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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.25212457 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I have no idea if you could make a game out of this, but I hope someone somehow someday does.
>http://www.pompeiana.org/resources/ancient/graffiti%20from%20pompeii.htm


>I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

>I.4.5 (House of the Citharist; below a drawing of a man with a large nose); 2375: Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.

>II.2.3 (Bar of Athictus; right of the door); 8442: I screwed the barmaid

>VI.14.20 (House of Orpheus); 4523: I have buggered men

>III.5.1 (House of Pascius Hermes; left of the door); 7716: To the one defecating here. Beware of the curse. If you look down on this curse, may you have an angry Jupiter for an enemy.

>VII.9 (Eumachia Building, via della Abbondanza); 2048: Secundus likes to screw boys.

>VII.12.18-20 (the Lupinare); 2175: I screwed a lot of girls here.

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

>IX.8.3 (House of the Centenary; in the latrine near the front door); 5243: “Secundus defecated here” three time on one wall.

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1820: Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

>> No.25212516

There phrases remin me of Oglaf.

>> No.25212531

>>25212516
the lack of sleep affect my typing in a bad way, enough /tg/ for today

>> No.25212585

>>25212457
>The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
QFT, man, QFT.

>> No.25212607

>>25212457
>To the one defecating here. Beware of the curse. If you look down on this curse, may you have an angry Jupiter for an enemy.
This is an actual youtube comment two thousand years before youtube. The only thing it's missing is the 'write this message in three other toilets to free yourself of the curse' part, which I'm pretty sure was invented in Japan.

>> No.25212729

>>25212457

The ancient days of IVchan.

>> No.25212745

>roman goes home
>free jew
>now occupation end

>> No.25212853

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1820: Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

>> No.25212982

>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8767: Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.

Alpha as fuck

>> No.25213092

At every point where a road forked into two, Romans set up message boards. These boards would be filled, in theory, with news and facts about the nearby area, but in fact tended to be filled with graffiti, pictures of dicks, and useless facts about nothing(because of the nature of three roads meeting, this is the origin of the word "Trivia")

That's right. Ancient Rome had 3chan.

>> No.25213390

>>25212457
>underneath a drawing of a man with a large nose

>> No.25213506

>>25213092
I really wish that was where the term came from but it probably isn't.
While the word trivia does refer to a place where three roads meet, it also refers to the three essential parts of a citizen's education in ancient Greece which were rhetoric, logic, and grammar.
Ancient Roman graffiti is great and often hilarious, though.

>> No.25213571

Finally a chance to post this

>> No.25213627

>>25212457
>At Nuceria, look for Novellia Primigenia near the Roman gate in the prostitute’s district.

The more things change

>> No.25213650

Motherfucking Secundus, man. How much can that man's digestive tracts hold? He shits so much all over Pompeii.

>> No.25213676

>>25212457
I'm actually putting together a game that's basically Not Rome encroaching on Not Islamic Caliphate, and I'm planning on having the Hidden Hand (thieves' guild/mafia/black market magic traders run by the gnomes) leave coded messages to one another in the form of graffiti.

So this could help me a lot.

>> No.25213680

>>25213650
Secundus was actually a really common name meaning a second son, but I imagine being a second son would make you want to shit all over society in Rome

>> No.25213694

>(Bar of Prima); 8258, 8259: The story of Successus, Severus and Iris is played out on the walls of a bar: [Severus]: “Successus, a weaver, loves the innkeeper’s slave girl named Iris. She, however, does not love him. Still, he begs her to have pity on him. His rival wrote this. Goodbye.”. [Answer by Successus]: “Envious one, why do you get in the way. Submit to a handsomer man and one who is being treated very wrongly and good looking.” [Answer by Severus]: “I have spoken. I have written all there is to say. You love Iris, but she does not love you.”

Beta as fuck.

>> No.25213703

So does anyone have any good setting books for Pompeii? It sounds like a fucking awesome place for a game

>> No.25213706

>>25213650
I post this every time these come up in a thread, but basucally, I believe "Secundus" is a sort of an "anonymous" name, much like "John Doe" is today. If someone did something foul and you didn't know who it was, you'd just blame Secundus.
Not that I have any proof of that, but it seems plausible to me.
Or it's >>25213680

>> No.25213707

>>25213680
There were like only two dozen roman praenomen. And many families only used three or four. After which point every subsequent child was named numerically.

>> No.25213723

>>25213092
Citation, pls. I really want this to be true.

>> No.25213736

>>25213706
That's also a possibility. I figure the sheer banality of numeric first names would make them a bit easier to hide behind. That said I sort of doubt secundus would have been that common a name if only because few families would have exhausted their options at the second kid.

>> No.25213764

>>25213694
>Beta

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1824: Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?

Then that would be omega

>> No.25213800

>>25213723
Latin roots; "Tri" meaning Three, "Via" meaning way, combine to mean "The Place Where Three Ways Meet"

I haven't been able to find anything concrete on the Roman message boards, but all I did was check page one of google. It does, however, provide a good explanation for why a word meaning "where three roads meet" came to mean "useless knowledge"

If it weren't late I'd track down some scholarly sources

>> No.25213807

>VI.14.36 (Bar of Salvius); 3494: In one bar, a picture depicts two men playing dice. One shouts, “Six!” while his opponent holds up two fingers and says, “No, that’s not a ‘three’; it’s a ‘two’”. By the door of the bar, another picture shows a short man driving a group of men out. Above his head are the words, “Go on, get out of here! You have been fighting!”

I found IVchan's /tg/ wall

>> No.25213828

>>25213807
Looks like a drawthread.

>> No.25213831

>>25213764
Man, some anger issues.

>> No.25213851

>>25213807
They had dXX dice, you know.

>> No.25213863

>>25213800
That's what I found. It's plausible, but without better evidence it seems more like a conversation piece than etymological data.

>> No.25213902

This stuff is gold, man.

>VIII.7.6 (Inn of the Muledrivers; left of the door); 4957: We have wet the bed, host. I confess we have done wrong. If you want to know why, there was no chamber pot
Talk about beta!

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1926: Epaphra is not good at ball games.
>VIII.1 (above a bench outside the Marine Gate); 1751: If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.
"For a good time, call..."

And a bit of meta-graffiti:
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1904: O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin.

>> No.25213908

>>25213863
Not entirely reputable, but I think we can put Rome's IIIchan down as the oldest chan?

>> No.25213934

>>25213703
Yeah, just start an ancient roman campaign and have a timer that none of the players know about. They will be frozen in time doing whatever dumb murder hobo shit they were doing and you can eulogize them.

>> No.25213949

>>25213764
>>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1824: Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?

That's actually pretty poetic. I wish the taggers in my city were this artsy about their graffiti.

>> No.25213962

These Romans are fucking hilarious.
>I.2.23 (peristyle of the Tavern of Verecundus); 3951: Restitutus says: “Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”.
Modern people are too prudish.

>> No.25213997

>shitposting on ancient messageboards
>faggotry everywhere
>mods are a no-show

Truly nothing has changed.

>> No.25214024

>>25213997
VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1904: O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin.

This wall was always shit and you know it

>> No.25214030

>>25213962
I wonder if Restitutus and Restituta are related?

>mfw ancient Roman incest story

>> No.25214065

>>25213997
Mods = gods. They let things slide for a while in Pompeii, but when it finally got too much they brought down the ultimate banhammer.

(User was covered in molten lava for this post)

>> No.25214126

>>25213390
Nah

>> No.25214147

>>25213807
>over 9,000 hours in paint
For you, anonymous ancient dice-rollers

>> No.25214172

>>25214147

No beard on the Dwarven bouncer?

>> No.25214211

>>25214147

>> No.25214220

>>25214172
Fixed it just for you.

>> No.25214262

>>25214220
Man, I bet Romans had some sick RP systems. Playing the gods and shit.

>> No.25214265

>>25212516
>I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

Yep, they sound like it.

>> No.25214315

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1837: If you are able, but not willing, why do you put off our joy and kindle hope and tell me always to come back tomorrow. So, force me to die since you force me to live without you. Your gift will be to stop torturing me. Certainly, hope returns to the lover what it has once snatched away.

WHY DO YA BUILD ME UP, BUTTERCUP DARLIN JUST TO LET ME DOWN? AND WORST OF ALL, YOU NEVER CALL BABY WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL, BUT I LOVE YOU STILL I NEED YOU! MORE THAN ANYTHING DARLIN YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE FROM THE START. BUILD ME UP, BUTTERCUP DON'T BREAK MY HEART

>> No.25214317 [DELETED] 

>>25214265

>> No.25214330

>>25214220

Sweet.

>> No.25214353

So, if Romans had IVchan...
Gauls had Le reddit?

>> No.25214375

>>25212457
>The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
Words to live by.

>> No.25214407

>>25214315
This has all happened before and it shall all happen again.

So say we all.

>> No.25215188

>>25214407
Speak for yourself! I'm an individual!

>> No.25215278

>>25212457
why does it bother me that you choose a greek temple and not a roman one for a pic

>> No.25215310

>not posting about Gaius and Aukus, the bromance that will never be forgotten

That shit made me cry once. We don't know anying about these people other than that they were best friends, hundreds of years ago.

>> No.25215437

>>25215188
I'm an aduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuult

>> No.25215469

>>25215310
Where can I read about this?

>> No.25215496

Guys, Secundus is the Roman Wagner.
For those who know not who Wagner is, in port-a-potties all across Iraq and A-Stan, in EVERY port-a-potty, are the words, "Wagner loves the cock.".

>> No.25215499

>>25215188
>I'm unique
>Just like everyone else.

>> No.25215528

>>25215469
>I.7.8 (bar; left of the door); 8162: We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

Two thousand years ago, a pair of dudes were best friends and they liked to drink together. This is all we know about them, but it is enough to make them wonderfully human. It's beautiful.

All this graffiti shows what I hope to teach; that the people of history are just that - people - with emotions and friends and thoughts and dreams and a desire to fuck lots of girls and brag about it, just like us.

>> No.25215547

>>25212457
>Ancient Roman Graffiti
>Just like the comment section of YouTube but without the video

>> No.25215572

I believe this is all fairly tame as far as Roman graffiti goes. This was a city on the Peninsula hundreds of years into Rome's supremacy. Did it even have an arena? I don't recall but the towns with arenas had loads of graffiti just about them. Also Roman legionnaires were notorious potty mouths, inventing dozens and dozens of swear words and and shit loads of slang. Doubtless these men left their marks but these don't remain or those that do are few and far between.

>> No.25215578

>>25215528
Also they shat everywhere.

Fuckin' everywhere, man.

>> No.25215594

>>25215578

Just Secundus. What the fuck is his deal?

>> No.25215618

>>25215578
I think "defecated" is just the general term for it. If I remember my Latin classes correctly, it can also mean that they pissed there, which to be fair, is not much different to us.

>> No.25215624

>>25215594
>You will never be Secundus, defecating everywhere and screwing little boys
>And possibly also burning your penis by trying to screw fire

>> No.25215642

>>25215624
GROGTOK AM KING OF FIRE!

Someone make it sufficiently Roman, I have no idea how.

>> No.25215646

>>25215624

Fuck being Secundus, I want to be Theophilus. Eating girls out all over town. Hardcore dude.

>> No.25215660

>>25215496
why is that?

>> No.25215663

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
Confucius say!

>> No.25215669

>VII.12.35 (Vico d’ Eumachia, small room of a possible brothel); 2146: Vibius Restitutus slept here alone and missed his darling Urbana

Let this story sink in...
>Guy who misses his love goes to a brothel to try to ease his sorry
>Can't go through with it no matter how socially acceptable it is
>spends the night alone and missing his love.

Can anyone else say 'awww'?

>> No.25215689

>>25215669
That man needs to go out for drinks with Gaius and Aulus!

>> No.25215703

>>25215669
Or
>Guy goes to brothel looking for his favorite hooker.
>She's not working that night
>Sleeps alone in a spare room

>> No.25215709

>>25215572
I'd love to hear some Legion slang. What was the Roman YOLO?

>> No.25215712

>>25215703
Now that's love!

>> No.25215721

>>25215528
One of my profs specializes in ancient greek magic, because he was tired of how greece fanboys portray them as eternally reasonable pseudo Vulcans.

>> No.25215737

>>25215660
The Secundus ones are like that.
>VII.9 (Eumachia Building, via della Abbondanza); 2048: Secundus likes to screw boys.
IX.8.3 (House of the Centenary; in the latrine near the front door); 5243: “Secundus defecated here” three time on one wall.

>> No.25215755

>>25215703
Or
>Guy goes to brothel looking for his favorite hooker
>She's already working for another dude
>Sleeps along in a spare room, hearing her going at it.

Beta as fuck.

>> No.25215762

>VI.16.15 (atrium of the House of Pinarius); 6842: If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend


Aww.

>> No.25215771

>>25215669
>>25215703
>>25215755
And we'll never know for sure. How sad.

>> No.25215821

My dad's the reason I'm big into history. He loved stuff like this, the real human side of it.

One night, we were talking about the fall of Rome, and he invented a story about a Legionnaire coming home from some campaign to find everything wrecked. He described his life for the next twenty years as this guy lived without a home or a reason to fight, and how nobody thought his SPQR tattoo was cool anymore.

It stuck with me, and made me cry; I was little.

I plan to p,ay some version of him someday.

>> No.25215836

>>25215709
It has been argued that "carpe diem" is an approximate equivalent.

However, it lacks "yolo"s connotation of absolute stupidity

>> No.25215839

I swear to god, I am going to find a way to incorporate two NPCs into my campaign named Gaius and Aulus, as the two biggest bros in all of Creation.

>> No.25215852

>VII.12.35 (Vico d’ Eumachia, small room of a possible brothel); 2145: Gaius Valerius Venustus, soldier of the 1st praetorian cohort, in the century of Rufus, screwer of women
Knight of the Realm, defender of the Faith, banger of your mom...

>> No.25215867

>>25215821
Your father is/was a scholar and gentleman. A pity my family doesnt share my taste for storytelling. But I am hoping I can be one day remembered as you remember your father now. As a guy who sits at the fire and tells stories.

>> No.25215868

>>25215642
> I, Grogtok, King of fire, shall bugger it when I please, for I am it's master.

>> No.25215869

>>25215572
Pompeii had the oldest Stone Amphitheater. Rome was still having games in wooden amphitheater for nearly 100 year until the Colosseum was made.

I actually did a research project on the Graffiti about gladiatorial games. There is plenty of it at Pompeii.

>> No.25215894

>>25215867

My dad's a tough man to love, for a lot of reasons. But he's gifted me with twin loves for storytelling and history. It's a decent part of why I'm here, it's part of why I write, and it's part of why I'm looking at a terrible salary in a time of constant budget cuts. I start as a History major in three months.

>> No.25215930

>>25215894
I hope what ever university you go to has a good History program for Ancient Rome. Where I am at it was lack luster and only one of the two professors was good. I am pretty happy that I stuck with the Classics instead.

>> No.25217313

>>25215771
You know what is the worst.
Not only that he was Beta, but that the fucking internet, 2000 years later, knows it.
And he didn't need to post in on facebook.
Wow.

>> No.25217419

>>25215836

To be fair, that's because Latin as a whole has gained a lot of respect and dignity over the years. "Carpe diem" might have had the exact same stupid connotation back then, depending on who used it and when. Secundus might just have said "carpe diem" whenever anyone called him out in him shitting everywhere, or Gaius and Aulus might have said it before knocking back the 1st drink of the night.

>> No.25217466

>Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10675: Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.

ALPHA

AS

FUCK

>> No.25217491

Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10677: Apelles the chamberlain with Dexter, a slave of Caesar, ate here most agreeably and had a screw at the same time.

>> No.25217510

>>25217419
Eh. "Seize the day" sounds so much more badass, with a "who dares, wins" quality to it.

YOLO just feels like "be a fucktard anyways, you might as well just do it now."

>> No.25217541

These threads are glorious.

>> No.25217574

Ave! my name is Cinna.

I'm a XXVII year old Provinciales (that's a Roman inflvenced foreigner for yov Barbari). I do mosaics and frescoes on villa walls and spend my days perfecting my art and watching svperior Roman games. (Gladiatores, Navmachia, Venationes, Lvdi Circenses).

I train with my Gladivs every day, this short compact weapon allows for fast slashes and qvick stabs, and when paired with a scvtvm or caetra, is vastly svperior to any other weapon on Earth. I bought my gladivs with my own salarivm two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Latin flvently, both classic and vvlgar Latin, and I write flvently as well. I know everything about Roma's gloriovs history and the Roman Way, which I follow 100%

When Roma incorporates my province into the Imperivm, I am moving to Roma to join the Roman avxilia and svpport Roma's all-conqvering legiones. I hope I svrvive to become a Roman Citizen after my service, and then enter politics!

I own several togae, which I wear arovnd town. I want to get vsed to wearing them before I move to Roma, so I can fit in easier. I salvte my elders and seniores and speak Latin as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

>> No.25217633

>>25217574
GOLD

>> No.25217755

>>25214172
If you had a beard you were liable to get mugged, robbed an buggered, because only elder statesmen with guards and barbarian had beards.

>> No.25217830

>>25212457
Priapus
I warn you, boy, you will be screwed; girl, you will be fucked;

a third penalty awaits the bearded thief.
If a woman steals from me, or a man, or a boy,

let the first give me her cunt, the second his head, the third his buttocks.
My dick will go through the middle of boys and the middle of girls,

but with bearded men it will aim only for the top.[17]

>> No.25217860

>>25217574
Brilliant

>Roman Way, which I follow 100%
>not writing percentury

>> No.25217863

>>25215721
>specializes in ancient greek magic
he's a wizard?

>> No.25217865

>>25217830

>> No.25217898

>>25217830
>I AM THE NIGHT

>> No.25217904

>>25217860
Wouldn't it be per centum?

>> No.25217967

>>25217904
I have NO fucking idea. I can only do pseudo latin a la Warhammer 40k.

>>25217830
pic related

>> No.25217987

>>25213703
The Cambridge Latin books.

>> No.25218004

How come no one pointed out that we had this thread?
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20487840/

It was even pretty recent

>> No.25218136

>>25217987
Caecilius est in horto motherfucker

>> No.25218170

>>25215618
Perhaps, but you really wouldn't have time to doodle a graffiti if you just took a leak, would you?

>> No.25218171

>>25217510
Ironically, Carpe Diem is used in an opposite manner to how it's intended.

It means "do something sensible rather than be a prat", so in some ways it is like YOLO, since if you only live once, why take fucking huge risks?

>> No.25218176

>>25218136
Fucking Quintus.

>> No.25218182

>>25215188
We're all individuals!

>> No.25218190

>>25218182
I'm not.

>> No.25218203

>>25217830
Wait...Is he threatening to face rape any adult male robbers, behead them or to cut off the head and rape their neck hole?

>> No.25218210

>>25218203
Yes

>> No.25218220

>>25212457
VII.15.11-12 (House of Verus; between the two doors of the house); 4838: Secundus says hello to his friends.

>> No.25218232

>>25218220
>the only place in Rome where he didn't shit

>> No.25218245

>>25218232
>implying his friends weren't a couple of lumps of shit he'd just moved out of his bowels.

>> No.25218267

>>25218176
Metella was such a MLP

Mater libet pedicabo

>> No.25218268

>>25218220
>how do you think he said hello to his friends

>> No.25218276

>>25218245
>Which he then screwed while defacating further.

And what the sweet everloving fuck do you call that act?

THE NOBILES!

>> No.25218280

So if this graffiti is their equivalent of 4chan posting...

does that mean my theory that the Bible was just a fanfic that got a little overhyped is right?

>> No.25218288

>>25213902
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1926: Epaphra is not good at ball games.

Holy fucking shit

>> No.25218292

>>25212457
II.3.10 (Pottery Shop or Bar of Nicanor; right of the door); 10070: Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’

>> No.25218296

>>25218280
No.

The bible is what 50 Shades of Grey in the future will be.

>> No.25218308

>>25218296
I don't want to live forever anymore.

>> No.25218322

>>25218292
>Lesbianus is such a noob

>> No.25218337

>II.3.10 (Pottery Shop or Bar of Nicanor; right of the door); 10070: Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’
>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread
>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread
>V.5 (just outside the Vesuvius gate); 6641: Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place
>V.5.3 (barracks of the Julian-Claudian gladiators; column in the peristyle); 4289: Celadus the Thracian gladiator is the delight of all the girls
>VI.14.43 (atrium of a House of the Large Brothel); 1520: Blondie has taught me to hate dark-haired girls. I shall hat them, if I can, but I wouldn’t mind loving them. Pompeian Venus Fisica wrote this.
>VII.6.35 (Brothel of Venus; on the Vico dei Soprastanti opposite the Vicolo del Gallo); 1645: May Love burn in some lonely mountains whoever wants to rape my girl friend!
>VII.2.18 (vicolo del Panattiere, House of the Vibii, Merchants); 3117: Atimetus got me pregnant
>VII.2.48 (House of Caprasius Primus); 3061: I don’t want to sell my husband, not for all the gold in the world
>VII.12.18-20 (the Lupinare); 2185: On June 15th, Hermeros screwed here with Phileterus and Caphisus.
>VII.12.18-20 (the Lupinare); 2192: Sollemnes, you screw well!
>VII.12.35 (Vico d’ Eumachia, small room of a possible brothel); 2145: Gaius Valerius Venustus, soldier of the 1st praetorian cohort, in the century of Rufus, screwer of women
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1816: Epaphra, you are bald!
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1852: Pyrrhus to his colleague Chius: I grieve because I hear you have died; and so farewell.
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1863: Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it’s your right
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1880: The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian.
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1881: Virgula to her friend Tertius: you are disgusting!
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1951: Sarra, you are not being very nice, leaving me all alone like this

>> No.25218348

>>25214030
Restituta is Restitutus' wife. Roman women didn't have names so much as tags that tell you who owns them.

>> No.25218350

>>25218337
>>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1816: Epaphra, you are bald!

OH SNAP SON

>> No.25218356

Bump

>> No.25218357

>>25218337
IX.8.3 (House of the Centenary; in the atrium); 5213: My lusty son, with how many women have you had sexual relations?

>Herculaneum (on a water distribution tower); 10488: Anyone who wants to defecate in this place is advised to move along. If you act contrary to this warning, you will have to pay a penalty. Children must pay [number missing] silver coins. Slaves will be beaten on their behinds.

>IX.1.26 (atrium of the House of the Jews); 2409a: Stronius Stronnius knows nothing!

>> No.25218388

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1863: Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it’s your right

>> No.25218397

It's great how even though that was, what, 2000 years ago, it's still the same shit as you see on public "bulletin boards" and/or bathroom stalls today.
Even down to "house for rent, inquire here:" and "for a good time, call..." shit.

>> No.25218404

>>25218357
>Stronius Stronnius
What a shitty name

>> No.25218408

>>25212457
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1864: Samius to Cornelius: go hang yourself!

Fucking kill yourself.

>> No.25218422

>>25213962
That's more or less 'tits or GTFO', I guess.

>> No.25218430

Time for Catullus 16

I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,
Cocksucking Aurelius and bottom-man Furius,
You who think that I'm a pussy
Because of my delicate verses.
It's right for the devoted poet
To be chaste himself, but it's not
Necessary for his verses to be so.
Verses which then have taste and charm,
If they are delicate and sexy,
And when they can incite an itch,
And I don't mean for boys, but in
Those hairy old men who can't get their dicks up.
You, because you have read of my thousands of kisses,
You think I'm a pussy?
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you.

>> No.25218437

>>25212457
>III.5.3 (on the wall in the street); 8898: Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

Theophilus has no class.

>> No.25218454

>VIII.1 (above a bench outside the Marine Gate); 1751: If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.

I'm pretty sure it's less "for a good time, call..." and more "hey, you Attice? She'll suck you for tuppence, the whore"

>> No.25218457

>>25218397
We come a long way baby.

>> No.25218460

>>25218397
It's even older than that. Just like the ancient greeks we're all talking about nothing important in forums.

>> No.25218474

>>25218460
Nostradamus was just the IRC handle of Michel de Nostradame.

>> No.25218490

>>25218454
Hey, that's just over a day's wage for a soldier.

>> No.25218499

>>25218474
And his "prophecies" were just dropping acid and forum-posting what he saw while smashed out of his own head. We just don't have records of the posts about miniature dogs trying to eat his toes and spiders crawling out from under his fingernails.

>> No.25218516

>>25218499
On the other hand, he made some very nice jam.

>> No.25218520

>>25218516
Someone watches QI.

>> No.25218534

>>25218520
Hah yes. And Only Connect. I love Trivia.

>> No.25218538

>>25218520
My uncle directs it.

>> No.25218560

>>25218538
My dad works for nintendo, that's why I have Pokemon purple.

>> No.25218571

>>25218337
>>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1863: Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it’s your right

Rape the maids

>> No.25218598

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1928: Love dictates to me as I write and Cupid shows me the way, but may I die if god should wish me to go on without you

That's...that's beautiful. Fucking beautiful.

>> No.25218610

>Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10678: Apelles Mus and his brother Dexter each pleasurably had sex with two girls twice.

BROS 4 LIFE

>> No.25218630

>>25218397
Everything ever is nothing but a repost of a repost of a repost.

You bet your ass that some Roman told his friends 'The Sumerians and Babylonians talked about the same shit we talk about, and wrote about how many girls they fucked onto their latrine walls'

>> No.25218677

>>25213571
>Psion/Wizard
>Brawler Fighter

Best team ever.

>> No.25218682

>>25217574
I have an issue with this, i mean look at this word
>Vvlgar
How the hell would Romans know when a "v" is a "vee" and not a "u"?

>> No.25218695

>>25218337
>>VII.12.35 (Vico d’ Eumachia, small room of a possible brothel); 2145: Gaius Valerius Venustus, soldier of the 1st praetorian cohort, in the century of Rufus, screwer of women

This is now my next character.

>> No.25218698

>>25218337
>>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1880: The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian.

As a member of the Barbarian community, I find this offensive.

>> No.25218704

>>25218682
The same reason you know when to pronounce a v as a w or an f.

>> No.25218831

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1811: A small problem gets larger if you ignore it.

My problem is that that whore, Attice, tried to charge me six coins! The nerve. And now my problem is growing! Hahah.

>> No.25218870

>>25214353

>>Gauls
>>Having anything

Obviously kidding Gauls were more civilized than we give them credit ect.

But I feel like the Greeks would be Reddit, even if it messes with the chronology (reddit coming after IVchan), it fits the greek motif of smug superiority and hypocricy to a T.

>> No.25218889

>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8767: Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.

>> No.25218897

>>25218870
So the Saxons were 9fag and the Engles Facebook?

>> No.25219003

>Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.

In ancient roam, drunks throw out YOU

>> No.25219807

>>25218430
>Top legionarie in the entire SPQR.txt

>> No.25219871

Secondus is such a whore.

>> No.25220033

Rolled 6

>>25215737
I think he was asking about the portable toilets.

>> No.25220159

>>25217510
in 2000 years YOLO will be seen in the same light that we see carpe diem, trust me.

>> No.25220419

>>25214220
methinks I smell a sexy new banner

>> No.25222060

>>25218630
But way, WAY back, Ugg and Thog were the first to draw on the walls of their cave how many women they had mated with.

>> No.25222130

>>25218630
>Gilgamesh was here
>All of them

>> No.25222283

>> No.25222771

>>25222283
>Legionary Tightus Maximus
Fixed.

>> No.25223782

>>25218004

Shh... Let them be unique.

>> No.25224043

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1863: Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it’s your right

Fucking /r9k/!

>> No.25224097

>Ancient Roman graffiti

>> No.25224175

>VI.14.20 (House of OP); 4523: I have buggered men

The legend never dies.

>> No.25224271

>>25222060
Many women?
They fucked the same bitch, who was also their mother and aunt.

>> No.25224344

>>25224097
... They called Romanes, they go the house?

>> No.25224457

>>25224344
I think it's the badly declined "Romans go home!" graffiti from Life of Brian

>> No.25224676

>>25218430
Fucking shit yeah.

>> No.25224734

>>25224457

>> No.25225281

>>25218348
Restituta should be Restitutus's daughter. Roman women were usually named after their father's nomen.

eg. (true historical figures)
C. Julius Caesar -> Julia
M. Tullius Cicero -> Tulliola ("little Tullia")
G. Octavius -> Octavia Minor & Octavia Major (the younger & the elder)
L. Vorenus (from HBO's Rome) -> Vorena

>> No.25225282

>>25217466
>Two friends were here
>spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores
Is this Gaius and Aulus?

>> No.25225349

>>25215624
That moment when you realize Secundus was the Roman equivalent of Florida Man.

>> No.25225422

Now I'm wondering, what were the Roman equivalent of weeaboos? What country/nationality did they obsessively worship while knowing nothing about?

>> No.25225442

>>25225422
Greekaboos obviously.

>> No.25225711

>>25225442
Ancient Greeks? Could such a thing be possible?

>> No.25226072

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1797: No young buck is complete until he has fallen in love

>tfw no gf

>> No.25226916

>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread

Is that a euphemism, or was some guy so happy about learning to bake that he went and wrote it on a wall?

>> No.25226982

>>25226916
>Gladiator Barracks

it might actually be the latter.

>> No.25227003

>>25226916
Could have been a message for someone or the person was just bored.

>II.7 (traditional games); 8792: On April 19th, I made meatbread

>> No.25227070

>>25213571
That one is also my favorite.

>> No.25227718

>>25226916
Maybe Roman slang?

>> No.25227817

>>25227718
Maybe it means making money? Like you need money to eat?

>> No.25228210

>>25227817
I'm pretty sure "Bread" and "Dough" being slang for money came from the 1920s.

>> No.25228381

>>25227817
Maybe it means "I stuck it in her pooper"

>> No.25228396

>>25228210
I always figured it just got big then. Thought it was related to the biblical passage about our daily bread.

>> No.25228494

>II.4.1 (bar; left of the door, near a picture of Mercury); 8475: Palmyra, the thirst-quencher
>Palmyra, the thirst-quencher

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE PALMYRA AN ENERGY DRINK NOW

>> No.25228877

>>25228494
God, that really does sound like a commercial.

>> No.25228887

>>25228494
"Palmyra: The Thirst Quencher" sounds like the worlds least scary Lovecraftian elder god

>> No.25229041

>>25228494
>>25228877
IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANCIENT ROMANS, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!

>> No.25230015

>>25228494
>Palmyra
That was actually an ancient Syrian city according to google. Also a suburb of Perth, WA.

>> No.25230140

>>25229041
>It's been over 2050 years since Julius Caesar died.
>Palmyra Energy Drink is almost 2000% more popular than its leading rival in the field of Ancient Roman-themed beverages. That's only 0.025% inferior to Julius Caesar himself
>So when you need a thirst quencher, you need Palmyra
>Warning: Not for woman who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant

>> No.25230628

>>25215528
It was posted->>25213571

>> No.25231092

>>25218682

>> No.25233816

>>25230140
But it's laced with lead!

>> No.25233964

>>25233816
For your benefit of doing heavy drinking.

>> No.25234137

>>25225711
It's quite common knowledge that after the conquest of Greece in 146 AC the roman upper classes fell in love with greek culture, from the arts to fucking young boys. Such ellenization of roman culture was also the subject of a very important political rivalty among the Scipiones and Cato Major.

>> No.25234155

>>25213807
>Pointing your fingers in the air and shouting numbers
No, you found roman /v/

>> No.25234183

>>25234155

>> No.25234230

>>25218870
le socrates face

>> No.25234325

>>25215836
>>25217419
What about #swag, how doth one discern their equivalent of #swag, guys? It's important to know these things.

>> No.25234336

>>25234155

>> No.25234390

>>25224175

>> No.25234395

>>25226072

>> No.25234399

>>25234155
Roman /v/->Yuri.

>> No.25234405

>>25227718
Gladiator barracks, could be some weird barbarian slang, like those fuggin' hairy northern fuckers or some kinda brown folks or something, with their weird, unintelligible Germanic or Numidian chimpspeak or some shit

>> No.25234421

>>25234405
U W(romans lack of zero)t mVIII

>> No.25234502

>>25224175
>(House of OP)

>> No.25234709

>VI.14.37 (Wood-Working Shop of Potitus): 3498: What a lot of tricks you use to deceive, innkeeper. You sell water but drink unmixed wine
>Complaining about an innkeeper
>Written in a wood-working shop
I think we know why he's getting water.

>> No.25234997

>>25234709
Jesus Christ, Anon, that's contrived.

>> No.25237485

Secundus is That Guy.

>> No.25238083

>>25237485
Hey, man, no one you know is That Guy enough to be remembered millennia later.

>> No.25238146

>>25238083
Secundus is The Guy

>> No.25238188

>>25238083
Except Secundus. He probably defecated on tables without using a coaster.

>>
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