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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.41024472 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Stop talking. No one cares what a filthy animal has to say. Dirty humans...

>> No.41024486

God, babe, you know I've always found your dominatrix act hot.

>> No.41024494


>> No.41024502

Whatever, say that next time you come up to me after a battle and expect a heal.

Ungrateful bitch, can't believe I rubbed one out while thinkin' of you nude.

>> No.41024527

Bitch I'm about to impale you with my draconic tail , fuck all my wives are/were humans too, you're doubly fucked!

>> No.41024531

Yes! Typical humans... Go back to your strip malls, where values are king!

>> No.41024698

So you're into zoophilia ?

>> No.41024770

Anon knows what's up.

Spit in my mouth next, princess!

>> No.41024789

>Yes! Typical humans... Go back to your strip malls, where values are king!

>Around gnomes, you'll lose your homes

>> No.41024828


>> No.41024831

Young Lady, I was just trying to assist you! And I may be an animal but I assure you that my hygiene is top notch! And your racist attitude has no place in my shop! I must ask you to leave immediately as I refuse to tolerate your presence any longer!

>> No.41024840

But you elves are all about being in-tune with nature and according to the druids part of doing that is talking to animals.

>> No.41024851


>Talking Owl Shopkeeper

Stolen for my game.

>> No.41024863

Is this the new elf slave what do?

>> No.41024965

Oi bitch, I ain't even human. I'm three goblin in a fooken trench coat.

>> No.41025002


Whatever, at least I'm not the one with the severely varicose veins, grandma...

>> No.41025017

pick 1

>> No.41025026

Those are the folds of her glove I think

>> No.41025054

Have elves ever been known for leatherwork?

>> No.41025068

Birch are you for fucking real.

>> No.41025080


>> No.41025102

>tfw no tsundere elf ladyknight gf that treats you as an animal at first, later on treats you like her pet and finally moves on to treating you like her princess

Only if it's followed up with handholding and tender embraces

>> No.41025105

Thank man! Get your kinswoman in line.

>> No.41025128

Look further up, unless her veins are so pronounced / the glove is thin as fuck

It's the glove

Damn straight

>> No.41025352

These threads aren't played out?
Have you tried demonizing dwarves yet?

>> No.41025434

Elf detected

>> No.41025460

methinks thats a seam in the cloth

>> No.41025499

I'd take an elf over a halfling any day.

>> No.41025548

Best Queens Blade.

>> No.41026988

Enough, sister! He's going to be your brother-in-law whether you like it or not.

>> No.41027014

>all those belts
Japan please.

>> No.41027050

>elf popularity on the rise

>> No.41027061


Around elves, watch yourselves.

>> No.41027251

Because they're coming for your ass.

>> No.41027328

That's it, I am divorcing you and gonna take the kids with me, you would just corrupt them.

>> No.41027335

>Implying any divorce court would side with a human male
Enjoy paying alimony and shit visitation rights, bitch.

>> No.41027399

This just in! Another elf shot dead in a warzone moments after saving a mercenary group. When asked why they would shoot their savior, the group replied "She insulted us in front of Charles and David, and they've always hated the knife-ears. I didn't really want to see her die, but you have to wonder how stupid you have to be to think that could ever be a good idea. It's like saying orcs smell like shit in the middle of their mudhut village or whatever."

>> No.41027503

Wait until I show my lawyer all the things she said AND did to me and the kids.
She can keep my stuff, let me just take my kids with me.

>> No.41028301

I am sure your anorexic bitch arms and faggot rapier with heater are marks of a master warrior. Young human girls have more muscle tone then you elf. Your pathetic mewings are the cries of a conquered people. Bow before your round eared betters.

>> No.41028400

Strap != Belt

>> No.41028465

And yet you cared enough to inform me of that. You're so adorable when you're condescending.

But that's enough frivolities. Let's move on, there are demons to kill.

>> No.41028763

If you're going to insult someone in common, you should really try to master the language first, at least well enough to know when you're making a sexual pun.

This is your daily reminder that when Mr. Wednesday discovered Elves and Dwarves, he seperated them by whether they were greedy and wicked or not, and gave the greedy ones ugly dwarf bodies so everyone would know what assholes they were.

>> No.41028951

Since humans in most fantasy settings seem to be bigger than elves, do you think the average human has a bigger dick than the average male elf?

>> No.41028992

>Since humans in most fantasy settings seem to be bigger than elves
Wait what?

>> No.41029031

size of a species does not automatically correlate to the size of its penis
a Gorilla has a much smaller penis than a human, and the humble duck has a dick the length of its own body.

That said, everyone knows there's no such thing as male elves, they reproduce through spores

>> No.41029388

Joke's on you, Sylvain, for I am not the human you're tsundere for.
I am actually-
>remove false face
Race in Anima: Beyond fantasy that can steal people's identities by wearing bits of their skin on their face, for those not in the know.

>> No.41029985

>Dexterity based combatants talking shit
They never learn.

>> No.41030444


You thought it was your human, but it was really me, D`Anjayni!!!

>> No.41030489

puny elves! Not even good as food.

>> No.41030532


Its okay, love, we both know that I can handle a tsundere.

>> No.41030706

Alright, enough's enough. You pulled this kind of shit when we were captured by bandits and got raped for it, you did it again when we were sent to deal with that group of orcs and got raped by them, then *somehow* you managed to piss off that necromancer in just the right way to have him rape you with skeletons rather than just kill you. Now here we are with you talking shit once again and the rogue's trying to convince the bard and fighter that you deserve to be gang raped. Are you TRYING to get raped again? Is everything just one big rape fantasy in the making for you?

>> No.41030762

This meme has become dull.

>> No.41030799

By Jove, D'Anjayni, we thought you perished in the fire at the mansion so many years ago!

>> No.41030814

Not that I disagree, but when has that stopped anyone before?

>> No.41031031

And here we see the classic spoiled noble equivalent of a human's redneck.

Bitch could you stop embarrassing the rest of us with your xenophobia? That'd be real nice. You wanna know why whenever you show up, the entire party stops talking? It sure as hell isn't out of respect. We shut up because no one wants to fucking talk to you and your downer ass that still hasn't clued in to how the real world works outside of daddy's estate.

No one likes you. Not other elves who shoved you onto us in the first place, not the dragon, not the dwarves at that inn who you talked the beards off of, not the kitsune with the gumiho cousin, not the dryad who you near ranted on about 'proper order', and even the god damn bard loathes you.

Holy shit.

>> No.41031124


And now you know better, JYOJYO!

Yes, I, D'Anjayni, survived that fateful day. I can hear you wondering - 'How, D'Anjayni? How did you live through such a terrible fire?'

It was hatred that kept me going, Jyoooojyoo! My hatred was strong enough to overpower even flames! My hatred of you, and all that you have, sustained me through the black smoke!




>> No.41031153

Japan has shit taste as a racial ability

>> No.41031158

>>not manhandling an elven girl into sex daily when she's used to it once a decade

>> No.41031164

please provide a source kind anon

>> No.41031239

Fuck the sad panda.

Humungous tits elves are another thing that piss me of, and I'm not even a fan of DFC.

>> No.41031260


>> No.41031280

What is this, an elf for ants?

>> No.41031289

How did you say that with my dick in your mouth?

>> No.41031341

Ellen DeGeneres?

>> No.41031350 [SPOILER] 

Thank you.

>> No.41031357

You must be a joyless person.

>> No.41031379

Happy to help, anon.

>> No.41031417


Eh, I can understand what he is getting at. Not all elves should be titty monsters, nor all DFC, particularly given that there are tit sizes in between them.

>> No.41031432

Not that anon, but whenever I see huge tit'd elves I can't help but imagine that they're saving up for winter. Like a chipmonk does with nuts but with their breasts instead. So when it's hot/summer their chests slim down because they no longer need the fat.

I just woke up I'm so sorry.

>> No.41031499

My favorite use of this trope was the one game where I played a sentient crow (mechanically it was a wizard with a crow familiar, but fluff-wise the wizard was just a corpse-puppet to the bird).

Our elf arcane archer always addressed the crow as "friend", "brother", etc, while calling the humans in the party "beast" and "animal."

>> No.41031502

Theres shots fired, then theres loading a cannon, tieing the bitch down, then going point blank.

>> No.41031503

I'm enjoying what life has to offer for me, but actually I just want artists to cater to my specific fetishes and taste.

Are we pushing this thread in the direction I think it is going?

>> No.41031531


>> No.41031556

>>I just want artists to cater to my specific fetishes and taste.

Me too. I just want female elves with big ghetto asses being fucked and impregnated by anthro stallions. Don't judge, brah.

>> No.41031576

I'm not sure if you're my nigga, but you might be. I would need samples to judge.

>> No.41031579

>she doesn't gag her humans
>laughing darkelfbitches.jpg

>> No.41031605

I can't post samples as they're all NSFW. We can be cautious niggas.

>> No.41031619

Imgur gallery?

>> No.41031669

This is the thing I don't understand. I know we are talking about fetishes and such and there is probably nothing to understand. But why elves then? Why not a fantasy race that is canonically described as having huge asses? Why give elves something that they originally not have and is alien to them?

>> No.41031725

That all boob sizes have something to offer? That want we need is Oppai/DFC as our OTP and thus bring peace to both sides?

>> No.41031734

Because that's just what my dick responds to. Plus seeing something as petite as an elven woman with such uncharacteristic curves is a turn on. You either get a fetish or you don't. That's the point.

>> No.41031871

I can live with brown elves being more stacked for some reason.

>> No.41031896


>> No.41032049


I'm the only one who got this damn reference.

>> No.41032133 [SPOILER] 

Not quite.

>> No.41032144

Have this elf as reward.

>> No.41032165

not public

>> No.41032265


>> No.41032280

I somehow managed to look at it by going through his albums. Some good stuff

>> No.41032383

Man, those thighs are so lazy that it ruins the rest of the picture for me. A shame since it's so good otherwise.

>> No.41032433

But I'm a Halfling!

>> No.41032453

Her hand as well, the artist had some priorities.

>> No.41032527


The picture with all the horses... The horse in the background almost looks like a giant dick going into the foreground horse's ass.

I'm disturbed.

>> No.41032560

Check you privileges.

>> No.41032565

That one is a little off, yes. But it's a pairing that isn't drawn a lot so I kinda take what I can get. Unless it's deviant art tier, then fuck that.

>> No.41032620

>sub-elf human males seducing elf women

There's a racist joke here somewhere...

>> No.41032626

>not Elven DeGeneres.

you had one job.

>> No.41032643

Humans are the monkies in that type of interspecies.

No Race Mixing. No Half Elves.

>> No.41032685

It's more like 'working class White guy meets rich upper class White girl'.

>> No.41032713


I mean let's face it the only way to better your life is to marry a rich girl and then beat her until she gives you everything you want.

>> No.41032761

>and then beat her until she gives you everything you want.
You almost made the elf girl cry.

>> No.41032812

Good. I want that.

I'm a Bully.

>> No.41032860

Me too.

>> No.41033054

Elves are good to bully. They react very well to the stimulation.

>> No.41033110

Stop this. Elves are fragile creatures and should be treated like delicate flowers.

>> No.41033213

You can't ask a bully to stop bullying, Anon.

Can you ask the sun to stop shining? Can you ask the birds to stop their flight?

And Elf's fragile, and delicate face contorted into mental, or even physical pain is a pleasure the caliber of which is unmatched.

And the look of acceptance afterwards; The sniffling compliance and resignation to their new positions off the pedestal-


>> No.41033243

This text pleases me

>> No.41033249

You are, indeed, my nigga

>> No.41033282

Because Brown Elves are just better in general

>> No.41033289


>> No.41033290

Seek help, you are not worthy of the elves.

>> No.41033317

The irony, your image actually depicts a dwarf.

>> No.41033387


>> No.41033483

It's the Elfen Girl who must be worthy of me, stranger. I don't bully those who don't deserve the effort and attention.

>> No.41033486

>>worthy of something that deserves to be broken

>> No.41033602

I was always wondering from where this human superiority complex comes from.

Elves deserve a long, fulfilling life, that's not too much to ask.

>> No.41033857


Alright /tg/ I've only read a few books that featured elves in any major way, Lord of the Rings, some Dragonlance and Forgotten Realms novels, and I don't recall any elves acting like this at all.

Legolas was a cool guy, Laurana was the inferior waifu compared to Kitiara , but she was just sort of bland, not stuck up, and Drizzit has a lot of problems but arrogance isn't one of them.

So where did the whole 'all elves are haughty assholes' thing come from? Please don't tell me it's Eragon.

>> No.41033908

>once a decade
Despite the ears, they're not Vulcans.

>> No.41033957

I know, that's just some headcanon of mine for lewdness purposes.

>> No.41033983

It's neckbeards that don't like to think that something could be better than humans. This is a symptom of humanity fuck yeah bs. They seek to find the worst possible description and portrayal of elves and then circle jerk about it. Because how fucking dare those elves act all high and mighty! With their better than you attitude about trees and the environment. long lived biology and their fucking unearthly beauty! And they look down on everyone!!!!!!! I'm totally not wanking to giving elves their comeuppance! Not rape if it's an elf lol!

Only it's the neckbeards themselves that majorly contribute to this depiction of elves and thus cause it to spread.

>> No.41034084

Hey, I actually like elves as part of a real story. But I also like fapbait schlock, which female elves work with.

>> No.41034192

Well said

>> No.41034227


>> No.41034293


>> No.41034563

Excuse me, you daft bitch, but do I look human to you? Just for that, tonight, I'm having your leg for dinner. Hope you enjoy adventuring on a prosthetic.

>> No.41034745


>Elven prosthetics

That sounds cool as shit. Animated wooden limbs, vines in place of arms, shit like that.

Why aren't there settings where Elves have plantborg technology? Shit.

>> No.41034779

They kind of do in some settings, though it runs closer to magic than tech.

>> No.41034851


What settings are those?

>> No.41034889



>> No.41034928


I suppose that makes sense, it's just sort of funny that elves seem to attract their hate above and beyond every other fantasy race.

>> No.41034979


Do they? I don't remember Elf Prosthetics in Eberron.

Either way, this has given me a cool idea for elves.

Elves, as a culture, are transcendence-seekers. They spend long periods of time meditating among flowers and such, trying to become one with the world around them. Eventually, the highest-level/oldest/(preferred form of advancement) slowly become indistinguishable from plants.

This is why elves live forever and don't breed much - the best of them become entwined with nature itself.

>> No.41035029


One way to handle the whole "immortal elves" conundrum is to have them basically become one with nature past a certain age. I did that in a previous setting, where the oldest elves were more or less fused to various plants by roots. They were extremely wise, but frail.

Also, plant grafts are from Magic of Eberron, I think.

>> No.41035055

If anything, dwarves are dicks too. Most video games with multiple races have humans as an underdog while also making them super spechial at the same time. And everyone that looks down on the human race ends up at their mercy or something. Looking straight at Mass Effect for that.

It's so fucking annoying and hypocritical.

>> No.41035112


So they end up becoming dryads of a sort? Makes sense. A good way to marry the 'magically/technologically superior' cliche with the 'DEFEND MUH FOREST TO THE DEATH' types. The plants are their dead/ancestors.

>> No.41035181

I find it most annoying when other races given humans shit for being racist/xenophobic/mean or whatever, but are just as racist/xenophobic/mean as well. When you use 'human' as an insult, you're not exactly the most progressive person around.

Also, dwarfs are obnoxious cunts that talk shit to your face and somehow get a pass for it.

>> No.41035331


Yeah, basically. It's not that they're Super Superior, it's that they have actual wisdom and knowledge humans don't, because humans learned a different kind of wisdom and knowledge - the wisdom of Iron, instead of the wisdom of Wood.

Elves surround themselves with nature, enlightening themselves and slowly becoming one with it. Humans surround themselves with Iron, turning the landscape to suit their needs, cloaking themselves in iron armor and wielding iron implements, and so on.

I guess Dwarves would have the Wisdom of Stone, and emulate the unyielding rock as much as possible, until eventually they themselves become rocks.

This sounds like a setting idea, maybe I should give this its own thread and see what falls out?

>> No.41035451 [SPOILER] 

>tfw the elf fighter only spent a few weeks learning to use a sword, despite being hundreds of years old
>tfw she didn't mention that she spent most of that time learning magic and just wanted to try some human-style adventuring
>tfw the fighting gets too hard and she cheats her way out with magic
>tfw you were just entertainment for a bored wizard

>> No.41035505

>not wielding antimagic relics.

Are you a casul?

>> No.41035518

And in it as well

>> No.41035552


>> No.41035817


>> No.41035911

>Legolas was a cool guy
His dad wasn't though.
Not to mention Fëanor "Murder and bury every Teleri" Curufinwë

>> No.41035934

>mistaking a Dwarf for a human
Elves are worse that I thought.

>> No.41035956

So uh, did you want those directions or not?

>> No.41035973

I've always thought of elves being petite, or at least slender and kind of androgynous. It fits much better with the usual role of elves as archers. You can't really handle a bow very well with breasts in the way.

>> No.41035993


Maybe so, but they weren't even characters in the text that I read and Legolas was.

>> No.41036021


>> No.41036030

Being petite wouldn't help you with bows. All bows using elves would be fairly well muscled up top.

>> No.41036054

>It fits much better with the usual role of elves as archers
Expect anons telling you how you need hulk-arms to draw even a simple hunting bow. Expect >muh longbows.

>> No.41036112

Literally less than 5 minutes searching

>> No.41036128

Yahweh, please go and stay go.

>> No.41036139

You never read The Hobbit?
It's okay, I didn't realise he was Legolas' father until someone pointed it out. I thought he was just some forest dwelling robber baron type with pretentions to royalty, rather than the actual King of the Elves of Mirkwood

>> No.41036284

I should have specified, females specifically.
The breasts thing really is the big issue here. Big breasts just don't make sense for archers ever. Being petite doesn't, either, but being tall and slender makes some sort of sense I guess. More than voluptuous fetish-incarnates
Also elves, and really any archer in a fantasy setting, are usually using something much smaller than a full English longbow. Unless the setting operates on Monster Hunter-tier ridiculous weaponry logic. Or if the setting depicts English longbowmen.

>> No.41036304


Oh you're right, I actually managed to completely forget about that guy. It's weird, the elves were important to how the ending turned out but when I think of the Hobbit I can remember the trolls, Gollum, Beorn, and Smaug perfectly but somehow I manage to keep forgetting that elves were even in The Hobbit at all.

>> No.41036408

>Big breasts just don't make sense for archers ever
Go home Aristotle you're drunk

>> No.41036419

I always felt that elves would be more skirmishers using hunting bows and their fast movement than english-artillery longbow men.

And breast aren't that much of an issue, you can compress them. Considering we aren't talking about giant breasts.

>> No.41036555

Any faggot saying that there's not an incredibly high demand for core, shoulder, back, and arm strength in archery is proving they've never fucking picked up a bow in their life. And if they have, it was set for just a few shots at close range, not for a day of war.

A society like Elves in which every single member is a practicing archer and swordsman wouldn't have a shinny arm or fat tit amongst them. There'd be like "buses parked on each side of the neck" traps and Arnie pecs on every single one.

>> No.41036666

>implying elves don't have extremely dense muscles that allow them to stay skinny, yet still be strong

>> No.41036713

I would be with you if you didn't used this word. /tg/ overestimtes too much how buff you need to be to be an effective archer, just to be contrarian to the popular image.

and this
Satan is right that you don't need to assume that fantasy races work exactly like humans.

>> No.41036716


> Implying you don't just want them big breasted yet petite because that makes them better fap material

>> No.41036789

I'm not him but elves have been small and magical longer than they've been archers.

>> No.41036839

I though only wood elves were mainly archers. High Elves are natural mages, with dark elves being the barbarians. Then Drow are the crazies.

>> No.41036853

I'm not /tg/, so that qualm's with them. I'm a re-enactor, and I've seen the kind of guys in the Archer group who just got to do it for a few hours over a day on schedule. They're in better shape than the cavalry and fencers hands down and that's just hobbyists. Elves are lifetime pursuers.

>> No.41036917

Wood Elves are Elves.
High Elves are Elves on pot.
Dark Elves are Elves with charcoal smeared on them.
Drow don't actually exist, they're just a rape fantasy made up by Elves afraid of dark caves.

>> No.41036987

Wouldn't Dark Elves and Drow be the same thing? Either one or the other, they both tend to be dicks.

>> No.41037039

Dark Elves are just elves in their emo phase.

>> No.41037201


>I don't like both of these tangentially-related things, so the same people must be responsible for both of them.

>> No.41037342

Well given that they;re elves and that phase lasts a 100 years I don't see how that's not accurate.

>> No.41037370

Have you ever heard of a "wise old dark elf"?
Didn't think so.

>> No.41037798

These threads are so annoying. Arguing about literally made up races. Fuck.

>> No.41037812

How frequently are clerics allowed to masturbate?

>> No.41037843

Then hide the thread. You have to press one button.

>> No.41037845

>hating imagination and discussion
>being on /tg/

Did you come here by mistake?

>> No.41037897

>arguing about literally made up races
Kinda strange that you mention that, aren't all races made up social constructs according to the leftists?

>> No.41037939


>> No.41037955

It's not about imagination and discussion. Most of the shit I see in this thread is
>Hurr durr, I hate elves, dwarves stronk/humanity fuck yeah

>> No.41038010


>> No.41038092

Race is a social construct, but still real, the same way money is real.
There is a difference between arguing over real social constructs and fake ones, just like there's a difference between fighting with your spouse over the mortgage, and fighting with your spouse over the mortgage on Park Place in Monopoly.

>> No.41038150

>Race is a social construct
>but still real
I don't know if I'm too drunk for this discussion, but at least have my reaction image.

>> No.41038160

>long-ass lifespans
>still shit at fighting

the stronger races send high keks in your direction

>> No.41038287

Talking about any race without specifying the setting is utterly pointless. It's stupid to presume anything without checking the facts.

>> No.41038350


>> No.41038410

That joke was funnier when Woody Allen did it in Antz

>> No.41038454

dude, I gave you another example. Money.

Money isn't natural. It's a social construct. But it's still real. Even if you say "well, gold is natural" our social decision to value gold is still artificial.

>> No.41038497

>Race is a social construct, but still real, the same way money is real.
You mean how some colours are more valuable than others?

>> No.41038556

Yup. What version of Monopoly is that?

>> No.41038730

Mellon always seemed a bit too deliscious a name to be a dwarf.

>> No.41038776

>Money isn't natural
Maybe our modern fiat-money isn't natural, but currency definitive is. Before you start screaming shit, metallic nails wre a curency in ancient egypt, cows in ancient greece. People always used some kind of currency.

>our social decision to value gold is still artificial.
Well, thank worthless paper money for that. If we would have a gold standard our money would have some worth.

>> No.41038866

Australian Monopoly.

And this is Canadian Monopoly.

>> No.41038870

It's a Tolkien reference, "friend" in elvish.

>> No.41038925


Even in a barter system the exchange rate of your cows or nails is still just an agreed upon social construct. I'm pretty sure that anon was just trying to get across the idea that even things that are 'only' social constructs still have a huge impact on peoples lives.

>> No.41039031

It's elvish for 'friend.' It's a LotR pun.

>> No.41039036


HeyHeyHEY...what are you all doing out of bed. Get back in there!!

>> No.41039057

So that's what, about 1% of human history?
Aside from actual consumables, like cattle, currency is some object that's culturally valued but otherwise useless, like shells, giant rocks, necklaces or whatever. Precious metals only started being used as a currency and unit of value and exchange because mesopotamian temples made statues out of it. It just became the most successful currency because it's convenient, in that you can easily measure, divide, and transport it.
Paper money representing precious metals stored elsewhere is even more convenient, of course, since it's lighter and thinner. And eventually people realised that if you were just going to leave all the gold in Fort Knox anyway, you didn't really need it and could just use the bank notes.
Kula necklaces, wampum, and silver have no more intrinsic worth than slips of coloured paper (ignoring industrial uses, of course).

>> No.41039126

Alright, I think I get the point. Currency is kinda a social construct, because the people have to voluntary accept what the currency is worth, but this argues against any kind of state imposed currency, because in this case the worth of the currency isn't voluntarily anymore. Yes, I'm a drunk libertarian, give me an hour and I won't be able to answer anymore.

>> No.41039130

LotR is fairly unique for having large ubermensch elves.

It's going to depend probably on sexual practices of the species and the prevalence of sexual dabbling. Elves don't seem to dabble or screw as often in fantasy settings, so humans are probably marginally better-equipped.

>> No.41039203

What is useful and what not is not for you to decide. The important thing is that it was valuable for the people back then, which made wealth keep circulating.

Why are people so disrespectful to other cultures and their way of paying for things?

>> No.41039224

hey there, Gimli, watcha doin'?

>> No.41039253

A bear could probably fuck up anybody who posted here, but you wouldn't say bears are the superior species since we're the ones with tool use (they can stack boxes to get food, but we have better tools).

>> No.41039259

What are you talking about? Surely there's no curfew around he-

Wait, they're all HOW old? God dammit, Elves are confusing... yes, yes, I suppose it IS past their bed-time, isn't it. I'm terribly sorry. All of you back to bed this moment! Come on, chop chop! Your parents will be terribly worried!

>> No.41039316


I think you missed which bed I meant, sonny

>> No.41039391

Well if you wanted to be all existentialist about it, people could always exercise their radical freedom to ignore money.

> this argues against any kind of state imposed currency, because in this case the worth of the currency isn't voluntarily anymore
Who said anything about voluntary?
One interesting example is the Hut Tax in various (usually British) African colonies. Colonial administators and local businesses who needed labour would want to hire natives, but the natives didn't value money (or at least, not enough to want to get a job). So, a tax would be imposed on them (usually based on the size of their hut) and only cash would be accepted as payment. Now they had to value money or else they'd be arrested and their homes burned down.

>> No.41039424

What? No, I'm pretty sure i know what you mean..? What other kind of bed could you mean?

>> No.41039540

I'm not saying they weren't valuable. I'm perfectly aware that humans have needs beyond supper, shelter, and sex.
I'm just trying to defend my own culture of Using Paper Money against the zealotry of the Goldbugs who say our ways are artificial, wrong, and worthless.

>> No.41039567


>> No.41039608 [DELETED] 

>against the zealotry of the Goldbugs who say our ways are artificial, wrong, and worthless.
I seriously hope you say this is all because of the Joooooooooos

>> No.41039629

My sentiments, exactly.

>> No.41039642

A flower bed, maybe?

>> No.41039659


>> No.41039680

Isn't "bed" something geological to do with ores? I'd expect this meaning being a possibility when talking to dwarf.

>> No.41039715

Yah, talking during sex is pretty pancy.

>> No.41039740


The more....creaky beds, if yah get my meaning.

>> No.41039741

>that one picture in exactly same style as BroQuest
why am I not surprised

>> No.41039866

What game is that?

>> No.41039871

Yes, but one wouldn't normally expect elves to be in that sort of "bed". Elves hanging out in flower beds is completely normal, on the other hand.

>> No.41039911

Creek-y? Ah. Shallow riverbeds, then.

>> No.41039931

Elves probably use relatively powerful, easy to draw compound bows with some sort of secret elf glue that doesn't break down in the damp.

>> No.41040076

>An elven ranger will never call you names while blushing furiously during sex

>> No.41040150

That's a dwarf?! I thought it was just a particularly swarthy human..!

Creaky..? Wait, you mean they don't have homes with good furniture..? They're in poverty?!

That's terrible! Isn't there any provision in this society for the disenfranchised and impoverished? is there anything I can do to help their situation? Elven, human, dwarf, or otherwise, no child should have to live in a home where they can't even afford a good bed for them!

>> No.41040193

Dwarves are usually given a free pass because they're literally down-to-earth and tend to be humanity's brothers in arms. If they shit about humanity, it isn't taken as being stuck up, but as being true, like pointing out a flaw in a piece of armor. They don't think the whole thing is at fault, most of the time, but they aren't going to let you think that you're flawless.

Basically they can be dicks but they aren't doing it for the sake of being cocks, but for legitimate reasons. Usually. Sometimes they're just isolationist bastards who are convinced they don't need anyone's help because they can ride anything out, other races and their future be damned.

>> No.41040323

No it wouldn't. All the gold in the world would be worth a tiny fraction of today's economy.

>> No.41040354

I have fapped to that picture far too many times.

>> No.41040380

You do know that one of those is a guy, right?

>> No.41040416


>> No.41040417

I think we should stay off of the gold standards so the pound will reach a level to keep our exports competitive.

>> No.41040428

Dirty talk is the best. Also loving nothings whispered sweetly in your ear during gentle sex.

Fuck it, I just want a girl to say that I'm not as bad as I think I am.

>> No.41040472

I want them to say that I'm bad, if not worse. A bad man, that is.

>> No.41040518

go to bed, Vegeta.

>> No.41040562

it doesn't have to be voluntary because, get this, "The State" is ALSO a social construct. In fact, you don't have to value the same things as everyone else to use it as currency.
Suppose I ONLY want to be paid in bags of rice. It's inconvenient for me to carry, but its a value I personally understand. But I also know "these assholes around me are happy to be paid in worthless scraps of paper they can't even eat, but only if they're printed with a certain picture on them." I know THEY will take them, so that gives it value, even if I don't personally see any reason to use the damn thing.

So, if the social construct that is the state says "pieces of shiny metal with this picture stamped on them can be traded to us for goods and services, or to pay taxes at rate X" boom, it has value even if everyone except the king and his goons think the metal bits are silly.

There is nothing intrinsic about human culture. Everything we identify as human are just things that we have collectively decided will be applied to allow us to fulfill primal instincts, and most of these standards exist only because it's been done that way since time immemorial.

Gold is worth grain because we've always been able to trade gold for grain, because some guy millenia ago agreed he'd be willing to take shiny metal in exchange for things.
Grain's value exists only because we've decided it's an easy source of food that we collectively will work toward. If we'd domesticated and focused on berries instead of grasses, our default food would be strawberries or fucking something.
We follow laws because if we don't we'll be punished, either with pain or deprived of freedom.
And all of this stems from decisions that were made a 10 thousand years ago by someone whose name is lost to time, because he made that decision first.
This is what 「SOCIAL CONTRACT」 refers to: navigating the 「CONSTRUCTS」 that were set before we were born.

>> No.41040737

>Fuck it, I just want a girl to say that I'm not as bad as I think I am.

Welcome to the secret sticky underpinning of all romantic relationships.

>> No.41040749

artificial academy 2.
It's got a general over on /vg/

>> No.41041010

You wut? It's gonna be weird when you can tell people you know what a bear dick feels like but not what it looks like. And I hold to my point, humans can be clean. Sometimes. When they try hard.

>> No.41041057

What would elves use in settings where guns exist? Assuming mid 20th-century technology (1940s-60s)

>> No.41041198

Guns. /Better/ guns than what you monkeys have.

>> No.41041241

>What would elves use in settings where guns exist?
The best guns

>> No.41041249

Interesting question. In Shadowrun I always felt that Elves would lean towards pistols/SMGs and get really close or go for the precision long range kills with sniper/marksman rifles.

>> No.41041543

Well when you consider the closest thing we've ever had to elves in real life are Finns, bolt-action rifles without scopes and with deadly accuracy.

>> No.41041660

elf of the year all years

>> No.41041677

>Elves prefer moist nuggets

I would have figured they'd use straight-pull bolt-actions to make them fire even faster.

>> No.41041793

medium/long range sniping

>> No.41041856

i'd carry canadian money around for the maple syrup smell

>> No.41041858

>You will never win a chilly elf over with your charm
>You will never slowly win her romantic affections
>You will never cuddle for warmth on a cool fall night
>You will never make love while she calls you a brute and a cad and an animal, and you'll never be leg-locked at the critical moment

On the bright side, you'll also never have half-elf children and grow old and die before your newfound family's eyes.

>> No.41041968

Why do elves and dwarves hate each other again?

>> No.41041990

Woods and mines don't mix.

>> No.41042041

That's retarded, mine tunnels are braced with wooden beams.

Elves are just fags about cutting down trees.

>> No.41042042

Depends on the setting. In Warhammer, they were tricked into fighting each other in a cataclysmic war that nearly destroyed both empires. They haven't been able to trust each other fully ever since.

>> No.41042156

Okay, a little less briefly:

You've got a people who don't really go out of their way to protect nature, and instead spend most of their time digging mines, shaping rock as it pleases them, and forging raw ores into tools of great cleverness and skill.

Then you also have a people who actually go out of their way to respect nature, work alongside it, and protect it. They encourage treets to grow in certain shapes and live in co-existence with nature, not trying to abuse it.

They're on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Elves barely go out of their way to shape wood most of the time, while dwarves don't understand why elves care more about some uncut mine bracer instead of their finely crafted steam apparatus.

Dwarves view nature a lot differently than elves, so they clash because the dwarves use it while the elves preserve it, and neither can see eye to eye

>> No.41042191

They have an on-again-off-again thing, but the hatesex is great.

>> No.41042436

>tall elves, short dwarves
>elves live in forests, dwarves live underground
>elves exceed in magic, dwarves can't into magic in most settings
>elves gather their resources, dwarves rip them from their surroundings
I could go on and on. Dwarves and elves are like polar opposites. Dark elves are kind of interesting because they frequently serve as a mix between those two, but they hate dwarves and vice versa because reasons.

>> No.41042523

>Dark elves are kind of interesting because they frequently serve as a mix between those two, but they hate dwarves and vice versa because reasons.
It's a dispute over who has intellectual property rights to the Svartalfar

>> No.41042572


>> No.41044275

>not real
non-white please go

>> No.41044297

Or better yet. They use these so they can have both power and maneuverability.

>> No.41044638

Rolled 8 (1d20)

I roll to punch the elf in the abdomen. My enchanted punch daggers will harden her blood into razor sharp spikes and rip her apart from the inside.

>> No.41044696

>Rolled 8

>> No.41044901

What if Dwarves are just younger Elves?

>> No.41045145

Do you know what people who don't care say? Nothing. Because they don't care. No love, what you feel is fear masked with racism and distaste. You infantilize humans to the point of considering them animalistic out of a deep seated anxiety rooted in close contact with humans during an excessively lengthy childhood. In the time it took you to become a young adult preparing to take off into the world out from under your parents home you watched three generations of humans grow up, carve their mark into the world, raise families, grow old, impart wisdom onto the next generation, and die whild you remained under the care of your elvish parents. You feel a deep-seated anxiety as a result of this, as though something is missing in your long-lived life in which relationships are mercurial over centuries and nothing has a great deal of urgency, and therefore meaning. Humans you view as animals because of how rapidly they seem to breed to you, and this in turn rouses your anxieties towards family and the heavy restrictions that you grew up with in your household. Your hatred of humans is merely a coping mechanism, a simple transference.

Now tell me about your relationship with your father.

>> No.41045182

That's not a thing anon, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

>> No.41045614

Oh gods you're right.

I'm actually only a half-elf. My father was a human, and one day when I was a little girl, he left and didn't come back! He was always there for the first 50 years of my life, but then mom told me he just left to a distant island and never returned.

>> No.41045866

The distant lands might be him reaching the afterlife.
So he couldn't ever return.

>> No.41045993

canafag here they really do gotta be fresh from the bank though

it's awesome

>> No.41046422

almost missed that

>> No.41046729

if it's one of the two pics I think it is, then it's from a game called Breeding Season.
It's on Newgrounds and Blogspot.

>> No.41046787

>Yfw you will never have a giant elf sorceress talk down to you like the human filth you are as she playfully toys with you, using you for her own pleasure

>> No.41046823

i for one advocate the elf genocide

>> No.41046961

Dwarf detected. Shouldn't you be drinking ale and figuring out which of the bearded ones is your wife?

>> No.41047852

This begs the question:
How bearded are Dwarven females?

>> No.41047863

>implying you can grow barley and hops underground

>> No.41047915

>Not having a XBOX HUEG fort that spans from the clouds down to the mountainheart, conquering the nature both ways as well as a big parimiter of walls to farm and expand in
Stay pleb, hill dorfs.

>> No.41048279

They just have crazy bush.

>> No.41048602

Are you saying their beard is subterranean?

>> No.41048702


>> No.41048782

Bush is disgusting. This is why everyone prefers silky smooth elf ladies over short and furry dwarf "women"

>> No.41048793

I told you we shouldn't have sent the niggers into the forest first to check for traps.
Now the elves think that all humans are niggers.
I wanted to send the woodsmen and a diplomat. But you were like "Nooo what if they just get slaughtered, send in the niggers first to see if they're killed on sight".
It didn't work the LAST time. We sent the niggers in to investigate the Orcs, and now the Orcs think we're backwards savages and we'd be improved if the Orcs conquered and civilized us. The ORCS. Think WE'RE backwards savages.
The dwarves even made fun of us for it by sending 7 psychopathic savants as their contact party.
I swear to god m8 if we find another race we're sending in TRAINED DIPLOMATS first.

>> No.41048967




>> No.41049011

You seem mad

>> No.41049041


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