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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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37253856 No.37253856 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Climb up the tower
>Find the captured Princess
>She nervously greets you
>Then she farts

Wow, thanks, DM. Thanks for totally subverting the whole putting-women-on-a-pedestal business. Very modern.

Ms. Thundercheeks can save herself.

>> No.37253878


Wait, you think that's him being a feminist?

Seems more like he's going magical realm on you.

>> No.37253894
File: 29 KB, 859x679, Exactly Why.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Then she farts

>> No.37253917
File: 137 KB, 603x403, Wordscannot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Dammit... that made me laugh way harder than it should have.

>> No.37253927

So what

it's a shrek campaign?

>> No.37253930

But anon, wimmin farts smell like daisies or dandelions.

>> No.37253959

And that's why the PCs should take turns under her skirt

>> No.37255565

Obviously they need to fine a party that can all make DC 80 and go investigate what makes it different

>> No.37255624

oh hello Lord Kevin the Anal Assassin, Destroyer of Digestive Tracts.

>> No.37255634

Your DM wouldn't happen to be the guy who posts all the onara stuff on /f/? Definitely magical realm.

>> No.37255735

I shudder to think of what sort of encounters a party may find in a princess's ass

>> No.37255748

>Thanks for totally subverting the whole putting-women-on-a-pedestal business.
But he's still putting her on a pedestal...

The pedestal of a thousand fartfapper dicks.

>> No.37255754

That sounds hilarious, now I know what'll get my party with.

>> No.37255758

Welp, time to bring out the Random Appendix Encounters Table.

>> No.37256137

Or just making a fart joke.

>> No.37259518

Where's that pathfinder shit succubus again?

>> No.37260593

>a girl farted
>it must be a fetish
Bro come on it's just butt stuff

>> No.37260603
File: 196 KB, 1280x463, tumblr_ncc1bqH5ND1sb49q1o1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Hey, last time I saved a princess...

>> No.37260617


If he's the sort of person who finds fart jokes funny, that's even worse than farts being magical realm.


Dude clearly wants his idealized woman to fart like a chimney.

>> No.37260634

You've successfully traversed the Piss forest and defeated the brown dragon! Now that you've conquered fart tower, you may free the demure and gustful Princess Thundercheeks!

>> No.37260677
File: 2.85 MB, 550x400, brick son of wall.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You think you got it bad?

>> No.37260692

Now I want to be that DM and run pure magical realms campaign.

>> No.37260706


>the evil sorceress has captured the party

>has them all strung up and stripped down to their skivvies in her dungeon

>she talks about how much she'll delight in torturing and then sacrificing them to her dark gods

>then she starts trying to seduce one of the party, enticing him with endless carnal pleasures if he'll betray his friends

>suddenly she lets loose a fart so loud her loincloth flutters

>> No.37260719

>she tries to blame it on someone else

>> No.37260720

Are your players bad enough dudes to stop the bondage wizards who lurk beyond the wall of boners? Can they stop their evil plan to summon an army of tentacle wizards to invade the Futa Kingdom?

>> No.37260733


>while blushing furiously

>> No.37260757

And they said spending all my gold on that Ring of Create Farts was a terrible idea! Now who's laughing?!

>> No.37260766


>Ring of Create Farts

Oh please, that name is so obsolete. It's called a Band of Inducing Flatulence nowadays.

>> No.37260768

fart jokes are bad but i will take them over mensturation jokes anyday

>> No.37260773

I prefer to call it a Circlet of Southern Winds

>> No.37260775

dont rings generaly affect the wearer you would be better off with some sort of lenses of create fart

>> No.37260782


Or a Wand of Windbreaking

>> No.37260836

>and an erection.

>> No.37260924


Oh goddamnit, who used a ray of Polymorph: Trap on the evil sorceress? Dave, I swear to god I'll kill you if you do this to every hot woman we meet.

>> No.37261059

Boobs fall everybody dies. The invasion can't be stopped.

>> No.37261095

"Southern Winds" is now one of my favorite euphemisms.

>> No.37261266
File: 29 KB, 396x400, 3d4[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Thanks for totally subverting the whole putting-women-on-a-pedestal business.
If he were really subverting it, it would involve a ladyknight risking her life to save a handsome and charming prince. But of course we can't have that happen because men are useless anyway. We can't have a woman breaking a nail over something as trivial as a mans life.

>> No.37261793

Then let the knightess save a pretty and charming princess, build man-free world and if anyone questions it, blame the wizard in the sky.

>> No.37261831

a Circlet is like a tiara and not a ring

>> No.37261879
File: 58 KB, 600x600, 1403785127090.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why would she build a man-free world if she loves the prince? Why wouldn't she marry him and live happily ever after?

>> No.37261924
File: 552 KB, 1280x710, pam.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>climb a tower to rescue the princess
>finally arrive at her chamber
>see this
>wat do

>> No.37261995
File: 86 KB, 420x236, Emilia_flustered.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Then she farts

>> No.37262009
File: 118 KB, 490x375, [chivalry intensifies].gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.37262023

Well close the door and ask if she got paper, i'm a chivalrous man after all.
The woman has her rights to finish what she started.

>> No.37262053

>Smough's twin sister.jpg
also > implying you're not into that kinda stuff

>> No.37262069


>implying that's not my fetish

>> No.37262072
File: 236 KB, 670x900, Dark.Sun.Gwyndolin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.37262086

>Big bad evil knight has captured the party
>Party is stripped of their gear and tied up at center of camp
>Evil knight stands in front of us and his army and mocks us for our failure
>Starts giving a speech to inspire his troops and belittle us
>Suddenly he farts so loudly it's as though someone blew a trumpet to herald it's arrival.

>> No.37262110

>He tries to blame it on someone else

>> No.37262127

While blushing furiously

>> No.37262186

>and an erection

Wait a minute... Have we been here before?

>> No.37262213

So, Adventure Time > Slayers, then?

>> No.37262217

Lewd Souls when, Japan?

>> No.37262227

>Big evil red dragon has captured the party
>Party is stripped of their gear and paralyzed with a spell
>The red dragon stands before the party and mocks them for their weakness and failure
>Starts monologuing on how he's going to eat you and then fly down and destroy the village that sent you and how none will survive his wrath
>Suddenly he farts so loudly that his gold pile has a miniature avalanche

>> No.37262234

That wasn't a joke, that was plot device. And it only happened once.
Heck, Berserk did the same and nobody complained.

>> No.37262245

>He tries to blame it on someone else

>> No.37262293
File: 86 KB, 2000x1952, 2000px-Texas_flag_map.svg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Fuck you texas

>> No.37262300

>while blushing furiously

>> No.37262460

>With an erection
Wait a second....

>> No.37262705

>Smough's twin sister

She must be a cannibal as well.
I would allow her to eat me whole.

>> No.37263406

>Party lies defeated
>The princess devours them one by one
>As she sits back and relishes her victory she lets out a fart so loud it shakes the whole tower
>"Ugh, why do adventurers always give me gas?"

>> No.37263675

All I can hear in my head is her saying, "Took ya long enough! What, d'you get lost in some elf's vagina on the way over? Jeez!"

>> No.37263739

Never, Japan is all about that dere Rapan!
No please for Lewds.

>> No.37263798

What section of the book was that in, again?

>> No.37266397

>yfw she says she's fine on the paper part but asks you to come in there with her, she doesn't feel like yelling through the door if she needs anything

>> No.37266536

First, I roll for intuition or whatever it's called in whatever game we are playing to sense if she has a motive other than that.
Then I do what is an trap or illusion check to see that nothing is foul, even if i'm shit at it.
Then I agree to it and get devoured by the farting mimic.

Then I punch the DM in the face.

>> No.37266965
File: 2.72 MB, 385x280, 1392222175419.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not as good as the original

>> No.37267333

Meh. If you're going to subvert the classic damsel in distress archetype, I think making the damsel an awkward Tomoko Kuroki-like social retard is better than doing what everybody else does, and making her the "rebellious tomboy who is also a strong, confident woman who don't need no man".

>> No.37267624

There is absolutely no reason that should hit me right in the feels every time I see it. And yet it does.

>> No.37267699

Poor wall

>> No.37269003


>Big evil lich has captured the party
>Party is stripped of their gear and paralyzed with a spell
>The lich stands before them, mocking their idiocy and weak wills.
>Starts monologuing on how he'll turn them into his undead minions, bind their souls to eternal service
>Suddenly he farts loudly. Somehow.

>> No.37269038

best story ever concieved by man

>> No.37269097


>He tries to blame it on someone else.

>> No.37269118

>blushes furiously, despite no longer have bloodflow in his cheeks

>> No.37269144

>and an erection. Again, without having blood

>> No.37269172

>be princess
>waiting for months to be rescued
>physically exhausted and emotionally drained at all times
>fed terrible prisoner food
>sick fairly often
>prince finally shows up while I'm constipated from lack of liquids and bad food
>so excited to finally be freed that I accidentally fart
>hero gives me a terrible look like I'm disgusting but I'm so relieved to escape that I don't care

You're an asshole op

>> No.37269173
File: 245 KB, 400x200, laughing skelly 2.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I think you mean "and a boner"

>> No.37269187

You know, for some reason I feel a bit of deja vu coming over me.

>> No.37269243
File: 12 KB, 183x199, spy sappin my life.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

h-heck no

>> No.37269302

what does Best State have to do with any of this?

>> No.37269397

>Best State
>Not the Land of Beer and Cheese that is Wisconsin

>> No.37269412

>be evil mastermind dragon overlord
>Captured princess of the local kingdom for both bragging rights and an monthly bribe to keep her alive.
>You just know an undefeatable foe will soon arrive and in your own godly intelligence you come up with a brilliant plan.
>Buying in the very cheap and very lazy brown halflings from the desert kingdom mejihoh, you make them cook their famous bean only based cuisine.
>Suddenly hero appears
>You promptly fucks off before he can lend the final blow
>Suddenly, as you see them ride off into the distant you hear the sound, the sound of your poison to their leviathan
>It echos over the woods, across the valley and even to the close by kingdom of sand and beans.
>And a great silence, a silence that tells you the sweetest future, the best kind of revenge of the failed line of the king as the princess will be forever known as a gassy ass bitch.
>Everything according to plan.

>> No.37269523


>> No.37269687

>Then I agree to it and get devoured by the farting mimic.
No mimic, the princess is just such a condescending bitch that she doesn't even regard "peasants" like yourselves as people and would rather keep a servant near than put forth any extra effort

>> No.37269750

>She must be a cannibal as well.
How else do you think she got that big?
A steady diet of adventurers keep her big, strong, and gassy

>> No.37269943
File: 48 KB, 200x180, 139656602896.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mfw this entire thread

>> No.37269967

What are you talking about?
There's nothing wrong with gassy princesses
Or princesses on the "throne"
Or gassy giantess cannibal amazons
Or gassy dragons

>> No.37269980

>Thinking that literal gas is lewd

>> No.37270038
File: 161 KB, 480x360, averageDM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.37270091

s-purple is based.

>> No.37270092

>The entire party suddenly wants to work for her

>> No.37270414

>Evil succubus temptress has captured the party
>Party is stripped of their clothing and put under a paralysis spell
>The succubus stands before them stark naked, mocking their weak wills and genitalia
>Starts monologuing about how she'll corrupt them and suck out their souls
>Suddenly she farts so loudly the charmed guards outside can hear it through the walls.

>> No.37270521

>Doesn't look the least bit embarrassed
>Just laughs at her own fart and the party's reactions
>Asks the party if they liked the preview of what's going to happen to their souls when she's done

>> No.37270730

>Party blushes furiously

>> No.37270780


>> No.37270845

Good point, they're hanging there naked
>Whole party is sporting hard-ons
>Succubus just laughs more and asks who's first

>> No.37270919

>Succubus uses magic
>Party's penii are replaced with vaginas and the succubus grows a penis for each party member
>She simultaneously fucks each party member with his own penis

>> No.37270930

Dark Souls is already pretty lewd, with its trap boy boss, gigantic titty monster goddess, twin tittyspiders, and barefoot Priscilla (which is explicitly barefoot because the head honcho liked it).

>> No.37270939


>> No.37271011

The hyperforeign Latinate penii is occasionally used as the plural in modern English.

>> No.37271039 [SPOILER] 
File: 253 KB, 550x700, 1420851050956.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>The succubus does this and may other lewd acts all while mocking the party over how much they're enjoying it and how quickly they're becoming her little fucktoys
>Throughout each "torture" the gassy succubus fills the room more and more with her overwhelmingly rancid yet addicting scent

Lets keep this story or a succubus capturing, corrupting, and turning adventurers into fart gas clean anon

>> No.37271155

This thread is now sponsored by both Slannesh and Nurgle. Keep the heresy has flowing anons.

>> No.37271412

Not enough Khorne.

>> No.37271451

The succubus is this girl >>37260603, she has a huge femdom streak and enjoys beating the party into submission

>> No.37271557

>Random Appendix Encounters Table
RAET my gut?

>> No.37271610

Someone, anyone, please screencap the series of "farts, blame, blushing, erection" posts for great justice.

>> No.37271845

Except for Leberecht the Destroyer.
Tim, I know you made that character just for an occasion like this so fuck you.

>> No.37271866

but if its a wand the sorceress would take it off you

>> No.37271993

yes yes we have

>> No.37272018

oh god my sides

>> No.37272059

>fart fetish shit
So what is it going to take to clean up /tg/'s board culture?

>> No.37272076

A different website?

>> No.37272101

So we're going to have to be invaded by a decent website? Excuse me while I go looking for our savior.....

>> No.37272125

huh huh hu

>> No.37272151

>Over time the torment and smell manages to break the party
>Until they're begging for more and more of her gas
>Eventually it fills up the room so much they suffocate
>Succubus just shrugs and devours them one by one
>The succubus temptress has captured a different party
>They are stripped of their clothing and put under a paralysis spell
>She stands before them stark naked, mocking their weak wills and genitalia
>Starts monologuing about how she'll corrupt them and suck out their souls
>Suddenly she farts so loudly the charmed guards outside can hear it through the walls....

>> No.37272211

people have all sorts of fetishes anon you cant just go to a community and expect everybody to be into the same things

>> No.37272858

This. When I read OP I imediatelly thought of her.
It would be a fun premise, a princess that spent so much time locked on a tower with so little human contact that she has absolutely no idea how to behave in social situations.

>> No.37273932

>go on quest to save princess
>dont even get paid til its done, everything has been out of pocket so far
>finally beat up everything to get to her
>she doesnt even seem happy to be rescued, just acting awkward and shy
>then she farts

>> No.37273965

>she tries to blame it on someone else

>> No.37273980


There's nothing "random" about it, anon.

You're gonna find the appendix.

>> No.37274171
File: 681 KB, 831x1200, Power Cock.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.37274249

>tfw I have succubi as my primary fetish
>and very few things honestly that I DON'T have a fetish for
>but farting is one of them

>> No.37274337

So...Aroused or disgusted?

>> No.37274398

>With an erection

>> No.37274577

Oh, I was getting there talking about "saturating the room with addictive gasses". I could deal with that.
But then sudden slapstick of thunderous fart-noise at the end moves my mind from "mistress take me" to "Madam, you are uncouth"

>> No.37274798

The bit after the Later is almost word for word from the first bit of green in that post chain, it's just showing the events are repeating themselves with another party

>> No.37274860

Doesn't make the mental image of it any less abruptly percussive.

>> No.37274931

Meh, just ignore the last line then, it's only there for completeness

>> No.37275032


>> No.37276787

What if I make everybody roll a "try not to fart" check at some point during every social interaction? It's not a hard check, the dice just failed her.

>> No.37276855

Pretty sure we all have a ring of create farts

>> No.37276875

If you would let someone stay in isolation and danger after coming all that way because they had a nervous poot you're a fucking child and should throw yourself out of the tower window.

>> No.37276901
File: 58 KB, 333x286, I'm getting too chivalrous for this shit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>climb up the tower
>find the princess
>she's the daughter of a bloodthirsty but recently deposed tyrant, and she's far worse than her father
Now what the fuck do I do?
Rescue her, knowing that she's next in line to the throne and will make her realm even worse than the hellhole it was with her father on the throne?
Leave her, saving possibly millions but betraying my code?

Also, the dragon I just killed, indeed the last of its kind, was pregnant.

>> No.37277007

>Princess builds tower, fills it full of monsters, and spreads rumors of her own kidnapping
>Specifically to attract knights strong enough to over come it
>They're the only things she considers worthy of her refined palate
Your party has just reached the princess and learned all this
Wat do?

>> No.37277012

Literally butthurt.

>> No.37277061

Act like dense chivalrous types, of course. Damnit, where's that screenshot where the paladin is blueballing the succubus that's trying to seduce him when you need it?

>> No.37277133


rape her to make the next heir, kill the mom when its born, raise kid great.

>> No.37277169

eat dead dragon baby with new tyrant, teach her meaning of love

become king

>> No.37277194

>Act like you don't understand what she means
>While she plans to eat you
>While she's big enough to probably just swallow party members whole
I don't think you've thought this through

>> No.37277210


Rescue her, but keep her at some sort of camp, and feel her bullshit that factions are vying to kill her and her father, but that with the power of dragons, they could overcome. Leave her at the camp fora while. Find the father's group and sow dissent and imply that the daughter thinks that the father is old and weak and that she should command his followers. Concoct and elaborate ruse where it looks like her group has you killed for revealing her plot. Get back to her, looking like hell, and state that her father has gone insane and thinks she is plotting against him and will have her killed. Ptit the two against each other and at the climax say whoever wins gets the power of the dragon. Then the winner gets the power. Of dragonfire. To their face. Mop up the rest of the dissenters and ride into the sunset to train yourself a dragon mount of supreme justice.

>> No.37277329

Oh, I thought you were talking about her SEXUAL palate, like, she can only get off if her partner is covered in dragon blood after busting through the door or something.

>> No.37277411
File: 19 KB, 232x239, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>there are people on /tg/ right now with a fetish for excrement

>> No.37277472

There are people on /tg/ right now with a fetish for everything, why is that surprising?

>> No.37277509

Makes me think a party gets to her, she spouts off her evil plan to eat them and they horribly misunderstand and think she's hitting on them and respond in kind

>> No.37277522

>fetish for everything
I have a fetish for ragged clothes and/or bandages. I need my fix.

>> No.37277556

Request mummy smut on /wst/ then, I've think they've already done a few

>> No.37277630

>Party shrinks down enough to enter the Royal Anus
>Encounter Digesters, a unicorn or two, and the occasional Otyugh
>Don't tell anyone about those though, you'll lose your head
>Final boss is a delver

>> No.37277659

Actually I was thinking something along the lines of urchin attire, y'know, old clothes with tears and stitches and holes; along with bandages to supplement any more exposed skin.

Though it doesn't arouse me, it's my perfect eyecandy.

>> No.37277699

May still want to ask that, they got a few drawfags that'd probably pick it up

>> No.37277741

The question is what, exactly, are we gonna encounter at the appendix.
Gut Goblins? Intestinal Insects? A Nazi Zombie Bugbear? We need to know what's gonna happen when we get there.

>> No.37277762

Moving shit walls are probably common

>> No.37277917

The wand is a tattoo on your 'wand'.

>> No.37277984

Well for one thing apparently it's a princess not a prince.

>> No.37279095

>Not killing the princess to free the dragon from its duty of guarding her.
You already fucked up.

>> No.37279342
File: 5 KB, 136x126, 1418557119714.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.37280830

She's a sorceress, if she really wants to that's not gonna stop her from confiscating it

>> No.37280925

Well of course, but it can let you sneak it in for the opportunate moment.

>> No.37282359
File: 499 KB, 960x720, 1401666208356.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

B-but that's forbidden love! Girls can't love girls!

>> No.37282518

>Chaos Space Marine warlord has captured the party
>Party is stripped of their equipment and paralysed bu the warlord's sorcerer
>The warlord stands before them, mocking their belief in the false Emperor
>Starts monologuing about how their blood will begin a summoning ritual allowing him to forge his own personal Demon World
>Suddenly he lets out a fart so impossibly loud that the traitor legions in the Eye of Terror mistakenly believe that the 14th Black Crusade has begun

>> No.37282926

just as planned

>> No.37283971

>He blushes furiously as he falls into a khorne influenced blood rage.

>> No.37283990

>Due to his allegiance to the master planner tzeentch he tries to blame someone else for it, slowly falling into nurgle influenced depression.

>> No.37284008

>then slaanesh gives him an erection.

>> No.37284195


By your powers combined, I am Captain Chaos!

>> No.37284649
File: 562 KB, 1248x3360, 1392354624795.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.37284993

>Not slaying the princess and marrying the dragon purely to support a single-mother.

you monster

>> No.37285021
File: 74 KB, 490x391, 5208219047_715dcd4f96.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Dun Dun Dun!

>> No.37285284
File: 26 KB, 263x249, Pants.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>MFW this entire thread

>> No.37285408

Pants would only get in the way of the smell

>> No.37287776

So par for the course?

>> No.37287927
File: 550 KB, 2016x2472, far.tg.as.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.37288338

You mean you don't have Cloudkill make a loud fart noise?

>> No.37288482



>> No.37288938


haha, also the word for ring in spanish also means little boy anus.

>> No.37289648

>Not the Land of Meth and Elvis Tennessee

>> No.37291397


You've spent far too much time on tg.

>> No.37291497
File: 59 KB, 640x480, macross.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Challenge her to a musical duel. She wins we go with her, we win she comes with us.

>> No.37291554

Well, D&D is quite popular, but calling it "a fetish" seems a little too far...

>> No.37291630

Why does Spanish have a word for "little boy anus"?

>> No.37293573

Make sure everyone has rings of acid resistance

>> No.37298121

What about the bludgeoning damage?

>> No.37298131

Because Spain is Catholic.

>> No.37298151

The real question is - why your language doesn't?

>> No.37298993

>marrying the dragon purely to support a single-mother.
Filthy cuckold

>> No.37301153

thats my fetish

>> No.37304549

Only if you don't make some half dragons of your own with her, then it's just used goods

>> No.37304877

>Also, the dragon I just killed, indeed the last of its kind, was pregnant.

Dragons are egg layers. You just killed a fat dragon.

>> No.37305208

I remember this. Top kek.

>> No.37305543

>Dragons are all egg layers.
They are now

>> No.37306214

Dragons have layers, like onions.

>> No.37306496

... shrinks? I do not understand what you mean. It's a flat DC 80.

>> No.37306794

So i take it farts are Slaneesh approved? Somehow i forgot to include these when imagining a Slaneesh cult.

>> No.37306820

Easy for the rogue, but the barbarian needs to get in there as well.

>> No.37308653

No but fart fetishes are

>> No.37311148

They'd probably end up taking a whole lot of penalties for fighting in that small a space

>> No.37311394

>after kidnapping the princess the dragon, for reasons known only to himself, has employed a powerful shrinking spell to move his entire lair inside her body

>> No.37311461

>A lich has hidden its phylactery in a place where no sane adventurer would look.

>> No.37311495

>Farts furiously and its robe flutters.
>Something glints under its robe

>> No.37311512

another litch?
a slightly larger phylactery?
the phylactery is metaphorical and is actually just hopes and dreams?
inside the paladins ass?

>> No.37311548

Acquire cocaine.

>> No.37311564

Plenty of bards would look there, well not look...

>> No.37311650

>She farts loudly.

>> No.37311692 [DELETED] 

>Princess makes her way back to the castle
>Until burrito night
>She nearly incinerated the poor maid

>> No.37311722

>Princess makes her way back to the castle
>Has a thousand yard stare whenever anyone asks what happens
>Things settle down and the kidnapping is soon forgotten about
>Until burrito night
>She nearly incinerated the poor maid

And I hit post before I'm ready

>> No.37314328

>And that is how you get brown dragons

>> No.37314487

>the dragon is prepared for an assault via the rear entrance
>to bypass his defenses, the party must hide in the princess's food

>> No.37314750

They probably wouldn't even have to hide, it's not like the dragon's keeping a lookout up there

>> No.37315162

>Adventurers suggest sneaking in the front entrance
>Princess objects, on the grounds they probably wouldn't taste that good
>Orders royal chef and wizard to make them more palatable
>Party ends up entering the princes wearing enchanted pastry armor wielding enchanted candied blades

>> No.37316878

>Shrunken party using food-based weapons and armor fighting a shit dragon
I would have never thought I would want to play that campaign

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