HELP DRUG TEST!!!

[Anonymous No.9330592]

ok so here is the problem... Its 8:48 i have the drug test appointment at 1:00 im a heavy weed smoker, so im pretty sure im dirty, i work for the gmnt so i CANT loose this job... Really need the help, Im not even sure this is a drug test, but they r making us pee on a cup, is a physical test so we can go inside the ships and stuff like that , i am a civilian DoD. My friend gave me his urine, but when I started this job a month ago, they asked for blood and urine, so they have info from my urine already, can they find out that this urine that im bringing in today is not mine? are they going to test it againts the past one? give me ideas of what i can do to save my ass!!! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM BEGGING

[Anonymous No.9330599]

helpppp

[Anonymous No.9330618]

There is not that much of being afraid of
They want control your DNA is too expansive
Chill down

[Anonymous No.9330623]

>>9330592
Too little time. There's nothing you can do. You played yourself. Hope it was worth it.

[Anonymous No.9330635]

>>9330599
Your best bet is to just use your buddies urine. Put it in a good Ziploc bag, the kind that actually has a zipper thing so that shit seals well, and strap it to your leg so it's warm. And just do that shit. You have no choice. I give you 50/50

[Anonymous No.9330647]

>heavy weed smoker

[Anonymous No.9330665]

Drug tests are designed to see if you're capable of stopping drugs for a period of time for an important event. They don't give a fuck if you abuse drugs as long you can keep it under control. From what you've written, you clearly doesn't deserve that job.

[Anonymous No.9330672]

I hear bleach can nullify the THC in your blood

[Anonymous No.9330697]

>>9330592
There is nothing you can do bar getting a new body. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten high in the first place if you wanted to get a job. Oh well, ship builders will get replaced by robots anyway.

[Anonymous No.9330705]

>>9330592
not really, it is imposible. They dont have yur old urine and they didnt and wont make ad dna for sure, and urine doesnt even have much dna

[Anonymous No.9330708]

>>9330665
>you clearly doesn't
>you doesn't
weew

[Anonymous No.9330712]

You have to make PLANS nigga.

[Anonymous No.9330756]

>>9330592
How did you pass the piss test, when you got the job?

What is even the point of that test in the first place? Is smoking weed even a reason to fire you? It is (semi-)legal in many states.

If you are sure they are screening for weed, then might as well use your friends urine, it might work. Urine is not a very reliable way to identify a person, I suspect the worst that can happen is that you simply have to do the test again with someone watching you take a piss.

[Anonymous No.9330761]

You may safely use your friend's urine. The test are a simple dipstick, don't worry.

[Anonymous No.9330765]

>>9330756
How can you use friends' urine though

>guy gets hold of container
>feels cold temperature
>figures out smth is wrong

(unless you just give a sample at a random time, and they don't ask for it just as you leave toilets, in which case you can just pretend it cooled down with time)

[Anonymous No.9330771]

>>9330765
see
>>9330635

Or something like that, as long as its somewhat warm you should be good.

[Anonymous No.9330774]

For the whole piss cooling down, use a hand warmer to keep it at an appropriate level of heat.

[Anonymous No.9330784]

>stoner
>typing like a 14 yr old girl
>>>/b/
>>>/trash/

[Anonymous No.9330790]

Thank you people, i just re-scheduled the appointment, so im going to have more time to fix this thing up. I appreciate the positive comments, and the negative ones too.. I know i fucked up.

[Anonymous No.9330791]

>>9330790
You deserve a toke bro

[Anonymous No.9330816]

>>9330592
>>9330599
>drug addict
>types like a retarded nigger
>does a job for uneducated retards that require drug tests and doesn't think about the test until 5 hours beforehand
How do you even manage to work your computer?

[Anonymous No.9330880]

2 choices OP
>drop a pube in the bottle and hope they dont notice it when the accept it.
This makes the sample no good so they will reschedule your pissing.
>Chug vinegar
Yup, it will suck but it will cleanse you.

[Anonymous No.9330881]

>>9330592
DUDE

[Anonymous No.9330888]

>>9330592
>heavy weed smoker
>types like a teenage girl
I think you need this wake up call. get your shit together friend

[Anonymous No.9330891]

>>9330635
put it in a vial, then put the vial in your pocket.

[Anonymous No.9330897]

>>9330592
Solution: Do not use drugs
You are welcome my man, I am genius. If you appreciate this help please tell me, I will link to my patreon where you can donate.

[Anonymous No.9330899]

>>9330592
Give them a fecal sample and say you misunderstood

[Anonymous No.9330900]

>>9330891
>>9330765
>>9330756
>>9330635
These guys are all wrong.
>>9330592
OP, if you really want to pass this urine test take a vile, shove it up your ass. Then the urine will be the perfect temperature. I hate that it has to come down from this, but I knew a woman who was a drug addict and the way she passed her urine test was by shoving a container up her vagina with fake urine.

For future events, just piss in a container while you are sober. Then just save it to shove up your ass when needed.

[Anonymous No.9330903]

>>9330592
They don't want to employ people who use illegal drugs and this is the second time they have done it you're just stupid, accept the fact you will lose the job

[Anonymous No.9330907]

>>9330592
>use drugs non-stop in a job that requires one not to use drugs because of innumerable psychological and physical safety reasons
>wahh why are there consequences for me deliberately breaking the law
enjoy McDonalds, Bucko. By this time, you're probably already fired. Might as well metaphorically kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.9330913]

>>9330880
its too late for OP, but another option is to literally drink so much water, that the urine sampled is completely flooded. They won't accept it, but it'll buy you some time. If they suspect you did it intentionally, they will count it as a fail though. But too late for OP already.

[Anonymous No.9330914]

>>9330881
WEED

[Anonymous No.9330917]

>>9330592
buy fake piss. shove it in ur ass, strap to leg, strap to dick. hope for the best