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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.30151095 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Caravans from many races have arrived at the entrance to the great Dwarven city you live in. You quickly hurry about gathering your wares in hopes of making a handsome profit...

>The object to your left is the type of products you specialize in.
>The object to your right is the fine material that they are made of.
>Behold! The object behind you is your grand opus! All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with your materials and shows a depiction of the last thing you did. (IRL)

How did the trading session go? Did you find great wealth?

>> No.30151152

Stuffed toy tatters.
Weird bowl thingy. It depicts a man riding a bus.

>> No.30151199

>3d printer

The traders were somewhat confused at my choice of material, but overall they were highly interested in my portable manufacturing and transportation devices. All in all a successful day.

>> No.30151384

Beanbags made of whisky, and an end table showing masturbation?
I'm about to get kicked out of the market for good, I fear...

>> No.30151421

Drawings of architectures and buildings on metal plates. The building drawings depict a fat man browsing some computer forum.

>> No.30151579

Stone wall

>> No.30151597

Books telling tales of supersoldiers from the far future made from aluminum? A bed made of books of aluminum and a depiction of eating?

I'm gonna go broke...

>> No.30151627

Laptops made of dr pepper and a book shelf made of dr pepper... well what the fuck.

>> No.30151661

Wooden mugs! Encrusted on a two-slot cabinet.

>Hey, this insane thing has something in it
>DARK ELDAR?! you faggot

>> No.30151900

Electric blankets made of scarfs. My magnum opus is a pillow. On the pillow is an image of a dwarf. The dwarf is studying.

>> No.30151936

>plastic cellphones
>big pillow encrusted with plastic cellphones
>depicts me being on the internet
I think this will go well

>> No.30151983

Remember, no farther than the main gates. It is vital that we keep outsiders outside so that we can secure the existence of our people and a future for dwarven children.

>> No.30152045

Made of cacti.

Huh. I think it'll sell well.

>> No.30152252

Made of pillows
with my finest ware being... a pillow

>> No.30152297

You sound so comfy.

>> No.30152303

glasses... made of dildos?

>> No.30152318

You dont even know

>> No.30152389

A set of paper headphones depicting a man. The man is eating.

>> No.30152497

>Made of wool
>A nighstand showing me laying the table for my brother's birthday

They liked the shoes but kept refering to them as 'socks' for a reason. They said the nighstand was too personal and didn't like it.
I sold a lot of these so-called 'socks' at least.

>> No.30152520

I specialize in building computers... out of porcelain..
And my magnum opus is a space heater, encrusted with somebody leaving my gaming group.
At least the barbarbars in the north will appreciate the heat.

>> No.30152802

Be-HOLD! This WOODEN THRONE is made of FINEST OAK ever found in our lands! What's more, an ENCHANTED PLATE is attached to it, and it allows you to SEE THINGS BEYOND SEEING! Only today, for REDUCED price!
somewhere deep inside is a fine carving of man pooping. Wizard said it's for the plate

>> No.30153152

Rolled 5

Earbuds. Cloth.
I roll to persuade the traders into buying many of my sound-blocking ear cloths.
And my magnum Opus is a sleeveless sweater depicting me swinging a somewhat long branch like a sword.
I cash out.

>> No.30153194

Rolled 19

However, my ear-buddies flop and lose significant cash on them

>> No.30155389

>Object to the left: University Physics textbook
>Object to the right: Paper with referrals to various clinical psychiatry institutions.
>Object behind: An amplifier.

My people are a bastion of knowledge and progress! Behold as the very laws of the universe are laid bare before you!

Our grandest work is a sound amplifier made entirely of paper. On the amplifier is a dwarf. The dwarf is gathering beads.

>> No.30155701

What, you couldn't find a picture of a real wooden chair to accompany that post?

>> No.30156240

>left: large high-def monitor with unassisted 3D capability, audio output, and touch/ audio input
>right: crystal wineglass
>behind me: boardroom table that seats around a dozen
>last thing I did irl: 12/10 orgasm
I'm not even joking here, folks. Apparently I've invented the fantasy version of the multi touch table, and the showreel includes interactive porn. It's unique, impressive, useful, shiny and expensive-looking even when not in operation, and travels well for what it is. And porn always sells.

Methinks I am one rich dwarf.

>> No.30156261


>> No.30156299

Playstation 2 depicting me dressing my offspring in pajamas

Dwarves are weird

>> No.30156389

>empty mug
>door (depicting me fapping)
>caravaners' faces when

>> No.30156449

>130 year old painting
>stained glass lamp
>ancient bookcase full of outdated legal texts

I am a scholar and an artist. It went flawlessly, and I have landed a contract to record seven hundred years of history in the windows of the grand cathedral. I and my heirs will live like dukes for seven generations, at the least.

>> No.30156469

I make plastic cups...

I need a good ass marketing team

>> No.30156500

So what you're saying is that you're a pantsless hobo passed out in a pile of bottles outside the tavern, and the back door has a cumstain on it.

>> No.30156579

>to my left is a WASR
>to my right is my mouse
Not so awesome.
>behind me
>last thing I did was watch anime

So a plastic WASR door with a carving of a guy watching anime on his computer?

>> No.30156601

>During this level of tech
Raking in gold

>> No.30156736

>fantasy multi touch table
Pretty fucking baller, son. I want one of those.

>> No.30156768

Chen is now one of your marketers

>> No.30156802

Apparently I am a glass weaver. Somehow I make attire out of glass.

>> No.30156851

>glass boxers

>> No.30157048

I'm nobody's son, son.

>> No.30157282


WE specialize in CELLULAR DEVICES made from the finest PARACORD

Our grand opus is MASKS. MASKS encrusted with PARACORD for extra survival needs and depicting a LONG VOYAGE AT SEA.

>> No.30157379

>trail mix
I make find the most beautiful trees that produce glass, then i gather the nuts and carve them into a mix.
Also a window which depicts me thoroughly scratching my balls.

>> No.30157813

>Pillow, with me masturbating


>> No.30158004

Pencils crafted from snack crumbs.
A whiteboard depicting a man masturbating.

>> No.30158276

>all these depictions of masturbation
Well no one has seen a dorf woman after all.

>> No.30158293

A wallet.
Speakers. (computer kind)
It depicts someone jacking off.

>> No.30158320

Forgot the item: It's a bed.

>> No.30159223


>> No.30159928

Bottles of nail polish remover made out of ceramics featuring me taking a shit.... I wish my girlfriend would stop leaving her shit on my desk. Maybe I can sell it to elves or get people to huff it.

>> No.30160118

there is more than one object to each of my cardinal directions.
Is distance to my person more important, or angle?

that is, 40 degrees north, 20 degrees down, and 15 centimenters from me there is a plate with a fork (is it the plate or the fork?), exactly to my left there is a wall, but it is a full meter away. between me and the wall there is a trash can, but it is much lower than me, such you have to angle downwards from my "left"

>> No.30160651

>fantasy crystal touchscreen table
This is so going in my next campaign.

>> No.30160682

>giving traders my shit
I'd rather just drown them and loot the corpses

>> No.30160781

>Aluminum bottlecaps
>Color Graphing Calculator
I think I'm gonna be fine.

>> No.30160858



Did I just sell a pack of cigs in front of a tobacco ad?

>> No.30161295

So much for return business.

>> No.30161575


Ah, Master Trader! I have constructed a magnificent bed frame/box, worthy of someone of such wondrous talent as yours.
Look closely, fine Sir! The headboard features your own great city in high relief! There, the High Temple! And, there, the spires of the Summer Palace!

And, again, I must thank you and your caravan for allowing a meager journeyman, such as I was, to accompany you back to your city for that year.

But, back to the frame! You can see the road as comes away from the gates, winding through the gentle foothills of the countryside until comes to the side of the frame here. As it parallels the Great River, you can almost see the months as they pass! Here, the road is muddy and grasses thick as the early spring rains wash along the countryside. Here, the city of Forkport! And, beyond it, the old stone highways of my forefathers, which run besides the rapids (one could almost see the water tumble) as it approaches our mountainhome.

Here, on the foot-board, The Greater Continental Range (or, yes, the Heights of Dwarves, as you say) with our great city in its winter splendor! The slopes are frosted and the King's Gate stands wide to all visitors.

Ah, but I know your time is limited today. Look to the other side there. The trek here and the roads are dried, the grass thin and the animals prepare themselves as autumn rolls along. And here, on the posts, you'll find reliefs of the animals and goods that you trade in!

How say you, Master Trader?

>> No.30161669

Resealable water bottles made of Styrofoam.
A book case filled with books detailing my latest adventures wasting time on the internet.

>> No.30161738

A problem, Master Trader?Yes! It was carved from one piece, excepting the posts. I know the wagons have not unlimited room on the vertical.
...oh. Yes, I see. I did not think of that. It would be too heavy and you would not be able to spare an entire wagon for this. Every wagon must profit, as you say.
Th-thank you for the compliment, Sir. Perhaps.. perhaps, I shall keep it here, Sir. Should you ever build a trader house here? Maybe?
Ah. Well, then a f-fine day to you, Sir. I shall try to be well.

>> No.30162053

I sell iced tea made of computer keyboards, and my greatest work is a printer encrusted with computer keyboards bearing a depiction of me playing Fire Emblem Awakening.

I'm clearly quite insane.

>> No.30163976

>water bottles of wood
>a pillow depicting a scholar
We meet again, Elf Caravan

>> No.30164188

So.. I make children out of busses. Check out this really cool one I made with a seat!

>> No.30164227

Behold, fair adventurers! Gaze upon my astounding blanket made of pillows! Never again shall thou grow uncomfortable on the road, for, while a mere blanket might basic covering, this blanket of pillows will ensure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you and your colleagues drift off to the realm of the dream god with unparalleled comfort!

>> No.30164275

A bed encrusted with an image of me browsing /tg/

So i don't think glass tissues would sell well, and neither would a dwarven bed filled with art of a guy barely moving for a few hours.

>> No.30164304

Object: Coushion. That's right, I sell only the finest household decoratives!

Material: Polyester. Yes sir, the new synthetic fabric, a dwarven marvel of alchemy seldom seen on the surface! Strong, durable as the best natural fabrics and at only half the price!

Object behind me: Mirror. Ah yes, yes another fine example of fine Dwarven craftsmanship. Exquisitely carved and backed with the purest silver mined in this very hold!

>> No.30164321

You are destined to die of poverty.

>> No.30164330


I, too, am strong in the iced tea craft.

>> No.30164339

Metal, of some variety it is a shed door
Pool table

Depends, do people need multitools and I don't think any of them no matter how novel are interested in a pool table made of metal with depictions of a guy playing dark souls.

>> No.30164344

I seem to be selling thin walled ceramic cups

and a masterwork flatscreen plasma screen tv seems to have an image of a dwarf touching himself inappropriately

>> No.30164405

Plastic computer mouse

I believe I have been laughed out of the market with my Recliner made of plastic drywall with a depiction of a human eating baked potatoes encrusted with butter, sour cream, cheese, and sriracha.

>> No.30164439

>The object to your left is the type of products you specialize in.
Water bottles.

>The object to your right is the fine material that they are made of.
Laptop Adaptors.

>Behold! The object behind you is your grand opus! All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with your materials and shows a depiction of the last thing you did. (IRL)
A brick wall. It shows a man using a laptop.

>> No.30164472

>Blanket, encrusted with tablet computers that depict a human masturbating.

This is going to be an interesting day.

>> No.30164475

>A standing fan encrusted with a mural of me jacking off

Apparently I turn beer into whiskey, which seems like a serious net gain.

On the other hand, my best craft is a three-bladed standing fan, and upon each blade is a gem-studded mural of me beating my meat like it owes me money. I have to hope that all my clients are wasted enough not to notice.

>> No.30165228

Architectural scale rulers made out of porcelain are my stock in trade. My meisterwerk is an architectural hardware catalogue decorated with a depiction of me drawing an elevation on Autocad. I think I'll sell more of the rulers.

>> No.30165411

glass water pipes,made of Katanas

a arrow depicting a fat man in a robe smoking weed

>> No.30165419

pants, made of metal.

And my grand opus is a bed depicting my destruction of a paladin through the foul treachery that is being a warlock (Just finished a Hearthstone game)

For once, I believe this random object thing actually made something for me that makes sense.

>> No.30165514

There is nothing to my left, but nature trees and grass shit.
I have a scarf next to me, do cloth?
Chair behind me, since I am sitting.
It depicts me fapping to dragons.

Guess I did poorly. Maybe the elves will like my nature made of cloth.

>> No.30165603

I make contact lenses out of network switches. I'm not entirely sure my dwarves are working particularly well, or indeed at all. And their great work is a table encrusted with a man sat at a table eating a bacon sandwich. These dwarves are shit.

>> No.30165748


very comfortable furniture. Perhaps cushions for palanquins, or a store specializing in the kind of pillow/lounges you see in Arabian tents?

>> No.30165795

this isn't fantasy, its IRL

>> No.30165811

to clarify, i mean that the touchscreen table is a real thing that people actually built IRL and not a holliwood prop

>> No.30165845

Left: empty cereal bowl
Right: Cellphone
What I just did: Eat my cereal
Digital cereal bowls with images of me eating my cereal?

>> No.30165860

Wolf Plushie
The finest quilt crafted from paracord depicting a dwarf sleeping comfortably.

>> No.30165928

I specialize in desks. They are made out of desks. Behold! My greatest work is creating a fine jacket encrusted with desks and featuring me sitting through a lecture. I am either a genius craftsman, or people have not caught onto my scam.

>> No.30165953

Fine kittenhide Laptops are a comfortable, shock-resistant(soft) computing solution with a soothing cooling-system sound popular across the country. But all of this pales to the appartment I crafted, whose walls are entirely made of kittens.

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