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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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32440604 No.32440604 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Time for a bone chilling skeleton thread /tg/

So /tg/ why are skeleton's and skeleton based undead the best kind of minions?

>> No.32440622
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>> No.32440636
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>> No.32440645
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>So /tg/ why are skeleton's and skeleton based undead the best kind of minions?
Because a well-ornamented skeleton girl is the most beautiful of all things.

>> No.32440650
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>> No.32440653
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>> No.32440664
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>> No.32440667
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>> No.32440674
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Skeletons are the best minions because whatever you're into, you can have a skeleton of it! Human skeletons, dwarf skeletons, orc skeletons, skeleton dogs/horses/whales/whatever, skeleton gelatinous cu- wait disregard that.

>> No.32440684

>skeleton jelly

You are spooking me

>> No.32440690
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>> No.32440691
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>> No.32440712

10/10 would join in eternal rest

>> No.32440716
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>> No.32440718


>> No.32440729
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no no your right. you can find skeleton's IN gelatinous cubes so that can count

>> No.32440734
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>> No.32440746
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>> No.32440748
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I know right?

>> No.32440749
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>> No.32440759
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>> No.32440775
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>> No.32440790


Perfect logistics
> Don't need food, water, rest, shelter, or pay. Also no possibility of disease
> Mindless undead cannot rebel or rout
> Being 2spooky keeps the peasants in line
> Plentiful supply

Really the only minions that could possibly be better would be elementals

>> No.32440801
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>> No.32440807 [SPOILER] 
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>that feel when you will never hold hands with her

>> No.32440812
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>> No.32440829
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>> No.32440831
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>> No.32440836
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>> No.32440864

Did FunnyBones feature in the childhood of any of the anons here?


>> No.32440865
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>> No.32440880
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>> No.32440885
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This is how I skeleton.

>> No.32440887

Because it's so easy to use them to fool adventurers.
>Adventurers find your necromancer lair and go inside to stop whatever it is you're doing.
>Stumble across a corridor with a bunch of skeletons lying on the floor.
>Obviously this there must be some kind of trap in this corridor.
>Send rogue to scout for traps.
>Rouge tells them it looks clean, they start advancing down the corridor cautiously.
>When they get to the middle all skeletons suddnly start moving and jump them at the same time and start stapping them with various pointy metal objects.
>Turns out it was a trap, just not the kind the adventurers were expecting.
>Necromancer suddenly has a bunch of new corpses to raise without even having to do anything.
>Corridor skeletons welcome their new bros who lay down motionless to help them mess with other adventurers.

>> No.32440899
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>> No.32440901
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>> No.32440904

As a necromancer I have been given permission to have my cohort be an undead. What would be the best undead cohort to have? I've had a few ideas but I don't know what to settle on.

>> No.32440916
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>> No.32440926
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>> No.32440931
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>You will never have a powerful Lich-Waifu.
>You will never plot with her to eradicate the elven kingdom through a deadly plague
>You will never build a new kingdom, where the death and the living can live in peace on the ruins of the elven kingdom

>> No.32440947
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>> No.32440952

Maybe you're in the wrong thread if you don't know the only answer is a skeleton.

>> No.32440954
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All rise for the skeleton national anthem


>> No.32441017

that is fucking kawaii as fug

>> No.32441038
File: 272 KB, 689x1000, LichWaifu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Powerful human sorceresses who changed into undead. There are also those who chose to become liches of their own accord in pursuit of eternal life and limitless knowledge. They possess much greater magic than they did while amongst the living. They are terrifying high rank undead that can freely use various spells such as “necromancy” which reanimates corpses into undead servants, and “eromancy” which manipulates lust and heightens pleasure. Most of them have a strong fixation with and thirst for knowledge of sorcery, and the pleasure of sex, which they awakened to after becoming monsters. Even in death, they continue their lewd magical research and experiments to master sorcery and reach the depths of pleasure.

>They usually immerse themselves in their research at dwellings away from human settlements, and they rarely reveal themselves in front of people. However, a human man is absolutely necessary to them as they replenish their magic power by taking in spirit energy, a man’s body serves as a test subject, and there are spells and sexual experiments which require both a man and a woman to perform, so if they spot a man, they’ll aggressively attack in an attempt to subdue him.

>To them, even their own body is a material for experimentation, and it is imbued with various lewd spells so that they can maximize the pleasure for themselves and their partner during sex. When they attack a man, they also imbue the man’s body with various spells. By having sex when each other’s bodies are imbued with these spells, they enthrall a man with their sorcery and body.

>Most of them don’t take much interest in others, with the exception of the man they choose as their husband, a monster’s one and only partner who shares the greatest pleasures with her. They have an even stronger attachment to him than to sorcery.

>> No.32441072
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>The man who became their husband will spend his days thinking and pursuing experiments of sex and magic in order to reach the depths of pleasure and sorcery as their eternal partner.

>Their body is imbued with various spells by their own hand to become more lascivious, sensitive, and insatiably lustful so that they can obtain more spirit energy and pleasure. Once they have sex with a man with their body in such a state, they will be attacked by so much pleasure that it would normally cause them to lose their mind and become a beast. However, while they do immensely enjoy the deep pleasure, they maintain enough composure to analyze sex, pleasure, and the effects of the spells they used. This is because they put their soul into a vessel called a “phylactery,” and they distance their soul from the pleasure and spirit energy their body receives.

>Due to this, they can enjoy pleasure and maintain the capability for calm, objective thought even right in the middle of sex with their husband whereas other monsters’ minds would be consumed by pleasure. But if the phylactery is damaged, the soul returns to their body. If they have sex in that state, not only their body, but even their soul will be swallowed by pleasure and spirit energy, and then they’ll become unable to think about anything but their beloved husband in front of them.

>> No.32441132
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Rolled 7, 1, 6 = 14

>> No.32441157
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If you hide behind skeletons to avoid damage, is it still technically using a meatshield?

>> No.32441175
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>> No.32441222
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>various lewd spells

>> No.32441275

I must admit that I did this once by scrying someone's location via a semen and pussy juice (fuck knows the proper term for that) stained bedsheet.

I looked my GM in the eye and said "You name something more personal than your own sex pish."

>> No.32441294
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No, its a Boneshield, duh.

>> No.32441307

That's your standard contagious magic. I mean, stuff like hair or blood or clothing are more common vectors, but yeah.

>> No.32441346
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>> No.32441391

They are not you ignorant goy.

Golems are better.

>> No.32441407
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You-..You did use gloves, right?

Because scrapping up another mans semen would be pretty gay anon.

>> No.32441424

Not actually knowing they are dead?

>> No.32441425

what about skeleton golem's?

>> No.32441437

>I looked my GM in the eye and said "You name something more personal than your own sex pish."
And he looked you back in the eye and said "Hair, skin, organs, brain, and personality." And you got yourself fucking told.

>> No.32441453
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I kind of like the idea of using scarecrows as a construct equivalent to skeletons. Relatively easily defeated, spooky and yet silly, almost as cheap to make, just as much potential variation in equipment and style if not more.

>> No.32441466

There was female ejaculate on it as well so it cancels out.

>> No.32441473

That joke sure was funny when I saw it for the tenth time in a different skeleton thread.

Now I can see it coming :(

>> No.32441533

Wouldn't most games still allow the PCs to detect the trap, but it'd just be a higher difficulty to realize that the skeletons were still animated? (You notice one of the skeleton's fingers twitch, or that there's a very light rustling of bones from the deeper parts of the piles)

Still, a good trap idea, will steal.

>> No.32441543

While on the topic of semen:

My group had a running gag going that "Dragon semen can do EVERYTHING".
So it ended up as part of all kinds of alchemic potions, an ingredient for magical superglue, part of a tincture to heal an undead plague and of course mixed with other utensils as a coat of paint to make our flying ship somewhat fireproof.

>> No.32441592

Then it's not a skeleton, it's a skeleton golem.

So it'd be pretty much stronger since it no longer takes damage from healing spells.

Also see this, shalom brother, you know your golems unlike these goys.

>> No.32441593

No, no it doesnt anon. Touching pussy juice is normal, it doesnt give you some bonus-malus regulation shit.

But touching another dudes old semen is gay as fuck.
You are at least twice as gay as you were before touching it.

>> No.32441599
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that's disgusting and arousing at the same time.

Bravo for making me feel like that

>> No.32441626

There's also "impregnate any known living organism," that's fairly important not to forget.
I wonder if there are a lot of male dragons who actively trade their miracle goo for more gold or if they're too prideful for that sort of thing.

>> No.32441627

Triple gay for denying it.

Real men are sure about their sexuality.

>> No.32441634

Is it still gay if my witch was a woman?

>> No.32441638

But skeletons wouldn't twitch, at least not in what I'm playing. They're puppets controlled by magical energy, and if you order them to stay still then they would.

>> No.32441642

What about cops that investigate rapes? Does getting a semen sample make them gay?

>> No.32441658

They're gay and they send men off to be raped and sometimes make them cum-in-a-cup. So that's quintuple gay.

>> No.32441669

Cops are sexless beings.

>> No.32441676
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No, because they are smart enough to use gloves.
And one of the most important inventions on human history.

>> No.32441684

No, cause they get gloves you faggot. They know they are not gay so they get gloves since they don't want to touch semen with their bare hands.

>> No.32441695

My uncle is sexless? Then how the hell did he get three kids?

>> No.32441705

The milkman

>> No.32441720

regardless if you make an undetectable trap in a dungeon you're not a clever GM, you're just an asshole.

Unless you're playing 2e or below, then you're a clever GM.

>> No.32441729
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Shouldnt you ask your aunt about that?

>> No.32441730

There are straight cops?

>> No.32441738

>regardless if you make an undetectable trap in a dungeon you're not a clever GM, you're just an asshole.
>Unless you're playing 2e
False alarm.

>> No.32441778

Well, there are spells to detect undead, one of my favorites is called "a warhammer to the skull".

>> No.32441783

Once a cop ingests enough doughnuts he splits into several very small cops. The small cops sometimes work undercover as kids.

>> No.32441833

The milkman.
The postman.
The repairman.

>> No.32441874

>However, while they do immensely enjoy the deep pleasure, they maintain enough composure to analyze sex, pleasure, and the effects of the spells they used. This is because they put their soul into a vessel called a “phylactery,” and they distance their soul from the pleasure and spirit energy their body receives.
>Due to this, they can enjoy pleasure and maintain the capability for calm, objective thought even right in the middle of sex with their husband whereas other monsters’ minds would be consumed by pleasure.
Hottest thing I've read in a while.

>> No.32441934

So cops reproduce by binary (or more) fission, like bacteria?

>> No.32441966

Roll for a acquiring a new fetish.

>> No.32442020

Well yes. It's a well known fact that the police are a disease.

>> No.32442022

Reminds me of Urotsukidoji when Amano has a conversation while fucking Mimi in a pool of boiling lava

>> No.32442084

Rolled 60

Goddammit. Difficulty <70 to avoid new fetish.

>> No.32442102

"The dead make good soldiers. They can't disobey orders, never surrender, and don't stop fighting when a random body part falls off."

—Nevinyrral, Necromancer's Handbook

>> No.32442108

That sounds rather uncomfortable. Are they heat-resistant or something?

>> No.32442161
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>liking skeletons
>better than ghosts

>> No.32442166

No anon, they were both fucking in lave while on fire.

The scene was really graphic, the flesh literally boiling off them, kinda short too since they could only do one or two humps before their brains boiled over.

>> No.32442169

You can't punch ghosts

>> No.32442195

Demons, and Amano is just fuckoff-powerful.

Urotsukidoji is a pretty decent watch even though it goes a bit extreme on the edgy grimdark.

>> No.32442222

Ghosts are awful. A ghost girl killed a fa/tg/uy like a year or two ago.

>> No.32442261

At least he didn't die a virgin.

>> No.32442352

It was an alium.

He's up there, in the stars, fucking hot alien babes.

>> No.32442402

I suppose I'm going to sound like a newfag, but seriously, what the fuck?

>> No.32442452

>It was an alium.
Is such thing even possible?

>> No.32442514

No, it was clearly an extra-dimensional horror trying to approximate a human form so she could seduce anon and lure him back to her home beyond the bounds of time and space.

>> No.32442560
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This, I'd assume.

I still think he just had hallucinations from a terminal brain tumor.

>> No.32442845

regardless i hope he BONED her hard

>> No.32442961

Aw ye, sex so different that your human mind can't comprehend the full foreplay.


>> No.32443072
File: 58 KB, 640x480, B&_Foreplay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Well, it's not like guys comprehend point of foreplay in human on human sex.

>> No.32443195

Come on, even as a guy, foreplay is fun.

>> No.32443271
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>> No.32443285
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>> No.32443944

The writing's not bad and I don't want to spoil your fun, but how do you know he disappeared? We're on 4chan, for what you know I could have written it. "Disappearing" makes for a much better finale than "hey guys, so I did her last night, quest finished, bye", right?

>> No.32443996

That's quite possible.

But if it was fake, he has a Buddha-like level of self control to have kept silent after the 50+ threads discussing the event since then.

>> No.32444019

Everyone knows that, you assclown, and nobody cares. Most of the stories on /tg/ are blatant bullshit, the only thing that matters is whether or not they are entertaining.

>> No.32444031

Perhaps it's not so much about self-control but rather about joys of 4chan fame fading in comparison with ghost-alien pussy.

>> No.32444769
File: 81 KB, 300x531, Shirous_jackhammer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Liking Foreplay
>Not just jackhammering straight away

>> No.32444842

My sides have left this planet

>> No.32445298

That going on is what brought me here from /x/ a couple years ago

Also why not pay the superior version with the drawings?

>> No.32445354
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Funny that you mention it...

>> No.32445526
File: 248 KB, 1500x1000, 1397392194988.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'll contribute

>> No.32445557
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>> No.32445616

Interesting, those visual hallucinations are pretty common in sleep paralysis and other sleep-related phenomena.
The more extraordinary details, needless to say, are not. It may be possible that he really experienced the hallucinations as a result of sleep paralysis and used his writefagging skills to make a nice story.
One way or the other, >tfw no paranormal spooky gf

>> No.32445649
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>> No.32445674
File: 84 KB, 515x407, 1397359592353.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Aw damnit, Jerry is doing that nazi shit again
>Is that a grenade?
>Just smile, Greg, smile and wave

>> No.32445704

One of these goddamn days I'm going to have a Mythos location named the Ultraviolet City and see which of my players loses their shit when they're sent to it.

>> No.32445707

>trying this hard
We are all in awe at your manliness
You have a permanent erection and fists for nipples I get it.
The rest of us lower men like foreplay because everyone is having fun.

>> No.32445736
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>> No.32445781

Invisible pseudo-flesh? Could work if intelligent skeletons are basically old ghosts using the remains of their mortal body as an anchor in the world of the living.

>> No.32445811

What about an invisibility potion/spell that works on everything except bones and only on the person's body?

>> No.32445925
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>> No.32445943
File: 11 KB, 150x200, 1377537190686.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Cmon guys my skeleton porn folder isnt getting any younger

>> No.32445958
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>> No.32445976
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>> No.32446010
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>> No.32446037


I worry about people who read that much into a silly post and get all buttflustered about it.

>> No.32446044
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>> No.32446081
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>> No.32447271


wa! what are we gonna do on the bed?

>> No.32447299

No, you grind up skeletons in order to MAKE a gelationous cube.

>> No.32447394 [SPOILER] 
File: 34 KB, 324x475, 1401409992318.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If Colbert can make mad cash from selling his Stuff so can Dragons, I'm sure.
The real horror starts when someone tries to awaken The Stuff.

>> No.32447398

Does all bone contain gelatine? I was under the assumption that gelatine was made from major joint areas like knees and such.

>> No.32447433

No, they're a type of porcine humanoid who reproduce via budding. It's considered impolite to have your buds showing in public though, so it's very rare to see them.

>> No.32447487

Well if you get enough skeletons there should be enough cartilage to create gelatin. Or you could just use shark skeletons.

>> No.32447636
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>> No.32447828

>pussy juice (fuck knows the proper term for that)

Vaginal secretion has no proper name yet (typical), but some acceptably proper words are quim, vaginal secretion, vaginal effluvia, effluvia, transudatia (from Transudation, the process by which it is secreted), and cervical fluid.

>> No.32447865

I thought quim was the V itself?

>> No.32447867

And all of those sound utterly disgusting.

>> No.32447936


That skeleton jelly panel scares the allseeing monkeyfuck out of me... I have no idea why...

Does anyone know where it comes from? I want to know more...

>> No.32448012

>I thought quim was the V itself?

Noper. It's the fluid.

That's why when Loki called Black Widow a mewling quim, it was so amazingly offensive. He didn't just call her a pussy, but he called her a pussy byproduct.

>And all of those sound utterly disgusting.

Sorry dude. Biology is gross, what can I say.
You could probably get away with calling it oleum, after the latin word for oil, since 'vagina' is latin for 'scabbard', and oleum was used to keep scabbards from sticking.

>> No.32448038

No, I mean like far grosser than 'semen' or 'sperm' sound. Perhaps it's just a familiarity thing.

>> No.32448072

Because skeletons have simpler motives than things like demons and forest creatures.

>> No.32448324
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>> No.32448502
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>he doesn't have a stand

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>> No.32451012

>ohhh man, I am sooooo drunk!

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>> No.32451523

Meh. I'm more interested in boning.

>> No.32451985

>high fashion in wh40k.jpg

>> No.32452126 [SPOILER] 
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Why did that make me feel?

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>> No.32454469

To reply this passive-aggressively to a post that was obviously meant as a joke you are either insecure beyond all hope or a woman.

>> No.32456925

Think he was really fat when he was alive? Big boned and all that, but when he died he's suddenly all swole like.

Also why the fuck does he need skeletons to stand behind those candlestands? I'm pretty sure they can stand on their own, does he just feel safer with two other, thinner skeletons to remind him that he wasn't fat, just big boned?

>> No.32458642
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http:// 1d4chan.org /wiki/Major_Tom

The greatest of our time

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