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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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>> No.47948283 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest
Ask.fm: http://ask.fm/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. You are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. You are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.

You have, in your hubris, all but ruined the fundamental concepts of time and space, and possibly also cause and effect, as they apply to the nation of Planeptune (aka all things Sega). Currently, the cityscape is undergoing instant remodeling as Neptune turns the trousers of time inside out, retroactively ensuring that previously rejected building plans have always existed for many years since just now.

See, you wanted to impress the goddess's minder by giving said goddess the power to complete paperwork without actually having to do it in the first place. And... well, it /worked/. Y'know, after a fashion. Kind of.

Alright, so you can safely say you've never seen Neptune look so focused before. Sure, she's vacantly staring into the middle distance with a faintly worrying smile on her face, but she IS getting paperwork done. In a physically and temporally impossible manner, but it's the thought that counts.

What probably counts more is the fact that Neptune's efforts have attracted the unwanted attention of one of her rival goddesses, Noire of Lastation, who's flying a beeline right for this building, armed for bear. From the guards' guesstimations, she'll be here in a matter of minutes, and no, she's probably not just making a social call.

... you could really go for a drink right now.

(Cont.)

>> No.47778691 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress because the universe of Gamindustri is a sick sunnovabitch. The less said about that, the better.

As a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, you're no stranger to booze or inebriation. Hell, you're reasonably sure that's why monsters always delight in ripping your minions open: your average dwarf's blood alcohol content is high enough to get anyone rip-roaring drunk from fumes alone.

Thing is, you're not very familiar with the /effects/ of getting drunk, 'cause the amount of booze required to make you black out is about the same amount required to kill you by alcohol poisoning. You've never had to develop weird folksy remedies against hangovers, like using xdog hairx or resorting to drinking water. Why would you? You're always either 1) detrimentally sober, 2) sufficiently boozed up, or 3) dead from alcohol poisoning.

So when you DO see someone passed out from too much booze, it's always a little disquieting. It's like being able to see /both/ possible statuses of Schrodinger's cat happening at the same time, and then the damn beast adds a previously unknowable gray area between dead and alive.

So yeah, Compa's somewhere between "sufficiently boozed up" and "has too much booze and may or may not die," and you can't fucking tell where she is on that sliding scale. Doesn't help that the idiot interpreted "yes, you can drink this" as "drink the whole goddamned flask, do it now."

(Cont.)

>> No.47598230 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. You are on the phone with the moe personification of Mega Man, the moe personification of Dragon Quest, and the goddess of all things Xbox. You are standing outside the room of the two goddesses of all things Sega, since they are playing the off-label video games of their constituents.

This is exactly why you just call everyone by their damn names. It's moe personifications all the way down.

Here in Gamindustri, moe personifications are a dime a dozen, but most everyone else has adapted to the whole cutesy anime bullshit better than you ever will (or would ever care to). While you're just a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry who happens to look like a beardless waif, the world is packed full of syrupy-sweet girls with big glittery eyes and voices like gelded cats.

... not that there's anything wrong with that, since you call a whole bunch of them your friends.

You manage to extricate yourself from your four-way phone call with Estelle, Rokko, and Vert- though not without some difficulty. Not that you can blame them for freaking out; you only gave them the extremely short version of your trials thus far- your time in the hyperdimensional void and your time spent inhabiting Neptune's big dumb body- and it DOES sound pretty fucked up.

You decide not to mention how you accidentally created a new goddess out of whole cloth. There's really no good way to describe that without raising more questions, all of them terminally embarrassing.

(Cont.)

>> No.46761531 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. While that makes you a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, the fact that you're a Gamindustri native makes you a short, adorable girl with a high-pitched voice (which you've been trying to fix) and no beard (which you tragically can't).

>"Go get 'em, Nep Jr.! Give them the good old fashioned Planeptune greeting!"

Embarrassment doesn't come easily to dwarves, but with Gamindustri's predilection for dumb anime antics, it really seems to be a damned staple of your existence here. It was inevitable that your friends would spot the lewd engravings (long story) decorating your dimensional doorway (even longer story), but the less said about that, the better.

>"Oneechan! I just! I just killed all those people!"

>"Non non non, guns killed all those people! I mean, guns and bazookas and high-impact grenade-related violence and also that poor guy who walked right in front of your- oh oh oh get in the tank get in the tank!"

Thankfully, that's all behind you! You won't have to deal with Mojang's scandalized and worrisome interest in how Estelle and Rokko stuck their damn dirty paws up your breastplate and gave you the good ol' Gamindustri handshake. At least not until later, and that's good enough for you.

>"Wah! Waaah! There's so much blood! Why's there so much blood!?"

As always, you've got other things to worry about.

(Cont.)

>> No.46361937 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. As the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, you're pretty damn confident in your architectural skills.

Sure, you've got glitches coming out the wazoo, and your approach to physics is best described in terms of body counts and one of those "X Days Since Our Last Gruesome Accident" signs, but you think you've managed to work around that shit. Hell, you could even say that you've made those glitches your own, incorporating them into your building style.

That being said, there are things even you'd be hesitant to build. It's not a LONG list by any stretch of the imagination- mermaid capturing/breeding/harvesting chambers are right up on the top- but it /does/ include the vast majority of buildings emblematic of Gamindustri's twisted universe. By that, you mean stuff that exists just to capture the extremely Japanese essence of cute girls doing titillating things, occasionally to each other, as if your universe was designed by lonely dumbasses with nothing better to do.

Stuff like a goddamned hot springs resort, smack-dab in the middle of your wide-open monster-spawning first cavern-layer.

"Aww, c'mon, Urist!" Neptune whines. "You can't pass up this opportunity! Just look at this place! It's like it was made expressly for this purpose!" The goddess of Planeptune, soaking wet from head to toe, points at your underground lake. It's all but rubbing shoulders with a magma pool, heating the water to a comfortable boil.

(Cont.)

>> No.46274846 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. As the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress (in body AND spirit), you are undoubtedly a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.

See, there was a time when you'd complained about the whole moe personification thing. Since you live a universe with a predilection for cute girls doing wacky things, your body's defaulted toward the anime-esque standard of dwarfdom: short, scrawny, and disgustingly adorable.

So bartenders almost always ask for ID. Everyone wants to give you headpats. Hell, you can't reach high shelves without using a stepladder and/or climbing up and getting stuck thanks to one of your many glitches, and then some asshole puts in a call, and a bunch of firemen arrive and you feel like dying from embarrassment-

... anyway.

You're not complaining about your scrawny tiny waif-y half-a-dwarf body ever again, because it's /yours/, and you won't trade it for anything else in the world. Not even for any goddessly powers.

Once you get yourself back in actual clothes and armor (because Neptune is a jerk who doesn't know when to leave well enough alone), you close your eyes and breathe deeply. All your senses come alive, reinvigorated by the underground atmosphere; subtle shifts in air pressure play along your skin and your braids, the caverns' scents of moss, dust, and ancient strata greet you like old friends, and when you open your eyes, you can /see/ clearly, your vision unchanged by the varying levels of light.

Finally, you feel at home again.

A familiar hand pats you on the shoulder, both for reassurance and comfort. "Welcome back, oneechan," Mojang says quietly, relief coloring her voice.

You can't help but grin faintly. Yeah. Thanks.

(Cont.)

>> No.44291959 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.

While that makes you a dwarf(-ish sort of creature), you ARE the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, so you technically represent /every/ damn creature found in your game. F'r instance, your summons give form to everything from felines to animal men to forgotten beasts, and you're reasonably sure you can channel the respective powers and abilities of the other sentient creatures populating your "world."

You know this because right now, there's a little elf-y part of your brain that's shrieking bloody murder at you.

... well,, not /literally/, but a certain elven quote keeps coming to mind, all snotty and high-falutin and whiny. Elves truly were made for bullying. "Once a beautiful tree, and now?" You can /hear/ the delicate scoff. "It is a rude bauble, fit only for your kind."

Above you, a grand armada of wooden windmills creak as their propeller blades spin in the breeze, their combined strength generating enough power and lift to keep the entire rickety-looking contraption a few feet off the ground. This stupid dwarf megaproject, providing more than enough transmittable power to pump-drain half an ocean's worth of water, will let you make things REALLY fly.

So, yeah, you'll be real damn happy with THIS rude bauble, thank you very much.

(Cont.)

>> No.43781778 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, making you a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry AND a disgustingly adorable girl engaged in dumb anime antics, all at once.

So, yeah, your default state of mind has been 200% mad. Lately, though, you've been more ambivalent about it all. On one hand, the first thing you do every morning is curse the universe for making this your lot in life. On the other hand, while you'll never have a beard, you'll ALWAYS have alcohol and friends (and/or people willing to put up with your bitching and moaning), and that helps you get up in the morning in the FIRST place.

Also, constantly getting caught up in terrifying shit that could easily end your tiny unbearded existence has a way of putting things in perspective.

>[X] [ALL IN] Charge Myrra with your allies. Take her down before she finishes casting whatever it is she's charging up!

For instance, you're currently caught up in a desperate mad rush as you and your allies(?) try to stop Myrra before she can finish charging up whatever overpowered spell she's trying to murder you with. You don't need to be a magician to tell that all this void lightning and strange orange-ish glow is bad fucking news.

Now, see, this really shouldn't be so hard- you've all been fighting on a hollow, cratered asteroid roughly the length of two or three city blocks. Doomgirl howls like a banshee as she easily outdistances you, hurtling forward with no regard to her own safety- what's her top speed again, 50 mph?- and drawing a bead on Myrra with that shotgun of hers-

The Master of Magic's mutter seems to carry across the void, cutting through the noise. "Not this time."

(Cont.)

>> No.43206802 [View]

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. As the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, you are (naturally) a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, although since you're subject to Gamindustri's cutesy bullshit, "moe personification" simply makes you an infuriatingly cute and beardless little girl, and-

... to be honest, now that you're stuck drifting through the chaotic unreality between dimensions, it's a little harder to stay mad at the universal laws of Gamindustri. Sure, Gamindustri tends toward wacky anime shenanigans and some truly bizarre fanservice, but you're positively /nostalgic/ for a world that actually has terra firma, consistent gravity, and a blue sky that isn't just a screaming ever-shifting mass of galactic horror on a greater scale than you've ever cared to experience firsthand.

Of course, the more things change, the more things stay the same. You're still accompanied by your longest-known acquaintance, Mojang. You're still feeling the pangs of alcohol withdrawal, which you quickly quench with the last few drops from your booze flask. And you're staring at a big horrific monstrosity that wants nothing more than to floss its teeth with your sinews, and seriously weighing the pros and cons of trying (and failing) to kick its ass ten ways from Sunday.

The Forgotten Creeper, a monster apparently created out of the completely goddamned platonic bond between you and Mojang, is sitting on the biggest lode of Sharicite you've ever seen in your misbegotten life.

(Cont.)

>> No.41656394 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress (okay) living in Gamindustri (not okay), and you’re currently teetering between “gonna die horribly” and “maybe gonna die, but in a less than horrific manner” (extremely not okay).

… okay, well, to be honest, that's nothing out of the ordinary for you. Dwarf Fortress being what it is, there's probably an entire Planepacked's worth of fine print etched into the very fibers of your being, all of it contractually obligating you to die in hilariously terrible ways. Even so, it’s not every day that your doom comes in the form of a floating green-haired goddess, filling out a battle bikini right out of a magazine pinup and wielding a spear you’d only expect to see in a weaponsmith's feverish dreams.

It's also not every day that anyone, let alone a goddess, refers to your surrogate little sister-slash-apprentice as "my Mojang."

CPU Green Heart, the divine protector of Leanbox and the personification of all things Xbox, sweeps the area with her gaze. Even if she hadn't knocked a gaping sunlight-filled hole in your little cave, her glowing eyes would be clearly visible through the settling dust. Why the hell is she taking so long to figure out tha-

(Cont.)

>> No.41189365 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are the moe representation of Dwarf Fortress- which means you've got some cumulative hundreds of thousands of years of procedurally-generated histories bouncing around in your body, mad dwarven ingenuity mixing with gods-forsaken monstrous horrors and enough ghosts of catastrophically failed fortresses to power an entire pantheon.

In a fair world, this would make you a short, sturdy demigod with mountains for a beard and lava pits for eyes, fond of playing God and altering the fabric of reality itself just by staring sternly at it. Instead, you're a little girl with a nightgown and an alcohol problem, because Gamindustri is a piece of shit.

Anyway, you've got bigger things to worry about: you're in Leanbox, which is gearing up for a miniature apocalypse as shown by the ominous ring of red death large enough to encompass the skies above the entire goddamn island nation. According to an entirely trustworthy source (a fairy in a book who showed you a fragmented vision in your dreams), your old friend and ally- Mojang, a girl with an explosive personality and the annoying tendency to call you big sis- is in so much goddamn shit right now, caught between an irate goddess and her erstwhile overpowered captors, who may or may not be lackeys of Arfoire.

The smartest thing to do right now would be to run as far away as you can and hide out in the northernmost part of Lowee, waiting for the whole thing to boil over.

(Cont.)

>> No.40713310 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress and the physical manifestation of (among other things) ALL the short, sturdy creatures fond of drink and industry. Unraveling all the ridiculously psychedelic implications of that bullshit is a work in progress, although that’s not exactly your top priority at the moment.

Right now, you’re in your own little dream realm, DF Arena. Its original purpose was to be a combination building practice area and physics sandbox- except it's now a place where plot devices, deep fucking foreboding, and book-riding fairies pop up more times than you'd like. And you’re shaking down a book-riding fairy for information about your friends.

... jeez. Even THINKING that sentence in the privacy of your mind makes you feel like a moron. But hey, Histoire just agreed to show you what’s currently going on with Mojang, your oldest friend who may or may not be in heaps of trouble, and you're willing to put up with a lot of shit for that sorta information.

The little blonde fairy- small enough to make even you feel like a giant- is just sitting there with her eyes half-lidded in concentration. The awkward silence stretches on just long enough to make you wonder if you’d gone irrevocably insane about five minutes ago, and if this is all actually just part of your fucking imagination, when a five-by-five patch of reality in front of you suddenly starts showing something else-

(Cont.)

>> No.40504792 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you're a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, with all the powers of-

... well, you're still not sure how the hell to quantify something like "all the powers that come with being the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress." Because you don't have the strength of one hundred dwarves or a gazillion magic spells or anything that you can slap on a list of superpowers- you're just a builder who can tap into an endless well of horrifyingly violent suffering (also known as the standard Dwarf Fortress experience), with a side of procedurally generated abyssal horrors.

To be perfectly honest, you're not sure how you've managed to make /any/ fucking friends at all, but here you are, camping out in the wilderness with some adventuring buddies. Granted, you're in a nation that might be entering full-on apocalypse mode, but that's something you're prepared to deal with after a much-needed good night's sleep.

But first, you're gonna see what's eating at your newest party member. You drain the remaining alcohol from your tertiary flask and make your way around the crackling bonfire.

(Cont.)

>> No.40461051 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, which makes you a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry-

- that's what you thought until just recently. Turns out the truth is a lot more complicated than that. Being Dwarf Fortress means that you're not just one dwarf: you are /every/ short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, along with all those annoyingly ruthless elven protectors of nature and humans prone to great ambition and goblins driven to cruelty by their evil nature.

On top of that, the blood of every fortress (OH so much blood) runs through your veins. You've got a good deal more power in you than you were led to believe, mostly blocked off by whatever's wrong with your brain. You solved this by going into your dreamscape and beating the shit out of the voices in your head, whereupon you created an entire fucking island realm by drudging dirt up out of the ocean.

And all you had to do was try and sleep through a terminal fall to get all this through your thick skull! It's almost enough to make you want to fall off cliffs more often, except you know better than to push your luck: losing is fun, but you'd rather it not be in an anticlimactic manner.

So anyway, you've got some bigger problems to face, like the fact that you made a shotgun-wielding farmer homicidally enraged over how you accidentally ruined her livelihood over a series of poor life choices. It says a lot about your life that you consider that to be a /minor/ issue, compared to whatever else's going on right now.

(Cont.)

>> No.39619116 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. As a general rule, dwarves like yourself are also fond of magma, the butchering of domestic animals, and trade table negotiation via excessive use of violence, so you stick out like a sore thumb in the cutesy anime-dominated land of Gamindustri.

Seriously, whatever goddamn cosmic power brought you in to be the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress should've realized that she was getting a bum deal.

Anyway, you've occasionally had reason to count your blessings in this place: you've got friends (after a fashion), you've generally got enough alcohol to get you by, and you're not currently burning to death in the fortress-engulfing flames of your own making OR getting viciously eviscerated by goblin lashers or elven bowmen.

Thing is, you've sort of forgotten that things can always get worse, even in a place that's best described as "cute girls doing cute and violent things." That point's been brought home after watching the goddesses of two nations beat the unholy shit out of each other on live television, like some sick bastard's idea of an front-row preview to the sort of worldwide war that once ruined entire nations.

You know damn well that there's almost nothing you can do in the face of this bullshit; you're a short little girl with bad hygiene and a tendency towards crippling glitches and laughably ineffective violence. But even though you can't do anything, you... well, it's hard to explain, but you'd feel about fifty times worse if you didn't do /anything/, no matter how ineffective. Helps keep the incipient panic attack at bay.

And speaking of which-

(Cont.)

>> No.38400801 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. You also happen to be the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, and the drawbacks include 1) an inability to grow facial hair, 2) an inability to gain muscle mass, and 3) laws of nature that require all personifications to be cute anime girls.

In your case, it’s like trying to force a square peg into a round hole. The hole is on fire, the peg is viciously fighting the hand tooth and claw, and there’s a miasma of flesh-rotting bacterium on the way to render their efforts meaningless.

So what you’re trying to say is, you’ve got issues on TOP of the usual psychoses you’d expect from being an ANYTHING of Dwarf Fortress.

Right now, you’ve got bigger things to worry about, like being caught smack-dab between two swordswomen who plan on scattering your remains while you’re still alive enough to feel it. Oh, sure, they’re technically only security guards for the treasure cube merchant’s store, but a little thing like professional conduct sure as hell won’t stop the queens of collateral damage and tragically poor sportsmanship.

This is the part where you’re probably expected to say something like “it’s a good thing you have a goddess on your side,” but that saying isn't going to apply here. Neptune is technically on your side, and she's technically the patron goddess of Planeptune and all things Sega, but she's also technically a scruffy-headed airhead in a hoodie and a terminal lack of common sense.

'Course, she IS a goddess, so she's capable of transforming into some sort of HDD mode and turning the entire block into a smoldering crater.

(Cont.)

>> No.38229754 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. You’re also the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, and that’s caused you no small amount of grief, exasperation, and the sort of alcohol dependency that liquefies livers.

In in-game terms, this probably makes your status screen a giant mess of psychoses and strange personality traits: if you had to guess, it would include things like “she dreams of growing a beard, and this dream will never be realized because Gamindustri is bullshit” and “she refuses to succumb to cutest anime-esque shenanigans.”

You’re probably one of the few dwarven adventurers left in this place who thinks like that; as far as you know, the rest of them’ve embraced said cutesy anime-esque shenanigans, cavorting around in armored skirts or doing their hair up in cute pigtails or refusing to cook domestic animals into prepared meat biscuits and delicious tallow roasts.

But enough of that. Right now, you’re standing in the middle of a treasure cube shop. You stormed right through the front doors, intent on grilling a faceless NPC merchant about why a bunch of murderous outcasts were carrying around HIS wares- you THOUGHT you were going in to reveal foul play or gross incompetence. Instead, the merchant thanked you for your efforts and gave you free merchandise, which would be great if he wasn’t eyeing your evidence like a greedy noble. Oh, and you’re basically stalling so that a dumb goddess will undoubtedly make a mess of his back office (and hopefully maybe come up with something useful).

This is all really goddamn confusing.

(Cont.)

>> No.38140384 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. You're the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, and a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. For the most part, at least.

In a sane and just universe, you would be a short, bearded mountain of muscle plagued by horrible smells and compulsions. Unfortunately, you don't live in a sane and just universe- you're in Gamindustri, so you're a short, beardless scrawny girl, and everyone around you generally doesn't approve of horrible smells and compulsions.

As if that wasn't bad enough, you could swear you've got a dent in your head. That's where you were just kicked about fifty trillion fucking times in half a second. And it's not even a /battle/ scar, too, it's from some shrill martial artist who thought you'd kidnapped her robot friend. A few minutes before /that/, you'd just had all your limbs broken and burnt by a spellslinging bitch (you got better).

Now, though, you're standing in front of the one store in Lowee that sells treasure cubes, which are rare and powerful items that normally can't actually be moved out of dungeons. It's a great fucking service and all, but you're sort of here to investigate why these treasure cubes ended up in the hands of a bunch of asshats and outcasts who tried to brutally murder you and a bunch of other people.

You kind of wish you were fighting, instead of having to deal with... well.

(Cont.)

>> No.38048295 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. You are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, living in a world filled to the brim with moe personifications, and there is nothing in that sentence that you're comfortable with.

What makes it even worse is that the universe actively enforces cutesy anime bullshit. Dwarves are not meant to be cute- you're all deranged alcoholic midgets who thrive on bloodshed and horrible decisions- so despite Gamindustri's best efforts to make you an adorable little girl, you cling to your violence, your alcoholism, and your properly twisted dwarven worldview like they're lifelines.

... you're sadly unable to cultivate a beard, but you have enough booze on (and in) you to salve that gaping emotional wound on a daily basis.

(Cont.)

>> No.37981458 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. You, and you alone, are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. As far as you can tell, "personification" means you encapsulate all the good and bad things of your source material. Tacking "moe" in front of that means that you won't be a very ACCURATE representation, unless Dwarf Fortress is actually all about scrawny Japanese girls doing disgustingly cute things and everyone's been playing it wrong the whole time.

... you know just enough about human ingenuity to figure that there's probably a mod for precisely that somewhere on the Internet.

But anyway, back to events in Gamindustri, where nothing good ever happens and everyone is a moe personification. (As far as you're concerned, both statements are synonymous.)

You're standing on the wooded outskirts of Lowee's capital city, where you- in no particular order- constructed a mini-fortress, fended off an army of mini-dragon-men and not-so-mini giant flies, and gotten your ass beat seven ways from Sunday by Myrra, the spellcaster you TRIED to take captive. Your staunch allies consisted of Rokko, a half-busted super fighting robot, Moru, a monster hunting catgirl, and Estelle, a veteran old-school fantasy hero.

Half-dead on your collective feet, you were all on your way back to Lowee to report to the representative goddess of Nintendo, Blanc. As luck would have it, she intercepted you with Neptune, rival goddess who looks really cool but is actually an airhead- apparently, some fearmonger was causing trouble pretty much at the same time as all this was going down.

(Cont.)

>> No.37208265 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Blanc, also known as CPU White Heart, also known as the patron goddess of Lowee and the very concept of Nintendo personified into one cutesy and overly m-word package (you're not a big fan of the concept of "moe"; here in Gamindustri, it's more pervasive than gravity and about fifty times more annoying).

It should really go without saying that you are not a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. In battle, your opponents occasionally call you a dwarf, like they're trying to propel you into a blind seething rage- but hey, joke's on them, that's your default emotion when you're in your CPU form anyway!

You proved that today when you broke and/or mangled a gibbering fearmonger's limbs for perpetrating an all-out, no-holds-barred attack on some visiting adventurers. In the middle of a crowded city that just so happens to be your capital. And on a festival day, no less. And on top of THAT, the first thing she did when she saw you coming was hurl attacks at /you/. Even Neptune, your eternal rival, the patron goddess of Planeptune and all things Sega, gave your violence a pass this time, instead of ragging at you about propriety or whatever.

The only things stopping you from brutally brutalizing the fearmonger (or, more likely, expelling her from Lowee forever) are the following: 1) you really want to know why the hell she did it, and 2) the adventurers she attacked turned out to be almost completely unharmed.

(Cont.)

>> No.37051871 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Blanc. CPU White Heart, patron goddess of Lowee and all things Nintendo, and most assuredly NOT some short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.

Right now, you're facing off against what's commonly known as a "fearmonger"- an adventurer (freelancer, in this case) whose powers tend toward pants-wetting horror. They're borderline psychopaths and paranoid as all hell; if you send 'em on any non-combat mission involving civilians, the end result will be traumatized, screaming children and more tears than shares.

And those are the WELL-ADJUSTED fearmongers. Like Vio and Shizuoka, whose answer to everything, from rampaging dogoos to loose shoelaces, involves liberal application of high-yield explosives. But like all fearmongers, they've got ingrained knowledge of how to scare their enemies shitless- divide and conquer, shadows at the corners of their vision, and, above all else, subtlety.

/This/ one, the one you're fighting, is falling apart at the seams- maybe already was, to be mad enough to attack visiting adventurers in YOUR city. She's scrabbling backwards, screaming nonsense, and hurling out car-sized blobs of pure midnight at a stupid rate, about three times the number required to label her a public menace. Enough weird shadowy shit's skittering around at the edges of your vision to make you feel like a giddy trigger-happy kid in a target-rich environment, and the whole situation's got a distinct sideshow feel to it- the metal scraps and shreds of felt fur flying around don't help, like it's all a twisted amusement park's idea of confetti.

(Cont.)

>> No.36925150 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Blanc, and you are not a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. Admittedly, you ARE short, sturdy, and overly fond of reading and studying (and maybe a little writing on the side), but you are the furthest thing from a dwarf.

For one thing, you're the patron goddess (aka the CPU, or Console Patron Unit) of Lowee, which is the greatest nation in Gamindustri and sits on the only known deposits of Nintendium. For another thing, you're not going to stay short forever; you're reasonably certain that you've still got time to grow up and out, and-

But that's neither here nor there, because your breakfast table is in grave danger- if a certain purple-haired moron so much as DARES to throw up here, you're gonna thrash her so hard that they'll be scraping her parfait-eating ass off the MOON.

(Cont.)

>> No.36865788 [View]

>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

>MINI-QUEST THREAD

You are Blanc, also known as CPU White Heart, and you are most certainly not a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. By now, it's common knowledge that anyone who calls you a dwarf or a midget will learn what it means to live a life without kneecaps.

You are the patron goddess of Lowee, an ancient nation with a long and glorious pedigree stretching back to the dawn of Gamindustri's history. Much of Lowee's early history is steeped in blood and tears and violence, and pretty much all of it can be directly attributed to you and your Nintendium war hammer; your nation has the largest number of ascended guardian spirits, the highest recognition among the citizens of Gamindustri proper, and the sort of implacable stability that would have been unthinkable back in the warring states period.

(Cont.)



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