/sci/ - Science & Math

The image attached is of my psychological "specs." I struggle with doing basic shit like schoolwork (which typically is quite easy to finish once I get started; starting the assignment is the hard part) or maintaining normal levels of hygiene (unless I'm on a sizable dose of Adderall, prescribed to me even though testing has confirmed that I don't have ADHD). My motivation is severely impacted by my frequent depressive and suicidal episodes stemming from people treating me like an idiot and prominently laughing in groups when I talk, implying that they think I'm too stupid to tell I'm being laughed at (this has been happening since I was 11 years old). Family members, psychiatrists, and psychologists insist that there's nothing wrong with the way I talk, and I don't know who to turn to if I'm not going to be believed by the main groups of people who are supposed to support me.

So I've been wanting to know what the cause of my lack of success in life is--the autism itself or the depression stemming from it? My psychological report also said that my level of depression was 3.2 standard deviations above the average, so only about 1 in 700 people is at least as depressed as I am. Whether my troubles are caused by autism or by depression is very important to me because depression usually has a much higher level of treatability than autism, and I wanna know whether my future is hopeless or not. This isn't a comprehensive summary of my life, so feel free to ask me additional questions.