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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.31455750 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>The first confirmed D20s came from Roman Egypt
>The Romans had 4chan
>The Romans must have had a board for discussing tabletop games and fantasy

What would Roman /tg/ be like?

>> No.31455806

It would be a group of old men, praying to their gods that in the future, humanity would not allow godawful ideas lie HFY or ERPG generals to take root in their sacred forum.

And we have failed them.

>> No.31455923

Probably Secundus trying to get people into his scat fetish magic realm.

>> No.31455933

>> No.31456026

>Not HFY

Hubris was not a roman sin, that was for the greeks.

>> No.31456050

There are few things more enjoyable to me than reading ancient graffiti.

>> No.31456086


>> No.31456087

Obligatory for every Threads speaking about Romans

>> No.31456089

They'd just be more homosexual about it, probably.

>> No.31456111

No, but really shitty writing was considered a crime punishable by death.

And, while the HFY sentiment isn't terrible, the constant shit threads filled with the same godawful stories (and new crimes of literature added all the time) is enough to make a man seek out a vomitorium.

It's not the idea, it's just the abhorrently bad execution and the constant repetition.

>> No.31456130

>Seek out a vomitorium

You'd seek out an exit hallway?

>> No.31456166

Vomitoriums were an element of satire. They were fictional.

>> No.31456170

>coliseum exit

So you want to leave the forum? Okay.

>> No.31456173


Judging by the context, that seems to work just fine. "These threads are awful, I'm leaving."

>> No.31456177

Secundus was just an attention whore tripfag.
I hope Lictors banned his shitposting ass.

>> No.31456206

OP was a fagot even in the days of Pharaoh

>> No.31456211

Wait, we're not supposed to vomit there?

Of all the misleading titles.

I apologize to the janitorial crews.

>> No.31456227

>"Secundus defecated here"
>in graffiti

I like what you did there, anon.

>> No.31456300

I, Epicicus Faggotus Anonymous, do affirm that during my most recent tabula that Thattius Guynix did suck many cocks. If you are ever approached by Thattius Guynix to join your tabula, do refer him to Pluto's thorny phallus.

>> No.31456322

Well for starters, most of the posters would probably be literal plebeians.

>> No.31456343

Prima Oratio enjoys being buggered by barbarians.

>> No.31456356

> Get rekt'd plebs

>> No.31456364


People would be arguing which forum is the best forum

>> No.31456404

"searching for 4 individuals to participate in gladiatorial roleplay for every Ides. bring your own dice and wax tablet"

>> No.31456447

I, Thattius Guynix, have adquired a numidian slave, what should I do.

>> No.31456453

like we don't do that every time a board interacts with another

>> No.31456455

>>>/Forum Boarium/

>> No.31456490

I assume most of their RPGs were based on Greek Myth, considering how big Greek shit was. So... yeah, pretty much the standard slaying monsters and stuff but with no elves.

>> No.31456496

Somewhere around what /tg/ is right now.
I bet Roman D&D would be fun as fuck.

>> No.31456529

>no elves

Pleb do you even kobaloi?

>> No.31456540

Looking for extra player for Labyrinths and Minotaurs. Need you to play a Myrmidon or a Legionary. Bring your own wine.

>> No.31456553

>no elves
How about nymphs and stuff? I mean, all mythologies have the whole "fair charming magical creatures in the woods" thing. The greek myths are actually closer to modern 'elves' than the nordic ones they're inspired by.

>> No.31456556

Greek Myth is F.A.T.A.L in steroids.
Like, "don't even roll about how much does it hurt this random god dick in your ass, I'm telling you: lots"

>> No.31456565

Averni & Hydrae?

>> No.31456575


I wonder if Gaius and Aulus played rpgs

>> No.31456581

Sadly I'm practically retarded when it comes to ancient history so I can't say much.

>> No.31456603

Averni is Latin for any cave or grotto, I just assumed it would work for dungeon.

And Hydras are pretty close to draconic,

>> No.31456617

>> No.31456632


Coliseums and Hydras?

>> No.31456634

Satyrs and Nymphs would be closer to Tolkienesque elves, and a lot cooler because they're more insane naturalistic

>> No.31456641


You wouldn't play as them, you'd fuck them. And then they would curse you or shit.

>> No.31456679


We'll say they did, because they are /tg/'s now.

I only wonder if their GM was any good.

>> No.31456683

RPGs aint nothing more than collective story telling with a bunch of rules and numbers to avoid the cancer that usually comes with freeform.
They probably invented some shit about how once they kicked a bunch of barbarian ass around the table of a tavern, to impress some wench. So yes, they played RPGs.

>> No.31456693

What would Roman /tg/ be like?
Something like this, I guess:

>> No.31456698

>impressing wenches
>not purchasing little boy pleasure slaves

>> No.31456701

>I have found a nymph maiden within my compounds, what should I do?
The varying responses would be
>Fuck it
>Dont' fuck it because it might be a god or goddess in disguise
>Fuck it anyway

>> No.31456727


Probably not, that's why they bailed and wrote grafiti on the walls

>> No.31456733

You only bug children when you are and old dude that his dick is about to explode. Younger people should fuck women.

>> No.31456756

>Fuck it BECAUSE it could be a god or goddess in disguise

fix'd that for ya

>> No.31456762


Younger Greeks and Romans trying to be fashionably Greek are supposed to fuck both. You fuck younger men because it's how people used to be bros. Same deal with samurai.

>> No.31456780

>Same deal with samurai.

wait wut?

>> No.31456793

Samurai fucked eachother, bro.

Like all the time.

>> No.31456802


Japan has a wonderful homosexual culture

>> No.31456811

>Onii-chan, your HONOR is too big!

>> No.31456821

Lots of niggers.

>> No.31456833


"You fucking asshole GM, how the fuck am I supposed to fight turned into a stag, my stats are total shit!"

"That's what you get for trying to go all magical realm on a fucking goddess, Acteon!"

"Shit, I was just looking, you fucking hypocrit. Every female player we've ever had has been scared off when you have Zeus rape their character."

"That's in character for Zeus!"

>> No.31456845

The Pompeii graffiti really is one of my most favourite things ever, social studies-wise. It really shows that after 2000 fucking years and all this advancement, being a fucking human being has barely changed at all. I love thinking about the lives of such people.

I wonder what Gaius and Aulus were doing those moments. What was going through their minds? What context did they write that message in? Were they piss drunk? Did they pass through hardship and felt a stronger bond of friendship due to this? Did they write it as a pisstake? Maybe to trick someone they knew and they weren't really bros at all?

Shit like this makes me wish I was both immortal AND a time-traveller. Just so I could chronicle all this fucking shit for the sake of it.

>> No.31456849

So would there still be monstergirls 'posted' on Roman/Greek /tg/?

>> No.31456858


It was very common for older samurai to befriend a younger one, and fuck their shota trainee-samurai regularly.

>> No.31456882


>> No.31456883


Well yeah, they made the goddamn monstergirl renaissance, they were all over that shit.

>> No.31456889

Careful now, we're dangerously close to turning this into a "which culture was the most homosex" discussion

>> No.31456898

>Folding a young boypussy a thousand times to forge the strongest bond.

>> No.31456908


All of them, of course.

History is incredibly homosexual

>> No.31456909

"Centaurs are the most purest of wenches."
"No they're not you plebeian, Medusae are."

>> No.31456930


>> No.31456931


>> No.31456932

I'm just going to say this right now:

Alexander the Great's mom claimed to have fucked a serpent, and that Alexander was the product of that union.

She felt this was a POSITIVE. (Admittedly, she also claimed the serpent was Zeus)

>> No.31456962

Nymphs, dryads, lamia, echidna, medusas....do you need me to go on, really?

>> No.31456964

"I smack the snakes with my staff."
"Hera transforms you into a young beautiful woman for this transgression."
"Gods fucking damn you DM. I'm not going to play if you keep pulling this shit."
"Your fault Tiresias. Now roll to not get dicked by a god."

>> No.31456971

dude, being a stag would be a huge buff.

>> No.31456996

I can just imagine Gorilla Warfare except it's about some guy who claims to be a demi-god obviously.

>> No.31457004


That's some shitposting.

>> No.31457010




>> No.31457036

the bottom guy looks like he's trying to say "Stop playing those fucking instruments and fucking HELP ME, I'M BEING RAPED GOD DAMNIT!"

>> No.31457049

Hannibal here.
Carthage is best
Rome is shit.

>> No.31457103

>Roman graffiti of a politician

>> No.31457110

Whatever, faggot.

>> No.31457138


>> No.31457169

>not allow ERPG generals
>Roman mythology/fiction
>Not allowing weird sex
Weren't the Romans just as bad with this kind of thing as the Ancient Greeks, even with the stuff that wasn't just straight up copied?

>> No.31457175

>winning war

>> No.31457191

European Knights (and of course priests) too

A lot of it seems to be about forming a bond with your teacher (which kinda makes sense, you learn from people you are close to)

God that's hilarious

>> No.31457206

A lot of people at the time thought that shit was pretty fucking gay.

Lots of the best Roman satire was written at this time.

>> No.31457244

>The Seleucids existed solely because no other nation wished to absorb them

>> No.31457254


There were plenty of stoics and no-fun-alloweds who didn't care for orgies and frollicking.

They were as shit-tier then as they are today though, and can rightly be ignored.

>> No.31457319


>> No.31457455

That is some JoJo level posing right there.

>> No.31457517

Trolling, shitposting, dirty jokes, and tabletop.
Human constants.

>> No.31457557

It was always a show of dominance, rather than respect between equals.

So, less bro, and more "My position outranks yours, so you are as to a woman to me."

I'd love watching how SJW try to spin what is basically one of the most demeaning and ultimately sexist practices into a noble act of equality.

>> No.31457609

Consider: we have found similarly ancient dice in China and Egypt. What their games and /tg/s would be like is just as big a question.

>> No.31457619

>I'd love watching how SJW try to spin what is basically one of the most demeaning and ultimately sexist practices into a noble act of equality.


>> No.31457704

Serves you right for never going to the dice threads.

>> No.31457730

You've never heard the whole "Well, the enlightened Greeks practiced pederasty, so homosexuality MUST be an enlightened practice" spiel?

The whole "old men in tunics had an established system of fucking their male inferiors, so gay marriage is what Socrates wanted when he said 'let my people go!' kind of talk"?

>> No.31457780

>No, you can't play horny vestal virgins, we already have five in the group.
>I am Lawful Good Proconsol of Hispania, I defend the poor and the weak, basically like emperor Marcus Aurelius Antoninus but without the beard.
>You all met on the bench of the theatrum during the bread distribution.
>I am the sole survivor of the lost legion of Germania, I have long hair and a black lorica segmentata. I have lost my shield and I only use a very large gladius I found in unknown lands. My tunica is black and I am very thin, almost anorexic, very pale, with dark hair and a cold expression on my face.
>I am a cleric, a servant of god Iulius Caesare, I can buff soldiers and heal wounds.
>I am a Roman-Celtic hybrid.
>No man, you can't play Greek in our game, Greeks are too fucking OP.

>> No.31457806

>That picture

>> No.31457832

>"I'm the last Spartan hoplite."

>> No.31457847


Only by reverse trolls.

>> No.31457857

I imagine considering the intense Hellenism later on, the guys who played Greeks in Roman RPGs were looked upon as people who played clearly Japanese characters - massive Weeaboos.

>> No.31457895

>I want to go to Greece someday, where people will respect me! I bet everyone there is like my Greek plays!

>> No.31457951

>I look a lot like Alexander the Grat, but we're not related (although I wish we were XDDDDD)
>I spend time with Orpheus, only he's dark and broody, he has black eyeliner, just like me and listens to decadent black syrinx music.
>You can't be a centaur in this campaign, I know it's just your fetish, I don't want to deal with the party fuck your horse butt.
>I am related to Seth, I have fur and a weird animal head, look, I made a Seth suit for myself!

Which logically leads to

>Everyone despises the Egyptians because of their furry pantheon

>> No.31457954

So, the word "Trivia" literally means "Three ways"
It came to have the meaning of useless information because Romans would put "current events" on signposts at crossroads, which quickly became outdated, and were constantly vandalized.

>Ancient Rome had message boards filled with useless info and pictures of cocks

They literally had 3chan

>> No.31457974


>> No.31458002

Rome had 3chan. America has 4chan. Clearly we are Rome's true heir.

>> No.31458004

This is an excellent post.

>> No.31458005

>18 sides
Dammit, Chinese manufacturing can't even make a 20 sided die without fucking it up or poisoning something with lead.

>> No.31458036

Yeah, depending on which fandom you consider, Greek enthusiasts will be the weaboos or the Elf-players from warhammer lore. Bullshiting overpowered fuckers.

>But the Greeks already invented everything before we did, they're so superior!
>Do you know a hoplite's ξίφος was made of the toughest bronze on earth? It was forged like 8000 times and almost had some carbon into it, they could cut through a sphinx with it, it's the bestest sword!
>Also the Greeks had a sense of honour and were morally superior to our blood hungry legions.

>> No.31458065

I'm pretty sure you can access 4chan from 90% of countries in the world

>> No.31458123

And you could access 3chan from 90% of the countries in the Roman world.

>> No.31458151

They did play a lotta backgammon.

>> No.31458191

In fact, so did Europeans.

>> No.31458209

And the Persians.

>> No.31458217

"I don't want to deal with the party fucking your horse butt"

>> No.31458228

And the Japanese.

>> No.31458360


>> No.31458410

I'm angry. Angry about Persians

>> No.31458426

You actually think it's satire.

>> No.31458454

>Everyone despises the Egyptians because of their furry pantheon

oh god, how did I never see this before? Ancient Egyptians were all furries.

curse you, now I'll never be able to unsee it.

>> No.31458455

The romans were smart enough to ban the ERP shit before it got out of hand

>> No.31458517


>Ban ERP shit

>> No.31458584


Okay, I REALLY wanna know the context here.

>> No.31458663

It's fairly obvious.

Homos try to have shameful secret sex, and a spy alerts the local Homo Shaming Band, to pull aside the curtain and start blaring out a tune of "YOU HAVE SHAMED ALL OF YOUR ANCESTORS."


>> No.31458690

Probably like what /tg/ is now except with more sodomy.

>> No.31458716


Oh man, I laughed so hard.

>> No.31458748

>implying we could have more sodomy

>> No.31458749

>more sodomy
>than /tg/

>> No.31458777


>> No.31458863

sup /tg/. Me and my fraters were down to start a new game, but my friend invited a new player and it turns out he's a fucking Christian. Because of their crazy Asian modesty laws he won't cut his beard and he wears this olive drab robe that makes him look like a filthy leper. He's fucking poor too because his wife has 3 kids (USE A FUCKING PESSARY) Normally we go whoring after the game but this fag always goes home instead. He's a total buzzkill at the table and always tries to get his character killed rather than fighting because he thinks it's honourable or some shit. I figure I'm going to kick him out of the group and then me and some old legion bros are going to set fire to his house

>> No.31458961

Have you tried talking to him like a rational statesman?

>> No.31458972


Sounds better than that time I was stationed in Judea. I swear to god this one Jew in the group was a fucking Zealot when he wasn't working his job.

>> No.31459091

>implying what /tg/ does even approaches the art form level the Romans took sodomy to.

>> No.31459110

Dude, Jews aren't THAT bad, they at least pay the damn tax. They're a legal and legit religion. These Christians are just a crackpot sect of the Jews. I wouldn't flip out over it though, I highly doubt it'll catch on past the real weirdos.

>> No.31459180

>gods randomly gender-bending you
>something bad
If you were a true roman and a roleplayer, you'd stick with it until another god randomly turned you back. Pleb is gonna pleb

>> No.31459188

Sometimes it was equality, but not when fucking a boy.

A lot of relationship advice people say the best thing is to have equality between partners.
If the partner can't be equal (because they are a woman) then you can't have a proper mutual relationship.
Still massively sexist and liable to be misread by SJWs though

>> No.31459252

As I recall, the solution was something to the effect of "Fuck you and your fucking snakes, Hera. Why are you always such a fucking bitch, you filthy cuckquean whore? I am now trampling your fucking snakes. How do you like that, bitch? Snakes getting crushed up in this shit!"

And then she turned him back.

>> No.31459266

who would be a mage?
Like, sure, celtics could go with druids and that would be fine, but I'm talking about the real shit. You know, fireballs, tsunamis, that kind of thing.

>> No.31459314

Well, there's witches like medea and circe. But they're almost invariably Feminine Evil, and the Dungeonmaster's Scroll strongly advises against letting PCs play as that alignment.

>> No.31459323

I..don't think I know that myth.

>> No.31459422

Do some fact checking you fucking caudex.

>> No.31459460

Is that Mr Magoo?

>> No.31459490

>that horrible feel when Gaius and Aulus probably died together during the volcano eruption.


>> No.31459537


No, /tg/ already discussed this, they surfed the lava to safety.

>> No.31459563

Is it possible to find their skeletal remains?

>> No.31459564

Egyptians, man, Egyptians. Those furry fucks are scary when they start summoning shit and Calling Names.

>> No.31459603

No, it's Dick Cheney is one of his earlier political roles.

>> No.31459667

Oh god. The Sphinx is just some phaoroh's shitty self insert.


>> No.31459791

While the way the anon put it wasn't exactly the way it went, it was true. Tiresias found the same two snakes and either a. let them fuck or b. just stomped on them like you see kids do to sand castles. Either way, he got turned back into a dude.

>> No.31459961


>> No.31461028

Tutankhamun the Sphinx
has sun powers like his father the god of the sun
runs faster than a lion
is really smart because he has a guys head he makes really good jokes that everydoby laughs at but noone knows the answer
is the ruler of all of egypt so people have to listen him
also lots of money because of he is the king
Going fast
being petted
going to parties
making jokes people have to ask

>> No.31461244

>pompeii graffiti
Holy shit, Rome was literally 4chan.

>> No.31461633

Something like a fourth of Egyptions also married their blood relatives. The middle east in general was, and still is, pretty big on incest.

>> No.31462485


>> No.31463036

You mean 3chan.

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