/sci/ - Science & Math

>>9779890
>prof tells shit jokes

>>9779890
>Chemistry prof only tells jokes periodically

>Professor tells me to kill myself

>prof spends 20 minutes ranting about politics before he starts lecturing

>Prof can't stop telling us stories of her and her kids
Jesus Christ bitch, shut the fuck up and start so I can get out of here

>prof can't stop talking about how he's the hardest prof we've ever had.
is ...is that a bulge in his pants?

>professor probes my anus

>>9780035
fake and gay

>>9779979
kek why do lefties do this?

>prof leaves proof as exercise

>>9780452
>Proof has been left out as an exercise for the reader.
eternal classic

>>9780452
>tripfag decides to explore websites that aren't Reddit
Take your beardlegs and hulk arms somewhere else you thot

>prof spends 40 minutes on a single proof and still can't do it

>>9779961
stooooooooooooooooooooop

>>9779961
you don't even realize how unfunny that is

>prof makes a mistake when solving an exercise and says "fixing that is your homework". Every fucking class.

>>9779890

>professor laughs at you in front of the class

>>9781866
don't be a dumbbell then, dumbbell.

>>9781866
>professor tells you your performance anxiety will get better over time in front of the class

>>9781866
https://youtu.be/TcWPiHjIExA?t=2m25s

>>9781868
I DIDN'T WANT TO BE BORN LIKE THIS

>>9781872
THEN START DOING SOMETHING TO MAKE YOUR EXISTENCE MORE BEARABLE. SHOW THAT PROFESSOR WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF FAGGOT

>prof shit himself as I point the gun at him
nothing personnel

>>9781890
Meant to quote >>9781877

>>9781890
>>9781892
It's ok anon. I understand sometimes it can be hard on you, but keep your head up and go about knowing you're doing your best.

>>9781897
Thanks for the encouragement anon

>>9779979
We've got two of those in my school

>Prof accidentally messes up two words, spends then remaining two hours claiming grass is blue

>>9781928
explain

>prof accidently calls parabola's focus "fucker" when explaining applications of quadratics

>Suppose that

>prof is so determined to finish his proof despite making an awful lot of mistakes that he keeps on going regardless
seriously, that was really fucking retarded

>>9779890
>Professor tells a 9/11 joke
<3 u Danilov

>>9782013
She literally just misspoke and wasn't able to admit it, and rather than to just move on with the material, she defended what she said when she misspoke

It was kinda weird

>>9779890
>professor is a pathetic beta male
>professor tells shitty jokes
>professor tries a shitty unorthodox method of teaching that every one hates
>professor doubles down because he ex-wife didn't leave him with enough of an ego to take criticism
>professor tries to shake my hand after the final
>professor is sad after I look him in the eye and walk away, his hand still extended.

>>9782418
I got genuienly sad for him after he wanted to shake your hand and you refused to do so

>>9782428
Serves him right for being a faggot.
I literally pretended to be nice to him for the A

>>9782016
australian education everyone

>>9782487
polish desu
she called it "pierdolnik"

>>9779890
>if you come to me and you didn't understand something, I will think you are slow

> If you email me a question that is answered in the syllabus I will not respond.

>>9779890
>professor tells mildly amusing joke
>that one kid who laughs at every one
>that kid's me

>>9782452
You're a cunt, mate.

>>9782532
sounds pretty based

>>9782534
kek me too. If someone drops a pen next to me I giggle. I'm so fucking retarded lol

>prof uses goku's training on king kai planet as an example of phenotypic plasticity

>>9781890
>>9781892
>can't even post properly

>>9782016
lel

>>9779890
>prof starts telling a joke

>>9782493
a jak po polsku to brzmi normalnie?

>>9782534
only normies try to not laugh

>proof says he won't overload the end of the course then overloads the end of the course

>>9782418
>try to shake professor's hand after the final
>he looks at me like a piece of garbage

>Prof asks you to solve exercise in front of the class when you have no idea what's going on

>>9782844
>Prof asks you to solve exercise in front of the class when you have no idea what's going on
>guess correctly

>>9782750
też fokus. po prostu zapomniala slowa i powiedziala "no wiecie, ten pierdolnik po srodku"

>Prof compliment me

>prof compliments me

>professor inspires me

>>9780537
>tripfag
lurk for 2 years before posting

>>9783694
>lurking on an anonymous meme board for 2 years
Such a sad life you must've had

This guy slaps your bongo drum. what do you do?

>>9782844

>professor caves in to autist and extends homework deadline

>have crush on professor

>>9784096
tell us the story

>>9784096
>>9784180
I can see that happening. You know the saying men age like wine, and then there is that (probably really smart) man standing there inf front of the class having fun teaching stuff. If he's also got the looks comparable to young feynman >>9783748 you'd just be able to hear the panties dropping.

>prof gives homework questions that turn out to be literally impossible

>math prof spends 30min in every lecture yapping about how physicist dont understand shit
>physics prof does the same about mathematicians

> Prof sets exam so hard that 80% of the class fails
> just gives everyone 50 extra marks to make up for it
For what purpose

>>9784204
>prof gives out homework with trivial solution then makes the next one harder

>>9784096

>prof gives easy af examples in lectures
>homework questions are insane
literally my phys org chem course

Lecture example: pericyclic reactions of butadiene and some ethylene derivate!

Homework: Nenitzescu's hydrocarbon, basketane and other shit

>>9784218
>both professors criticisms of the other are completely correct

>that one student that always asks stupid questions asks if the prof could elaborate some basic shit
>prof finally just says no

>prof is actually three tiny profs stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat

>>9782838
Don't do that. It's gross.

>>9784096
I feel you there, anon. I spent more time in class checking her out and picturing myself balls deep in her than actually paying attention. She gave me extra credit in almost every homework I turned in and found out no one else got it. That made my imagination get more graphic

>>9784913
Had a girl keep doing this in calc 2 until my Ukrainian prof just plainly told her to leave the class and go use Khan Academy.

>>9783744
>pretends to be oldfag
>doesn't know what a tripfag is
>calls other people sad
wew lad

>female professor winks at you in front of the class

math prof refers to equations as "big guys" and numbers as "little guys"

>>9779979
Professor peppers in 10 minute long political rants after teaching complex topics that require immense practice.

>>9785258
god, slavic profs are the best

>>9784636
This, every fucking time. And then the tests are even harder. This is the opposite of highschool.

>>9784244
Because for every 100 students, there are 2 that actually are intelligent enough to understand the material. Those 2 are the students who will go on to get published while the rest will just get passing grades, grab a degree and then do nothing with it for the rest of their lives.

>>9785468
but why bother passing them

>foreign professor tells the same ass joke every time and always has the same shit eating grin while saying it

>>9785468
Not everyone is interested in working in academia faggot

>>9785170
i dont trust like that

>>9779890
>"Einstein, Newton, and Pascal all decide to play hide and seek one day. Einstein counts first, and Pascal goes to hide. However, Newton just stands where he is and draws a square in the ground around himself. Once Einstein finishes counting, he turns around and immediately sees Newton.
>'Ha, found you Newton!, Einstein says.
>'No,' Newton replies with a grin on his face, 'You found Newton over a meter squared. You found Pascal!' "

>>9786497
kek

>>9785498
Jerry is here

When everyone laughs out loud do people actually find the joke funny or do they laugh out of politeness?

I am always surprised at how easily people laugh out loud. Even when I find something funny I just push some air out of my nose at best. It always confused me in theaters as well.

>>9785637
Don't go to a university then, an institution literally defined as educating people to a level where they can do their research, but to a trade school or a local college

Oh wait you just went there because your mother told you so, have fun being a waste of resources

>>9786497
jedenzdziesieciu-stulejarzmowidowcip.flv

>>9780452
>proof leaves prof as exercise

>>9787037
why did you bother writing this piece of 9gag tier response? kill yourself, unironically

>>9779979
>she's conservative

>>9787195
I thought it was cute

>prof is away, fill in guy doing lecture
>walks in and brings up a "university stalker" facebook page
>edits html of page to show him with 420 friend requests and 1337 notifications
>"some of you might recognise those numbers if you're a bit of a memelord"
>spends the next 5 minutes talking about some post on there about a tutor for the course
>class erupting with laughter through all of this

>>9786497
delet this

>>9787246
is she single?

>>9786497
kek

>>9779979
I literally avoided a school because the guy who would've been my advisor went on a rant about Gamergate in the middle of the recruiting dinner. He also bragged about making students show up early for no good reason, so he was really shit all around, glad I actually got to talk to him before considering it.

>>9786497
lol

>>9786497
Kino.

>prof brags about the average drop rate of his classes being 90% and the fail rate 60%

>>9787728
It's honestly depressing that there are a lot of people who only teach because their university forces them to, and have zero interest in helping students learn.

>prof goes around asking all the seniors what theyre doing post graduate then asks me even tho i'm a junior among another 11 juniors

>>9785299
Kek is he Russian?

>>9779890
>prof calls every equation "this guy"

>>9786497

>psych professor
>chad and stacey sitting near me constantly talking
>points at them and says "GET A ROOM"
>they shut up for the remaining 1hr 15 mins of the class

Absolute turbo-chad, that professor was

>>9780452
Doing final exam. Spent too long on previous questions and I'm running out of time. One question and one minute remaining. Quickly do all the shit in my head and scribble, "I leave the proof as an exercise to the marker."

After I get the test back I tally up my marks to make sure I got graded correctly. I have 2 marks more than I should. Feels good man.

>>9781639
>We'll finish this one next class
>Homework for this lecture is still due then though lol

>>9786688
this is probably the most autistic post on /sci/ at the moment, and that's saying something

>>9785284

notice how the guy replied in true meme format, then didnt reply again when he was called the fuck out on his idiocy

replying in the first place makes you look like the fucking idiot you are

dont pretend, newfags

>>9788033
>reddit spacing

>>9782452
Go fuck yourself.

>prof asks question
>raise hand
"Okay could we get someone who is not anon for once?"
I participate more than anyone.

>>9788438
What is this leddit spacing meme? I've been on leddit maybe 3 times my entire life and that was to look at some pictures of mountains and forests and shit and maybe to read about BL 2 before it came out or something. And sometimes I use that spacing depending on what I am talking about and how I want to structure it. These "back2leddit" memes are leddit tier garbage. Why don't you take a break from 4chin, pajeet?

>>9788576

>what is reddit spacing

This is reddit spacing.

Some people are so autistic that they can't handle line returns between things, even though people used it here before Reddit was a thing.

>prof, tired of me talking in class, asks me:"so, gentleman, how many solutions does this problem have?"
>me:"at least one"
>prof chuckles

I'll get my coat

>>9788587
???

>>9788568
I hate this shit. My discrete math class has like 10 people half of which are foreign exchange students who don't speak english and the other 4 are total betas who never answer questions in class. If I don't answer everything we'd never get through the material.

>>9788568
>prof says he's sick of same two or three people answering everything
>switches to """random""" names he printed out
>i still come up the most of everyone, three times in a row

>>9786497
Worst science joke i've ever heard in my entire life

>>9788568
Luigi is that you?

>>9779961
I’m in physical pain.

>>9781877
>faggot
Why the homophobia?

>>9785299
This happened to me in physics I class. Prof was new to teaching and treated everyone like middle school kids. It was hilarious.

>>9788751
Is this faggot some script kiddies bot?

>>9789553
>kiddie
Why the pedophobia?

>>9779890
>mfw im the prof

>>9789561

>>9789560
It worries me that there's an actually human typing this out every time.

>student doesn't understand a simple math concept behind some physical phenomenon
>professor tries to make him understand, the guy doesn't get it
>professor gives up
>later, mid-lecture, he circles two parts of an equation
>"Ok, so we call this guy Flower, and this is Dora the Explorer, so Dora the Explorer decides to go look for the flower inside an integral"
>keeps it up for the rest of the lecture with other variables and equations
>just to make fun of the guy

everyone took it really lightly though, since the professor is an absolute chad. even the original student was laughing his ass off

>>9789567
>there's an actually human typing this out every time
Why the retardophobia?

>>9784636
>Prof gives east examples in lectures
>Time-limites in-tutorial assignment questions are hard as fuck
>TAs misdirect you and you waste all your time

>>9788587
What if it had zero, retard?

>Professor starts talking about consciousness and hippie spiritual stuff for the last 20 minutes of class
The joke was on him when the local /x/phile found out and came to his house.

>>9789648
>Prof gives east examples in lectures
>only north questions on the exam
fml

>>9786688
>Don't go to a university then, an institution literally defined as educating people to a level where they can do their research, but to a trade school or a local college
Wow you are literally retarded, ok

>>9787246
>she's conservative

>>9785258
Based

>>9786497

>>9787752
It's probably because they see most students as lazy normies who just want to get drunk, smoke weed and fuck around, not giving two shits about the curriculum.

>>9780452
>prof leaves proof as exercise
>statement turns out to be false

>>9787195
why do you have to be so rude anon, chill out man

>>9784218
/sci/ irl

>>9785258
There was this guy in an entry level economics course who was seriously one of the most annoying students. He would try to brown nose the teacher, always was obnoxious and tried (and failed) to make jokes. Basically the epitome of "that guy".

About midway through the semester, our instructor, who was from Russia or the Ukraine finally told said, "Shut up, you are annoying". The entire class silently had a giggle.

Fucking based econ professor, probably one my favorite instructors I've had so far.

>>9785375
This shit seriously is the succ. I've done pretty decent so far, but I'll be damned if I don't panic for a minute when I look through the exam.

>>9790207
kek

>>9788661
T. Pascal

>>9787922
I had a east european teaching assistant who called equations "guys"

>>9779979
especially in economics. just about every prof just has to tell us that communism is shite at least thrice

can't say I mind

>professor starts writing on the board

[math] \int \frac{1}{cabin} dcabin = log(cabin) [/math]

>>9785299
>tfw I call math objects "creatures"

>>9787195
:(

>>9787257
Thank you :)

>>9791094
You forgot to add the sea

>>9788568
I don't raise my hand to avoid this exact situation. I did this a lot pre-high school before I realized nobody likes a know-it-all.

Diff. Eq. prof once asked, for fun, mostly, what value could be plugged into e^(ix) so that the other side could simplify interestingly (he was introducing the formula for the first time). I counted down from six in my head and when no one had still said anything I shouted out "pi" in such a way that it seemed like a guess.

>>9790940
>I don't mind long-winded obnoxious political rants as long as they agree with me
/pol/ please go

>>9781928
Grass is blue, retard. Haven't you heard of bluegrass?

>>9791750
folk music

>>9786647
It's time to ban autists from the internet.

>>9789553
You don't know what "script kiddie" means.

>prof I don't deserve a zero on this exam
>I agree, but it's the lowest grade I can give

>prof draws [math]K_5[/math] on the blackboard

>>9791114
This would be great

>>9790315
They are mostly correct

>>9782412
>she
no shit

>>9790315
In all 200 and lower classes, this would describe 90% of the class.

>>9789540
>physics I
Well, that is middle school tier shit, so he was correct in doing so.

>prof dies during lecture

>>9780452
did you have Morrison?

>>9784218
You could say this about mechanical and electrical engineers and you'd be just as fucking correct.

>>9782016
>prof intentionally uses words like fucker, cunt, garbage, shit, idiot, player, asshole, kid, dude, etc. to describe various mathematical objects and their properties.

He was a pretty good teacher to be honest.

>>9792051
I hate when that happens

>>9783509
Ognisko, idioto

>>9791744
there's politics, and then there's being objectively right.

> Prof shills for free software

>>9782493

> prof tells joke
> nobody actually gets it is a joke
> prof awkwardly being the only one laughing

I had a guy like that lecture. He was also very boring and couldn't hold a presentation at all so only like 10 people out of the 100 would show up for his lectures.

>Prof forgets his class and shows up 20 min late

>>9787246
Mine to.

>>9783509
based

>>9792538
>prof then spends the next 20 minutes apologizing and telling us why he was late

>advisor's face when makes a sexual comment about a female colleague

>>9792538
>Prof FUCKING DIES and the diff eqs exam starts late

>anon I would grant you a negative grade but they dont really believe in that these days, last time I did it I got into a lot of trouble with the department.

>>9792862
toppest kek

>>9792862
lmmmao

>professor personally congratulates everyone who gets an A on the exam and asks the class to applause
>people stop clapping for me by third exam when they find out I'm a math senior in an intro econ class

>>9781862
Hahahaha i really like this picture, mind if i save it?

>>9791724
>students in differential equations class haven't even heard of euler's formula before
What kind of retard school do you go to?

>>9792538
Happened on a regular base with one prof. One time, he was that into the topic, that he told us 30 mins into the next lecture about the newest gen of optical sensors.
He was quiet mad that we didn't stop him, but no one in class had another lecture, so it was only the prof, who missed his own lecture

>>9781869
>Teacher doesn't realize that your anxiety during the presentation is because you carried the group work all by yourself and don't trust any of your colleagues to do a good job

>>9793010
Prof did this on my last math final and it was so goddamn akward.

>>9781866
i changed school because of a professor who bullied me.

>>9779961
I giggled and I'm not proud of that

>>9789553
>faggot
Why the homophobia?

>>9793024
Well, two things:
1. I'm talking about the very first differential equations class anyone would ever take. In the same way a Calc 3 class might start with a review on vectors and an expansion into planes and ordered triples, he was introducing it for the first time in that class; not a single person knowing it beforehand was not necessarily the case.
2. When did you personally formally learn Euler's formula? I was pleasantly surprised to see it on my class' syllabus, but I also thought to myself, "If not for this class, when?" I can see it easily being taught in Calc 2, even as a small footnote in the grand scheme of things, but I suppose the course just doesn't concern itself with it overall nor the professor (Rutgers).

>>9791114
la creatura

>>9790472
KEK

>prof tells you to get a major in something else

>>9793212
Lmao

>prof tells you to eat shit
>>9793253
A prof told me this in my first semester. He's actually pretty cool but is a fucking bully to freshmen.

>>9786497
holy shit

>>9784096
this
had a female professor. god i would've fucked the shit out of her if given the chance. bitch was thiccc too.

>>9782452
>Stop sucking up to him immediately after taking the final, which he hasn’t graded yet
At least follow through, man

>>9793245
>If not for this class, when?
well if it's not diffyq's it's linear algebra, and if it's not linear algebra it's complex analysis

>>9793245
He's just being pretentious because he looked it up randomly at some point on wikipedia and just by sheer luck was aware of it before differential. It's the same as some assface saying "What, people in your geography class haven't heard of Ulaanbaatar?"

>>9791114
Professor Gordon?

>>9784096
I know this feel. We have the cutest professor. Very young too, or at least she looks it. Blonde hair with bangs, thin, always wears nice looking but modest clothing, a lot of dresses. The sweetest voice, a little bit shy. Hnnnnngg.

>mfw I'll never get to touch her and eat her out and be her first experience with another girl

>>9784096
Same but it was a man crush because he was such a cool dude.
Male math teachers are the best.

>>9793897
We used it in calc 2 to prove a few trig identities and stuff, now that I think about it my teacher was probably just weird.

>>9785299
If I took that coefficient off, would you die?

>>9795197
It would be extremely painful.

>prof sends an email the train is late so his 11 AM class will be canceled
>decide to go to the diner next door with some friends
>hes there drinking beer at 11 AM

>>9779890
>40 year old physics school teacher starts explaining to 7th graders how Einstein is a hack and his theory of relativity is bullshit

>>9781869
>performance anxiety
Is this really a thing or just a /sci/ meme?

>professor shows actual, uncensored 3d loli hentai in class as part of a lecture.

>>9779979
>need to attend a science seminar series senior year
>Drumpf BTFO every day by scientists from across the country

>go to class
>professor is out
>middle aged british professor subs in for today
>as soon as he starts talking in his thick accent hear "he cute" from a bunch of the girls

>>9796746
I had the same prof for psych, she only showed us 2D loli my year

>>9787246
>social psych prof
>lectures the class on very liberal things and demands people take subjective opinions as truth as long as they're progressive
>then gets very upset about having to say "right-wing authoritarianism"

>>9796503
Yeah, it's a thing. I'm not sure why you would doubt that making people do a stressful task could cause anxiety.

>>9796462
You're a big guy

>professor pauses before every step of a proof waiting for the class to answer some simple multiplication
>students don't say anything because of a combonation of being a waste of breath and if they screw up elementary school math their egos will pop

>visit professor after finals to see if the curve saved you from needing to repeat the class
>get your D curved to a C-
>be beyond excited
>professor extremely disappointed in your glee

>>9782838
>Try to shake professor's hand after the final
>He pats my head and tells me i'm a good student

>>9794404
Fucking true

>>9787928
Le epic chad maymay XD

>>9781639
>prof lets their autism take over and spends 15 minutes getting all the normalized eigen vectors
>in an English class

>>9779890
>Prof comes onto 4chan to look up important science info and looks at thread, but doesn't know how to greentext. So then, they go and make a rant about how professors aren't all that bad. But he realizes how stupid that would look, so he tries to pretend to be self-aware but fails miserably and cries.

>>9780537
he's not a tripfag hes a namefag

>>9797718
shutup dubbeddubsfag

>>9797715
Well... that was self-deprecating
I think

>>9779961
>chem teacher in hs would always write a joke on the board
>everyday it would change
>95% of the time it would revolve around an elements symbol.
>saw him googling them once.
The days we had subs were a breath of fresh air.

>>9797281
>TA accidentally puts answer to a yes/no question right next to the question on the slide
>asks question
>nobody answers since they would feel stupid for just reading off the answer
>"apparently nobody is paying attention, the answer is right there"

>>9781639
God fucking dammit I hate when this happens.
>Professor thinks he should be able to prove something from memory alone or "figure it out" cause he's experienced (he really should)
>Spends like 45 minutes stumbling on it and thinking about what the fuck to say
>My time is being wasted listening to some fool too proud to look at his own goddamn notes or the textbook in front of him for help

>prof rants for 20 minutes about students not asking permission to record audio for a lecture because they haven't consented the prof yet

>every single lecture with this prof

>>9786497
Why is this destroying my sides? It's so silly.

>>9785495
Because they paid for the degree.
Universities sell credentials, not education.