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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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>> No.74902488 [View]
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74902488

>>74893366
>"hey baby, I heard that tieflings have crusty meat flaps that smell like egg farts. Mind if I check before we order?"

>> No.74764120 [View]
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74764120

>>74764094
>thinks he can fool anyone else into using his useless pet phrase

Yikes.

>> No.74504204 [View]
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74504204

>Famine, poverty, and war have HP

>> No.74446191 [View]
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74446191

>>74445891
> no casters

Have you really not played Monster Hunter?
There's like four different pseudo-casters, ranging from the ranged weapon users to the horn dudes.

>> No.74378742 [View]
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74378742

>player wants his knight to wear a diaper
>delivers a lengthy speech explaining how armor was very difficult to take off just to piss or shit, and how pissing or shitting yourself during a battle was extremely common
>goes on to talk about how in modern sports, pissing yourself happens all the time since there's no chance to take a bathroom break, and everyone from football players to nascar drivers to marathon runners will just piss themselves and then maybe splash themselves with water to try and hide it
>GM finally decides to cut in and tell the player that a diaper won't be necessary, since PCs don't piss or shit, but the player really will not budge and says the diaper represents his character's ingenuity and dedication to proper hygiene
>GM just wants to start the game and says fine
>knight pisses himself in the first encounter, player looks extremely pleased with himself

>> No.74317582 [View]
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74317582

>>74310745
>let fate decide

What kind of person reads that and says "Yes, I will buy this"?

>> No.74206052 [View]
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74206052

>>74205739
>matched up with the debris because The Force

>> No.74176860 [View]
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74176860

>>74176790
Math nerd fantasies have gotten a lot sadder since the last time I heard one.

>> No.74169064 [View]
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74169064

>no Healing Word
It's better than Cure Wounds, especially for your strategy of "pick up the pieces of the rest of the party" strategy.

Someone within 60ft of you drops? Healing Word as a bonus action, and they get right back into the fight.

>> No.74110028 [View]
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74110028

>>74108860
>That's actually unironically a solid design for a form of an old human idol/god/entity.

>> No.74047864 [View]
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74047864

>>74047782
>Not to mention, every Wizard just feels the same, no matter what.

>> No.73851180 [View]
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73851180

>DM wants to run an avant-garde adventure
>sure
>we each take the role of a small child, deeply interested in D&D, with physical and mental stats that are basically between shit and garbage
>the children find a book of summoning monsters, and when we try to summon a pseudodragon, we instead summon a goblin
>game changes from after-school special about fun and discovery into bleak as fuck horror movie when the goblin stabs a child and then runs away to hide in the house
>we try to do something about the bleeding, but our clumsy kid hands and paper towels do very little, and the child dies
>DM tells that player that it's quite sad, but that he'll be able to continue to play.
>As the goblin.
>Game turns into a horror survival nightmare where ill-equipped children try to defeat a single goblin who is trapping up the house like Kevin McCallister while also being more than capable of killing all of us if we don't immediately run from it whenever we see it
>after one of the children tries to run from the house, the goblin buries an arrow into his leg and then drags him back into the house, before using him as a sacrifice to summon another goblin
>the DM lets this second player now play as a smarter, much scarier goblin, and the two goblin players now consult with each other and create super-sadistic Saw-Style traps while everything we try fails
>After some brutal deaths, the last two children are trapped in the basement, with four goblins trying to kill them
>the children think there might be something that can help them inside one of their D&D books
>There isn't
>They die horrifically
>*jazz hands*

>> No.73821817 [DELETED]  [View]
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73821817

>GM introduce an NPC as a "Grand Moff."
>we're not playing star wars

Should someone have said something?

>> No.73726685 [View]
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73726685

>those physical stats

My 90-year old grandma has better stats than those.

>> No.73599351 [DELETED]  [View]
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73599351

>Chaotic Evil character in a neutral/good party
>his only motivation is "Kill the Rich"
>zero justification, simply "Kill the Rich."
>Doesn't even pretend to have a deep reason, he's got an int of 8 and a wis of 10, just repeats "Kill the Rich" as his slogan
>has the entire party join his cause by the end of the first session

>> No.73393995 [View]
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73393995

What are you even trying to do here, man?

>> No.73372498 [View]
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73372498

>>73371361
This is some terrible writing.

>> No.73363958 [View]
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73363958

Is this a cry for help?

>> No.73345167 [View]
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73345167

Why would you try to justify doing ANYTHING out of spite?

>> No.73120978 [View]
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73120978

>undead skelly army
>not interesting

Where do you live and how can I avoid going there?

>> No.73098792 [View]
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73098792

Is that bottom image a real image?

>> No.73097172 [View]
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73097172

>warlock
>pact of the fiend
>female character, male player

Fine so far.

>player wants to justify playing a female character

You don't need to, buddy.

>fiend patron is powered by abortions

Oh no.

>warlock actively tries to have as many abortions as possible, getting impregnated by strangers and then having a ritualistic abortion sacrifice once a month

There's no way this could get worse.

>Names each of her aborted children, and calls out those names as she uses Eldritch Blast, which takes the form of spectral flying fetuses

>> No.73090304 [View]
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73090304

>100 replies

>> No.73084316 [View]
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73084316

>>73084162
Aren't a lot of those pieces interchangeable? It looks more like constructing a pattern than putting together a puzzle.



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