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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.10914904 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>> No.10914930

This fucking thread again? REALLY?!

>> No.10914942


>> No.10914957

Ladies and gentlemen the tollplayers of /tg/ proudly present...

Warhammer 40k: A Space Opera.

>> No.10914964


One a day is enough.

>> No.10914973

Oh boy, more garbage for the Janitor to take out

>> No.10914992

ITT: dey mad

>> No.10915005


>> No.10915008


That's awesome.

>> No.10915032


Oh shure darlings, 40K am zee star uv zee show... again, jah.

>> No.10915051


I dare say you are most correct.

>> No.10915055


I've been here pretty long but I've only ever heard reference of you. Hello.

>> No.10915060

How is everyone?

>> No.10915073

ITT: /tg/ becomes an instant messenger

>> No.10915081


Quite well though a bit bored, you?

>> No.10915084

So, gnoll females have pseudopenises...

Have you ever, you know.

Good. Twisting /tg/'s collective panties is always a good laugh,

>> No.10915103

Evening, all.

>> No.10915131

Well, I think either the colonel intends to give me a promotion, or I'm going to be executed for heresy. Eitherway, I've got a meeting with him and the commissar. I don't have the faintest clue what I'd be executed for though...

True. How the burns doing?

>> No.10915136

Afternoon gentlemen, heretics, daemons, loyalists, Adeptus Mechanicus, battle sisters/brothers.

>> No.10915144


Then I take it they confirmed your field promotion to guardsman.

>> No.10915158

Good luck with that, dude. Just remember: Hesitation equals heresy.

Same to you.

>> No.10915174

Yep! I'm also the best outfitted guardsman in the unit, short of the officers; I've got carapace armor and a hellgun. Funny thing is, I'm technically only train as a chimera operator.

>> No.10915179



>> No.10915182


Beware of looters.

>> No.10915197

Oh god a genestealer! Its going to om-nom me!

>> No.10915201


Did you rape the Interrogator again?

>> No.10915214


>> No.10915221

I'll get the flamethrower.

>> No.10915222




>> No.10915225

So, um, are you here to kill us all?

>> No.10915236


Bad genestealer, bad.

>> No.10915238


nooo. We'll return the interrogator in a while

>> No.10915244

D'aww, it looks kinda cute.

>> No.10915250

Oh, ok then. I'm Guardsmen John Maccabeus, pleasure to meet you.

>> No.10915263


What are you doing up in th- Never mind I got a pretty good idea.

>> No.10915265


And then we'll have to take the genestealer gland off his chest.

>> No.10915273

Hey guys, isn't /tg/ a great place to talk about anything but /tg/ related topics?

I'll join in the mediocre roleplaying with you guys and we can continue pretending this stuff is traditional games.

>> No.10915285

Okay, maybe I won't torch it. It is kind of cute...but why are you in the air duct?

>> No.10915291

>pretending this stuff is traditional games

>> No.10915292

You don't know what they do, man.
Thing, I dunno.

...Okay, not going to ask.
Is he going to grow more arms or something now?

>> No.10915308

>I'm off to see if I can get tickets for the A-Team, be back later yo'

>> No.10915309

This should be good...

>> No.10915326


oh, never mind, they're done

>Emaciated Nailio drops from another vent
>dehdrated, fluids on his torn clothing, etc
>powerfist drops from the vent as well

See you~

>> No.10915332

Better. Still hurts like a bitch to come into physical contact with... anything, though.

FFFFFF-- fucking tyranids! Get out of here, you are a tyranid, you can't post on imageboards you are a bug

Glad you're enjoying yourself.

>> No.10915348


>skittering in vents

>> No.10915354

Oh. Hey.

>> No.10915365

>has a Nailio then a Powerfist dropped on him

>> No.10915367

Hey, trollplayers or whatever you call yourselves. What page or at least book do you find the red-dot targeting laser and Auto Senses?

I swear to god, if this is in the first Dark Heresy rule book I will beat myself with a steel pipe.

>> No.10915372

Ill be in my room. Getting some sleep. And when I wake up Ill need some pants, and a Heavy Flamer.

>> No.10915378

Why hello there...

>> No.10915382


(I think its in the core rulebook for the red dot, not sure about the other)

>> No.10915385

I'm 90% sure they're either in the first, or in the Inquisitor's Handbook. Can't remember more than that though.

>> No.10915400

>implying any of these queers actually know shit about DH

>> No.10915405


Hallo. Am joo zum sort uv diving instruktor, darling?



>> No.10915407


>Grabs Nimue's shoulder.

Guardians. Guardians everywhere.

>> No.10915409

>gains footing
Loving the new look. I must have missed something, where'd you get that?

>> No.10915415

Steel pipe, here I come.

>> No.10915422

>badly written accents

God damn I hate when people do this in RP sessions.

>> No.10915428


Jesus. You've gone all captain badass on us. You weren't lying when you said the "Badest of asses"

>> No.10915432

>Revvs Eviscerator, puts on rapeface.

>> No.10915433

Have you ever stuck it in a dude, I think is what she's asking.

>> No.10915437

She does have a bad ass...

>> No.10915443


>...I've got bad news. But I can tell you what they do by posting a couple pics.

>> No.10915451

Huh. The price you pay I guess. So, how's Arcani?

>> No.10915457

>giant chainsword
oh boy oh boy oh boy
So she's giving everyone stuff, then. So is she a power-armored, female Drusus Claus?

>> No.10915471


Zat am goot look fhor joo~

>> No.10915481


>> No.10915491


>Here friend.

>> No.10915496

Oh boy. How'd you get burns?

>> No.10915520


>> No.10915530

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddded I found them. Was looking in the wrong section.
Upgrading to lead pipe.

Thanks for the help though.

>> No.10915543

Huh, didn't find that chart though.

Well, thanks again.

>> No.10915563

>So she's giving everyone stuff

Are you confusing her for Terminator?

>> No.10915568

>Core rulebook, page 141 I think.

>> No.10915587


Diving? No... I'm an imperial Vindicare Assassin.

>No prob. Make sure that steel pipe has the mono upgrade, so you can pipe through armor.

>> No.10915590

She's giving everyone training and wards that hurt to be within five metres of, I mean. Terminator will forever be the adorable 2+ armour save blob of love with the infinite ammo code.

>> No.10915591

Pretty much that, yeah.

Fuck if I know. Gave the little shit to Berserker.

>> No.10915592

The only things those two give out are Smites, Purges, and holier-than-thou lectures.

>> No.10915617

Well, Varity purified Alex and Nimue. She also gave Nimue the weapons and armor.

Terminator gave Varity a melta gun, training from the grey knights, armor from the grey knights, an Astartes Heavy bolter, and a Warhound Titan.

>> No.10915622

So is there an actual game going on here or are you guys just chatting about random stuff with /tg/-related names?

>> No.10915633

Huh. Well, what have you been up to?

You give out daemon weapons.

>> No.10915653

A little bit of both. Sometimes there are Dark Heresy rule based battles. Other times they just have fun while sticking to the theme and lour of 40k in the tiji sector.

>> No.10915657

>and a Warhound Titan.

What the fuck, those things need a whole crew to pilot. Or does she just surf into battle standing atop the head?

>> No.10915661

oh no!
another 40k thread?

come on guys, there are a lot of other good games out there. Really

>> No.10915664

>Mostly space drama about a gang of deamons a flok of humans. Hilarity ensues. Some nights its just a gunfight. Like that night we all tried to kill each other.

>> No.10915671

I got a cloak from Varity once. It blew up when I tried to put warp in it.
Medic's coming along well, by the way.

>Terminator gave Varity a melta gun, training from the grey knights, armor from the grey knights, an Astartes Heavy bolter, and a Warhound Titan
When you put it that way it seems like he has an infinite ammo code for EVERYTHING.

A bit of both.

>> No.10915675

That, and just general dicking around.

Don't forget the occasional flip-out genocide when they don't get their way, like pic related.

>> No.10915700

Oh yeah. Showed that to my friend who the story is based off of. He laughed good.

>> No.10915713

>That, and just general dicking around.

So I suppose I can just call myself something 40k related and suddenly unrelated topics are OK?

>> No.10915716

He gave it to her order technically.

This is over the course of the two years (real time) that they have known each other. Plus, being an Iron Hands has to help a lot.

>> No.10915730


>Go for it.

>> No.10915739

Daemon weapons are ten-a-penny for me. I could hand them out like sweets and no-one back home would notice they were going missing.

Medic? Oh, yea. Well, good for him, I guess. Better he's off helping Mum than Tzeentch or something.

Is that a Fire Warrior riding a flying Techpriest? Shooting giant lasers at everything?

>> No.10915754

We only run one at a time and ride em to auto-delete.

>> No.10915783

Still, that's...pretty wild.

By 'coming along well' I mean 'I'm trolling his arse'.
>Daemon weapons are ten-a-penny for me
Hm. I don't have access to any daemon weapons.
...Do you have any spares? Specifically looking for something that increases, y'know, rage.

>> No.10915784

Oi! Ye gok wan stop 'ittin on 'er. She's mine, feckwit!

>> No.10915796

>Its a pic of a story I told about me riding on the back of my friend's tech priest as he flies into battle. (a talent you get later)

>> No.10915804


Drinking tea and reading books. The usual. Fateweaver asked if I wanted to watch him obliterate another invading Khornate legion, but I passed as I was in the middle of a particularly good chapter.

They might be good with their oversized meatcleavers, but it doesn't help much against the might of Tzeentch's favoured.

>> No.10915815

Whatever happened to Tarvus, loyal former Techmarine?

>> No.10915828


I'm not hitting on anything. I'm just saying I'm not a diver...

>> No.10915833


Something I miss?

>> No.10915838

Thats true. Do you believe the saying, that there's a certain level of force no strategy can defend against? Then again, I don't see a legion of Khorn followers having a strategy...

>> No.10915841

Didn't Mom give you a big flaming sword, or something? Or was that Ali?

Either way, I'm not sure how a Slaaneshi would do with a Khornate Daemon Weapon. I suspect it would end badly either for you or the sword. If you're desperate, I could dig one up, but don't blame me of the Bloodletter sucks you inside the blade with him.

>> No.10915888


Inside the deamon weapon... With a horny bloodletter... Tarvus is a deamonette... Yup. Conclusion obvious.

>> No.10915889

Well, that makes...a little more sense, I guess...


>They might be good with their oversized meatcleavers, but it doesn't help much against the might of Tzeentch's favoured.

Yea, and all those fancy spells and fireworks you like shooting off look pretty, for sure, but they don't help much when you've got a Hellblade shoved through your skull.

>> No.10915895

...He's still here. I can't exactly serve the Imperium in the same capacity as I could as an Astartes, but I'm doing my best with what is available to me.

Alistasia set fire to my rapier, yes. And I was thinking of giving it to Medic, actually.

>> No.10915918

>They were out of tickets D:


>> No.10915926

By gathering loads of daemon weapons and being a daemon.

Well, whatever floats your boat. I'm gonna see if Varity's cool with me giving her ship's crew grenade launchers with dummy rounds and having them fire at me until I can dodge them all. Gotta get my agility up.

Then more sword practice.

>> No.10915928

That too.

>Inside the deamon weapon... With a horny bloodletter... Tarvus is a deamonette... Yup. Conclusion obvious
Me, chasing the bloodletter around after cutting off its arms and tormenting it for all eternity?

>> No.10915940

Don't need strategy when their battleplan is "Run in, hope it does any good."

It never does. For them. A Lord of Change alone can take on innumerable Khornates, simply because of the ease they can eradicate legions with their magic. But then again, Khorne has followers in ample supply. My prediction is that it's going to pittle out as the Lords of Change grow bored and simply wall the two realms apart. They've got schemes they'd rather attend to.

I was at a music festival hosted in Tzeentch's realm. I hung out too long exposed to the Eternal Flame of Change, and got a wee bit sunburned. My skin feels like a purse.

>> No.10915949

Gahahahaha. Now that's a worthy cause if I ever heard one.

Here. It's possessed with Gargrathrax the Ever-Raging, punished to languish in his prison as punishment for smashing one of Khorne's favorite statues in his mindless fury.

>> No.10915951

>Has 12 dodge rolls

Agility you say? Sounds like assassin training. There's an intensive course for that but you're gonna have to start by killing your competitors on the way to the course. Its like an entry test.

>> No.10915968

>Looks around
Quite a crowd today, eh?

>> No.10915970

>gathering loads of daemon weapons
I don't have any at the moment! Seriousl-
>Then more sword practice
>sword practice
Boffer swords. No wards, final destination.

>> No.10915991

>has pathetic weapon skill

I don't know...

>> No.10916022

>A Lord of Change alone can take on innumerable Khornates,

Sure they can. There's very little I love more than the sight of a Bloodthirster ripping the heads off one of those overgrown turkeys.

Sure is.

>> No.10916030


Oh, hey... how are you doing?

>> No.10916035

Apparently Sarge.

>> No.10916036

I know, right?
Also, hello.

>Produces special daemon-weapon handling tongs.
>puts weapon into box, marked 'FOR MEDIC'.

...Not to mention the look one of them gets when you set them on fire.
Ah, memories.

>> No.10916057


Uh? Oh yes, hello.

>> No.10916065

Now listen, there's no need to fight.

>> No.10916078

> Heads into a sideroom. Comes out a few moments later, sans-armour and with what appears to be a foam Eviscerator.
I'm almost certain you'll wreck me but it'd be fun anyway.

>> No.10916080


You're gonna give the angry sword to... Hehehehe...

>> No.10916104

I'm. Uhm. Okay. Practiced bowling over entire packs of Horrors in one charge from my Chariot.


Oh yea. I mean, just earlier today right, one of our Soulgrinders doused the thing with enough molten metal to fill a small lake. The look on the feathered freak's face was priceless. Good times.

>> No.10916130

Pfft. I'd call that Darwin at work. If a Lord of Change is stupid enough to actually let anything get into melee range, no one is going to shed a tear when he's torn apart. I mean, seriously, just rend the earth in twain. Make a chasm, and continue smashing the stupid wankers with Bolts of Change.

I'm not fighting. I don't even have any offensive powers anymore. I'm just making an observation.

>> No.10916150

Likely story 'at is. Ye wanna fight abaht it?

>> No.10916158


So John how're those two hellpistols treating you? You should get skilled with them so you can use both at the same time effectively.

>> No.10916165


Just did some reading, nothing as grand or interesting as you... did.

>> No.10916167

>foam eviscerator
>foam chain-weapon
>my face
>Holds up boffersword infront of face at guard position
Ladies first.

>looks over
I set our own resident fledgling on fire at one point, with my rapier. Just poke and FWOMPH.

>> No.10916193

rolled 9 = 9

> Grins, hefts the weapon-- non-working chain, okay-- and charges! Blood for the god Emperor! Skulls for the Golden Throne!
> Charge attack! Vs. BS 42 + 10!

>> No.10916208

>If a Lord of Change is stupid enough to actually let anything get into melee range

Why do you think Khorne gives his Bloodthirsters wings?

Oh. So. About last night.

What, Zeeny's kid? Oh, Warp, we're pretty much the worst parents and babysitters ever.

>> No.10916228

>Suddenly, Out of nowhere

>> No.10916236

>Use your WS for your stabbin'. Unless you're throwing the sword, or something.
>Oh omnissiah.

>> No.10916241

So that the Lords of Change have something to practice their aim with giant, telekinetically lifted boulders with. They squeal in the funniest way when they get one thrown straight through their wings.

Especially when they land right back into their own legions.

>> No.10916261


>> No.10916282


>Its fucking nothing

... same old

>> No.10916285


Yes. About last night.

>> No.10916300


I'm not that violent a guy usually... Unless it involves a "flying into the maw of hell" scenario.

>> No.10916317

> I typo'd! That IS my WS. So low! But still, 4 degrees of success...

>> No.10916322


>> No.10916324

rolled 29 = 29

>looks back, and suddenly FOAM CHAIN WEAPON
>Parrying, versus 65+10 Balanced +10 Best Quality!

>> No.10916325



>> No.10916333

Well 'at's a real coincidence innit! Me new flamer's name 'appens t' be "Maw Ov 'Ell".

>> No.10916352

All that shows is that Tzeentch CHEATS. He's too much of a chicken to have his legions fight fair.

Yea. I get the feeling one of us was on the verge of saying something important.

>> No.10916362

rolled 31 = 31

>Ha-HA! Riposte! Versus 65!

>> No.10916397


We don't always cheat.

We just like playing around with our enemies.

That and true Lords of Change can see the lines of the future.

>> No.10916405

rolled 58 = 58

>Attempts to dodge! Vs .. 35...

>> No.10916422


Errrrrr... Can I respond to this in a way that won't involve a gun fight?

>> No.10916429


You seem unnaturally happy today.

>> No.10916442


>Looks around
I... agree, I think something important was said...

>> No.10916443

Ye gok wan buy me a drink.

>> No.10916459

Gaahrg. Hitting you is like trying to punch a waterfall. I can make a big splash but not actually damage anything.

Or something like that.

See, this is why I need more training.

>> No.10916462

Fair? Pfft. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. Besides, it was *you* who started it. If you don't like how your enemy fights, fight something else.

Damn Khornates. "HURRR WE NOT WIN? RAEG MORE."

>> No.10916474

Remember when Alex was talking about how you captured someone's attention yesterday? Alex reveled that the man he was talking about was himself but you didn't hear it.

>> No.10916475


Done and done. In fact I think I'll join in if that's fine with you. What's your poison? I've got some Amasec in the shuttle. Not sure what Rubric keeps around here.

>> No.10916478


Anyone would if they have the feeling something delicious will be happening.

>> No.10916499


...Oh bother.

>> No.10916523

So, who thinks Sarge and Khornette will hook up? Becuase I'm tired of this will they or won't they.


>> No.10916548


Shhhh boy. Love takes time. You gotta let it bloo- Oh fuck did I just say that. Dammit.

>> No.10916549

rolled 43 = 43

You need to connect your actions. Never stop moving, or, in your case, swinging-You have a deadly weapon, you don't need to swing it with ALL OF YOUR MIGHT.
That, and you're much more protected than me in a fight, what with that armour you had before.
And what do you mean, you need more training? You're getting some right now.
En garde!
>Aimed standard attack, versus, uh, 65+10(BQ)+10(Aimed)=85!

>> No.10916550


I really don't know.

>> No.10916556

Anyfin' wot's got sugar in it an' kicks like a mule.

>> No.10916558

Uh, so, is >>10916474 true? And you're not worried about Varity dragging you off for execution like she did with Narl?

Uh, no, WE didn't start anything. YOU invaded US because Dad through a fit at Valkia's mirror being stolen by Changeling.

>> No.10916567


>> No.10916583



>under breath
Oh I invaded you alright

>> No.10916587

As long as I get to watch.

See above.

*You*, as in *you* were the one who did the switcharoo. Even if you weren't aware of it. Still, what could I expect from you when it came to scheming? And hey, *I'm* not complaining. We're winning.

>> No.10916592


Just don't tell her anything. Also getting freaky with him will probably BURN horribly...

>> No.10916602

>Looks around some more and takes mask off
Can we go somewhere more private... please?

>> No.10916606

It's not so much Varity as Nimue. He doesn't know who he wants to have a relationship with. He's having trouble choosing between either you or Nimue.

>> No.10916619


When did my life get a narrator?

>> No.10916624

We have to stop meeting like this.

>> No.10916625


Alright let me go get the Amasec from the shuttle then

>Heads off to shuttle bay

>> No.10916633

>Oh I invaded you alright

>> No.10916641

Okay, that's hot. And not in the bad way.

>> No.10916645

How was I supposed to know what Alis had planned? I thought she just wanted to LOOK at it! And you're only winning for the moment. I've been rounding up as many Heralds of Slaanesh and even a couple of Keepers who're sick of Tzeentch's dickery are interested in allying with Dad and I.

>> No.10916646

About 15 minutes ago

>> No.10916649 [DELETED] 


Oh this is going to be too good.

>> No.10916661

Uh, sure. Where did you have in mind?

>> No.10916664


Do I have to pay you or anything, insurance, health care?

>> No.10916671

He was thinking in your pants.

>> No.10916677

Ok betting pool.

What would you call fair odds?

>> No.10916687

No, an inquisitor is paying me.

>> No.10916689


It depends, can you enter Varity's shuttle?

>> No.10916696


Yes... we do.

>> No.10916702

Why are you so intent on watching?

>> No.10916711

So long as I don't touch anything other than the floor, yes, I think so. She'll likely know I was there, though.

>> No.10916713

(do I really have to flex my artistic muscle here...)

>> No.10916716

Narrator powers activate

>Just then Alex notices that there is a small shuttle in Rubrics docking bay that no one heretical or holy has touched.

>> No.10916719

>removes head from beak
one of these days
>Slaanesh allying with Khorne
Oh boy, this I have to see.
Is Tzeentch going to grab Nurgle and make it a foursome?

>Varity's shuttle
I bet it's warded to the Eye and back.

>> No.10916724


>> No.10916727

one day mario woke up and decided to take a shit because hey he's mario. so mario went up to yoshi and said "yoshi i want you to be my shitter" and since yoshi was mario's bitch he opened his mouth. mario pulled down his stained briefs and began to shit in yoshi's mouth. yoshi was forbidden to express any emotions but at this moment he was feeling very aroused.

>> No.10916735

mario's face turned red as he grunted and strained to push his log of shit out of his ass. he farted and little shit particles flew into yoshi's eyes. yoshi's eyes teared up, not from the pain of the shit particles nor from the paint-peeling stench coming from mario's unwashed ass, but from the sheer ecstasy of being mario's shitter. mario noticed this and began to grunt harder, teasing the horny beast.

>> No.10916741

>Has returned with two bottles of Amasec and a pair of glasses from the shuttle bay.


I'm gonna start call Alex the space pimp. Honestly. Shuffling around ladies like a pack of cards Alex? You dog you.

Mind you its not the healthiest hobby...

>No fucking in my shuttle. Happened once. Never again.

>> No.10916748

mario noticed that yoshi was fiddling around with his dino-wiener, which had become quite erect. "stop that this instant" commanded mario, noticing his own 2-incher was growing hard as well. yoshi whined and reluctantly lowered his hands. with a final grunt and a smelly fart, mario's log of shit finally dropped from his ass into yoshi's mouth.

>> No.10916752

Pffahahahaha. Bring it.

Because... I'm not lonely or anything. It's just, uh, I don't, you know I don't have alot to do lately, what with not having any powers... Fuck, I just want to watch, okay? Why wouldn't I? I have a perfectly healthy love life!

>> No.10916762


>Awwww he just couldn't stay away.

>> No.10916764

>Varity and Alex.

Not on your life. Varity will probably never have romantic interests in anyone.

>> No.10916768

mario turned around and watched as yoshi chewed the shit log. "eat it bitch. eat it all" said mario. yoshi pretended he hated doing this so much but his throbbing wiener and moans of joy told mario otherwise. "swallow it" ordered mario but yoshi didn't want to swallow it yet. he wanted to savor the shit. "SWALLOW IT RIGHT NOW" screamed mario as he began wang-slapping yoshi across the face.

>> No.10916769


Ah, carry on then.

>Looks at Carlo
>My face (minus mask)

>Ha ha ha no.


Uh.. shall we then?

>> No.10916774

rolled 86 = 86

> Gets clocked in the head, caught unawares

Ah you fuck!
>Retaliates, aimed standard attack! Vs. 42 + 10!

>> No.10916776

You haven't had sex or even a hug in quite a while huh.

>> No.10916778

mario, hands on his hips, thrust his pelvis from side to side across yoshi's face, punishing the naughty dinosaur. "YOU DO WHAT MARIO TELLS YOU" he screamed. after about fourty wang-slaps his wiener started to become sore so he stopped. by now the shit log had gone down yoshi's throat. "eggulate" he ordered. yoshi strained and produced an egg. inside this egg contained what was previously his shit log. mario walked over to his shelf and placed it with the others. he had hundreds possibly thousands of these shit-eggs. he planned to use these against bowser the next time he kidnapped peach.
now there was only one thing left to do.

>> No.10916782

Except Terminator. And Narl.

>> No.10916792

mario bent over and pointed his ass at yoshi who immediately knew what to do. he began to use his tongue to clean mario's shitty ass. mario couldn't hold it back. his peener let loose with some "italian ranch dressing." this brought yoshi to an orgasm as well. with both their wieners pleasantly limp and tingling they continued with the cleaning process. "don't forget to thorougly clean the dingleberries from the hairs" mario advised. yoshi obeyed his master. ten minutes later mario decided he was clean and put his clothes back on. now it was luigi's turn with yoshi.

>> No.10916798

>inb4 Tzeentchette decides she wants to know what Alex tastes like


Unless... you have a better idea, I just don't want the others to... bother.

>> No.10916799

Narl was more of a friend an-wait.

>> No.10916805


Yeah but one is... and the other is a machine man with no penis...

>> No.10916806

Yes. Good idea.

She was date-raped by, then briefly married to, Doomrider. Even I've had more success.

>> No.10916812

You need to switch it out. It's not nearly as bad after the first 3-4 times.

>> No.10916816


>> No.10916823

::takes th' bottle, ignawers th' glass::

>> No.10916829

"yo luigi i got him warned up for you" mario called as he walked out of the yoshi room. luigi walked in past him with a sly smile under his mustache and carrying an apple and a hot wheels car. "hello yoshi guess what time it is again" he said in a low voice as he locked the door behind him. mario walked out into the kitchen ignoring yoshi's squeals of pain and joy, and poured himself a bowl of cereal. unfortunately he had forgotten to purchase milk, but he could improvise. he took out his wiener and peed into his cheerios.

>> No.10916831


Emperor-damn Alex. Can't keep that lance in your pants? Just don't pull a DOOMRIDER...

>> No.10916839

mario sat down in front of the tv and began to eat his cheerios and pee while periodically scratching his balls. "hey these cheerios and pee aren't half bad" mario said out loud and contemplated having another bowl before he realized that he was all out of pee. luigi had now returned, panting and sweating. "yo luigi let me borrow some of your pee" said mario as he pointed the bowl at luigi's crotch. "gee mario i don't know what you would want with my pee but sure" said luigi as he unzipped his overalls.

>> No.10916841


There's another shuttle over there we can use if Varity's... makes you uncomfortable... I guess...

>> No.10916842

Maybe she should try dating again. Hell, berserker is raising her child and he recently got out of a relationship too.

>> No.10916849

luigi filled mario's bowl but still had some more pee left in him. he took this opportunity to mark his territory around the house. first he peed on his side of the couch then he peed on his chair at the dining table. he only had a little pee left so he had to make this last one count. he looked around the room and spotted his brother. he ran up and peed on mario, marking him as his own. "no one else can have you!!" shouted luigi. mario "accidentally" got some of luigi's pee in his mouth.

>> No.10916852

>falls out of a vent

>> No.10916853


>A little unprepared for her taking the whole damn bottle.

Well. Cheers! Here's to Alex being a total horndog!

>pours a glass for himself

>> No.10916856

...Uh, Push reporting for duty?

>> No.10916860

mario and luigi finished eating their cheerios with pee and decided to go for a walk in the park. they hooked yoshi up to his leash and took turns raping him during the walk to the park. by the time they arrived at the park all three of them were tuckered out and decided to just shit in the shade of the big oak tree. it seemed like today was going to be another peaceful day. however no one seemed to notice the eyes peering at them from inside the nearby bushes.

>> No.10916861

Probably a good idea. Means I can sit down. And my hooves won't get sizzled.

>> No.10916863

Nope I have dibs on that shuttle.

>> No.10916866

mario heard a rustle in the bushes. "who's there" he called out but there was no answer. "i'm warning you. you better show yourself. i got a dick and i know how to use it" he threatened while thrusting and pointing at his dick. luigi and yoshi were now getting into position too, thrusting and pointing at their own dicks. "you got till the count of three to come out" said mario. "one" mario and luigi unzipped their overalls. "two" they pulled out their quivering dicks. "THREE"

>> No.10916867


>Puts drink down.

They're headed for the shuttle bay... I left the door unlocked...


>Storms off to shuttlebay yelling

>> No.10916870


Felt like a badass during and after.

>> No.10916876

We make 700 on a daily basis.

>> No.10916879


Think we should check it before getting in? There could be tyranids inside... or worse.

>> No.10916886

mario, luigi, and yoshi all leaped into the bushes, thrusting their dicks around. no one had any idea whether or not they were dicking the person in the bushes or just each other. there were many shouts and the occasional giggle. this went on for ten minutes before mario took charge and threw everyone out of the bushes. mario stepped out too and looked at the pile of sweat, semen, and shit covered bodies in front of him.

>> No.10916893


Damn straight.

>> No.10916898


Excuse me, Miss Chemrat.

Do you have an opening in your crew?

>> No.10916899

Narrator powers

>Just then, a 12 ton beam falls onto Grumpy Arbite.

>> No.10916910

No, you shitheads NEVER think. If you did, you'd circlejerk elsewhere.

>> No.10916913

No, it'll be fine. Also I can take pretty much anything, so no worries there. Also the sooner what needs to be said is said the better.

>> No.10916918

Well, um, if you wanted too, I could take you out some time, I guess. I know this awesome restaurant, has really good pasta. I mean, if you wanted...


>> No.10916925

Inordinate amounts of gifts, both soulless killing machines. It fits.

>moves out of the blow's arc
I could teach you some things, if you'd allow me.
...specifically how to stay moving in combat. It should be deadly with that thing you have there.
>once again daemon offering daemonhunter tips on killing daemons
Ah, Medic. A present for you.
>indicates box with 'FOR MEDIC' on it.

>> No.10916926

mario looked down at the man in front of him with a look of disgust on his face. "nevermind guys it's just that fat faggot wario" he said as luigi stood up and straightened his hat. "hey fuck you mario" said wario, wiping a bit of feces out of his mustache. "i'm not the one who goes around raping people." mario smirked as he watched the lump in wario's crotch start to grow larger.

>> No.10916928


>Opens shuttle door and holds it for her
Ladies first.

>> No.10916929


>> No.10916931



>> No.10916942

wario shifted his legs to try and hide the growing bulge but it was too late. luigi and yoshi had already noticed and were smirking as well. yoshi's wiener twitched. wario eyed it with apprehension, the bulge growing a little more rapidly now. wario was sweating, his heart beating rapidly. yoshi licked his lips. suddenly a gust of wind blew wario's hat off behind him. "aren't you going to bend over and pick it up wario" asked mario with an evil grin.

>> No.10916943

I heard we had some rowdy children, but I didn't quite expect this...

>> No.10916946

...I'm not normally one for formalities or ceremony, but, uh, thanks I guess.

>> No.10916948

>It fits.

I....I guess it does.

>> No.10916951


>Gets to shuttlebay. Sees them going into Arbite's shuttle.

>Pushes remote, his shuttle doors lock.


Not letting that happen again...

>walks back to others.

>> No.10916952

Hey guys and gals...sorry I'm late

What I miss?

>in real life went to go see Toy Story 3

>> No.10916961

wario turned around and bent over to pick up his hat. he gave his ass a little shake as he did so and yoshi couldn't hold back anymore. he ran forward and shoved his now fully erect peener straight into wario's ass, ripping a hole through his overalls and underwear. wario gasped and tried to resist at first. "don't fight it" said mario in a soothing voice "just relax and enjoy it. i have trained yoshi well" at this point a large group of toads had gathered to the scene.

>> No.10916963


artist, who is?

>> No.10916973

the toads closed in and formed a circle around the two fuckers. after any particularly deep thrusts by yoshi the toads would erupt with cheers. the toads started becoming aroused and began rubbing themselves. yoshi began thrusting harder and faster while wario had his 8-incher out and was stroking it. this pleased the toads who began throwing coins at the two in between stroking their own peeners. mario and luigi were quickly pocketing all the coins they could.

>> No.10916978

Whatever! Just take me out! Sandwiches! Hippie tofu! Anything! Before I go ballistic and kill something with my non-combat-morphed hands!

>> No.10916979

>Unbalanced by her own massive attack!
Argh! Alright! Teach me! Even if you're a daemon I can overlook that for you being a friend for so long!

I suppose being able to shear a Charnel Daemon in half with a single blow is only useful if I can -hit- it...

>> No.10916985

the toads dropped their pants and started jacking off furiously while wario groaned and screamed and jacked himself off as yoshi continued pounding his ass. wario had now ripped off all his clothes and his sweaty body glistened in the sun, his rolls of fat jiggling with every thrust. wario was red in the face and a small trickle of blood seeped from his anus but he paid no attention. the toads were shrieking in ecstasy as they rubbed their tiny wangs, watching the spectacle before them.

>> No.10916997


Sup bro.

>> No.10917000

a good thirty minutes of ass-fucking and off-jacking had already passed by now. mario gave the signal to yoshi (scratching his balls and sniffing his finger three times) telling him to wrap it up. yoshi got the signal and started pounding wario at a much faster rate. the toads and wario increased their jacking off speed as well. the toads yelled and shrieked as their wieners were starting to become raw and chafed but they couldn't stop. they knew in a few seconds it would all be over and there would be quite a mess.

>> No.10917017

at the exact same instant everyone ejaculated. yoshi let loose his semen in wario's ass and wario's testicles released their contents onto the ground as all the toads aimed their little wieners up into the air. strings of toad-semen streamed out of their wieners into an arc and collided in one spot in the air before raining down on yoshi and wario. this all happened in less than a second but to wario it seemed like one blissful eternity. he and yoshi laid sprawled out on the ground covered in sticky semen and panting, yoshi's now flaccid wiener still in wario's hairy ass.

>> No.10917021

Again, I'd recommend Berserker.

>> No.10917022

mario wiped little droplets of semen from his mustache as he surveyed the situation. luigi ran up to yoshi and pulled him out of wario's ass and began cleaning the semen off of him while a bottle of lotion was being passed around amongst the toads to soothe their chafed and aching cocks. the toads were chatting excitedly and mario smiled as he heard some of them saying that this was the best performance yet. "uh mario we got a problem here" luigi whispered. mario looked over and saw the naked wario twitching on the ground and making nonsensical noises.

>> No.10917027


Not much....you?

>> No.10917035

... crew?

'Aven' got a "crew" anymawer.

Wot d'ye want?

>> No.10917037

the toads gave one last cheer to mario and then dispersed. mario went over to wario and attempted to slap some sense into him. after a couple hard whacks across the face with mario's wang wario woke up. he pushed mario out of the way and ran straight to yoshi's cock. he began tugging on the cock and shouting "MORE MORE MUST HAVE MORE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG" but try as he might the dinosaur's cock could not be aroused. mario and luigi pulled wario away from yoshi. "RAAAAAHHHH ME WANT WANG ME WANT WANG RIGHT NOWWWWWW"

>> No.10917053

"snap out of it faggot" said mario but it didn't work. he was then struck with an idea. he had seen someone on tv throw water on another person to bring them to their senses. mario had no water but he had the next best thing: pee. "hey if it works as milk it'll work as water" thought mario remembering his bowl of cheerios earlier in the morning. he grabbed his dick and peed on wario's face. wario stopped screaming for wangs and started spitting as mario's stream entered his mouth. "yo wtf" said wario.

>> No.10917064

"stop going pee on me" said wario letting more urine go into his mouth although he made no effort to stop it. mario's stream had come to a stop and he flicked the last few drops onto wario's face. "can you remember anything that happened" asked mario. "yeah you dumbass any man would remember getting fucked up the ass by a yoshi while a bunch of toads jacked off in a circle" then suddenly the pain hit him "OH MY ASS OH GOD IT HURTS SO BAD OWWWWW OW OW OW" mario chuckled "yeah 30 minutes of ass-fucking will do that to ya"

>> No.10917068

He's a skeleton.

>> No.10917070

Okay! Now, when you make your first swing, make sure it's at an angle that you can easily reverse or translate into your next swing...
>Insert training montage here, involving Eviscerators, fire, medical attention, twelve onions, and a grox.

>> No.10917077

If you want a teacher, I could help. I'm currently an instructor at the schola. I'm not the absolute best combatant ever, but I've had my share of daemons in my face.

What do you need help with?

>> No.10917085

the koopas and goombas began arriving to the area. koopas and goombas feed on nothing but semen, urine, and fecal matter. there wasn't much fecal matter and only a little bit of urine but there was quite a bit of semen and the beasts were ready to take their fill. yoshi was flicking semen off of himself for some baby goombas while luigi playfully pissed on a group of koopa paratroopas. mario watched the feeding frenzy for a while before turning to wario. "you might want to get cleaned up wario" he said "they're going to sense the semen on you and start attacking." at this exact moment one of the goombas sniffed the air and caught a whiff of semen-drenched wario. "oh shi-"

>> No.10917095


>looks at the grox

can I have that when you're done with it? I'm hungry

>> No.10917096

> Also, suitably heroic training montage music. Perhaps something Wuxia-ish to accompany the inevitable scene where Nimue swings only to find Tarvus standing on the flat of her Eviscerator, tsking.

>> No.10917097

R-Realy?! Awesome!

>> No.10917100

the goomba chased after wario trying to get to the semen and feces mixture in his butt. "HELP ME" screamed wario but no one helped him. however this caught the attention of some other goombas and koopas who also joined the chase for wario's ass. "damn it go away you fuckers" wario said to them but they didn't listen. then he came up with an idea. he grabbed his wang and started rubbing it in an attempt to ejaculate and get them to go after the semen and not his ass. "good thing i'm a professional speed-jacker" thought wario. within two minutes he ejaculated on the ground and ran in the other direction. "WARIO NOOOOOOOOOO" screamed mario.

>> No.10917116


You know, dating her would be considered heresy right?

>> No.10917121

some of the more stupid goombas and koopas went for the semen but the rest stayed still. their tiny and feeble brains were trying to make sense out of what they just saw. the fat man just shot food out of the thing between his legs. it could be assumed that the man could shoot more food out for them. the goombas and koopas began chattering wildly, communicating their newfound knowledge of how to gain food. they charged at wario, their sights on his dangling wiener.

>> No.10917129

>Oh dammit, I missed the post, sorry for the delay.

My pleasure.
>Follows suit and at the ready in case anything is waiting for them inside

>> No.10917131

Girl, if you keep such high standards you ain't never going to find a man.

>> No.10917135

"mario what's wrong" luigi asked noticing the worried expression on mario's face. mario sighed. "i was afraid of this" he said "the koopas and goombas, although stupid, are capable of learning if what they are learning is not too complex. when wario jacked off just now to lure them away some of them were able to figure out that semen comes from penises" luigi gasped. meanwhile wario was trying to fend off the creatures. more of them had joined the group and were attempting to surround wario. "YO SOMEONE HELP ME" he screamed but no one helped him.

>> No.10917146

>only thing in shuttle is some weapons, food rations, and some wine.

>> No.10917150

wario was starting to get worried. the goombas and koopas are usually easy to handle but they can be quite troublsome in large numbers and wario had a good dozen of them coming in on him right now. the other koopas and goombas were now making their way over to wario as well. no one was coming to help him. "YEAH FUCK YOU GUYS" he screamed. the koopa paratroopas were the first to reach him. they dive-bombed on him going straight for the peener. wario just barely managed to dodge them as they crashed into the ground. pools of blood formed underneath them as they lay on the ground twitching.

>> No.10917153

>No, that was the grox. I was riding it at the time

>> No.10917156

Quit stalling and kiss the girl already, Alex.

>> No.10917158

wario had one hand over his cock to protect it and was punching away goombas with the other. however he was soon overpowered. he had goombas and koopas on all sides of him and paragoombas and koopa paratroopas coming in on him from the air. koopas were clawing at his cock and goombas were trying to force their way up his ass to get to the feces. all this stimulation was beginning to turn wario on. a microgoomba had entered his ass and was crawling around.

>> No.10917160

>I think I know what we need...

>> No.10917163


Well this is eerily appropriate.

>> No.10917166


>Blue bird mode, go
>brb ohboyherewego

>> No.10917167

the microgoomba in wario's ass had made contact with his prostate and wario's dick went from flaccid to erect in .6 seconds. this sudden size increase scared the koopas and goombas and they all jumped back staring intently at the dick. wario took this opportunity to attack. he spun around in a circle hitting them with his dick and knocking them away. he was about to start punching them when suddenly the microgoomba hit his prostate again and he dropped to his knees and started furiously masturbating.

>> No.10917178

mario turned to luigi and yoshi. "this is what we gotta do" he said "these goombas and koopas are the only ones that know about the source of the semen. we have to make sure that they do not leave and inform any others. we have to kill these ones or else they could rise up against us" he pulled out two fire flowers and handed one to luigi. they both then shoved the flowers up their asses to activate the power. then all three of them charged forward to where the goombas and koopas were once again advancing on the masturbating wario.

>> No.10917180

Shut up. Cyril, I need a portal out of here! This guy here is taking me somewhere!


>> No.10917196

May I at least offer my services as an eviscerator specialist? I know a few tricks to keep it from eating your face off. They tend to get too excited after chewing a few heretics.

>> No.10917199


One could say someone is stalking us ( >>10917146 )

Right... so about last night then...

>> No.10917203

Just for clarification: I only enhance your thread because it's irredeemable, insufferable shit. Delete it, go away, roleplay elsewhere (where it isn't trollplay) and I'll stop making it better.

>> No.10917206

>Goes back to drinking with Chemrat.
>Picks up the glass he left.

Where was I? Oh yes.
>Pulls up mask slightly.

>> No.10917207

I could probably make one, but I haven't done two people at once before.

>> No.10917209


Have fun now! And try not to stay out too late with him...it's his first day!


>> No.10917211

rolled 8, 5, 6, 10 + 16 = 45



>manifests from bird form
>Fucking Portals, how do they work

>> No.10917215

mario gave hand signals to luigi and yoshi to split up. luigi went to the left as yoshi went to the left and mario kept going forward towards wario. a koopa paratroopa was in a dive bomb straight for wario. mario threw a fireball at it just before it hit mario. the paratroopa burst into flames and fell to the ground in front of wario who promptly splooged on it. a group of six hungry goombas swarmed in and gobbled up the semen and the paratroopa. wario's wiener went limp but immediately became hard again as the microgoomba in his ass continued stimulating his prostate.

>> No.10917218


Ooh, what's inside?

>> No.10917235

No. You'll just go to bed when your mother says it's lights out time, anyways.

>> No.10917237

"damn it wario will you stop jacking off" said mario as he threw fireball after fireball to guard wario. "i can't help it" panted wario "there's something crawlin around in my ass and it feels sooooooo goooooood" he moaned and a smile crossed his face. meanwhile yoshi was eating up goombas, laying eggs, and passing them over to luigi who caught them and threw them at the paratroopas with one hand while fending off ground koopas by throwing fireballs with his other hand.

>> No.10917238

Hah. Some daemonette YOU are.

>> No.10917244

five minutes later the park was covered in smoke and the smell of semen and burning bodies and anal sex was ripe in the air. all of the koopas and goombas had been killed by now except for one: the microgoomba in wario's ass. wario was rolling around on the ground jacking off as the little critter moved around in his ass. mario although angry couldn't help but admire wario's endurance. he had been through a half hour of butt-fucking by yoshi, orgasmed three times within the last hour, and yet he was still masturbating.

>> No.10917245

You can make portals?

>> No.10917246

>Pauses from the MONTAGE briefly to peer over.

Oh, do tell! Aid from one more experienced is never something I'd refuse!

>> No.10917257

"WARIO QUIT SPANKING YOUR MONKEY" mario screamed. "no" said wario. mario produced a fireball in his hand and held it close to wario's wang. "ok ok i'll stop" he said as his wang became flaccid. mario looked down at wario's wang and shuddered. "wario look at your wang man it's all red and dried out. there is a limit to how many times a man should jack off in one sitting and you have passed that limit." wario winced as the euphoria of the anal stimulation was wearing off. his wang, his poor wang was aching. his balls were aching too from the stress of outputting so much semen. but somehow it all seemed worth it.

>> No.10917267

>Implying it's in any way problematic to us

Yes. Last night. Like I said, it seemed like you were about to say something.

>> No.10917270

"alright now we have to get the last goomba out of your ass" said mario "bend over and i'll pull it out" wario pushed him away. "you're not sticking your hand up my ass you might shoot a fireball" he said while covering his asshole. he squatted down over the ground and grunted. he strained and groaned and screamed in pain. "you need to eat more fiber" said luigi as he and yoshi walked up and watched wario trying to shit out the microgoomba.

>> No.10917277


As long as I'm not the target...go right ahead!

>> No.10917291

I commissioned a weapon specially for you.



>> No.10917297



>Opens the box.

>> No.10917301

Your thread, dear piece of shit, is a problem to /tg/. Reporting does nothing, I'm afraid, and reason doesn't work with completely brainless creatures like you. My only chance is to fill it to the brim with better stuff than your shit. Since EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD is better than your circlejerk, I use the mario shitfic.

>> No.10917311

luigi walked around behind wario. "i can see it!!!" he exclaimed. mario and yoshi ran over to join him. sure enough the little goomba's head was sticking out of wario's asshole. wario drew in a breath and gave a hearty push. with a loud fart the goomba fell out of his ass along with a sizable chunk of poop and some semen. mario picked up the microgoomba and examined it. "it appears to have suffocated inside wario's ass" he said, engulfing it in flames to make sure it was really dead. he turned to wario who was still shitting on the ground.

>> No.10917313


>Scratches the back of his head, looking at his feet
I... think.. I might be... eh... falling for you...
>Looks up
That's... what I said last night...

>> No.10917324

Be VERY careful when you say that, Miss Nimue.

>> No.10917363

And, if you'd not guessed by the plying with gifts and favours, the feelings kinda mutual. But...you're not worried about Varity getting involved? I mean, after what happened with Narl and all?

>> No.10917369


So Chemrat how've ya been? Universe treating ya ok? Walked into the maw of hell lately?

>Pours himself another glass of Amasec.

>> No.10917375


>Boot to face

>> No.10917388

>Your opinion
>Our opinion

Don't you have another monstergirl thread to make?

Pfftt. Call it a trial by fire. Ehehehe.

>> No.10917395

rolled 1, 8, 1, 5 + 16 = 31


>pic related

>> No.10917397

>This is propped up inside the box.

>> No.10917400

Well lets see.

The most important thing to remember when using an eviscerator is that it could always slip. I don't care how strong you are. It's not meant as an elegant weapon. It's raw killing force. It's all weight distribution. No amount of muscle will fix that. Thinking it will is the first step to you getting cut in half by an overly vigorous swing.

Something that big and unruly? You learn to fight around it as much as you do with it. Perhaps more around it than with it.

And most importantly.. learn to duck.

>takes out the absurdly long ruler on her back

>> No.10917417

Universe's shite. ::uses claw t' uncork bottle, an' slips a tube in t' th' neck before 'ookin' it up t' 'er mask::

Feckin' shite... ::begins t' drain it::

>> No.10917422


I've heard of your exploits. I want to work with you. I'm good at taking orders, and I have no fear of death.

>> No.10917430

rolled 54 = 54

Okay, I'm with you so far.
>Duck attempt! Dodge versus Ag 35!

>> No.10917432


You asked me the same question a week ago and I said that if that were to pass, I would not get... "captured"... I remain firm in my statement...

I guess if you are really worried about that... we could find a way of making sure Varity does not hear about this?

>> No.10917447


...Tarvus. What does this thing do?

>Stat me, baby.

>> No.10917450

Piss off.

>> No.10917451

rolled 10 = 10

> Gets thwacked.

Agf! Okay. So it's a combination of like, leverage as well as the gyroscopic forces already induced by the weapon's operation?
Gonna have to practice with it live then.. Or at least a bladeless motorized one.

>> No.10917469

That's probably a good idea. I mean you KNOW she'll just storm in and ruin everything, they way she does. But, I mean...I dunno how this is going to work. We won't see a hell of a lot of one another, considering I have to regularly return to...space hell.

>> No.10917484

Now why do you have to go and be like that. I'm merely inquiring if I can work with you. I'm not a bad guy.

>> No.10917487


>perched outside window, peeking in, without drawing attention to himself

>> No.10917496

Mister Narrator suggests finding tome of Russ.
Other wise, Narrator will continue to think up some plan.

>> No.10917505


Yeah... I hear that. You know everything seems to have gone awry after that one mind wipe at the Temple Vindicare. I started... to remember stuff. I started growing a personality. I don't know, I think maybe things would be better if I was still a mindless killing machine. At least then people wouldn't have sex in my damned shuttle.

>> No.10917510

Ye said ye were good at takin' orders, right?

Well there's yer first one...

Piss. Off.

>> No.10917520

Narrator powers

>All of a sudden, a cat appears out of nowhere.

>> No.10917526

So, um, you ready to go? I've got a ship here we can take?

>Points towards small ship

>> No.10917528

>Mine's locked. Scroll up. Also it has an alarm.

>> No.10917529

>Tom not tome

>> No.10917534


That's the best way to do it!

>> No.10917537

Not until I get confirmation that I get to work with you, because until then, I take orders from no-one. If you were to say "You're hired, now piss off." I'd do so willingly.

>> No.10917542


And I have to work for the Inquisition, I'm sure they'll want to recover their... investment in my faith... but we could always try and... make the best of the times we do meet.

>> No.10917551



>> No.10917558

Simple thing: Fuck off. The threads are reported by other people as the spam they are. Time to step up the game, mail moot and report them via IRC until you're banned.

>> No.10917560

Yes. Good idea.

Starting immediately.

>> No.10917563


Push you shouldn't... Push it. Not with Chemrat and certainly not while she's drunk. Also run. Like. Now.

>> No.10917568

Ye 'ave sumfin' t' prove? Gimme one good reason t' bovver wiv ye. An' save yer "I ain' afraid o' death" junk.

>> No.10917573

>Good-quality greatsword, 2d10+1+str bonus from the looks of things.

>> No.10917585

Learn to duck. Swing that thing enough and it'll kill something. Don't want it to be you do you? Keep in mind you can't bring that thing around to parry quick. You'll have to be nimble to avoid your opponent sticking you in the gut.

First agility training exercise then.

>Summons Schola Child Swarm

Kids.. today we do training exercises. Get the heretic. Today's heretic is..

>Child Rush!

>> No.10917586

Funny. People like you said that about Quest Threads. And guess what? They're still here.

>> No.10917595

Why is Russ Tom?

>> No.10917602


>Full attention!!!!!!!!

>> No.10917638

God dammit, need to look at what I type. Should not play game at same time.

Russ OR Tom.

>> No.10917639

.. Oh dear god Emperor

>> No.10917642

Let's see...something worth proving...Well, I come from that guy's home planet.

>points to Hunter.

He tends to come back from the dead when he's shot, stabbed, maimed, brutally murdered, and even ripped into tiny pieces. Being from the same sector as him, I was exposed to the same radiation, giving me similar traits. I don't stay dead long, and if my body's completely obliterated, I'll be back in a few minutes.

How's that for something useful?

>> No.10917669

Let's test 'at, shall we?

::cocks back 'ammer on revolver, an' shoots ye in th' face::

>> No.10917672

>Can't believe his eyes
Wow... I mean wow... suddenly the image of a full frontal assault comes to mind...

>> No.10917675

Verifiable 2 year topic related tradition cockmuncher.
We have already sent him the messages of our own.

>> No.10917682

...Can I kill them?
At least set them on fire, just a little bit?

>> No.10917692

That's the spirit. Now stop wasting time.

>On which note, fade to black/whatever, I'm going to go crawl into bed

>> No.10917699


You....you lie!

>pic related

>> No.10917704

Sorry! Zoned out for a minute there.

Nonsense! Why drive when you can fly?

>Drags John through Cyril's hopefully stable portal. OH BOY WHERE DOES IT LEAD

>> No.10917707

rolled 63 = 63

>surprise attack from cat.
>WS 45 +30 from surprise.

>> No.10917728

>Guesses he should take his armour off, lolwards
>Good night and fade to black then

And that's my contribution to this thread for the day, I'll stay and the other shenanigans.

>> No.10917743



>> No.10917746

Oh god, I can see forever!

>> No.10917759


>doesn't flinch as the gun goes off, the bullet entering just above his eyebrow and blowing part of the back of his head off. The body slumps over and blood drips onto the table, and after a moment, stops dripping altogether. He sits back up, a hole clear through his skull as he blinks. Within a few moments, the hole is gone, all that's left of his inner bodily fluids being on the table. He groans, rubbing his head.

Didn't have to aim for the head, y'know. Fuck, that stings like a son-of-a-bitch.

>> No.10917779

... lovely. Like I ain' surroun'ed by enuff immor'als already.


Fine. Ye're 'ired. Now piss off.

>> No.10917793


(I'm off to bed. Egads, the sun is up.)

>> No.10917804

>see you tommarow

>> No.10917808


Well there's that problem solved... I still think we should make them Evesors, do they listen? No...

Ah well.
>Takes another drink of Amasec

>> No.10917812

rolled 1 = 1



>> No.10917814

Yes Ma'am.


>> No.10917819


>Pic related

>> No.10917830

Run faster! FASTER! Schola kids like to pull hair!

Don't worry, once you master this, we'll chain lead balls to your feet and do it again.

Hurt a single hair on their head and I purge you at the speed of light.

Shouldn't you be helping us train rather than trying to eat children? The poor girl looks like she could use some tips right about now.

>> No.10917833


I don't know whether or not to cry in happiness, laugh in sorrow, or try to kill you myself in anger

>tries to stab Push again

>> No.10917866

> Is NOT terribly fast! Is probably buried in children, but her colossal Unnatural strength means they can't actually take her down. She stumbles back to the Scholateacher with ALL of them children clinging to her.
Uh. Let's reset and start again until I make it?

>> No.10917867

Why don't we drink until you come to a conclusion?

>> No.10917869

>Looks over from bar.

I could teach that woman to dodge 10 train crashes. Back to back. Apparently I'm just not good enough to train anyone. Go figure, not my fault no one wants to learn the ways of the Vindicare Temple.

>More drinking Amasec
>Glass empty

>> No.10917888

Oh, right. Sorry. Temporary cortical failure.


>> No.10917896

Wouldn't the Temple have something to say about you training outsiders?

>> No.10917924

>Cat rolled 63, needed 75 or below.

>> No.10917970


>> No.10917995

Alright, alright. Geez. Switch to decaf.

>> No.10918006

rolled 28 = 28


(Woops AG to dodge, gotta beleet my other posts)

>vs 40

>> No.10918007

What daemons and heretics? I see no daemons or heretics. Just some.. people in funny outfits. And since I'm not with the Inquisition anymore, how am I supposed to be a reliable judge of heresy?

>> No.10918013


>mulls over this

I don't like you...for now...you probably don't like me for the same reasons....a truce is agreeable for now....

>takes out his canteen

>> No.10918021


Oh because your affiliates know about your dealings with daemons and heretics? If so you'd be burning at the stake as we speak. Ditto for half the people here.

>> No.10918056


Well then I guess I can't teach if I don't exist. Since I'm a faceless assassin and all I don't really have to worry about being "found out." Its not like I run around showing my face or using my ID code. So no harm done.

>> No.10918061

I see no reason not to like you, aside from you stabbing me. We're from the same planet. How'd you get off?

>> No.10918062

..Hm. I suppose I'll only use half the children then.

>Mass "aaaaaw, but why?" from the kids.
>Sudden silence when she reaches back for the ruler

The ones with the best grades can stay. The rest of you hit the books. Except you, Jaine. You could use more running around than you could book work.

Very good very good

I'll give you a head start this time. I'm Lucky by the way..

>> No.10918073

>Battle is interrupted by shuttle rocking back and forth.
>If I have to point out why, isn't it past your bedtime?

>> No.10918098

rolled 54, 68, 77, 63 = 262


>dodge successful!
>Lightning attack! herewegoagain

>> No.10918106


>derped, missed all attacks

>> No.10918138

I appreciate your offer, but your ways are perhaps too advance for such a student. May I call you later when I feel she's picked up some basics?

I do get paid to teach anyway. I might as well bring her up to snuff.

>> No.10918142

What makes you think the Temple don't know where you are or what you do? Next you'll be telling me that mask doesn't have a "Record" function.

>> No.10918156

Nimue Nemouthes, one of Varity's Adepts, nice to meet ya.

And uh. Right. Running now!
>montage resumes!

>> No.10918158

>If that shuttle's a rocking...
>Hang on this needs more music:

>> No.10918193

>salutes with boffersword, before noticing and packing it away somewhere.

Use your hueg leg muscles! USE THEM!

>> No.10918194



>> No.10918214

>opened link
>hear music
>pic related

>> No.10918223


So you think I'm here on recon? Pfff. Explain where there isn't an exterminatus warhead barreling towards this ship right now then. Also you assume the mask can transmit a wireless signal through the warp interference and thick bulkheads here to Emperor knows where to be monitored?

The masks recording devices are all independent and under my control unless I turn them on or off. They don't transmit wireless either, or I'd be watching imperial girls gone wild from a deep space beacon as we speak. I'd need a damn good transmitter array for that. You see a backpack on me?

>> No.10918248

>Cat stands next to bird. Stares into shuttle through same window.

>> No.10918258


Was whisked away to serve as a mercenary under Slaanesh....so far haven't been used yet....you?

>> No.10918282

>measures out a five foot circle with her ruler while the montage continues. puts a stake in the center with a chain coming off it.

Not yet.. not yet.. but soon.

Nimue. Do tell me when you feel ready to dodge an entire class while chained to the floor.

>> No.10918284

>I lol'd

>Who are you anyway?

>> No.10918288

I don't think you're here on recon, I think you're here independently. I also think the Temple know more than they tell you. And I'm pretty sure you don't know ALL the functions of that mask. They probably download all the hidden data whenever you return to a Temple.

>> No.10918308

> Time passes, Nimue has a headband and is 2d for some reason


>> No.10918328

Hopped on a ship and just drifted for a while.

>Drinks from the container.

Sounds like you got the shit end of the stick.

>> No.10918329


I haven't been back to the Temple since I've run into you guys. At least they haven't taken me there. I receive my orders via transmission, once by mail, once by a carved message on the side of a Grox. I've also begun to learn a lot about the masks functions thanks to my Tech Magos friend who like to dabble here and there in things I don't tell people he dabbles in.

>> No.10918349

> A cat I would guess...

>> No.10918363


Didn't we all? 16 years ago when the world burned?

>> No.10918367

Just some guy bored out of his mind. Decided to take a break here. Can't help in some threads and others just get too stupid.

>> No.10918378

Well, you may be okay, as long as they don't start wondering where you get to. And don't think a Tech-Magos won't keep his own secrets. They've only been doing it for millenia.

>> No.10918409

Yeah, I played as the cat. So what, want to fight about it!

>> No.10918437

>is also 2D, but is wearing a top-hat and has a monocle for some reason.

>> No.10918450


Yeah except I've recorded all his secrets, if what you say is true. Then its in both our interests to keep the helmet's "dirty secrets" safe.

He and I have an arrangement as it were. I buy tech from him at low prices, for Tech Priest standards anyway. In return I "take care" of his clients who drop by and ask a few too many of the wrong questions. So far the tech's been good and we seem to have a good deal going.

>> No.10918464

Nah, a few people got lucky. It was mostly those of us that were soldiers and workers that got shafted. The few of the richest got out alive and unmutated.

>> No.10918465


>drawing smut, brace for drawfaggotry
>time might be anywhere from 10 mins to 15

>> No.10918514

>I like how the Sister of Battle takes the initiative.

>> No.10918526

It's the AdMech who MAKE and MAINTAIN those masks for the Temple. Wouldn't surprise me if HE knew about any hidden recording functions. But hey, it's your life. And soul.

>Servo-skull flies up to see what cat and bird are so interested in. Offers popcorn.

>> No.10918573


Oh yeah. Because the jaded assassin is fearful of death. Wooo. I'll try to be excited. Excuse me.

>Pours another glass of Amasec

>> No.10918586

>puts top-hat on servoskull when nobody's looking

>> No.10918593

Silly Girl.. you forgot..

We were only using half the class..


>> No.10918613


Yeah...the bastards

>motions for the canteen


Damn son!

>> No.10918616

>Cue dramatic music...
Emperor preserve me.

>> No.10918631

>Benny Hill theme?

>> No.10918657


Heh. One thing I did figure out about the helmet is the projector function...

>image appears on wall

>> No.10918672


>gonna try a different angle, wasn't pleased with this one

>> No.10918690

>Thought she had horns...

>> No.10918702

(yeah I know, gave up on that one)

>> No.10918710


>> No.10918728



>> No.10918741

Eh. I'm just looking for work now. Thank Omnissiah I can find it.

>> No.10918744

> Metal Gear Solid alert noise

>> No.10918756


I am pleased by this

>> No.10918769

>Weeeeee- SPLUTNCH

..That didn't sound encouraging. You okay under there?

>> No.10918798

What're you two looking a-
>looks through window

>> No.10918816

> Stands up, kids hanging off her.
Yes. I think Robertus Ghoulimon scraped his knee, though.

>> No.10918824

Dat bird face

>> No.10918856


>Wandering out into hallway.
>Sees Tarvus from hallway connecting into shuttlebay
>Seems to be watching something.
>Walks over to investigate

>> No.10918873

>Is this Pay-Per-View or something?

>> No.10918896


>apparently, incoming better picture (I hope)

>> No.10918914

Too late for tickets!

>> No.10918954

> Peers out.
What's everyone looking at over there?

>> No.10918956

>I see what you did there.

>Walks next to Tarvus
What's go-

>Hears noises.
>Looks in through window.
>His face:

>> No.10918965

>Shuttle computer begins automatic shutdown and begins to bring down armor covering over the windows.

>> No.10918974


The fuck is everyone staring at?

They're just fucking, give them some privacy!

>Covers the windows with sheets.

Perverts, all of you.

>> No.10918983

So much for keeping this a secret.

>> No.10918985

>Pffff. Automatic nothing the thing was off to begin with.

>> No.10918999

>As long as they don't tell Varity...

>> No.10919003

>Don't make the Narrator drop a 12 ton pile of PAIN on your ass.

>> No.10919004

Oh, there you are. How's that sword?

>> No.10919012


>If what captain skull says is true then this just got LOGGED.

>> No.10919019

That ship hath sailed!

>> No.10919028

Someone fix that! Hurry!

>> No.10919034

...Can you breath under all those children?

>> No.10919036

>Hey don't over step your bounds there buddy. Fair play. Not "rocks fall part dies"

>> No.10919038

Hey! I thought I had dibs on that thing!

*walks up glimpses window does a double-take*>>10918896

>> No.10919042


So...did you take a picture of whatever happened?

>> No.10919050

>You know what I mean...

>> No.10919053


Haven't tested it. I'm rather surprised that it's not possessed, but it's a very fine blade.

>> No.10919063


>> No.10919067


Totally did.

>> No.10919070

>Simultaneous and devastating [...] deep strikes

>> No.10919072

Fine, here.

>Computer begins to upload inside security footage to large monitor in hanger bay.

>> No.10919095

>Oh shit?

>> No.10919096

Well, uh, about that.

>> No.10919106

SWEET JESUS! I mean, sweet Emperor!

>> No.10919117

> Nods, hobbles over.

... Restart? I need to pump my agility. And then weapon skill.

So I can deck Alex in the mouth.

>> No.10919121

>still watching

>I cant draw today, ugh

>> No.10919144

This is good stuff.

>> No.10919149

>Errr I just meant the 12tons of pain thing... But far be it for me to look a deus-ex in the face.
>Looks at projection.

Omnissiah be praised

Oh someone in the hanger is pumping Nimue, and it ain't you...

>> No.10919183

>So I can deck Alex in the mouth.

Ohhhhh I sense so much drama. This is gonna be funny. Hell if the Temple Vindicare really is monitoring this they're gonna have a good laugh.

>> No.10919184


>Is now apparently On Screen
>All to see

>> No.10919191

>100+ Str... Oh shit.


>> No.10919215


>Walks over to Nimue

So uh....would you like to hang out and drink with Push and I for a while?

>> No.10919217

*Whispers to vindy*

Here's hoping that's a euphemism. or atl east tat she doesn't do it in the shuttle I mean it's hard enough to clean it out after this.

>> No.10919238

> Is covered in children

... Not now, I don't want to corrupt their impressionable minds.

>> No.10919277


Oh wow. Part of my hopes Temple Vindicare is watching this... Then again part of me doesn't want to get re-washed again.

>> No.10919279


>Grabs two of the kids off of Nimue and fireman carries them

Tell you what...I help you with these kids...and then we go have a drink...sounds good yes?

>> No.10919290

*high gothic*

Here's hoping they can't see that screen...

>> No.10919293

rolled 31 = 31

It might be a teensy bit possessed, but hey, it's a really, really good sword.
>Opposed WP, vs 45!

>> No.10919312


Whoops. Too late for that...
How is baby formed? I think they know...

>> No.10919321

>Myface when Looking back, and seeing the whole ordeal on screen
Well... Isn't it grand when things just go well

>> No.10919330


>moves in front of screen

Not to mention what you are currently watching might not help you in the prevention of corrupting their minds

>> No.10919331

rolled 1 = 1


You sure?

>> No.10919335

Looks like they skipped the touchy feely part

>> No.10919368


>Holyshit. I got lucky.

>> No.10919380

Fuck you. Don't noko roll a 1d1, you fag. Do it properly.

>> No.10919385


Oh Alex, what a retarded web we weave. Part of me almost feels sorry for him. Warp hath no fury like a woman scorned. I should know, I've seen hell.

>> No.10919410

Guys, I think we should turn the screen off before Termie or Varity get's here.
Besides, if it's footage from the security camera then I am certain that it is being recorded.

>> No.10919415

rolled 92 = 92


>Noko rolls never show.

>> No.10919432

>No shit! Also, it's 2d10+5 Tearing, and Screaming (you gain Fear 1 when using it)
And there's a little matter of paperwork and duties and stuff we have to work out, as well.

>> No.10919434

>Resumes training montage. How many stat increases / rank increases?! WHO KNOWS.

>> No.10919451


They're parents might have a talk with us....a very loooong talk

>> No.10919462


>I've got Fear 2 already. Does that mean I go up, or does it have no effect?

I don't really mind paperwork.

>> No.10919467

>Is totally using hyberbolic time chamber.

>> No.10919474

So, who is going to clean up the shuttle after they finish?

>> No.10919477

Let's just take a break. I think the kids are done for the day anyway. Can't drive them too hard, and too much training in one day can be bad for you too..

>> No.10919485

>Somewhere, Tzeentch is trollfacing

>> No.10919501


For that matter how does one "summon" kids? Where did that person get them from? Kidnapping?

>> No.10919509

>Didn't Tzeentch and Cyril want Alex to stick with Nimue?

>> No.10919512

>You know it.

>> No.10919533


Uh....uhhhh...A psyker did it?

>> No.10919534


>Actually, No, Cyril wanted him to be tainted

>> No.10919559

>daemon vagina
>Sounds about right


>Did you remember to roll for WARP IMPOTENCE?

>> No.10919566

Alright. I'll continue with Tarvus, then head back with more with Varity later as per the usual.

>> No.10919584

>I'm not a psyker, so no.
>Wonder if condoms count.

>I still don't get why ANYONE would like Alex on their side.

>> No.10919596


Ah, Miss ... Navigator...

Im sure you would be very interested in that news over there.

>> No.10919613


You sure you don;t want to drink right now? I mean I can brew some tea if you want....

Or if you need a sparing partner/steam outlet....

>> No.10919615


>It has nothing to do with that :D

>> No.10919632

>Looks like she is about to be tainted in a few minutes

>> No.10919634

>Flops out of the room he's claimed for himself.
Uhg... need recaf.
>Shakes head
So. Those damn Nid's stole my clothing, and this blanket only covers my shame so much. Who wants to help me get revenge?

>> No.10919635


>Because apparently he gets all the bitches?
>Geez where is DOOMRIDER when you need him to crack a joke... Do they even make condoms in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium?


>> No.10919673


>Starts brewing some tea

Would tea do Inquisitor?
Aaaand I might help you out later

>> No.10919685

*After kids file out*

Lucky none of them saw the unfettered daemon.

>> No.10919715

>All the bitches
>My face but seriously, that is hilariously wrong

>Corruption for corruption's sake?
>Why not try Termie or Var, they are bigger fish.

>Good one.

>> No.10919738


I am Lucky, a humble cleric. Recently I was asked to teach at the schola and generally watch out for the well being of the children.

I believe I've said this before. Do pay attention.

>> No.10919748

>Opens his shuttle's door.

Well I'd love to watch big bird break the news here but I've gotta run. Tell Alex he's so totally fucked! Weeeeeee...!
Naw I won't do that. Well have a nice night of... Hot daemon voyeurism. Don't get tainted now.

>Takes off in shuttle.

>> No.10919763

And who gets more than you?

Not counting the emperor's orgies.

>> No.10919771


Hey Lucky, I'll make a bet for one of the kids. One hand of cards, if you win, I can promise no harm will ever come to them. If I win, I get one of them.

>> No.10919800



No....we all know what you;d do

>> No.10919804

>Everyone else save Varity

>> No.10919835

>takes the five foot long rule from her back

How about I propose another bet?

>Activates power field

>> No.10919865

... You think I WANT to be kidnapped by the Sirens? I'd bloody punch every single one of them in the face until they stop twitching.
Tea would be great. Thanks

>> No.10919867

Oh. I know.

I hope Alex doesn't mind dental bills.

>> No.10919872


Oh, and what bet would that be, beautiful?
C'mon, I may be one of the damned, but I'm not a bad guy. At worst, I'd probably put a mark on the kid in some spot. At best...well, I'd leave the kid with you, with nothing the matter. I just want to gamble a bit.

>> No.10919881


No time for gambling, Medic. You have work to do!
>hands dataslate, walks off back into montage

>> No.10919885

Go back to waiting on your sanctioned gal, instead of making a bet you can't hold your end of up.

>> No.10919886


Careful it's a little on the hot side
>hands a cup over

Also...Nimue...my offer still stands

>> No.10919903


>You never told me if Fear 2 and Fear 1 Stacked!
>Also I have From Beyond.

>> No.10919922

Maybe this was the price he pays for your freedom...?

*Clearly just bullshitting to cover for a bro.*

>> No.10919925

>They don't stack. Also, dataslate. You gonna read that?

>> No.10919954


Man Arbite, she doesn't want anything to do with me.

>Looks over the dataslate.

What the hell am I reading, Tarvus? Should I just sign for this sword?

>> No.10919966

Thanks. This is black, right? I could use the caffeine right now

>> No.10919980

He's fucking a daemon you daft monkey.

>> No.10919986


Ah, Wonderful news then.

Just as planned.

>> No.10920012

>Dataslate hums to life.
>Dear Reader, you have been assigned a task from a randomly generated pool of chaotic deeds. Your task is...
>#422 Kill Alicia Varity.
>Have a nice day!

>> No.10920015

You mean the daemon that enabled their mission to rescue you?

Maybe he owes her this?

>> No.10920032

...You aren't a bright one, are you?

If you're looking to be smote with the holy power of the Emperor, I don't pick on the dumb and helpless.

>> No.10920038

> Facepalms.

A'ight.. Fine. I won't tell Varity. But I'm still punching him.

>> No.10920075

>Servo-skull flies down to face level.
Miss Nimue? I couldn't help noticing.... Didn't your eyes used to be blue?

>> No.10920082

Random my ass!

You are just trying to cash in his contract early!

Well be careful or she may drill through his soul with a psycannon round you titty lobster!

Daemonettes and cashing in contracts early does not work.

See what happened to the old models when GW tried to cheat a subcontractor

>> No.10920109

Well, want to use my Powerfist? I'm surprised those Genestealers didn't keep it like the rest of my stuff.

>> No.10920111

Uh.. Well, that wasn't their original colour. T'was the green they are now.

>> No.10920114

rolled 17 = 17




>Rolling Tech-use to hack the dataslate to randomly generate another, easier task.
>Required to pass: 38

>> No.10920117


>luckily had his helmets visor/mask down
Sorry, bout that...and yes it is black....


Operation Jealousy?

>> No.10920149

Bah I say the boy seems enough for the both of you.

Reminds me of an old partner... Poor guy had everything goin for him too damn tau-sympathizers...

>> No.10920176

rolled 12 = 12

>The dataslate glitches and lags out, before booting.
>Some obviously daemonic text runs along the screen before a square that's been cut into four smaller squares appears, then the generator screen again.
>Dataslate rolling new task! 1 is bad, 100 is good.

>> No.10920183


>walks over to Nimue and hands her one of his canteens

There's a fair amount left in here if you wish to have it

>walks away and pours another cup of tea slightly cooler for the Inquisitor

>> No.10920195

Oh. Okay. Well, the green works better with the tan. The blue would just be washed out.

>> No.10920216


>Shouldn't 1 be good, 100 be bad?

>> No.10920224

>Lags mightily, before Low Gothic text starts scrolling across the screen.
>Dear Reader, you have been assigned a task from a randomly generated pool of chaotic deeds. Your task is...
>Dataslate gets taken.

...Medic, what are you doing?

>> No.10920230

> Takes it, nods, glowers. Sits in one corner, sipping at the canteen and toying with the Eviscerator.

>> No.10920251

>It was the dataslate's opposed roll.
>Don't knock the machine spirit.

>> No.10920264


>> No.10920289

>When did I become a swarmlord?

>> No.10920294


Increasing my chances for survival by rerouting the pathways in which the electric flow may go. Why?

Isn't that what a daemon is supposed to do? Survive and make sure that they're the ones on top? I'm just prolonging my chances for survival.

>> No.10920300

When you started doing drugs.

>> No.10920326


>Not knockin' the spirit, just wonderin...just wonderin...

>> No.10920333


He kinda has a point. The cultists are the throw aways. Everyone else just looks out for themselves.

>> No.10920341


>walks over carrying the Inquisitors new cup of tea, despite the Inquisitor being in the opposite direction

If you need anything, feel free to ask....I'll come back again once I hand this over to Nailo....and hope I don't get sprayed again

>walks towards the Inquisitor

>> No.10920346

Was about to ask that myself I mean it would take some kind of insectoid tactical geniou.....SWAAAARRMLOOOOORD!!!!!!

>> No.10920353


(hes an interrogator by the way)

>> No.10920377

>Obviously the Swarmlord is Alex in a clever disguise

>> No.10920385

Well aren't we a cheerful lot?
>Fetches foodstuffs

>> No.10920386

S' Nimue, what'd Alex do anyway?
Everyone seems to be in a uproar about something.

>> No.10920395


>woops uhh...replace Inquisitor with Interregator....

>> No.10920419

>Isn't that what a daemon is supposed to do? Survive and make sure that they're the ones on top? I'm just prolonging my chances for survival
Daemons, perhaps. But, see, you're a mortal.
A mortal that has entered into a daemonic pact-mine, actually.
You do not fuck with daemonic pacts, especially not mine. Doubly especially because this is my first and only pact.
I find you in breach of your pact.

>> No.10920425

Fucked Khornette.
>Swig at canteen, rests eviscerator across her lap.

>> No.10920428


>pointing at the live feed

>> No.10920459


True, but still. Throwing away your first demonic pact on a suicide mission is not only insane, but highly counterproductive. I entered the pact to not only serve Slaanesh, but to serve whoever the creator of the pact is. I have done nothing but adhere to the pact, and if you want me to throw my life away, at least give me a chance at survival.

>> No.10920462


>comes back

Has anyone seen the Interroga- Oh.....Sorry about the tea being too hot....try this one

>hands Nailo a new cup of tea

>> No.10920506

W...what? Ok, now I know for a fact that's what people get executed for.
We need to take him into custody and let someone above us place judgment.

>> No.10920533

You rigged the machine first.

So you are in breach and he is freed.

>> No.10920569

>Throwing away your first demonic pact on a suicide mission is not only insane, but highly counterproductive
See, I'm not 'throwing away' anything. I can make these at will-it's you who is throwing away this chance.
>I entered the pact to not only serve Slaanesh, but to serve whoever the creator of the pact is
Good job messing that up.
>I have done nothing but adhere to the pact
This IS the pact. You are arguing with a pact-giver about terms of the pact after the actual pact was made.
>if you want me to throw my life away, at least give me a chance at survival
I gave you a massive sword, overcharged psyker powers, and the ability to summon daemons.

>> No.10920576

Want me to kill him for you?

>> No.10920586

Varity took care of Narl last time. Let's have Termie take care of Alex.

>> No.10920598


Ahem...your tea sir....
>briefly wonders if he should wear a french maid outfit just to play the part then decides against it

Anyway...would it be ok if I sit down next to you guys for a while?

>> No.10920617

Whatever happens to him, I'm doing it.

>> No.10920623

>Implying he rigged it.
>Implying you can outcontract a daemon

>> No.10920635

I don't see any of them here. And bringing in a heretic to pay for his deeds against the Imperium is the least I could do to show that Varity's training has not been in vain.

>> No.10920638

>You rigged the machine first
I actually don't mind Varity; I couldn't care less what mission Medic was sent on. And you, my friend, are attempting (and failing) to intimidate a daemon. Like, seriously, that's incredibly stupid.

>> No.10920669

Not happening again.

He does service time to work it off.

And for all we know it's owed to her for letting them rescue Nimue.

>> No.10920675


And I am completely fine with that.

>> No.10920705

Lawyering moreso than intimidation...

>> No.10920724


Tarvus, be reasonable. Varity is an expert at what she does. Namely, killing people and daemons like you and I.

>Rubs his forehead.

Why is it that you want me dead, Tarvus. You obviously want Varity dead because she poses a threat to you, and you think that I can kill her if you can't.

I'm not attempting to be obstinate, I'm attempting to be reasonable.

>> No.10920771

The fact is he did it. He will have the chance to plea his case before judgment is made.
Alright. Fair enough, I've seen that you've spent time with him, so I understand. I'm going to go find some equipment and then we can make the Boss lady proud.
>Sets off to search the rooms.

>> No.10920812

Revenge? Do you think that will help?

Do you know what he meant or means to you? Or what you THINK he is to you? You don't need to tell me, I'm just wondering if YOU know.

>> No.10920814

>Mutters something about death following him everywhere he goes

>> No.10920836

Says the guy who suckled 'nid tits.

The sex we can chock up as rape but the suckling needed you to actively participate.

>> No.10920854

We'll see what happens of it. I don't want him dead, but that's taking consorting with daemons to an entirely new level.

Not yet sure how to proceed. But I'm not very happy at all.

>> No.10920892

>Tarvus, be reasonable
I'm a daemon. I can be as reasonable as I wish. Right now I'm being too reasonable, honestly.
>Varity is an expert at what she does. Namely, killing people and daemons like you and I
Except that you are a person, and I am a Daemon.
>Why is it that you want me dead, Tarvus
I want nothing of the sort, Sebastian.
>You obviously want Varity dead because she poses a threat to you, and you think that I can kill her if you can't
It was a randomly generated mission-as I said before, I could not care less what mission what you were sent on. Apparently, though, she's gained enough infamy to warrant her own entry. And you take the mission or are in breach of your pact.
>I'm not attempting to be obstinate, I'm attempting to be reasonable
You gave up that chance when you signed.

>Lawyering moreso than intimidation
Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong.

>> No.10920897

She's slapping him not killing him.

And if he needs a pain collar and imperial service I can provide those.

No further punishments needed, execution for something like this is a waste of flesh.

>> No.10920936

>Emerges from one of the rooms.
Huh, found some of this stuff in a locker. Wonder where it came from.
I dont remember any suckl... WHAT. What are you talking about. Nothing happened.

>> No.10920938


>sits down next to Nimue

Well there are many ways of going around this....how would you like to do this?

>> No.10920977

Hardly new.

And besides back when you were corrupted that's what started him down this road from what I hear.

>> No.10920990

At times like this, I like to ask myself, "What Would Varity Do?" Mostly because it amuses me, because the answer is always, "Heresy? PURGE!"

By the way, you lost a tooth yesterday. Would you like me to replace that for you?

>> No.10920991


...Then let me take whatever mission has been put into it. I hacked it, and a deed is a deed. I gave up my choices to you when I signed on, and now I'm asking you to choose what mission I do. The one that was originally assigned, or the one that I generated.

>> No.10921014

Let the krieger's amorous relations stay concealed and yours will too.

Besides we still need to remove that implant.

>> No.10921034

Yeah.. You're right. But it's not just the daemon thing. It's that, I thought he and I.. We..
> Trails off, scowls, and drinks some more from the canteen.

>> No.10921041

I have found you in breach, but I'm not a 'lol k giz me ur soul' daemon. I'm relatively reasonable.
>produces coin
Heads for the first mission, tails for the second mission.
Fair enough?

>> No.10921094



But I'll flip the coin.

>> No.10921119

Hey now, don't worry. As they say, there are plenty or squigs out in the galaxy. I'm sure you'll find someone else. One who will truly love you.

>> No.10921144

>Tosses coin to Medic.
>1=heads: #422
>2=tails: #233

>> No.10921153

Oh. Well.

Have a strawberry.

>> No.10921168


>looks at Nimue with a sad but understanding face

There are some things in this universe that man himself can not understand, the whimsical nature of love and attachment is one of those things

However, loyalty is another thing, and that being said...you will always have people to count on....even when times get rough

>> No.10921175

I dont have any amorous relations! And I dont remember any implant...

>> No.10921187

Thanks.. You've always helped me out, Marcus.
>Pats the servo-skull.
.. Maybe. Yeah.. But he didn't just betray me, he betrayed everything Varity did for him too. I KNOW she's going to kill him if she finds out but I don't want to see that happen.

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