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[ERROR] No.31812361 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Did you know that two thousand years ago a Roman citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words civis Romanus -- I am a Roman citizen. So great was the retribution of Rome, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31812387

>>31812361
>Free of the fear of molestation

If only because they defecated nearby.

http://www.pompeiana.org/resources/ancient/graffiti%20from%20pompeii.htm

I feel this is mandatory to be posted in any thread featuring Rome.

>> No.31812407

Big deal, you Atlanteans could do that ten thousand years ago.

>> No.31812433

>>31812361
I can fly.

>> No.31812467

A Roman could barely leave his villa without fear of molestation. The cities, the roads and especially the far-flung provinces were ratty with criminals. Now, being a Roman citizen -did- make you pretty immune from prosecution by the authorities of client states, who'd refer you to a Roman court.

>> No.31812509

>>31812361
>He could walk across the Earth unharmed
Sure, buddy, come to Parthia with that weak shit.

>> No.31812616

Oh those guys? Sure, they're pretty great for barbarians. We'll call them the Great Qin after our own past, because they are honorable, if primitive.

>> No.31812636

>>31812361
civie romanus sum if i remember my latin correctly

>> No.31812656

>>31812361
I too watched the West Wing.

>> No.31812713

>>31812656
Just one of the many beautiful, naive myths told on that wonderful show.

>> No.31813464

>>31812361

>laughinggermans.jpg

>> No.31813582

>>31812361
>laughingpicts.jpg

>> No.31813631

>>31812509

Don´t make me slap your shit again

>> No.31814396

>>31812361
Did you know that two thousand years ago a Mongolian citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Би Монгол улсын иргэн байна" -- I am a Mongolian Citizen. So great was the retribution of the Khanates, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31814441

>>31812387
I love the Pompeii graffiti. The image of the Romans is always one of brutal, stoic conquerors, its so tiresome. I love seeing silly Romans who sound like people who post on 4chan.

>> No.31814580

Did you know that two thousand years in the future a Solarian citizen could travel across the grid of the known colonized systems free of the fear of molestation? He could warp across the Starlit Empire unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." -- The motto of the Great Defensive Arm of the Solarian Theocracy. So great was the retribution of Sol, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31814586

>>31814441

>> No.31814633

>>31814396
Did you know that seven hundred years ago an Ottoman citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Ben bir Osmanlı vatandaşı değilim" -- I am an Ottoman citizen. So great was the retribution of the Ottoman Empire, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31814635

Rome was lousy with bandits and brigands throughout the countryside for all of its history. It only got worse as the Empire crumbled. Read a book.

>> No.31814705

Our disturbingly naive attitude towards American politics amid startling comparisons to the Roman Republic.

It is so easy to get suckered by the American Dream...

Fuck you Martin Sheen. Fuck you with a tomahawk.

>> No.31814716

>>31814396
>>31814633

i wonder how many more languages /tg/ knows

>> No.31814800

>>31812361
Muh Kitos war

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitos_War

>Major revolts by diasporic Jews in Cyrene (Cyrenaica), Cyprus, Mesopotamia and Aegyptus spiraled out of control, resulting in a widespread slaughter of Roman citizens and others (200,000 in Cyrene, 240,000 in Cyprus according to Cassius Dio

Muh Mithradates

>Soon after securing control of the province in about early April Mithridates proceeded with his plans. The massacre was carefully planned and co-ordinated to take the victims by surprise, in every community and all at once. In writing to all the civic authorities of the province, detailing the measures to be taken, the king stipulated that the killings were to be carried out exactly one month after the date of his letter. The date in question is not recorded but fell around early May 88 BC.
What took place on that day profoundly affected Roman/Hellenistic relations. Appian states that 80,000 Romans and Italians were killed in these "Asiatic Vespers".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Mithridatic_War

>> No.31814832

>>31814633
Did you know that five hundred years ago a Chinese citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "我是一個公民明" -- I am a Ming citizen. So great was the retribution of the Ming Dynasty, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>>31814716
I can keep going
Was gunna do Inca, but don't know Quechua

>> No.31814902

Hey, what language did the World's Greatest Empire speak? You know, the one that was around 150 years ago and conquered absolutely everything and -did- enforce a Civus Pax.

I'm sure it'll come back to me.

>> No.31815044

>>31814832
Did you know that one hundred and fifty years ago a Mexican citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Yo soy un ciudadano mexicano" -- I am a Mexican citizen. So great was the retribution of Mexico, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31815148

>>31815044
Did you know that one hundred years ago a British citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "I am a British Citizen" -- I am a British citizen. So great was the retribution of Britain, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31815213

>>31812361

thank you Jed Bartlett

>> No.31815216

>>31815148

Did you know that presently, American citizens pretend to be Canadian when abroad?

>> No.31815226

>>31815148
Did you know that two thousand and three hundred years ago a Macedonian citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Јас сум македонски државјанин" -- I am a Macedonian citizen. So great was the retribution of Alexander, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31815386

>>31815216
no, i didn't
this is the last one I'm making

>>31815226
Did you know that sixty years ago a Russian citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Я советский человек" -- I am a Soviet citizen. So great was the retribution of the USSR, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31815497

>>31815216
I think I should do this and be a complete asshole giving rise to the myth of a Canadian who doesn't say sorry.

>> No.31815517

id you know that one hundred years ago an Australian citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "I'm fuckin 'Strayan Cunt!" -- I am an Australian citizen. So great was the retribution of Australia, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31815558

>>31815517
you beat me too it, i was gonna throw a "shrimp on the barbie" in there somewhere though

>> No.31815600

>>31815558

Its actually the other way round - proclaiming to be Australia is the international signal that we're terribly unlikely to give a fuck about them not coming back.

All the ones we'd like returned to us pretend to be kiwis while abroad.

>> No.31815640

Did you know that a long time ago in a galaxy far far away a Imperial citizen could travel across the space lanes of the known galaxy free of the fear of molestation? He could fly across the Galaxy unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words Hail the Emperor, and Lord Vader -- I am a Imperial citizen. So great was the retribution of the Empire, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31815701

>>31815600
id you know that one hundred years ago an Australian citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "I'm fuckin 'Strayan Cunt!" -- I am an Australian citizen. So great was the retribution of the Australian in question, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall them.
>Fix'd?

>> No.31815965

>>31815497
Sorry, but Rob Ford beat you to that.

>> No.31816085

Did you know that two thousand years ago a Dulocian could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words Fuck Shrek -- I have his swamp. So great was the retribution of Farquaad, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31816302

>>31815386
Did you know that sixty years ago a Dutch citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Ik ben een Nederlandse civiele" -- I am a Dutch citizen. So great was the retribution of the Hague, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31816418

>>31815216
>American citizens pretend to be Canadian when abroad?
Makes sense, every where I have been had the locals despising Americans but being fine with pretty much any other nation, outside of the usual local hatred for local neighbour nations.

>> No.31816476

>>31815701
Did you know that one year ago an Australian citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "I'm fuckin 'Strayan Cunt!" -- I am an Australian citizen. So great was the apathy towards Australia, universally understood as certain, that no one cared enough to harm even one of its citizens.

>> No.31816729

>>31815216

Did you know that two years ago an American citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Je suis un Canadien" -- I am a Canadian citizen. So great was the politeness of Ottawa, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31816747

>>31816729
This is the best one yet

>> No.31816996

>>31816418
>locals hate America
>rural France
>any part of the Phillippines that isn't Muslim
>basically any country we liberated in WWII

>> No.31817015

>>31815965

Rob Ford says sorry all the time. He's just lying to your face when he does it.

>> No.31817058

>>31816996
Weird isn't it? I thought europeans prided themselves on being polite and hospitable. Or is that only eastern europeans?

>> No.31817066

>>31817015
No, he's just being sorry that he has to apologize.

>> No.31817119

>>31816302
Did you know that forty-five years ago a black man could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "All Power to the People" -- I am a nigger. So great was the retribution of the Black Panthers, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31817150

>>31817058
Western Europeans are afflicted with crippling self-awareness, despite having a miniscule history compared to some other civilizations. This leads some of them, specifically Parisians and Viennese, to act in the ways we stereotype them.

>tfw this is starting to happen to America, too

>> No.31817187

>>31814633
Degilim.
Am not.
Nice troll m8, i'll r8 8/ 10.

>> No.31817208

Did you know that less than a month ago a French citizen could take a walk across his neighbourhood free of the harassment of tourists? He could walk across Paris unbothered by foreigners, cloaked only in the protection of the words Va chier -- I am a French citizen. So great was the indifference of Paris, universally understood as certain, should any bother befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31817226

>>31817150
So yes it's only eastern europeans that don't act like massive assholes to everyone for no good reason?

>> No.31817265

>>31817226
Well, the Serbs do that to...

>> No.31817361

>>31816418
America-hate...wearies me. I feel like its become the rallying cry of angsty teenagers all over the world. Every ill is america's fault, if only we didn't exist, all would be sunshine and roses.

The 20th century was slated to have a superpower in it. We should be glad it was america and not one of the other contenders. And, morally speaking, America has improved MASSIVELY over the last 30 years or so. We used to let black people get lynched on a regular basis and imprison our own japanese citizens without anyone uttering a peep. Now, one asian twentysomething fails to get the point of a joke, and its national news. I think the worst thing we still have is our prison/legal system, and at least our prisons aren't hideous lightless hell-holes like the french.

We're also one of the few developed nations that's still old-fashioned enough to properly digest immigrants.

>> No.31817410

>>31817361
>I feel like its become the rallying cry of angsty teenagers all over the world.

It's been like that for half a century. Because for some America and ruthless capitalism/imperialism are synonymous.

>> No.31817538

>>31817410

Not to turn this into /pol/ as I find /tg/ to be a better bunch than that, but coming from an indigenous group that was legitimately "conquered" by the US in the 40s, in this case the Chamorro of Saipan, the United States has been a great boon.

That's not to say that it doesn't have tremendous downsides, but I can make a direct comparison to the Federated States of Micronesia and how they were given a choice to stay with the USA or leave of their own accord, they chose to leave.

For all intents and purposes both places, the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands and the Federated States of Micronesia are huge shitholes with no geopolitical power.

However...

In almost every respect the CNMI has been better off statistically. Not to mention the Chamorro have a very integrated respect for the US.

We've been nearly wiped out as a people by the Spanish (90% of the population wiped out from disease), the religion exterminated. The Germans controlled the Islands for a while and unfortunately the Japanese did during the first half of the 20th century.

There was one of the largest mass suicides in history on the island because of Japanese imperialism.

While I'm not one to side with the lesser of two evils. The US was an incredible boon in the 20th century. They could've used atomic weapons to conquer nations and enslave populations. They did not and not necessarily because of cold war politics, but because they were forward thinking people at the time. But that's another rant for another day.

>> No.31817626

>>31815701
Fucking Northern Territory

>> No.31817681

>>31816996
>Turks and Strayans shoot the shit out of each other in WWI
>Best mates

Not complaining. Good food.

>> No.31817690

>>31817538
>We've been nearly wiped out as a people by the Spanish

That seems to have been Spain's SOP back in the day, encounter previously undiscovered culture, kill all the men, rape all the women, teach them spanish, move to next undiscovered culture and repeat.

>> No.31817810

>>31817410
Blasted colonials, you call that ruthless capitalism/imperialism?

>> No.31817862

>>31817810
You had it easy Dad.

Barely anybody could compare to your fleets, we have it harder with all the good shit already taken AND we can't just hold people at ransom with nukes because every crackpot fucker has those as well.

The fuck do you even expect out of us?

>> No.31817883

>>31816302
I'd say that should be closer to three hundred fifty years ago. And your Dutch is wrong, the word for "citizen" is "staatsburger". And retribution would probably come from Amsterdam, the States General in The Hague didn't have much to tell about what the East and West Indies Companies did with their state sanctioned power...

>> No.31817995

>>31817862
I just simply can't understand you. "Oh, lets revolt against my monopolization of tea. Oh, let's drink coffee instead." And look at you, you can't get companies to run countries. You can't even abandon what little corporate regulation there is left! Back in my day, I could force people to buy my salt instead of getting their own from the sea, and run my own army! Your companies can barely bribe a judge.

>> No.31818004

>>31815216
I get more positive responses saying I'm from Texas instead of saying I'm from America.

Also why does everyone regardless of their language know how to say cowboy. As soon as they hear Texas it's "Cowboy!"

>> No.31818035

>>31818004
Spaghetti Westerns are popular

>> No.31818364

Did you know that seventy-five years ago a German citizen could walk across the relevant parts of Europe free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Ich bin deutscher Bürger" - "I am a German citizen". So great was the retribution of Berlin, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31818485

>>31816302
>civiele
Niemand zegt dat, idioot.

>> No.31818593

>>31814633
>Ben bir Osmanlı vatandaşı değilim
>I am not an Ottoman citizen
Aptal

>> No.31818630

>>31814902
French?

>> No.31818718

>>31818004
>positive responses saying I'm from Texas
Texans are expected to be loud and rude, but in a bonhomie cowboy sort of way where as other Americans are just loud and rude about being American

>> No.31818735

>>31818364
>"Ich bin deutscher Bürger" - "I am a German citizen".

I thought that's how you say "I am a dual German American citizen"

>> No.31818743

>>31817361
This isn't the thread for this bullshit, k?

>> No.31818791

>>31818718
It's more the politically correct racism that gets to you. Seriously 90% of the US tourists are nice people, but you get the one that looks at 1000 years of struggle, death and loss and calls it "cute" and remarks how these "quaint" people should "have solved their differences" or some other bullshit.

Just because you say "ethnically challenged" instead of "nigger", doesn't mean you're not a racist cunt.

Southerners are more honest in my experience. They will look at 1000 years of bloodshed and go "wtf guys", which at least hints at them thinking of us as humans instead of intelligent dogs or some shit.

And don't get me started on British tourists. Jesus if that island go away from the continent, we would all be better off.

>> No.31818812

>>31818791
Hahahhaa, wait, do people really use "ethnically challenged" IRL? I thought that was just a snide /pol/ way to call someone a nigger.

>> No.31821153

>>31818630

>> No.31821268

>>31818735
I'm pretty sure it relates to smoking dutchie and craving a burger.

>> No.31821424

>civis Romanus
>"I am a Roman citizen"

What did you use to translate that, Babelfish? "Civis Romanus" translates to "Shoot me on sight".

>> No.31821611

>>31812361
Yeah, that worked really well for Caesar when he was captured and held for ransom

>> No.31821623

>>31821424
"and hide the body"

>> No.31821661

>>31821611
Actually, it kind of did.

>> No.31821694

>>31817995
And when the Chinese got uppity we made them addicted to drugs, and if they complained we punched them in the face with one hand whilst ramming a hookah up their arse with the other!

>> No.31821704

>>31815226
I see what you did there you bastard.

>> No.31821754

>>31818791
>And don't get me started on British tourists. Jesus if that island go away from the continent, we would all be better off.

They are, if I recall correctly, ranked as the worst tourists in the world fairly frequently.

And regarding 'ethnically challenged', I flipped out and forgot the internet rule of don't get mad at comments when I saw on a forbes article about the new stars wars cast (itself rather obnoxious for being "It's too white and male waaaaaaahhh") someone saying it was a stretch to call Oscar Isaac a minority because of his heritage, that he looked like he could play a confederate soldier and that the person was arguing against someone saying "Well hold the phone 4 out of 7 of the main characters in the new star wars cast are minorities".

Say that again. "It's a stretch to call someone a minority because of their heritage". When the heritage of Oscar Isaac is Cuban and Guatamalan. It was blatantly the racism of reverse skin-caste. That if you're lighter skinned you're somehow less of a minority.

>> No.31821830

>>31812361
>civis Romanus

>> No.31821992

>>31816996
>basically any country we liberated in WWII
You mean, Japan? That's by far the only country you 'liberaed' in WWII. Most ow the work was done by the countries of USSR, a bit less by China and countries of Europe. Murrica was mostly profiting from selling weapons, testing their new weapons and doing some help in the final months of war. Compare the losses of each country, and you will see who was liberators, and who was scavengers.

>> No.31822074

>>31812361

Did you know that in the present day a American Citizen could barely walk across a room, due to being obese. So corpulent are these citizens, that they cannot even purchase more food without the aid of a scooter.

>> No.31822196

>>31821830

>> No.31822234

>>31821754
>>31818791
As a Brit, I'm usually embarrassed when I see other Brits abroad. They spend their time in Crete (for example), a place full of history and beautiful scenery, getting drunk and demanding the locals speak English. Fuck them.

>> No.31822241

>>31821992
Don't forget how Americans fucked up Korea and didn't let China gut Jang like the scum he was because of "muh containment."

>> No.31822929

>>31818004

Did you know that five years ago a Texas citizen could drive across the known world free of the fear of damn near anything? He could mosey across the Earth unharmed cloaked only in the protection of the words "Hey y'all where can a Texan get some grub round here? Here's a little something for your trouble Hoss."-"I am from Texas, and I tip well; also I'm probably armed." So great was the remuneration of Texans, universally understood as certain, people just sort of shrugged and went with it.

>> No.31822976

>>31822234

There's a saying I've heard that resonates in my head. The jist being "In America the division is race, in Britain it is class, in France it is religion". An oversimplification since race/class/religion factor into all three, but I think the brits get their chavs fucking around in Southern Europe and causing a lot of trouble.

>> No.31823017

>>31812361
What is this quote from? It sounds familiar but I forget.

I wanna say... Breaking Bad?

>> No.31823297

>>31822976
Eh, Britain seems to have an obsession with making new divisions. True, some of them are just to wind each other up with, but some are deeply worrying.

The Rich-Poor divide is coming along nicely while the government seem to be trying to strengthen the North-South one.....though that may be because they can't remember that places outside their estates exist....

>> No.31823334

>>31812361
>He could walk across the Earth unharmed
Except for pictlands

>> No.31823518

>>31812387
I love how half of them are private messages. "I can't be assed to write a note and put it on his door so I'll just write it on this wall here and hope he sees."

>> No.31823544

Did you know that 700 years ago a Serbian citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words Kosove je Srbija -- I am a Serbian citizen. So great was the retribution of Skopje, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens.

>> No.31823546

>>31817208
>Va chier -- I am a French citizen

>> No.31824096

>>31822976
Eh. I'm sure chavs are a majority of it, but I've just got back off a holiday with some friends who are usually lovely people, but half of them were faling-down drunk every night, flashing on the (family friendly) beach, swearing, etc. It's like we think that being in a hot country just changes the rules somehow.

>> No.31824238

>>31814396
Huang Zhong was a chinese Shu general
You plebeian.

>> No.31824255

>>31823544

At least TRY to seem like you're being serious with these man.

>> No.31824345

Did you know a few days ago a black man could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words "Fuck off nigga imma cap you in the fucking ass I swear" -- I am a nigger. So great was the retribution of the Bloods, universally understood as certain, should any harm befall even one of its niggas.

>>
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