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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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38052177 No.38052177 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Meanwhile, on Roman /tg/...

>> No.38052207

Daily reminder that BYZANTIUM IS ROOOOOOOMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN first and Greek second.

>> No.38052227

>>38052177

>865 AUC
>Not knowing Greek

What are you, some Transalpine peasant?

>> No.38052234

The boner people get for Ancient Rome is a little off-putting at times.

Almost as bad as Viking pride.

>> No.38052235

>>38052177
It's not rape if it's a Carthaginian.

>> No.38052268

>>38052234
Rome was a pretty big deal, get the dick out of your ass.

>> No.38052300
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38052300

>tfw I didn't get my daily bread and circuses today.

>> No.38052306

>>38052177
KEEP ROME FOR ROMANS

>> No.38052338
File: 23 KB, 337x372, 1422179795241.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38052338

>mfw I read The Golden Ass, the only book of antiquity to survive in it's entirety to the modern day.

>> No.38052349

>>38052235
Nonsense! Our empire's war with Carthage is the work of the Hebrews, I tell you!

I bet the Emperor is secretly a Hebrew too.

>> No.38052371

>>38052338
What was it about? No, I won't go to wikipedia.

>> No.38052378
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38052378

>>38052349

>Implying Hebrews will ever have power

They're a society of religious zealots with delusions of grandeur. They're thugs and thieves, the lot of them, I don't see how they could ever get an iota of power.

>> No.38052387
File: 33 KB, 800x400, ivchan pompeii graffiti.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38052387

>>38052177
http://www.pompeiana.org/resources/ancient/graffiti%20from%20pompeii.htm

>> No.38052391

>>38052268
Rome was a lot of things, over a very long time, with it's continuity more of an implied concept than a factual one. More importantly, it wasn't that much greater than other contemporary civilizations, and establishing pride around the idea of Ancient Rome often leads to exaggerations of the utmost degree.

I'm not saying that Ancient Rome didn't have neat things, but try to exercise moderation in its praise.

>> No.38052409

>stuck in cramped, filthy Rome
>not enjoying your villa in Campania.

Why live?

>> No.38052422

>>38052371

The synopsis?

Main character is a carefree lawyer visiting a very boring friend in Thessaly when he discovers the boring friend's wife is a witch. After convincing a fuck buddy slave-girl to steal some of the witch's potions, he accidentally gets turned into a donkey and goes off on an increasingly wild series of adventures that include getting captured by a band of thieves, getting worked to near death, getting "appropriated" by an asshole Centurion and almost fucking a zoophile.

He ends up becoming a Priest of Isis after she cures him of the curse. It's actually a very charming story, especially when you consider it was written in 120 AD.

>> No.38052435

>>38052391
Name another empire, contemporary to its time, that matched Rome at its height. Say, during the reign of Augustus.

Protip: You can't.

>> No.38052440

>>38052234
having a boner for rome is one of the oldest traditions in western civilization

>> No.38052446

>>38052234
c'mon, it's no where near viking pride

>> No.38052489
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38052489

>>38052177
>looked at me like marius would look at sulla

unbelievably accurate, my sides

>> No.38052490

>>38052422

Also like 50% of all his problems are solved through projectile shit.

>> No.38052510

>>38052391
>China regarded Rome as its superior
Lrn2history pleb

Stay Sassanid

>> No.38052532
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38052532

>>38052306
To Hell with Rome! Italy for the Italians!

>> No.38052539

>>38052510

Actually China regarded Rome as being the great counter-weight to China.

They viewed it as a land brimming with immense quantities of gold, jewels, and painted glass (of which no equal could be found in China.)

>> No.38052556

>>38052435
Can I argue the Han?

Technology, Art, and Military techniques comparable if not superior (and opens up a lengthy debate), though I will grant that Roman Law trumps Han Law to an overwhelming degree.

As much as I try to resist, I can't help but praise Roman Law.

>> No.38052571

>>38052435
Han Empire? Parthian Empire? India was kind of divided during the 1st centuries, but the Maurya Empire was contemporary with the Republic and the Gupta Empire with the Dominate.

>> No.38052590

>>38052532
Socius pls go and stay go.

>> No.38052604

>>38052556
Han Chinks do have better Bureaucracy than Rome though. The Senate was more of a "talent pool" as opposed to the Cabinets & Ministries of the Imperial Court.

>> No.38052613

>>38052422
>>38052490
10/10

>> No.38052622
File: 61 KB, 563x563, 1389238101725.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38052622

>>38052604

>mfw Chinese afterlife is literally a giant courtroom.

The ride never ends.

>> No.38052637

>>38052510
Eh, while I disagree with that anon, i should point out that it was more a politeness thing than any other on the part of the Eastern Han, especially since trade, particularly at the heights of stability of their respective empires, was still conducted through secondary or tertiary intermediaries. Of course, the closest we get to actual official documentation between the two before the 1400s was a Chinese general facing off against repatriated troops in Parthia who were repeatedly utilizing a "turtle-shield" formation, which some historians suggest may be the famous tetsudo, as Parthia took some Roman soldiers prisoners after Carrhae and may have stationed them to the east.

>>38052539
Don't forget ores. Apart from rare earth metals, iron quality in most parts of N. China were (and still are) fairly poor and filled with impurities.

>>38052604
>Cabinets & Ministries of the Imperial Court.
Most of the meritocracy-aspects of the Scholar-Gentlemen play a much lesser role in earlier Han years and are a much more prominent in Song and later dynasties. Han court culture was significantly less advanced than we often picture it, due to how it develops hundreds of years later.

>> No.38052642

>>38052571
The Han Chinese are arguably Rome's equal.

Parthia was a successor state that wasn't remotely Rome's equal in terms of infrastructure.

>> No.38052643

>>38052622
>The ride never ends

That is literally the entire point of Samsara. That's why, in East Asia, Buddhas and saints are more highly regarded than gods.

>> No.38052674

>>38052637
>Eh, while I disagree with that anon, i should point out that it was more a politeness thing than any other on the part of the Eastern Han, especially since trade, particularly at the heights of stability of their respective empires, was still conducted through secondary or tertiary intermediaries. Of course, the closest we get to actual official documentation between the two before the 1400s was a Chinese general facing off against repatriated troops in Parthia who were repeatedly utilizing a "turtle-shield" formation, which some historians suggest may be the famous tetsudo, as Parthia took some Roman soldiers prisoners after Carrhae and may have stationed them to the east.

>The Liangshu records the arrival in 226 CE of a merchant from the Roman Empire (Da Qin) at Jiaozhi (near modern Hanoi). The Prefect of Jiaozhi sent him to Sun Quan [the Wu (kingdom) emperor], who asked him for a report on his native country and its people. An expedition was mounted to return the merchant along with 10 female and 10 male "blackish coloured dwarfs" he had requested as a curiosity and a Chinese officer who, unfortunately, died en route.

>> No.38052688
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38052688

>> No.38052702

>>38052637
>Most of the meritocracy-aspects of the Scholar-Gentlemen play a much lesser role in earlier Han years and are a much more prominent in Song and later dynasties
Not really. The significance of the scholar-bureaucrat emerged in the Han Dynasty. The Feudal Nobles however were in equal standing with the Scholar-Bureaucrat. A son of a duke can find himself passed for office if some county magistrate can do the job of governor better than him.

The Three Kingdoms Period and the Chaos of the Nanbeichao Period eventually led to the demise of Nobility in China.

>> No.38052770
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38052770

>>38052674
>a Chinese officer who, unfortunately, died en route
>died en route
>unfortunately

>> No.38052776
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38052776

>>38052539
>They viewed it as a land brimming with immense quantities of gold, jewels, and painted glass (of which no equal could be found in China.)
>Gold
Not that rare in China.
In China, Silver trumps Gold. Jade trumps both.

Hence during the 2008 Olympics, the Medals had a white Jade "bi" embedded on it. "Bi" were medals awarded to meritorious civil & military officials for their service. Ranks being
>First Rae: White Jade. The rarest most expensive Jade
>Second: Agate Jade
>Third: Plebby Green Jade.

>> No.38052888
File: 3 KB, 194x205, 1394047397318.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38052888

Do you think Romans had roleplaying games?

>> No.38052911

>>38052888
They probably used GURPS.

>> No.38052930

>>38052888

It's called "Gladiatorial games."

>> No.38053020

>>38052930
Speaking of which: were the Romans the only cunts who enjoyed watching people fight?

>> No.38053034

>>38053020
Did you watch the Superbowl? It feeds the exact same urge.

>> No.38053038

>>38053020

They learned it from the Etruscans.

>> No.38053055
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38053055

>>38052888
They had the right kind of dice for it.

>> No.38053128

>>38052371
There's even a comic.
http://zizki.com/milo-manara/the-golden-ass

>> No.38053146
File: 28 KB, 220x369, Shuai Jiao Platform.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38053146

>>38053020
The Romans weren't the only cunts who enjoyed watching people fight. They enjoyed the SPECTACLE of People fighting. Gladiatorial Games had special effects and shit.

Also no. The Medieval States had jousting and melees. Which WERE initially lethal.

BUT HEY, let's stick to the period. During the time India had a version of gladiatorial combat in the form of fights between the warrior schools. And it was lethal.

Han China, meanwhile had The Platform. Ever watched Dragon Ball? Wherein there's a martial arts tournament were guy who gets thrown out of it automatically loses? That's The Platform. Basically there's a bracketed match of martial arts or armed (with fake weapons) combat wherein the top nigger becomes Champion. There's also a a king of a hill match wherein contestants fight in a free for all to throw people out until one remains.

The Platform also serves as the venue for legally sanctioned lethal duels between arguing gentlemen. Chinese law sanctions duels so long as there's plenty of witnesses so they're usually held in Bridges and Crossroads. But The Platform makes it extra legal and when it happens it becomes the event of the day.

>> No.38053165

>>38053038
>>38053020

To be more specific, Gladiatorial fights were actually the "primetime" event during a Game, and were hardly the "meat" of the event.

The vast majority of a Game was composed of either executing prisoners or watching people kill animals (or watching animals kill animals, or animals killing prisoners.)

At mid-day an announcer would declare who was sponsoring the fight and let everyone off for a half-time lunch.

>> No.38053223

>>38053146
I Like to think the guy on top was shouting something like
"EAGLE"

>> No.38053253
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38053253

>>38053146
>>38053020
contd.

However the most popular public spectacle in China is football, lol. They were probably the first people who had organized sport teams. With MANAGERS and shit.

Later on, the game spread to Korea (tsuk guk), Japan (kemari), and Vietnam. These guys played with Chinese teams which caused pseudo-world cups back in the 600's-1000's.

>> No.38053269

>>38053253

Did they have wildly flamboyant announcers?

>> No.38053317

>>38053269
Nope. Though Chinese peasants, like their medieval European counterparts, also rioted.

>> No.38053404
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38053404

>>38052207

>> No.38053434

>>38052391
Man, people who spread false information about history are my pet peeve.

I don't much care for you

>> No.38053465

>>38053146
>China invented the Royal Rumble

baller

>> No.38053477
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38053477

>>38053404

You know, if I was better with editing I'd make an edit of that "Argentina is WHITE" image, only with a Greek yelling, "BYZANTIUM IS ROMAAAAAN"

>> No.38053517

>>38053434
Because you just realized you are your own pet peeve?

>> No.38053549
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38053549

>>38053477
Do it badly. You are in 4chan, land of the shitty editing skills.

>> No.38053603

>>38052642

Fun possible fact!

Apparently the Chinese (probably Han) and the Romans made contact.

They both came to conclusion that the other empire was composed of respectable fellows.

>> No.38053611

>Be me
>Come home from long day of work in the vomitorium
>Sign on to IVChan for some downtime
>Go to /sen/, politics board, hoping for some discussion on that idea of building a wall across Britannia and pretending Northern Britannia just doesn't exist
>Three entire threads of nothing but ">SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE" repeated ad naseum
Fucking Secvndvs.

>> No.38053690

Egyptian stole my chariot.

>> No.38053733
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38053733

>>38053690
You mean Nubian.

Nubian stole yo kingdom too.

>> No.38053908

All you other Romaboos should check out the Medicus series by Ruth Downie. It's about a Roman Army Doctor stationed with the XX legion in Britannia.
He solves murder, while really REALLY not wanting to.

>> No.38054117

>plebs wanting Sulla back

>> No.38054202

Are Han dynasty fans the ancient weeaboo?

>> No.38054421
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38054421

>>38054117
Some people will always value what you do not.

Those plesbians.

>> No.38054462
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38054462

>>38052177

>> No.38054536
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38054536

>>38053253
I have a Korean girl who has no idea what that word is. Give up some source anon or I will be forced to do unseemly things

>> No.38054624
File: 925 KB, 534x653, King of Khotan.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38054624

>>38054202
The First Weeaboos were the East Asians who copied China's culture. Particularly Koreans and Viets.

But in a more western sense, the Turkics were the first weeaboos.

They painted in the Chinese manner, wore Chinese clothes, and drank tea to begin with.

>> No.38054698
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38054698

>>38052177

>> No.38054729
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38054729

>>38054698

>> No.38054836

>>38054536
Maybe you should purchase another Korean girl

>> No.38054867

>>38052387

>Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

>> No.38054878

>>38054624
>The First Weeaboos were the East Asians who copied China's culture
>Viets
Pretty sure Viets are Chinese. As is basically every squinty-eyed fuck in existence.

>> No.38054927

>>38052300
underrated post

>> No.38055046
File: 82 KB, 588x800, Celt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38055046

Hail those indulged in buggery,
My name is Morcant, and I loath your entire republic. All of you are sloven, uneducated, wastes of skin who spend every second of their day fondling the ass of young men. You are a perfect example of a failure of men. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten past the highlands? I mean, I suppose it’s quite enjoyable to kill those beneath you, but you all take it to a new level. This is even worse than placating your own penis to carved statues.

Don’t dismiss this. Come and face me if you wish. I am a pinnacle of the battlefield. I formed several alliances with the Picts and the Franks, and claimed several victories over the Nords. What contests do you perform against one another, other than “fellate myself to slave boy”? I also strike true with my spear, and have a score of willing men at my command (We just appeased the fair folk, our fortune is assured!). You are all sodomites who should merely end their lives rather than maintaining this pathetic charade you call civilization. I thank you for reading.
Additionally: observe this image. It is me and my equipment.

>> No.38055114

bump

>> No.38055159

>>38054878
here's your reply

>> No.38055161
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38055161

>>38052440
This

>> No.38055243
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38055243

>>38054536
I remember that picture from my history book when I was in middle school.

Without that history book, I wouldn't have learned to actually like history, and later on probably would have never gone /tg/.

>> No.38055244

>>38055161

In fact, the first man to have a gigantic boner for Ancient Rome was Julian the Apostate!

>> No.38055285
File: 190 KB, 677x782, 1410895263426.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38055285

>>38055046
>Franks
>Nords
>Germanic tribes
>Republic?

Get out of here barbaroi, you're drunk.

>mfw people don't know history

>> No.38055321

ille vir commune?

>Want a start a new Labyrinths and Dracones group
>rent out a space at the local taberna
>graffiti advertisement on a wall in the Forum
>Three plebs show up
>First two are locals from the Aventine neighborhood
>their characters are the standard bastard children or descendants of Gods or Goddess
>Third guy is some fucking unwashed Iberian
>breath smells like piss
>is bearded
>look at his character wax tablet
>Some bullshit Lucretia-divina character that is the son of a soldier and works as a copper smith
>picks the fucking dishonorable archer class
>whatever start the game anyway
>The Iberian never is never concerned about his τιμή or kλέος
>he constantly interacts with townsfolk instead of ignoring them
>he refused to have sex with horny sea nymph I present him with
>kick him out after first session

Fucking Iberians.

>> No.38055365
File: 129 KB, 1914x1091, rome a shit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38055365

>>38055285

>> No.38055454
File: 53 KB, 400x570, German.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38055454

>>38055046
>>38055285
Hwat!
You southern whelps bicker all you wish, but when your empires are but dust, it is my people who will build a new world from their bones. All the great nations will be of our blood, for century upon century to come, and our domain shall outlive even our gods.

>> No.38055478

Secundus defecated here

>> No.38055488

>>38055478
Get it right, boy-lover.

Secvndvs defecated here.

>> No.38055502

>>38055243
its frater, not fratrer

>> No.38055550

>>38055488

romanes eunt domus

>> No.38055573

>>38055478

Is Secundus the Chad of the ancient world?

>> No.38055585

>>38055550
People called the romanes go to the house?

>> No.38055598

>>38055573
http://www.pompeiana.org/resources/ancient/graffiti%20from%20pompeii.htm
You tell me

>> No.38055608

>>38055585

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIAdHEwiAy8

>> No.38055611

>>38055046
Go back to your rivers, Gaul.
Your most praised warriors have bowed before more kings than your mother before men. Can you pick your own father from five?

>> No.38055620
File: 99 KB, 815x822, roman emperors were best emperors.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38055620

A Roman walks into the tavern, holds up his pointer and index fingers and says "Five beers, please."

>> No.38055622

>>38055550

Romani ite domum

>> No.38055716

Good. Now write it out 100 times before dawn, or I cut your balls off

>> No.38055779

>>38055716

Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum,
Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum,
Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum,
Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum,
Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum

>> No.38055790

>>38055779


Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum

100 times. Happy Centurion?

>> No.38055793

>>38055779
I count fifty, fool.
Next post had better have the rest.

>> No.38055804

>>38055790

Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum, Romani ite domum

>> No.38055808

>>38055804
That's better.

>> No.38055826
File: 131 KB, 1024x682, 1421533402405.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38055826

>>38055454
No, no, don't tell me, I got this - you're dressed up as a scarecrow who's a superhero, whose power is using his cape as a rug so we don't have to walk all over him as we conquer the known world and compile all the great science and philosophy and art that all your 'children' will spend centuries merely trying to ape.

>> No.38055936

>>38055826
Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of you being vanquished. Whoops, would you look at that, I just accidentally the whole western world!

>> No.38055956

>Romans

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDVybaCiVWc

>> No.38055976

>>38053128
This is completely amazing, thank you so much for linking this.

>> No.38055994

I don't understand these "Men's Rights Activists"

What are they here to save us from? The women?

Give them a slap and stain their favorite tunic and be done with it.

>> No.38056222
File: 15 KB, 250x250, Holy Crackers!.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38056222

> Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?

Why can't we be this eloquent in today's times, /tg/?

>> No.38056239

>>38056222
The translation probably polished it up, a lot. Let's give it a more basic translation.
>Ayyyy u fags in luv, gonna smash me some pussy so hard she can't walk str8. If she stabs me in the heart imma choke a beyotch
Twitter will one day be viewed as a bastion of eloquence and poetry

>> No.38056289

>>38056239
Nah, he's saying that if love can strike him in the heart, why can't he bash the goddess of love's fucking head in.

Captcha: oggle

>> No.38056314

>>38055321
I kek'd heartily.

>> No.38056342

>>38056222
Most of them weren't very eloquent.

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

http://www.pompeiana.org/resources/ancient/graffiti%20from%20pompeii.htm

>> No.38056379

>>38056342
Sounds like a pun lost in translation. Like "Confucius say, man who go through turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."
Maybe instead of Confucius, it was Socrates, but whatever.

>> No.38056403

>>38056379
It's about STDs. You fuck a whore, you should expect to get the crotch rot.

>> No.38056417

>>38056403
At least he's implying it's a hot whore
.
Possibly just a hot chick in general

>> No.38056418

How do you say "10/10 My african friend" in latin?

>> No.38056438
File: 60 KB, 896x617, Bros 4 LIFE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38056438

>>38056342

>you will never have a friendship that will last millennia

>> No.38056443

>>38056418
X/X Amice mi Nubian

Probably not got the grammar right though

>> No.38056626

>>38052422
The hell man, spoiler alert!

>> No.38056819

>>38052422
> The rogues' story.
> Dat bear disguise.

Pink Mohawk was a thing even in 120 AD.

>> No.38057001

>>38056438
This is a seriously cringeworthy image.

>> No.38057102
File: 20 KB, 560x407, shrug[2].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38057102

>Be Roman teenager
>Nobody wants to play "Scuta & Senators" with me
>Tell me that if they wanted to pretend to be lion-men, they would've become gladiators instead

>> No.38057134

>>38052234
The modern boner for rome, and a lesser extent the greek city states before they were asked to join rome pales in comparison to the boner that was for Egypt starting from the start of the renaissance and running right until the UK lost political control over Egypt and the Sinai.

>> No.38057138
File: 154 KB, 790x1068, Iberian_Warriors_02.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38057138

ooga booga where's the garlic at?

>> No.38057162
File: 48 KB, 656x734, 1398934426319.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38057162

>>38055046
By Jupiter's cock, what did you just say about me you little Sophist? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at the military academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Gaul, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla mounted warfare and I’m the top horseman in all the Roman legions. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will trample you into the dirt with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my godforsaken words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me on the Forum? Think again, slaveboy. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of governors across the Roman Empire and your tribe is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. By Minerva's clitoris, you’re dead, barbarian. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my slaves. Not only do I possess an impressive ammount of slaves, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Legio X Equestris and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little barbarian. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn boylover. I will shit the furies all over you and you will drown in them. You’re deader than the shades of Pluto itself, kiddo.

>> No.38057169
File: 100 KB, 790x580, Iberian_Warriors_06.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38057169

>>38055046
Sup nigga from the north, whacha doing this days?

>> No.38057179

>>38052391
>>celt scum that would still be worshipping prehistoric stone rings without someone to teach him the bare basics of civilization, law, engineering and dapperness wants to mess with ROMA INVICTA

not even once,barbarian. I'll leave you to the auxiliaries to deal with.

>> No.38057182

>>38057169
Ok, I didn't know Spain had elephants.

Also that guy seems to be either Maximus or one of his kin.

>> No.38057187

>>38057182
>Ok, I didn't know Spain had elephants.
I think this is supposed to represent them defeating a Carthaginian force. Carthage was expanding into the Iberian Peninsula around the time Rome was still consolidating its power in Italy, I think.

>> No.38057204

>>38054624
They still drink more tea per capita than the next two countries combined (UK is 5th)

>> No.38057230

>>38055046
10/10, I'm legit crying with laughter.

>> No.38057239

>>38057182
>seems to be either Maximus
Maybe it's a small elephant

Carthage used the extinct North African Forest Elephant (not to be confused with the African Forest Elephant) and possibly Indian Elephants.
They did not use the more massive African Bush Elephant - those are almost impossible to train

>> No.38057284
File: 870 KB, 986x1369, 1387381025719.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38057284

>> No.38057294

>>38053317
Some things never change.

>> No.38057331

>>38057294
Peasants will always be revolting?

>> No.38057333

>>38057239
>Carthage used the extinct North African Forest Elephant
Why did they go extinct? Because teh Carthaginians used them that much? Or was it because of gladiatorial fights (which caused the North African lion to go extinct too)?

>> No.38057347

Yo, Nubian here.

Is there any place up in dis bloody empire dat aint filled wit lion imagery? I be sick ta dirtnap of dat shit, yo.

>> No.38057366

>>38057347
> clikckloc onga bongo krik krik
Patricius, the slave-boy is speaking up again

>> No.38057385

>>38057331
You said it! They stink on ice!

>> No.38057424

>>38057138
You can't fool me, all Iberian words end in -es.

>> No.38057437

>>38057333
General overexploitation, with those two factors being major, if not main, reasons. Plus, y'know, ivory and noms.

>> No.38057441
File: 30 KB, 400x300, maximus-russell-crowe-in-gladiator-7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38057441

>>38057239
>>seems to be either Maximus
>Maybe it's a small elephant
What?

I meant this Maximus

>> No.38057447

Ayy need dem gold for dem viking mistresses back home.

>> No.38057472

>Have brilliant idea for sci-fi game
>My group always wants to play fantasy games, mostly Sumerians & Sea-people.

I'll never get to be a man clad entirely in steel, why live?

>> No.38057478

>>38057472
>not wanting to play Sea People
>not wanting to be a bronze giant

>> No.38057500

>>38053128
Well, that had a lot more nudity and fucking than I was expecting.

>> No.38057502

>>38057441
Oh right.
I actually didn't who you were refering to, I just assumed you meant a big -

ah.

man fuck /tv/

A large chap, given his proportional size compared to the elephant

>> No.38057526

>>38057500
's art.
You can tell, 'cus of the urns

But yeah, I was slightly surprised by that. Especially the bestiality, though it's pretty common in classical stories

>> No.38057530

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx0Lpjm5xcE

>> No.38057554

>>38056418
X/X Amice mi Nubiane.
It's been two years, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

>> No.38057587

>>38057526
Honestly, with how I learned Latin in school it's easy to forget they were vulgar fuckers sometimes, and not just either soldiers or poets.
Catullus 16 is still a masterpiece, though.
>Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo
>Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
>qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
>quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum
>Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
>ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest
>qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem
>si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici
>et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
>non dico pueris, sed his pilosis
>qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
>Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
>legistis, male me marem putatis?
>Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

>> No.38057628

>>38057587
Catholic?

But yeah, that's a spectacular one.

>I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,
>bottom Aurelius and catamite Furius,
>you who think, because my poems
>are sensitive, that I have no shame.
>For it's proper for a devoted poet to be moral
>himself, [but] in no way is it necessary for his poems.
>In point of fact, these have wit and charm,
>if they they are sensitive and a little shameless,
>and can arouse an itch,
>and I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men
>who can't get it up.
>Because you've read my countless kisses.
>you think less of me as a man?
>I will sodomize you and face-fuck you.

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

>> No.38057636

>>38057138
>paints a target on his horse so archers are compelled to shoot it instead of him

SMART

>> No.38057720

>>38057628
Sort of, but where I'm from it's a choice you can make in your second year of middle school, where you get Latin, Latin and Ancient Greek, Science, Economics or some sort of intro to Psychology. Later in Latin, you could diversify and chose two extra hours of maths, sciences or languages, though the last was like 90% female, 5% autists, and 5% frat boys.
Sorry for the blog post.
Anyway, for spectacular poems, I also like Martialis.
>Narrat te, Chione, rumor numquam esse fututam
>Atque nihil cunno purius esse tuo.
>Tecta tamen non hac, qua debes, parte lavaris:
>Si pudor est, transfer subligar in faciem.
Or
>Mentula tam magna est, quantus tibi, Papyle, nasus,
>Ut possis, quotiens arrigis, olfacere.

>> No.38057842

>>38053055
I always wondered why no dice companies sell reproductions of that bitch. I'd pay chessex for a alchemical d20

>> No.38057848

>>38057720
I don't know Latin, I just know of Cattullus 16 and a scattering of words

"Civis Romanus Sum" is the only sentence I remember. And that wouldn't help me in Ancient Rome, they all spoke Greek.

>> No.38057934

>>38057848
Oh. Well, the first translates to
>"Rumor tells, Chiona, that you are a virgin,
>and that nothing is purer than your fleshy delights.
>Nevertheless, you do not bathe with the correct part covered:
>if you have the decency, move your panties onto your face."
The second is
>With your giant nose and cock
>I bet you can with ease
>When you get excited
>check the end for cheese.
Though the translation as I know it comes down to
>Your cock and nose are both so large
>that when you're erect, you can smell it.
Less poetic, I know, but gets the message across.

>> No.38058251

>>38055478
To the one defecating here. Beware of the curse. If you look down on this curse, may you have an angry Jupiter for an enemy.

>> No.38058399

>>38057138
>200 years before Christ
>Horse is coated in chainmail
Pfffhahaahaha, who the fuck draw this shit?

>> No.38058507

>>38058399

the first piece of mail was found 300 years before christ, so is your point that it was to expensive then ?, wich it was expensive but that doesnt mean NOBODY ever coated their horse in mail

>> No.38058515

>>38058507

*the first piece of mail found was from 300 BC

>> No.38058578

Fun fact: The word "Trivia" comes from Rome

At any point where 3 roads met(Trivia literally means "3 roads[tri via]"), the Romans would put up a message board for the citizens to use

The idea was that Roman citizens would use these boards to inform each other of things like hazards on the road, nearby stores, job offers, etc; however in practice, the boards were usually used for graffiti, drawings of dicks, and random, useless information

That's right folks, the ancient Romans invented shitposting

>> No.38058644
File: 87 KB, 628x372, Iberian Cavalryman.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38058644

>>38058399
It's a drawing of a mounted noble Iberian warrior.

Since Historians know the iberian armor all to well, the patterns on the weird horse could only be explained as chainmail.

Sides the drawing was too generous. The depiction implied that the whole horse was covered while it is theorized that mostly only the top of the horse ever was.

>> No.38059209

>>38057500
Did you expect something different then an ancient book originating in Rome?

>> No.38059275

>>38055365

The University of Texas isn't a country.

This makes no sense.

>> No.38059341
File: 105 KB, 500x507, Uo8YUKl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38059341

>>38058578

>drawings of dicks

yea but then again, romans did have a thing for dicks

>> No.38059365

>>38057162
11/10

>> No.38059450

>>38052391
>try to exercise moderation in its praise

No.

>> No.38059604

>>38057587
>>38057628
>what the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch

>> No.38059795

>>38059341
>be reading terminal lance
>multiple comics and blog posts about drawing dicks on bathroom stalls
Some things never change

>> No.38059808

>>38058578
>That's right folks, the ancient Romans invented shitposting
>Secundus defecated here
You don't say

>> No.38059827

>>38056417
But it's still a fire. It's inherently dangerous

>> No.38060149

>>38052391

actually rome was kind of a fuck up, all things considering

i mean its not like celts and dacians needed someone to build them roads and aqueducts, its not like the greeks from magna grecia to bactria actually needed someone to show them how to make machinery out of wood and shit

it was basically a massive military camp network serving one city state, and the rest was just being turned into ruralized provinces with regional centres, and while this did leave all sorts of decaying bits of ''civilization'' around for us to marvel at, it was mostly a step back for most of the population that actualy lived in relative political cultural and material well being before the stubborn neurotic fucktards decided to conquer them, and then drag them trough constant, unending civil wars and political and economic crisis, sure there was the occasional peloponesian war, or the sporadic tribal fighting, but nothing on the scale of tens of thousands of people wearing the same uniforms killing each other so some asshole can be cesar instead of cesar that got there by getting the pretorians to stab cesar, while the bulk of agricultural outputs of whole regions just get shipped of forcibly to feed what is basically a fuckhuge cluster of towerblock favelas, entire species of animals go extict cauze there publicly killed for fun, not to mention same thing getting done to humans, and the entire intelectual and cultural capacityes of the whole range of european, central asian, midle eastern and north african cultures getting diverted into feeding, maintaning and embelishing the same old fucking system instead of fucking producing stuff like analog computers

the only thing that you can give romans is they were stubborn and systematic to a fault
other than that it was a massive cage for humans built around the whole mediterranean

i mean think about it, its not like the world is better off cauze romans sacked siracruze and killed archimedes, for just one of a million examples

>> No.38060336

>>38060149
>its not like celts and dacians needed someone to build them roads and aqueducts
top kek

>> No.38060439

>>38060149
Rome did a bunch of shitty things, but they laid the foundation for centuries of growth even after Rome fell from power. The trade that flourished under Roman rule didn't simply disappear.

>> No.38060448

>>38060149
>extict cauze there publicly killed for fun
>entire intelectual and cultural capacityes...getting diverted into feeding, maintaning and embelishing the same old fucking system instead of fucking producing stuff like analog computers
>what is basically a fuckhuge cluster of towerblock favelas
>[only] the occasional peloponesian war, or the sporadic tribal fighting

Holy shit.

You just unironically parroted a Monty Python sketch seriously, using bad spelling and grammar.

>> No.38061112

>>38059795
Fact: You cannot give any military personnel a sharpie and a blank bathroom stall and not have them draw dicks all over it. Even the women do it.

>> No.38061378

>>38060448
>You just unironically parroted a Monty Python sketch seriously
Wait, which one?

>> No.38061564
File: 73 KB, 768x513, post-949-0-46810900-1394716893.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38061564

>>38061112
You cannot give any military personnel a sharpie. Or chalk. Or paint.

>> No.38061654

>>38061564
Remember the thread where we all thought of what to right on the side of a Deathstrike Missile?

my favorite was
>2014
>not using proper cover
followed by a poster of George Costanza taped on the side

>> No.38061691

>>38061378
"Sketch" may have been an exaggeration, but I was just getting so many echoes of "what have the Romans ever done for us?"

Also it was a really, really dumb post, so a little of the dumb may have rubbed off on my reply

>> No.38061774

>>38061691
Oh, yeah. It's been a while. Should probably rectify that.
And that post was indeed retarded. Speaking of:

>>38061654
>right
For fuck's sake, is it so much to ask that people learn to fucking spell before they try posting on a big boy site like 4chan?

>> No.38061848

>>38061774
Have you even entertained the idea that he might be blind and using a speech-to-text program that can't distinguish between "right" and "write"?
Yeah, didn't think so, you inconsiderate fuck.

>> No.38061917

>>38061848
Why would you go to an imageboard if you're blind?

>> No.38061953

>>38061848
Well why the fuck would I? When I see retarded mistakes like that I don't think that he's blind.
No, I think he's a retard, because that'd be the case 99% of the time.

>> No.38061964

>>38061917
He obviously went blind at some point between now and when he participated in that thread.

>> No.38062013

>>38061964
Man, now he'll never be able to read those articles in Playboy either.

>> No.38062297

>>38061953
>>38061654 here. I got a new laptop and am unused to the keyboard. It was a typo. cool your jimmies.

generally when I see people make similar mistakes I generally think that it was either a typo, they where in a rush, or are not native English speaking individuals. Right after I posted that I had to go mow the lawn before neighborhood inspectors came rolling around, so I wasn't paying much attention t where my fingers were landing.

>> No.38062411

>>38057628

>Bitch, I will ass-fuck and face-fuck you serious,
>Fucking faggot bitches Furius and Aurelius
>A thug's gotta love, a man must have a code
>But his sick beats can still take down a chode.
>Cuz' I rap about love you think I can't be hard.
>But my cock rages harder than a cold-steel sword.
>I've raised more boners than a ton of Cialis.
>Bitch, I will ass-fuck and face-fuck you serious.

- Mic Drop

>> No.38062438

>>38062297
I'm not a native speaker myself, either.
But how do you expect me to be able to take your posts seriously if you can't even be bothered to use capital letters?

Also, you're doing that shit again.
>they where in a rush

>> No.38062491

>>38062411
That's actually a remarkably faithful translation, all things considered.
But rhyming hard with sword and serious with Cialis? Detracts from the whole.

>> No.38062512

>>38052888
In Rome, they had miniature sea battles in the Colloseum which was flooded with water and had little ships for gladiators to fight and parish on.

I wish we had something like that today.

>> No.38062589

>>38062512

NOW FOR A SPECIAL TIME ONLY, THE WWE PRESENTS...

... WATER WAR!

>> No.38062611

>>38062491
Please feel free to improve it.

I'm serious.

>> No.38062679
File: 297 KB, 1838x1267, St-Pierre-v-Diaz-UFC-158.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38062679

>>38053020
Of course Anon. As a species, we have clearly evolved past the urge to watch people fight and are well on our way to utopia.

>> No.38063047

>>38062611
I'm not a poet/rapper myself, but I'll try.Here's my attempt:
>Bitch, I'll ass-fuck and face-fuck you, serious,
>Fucking faggot bitches Furius and Aurelius.
>A thug's gotta love and a nigga has his code,
>But my sick beats can take down any old chode.
>Cuz I rap about love, I can't be ballin'?
>Shut the fuck up, or my sword will be fallin'.
>I get bitches wetter than the sea,
>Nigga, you can't even match me,
>Not when I'm calm and not when I'm furious.
>Bitch, I'll ass-fuck you and face-fuck you, serious.

- Mic Drop

I wanted to work in a Mare Nostrum reference there, but Latin and English don't exactly rhyme that well.

>> No.38063413

>>38057138
>>38057169
Whats the source for these illustrations? I see em on this board, or at least similar ones for other cultures (greek, celtic, etc)
I assume they're from a book series?

>> No.38063606

>>38063413
Osprey Men at Arms.
They take quite a bit of license with those, but they're a decent source if you want an overview or inspiration.

>> No.38063634

>>38052177

What have the Romans ever done for us?

>> No.38063721

>>38063634
Well, they built the aquaduct.

>> No.38063776
File: 297 KB, 500x500, Zhang Jiao religion art.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38063776

>>38054202
Its a well known fact that the Han are a fucking blight and an affront to the heavens

>> No.38063786

>>38063634
Sanitation?

>> No.38063810

>>38063786

All right, I'll grant you that the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done...

>> No.38063831

>>38063786
Yeah. You remember what the city used to be like?

>>38063810
And the roads.

>> No.38063867

>>38063831

Well yes obviously the roads... the roads go without saying. But apart from the aqueduct, the sanitation and the roads, what have the Romans ever done for us?

>> No.38063887

>>38063867

Irrigation!

>> No.38063923

>>38063867
Medecine?

>> No.38064004

>>38063867

Education?

>> No.38064037

>>38063867
And the wine!

>> No.38064041
File: 167 KB, 1016x970, bait.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38064041

>>38063634
Basis for western law. Latin root languages. Dreams of white empire.

It's weak bait sir, but it checks out.

>> No.38064138

>>38064037
>>38064041

All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans ever done for us?

>> No.38064142

>>38064041
*woosh*

>> No.38064167

>>38064138
They brought peace!

>> No.38064176

>>38064041
I prescribe you some Monty Python. Educate yourself.

>> No.38064190

>>38064138
>implying the Romans didn't actually just steal all that from the people they conquered.

>> No.38064199

>>38063867
Public baths?

>> No.38064209

>>38064167

What!? Oh... shut up!

>> No.38064238

>>38064138
And it's safe to walk the streets at night. The Romans really know how to keep order. Let's face it- they're the only ones who could in a place like this.

>>38064041
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9foi342LXQE

>> No.38064289

>>38064190
Jesus Christ, man, it's 2015 and you're on the Internet in a community of tabletop geeks. How the hell do you not have passing familiarity with Monty Python sketches?

>> No.38064317

>>38064289
I know it's a sketch, dammit, but I'm sick of all this Roman-cocksucking. Nothing but a bunch of glorified egocentric bullies the lot of them.

>> No.38064351

>>38055808
Still gonna have to cut his balls off, tho.

>> No.38064358

>>38064317

Imagine that in a few thousand years people will be talking about America-cocksucking in the exact same terms.

>> No.38064385
File: 34 KB, 345x369, 1384543844886.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38064385

>>38064351

Those Jews shouldn't have a problem with a bit of castration, right?

I mean, they already chop off their foreskin!

>> No.38064398

>>38064317
So like anyone else successful that we know about then?

>> No.38064437

>>38064385
Aye now, the last thread that got into a 'skin or no-'skin discussion got lopped right off the board.

Just like that other thing

>> No.38064438

>>38064398

The Chinese Empire, but we Westerners overlook them.

>> No.38064465
File: 389 KB, 437x581, high elves.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38064465

>>38064317
>sketch

>> No.38064478

>>38064176
>Look, if I want the right to become pregnant, I should have that right.

>This is a dead parrot

>Mind if we call you Bruce?

>Confuse a cat!

>Mister Hilter?

>SPAM SPAM EGGS SAUSAGE AND SPAM

Am I educated enough, tg?

>> No.38064518

How do i become a proper patrician of attic history, /tg/? Is Decline and Fall a must read?

>> No.38064519

>>38064478

You don't know the Naughty Vicar Sketch, or the New Cooker Sketch. Watch more.

>> No.38064547

>>38064518

Read De Bello Gallico in the original Latin.

>> No.38064553

>>38064317
>>38064190
Are you one of those blacks who when told about Romans, sputters, "Mu-Muh Phoenicians." or "Buh Carthage an Egypt used to be advance the had all technology and dah whyte man came an stole their airplanes and cures for cancer because they was black an they was peaceful cause Jesus was also black."?
Because if you are, the only cure is suicide. I'm not sure if I'm racist, but when it comes to blacks that actually believe that, I'm willing to say they give their race a bad name.

>> No.38064578

>>38064518

Play Rome Total War.

No, seriously. Play the game and spend the vast majority of your time reading the unit/building descriptions.

Also read The Golden Ass, and buy a book on Primary Sources rather than a secondary source talking about history.

>> No.38064662

>>38064578

Are the unit/building descriptions in Rome II any good?

>> No.38064681

>>38064358
And they'll be just as right about it

>> No.38064685

>>38064553
>Nigger
>Phoencians, Carthage, Egypt
I don't give a shit about any of them, and Rome stole most of its stuff from other Europeans. I'm as white as they come, and I just want credit to be given where it is due.

>> No.38064702

>>38064578

After reading Creasey's 15 greatest battles and watching most of this youtube series (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yocja_N5s1I&list=PLBDA2E52FB1EF80C9&index=1) i've gotten really interested in history. so many fucking incredible stories of luck and avarice. I'd say they should make movies about this era of history more often, but people have their perceptions twisted enough by movies these days.

So i'm always on the look out for more good books and sources of history.

>> No.38064735

>>38064685
And shit was stolen from Romans in return. That's how history goes, broseph.

>> No.38064747

>>38064702
>>38064578

Forgot to mention that i have reinstalled Rome II and i picked up the Divide Et Imperia mod for added realism and detail. It's hard to start as Athens. Maybe i should let the little despots just die out and try to remake the Indus Valley Civilization, but this time with weapons.

>> No.38064759

>>38064681

America has had an enormous influence upon the world in the modern era, which will have a legacy as long as Rome's. America gave us the consumer society, telecommunications, nuclear power, free market economics and more.

>> No.38064766
File: 5 KB, 202x222, 4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38064766

>>38052207
Imperium Romanum's face when Charlemagne is crowned Emperor

>> No.38064784
File: 36 KB, 303x475, 1156188.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38064784

>>38064702
>>38064578
>>38064518

This book.

Get this book and love it.

This is 500 pages of nothing but well-translated notes, receipts, letters, stories, and transcripts taken from the Foundation of Rome to the Fall of the Western Empire.

>> No.38064785

>>38064702

I'm $25,000 into a History Degree, and let me tell you there is noting worse then Post Modern History.

>> No.38064804

>>38064785

Do tell.

>> No.38064813
File: 99 KB, 993x805, 1400124322612.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38064813

>>38064766

>Pic related.

>> No.38064815
File: 69 KB, 400x394, LLCRSuf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38064815

>>38064519
Darn, I thought I had it pinned down with the Confuse a Cat sketch. Never heard that one quoted.

Well, guess I'll have to deposit my string, odd rocks, and drier lint at the bank and become a kamikaze highlander. Then I'll eat a banana.

>> No.38064841

>>38064784

One click bought. Thanks.

Shit, after i learn all about Rome i'll have to give Foundation a re-read to see if i can pick up on nuances i missed before.

>> No.38064911

>>38055365
who is orange man?

>> No.38064983

>>38064804

Post Modern History essentially shits on everything a Historian takes for granted, like believing the History he/she is reading is the actual history and that an accurate rendition of the past can be reconstructed by the fragments remaining.

For example, my least favorite, the Historian Hayden White and his Narrative Theory. In short, historians turn the past into “histories” by writing stories that impose order, structure, and coherence onto a past that is fundamentally chaotic and without order or meaning. Histories, however accurate they might try to be, however faithful they are to the evidence and to the experiences of people in the past, are always allegories. They are stories not only about the past, but about the present. They are stories not only about the particular experiences of particular people at a particular time and place in the past, but about the human experience in all times and all places. Symbolic characters, actions, and settings connect stories about the past to the present, as do the mythic plots through which those stories unfold.

>> No.38064989

>>38064911
Dirty Engrish barbars.

>> No.38065006
File: 30 KB, 239x346, 51qh9vgeLaL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38065006

>>38064784
>>38064841

>mfw the book opens with a discussion on what won Augustus the Empire, and it wasn't armies nor strategy, but a stellar propaganda campaign.

You're in for an amazing read, anon.

And if you want to *continue* your studies on the Empire well into the Byzantine Age, I'd recommend picking up pic related. It is quite easily one of the comfiest, readable, "sit out on the porch and read" books you'll ever get concerning history.

>> No.38065027
File: 33 KB, 310x299, 267732_516428898378474_2004854129_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38065027

>>38064983

>> No.38065064

>>38064983

That sounds almost reasonable, do people take it too far? Like how philosophy of science is just the trolling of established facts?

Also, History Degree? I thought people joining spacex had lofty dreams.

>> No.38065079

>>38065006
>>mfw the book opens with a discussion on what won Augustus the Empire, and it wasn't armies nor strategy, but a stellar propaganda campaign.
Those two probably helped, though. And we got things like the Aeneid and Livius' works out of that propaganda. Some of it is still believed today.

>> No.38065093

>>38065006

No reason to omit half the empire. I'll get that one too.

>> No.38065202

>>38065064

White describes Historians as “marked by a desire for a kind of order and fullness in an account of reality that remains theoretically unjustified, a desire that is . . . purely gratuitous.”

Not what you want to be regarded as, someone with a desperate need to be able to show that there are trends in history and historic processes. Otherwise how does anything happen? History isn't just an endless series of chaotic events that are not connected with one another. The Nazis didn't just spring out of nowhere. Isis didn't just pop into existence.

That is why I hate White. Because he denies the agency of History.

>> No.38065282

>>38054462
Clever bastard.

>> No.38065324

>>38064983
Aw shit man.

I did history to A-Level, so I understand the need to know the context a source was written in, to note that some people (most, to an extent) will apply their own structure to events that happened to fit their worldview etc, but that just sounds like people are taking it way too far.

Even with their own structures, narratives, biases and prejudices those histories and first-hand accounts are all very valid

>> No.38065391
File: 45 KB, 452x363, 1423176201875.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38065391

>>38064784

>mfw they get to the section where the letters are discussing how round, large and full the breasts of your wet-nurse should be, which wife is the bigger slut, or lamentations on the whorish ways of Roman women.

For real though, this and the Byzantine History book mentioned after give the most thorough explanation on what caused the Crisis of the Second Century I've ever seen, while also giving you an insightful look at how the Romans viewed Christians, and why they were hated.

>> No.38065406

>>38065324

The problem with most Post-Modern Historians is that they basically say that History in fundamentally unknowable, that all we can get are biased and untrue fragments.

Another one is David Harlan. He says that because narrative theory means that word meaning change it means that ‘Historians should simply drop the question of what counts as legitimate history and accept the fact that, like every other discipline in the humanities, they do not have, and are not likely to have, a formalized, widely accepted set of research procedures, and that nothing helpful or interesting is likely to come from attempts to define one.’

His answer is that the historian cannot expect to find the intentions of the author in the text, and thus should not even bother. Instead the historian should ‘(re-educate) the ancient author while simultaneously rendering the relevant residue accessible to contemporary readers.’ In short historians should take the past out of the past, not try and recapture what is impossible to extrapolate, and instead use the text based on its potential for informing the present.

>> No.38065453

>>38064784
The other volume seems very hard to find.

>> No.38065459

>>38065406
I am unable to understand what I'm reading here

>> No.38065527

>>38065459

Basically, textual interpretations such as those made by historians can not rely on expecting to know the context or the intention of the author contained within the text.

The postmodern literary criticism had rendered all the old conceptions of language as it applies to history false. First, the meaning of words over time is not static. Much like history itself, words change and are reinvented. And this means that trying to understand the past through the study of such texts expecting the meaning to be unchanged hits a roadblock, as the meaning of those texts is no longer the meaning they had when they were written. That you cannot rely on the intent of the original author to be preserved in the text, and that the interpretation of the text is coloured by the historian’s own perspectives so much that is obscures the original meaning of it.

The faults in using text to establish meaning lie in the very nature of language. Language is an artificial construct that does not accurately show the world as it really is, and the meaning of words has no relation to what those words represent, and are not shackled to the concept of language. So expecting words to preserve the meaning of the past is a fallacy.

Two wars of Postmodern History has done this to me.

>> No.38065533

>>38065459

Not that anon, but he is saying the problem with Post Modern historians is that they claim history is inherently unknowable because every time someone TRIES to write history down, it turns into a novel-like narrative.

>Cladius then Conquered the Gauls, but was subverted on the homefront by the perfidious Gaius, who united the Greeks under his banner to invade Southern Italy.

That's the kind of thing Post Modernists get all huffy about, history that reads less like "history" and more like a story.

>> No.38065549

>>38065459
Not the op, but:
There is no point in trying to accurately understand what the past was like. Just use "history" to make better decisions today.
It does indeed sound like a crok o shit

>> No.38065584

>>38065453

http://www.amazon.com/Roman-Civilization-Selected-Readings-Republic/dp/0231071310

>> No.38065600

>>38065533
This one I can understand but I don't see what's the problem with that

>> No.38065610

>>38065459
basically he's saying post-modernist history is all about rewriting the context to suit whatever you want.

>> No.38065618

>>38065527
>The faults in using text to establish meaning lie in the very nature of language. Language is an artificial construct that does not accurately show the world as it really is, and the meaning of words has no relation to what those words represent, and are not shackled to the concept of language. So expecting words to preserve the meaning of the past is a fallacy.

Hands down what I dislike the most of post-modernism. Eventually, everything is revealed to be relative and a moot point.
2+2 can =5!

>> No.38065637

>>38055161
>mfw i live in his city
is nice, retarded people tho

>> No.38065655

>>38065600

It's propaganda, even when the historian doesn't try to make it propaganda.

Imagine the difference between an Austrian nobleman writing about the Romans compared to, say, a British Victorian studying in Egypt writing about the Romans.

>> No.38065707

>>38065610
>>38065618

This is why I love this place. People understand when I vent about how much I hate Post-Modern History, even though the University History Department is in love with it and make it mandatory for masters work. I want to be actually studying History, not looking over why History is a lie and rewritable and relative.

>> No.38065741

>>38065707
I know what you mean. They even tried to shove that shit onto us for a psych & sociology class, and I'm a CompSci major.
Shit was bizarre.

>> No.38065805

>>38065741
This is why I loved my Philosophy class

Disregard sophists, seek wisdom of the Forms.

>>38065707
>>38065741
also what universities are these? I would like to know so that I may avoid them and/or laugh at them.

>> No.38065808

>>38065707
Love my supervisor for my thesis.
He does not really care too much for post-modern theory, and advises me "Eh, throw in this author so you can say you covered gender in your lit review"

I do think that the re-writeability of history can be a valid point, it certainly is in my topic
>whig history, whig history everywhere! Destroy! Destroy!

But taking it to a point to invalidate history and, by the end of the rabbit hole, knowledge and observation itself, is just silly.

>> No.38065840

>>38065618
2.4 rounds to 2
2.4 rounds to 2
2.4 + 2.4 = 4.8, which rounds to 5.

This is can be relevant, can be useless.
Much like the variable context of history. All you have to do is make sure you're paying attention when you do it.

>>38065527
Language changes, sure, but we've recorded how, for the most part.
And even with the changes in language we've used to record the changes in language, to say it's "unknowable" is retarded

>> No.38065845

>>38059341
>Half horse, half dick
>>>/mlp/

>> No.38065870

>>38065584
Not in America, all the copies on Amazon are very expensive second hand ones. No other book site I checked has any.

>> No.38065965

>>38065805

I went to Ohio State University and the only time I heard about Post-Modernist History was when we had to learn that it was a thing that existed.

>> No.38065970

>>38065840
My point was more that intellectuals making such a statement don't bother involving themselves in the sciences, but still argue that because all language is socially constructed, such a statement is true. Because nothing is concrete.

I agree with paying attention to context. Of course an author from 1840 is going to write history differently than we will, and our personal agendas will pop up. But combining that with the logical extreme of social constructs renders everything pointless and kills further discussion.

>> No.38065996

>>38065741
This is one thing I've never really understood about higher education in the US - how does doing random subjects work with the rest of your degree, both for education and practically? (literally, how does this work, I've never quite worked out the system?)

>> No.38066062

>>38065805

You don't have to fear, my University is a long way away from either Europe, Africa, Asia or America.

>> No.38066065

>>38065805
>what universities are these.
Belgium. It was supposed to be a class on how to make non-shit interfaces, but it derailed rather spectacularly into shit pretty quick.
>>38065996
Fuck if I know, mate. I'm not an Americlap.

>> No.38066176

>>38066065
>>38066062
Good, I'm going to attend Texas Tech next semester, and hopefully won't have to deal with that kinda stuff.

>>38065996
The "idea" is to insure students are more versatile in their knowledge base, and will have experience with other subjects just in case thier plans and hopes for thier major aren't what they thought them to be.

Granted it doesn't always work that way, and is usually more trouble than its worth, but you do get a decent amount of people who end up changing thier mind about thier majors and being able to transition easily due to it.

it still sucks though, i hated having to take psych, though I will admit I greatly enjoyed my Philosophy and Intro to World Religions classes.

>> No.38066222

>>38066065
But you're doing CompSci and had a psych & sociology class, how does it work?

For reference, English Uni, doing engineering and the most off-topic we get is a Business thing, which (though shitty and dull) is at least used in a few places we're likely to end up working, and the shitty lecturer has personally been called on to use it in a few engineering companies.
sorry about blogposting

>> No.38066294

>>38065996

Not just in the US, down here as well as History I did Geography, Paleontology, German and Music.

>> No.38066337

>>38066222
For your Associates you have to complete your "Core" which is mainly a few classes for you major, and a few non-related basic classes to make sure you still remember what you learned in high-school. It also is there so that you develop other skills besides your singular specialization and gives yu a greater respect for the other fields of study.

>> No.38066490

>>38066176
I guessed it'd be something like that, but it still seems odd.

>>38066294
Huh.

There's a lot more specialisation in the UK.
We start "trimming" subjects at about 14, and the closest thing I can think of with multiple subjects is my friend doing History and Archeology. Which is one degree, and he got to pick from a few optional units, though he had to pick one.

>> No.38066502

>>38052234
Rome was genuinely the greatest civilization of its time. China, Iran, and India at the time just couldn't compare, and those who think otherwise are usually just being contrarian. Getting an erection for Rome isn't half as bad as viking faggotry.

That said, it's still pretty annoying how obsessive some autists get, especially the obnoxious shit you get on 4chan.

>> No.38066521

>>38066222
CompSci is how I translated it. We call it Informatica or Computer Sciences.
Also, "psych & sociology" was probably not the ideal term, but it did have some guest seminars from a sociology professor from another part of the country, with a horrid accent. Those were about sociology, but also boring as shit. Bombed that part of the exam, let me tell you.
The way it works here is that we have core classes, mostly. Like certain domains of programming, maths, or other IT shit like databases, or what I'm currently doing, "theory of computation".
If you fail classes, you do them again next year, but you can also take some from the second year, if you're qualified for them.
I failed two courses and I have like 3 lessons a week at most.
Optional courses are something for the third year of the ideal five, and are used to let you learn about other fields, like economics/physics/psychology, shit like that.

Just for reference, I'm also >>>38057720

>> No.38066574

>>38066337
Is an Associates like a Bachelor's?

>> No.38066674

>>38066574
Its what you get before the Bachelor's.

It basically means "I fulfilled the beginning class requirements of most college, now other colleges can't slap me with them."

its also kinda treated as the "Highschool Diploma 2.0" and is generally considered what you need to at least start with if you wanna get a technical job on the side of working towards your Bachelor's

>> No.38066676

>>38066574

Associates is like Pre-Bachelor, beyond a select few fields it's little more than a "I kind of know a little about this but I really need to go back and get a Bachelors."

>> No.38066830

>>38052387
>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread
;_;
>That day I was a creator not a killer.

>> No.38067098

>>38066830
Shit's deep mang, shit's deep.

Especially when Secvndvs has been around.

>>38066674
>>38066676
Isn't it 4 years?

>> No.38067179

>>38067098
2 years for your Associate, 2-4 years for the Bachelor, depending on the Major.

>> No.38067333
File: 104 KB, 800x467, rome1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38067333

>>38067179
Ah, that make sense.
I'd heard college was 4, 2+2 for Bachelor and Associate makes more sense now.

>> No.38067339

>>38056342
>I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

>anon after a month of /tg/

>> No.38067461

>>38056342
to be fair, that's great advice, never fuck something that will bite you in the ass.

>> No.38067511

>>38052387
>Hectice, baby, Mercator says hello to you

>If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend

>I don’t want to sell my husband, not for all the gold in the world

>Crescens is sweet and charming

So corny and cute.

>> No.38067545

>>38067461
Fucking a fire doesn't bite your ass, it burns your dick. Unless the fire is doing the fucking?

>> No.38067550

>>38052387
R O M A
O
M
A

this meme is so old

>> No.38067598

>>38067545
depends on the fire.

>> No.38067661

>>38052435
The High Elves

>> No.38067679

>>38065970

This infectious school of non-thought is everywhere these days and is solely the cause of philosophy. Look up Qualia to see the equivalent of nonsensical post-modern history drek.

>> No.38067689

>>38067511
Fvck off Valentine

>> No.38067814

>>38067679
I dread with curious anticipa-

>> No.38067919

>>38067689
why? today is his day afterall.

>> No.38068077

>>38067679

>most things cannot be proven to 100% certainty

>everyone flips the fuck out

>sets up several schools of thought which do nothing but exploit this technical loophole

>FTL is truth, and bigfoot, and redness, and history is just your opinion, man.

I want off this wild ride.

>> No.38068123

>>38068077
How can you ever be certain that you're off it?

>> No.38068164

>>38068077
The problem with bigfoot is that he's blurry.
And that is extra scary to me.
Cuz that means there is a large, out of focus mosnter, roaming the country-side.

>> No.38068206

>>38068164

The Official Explanation is that bigfoot has mind powers. So he knows when you're looking at him and taking a picture and uses telekinesis to adjust the focus of the camera, or he runs off at mach two because he's a forest spirit as well.

>> No.38068330

>>38052435
Persian empire. Not contemporary, but even earlier. The Parthians are heirs to that empire.

The Scythians. They had a huge nomadic empire, encompassing many Turkic peoples.

>> No.38068392

>>38068330
Hello Eumenes, how is Alexander doing these days?

>> No.38068393

>>38068206
The coast salish people have really interesting understanding of bigfoot. He just comes and goes, and should be left alone.

Runs off? Man, forest spirit doesn't have to run anywhere. It just ceases to exist in our world.
I need to go back to the Frasier River valley....

>> No.38068427

>>38068393

Fuck the salish. IT'S THE PUGET SOUND, GODDAMNIT.

>> No.38068454

>>38057001
that's the point, fool

>> No.38068482

>>38068206
My grandfather claimed to have met Bigfoot.
He claimed he was actually a she.

>> No.38068538
File: 947 KB, 476x253, nope.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38068538

>>38068077
You fucking joke, but I've seen journalists claim that since complete objectivity is impossible, there's no point in even trying.

>> No.38068544

>>38068482
By any chance, did your father assign the nickname "my mother-in-law" to the bigfoot he encountered?

>> No.38068634
File: 23 KB, 258x195, download (8).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38068634

>>38068538

I'm not even joking. I wish i was. You can't prove that it's not possible means it must be possible to so fucking many people these days. I don't even know. Is it because people tried to educate them about science, but did so in such a piecemeal dumbed down way that it just made things worse?

We gave them logical tools, but we didn't teach them how to responsibly use them, and now it's out to get us.

>the reaction to this tidal chart

>> No.38068648

>>38068544
No, and thats the spooky part.

plus he was a Oglala Medicine Man, so I'm inclined to either believe him, or believe he was tripping on something.

>> No.38068661

>>38068482

After Les Stroud and Joe Rogan endorsed it, all my friends started to believe.

I fucking hate Joe Rogan. He's the Ur-example of "i'm too smart to believe that fact"

>> No.38068683

>>38053603
Well apparently a Chinese delegation visited Augustus and later either Anonius Pius or Marcus Aurelius sent a delegation to China (both used Antonius in their names, and Chinese history records an embassy sent by Andun 'king of Daqin. Daqin means great China and is the most common name used by Chinese sources for Rome)

And then there is the Weilue, a text that describes the Roman empire as a sort of almost utopia. Of course it was written in the middle of the three kingdom period and claims that the Romans are originally Chinese.

>> No.38068712

>>38068482
I once knew an old guy from Colorado who claims to have seen a bigfoot with young while hunting as a young man.

>> No.38068809

>>38068482

My name is Daryl. I have a problem.

>> No.38068881
File: 194 KB, 613x800, 3679356_orig.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
38068881

>>38068427
The coast salish also have history in Oregon and Puget Sound, and I was talking more about the Chehalis people in the Fraser river area that have a fantastic sasquatch motif, but whatever floats your boat, bud.

>>
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