/sci/ - Science & Math

>be me
>always sucked at math and physics
>honestly don't even know how I managed to get through high school
>I decide to enter engineering college
>the only reason I did it was because all my friends were also doing it
>realize math and physics is the core of engineering
>spend 5 years of my life in engineering college
>didn't even finish calculus and physics
>finally decided to quit
>mfw I wasted 5 years of my life
>mfw I forgot everything I learned in highschool and now I wont pass another college entry exam
>mfw I think about suicide every single day

>>10768742
Otro día sin haber nacido en Guadalajara o Monterrey

>TFW 24 years old with no highschool diploma in Canada
>Trying to desperately do online courses to earn my diploma
>Too fucking brainlet to stay focused and understand material teenagers learn

Am I just dumb or are kids getting smarter and smarter these days? What can i do to learn better? Why is it so hard for me I don't want to be a stupid brainlet anymore

>tfw literally doing a fucking prealgebra textbook for children so I can better understand Morris Kline's History of Mathematics and learn math historically from the Greeks onward
>tfw I'm hoisting myself by the ballbag and hurtling straight into calculus whether I like it or not
>tfw from there I'm going on to college math and theoretical math at as reasonable a pace I can manage
>tfw I will get all my math knowledge back and have fun being a math knowing guy or I will die trying

NO MORE FUCKING AROUND

I have realized that I am a brainlet when I was in the middle schools, fully recognized it in HS.

Became a NEET after HS grad, but due to pressure from the environment I went to college/uni anyways, dropped out 3 times.
Now I am a NEET again, have been one for over a decade.
I am 32 years old.

It looked like back in school all the kids in elementary school were dumb fucks, I felt ahead of them but they slowly catched up and easily outgrow me (not only mentally), while I was stuck.
I waited for my mental boost but it never came.

Wanting to kill yourself because no gf? why?

>average distance between stars is 5 light years
>You have to wait for AT LEAST 5 YEARS to even send a message to a neighboring star system, provided your traveled at 0.99c

It's fucking bullshit and is cucking humanity from being a truly interstellar species

I can't warp my head around the subject.
I become hopeless, feel physical weakness and have to curl up on my bed.
On the other hand other mathematical subjects feel mindless doodling.