> No.41660724

>>41660658
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

>> No.41660738

>>41660658
>>41660724
If they're both big sisters, then one of them has to be the other's little sister.

Their battle to determine which will shatter the world.

>> No.41660884

>>41660658
But we already have a big sis.

>> No.41660968

>>41660884
What? A person can't have more than one big sis?

>> No.41661016

>>41660968
It will create more anime moe bullshit shenanigans.

...okay, it's actually what we aspire, but we must be faithful to our big sis and not sis-NTR her, even if a new big sis is a goddess.

>> No.41661070

>>41661016
>not creating a scenario where Estelle has to overcome insurmountable odds to proclaim herself the Big Sister of Dorf Fort-chan, becoming a complete fucking legend in the process

>> No.41661087

>>41661016
I don't really see how it would become 'sister NTR'.

If anything, Vert and Estelle would come to an arrangement of being equal level sisters in a United quest for gathering little sisters.

>> No.41661126

>>41661070
And showing up SMT and Persona by being the first adventurer to solo a Goddess.

>> No.41661139

I thought it was only Estelle doing the whole little sister collecting thing, but now that apparently Vert is as well, I'm wondering how many more of these freaks are going to pop up.

At least it's only the one goddess who's gone little sister crazy. Or maybe all the other goddesses have their own little sisters that they have been keeping secret from Gamindustri at large, but that's just ridiculous... right?

>> No.41661177

>>41661139
Vert is the only one who canonically is like that. The rest have little sisters, in the case of Blanc, two of them.

>> No.41661180

>>41661139
every goddess except Vert has a little sister(s)

>> No.41661196

>>41661139
Well, Blorp has said on the Ask.fm that the Sister Candidates don't exist in this dimension yet.

>> No.41661396

>>41661196

then clearly moejang and urist are the reason they come into being. All except for poor vert.

>> No.41661507

>>41661396
Partially why I kinda want to be Vert's pseudo little sister (along with Mojang)

>"W-well you're not the only one to have two little sisters Blanc!"

>> No.41661524

>>41661177
So by having ACTUAL little sisters, they are not at all insecure in their big sisterness?

>> No.41661558

>>41661524
Neptune is lazy and lets Nepgear do all the work.
Blanc loves and is pestered by Ram and Rom.
Uni wants Noire to notice her.

>> No.41661573

so... i wanna play a nep-nep's games. Which should played first? is there any games on pc?

>> No.41661579

>>41661573
Rebirth 1.

>> No.41661582

>>41661573
If you have steam you can get HDN Rebirth 1 and 2. Play through 1 first.

>> No.41661597

>>41661573
The first two are on steam (Re;Birth 1 & 2). And third latter this year. I think.

>> No.41661617

>>41661573
Good timing! Re;Birth 1 is on the weekly Humble Bundle for just $10 right now, so you don't have to wait for a steam sale.

>> No.41661629

>>41661597

Looks like it.

If you are patient, you can catch them on sale too.

Or

>>41661617

>> No.41661700

>>41661573
>is there any games on pc?
There is. About thirty minutes into the game, when all the goddesses are together for the first time, the moe personification of PC gaming descends and kills them all. She then enslaves the inhabitants of Gamindustri and has them toil for the Glorious PC Reich.

Game of the year, of all years.

>> No.41661737

>>41661700
/v/, please go back to your pit.

>> No.41661777

So what's the deal with the pig?

>> No.41661852

Blorp, Watch Dogs-chan when?

>> No.41661979

>>41661597
>>41661617
>>41661573

Be warned, though. The mechanics are a horrible mishmash of genres and there's a good chance that the unwieldly interface might just tear your brain a new one... but I'm bothered by these things so take my advice with a pinch of salt.

Other than that, it's fairly enjoyable and Vert's Verts are glorious.

>> No.41662008

>>41660342
>[X] [OKAY SERIOUSLY]
>[X] [GOTTA MOVE]
>[X] [FETCH QUEST] (after the jump!)

For a few minutes, you watch Ran-Ran tend to Mojang, while Vert (in Responsible Mature Functioning Member Of Society mode again) hovers over the both of them. No question about it- you've finally found Mojang, so you're sticking right by her side. She's the first friend you've had in this world, and in a place like Gamindustri (AND with how you were when you started out), that counts for a /lot/.

Thing is, your original plan was to slip into Leanbox, grab Mojang, and get the hell out of dodge. Her injuries throw a wrench into that plan. You're pretty sure that Vert would NOT be willing to leave her country (the captain goes down with the ship, after all) OR leave Mojang in your hands. The same goes for Exey and her VTOL aircraft; even if it could reliably cart around injured people without fucking them up more, she'd probably just drop you off at Maia's home anyway. And while Rokko could carry Mojang without any problems, it'd only exacerbate your little sister's injuries and leave the Blue Bomber a sitting duck...

You shake your head. /Fuck/ thinking. First things first, you need a handle on this entire horrible situation, and you think you know where to start.

Not surprisingly, Vert- still in her HDD form- looks a little downcast when you approach her with a bunch of questions regarding why her country's going down the shitter. "That's an awfully harsh way to put it, is it not?"

Just calling it like you see it, Lady Vert.

She heaves another sigh, causing considerable movement in outlying regions. "Well, I suppose I have not done anything to spark very much confidence in you. And as Mojang's big sister, I suppose you deserve an explanation."

(Cont.)

>> No.41662026

>>41662008
CPU Green Heart sits down next to Mojang, and she finally- FINALLY- starts to talk. "The chances are high that much of what you saw was Arfoire's doing. I don't know when she copied my abilities, but she disguised herself as me on numerous occasions."

Vert splays a hand against her chest "As CPU Green Heart, or simply as Vert, she appeared where I was not, effecting changes to my own nation and its policies from right under my nose. She was the one who lured Mojang into a trap, blocked communication networks except for certain feeds, and began swaying certain adventurers to do certain tasks in Leanbox's name- subtle things that would not seem amiss, but which worked against my nation's interests in the long run."

... right. That /does/ help explain why Elda was so dead-set on bringing you in. And how someone's goddamn smartphone was able to beam out a deathmatch between two goddesses from INSIDE Leanbox.

"Among other things. Arfoire even allowed rumors of her reappearance to circulate- that was how I was eventually locked out of my own Basilicom. Sowing discord and confusion, and splitting entire nations from within by mimicking their goddesses at precisely the worst moments: this is what caused CPU White Heart to act out in frenzied paranoia, back when Arfoire's appearance sparked the last Console War." CPU Green Heart's features hardens. "This time, however, I had my own contingency plans for such a situation. I would like to think that the other goddesses have their own preparations in place, as well."

She glances down at Mojang, and her expression softens. "Not that it was nearly enough to prevent things like this from happening," Vert murmurs, stroking Mojang's hair.

You resist the urge to do the same. Okay. While you're on the subject of CPU White Heart-

Vert cuts you off. "The one I defeated was a fake, as clear as day," she says flatly.

The hell? How is she so sure of that?

(Cont.)

>> No.41662042

>>41662026
"Now that we know Arfoire is active again, it is simply a matter of keeping an eye open," she states primly. "Clones conjured up by Arfoire are weaker and far less stable than the real thing, and this Blanc was far angrier than normal- and you saw how quickly I disposed of her. Besides, CPU White Heart had no reason to be in Leanbox at that time."

... Vert DOES know that Blanc went in to talk with her about those outcast adventurers who're probably working for Arfoire, right?

"Yes. We'd finished talking about it long before I was attacked by one wearing her face. I will be informing the rest of Gamindustri about this, once I dispose of Arfoire's interference with the Red Ring of Death."

You spend about half a second filled with relief (hooray, no fucking grounds for a Console War!) before realizing what this means for your big sis- who came INTO Leanbox to save that very same Blanc. With a thought, you activate Therapist and try to get into contact with Estelle-

No dice. She's out of range.

Goddammit.

"Is something the matter, Urist?"

No. It's- it's nothing. (Nothing that can't be fixed by running out and looking for Estelle's damn fool hide, you think to yourself privately). Anyway. Red Ring of Death? That big honking halo circling above Leanbox, ticking down like a clock?

Vert smiles calmly, pressing a finger to her lips conspiratorially. "Let's just say it's one of the contingency plans that I spent many years working on, and a delaying tactic. Once it activates, Arfoire will cease to be a problem for a little while- enough time to alert the rest of Gamindustri, gather our collective wits, and prepare for her reappearance."

Chances of being tampered with?

"Zero," CPU Green Heart counters. "It's less a machine and more an expression of my power, so I would know immediately if anyone even approaches it."

... silently, you have to admit (rather grudgingly) that CPU Green Heart's really damn dependable when she wants to be.

(Cont.)

>> No.41662056

>>41662042
Vert stands up, facing the doorway with a frown; in a small burst of pixelated fragments, her spear reappears. "Speaking of which, we appear to have visitors." At almost exactly the same moment, you hear Rokko's voice inside your head, quietly telling you that both she, Exey, and Shovel Knight are in position, ready to break open the bunker and wreck the fake Vert's shit-

Nobody attack or wreck ANYONE'S shit!, you all but shout. Vert's good! And those're your friends over there, so don't stab them inside out!!

... a few minutes later, the bunker is /definitely/ starting to feel crowded.

"Lady Vert," Shovel Knight exults, going down on one knee in front of the goddess. "I offer you my shovel. I regret that we had to meet in such troubled times, but-"

"Please, no need for such formality! Although I must admit that it IS quite nostalgic," Vert chuckles warmly.

"I've seen this before," Exey murmurs, conferring quietly with Ran-Ran. "While much of it IS exhaustion, we need something to purge whatever corruption still lingers in her code. The Basilicom is unreachable, but there might be something nearby-"

"A s-specific, medicine only f-found within. Certain ruins," Rokko grinds out in her usual deadpan. "That's the. Usual pattern. Correct?"

"(´・ω・`) Right on the money, says Ran-Ran," says... well, Ran-Ran. "It's suspiciously convenient!"

"Certain supplies do tend to spawn in the ruins around this area," adds Vert, having detached herself from Shovel Knight's conversation. "That's part of the reason why I chose this location as a backup in the first place."

That's the opening you've been hoping for (based Blue Bomber), so you jump right the fuck in. If Mojang needs her medicine to be able to move around, you'll gladly get right up in there and grab 'em for her.

(Cont.)

>> No.41662076

>>41662056
"Going on the move again...?" Exey looks a bit uneasy at this- she was /just/ starting to relax, although you can't help but notice how she keeps something between herself and the doorway at all times. "Must we, really?"

"C-Chances of someone else calculating, Lady Vert's location are high," Rokko stutters. "We found her. We must assume that, others are able to as well."

CPU Green Heart folds her arms beneath her chest again. Maybe that's her default stance or something. "That's right. This isn't the only backup bunker I have available right now; my original plan was to stop by long enough for Ran-Ran to diagnose Mojang, and then relocate. I can't guard her and find medicine for her at the same time, so...

"Urist," she finishes, turning to you. "Thank you for volunteering. We'll need someone to go dungeon-diving with you, and someone to relocate to a different bunker while safeguarding Mojang-"

(Cont.)

>> No.41662091

>>41662076
The bunker feels really damn small with so many people crammed into it, and it feels smaller yet when everyone speaks up at once, volunteering for this or that.

Really, the biggest thing is that you can't have gigantic groups running around and dungeon-crawling, so right off the bat, you all mostly agree that you ought to just bring /one/ person with you to dungeon-dive. Eventually, you settle on a handful of plans:

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [BRING VERT] No kill like overkill, right? Vert can fly you to and from the dungeon, blast you through everything, and be back lickety-split, although a goddess flying around IS noticeable, so you might bump into some unwelcome resistance. Everyone else who's left behind are all capable of relocating just as quickly.
[ ] [BRING EXEY] While Exey's VTOL isn't exactly stealthy, travel will be fast, though you don't know how quickly you'll clear the dungeon. With Vert back at base, and Shovel Knight to dig right through to the alternate bunkers, base relocation will be middlingly fast- but much safer, at least.
[ ] [BRING ROKKO] Her Rush Jet will get you there faster than walking, but you'll clear through the dungeon easily with a veteran by your side- just so long as she doesn't break down. Between Exey and Vert at base, relocation will be fast and safe.
[ ] [BRING SHOVEL KNIGHT] A solid fighter and a stalwart ally- she won't get you to or from (or THROUGH) the dungeon all that fast, but it's the stealthiest option you've got. Between Vert, Exey, and Rokko- all fast travelers and primed for battle- you won't have anything to worry about back home, at least.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>> No.41662123

>>41662091
>[ ] [BRING SHOVEL KNIGHT] A solid fighter and a stalwart ally- she won't get you to or from (or THROUGH) the dungeon all that fast, but it's the stealthiest option you've got. Between Vert, Exey, and Rokko- all fast travelers and primed for battle- you won't have anything to worry about back home, at least.

We should also breif Rokko on the fake White Heart, so that if Estelle makes contact with them there's someone she knows to explain to her.

>> No.41662148

>>41662091
>Bring everybody, including Mojang with us to whatever ruins.
>Faster we wipe out whatever is there, the faster we can get Mojang up.

>Take a peek at Mojang's code with DF Hack while we're at it.

>> No.41662159

>>41662091
[]BRING SHOVEL KNIGHT

TIME FOR SHOVELRY

>> No.41662180

>>41662091
>[X] [BRING ROKKO] Her Rush Jet will get you there faster than walking, but you'll clear through the dungeon easily with a veteran by your side- just so long as she doesn't break down. Between Exey and Vert at base, relocation will be fast and safe.
Because you said "clear a dungeon." And while we'll help Mojang, if Rokko can grab a treasure cube, it'll help her, too.

Also, it'll make Exey crazy that we're leaving her on relocation duty. But depending on what research she's completed, she should be able to set it up to spot anyone else trying to locate the new base well in advance of their arrival.

>> No.41662210

>>41662091
[X] [BRING SHOVEL KNIGHT] A solid fighter and a stalwart ally- she won't get you to or from (or THROUGH) the dungeon all that fast, but it's the stealthiest option you've got. Between Vert, Exey, and Rokko- all fast travelers and primed for battle- you won't have anything to worry about back home, at least.
As long as we don't run into (too much) trouble we don't need to be that fast.

>> No.41662226

>>41662123
I'll pop that in! Although communications are pretty jammed in Leanbox right now.

>>41662180
Actually, Exey is, for the most part, perfectly completely fine with relocation duty! She's less of a hands-on adventurer than you might think.

As to what research she's completed, that remains to be seen.

>> No.41662248

>>41662226
>Actually, Exey is, for the most part, perfectly completely fine with relocation duty! She's less of a hands-on adventurer than you might think.
So, she refused to let us out of her sight, and was annoyed at every single delay in her original mission, but now she's totally okay with it?

She must see this as a terror mission if she's so willing to avoid it.

>> No.41662280

>>41662226
Overwhelming firepower speedrun isn't an option?

>> No.41662285

>>41662091
>[X] [BRING SHOVEL KNIGHT] A solid fighter and a stalwart ally- she won't get you to or from (or THROUGH) the dungeon all that fast, but it's the stealthiest option you've got. Between Vert, Exey, and Rokko- all fast travelers and primed for battle- you won't have anything to worry about back home, at least.
Hell yeah, side quest with our digga bro!

>> No.41662296

>>41662091
[CODE] POKE THE MOJANG's CODE.

>> No.41662300

>>41662248
Well, "for the most part" depends on who else is eventually chosen to go with Urist!

>>41662280
It's a write-in-able option! Having Vert along technically qualifies, too.

>> No.41662360

>>41662226
I meant makes contact in-person, this way there would be one person Estelle knows in each group -- but I had forgotten about communications being jammed.

Also, why was Ein in therapist range a few threads back, wasn't she going to Lastation? OR WAS THAT ARFOIRE IN DISGUISE AT THE BAR?

>> No.41662395

>>41662360
About Ein, implying Ein was ever going back to Lastation in the first place, just because she mentioned Lastation to Dark Souls

>> No.41662408

>>41662091
>[x] [BRING SHOVEL KNIGHT] A solid fighter and a stalwart ally- she won't get you to or from (or THROUGH) the dungeon all that fast, but it's the stealthiest option you've got. Between Vert, Exey, and Rokko- all fast travelers and primed for battle- you won't have anything to worry about back home, at least.
We shall call the dynamic duo, Grave Diggers!

>> No.41662462

>>41662296
This

>> No.41662491

Okay, looks like bringing Shovel Knight along takes the vote! I'm going to have to stop here for the night, though, because holy shit look at the time.

I'm not sure when the next thread will be, since I'm not sure I'll be able to run it in the next week; I'll put up a notice on https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest as usual! Best case scenario is that I manage to run one thread next week, worst case is that I won't be able to until after the 11th. Questions, as usual, can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest/ (and I'll get to that last one or two soon enough, promise)!

Anyway, apologies for the string of cancellations last week, and I hope you all enjoyed the thread; thanks for swinging by!

***

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE because I promised some bonus stuff and all I have to offer (other than my firstborn child and/or internal organs) is writefaggotry. SO LET'S SEE...

>CHOOSE ONE BONUS SCENE
[ ] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]
[ ] [PAST: ESTELLE & EIN]
[ ] [PAST: KEEPER & ???]
[ ] [PAST: ROKKO & FAMILY]
[ ] [PRESENT: IFFY'S LIFE IS SUFFERING]
[ ] [WRITE-IN: WILD CARD] Choose a game series that either hasn't been seen in-quest yet or has barely been seen, and I'll cook something up!

If there aren't people left to vote (because that last update was like 10k characters over two hours), I'll try again next thread!

>> No.41662501

>>41662491
>[X] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]

>> No.41662513

[ ] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]

>> No.41662523

>>41662491
>[ ] [PAST: ROKKO & FAMILY]

>> No.41662532

>>41662491
[ ] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]

>> No.41662546

>>41662491
>[x] [PAST: ROKKO & FAMILY]

>> No.41662551

>>41662491
>[ ] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]

>> No.41662610

>>41662491
>[ ] [PRESENT: IFFY'S LIFE IS SUFFERING]
>[ ] [WRITE-IN: WILD CARD] Choose a game series that either hasn't been seen in-quest yet or has barely been seen, and I'll cook something up!

I gotta piss in the tide, man, also Iffy make me Kreygasm.

Oh, and I'd love for another series to pop in. For hilarity's sake, let's make it the Hamtaro games.

>> No.41662636

>>41662491
>[X] [WRITE-IN: WILD CARD] Choose a game series that either hasn't been seen in-quest yet or has barely been seen, and I'll cook something up!

You know what, I'll change my vote from Urist & Mojang to a write-in. I wanna see how King's Quest is doing.

>> No.41662724

>>41662491
>[ ] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]

Need more moe in my life.

>> No.41662729

>>41662491
>[ ] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]

>> No.41663084

I wonder how would Urist react if Red got ahold of her.
Being called a little sister already miffles her. Being called a wifey? Oh boy.

>> No.41664060

>>41662491
[x] PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something

don't give up, Blorp!

>> No.41664329

>>41662491
>[ ] [PAST: ROKKO & FAMILY]
hard choice as usual

>> No.41666023

>>41662491
>[ ] [PAST: URIST & MOJANG part 3 or something]

>> No.41666251

>>41662491
>[ ] [PRESENT: IFFY'S LIFE IS SUFFERING]
I feel when we meet her eventually, we gotta get the girl a stiff drink.

>> No.41666816

Who's Iffy?

>> No.41667693

>>41666816
IF, she's a character from the main games

>>
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