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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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33387384 No.33387384 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

/tg/ humor thread, because I'm sick as fuck and need to focus on something else for a while.

I will post what I have, but it's not much. Any and all /tg/ humor welcome, doesn't have to be a screencapped story time or anything specific.

>> No.33387401
File: 156 KB, 940x630, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33387401

>>33387384

>> No.33387425
File: 119 KB, 991x273, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33387425

>>33387401

>> No.33387486
File: 207 KB, 1270x915, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33387486

>>33387425

>> No.33387999
File: 86 KB, 644x459, favored enemy patriarchy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33387999

This one is only a few days old. Capped it myself.

>> No.33389328

Totally not a samefag.

>> No.33389340

>>33389328
Whoops, meant to quote >>33387999

>> No.33389588

I remember when /tg/ was fun and not just quest threads

>> No.33389601

>>33389588
Wow what a fascinating and insightful comment!

>> No.33389617

>>33389601
Thank you equally fascinating and insightful comment

>> No.33389758

>>33387999
http://www.d20monkey.com/2014/04/13/a-chat-between-gms-part-one/


Read the comment section of this one.

>WEARING A FEDORA IS OK GUISE
>FUCKING MRAS LOOK HOW FEMINIST I AM

>> No.33389942

>>33389588

It's still full of fun because I learned how to use a fucking filter.

>> No.33390017
File: 307 KB, 427x301, 1394641421598.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33390017

Not straight up traditional games, but I did get it from /tg/

>> No.33390036

>>33387999
I made it into a screencap! I wasn't the funny one, but fuck it, I made it into a screencap!

>> No.33390112

>>33387384
This is how I Wizard, /tg/.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e5gs5Y5W0s

>> No.33390462

>>33389758
B^Uckley tier.

>> No.33391145
File: 246 KB, 848x471, emperor is love emps is life.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391145

This one is pretty recent

>> No.33391482
File: 187 KB, 1184x334, 18 posts omitted.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391482

>> No.33391509
File: 162 KB, 673x706, bend.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391509

>> No.33391530
File: 213 KB, 1577x502, fey ring.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391530

>> No.33391577
File: 118 KB, 1417x552, tg chinese land lady.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391577

>> No.33391594
File: 1.09 MB, 3167x4949, Sir Dick Cummington.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391594

>> No.33391598
File: 29 KB, 832x156, tg plays paranoia.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391598

>> No.33391623
File: 124 KB, 1260x914, tg andrew ryan picks commorragh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391623

>> No.33391654
File: 87 KB, 1235x587, tg how to troll.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391654

>> No.33391678
File: 148 KB, 1206x284, tg deeponeelves.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391678

>> No.33391695
File: 107 KB, 1034x859, tg gentlemen.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391695

>> No.33391723
File: 577 KB, 689x5000, tg arthur and hazel.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391723

>> No.33391746

>>33387401
So did we ever find out what exact was in the milkshake?

>> No.33391748
File: 164 KB, 1375x1022, tg Steve Irwin elf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391748

>> No.33391772
File: 161 KB, 1553x1528, tg Steve Irwin dwarf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391772

>>33391748

>> No.33391794
File: 121 KB, 1539x1172, tg Steve Irwin orc.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391794

>>33391772

>> No.33391799

>>33391598
I laughed.

>> No.33391818
File: 182 KB, 740x2187, tg Steve Irwin dragon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391818

>>33391794

>> No.33391838
File: 261 KB, 745x2945, tg Steve Irwin human.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391838

>>33391818

>> No.33391857
File: 151 KB, 1277x1444, tg elf random encounter.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391857

aannnnddd I'm spent for now, good luck op.

>> No.33391967
File: 36 KB, 604x246, gaydar.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391967

>> No.33391970
File: 55 KB, 1259x558, It ends not with a bang, but with a WAAAGH!!!.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33391970

>> No.33392155

>>33391746
From the description it sounds a little like Haribo sugar free gummy bears
http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Bears-Sugar-Free/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC

>> No.33393716
File: 185 KB, 909x835, 1362013265822.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33393716

An oldie.

>> No.33394532
File: 187 KB, 1349x2421, Krod.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33394532

Here's a good one.

>> No.33395177
File: 500 KB, 500x390, 1360887136069 (1).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33395177

>>33391838
>>and somewhere, his spirit is wrestling a spectral croc, we miss you steve you were one of a kind

>> No.33395371
File: 458 KB, 500x275, funny_02.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33395371

>>33391577

>> No.33395930

>>33391145
You should have capped the first comment

"Malcador pls leave"

>> No.33395948
File: 297 KB, 1258x678, 1404179023666.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33395948

>> No.33395963

I'm sick too anon. The struggle is real

>> No.33395979
File: 512 KB, 1549x2771, Vincent the Vending Machine.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33395979

>> No.33396425
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33396425

>> No.33396442
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33396442

>> No.33396494
File: 133 KB, 795x277, 1379730155756.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33396494

>> No.33396499

>>33391746
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/28470756/
here's the original thread. best answer i could find was 1 part milk, 1 part chocolate ice cream, 1 part cosmic brownie, probably 1 part of some whey protein powder, 6 parts of Satan's asshole, and like three mystery ingredients.

>> No.33396505
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33396505

>> No.33396573
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33396573

>> No.33396607
File: 84 KB, 710x357, CMOT.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33396607

>> No.33396647

>>33395963
>>33387384

Two sick bastards?

What kind of disease is being spread on /tg/?

Which one of you fucking wizards digitized a real virus?

>> No.33396653

>>33396647
Make that 3, I'm on day 5 of the worst flu I've ever had, at least I'm not totally bedridden anymore.

>> No.33396654
File: 55 KB, 720x443, Sir+Bearington_943e80_3611103.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33396654

>>33396647
Make that three, I have a cold, it's almost gone though.

>> No.33396671

>>33396653
>>33396654
>Sickness Hivemind

>> No.33396679

Oh god.

OH GOD!

It's real! It's really, really, real.

/tg/ is giving people cancer.

>> No.33396694

>>33396679
Papa Nurgle touches us all anon, welcome his embrace.

>> No.33396702

>>33396679

>Cancer

No, this is the start of the zombie apocalypse.

Soon, the fat shut-in, basement dwelling, cheeto magnets will spew forth and start to devour the living.

Except the women, even as zombies /tg/ is too beta for that. Just a whole bunch of hover biting.

It isn't just this board either, all the rest have been infected.

Except for /pol/ because they were smart enough to buy those filters from Alex Jones to combat the disease.

>> No.33396795

>>33396702
>Hover biting
Sides, oh sides, where art thou, sides?

>> No.33396797
File: 737 KB, 621x404, 1361755476273.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33396797

>> No.33397077

Anybody happen to have that one copy pasta about how fey catboys are the best character ever because they can use perform (violin) in every situation?

>> No.33397098

>>33387999
>someone on /tg/ made a screencap of me

What's this warm feeling I have inside?

>> No.33397194

>>33396647
I currently have horrible, ass blasting diarrhea brought on by shitty WalMart cupcakes I had at a party.

>> No.33397432

>>33397194
Reminds me of the Shadowtalk in the 3d edition Cyberware sourcebook, where there's a troll who has both a suprathyroid gland and level 3 symbiotes. He's mentioned as eating an entire stuffer shack for breakfast, except for "those yellow soy-cake thingies", whereupon another user comments he once spent two hours on the toilet in the middle of a run because of those.

Then again, maybe that's only funny to me.

>> No.33397449
File: 77 KB, 614x632, GM blows his players up.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33397449

Er we go

>> No.33397584

>>33396647
I'm sick as fuck too

>> No.33398010

>>33387401
Natural 1 cooking roll?

>> No.33398092

>>33398010
I'm pretty sure he did it on purpose actually.

>> No.33398196

>>33396653
4, I've had a chest infection for weeks now.

>> No.33398285
File: 936 KB, 1843x3423, Get in the bag.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33398285

>>33397584
>>33398196
Okay, looks like there are six of us then.

>> No.33398342
File: 98 KB, 882x829, 1372789429483.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33398342

>>33387384
>>33395963
>>33396653
>>33396654
>>33398196
It's happening! The epidemic has begun! Prepare your reserves and shelters! The end is ending!

>> No.33398460

>>33398285
Well that's just about half the population of /tg/.

>> No.33398543

>>33398285
Great, now I'm listening to Mastodon because of you. Again.

>> No.33398579
File: 8 KB, 1040x144, uranus is called uranus.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33398579

>>33387384

>> No.33398887

>>33398579
Wait. Does this mean I could hold pure 'Murica in my hand?

>> No.33399037

>>33398196
Well, my girlfriend's been ill since I started painting my warhams. Does that count?

>> No.33399064

>>33398887
To my knowledge, there is no astronomical object called "America". There is one called "Europa" though, and it's even in our solar system. Make of that what you want.

>> No.33399098
File: 128 KB, 750x372, Huffing Paint.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33399098

>>33399037
Pic related.

>> No.33399171

>>33399064
If you don't think America is the most astronomical object in our universe you can just fuck off the edge of my dick

>> No.33399174 [DELETED] 

>>33399064
>"Europa" though, and it's even in our solar system

Europa is a moon of Jupiter. You are kind of an idiot.

>> No.33399338

>>33399174
Are you implying that Jupiter isn't in our solar system?

>> No.33399404

>>33399064
No no no, I mean... If I hold some dirt from earth, its earth. If I hold some from the moon, its Luna or something.
But Luna and Terra are basically the same shit. We collided and stuff.

So...its just nomenclature that's important. So if I'm in Spain or something, I'm standing on Spain and can dig through Spain to find more Spain under it.

Savvy?

>> No.33399471

>>33399404
That's why vampires need to carry soil from their homelands in their coffins, right? Same deal?

>> No.33399754
File: 711 KB, 1248x3360, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33399754

>> No.33399782
File: 622 KB, 1554x1769, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33399782

>>33399754

>> No.33399807

>>33391970
I cry evertiem ;_;

>> No.33400118

>>33393716
But I remember that thread, has it really been 4 years?

>> No.33400247
File: 205 KB, 500x280, ].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33400247

>>33400118
Zog me, it has

>> No.33400758

>>33399782
b-but grimgors a mary sue

>> No.33401180

>Playing Dark Heresy
>My character (a rogue trader's son, got caught by the big I when he tried to sell some xenos artefacts, dabbles in sorcery on the side) has found a ring containing a digital weapon on a forge world overrun by chaos
>His knowledge of xenos tech tells him the weapon inside the ring is some sort of grenade, not the specific type however
>Being the thieving, lying little grot that he is, he neglects to mention the ring to his Inquisitor
>Fast forward to the next planet: The acolytes are trapped in a base in the middle of nowhere, their transport got blown up
>Something is hunting them, picking the squad of arbites that got sent along with them apart one by one
>Eventually turns out it's a Lictor
>Lictor proceeds to impale my character with his flesh hooks, I'm now dangling from the wall of one of the bunkers, Lictor standing above me on said wall
>"Time to bring out the big guns" - take the ring, arm it, and throw it up the wall. Takes a fate reroll, but it eventually lands right in front of the Lictor
>Other party member decides to try to pull me down (none of the others knew I had the ring, and all of them failed their awareness check to spot me throw it up)
>Lictor fails his strength check with a 100, comes crashing down on both of us, the ring falls after him
>Lictor has time to dismember me gruesomely, then the ring goes off
>It's not, as I had originally thought, some sort of explosive device like a krak grenade - no, this thing is a motherfucking GRAVITON IMPLOSION BOMB
>First, gravity increases to the point where everybody except our cleric just passes out
>Then, everyone is drawn toward the ring
>Finally, the damn thing sends out a shockwave strong enough to send the Lictor over a nearby cliff and dump about a ton of rubble and earthwork on his head (so at least we got rid of that problem)
>Unfortunately, it also lets all of us crash into various walls, leading to 2 burnt fate points in the process

>> No.33401371

>>33396647
I've had something wrong with me for the past week, I get really bad cramps in my guts, usually after I've eaten (I've hardly eaten as a result), and the past two days there's been blood in my shit.

>> No.33401412

>>33401371
Bright red blood or darker, brown stuff?

>> No.33401434

>>33401371
You should maybe see a doctor, or failing that, webmd.

>> No.33401439

>>33401180
Interesting. But is it humor?

>> No.33401454

>>33401412
Bright red, but it doesn't feel like when I've torn something in the past, and the majority of the blood comes out with the last of the shit.

>> No.33401492

>>33391145
>Emperor
>Not smiting the cruel abuser of one of his most loyal followers

I SHALL NEVER BOW BEFORE A FALSE EMPEROR SUCH AS YOU!

>> No.33401564

>>33401371
>>33401454
And you haven't seen a doctor yet?

>> No.33401607

>>33401564
No. It was only a month ago that I saw him last (turns out I have scoliosis, BTW).

>> No.33401773

>>33401439
Not entirely certain, I know I laughed my ass off when I found out what the ring actually did, even if it meant burning a fate point.

>> No.33401777

>>33401607
>It was only a month ago that I saw him last

It doesn't matter how long it was since your last visit, what matters is if a doctor has gotten a good look at these symptoms. Shitting blood can be something trivial and passing, but it could also be something terminally nasty. And for all the nasty stuff, the sooner treatment begins, the better your chances are, and the less misery there'll be on the way.

>> No.33401791

>>33401564
Besides, I'm planning to go and see him anyway if the blood continues for another day.

>> No.33401873

>>33401454
That sounds like a lower gastrointestinal ulceration. Would explain the cramps after eating, since the food irritates the ulcerated bowels, leading to cramps, and if the bleeding was higher up, the blood would be partially digested, turning it brown.
I strongly suggest you go see a doctor ASAP and get it checked out.

>> No.33401931

>>33401873
Right. I'll see if I can make an appointment this week. Just out of curiosity, what are the most common treatments for that.

>> No.33402070

>>33401931
Depends on what exactly is causing the bleeding. Sometimes it'll heal by itself if you don't provoke it, but most of the times you have to do something about it. You can cauterize smaller ulcerations while you're doing a colonoscopy, for larger ones you'll have to do an actual operation.

Keep in mind all of that only applies when it actually is an ulceration, it might be something completely harmless like hemorrhoids.
Like I said, get it checked out, internet diagnosis kinda tends to overdramatize symptoms.

>> No.33402135

>>33391970
Good End

>> No.33402150

>>33402070
If it were hemorrhoids (which I've suspected for some time), then what's causing the cramps?

>> No.33402298

>>33402150
Might be something unrelated, maybe a mild case of food poisoning.

>> No.33402318

>>33402298
For two weeks?

>> No.33402322

>>33396442

seriously though, who the fuck is kirk?

>> No.33402445

I am convinced the dice god's love idiots.

>Buddy is playing a half-orc barbarian named Fug o' da Hills. The honest to god name the official D&D Character generator gave him.

>His strength is 20
>His intelligence and wisdom are both 6
>Fuck it, her roleplays the shit out of it
>Fug needs groceries
>Wanders into an arena in search of food mistaking a 'Tournament in progress' sign for a sign for a diner
>Strolls into the middle of a fight between 2 level 10 fighters
>Thinks they are fighting over food
>He wants that (non-existent) food
>Beats bother fighters to death while bare handed while they are heavily armored
>I (DM) legit roll nothing but 1's and 2's on my rolls for attacks to hit Fug
>Fug rolls natural 20's.
>AT
>LEAST
>80%
>OF
>THE
>TIME
>Using a crit chart
>He kills the fighters
>He kills the resulting guards trying to remove him from the arena
>He kills the warrior son of the king
>The BBEG in hiding shows up to stop Fug from ruining his god damned plan to usurp the throne
>I roll a nat 1 (also using a fail chart) and the BBEG basically impales himself
>Everyone basically leaves the arena in fear of this fucking guy
>All Fug want's to know is
>Why me no can find cake?

Never have I had a game where fumbles and crits were basically all that was thrown over the course of about 20 minutes. Fug was forcibly retired after a single session, but to me and my friends there that day, he will always be considered a legend.

>> No.33402503

>>33402318
Granted, that's rather unlikely. I could ask you further questions, but I really think this should be done in person, not by a random stranger over the internet

>> No.33402519

>>33402318

The gut's reaction to the hemmorhoid is pain. Your bowel is recoiling from the open wound on reflex causing cramping.

>> No.33402645
File: 69 KB, 583x855, Vulkan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33402645

>>33396694
I can fix that, but you might feel a slight burning sensation

>> No.33402850

>>33391577
I was in a Scifi game where this was the case and decided fuck it, I'm making a melee guy. It worked out really well.

>> No.33402871
File: 213 KB, 900x1182, grandfather_nurgle_by_xleshiyx-d5besm9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33402871

>>33402519
or he's got bowel cancer...bloody stools are not a case where you leave it and hope it gets better.

>> No.33402874

>>33391678
>187 KB
I remember this thread, this guy got shat on for being completely wrong according to most people in the thread.

>> No.33402888
File: 112 KB, 1181x966, catfolk_monk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33402888

>>33397077

No, but I have this.

>> No.33402951

>>33402871
I hope not.

>> No.33403111
File: 1.62 MB, 890x747, THOV COVDST HAVE FORESTALLED THIS.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33403111

>>33402322
IT BEGINS AGAIN

>> No.33403142

>>33402951
While I agree that you shouldn't wait it out, I think cancer's rather unlikely. Abdominal pains and bleeding are not the first symptoms of bowel cancer, you'd have noticed something before (unexplainable weight loss or fevers, change in frequency/consistency of stool etc)

>> No.33403177

>>33390112
THIS is how I wizard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Oe7Q8OCm5I

>> No.33403185
File: 50 KB, 400x572, 1349714112296.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33403185

>long time ago
>larping
>dicking around as NPC as my char had been killed
>when the GM asked me if i wanted to wreck some people.
Fuckyea.jpg
>they hand me some kickass skeletal armor
>equip that shit
>give me an 8 foot club
>i am told to go kill all the elves, however once they exit the city limit to leave them alone, i was promised this wouldnt take very long
letsfuckingdothis.gif
>sent out
>stomp into the village
>damn this mask makes it hard to see
>notice elves
commence butchering...
>start beating the shit out of some elves
>GM walking behind me telling people who hit me that i am invinsible and their weapon just broke smashing it on me (lel)
>Take out dozens of elves
>mfw it eventually takes those elven fuckers 9 hours to figure out the plot-related shit to get rid of me.

goddamn i hate elves.

>> No.33403613
File: 646 KB, 2499x2641, LEWD.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33403613

>>33391748
>[Yes, please do]
Ok, I laughed.

>> No.33403752
File: 35 KB, 1193x611, fug o' da hills.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33403752

>>33402445
capped for future humor threads

>> No.33404340
File: 57 KB, 803x446, Skellington Whacking Elven Fags.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33404340

>>33403185
Capped.

>> No.33404783

So this just happened last night in my D&D group.

>my group consists of a cleric, rogue barbarian, my fighter and our dwarf druid.
>starting off clearing orcs in a cave that have been attacking the nearby town for the first quest
>we complete a majority of the cave we're in, eventually reaching some jail cells
>just bed rolls and buckets in each
>druid ask DM what's in the buckets
"you know what's in the bucket"
>Druid grabs every single bucket
>every bucket
>he has 20 pounds of shit
>entire group looks at him in disgust
>everyone is staying away from him because of the putrid oder.

>eventually reach the final room
>rogue opens the door, sees an orc whipping a female kolbold.
>looks like this orc is up to no good
>orc hasn't noticed our group yet. to busy getting off to the kolbold
>rogue about to 360 no scope blaze it 420 1v1 mi rust this guy
>dwarf gets a look in his eye.
>rogue secretly in love with druid so she knows what's about to happen.
>druid pulls a bucket full of shit out of his bag
>everyone steps aside, mostly out of the smell
>DM gets an annoyed look in his eyes
"roll for it"
>he throws all the buckets at the orc.
>natural fucking 20
>a fucking shit bucket sniper
>5lb of shit
>orc is covered head to toe in waste from all the buckets. kolbold avoids getting hit.
>rest of the group comes in and rocks his shit, no pun inteaded
>Orc was in shock never had a chance to do anything
>all the loot is contaminated, reeking of shit
>everyone agrees the loot goes to the dwarf.

>> No.33404933

>>33404783
>everyone agrees the loot goes to the dwarf.
Made me laugh

>> No.33404963
File: 94 KB, 560x500, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33404963

>>33403613
>not aw yeah nigga takanya

>> No.33405033
File: 83 KB, 781x800, Alex the Androgynous Elf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33405033

>> No.33405180
File: 36 KB, 1202x209, walkingincircles.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33405180

>> No.33405232

>>33398342

>Implying we aren't always ready.

>> No.33405814

>>33398342
>the end is ending
That's good, right?

>> No.33405949
File: 131 KB, 428x271, 1398085735079.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33405949

>> No.33405978
File: 129 KB, 918x616, 1375259914294.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33405978

>> No.33406521
File: 252 KB, 1346x1028, fatguy_goes_on_tumblr.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33406521

>> No.33406767

Oh god /tg/ you all made my day.

I was laughing out loud, still am.

thanks, all of you

>> No.33407065

>>33406521
Is the falcon included? Because if so I'm in.

>> No.33407078

>>33407065

No, that's a proud falcon-kin

>> No.33407095

>>33407078
Okay but do I get one for free if I go on tumblr and become a Mongol?

>> No.33407194 [DELETED] 

no
>>33407202

>> No.33407195

>>33405949
Neat. What's the story here?

>> No.33407457

>>33391577
Y'know, you could just say that firearms have outlawed. It'd be believable, considering how many countries have done it already.

>> No.33407477
File: 455 KB, 1244x847, 1398343290670.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33407477

>>33407195

Pretty sure it was just a bastard psion player being hilarious.

>> No.33407552
File: 82 KB, 1199x340, 1398089726945.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33407552

>> No.33407709

>>33407552
This one is very good.

>> No.33407748
File: 162 KB, 772x447, 1374071016444.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33407748

>> No.33407771

>>33407552
What the fuck is a goobar

>> No.33407788

>>33407477
>dat Darkseid pic
I haven't laughed this hard in a week.

I've actually established to my Black Crusade party that Abaddon is a hard motherfucker; now I think I'll have him pull a Darkseid on them.

>> No.33407801

>>33407771
Mouth/jaw/face/kisser

>> No.33407804

>>33407771
Gabber?

>> No.33407893

>>33407801
Oh, thanks. Google yielded nothing and I'm not proficient enough to catch on all the ork mispronaunciations sometimes.

>> No.33407914

>>33407771

Goober.

Slang for your dangly bits.

>> No.33407936

>>33407801
>>33407914
well now I am confused

>> No.33407995

So, in our last session of D&D 3.5 in the Dragonlance setting, where I am a Golem with free will, we arrived in the city of Tarsis, which one of our players former characters converted into worshiping the God of Death. The entire city was pants devote to him. Every statue in the city was either of the God of Death, or some undead.
Now, the city is exteamally Lawful Evil. So there are whores all over the place.
We get to the Red Dragon Inn and book some rooms. The owner of the place asks our party mage if he wants to fuck hes just like 'fine.'
so my Golem, Sir Gabriel is kinda confused on what the hell they are doing. So he goes out and ends up at the town Brothal, where he orders up a girl who teaches him ALL about how to make the sex.
After words, he orders up two more girls, a human and an elf and spends the entire night practicing his new skills on them.

>> No.33408112

>>33407995
I should note that Gabriel doesn't have any of those parts, so he uses his hands.

>> No.33408138

>>33407477
http://darkseidchillingonacouch.tumblr.com/
I just found this, should be worth a couple giggles.

>> No.33408143
File: 152 KB, 1274x692, ITT.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33408143

This thread is happening on /tg/ as we speak.

>> No.33408219

>>33396573
>screencaps himself
>didn't even bother to hide this

>> No.33408241

>>33391748
>>33391772
>>33391794
literally crying. thanks anon. too fucking funny.

>>33393716
the absolute classic. will never get old.

>>33396442
you have GOT to be shitting me.

>> No.33408343

>>33408219
He wasn't the one who made the situation funny, quit bitchin'

>> No.33408534

>>33408143
I'm watching now.

>> No.33408638

>homebrew system, basicly a post-apo fantasy anime
>imagine WoD mage after the apocalypse, basicly, but the part was still mere mortals "with potential" back then
>Enter Florance
>I just made a throw-off joke that "If I want to roleplay below avarage Charisma, I should call him Florance. Nobody will take him seriously that way" and it stuck
>He is jack of all trades, the stats were based on SPECIAL and he had most stats around 5, lowest was his Endurance on 3, got that leveled into "everything is 5 or more" with leveling
>The only exception being Luck, 10/10, also quite high Perception

>one of these days, we had a dragon on our ass
>barely adolescent, basicly a dragon junior high kid, but still a motherfucking dragon
>not in the flesh, of course, he has polymorphed himself into a humanoid shape, but we still witnessed that fucker get up and pull out bullets from his chest. From a gun that the GM described as pretty much as powerful as WH40k bolter
>He had the courtesy to state his name and intentions - he was Whateverthefuckincreadiblylongname, he was contracted to kill us, knows everything about us
>So the instant course of action is to stagger him so we can run the fuck away
>Florance lifts his rifle, shoots square in the forehead
>Crit, max damage on the dice
>Dude falls to the ground, quite shocked
>"What the fuck was that for?"
>"Your name is dumb"

And that is the tale of how we escaped from a dragon because he couldn't stop laughing from the irony.

>> No.33408863
File: 307 KB, 1261x669, 1405234461579.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33408863

>> No.33409015

>>33408863
"I'm gonna kick your ass!"
His heart explodes from your threat
GG

>> No.33409041
File: 107 KB, 1196x347, 1375259562063.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33409041

>> No.33409263

>>33406521
Mongoloid is an outdated clinical term... the fuck are these guys on about?

>> No.33409271
File: 75 KB, 1343x611, Devil Crab - Loch Fyne.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33409271

>>33387401
>Someone on /tg/ made a screencap of me.
I never did get that recipe. :(

>> No.33409352

>>33409263
its a similar kind of term to caucasoid or negroid for referencing races. None of them are really used any more

>> No.33409363

>>33409352
Except on /pol/

>> No.33409422

>>33409363
Is Moot ever going to realize that it's not a containment board, it's a spawning pit?

>> No.33409455

>>33409422
at this point getting rid of /pol/ would just dump them on a relatively good board. I suppose mods could get stricter for a while after /pol/ goes but no-one really wants that

>> No.33409511

>>33409422
When life gives you retards, start running a circus.

No point in closing down on them now. Just enjoy the show.

>> No.33409521

>>33389758
>not "more like D&D-cups"
Come on, you could at least be funny.

>> No.33409522

>>33409455
If the inhabitants of other boards (/b/ excluded) don't just hide/report until they go away then we're all so contaminated that the entire site needs Exterminatus. Hell, it might already be too late for /co/, how many more boards are we going to watch die before this ends?

>> No.33409594

>>33409522
you act as if /pol/ is some new thing that never existed before
not only have there always been racists on 4chan, but /new/ existed before /pol/ as well
and it was pretty much the exact same thing
complaining about tumblr or reddit is one thing, but complaining about a demographic that has existed on 4chan for a long-ass time is another
besides, they're a hell of a lot less annoying than SJW's

>> No.33409651

>>33409594
Eh, about even on the annoyance front, really.

>> No.33409733

>>33405978

Count Bearington.

>> No.33409764

>>33409271
We never did hear from that anon again...
>thiskillsthecrabhunter.png

>> No.33409770

>>33409651
you haven't been to many feminist treads, have you?

>> No.33409793

>>33409764
Much like ghostfucker, he may be dead in RL but he will live forever in our sagas.

>> No.33409797

>>33409770
I try to avoid most "controversial" threads on here...or anywhere, really. I had my ability to care about social issues killed by social media.

>> No.33409814
File: 61 KB, 720x443, sir bearington.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33409814

>>33409733

>> No.33409818

>>33409793
>ghostfucker


explain.

>> No.33409843
File: 119 KB, 800x700, 1391457958483.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33409843

>>33409797
it doesn't really matter anyway, they're all faggots

>> No.33409870

>>33409818
I don't think I have the screencap, but there was a fa/tg/uy a couple years ago who told the story about the ghost who haunted him when he was a child, got advice from here (and maybe /x/? can't remember) on how to appease ghosts, and the last post he ever made was that he nearly got hypothermia just getting her to sleep next to him but he was going to try to go all the way.

>> No.33409879
File: 165 KB, 1200x1553, 1402025892300 cosmic brownie shake.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33409879

>>33409271
>>33396499
>>33391746
>>33387401
This became a plot device a while ago in a thing I'm doing.

>> No.33409891

>>33409870
only an elegan/tg/entleman would attempt such a feat.

>> No.33409903
File: 31 KB, 413x425, 1328140572389.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33409903

>>33409870
I was part of those whom convinced him to give her the Descartes. I have felt a most severe guilt ever since.

>> No.33409950

>>33409903
What's there to be guilty about? If there's any death guaranteed to leave you hanging around as a ghost, it's death from ghost-fucking. They're together forever now.

>> No.33409974
File: 506 KB, 1632x1393, 1360637376946.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33409974

>>33409818
This is the only cap I have. There's another longer one around with pictures drawfags whipped up of the ghost chick, but I can't find it in my /tg/ folder.

>> No.33410003

>>33409950
What if, in dying via ghost-fucking, he died with his wants fulfilled and passed on, leaving the ghost behind? Ghost-lady would be alone.

>> No.33410049

>>33409870
I don't suppose anon's name was Daikichi? Because this is reminding me a lot of Itoshi no Kana.

>>33410003
If that was true it seems really likely that having sex with the guy caused her to move on as well.

>> No.33410108
File: 36 KB, 340x331, 1359939145884.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410108

>>33409950
>>33410003
>>33410049
You are assuming this entity, which so greedily sapped his heat, is or was benevolent in the first place, despite its causing his death, or that any relation with it would be mutualistic. In your minds, in boinking this entity, surely, they must have bonded and found happiness! But if it would kill him readily, by accident or intention, then what benevolence can it have?

It cannot be a higher spiritual thing, with its manifestation in descent and this aura of energetic greed. He, for all that is known, could be lashed to this thing, fueling it, forever, unable to be free of it or its ministrations. And no, this fueling would likely not be so carnal as you think. I condemned a man by my hubris to a never-ending hell, for some sentiment of comedy, of ribbing and egging-on.

All for a ghost blowjob.

>> No.33410238
File: 28 KB, 1038x212, kawaii dreadnaught.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410238

>> No.33410264
File: 91 KB, 586x442, tg on sports.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410264

>> No.33410288
File: 554 KB, 553x672, pclogic.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410288

>> No.33410318

>>33410288
I find the DROOD face that death has funnier

>> No.33410323
File: 145 KB, 1348x548, elves gone human.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410323

>> No.33410339
File: 88 KB, 944x1076, hugs.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410339

>>33410318
I can't believe I missed that.

>> No.33410378

>>33410318
It was in a filename thread as "the dm is giving you a hint", figured that face was shopped in, what's the face from?

captcha: description miiinEd

>> No.33410393

>>33410108
>I condemned a man by my hubris to a never-ending hell, for some sentiment of comedy, of ribbing and egging-on.
I believe you've summed up all of human existence in that sentence.

>> No.33410420
File: 95 KB, 256x327, The_Mystery_of_the_Druids_Coverart.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410420

>>33410378

An actual company released a real game with this as the box art. I am not making this up.

>> No.33410421
File: 16 KB, 1084x156, thebestpower.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410421

captcha: getting rsangel
aaaaaw yeeeeah.

>> No.33410595

>>33391748
>>33391772
>>33391794
>>33391818
>>33391838
wait does this make steve irwin the james bond of beastiality?

>> No.33410600
File: 369 KB, 1328x1110, Kaiser Vojtech's Wild Tourney.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410600

>> No.33410624
File: 139 KB, 925x263, TWO FEET.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410624

>> No.33410632
File: 84 KB, 400x400, 1388589708486.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410632

>>33405978

>> No.33410662

>>33409271

>Sea loch

A loch is a lake.

>> No.33410663
File: 6 KB, 1055x135, lovecraft.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410663

>>33410624

>> No.33410761
File: 165 KB, 1066x242, never too soon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410761

>>33410595

>> No.33410793
File: 97 KB, 642x414, 1399871649084.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33410793

>>33410600

>> No.33410841

>>33407477
That anon is a goddamn artist.

>> No.33410861

>>33407195
In-thread, they were pointing out that Kerrigan, of Star Craft fame, didn't have to make Raynor think dirty thoughts about her. She just liked it when he did.

>> No.33410937

>>33391970
This is beautiful.

>> No.33410950

>>33407936

The areas right below the nipples

>> No.33410982

>>33398285
I am also sick. I have an incurable case of lolicon.

>> No.33411071
File: 7 KB, 340x159, tg how to deal with furries.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33411071

>>33391723
/co/ made that one, not /tg/.

>> No.33411076
File: 763 KB, 1280x850, newspaper.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33411076

>>33410982

>> No.33411190

>>33410663

As a big fan of lovecraft this kind of shit always gets me to laugh.

>> No.33411210

>>33396797
>>33396702
Oh god the laughs are so real. This is truly the best board.

>> No.33411332 [SPOILER] 
File: 2.98 MB, 1280x720, 1405389848115.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33411332

>>33393716
Heh. Here's a sorta visual for the non imaginative folks.

>> No.33411357
File: 4 KB, 126x119, 1369351586916.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33411357

>>33409974
Did he do it?

>> No.33411417

>>33411332
What game is this?

>> No.33411464

>>33411417
I believe it's Vindictus, though I might be wrong.

>> No.33411475

>>33411357
Presumably, did you somehow skip the part where he's been missing and presumed dead for more than a year?

>> No.33411677

I was playing D&D for the first time. I rolled up a social character, a Dragonborn something or other Sorcerer named Kribnefka. One of the players had seriously pissed off the DM, so he wanted to kill him. Being a bit of a shitlord, he sicced a red dragon on us on the first level of a dungeon. Now, this DM just reads the juicy parts of the description, so he describes it as winged, four legs, a long tail, and horns. This is important. Five rounds into the combat, the dragon has substantial WIS damage from a combination of the rogue's poisons and the cleric's debuffs. This is also important.

I'm a Dragonborn Sorcerer with single hit points, and I step forward when I realize we're not going to win this. I speak to the dragon.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

The DM plays along. The dragon sticks its head in front of my face. "What is it?"

"What is such a pretty unicorn doing in this dungeon?"

"...what."

"Well, you have four legs."

"Yes."

"And horns."

"Yes."

"And a tail."

"So?"

"So you're obviously a unicorn!"

>dragon shits out its Sense Motive
>do passably on the bluff

"Uh... wait, I have wings. And fire breath."

"Then surely you are the chosen one! The unicorn destined to lead the unicorns from under the heel of... Elven tyranny! I am the prophecy-bringer, here to tell you of your magnificent destiny! You must go to the elven forest of... uh... Hurgendale and raze it to the ground. Then, you must find a herd of unicorns and join them. Your destiny will come to you there."

>Bluff: total of 37 thanks to party buffs.
>Dragon rolls a total of 24

The dragon took off through the roof, apparently deciding there was no time to lose.

Throughout the campaign, Krib just kept making up prophecies to get us out of trouble. Rogue caught stealing woman's panties? Needed to befoul a dark ritual we dare not speak of. Half-Orc pisses in public fountain? A sign of the return of the statue of The First King.

>> No.33411681

>>33396702
>hover biting.

It's not like I wanted my sides or anything

>> No.33411711
File: 51 KB, 399x328, superman jimmy aphasia.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33411711

>>33410793
>my brain when

>> No.33411750

>>33411677
The odd thing was all the prophecies had a way of fulfilling themselves. The dragon descends on the elven villages, shouting how it will free the unicorns, so elves start cracking down on unicorns. We have the panties so we toss them into a Planar Binding circle to mess up the ritual. The prophecy about the statue of the First King led to a surge in archeological expeditions that did, in fact, uncover a statue of him.

There was also the one about telling an orc bandit chieftan that she was "last descendant of the ancient orcish dynasties." These didn't exist, but she went around bashing other orcs until she had a dynasty going.

>> No.33411782
File: 103 KB, 500x372, Roger A Muirebe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33411782

>>33410793

>> No.33412091

>>33410793
I'm pretty sure that's just an extremely professional suicide note.

>> No.33412124

>>33412091
It's still funny that it happened

>> No.33412318
File: 250 KB, 1876x882, Prophecy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33412318

>>33411677
>>33411750

>> No.33412336

>Having a good session with my players
>The players are staying at a hotel to rest
>One of the players is a Raiden-type cyborg
>We get on the topic of the character's sexuality, semi-jokingly
>get off the topic for a while, progress as normal
>time for characters to recuperate for sleep
>'She has a tongue, right?'

>> No.33412347

>>33410421
10/10 would DM for this guy

>> No.33412415

>>33411071
yaaas

>> No.33412496
File: 37 KB, 254x107, trustmeiknowmyshit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33412496

>>33411417
>>33411464
Vindictus.

It's f2p, from nexon, runs on source engine.

It's honestly shit and you shouldn't play it.

>> No.33412501

>>33411750
That's good DMing

>> No.33412531

>>33412496
I just installed it.

>> No.33412536
File: 58 KB, 825x1057, Prophecy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33412536

>>33411677
>>33411750
>>33412318
Here, have the other side of the scale of screencap width.

>> No.33412540

>>33396647
Number seven here, but just a cold.

>> No.33412557

>>33410662

A loch can be a lake or a sea inlet.

>> No.33412563

>>33412531
Then uninstall it unless you don't' care about the space on your harddrive like me.

>> No.33412732

>>33387999
>Illusions and constructs
Touché, you magnificent bastard.

>> No.33412831
File: 116 KB, 1175x740, Latrine.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33412831

>> No.33412957

>>33403177
This is how I wizard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XArJw8_IsOw

>> No.33413108

>>33407771
>>33407936
It's what he's gonna hook you in.

>> No.33413131

>>33407995
>Now, the city is exteamally Lawful Evil. So there are whores all over the place.
How the fuck does this follow?

>> No.33413168

>>33407995
>Now, the city is exteamally Lawful Evil. So there are whores all over the place.

Whores are not lawful.

>> No.33413279
File: 25 KB, 620x364, tg random cold club smoke.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33413279

>>33412415
I don't think I follow.

>> No.33413826

>>33413168
They are the most lawful. Whores take an act born of animal instinct and evolution and attach terms, limits, and security to it.

>> No.33413883

>>33413826
Also Syphilis.

The party Paladin assures my Bard that Syphilis is the most loyal of all ailments. So in a way, I am more loyal than our Paladin.

>> No.33413928

>>33413883
Apparently my mind has altered the alignment chart. Loyal-Chaotic, Good-evil.

Welcome to 6th edition.

>> No.33413979

>>33410663
I'm a big HPL fan and this is killing me.

>niggers niggers niggers

>> No.33413980

>>33413168

Well, there are whores who work for lawyers.

>> No.33414076

>>33413979
wasn't lovecraft's cat named nigger man

>> No.33414229

>>33414076
He had a cat as a little kid named 'Nigger', because it was the fashion back in the day. He named the narrator's cat in Rats in the Walls 'Nigger Man' after it. It's kind of shit it's in there, because Rats is a great story marred by this one pretty bad element. It doesn't bother me, but for someone going Lovecraft...yeesh.

>> No.33414270

>>33414229
When his cat died was it because someone rolled quads?

>> No.33414273

I lost all my screencaps when my laptop crashed. Does anyone have the three pictures about the Sperg, the Valkyrie, and the Pastamancer?

>> No.33414278

>>33399404
gA?

>> No.33414378

>>33414270
Due a large series or minor accidents, that cat had -789 san and its head promptly caved in when it found out the world outside the front door was the same as the back.

>> No.33414391

I've got a storytime from a recent game, if anyone wants to read it. We used a van to crash all the DM's plans for how we should do a stealth mission.

Also, OP. Thanks for making an annoying and overall shitty day better. I needed this.

>> No.33414552

>>33414229
Yeah, the cat being named "nigger man" really ruined the mood of that story sometimes

>> No.33414670

>>33412957
This is how I wizard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Oe7Q8OCm5I&feature=kp

>> No.33414717

>>33414229
Yeah, you see black animals named Nigger all the time. The Dambusters had a dog named Nigger in it.

>> No.33414847
File: 25 KB, 493x402, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33414847

>>33402322

>> No.33415051

>>33407788
Anon you better post the results later

>> No.33415206

>>33415051
That I shall, anon. That I shall.

>> No.33415437
File: 399 KB, 827x717, Dirogath.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33415437

Playing a homebrew based on Tactics Ogre, where my character is a Lizardman archer named Dirogath (pic related). We are a very aloof and rules-light group, so we usually get away with stuff if its funny enough. We had arrived at a fort to search for information on the macguffin, and the first thing i did was turn to the nearest guard and try to sell him something. The exchange went as follows:

Dirogath:
"psssst, hey, buddy"

Guard:
"What the-?"

Dirogath:
".. do you feel happy with your assigned equipment?"

Dirogath:
"Wouldnt you desire more... girth?"

Guard:
"I... I'm sorry?"

Dirogath:
"Dont you think things could be so much better if you just had a longer one?"
* Dirogath produces a greatsword

Dirogath:
"Finest steel lad, 100 goth and its yours

Guard:
"Well I... Uh..."

Guard:
"Sometimes my wife makes comments..."

Dirogath:
"We have all been there"

Guard:
"100? hmm... I think I can spare that..."

The gaurd looks around to make sure no officers are lookign and fishes out 100 gold for the persuasive lizard.

Dirogath:
"You are a fine connosieur sir, here you go!"
* Dirogath sealthily makes the transaction
* Dirogath moves towards the group, 100 goth richer

Guard:
".... Wait did I just buy a sword?"

>> No.33415469
File: 67 KB, 550x413, STAR TREK is not for the gay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33415469

>>33402322

>> No.33415930
File: 434 KB, 800x736, 1382925966494.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33415930

>>33410663

>> No.33415974
File: 9 KB, 474x198, 1405232915168.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33415974

>> No.33416091

>>33402322
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_T._Kirk

>> No.33416248
File: 356 KB, 466x350, 1397054576242.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33416248

>>33402888

>Just appreciate porn, regardless of what form it takes

>> No.33417148

>>33410108

>He, for all that is known, could be lashed to this thing, fueling it, forever, unable to be free of it or its minstrations

Women, amirite?

>> No.33417237
File: 87 KB, 777x654, Monks.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33417237

>>33414391
I would like to read it.

>> No.33417278

>>33411711
>House of Leaves.jpg

>> No.33417447

>>33417278
>HoL

my nigga

>> No.33417467

> playing as halfling rogue/afflicted kender
> series of unfortunate events ends with party in sealed jars with beholder stealing memories for "experiments"
> DM rolls and I get hit by beam
"I bluff and make up shit In my memories"
*roll 19* awesome, plus my 22, that makes 41.
> beholder stares at me after stealing false memory of me fighting an ancient dragon in utter confusion but DM manages to roll and catch on that something isn't quite right
> beholder focuses everything on breaking my memories and gets bluffed every time
> hits me with everything he's got and only just beats my roll
"next time, don't try to hide things from me"
> I stare at the beholder and smile wildly and innocently
"I wasn't hiding anything, I was just thinking of other things"
> beholder stares at me in disbelief and just gives up on stealing my memories

More things like this happen all the time, generally to the awe of the rest of the party and the DM.

>> No.33417651

>>33412540
>> 7
PRAISE NURGLE

>> No.33417780
File: 2.91 MB, 560x238, I feel the Warp overtaking me.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33417780

This seems like as good a thread as any to share this story:

>Party goes to an alchemist's shop to have him examine a sample of poison
>The alchemist tries to sell them a caterpillar in the final stages of "Golden Antler" (cordyceps) infection; he explains that the fungal growths are a potent aphrodisiac
>A band of thugs shows up, demanding protection money
>FIGHT!!!
>Wizard: "I'll fire a magic missile at that table of spell components to distract them!"
>Cue chain reaction of spilled potions and combusting spell components
>One thug is caught in the roiling magical vapors, mutates into huge abomination
>Ranger throws Oil of Fiery Burning at the abomination, sets shop on fire
>shit_just_got_real.png
>The Ranger grabs his animal companion and bolts for the rear exit
>The Wizard grabs the alchemist and does the same
>The Fighter GRABS THE FUCKING APHRODISIAC CATERPILLAR and makes it out of the building just seconds before it collapses in flames.

A few encounters later, the party has finally found the BBEG's lair under the city and is planning their assault.
>Wizard: "I turn the Ranger invisible so he can get into position to sneak attack!"
>Druid: "I shapeshift into a silverback gorilla!"
>Fighter: "I eat the aphrodisiac caterpillar!"
>DM: "The... The whole thing?"
>Fighter: "Yup!"

The final battle consisted primarily of the Fighter alternately hacking his way through the BBEG's mooks and bludgeoning them with his supernaturally engorged erection. webm VERY related.

>> No.33417938

>>33417780
...the hell did I just watch?

>> No.33417972

>>33417938
An excerpt from the music video for "turn down for what". It's better with sound.

>> No.33418001

>>33417780
This is a dubstep music video right?
It has to be, c'mon.

>> No.33418034

>>33418001
Trap actually.

>> No.33418230

>>33417938
Slaaneshi incursion into our reality.

>> No.33418279

>>33418001
Lil Jon actually
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMUDVMiITOU

>> No.33418442

>>33418001
A reason to never turn it down.

>> No.33418462

>>33414670
This is how I wizard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFuMpYTyRjw

>> No.33418819
File: 1.99 MB, 369x271, 1390844459220.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33418819

>>33396797
Holy shit. I cannot stop laughing.

>> No.33419255

>>33409974
Dat sneaky descartes

>> No.33419579

>>33410264
>enjoying trying to jump high enough to stick your wand up my mum as she's flying around

h'wat

>> No.33419705

>>33391838
He had all creatures in his heart... That could've been worded better...

>> No.33419764

>>33412091
>>33411782
>>33412124
Two different people with the same name, look in at the two portraits.

That said, Paradox recently allowed lunatic characters to plot against themselves.

>> No.33419784 [DELETED] 

>>33414229
I feel like it's only Americans who get really butthurt about Niggerman and Lovecraft's identitarianism driven racism. Mostly because white, hill-billy enclaves still exist where racism is as 1800's as ever and they truly believe blacks are the slave-race.

I'm from the UK, I'm not racist and I didn't really bat an eyelid when those themes came up because really, who can still say "nigger" with a straight face and truly mean it in Western Yurop today? Aside from the mental loner social outcasts that are scorned by everyone around them

>> No.33419800

>>33414717
Agatha Christie's "10 Little Niggers" is actually, properly offensive rather than simply naming a shitty dog or a cat niggerman

>> No.33419808

>>33391509
Adventure is waiting, after you bend.
But not if you're straight.

Deep, OP, Deep.

>> No.33420304
File: 28 KB, 484x300, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33420304

>>33409879
>Hellboy Crown
>Mignola influenced artwork
I love you in a way that transcends sexuality and distances, anon.

>> No.33420525
File: 6 KB, 208x242, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33420525

>>33418230
Pretty much. And what do we do with Heretics little jimmy?
That's right, the same as people who listen to dubstep. We purge them.

>> No.33420529

>>33419800
Do you mean "and then there were no(more niggers)ne"

>> No.33421270
File: 80 KB, 1100x900, dirogath.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33421270

>>33415437
Screencap'd.

>> No.33421317

>>33415974
this just sent me into negative hp laughing holy fuck

>> No.33421349
File: 1.03 MB, 1670x2617, 1397629784205.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33421349

>>33409974
Here, I think this is the complete cap.

>> No.33421457

>>33387425
300 lb is incredibly light for a stone throne. Anybody have that pic of the stone with an inscribed story about the guy who threw it with one hand?

>> No.33421495

>>33389588
That's funny, I was just reminiscing about how /tg/ used to not be full of whiners who complain about things rather than making their own fun.

>> No.33421512

>>33396702
>hover biting
Goddammit I almost dropped my phone

>> No.33421593

>>33405033
I love it.

>> No.33421668

>>33407748
MY SIDES

>> No.33422025
File: 155 KB, 710x549, 1366021895880.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33422025

>> No.33422069

>>33422025
he read /tg/ humor threads and is trying too hard to make his own epic greentext story

>> No.33422124
File: 867 KB, 1280x3838, paladin_rap.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33422124

>> No.33423348
File: 605 KB, 918x4643, Wizard.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423348

>> No.33423422
File: 171 KB, 921x593, Dougie_McIsaac.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423422

>CAPTCHA: Scipio Gembilly
What do you think, /tg/? Could this be a space marine?

>> No.33423457
File: 804 KB, 1275x1617, ADnDBARBARIAN.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423457

>>33423422
Will be dumping btw

>> No.33423471
File: 1.74 MB, 1200x2809, ADnDCAVALIER.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423471

>>33423457

>> No.33423486
File: 7 KB, 926x168, SnaketheX.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423486

>>33423471

>> No.33423510
File: 114 KB, 912x670, FO3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423510

>>33423486
Not sure if /tg/, but I found it here.

>> No.33423521
File: 75 KB, 976x313, HFY.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423521

>>33423510

>> No.33423543
File: 98 KB, 750x600, CharacterConcept.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
33423543

>>33423521
This is all I have.

>> No.33423792

>>33423486
>not saying it was an actual literal snake

>>
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