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>> No.46867617 [View]
File: 85 KB, 938x401, Hyperdimension Nwarf Fortress Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
46867617

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. It's a strange mix, one that makes you both a short, stout creature fond of drink and industry AND a tiny beardless anime girl with braids, but it's a mix that you've grown accustomed to thanks to the wonders of alcohol.

Right now, you're in Neptune's room in the Planeptune Basilicom. You're sitting on the bed, legs swinging back and forth as you watch a buncha people playing some goddamned vidya. Again.

You're still not entirely sure how or why this shit is happening a /second/ time.

Up until a few minutes ago, you were almost certain that Neptune's friends were on the verge of murdering you for somehow accidentally ass- or boob-slapping them, which happened when you dodged their /first/ attempt at murdering you for possibly being an Arfoire spy. (You really can't fucking win.)

Except, somehow, Neptune completely defused the situation.

"How did you break in!?" IF- the girl in the blue trenchcoat- had been yelling, angrily wiping away tears of pain as she clambered to her feet. "I will /break/ you if you even think of lying-"

"Hi Iffy!" Neptune had chirruped, waving like she didn't have a care in the world.

"And you! You've got to be some sort of Arfoire clone, the /real/ Neptune is somewhere else-"

"It's okay, we took care of that! Urist here broke me out of my coma by smuggling me out inside her head!"

"She WHAT-"

"Oh! Look, look, I have a little sister now! Say hi to the nice girl, Nep Jr.! Awwww, lookit that, she's shy."

"You have a WHAT-"

"Haha, the look on your face, Iffy! Gosh, I should take a picture-"

"Don't you DARE-"

(Cont.)

>> No.46168228 [View]
File: 85 KB, 938x401, Hyperdimension Nwarf Fortress Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
46168228

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. In an ideal universe, you'd be a short, sturdy (and bearded) creature fond of drink and industry, running your own fortresses and basing their economies around increasingly inventive ways to murder anything and anyone that moves.

Instead, you live in Gamindustri, so you're a cute little girl. Right now, you're trapped in the body of a cute bikini-clad goddess, one that doesn't even have the decency to have night vision or crippling alcoholism. There really is no justice in the universe.

... though honestly, you really can't complain, can you? Not when you've got a glitching giant cave spider pinned to the cavern floor, CPU Purple Heart's ridiculous divine sword punching through void-hardened chitin and stone with disturbing ease.

Used to be that you couldn't even touch any of the damn spiders in melee; they'd just vomit webs at you and inject neurotoxins directly into your fucking head while you were sprawled out against the ground. And here you are, one leg propped up on the spider's body, with your boot grinding against the ruins of its head like it's no big deal.

Combat's a hell of a lot easier when you've got the power of flight, and when you've got another goddess of all things Sega (among other people) giving you backup, isn't it?

"Whew... everyone okay?" Mojang slides off her ledge and hits the ground jogging, not putting away her bow or arrows. As usual, she briefly glances toward Neptune (in your body) before blushing and turning to address you (in Neptune's body). Force of habit, you suppose. "Oneechan, that should be enough, right?"

(Cont.)

>> No.46020072 [View]
File: 85 KB, 938x401, Hyperdimension Nwarf Fortress Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
46020072

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. Normally, you're a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, but right now, you're stuck in the body of a goddess. That is not nearly as awesome as it sounds. Thankfully, you're on the verge of getting that shit sorted out, but to be perfectly honest, that's not your most pressing concern right now:

You can't remember the last time you drank alcohol.

This shouldn't be happening, because you are (technically still) a dwarf. By all rights, your throat should've dried up fifteen minutes into alcohol deprivation. By half an hour, your skin should've started crawling, and an hour without a properly stiff drink should see your limbs growing leaden and unresponsive. The fact that you've gone /entire minutes/ without even thinking about alcohol is staggeringly unnatural, in and of itself.

... right. You're stuck in CPU Purple Heart's body. Unless Neptune's hiding some sorta deep darkness behind that ditzy airheaded exterior, you're reasonably sure she's not hopelessly addicted to cave-brewed moonshine. Your mind's clear, your body's not going into withdrawal, and you don't feel like murdering the nearest person in hopes that their internal organs contain trace amounts of booze. (You DO feel peckish for dessert, but you push it down).

Armok help you, is... is this what it's like to NOT be alcoholic?

"Oneechan, are you okay?"

You look up. Up ahead, Mojang's frowning at you with no small amount of worry, so you nod quickly. Yeah, you're fine! You're just fine.

(Cont.)

>> No.45970596 [View]
File: 85 KB, 938x401, Hyperdimension Nwarf Fortress Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45970596

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. While you ARE a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, the rigid anime-steeped physical laws of Gamindustri conspire against you, making you look like an adorable little girl (as opposed to a barrel-shaped slab of muscled beard).

"Hgghhhlloooaoroghhhghh gosh it's all so /green/ nnghhwwwaoooooargh-"

Right now, you're watching your own body throw up all over the place, rubbing your back consolingly. Because you'd swapped bodies with the airheaded goddess of all things Sega. And then you got steamed at her efforts to make you look ~cute~. And then, finally, you'd proceeded to take her for a ride through all the ways to make a dwarven body catastrophically and graphically nauseous: exposure to sunlight, uncontrolled high-speed high-altitude flight, and copious amounts of non-lethal violence.

Surprisingly enough, you feel a little bad about losing control and tantruming. Neptune didn't mean anything bad by it, she was just... y'know. Being Neptune-ly annoying. You're just frustrated at how easily your body snapped back into its default adorable state, despite all the effort you'd put into keeping yourself looking like a properly dwarven /adventurer/ instead of some lonely nerd's little sister fantasy.

"- nngnhahhahhhghhgh why isn't this censored, what happened to rainbow-colored streams of sparkly stuff that you're supposed to get instead bllllaararrragggggh-"

... on the other hand, she DID put you in cat lingerie. And you didn't even think you were capable of /bouncing/, in every meaning of the phrase.

(Cont.)

>> No.45828222 [View]
File: 85 KB, 938x401, Hyperdimension Nwarf Fortress Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45828222

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay. You are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. Ever since you were spawned in some goddess-forsaken corner of Gamindustri, you were painfully aware that those words should not be anywhere near each other. Still, that's the hand you were dealt, so you really had no choice but to make the best of it.

... of course, that was back when you weren't caught up in heaps of bullshit taller than any dwarf should ever have to deal with.

'But Urist,' a discerning reader might say. 'Surely you're exaggerating! You're just a simple dwarven adventurer finding her fortune like every other moe personification out there! Your life can't possibly be THAT insane!'

Yeah, well, if anyone ever bucked up and said that to you in real life, you'd just point them toward Histoire, the goddessly middle management of Gamindustri who's normally calm, composed, and as professional as a voice-controlled computerized smartphone assistant.

Because right now, she's looking upon the fruits of your labors and having a slight existential crisis and/or panic attack.

=What,= Histoire says weakly, her Key Fragments swiveling to stare at Blanc. The goddess of all things Nintendo continues hovering protectively over mini-Nep, favoring Histoire with a wary stare of her own.

=For what reason,= Histoire stammers, looking back down at the mini-Nep- the goddess you'd crafted from thin air is still playing with her toy mini-forge. The long-haired Nep-something appears to be forging tiny accessories for her crude toy robot, and is wholly engrossed in her work.

(Cont.)

>> No.45768780 [View]
File: 85 KB, 938x401, Hyperdimension Nwarf Fortress Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
45768780

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. Normally, you'd be a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry, which translates to "short, beardless teenage girl" under Gamindustri's bullshit universal rules. Right now, though, you're temporarily possessing the body of the goddess of all things Sega, Neptune aka CPU Purple Heart.

Seriously, it's not nearly as glamorous as it sounds. For one thing, you're reasonably certain that Neptune's in /your/ body, and the hyperactive quip-spouting little psychopath MUST be wreaking all sorts of havoc. Which is bullshit, because SHE'S safe and sound in your fortress, probably wrapped up in wacky antics that’ll be sure to embarrass the hell out of you; meanwhile YOU'VE been stuck in the hyperdimensional void, fighting mind-bending faceless horrors from beyond time and space. There really is no justice in Gamindustri.

Secondly, you're stuck wrassling with her goddessly abilities. As far as you can tell, most of 'em are combat-related, overcharged with divine energy, and tend to interact with your own Dwarf Fortress skills in strange and unpredictable ways.

For instance, you've just given birth to a brand-spanking new mini-goddess of all things Sega.

What the hell.

(Cont.)

>> No.43938744 [View]
File: 85 KB, 938x401, Hyperdimension Nwarf Fortress Quest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
43938744

>Archive links:
>>http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, and you are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry. Right now, you're grimly keeping your balance on an explosion-propelled space rock that's hurtling through the cluttered hyperdimensional void at cataclysmically unsafe speeds.

Praying to Armok that you won't crash into anything hard enough to turn you all into chunky meat sauce would be futile, since your plan to arrive at your destination does, in fact, involve crashing into it hard enough to turn you all into chunky meat sauce. Heck, the very act of STOPPING your hollowed-out asteroid REQUIRES that you crash into something with enough force to turn you all into chunky meat sauce, while steering to the left or right requires that you detonate one of the munition piles cobbled together on either side of your makeshift vehicle.

And here you are, riding this deathtrap to the nearest stranded adventurer, who's probably just sitting on a floating island not that much larger than your hollowed-out asteroid. You ARE intent on helping her- although now that you think about it, rescue missions normally fail if the rescuers accidentally vaporize their target and her immediate surroundings upon landing.

... see, THIS is why you try to avoid working with people who both agree with your suicidal dwarfy plans AND have the power to make your plans a horrific reality.

Your awed stargazing is rudely interrupted when a fist-sized piece of debris smashes into the 'ground' a few feet away, making you jump.

"Get in cover, idiot!" Tiff roars from somewhere underneath your feet. "We got incoming!"

(Cont.)



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