/sci/ - Science & Math

I know you'll be here reading this.

Answer this question honestly:

If someone took away all the parts of you that are not associated with
>a kind of media I like
>someone elses opinion
>everything about me that feels contrived
>wishing I was better / more successful like other people

would there be enough things left to recognize you?
How short is the list of other people who recognize you?
Does it scare you that you know how short that list is?

You're smart enough to know you're pathetic and that's why it's so bad.
>if that's true then why doesn't that make it better

Because that's only the first wall. You might've toyed with the idea that you're pathetic but you've never been able to pin down quite why. Maybe it's because you're not. OR maybe it's because you're so fucking afraid to admit that - to yourself of all people - that you're more willing to wallow in mediocrity then actually attempt to pursue something and overcome your problems.

ADMIT that you'd rather look like someone who is good at math and physics than BE someone who is ACTUALLY GOOD at math an physics. It's just TOO FUCKING EASY to half understand something and then shove all the buzzwords into a couple sentences and tell undergrads to get fucked than it is to fucking DO YOUR WORK because you're afraid of trying too hard and still not getting what you want.

Last wall: If you can't decide to learn anything because you LIKE to and not just because you
>really want to be a guy who knows things
>a real smart guy
>who never actually had my IQ tested and is never going to bother because of the possibility that the results may be devastating
then
YOU HAVE TO QUIT AND MOVE ON
FUCK