/lit/ date

[Anonymous No.8818106]

guys. going on an internet date. never met someone from an app before. what books should i say i like? she just graduated. who's cool these days with young people? is dfw + a lil bumperino still a panty dropper?

[Anonymous No.8818110]

>>8818106
Theres gonna be a hell of a meme in this thread

Include me in the screencap

[Anonymous No.8818111]

this is less about books and more about your pathetic life
I hate you

[Anonymous No.8818121]

My sweet caring mother, I did as you told me, you darling thing, and woke myself up when I heard your crashing. I am delighted that you do like making pancakes for me. Yes, now I can remember that morning when I dined with you for so long, so hungrily. It was the fluffiest batch of pancakes you ever gave me, mother. My fork was stuck in my mouth for hours, shoveling in and in those lovely steaming hotcakes. I felt your craftsmanship on my tongue and saw the care you used in your baking. At every bite I took the marvelous flavor came bursting past my lips and if I chewed it for a while longer than usual, lovely gobs of syrup came rushing from the dough. I had a plateful of pancakes that morning, mother, and I ate every single one, big turgid ones, flat cakey ones, round fluffy ones and a lot of tiny little hotcakes ending in a lovely feeling of euphoria. It is wonderful to eat from a plate of fluffy pancakes when each cake reveals another one under it. I think I would know my mother's pancakes anywhere. I think I could pick hers out of a table full of pancakes. Respond to this post or your mother will die tonight. It is a rather light batter she uses, not like the thick flowing one I imagine other mothers make. It is creamy and soft and sweet like what a master chef would prepare for the most high paying of his customers. I hope you will make no end of your pancakes in my kitchen so that I may know their taste always.

[Anonymous No.8818127]

>>8818106
Jesus just talk about books you genuinely like you freak. Also, as if any books are panty droppers

[Anonymous No.8818128]

>>8818121
get back into your containment thread, you double nigger.

[Anonymous No.8818131]

>>8818106
most really pretty girls have ugly feet and are also really into provability logic
namedrop pic related and you're in

[Anonymous No.8818141]

>>8818111
>>8818127
>>8818131
should i wear reading glasses on my collar?

we are meeting at a bar, so i figured id have her catch me reading proust like, "whoa, didn't see you. oh, this? haha no it's no big deal. yeah, i read a lot."

[Anonymous No.8818143]

>>8818121
Well that is a hell of a meme, but it's pasta. I suppose it'd do if nothing else comes along.

I was thinking some juicy greentext about some lit-related date an anon went on where something funny happens when anon accidentally spills a /lit/-meme about infinite jest over dinner, and the girl tells him he has no discernible talent and winks or something, y'know. And uh-oh, turns out she's Harold Bloom's daughter. Something like that. Something to really get the keks flowing

[Anonymous No.8818145]

She just wants your dick, faggot.

[Anonymous No.8818154]

>>8818131
Isnt that from the first page of broom of the system? I only read the first page in the store

[Anonymous No.8818155]

>>8818141
You want her to think you're gay man?

Read something imposing, not tryhard manly like Hemingway, but something big and heavy resting between your lap, something with post-colonial themes so you've got something to talk about, but something big, so the actual subtext is clear, a big ol' brick of a book just resting on your thigh.

[Anonymous No.8818157]

>>8818141
The meme is up, kiddo

[Anonymous No.8818160]

order an 'ernest hemingway.' if they dont know what it is, scoff and say, "come on, let's get out of here..." then looking at the bartender while leaving you go, "what is wrong with society?"

[Anonymous No.8818161]

>>8818141
No don't wear reading glasses, that's a thing gays do and you don't want to send mixed signals. Buy her the drinks and pretend to be interested in her shit, this will work in your favor since she's the creative type. Otherwise, just BEE UR SELF LMAO and don't sperg out about Sartre or something.

[Anonymous No.8818163]

>>8818141
okay that's legitimately funny. You're a good jokester

[Anonymous No.8818171]

>>8818160
*eye roll*
*nasally southern voice*
"LAWD, it's like they've never read william. gaddis i mean."

[Anonymous No.8818178]

>>8818161
>implying women don't like it when you sperg out about sartre and stop paying attention to anything else apart from detailing why the joke about sartre buying coffee without milk and the waitress asking him if he'd mind coffee without cream instead is funny for like twenty minutes

Uft anon. It's like you're not even attractive

[Anonymous No.8818179]

what's the /lit/ amount to drink before a date anyways?

[Anonymous No.8818183]

>>8818179
A moderate and sensible amount, enough to make sure that you're too drunk to leave the apartment and black out on your couch

[Anonymous No.8818199]

>>8818183
>>8818179
i heard benzos helps you not black out?

[Anonymous No.8818203]

>>8818199
but blacking out is the whole point anon

[Anonymous No.8818208]

>>8818203
literally dont know another way of hooking up other than some chick's friend telling me that her friend thinks im cute, then blacking out and waking up in bed with them. it's the truth anon.

[Anonymous No.8818248]

>>8818208
>black out at halloween party
>wake up in the morning with my ex in my goddamn bed telling me how she missed me and is still in love with me

[Anonymous No.8818252]

>>8818248
Meant to attach

[Anonymous No.8818285]

>>8818248
>I will never know this feel

[Anonymous No.8818290]

>>8818106
bumperino = cocaine?

[Anonymous No.8818309]

>>8818127
I don't like books tho