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/lit/ - Literature

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7856825 No.7856825 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: Books men will never understand

I'll start.

>> No.7856832

>Austen
I dislike this postmodern universe where my vagina is now male.

>> No.7856882

>>7856825
and we're all the better for it I guess

>> No.7856883

apron, simply apron mein freund

>> No.7856942

>>7856825

Regarding Austen, Pride and Prejudice was made infinitely better with the addition of zombies.

>> No.7856945

I've only attempted to read one Austen novel and it was Persuasion. It was so cold and mechanical, I couldn't fucking stand it there was an immense lack of passion, like the characters weren't even human beings. Is this just something you have to deal with in her writing or was this only Persuasion?

>> No.7856948

>>7856945
>the characters weren't even human beings

This is wrong though.

>> No.7856954

>>7856832

Does that mean that penises are now female?

>> No.7856958

>>7856954
If they like Austen, yes; otherwise, no.

>> No.7856971

>>7856945

i found persuasion especially bad, but didnt mind p&p too much

the trouble with austen is i find the milieu she writes about incredibly boring

>> No.7857034
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7857034

>“There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.”

Quote a better opening line in literature.

Protip: You can't.

>> No.7857043

>>7857034
ebin epin :DD

>> No.7857051

>>7856825
ITT: women presuppose in the ivory towers of their BA literature seminars that men don't know how to read

>> No.7857073
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7857073

>> No.7857077
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7857077

>> No.7857100
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7857100

>>7857051
>he doesn't get the meme

>> No.7857185

I honestly don't think there is s gender dichotomy in literary fiction.
But genre fic is very gendered; what woman wants to read Andy Mcnab or man read the devil wears prada?

>> No.7857194
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7857194

>> No.7857196

Anna Karenina

>> No.7857198

>>7857185
A (shitty) band consisting entirely of men named their band after the book, so I assume at least some men read it

>> No.7857205
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7857205

>> No.7857215

>>7857194
Isn't this just a case of women refusing understand female incontinence?

>> No.7857226

>>7857215
>asks the virgin

>> No.7857266
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7857266

>> No.7857284

So I am a male and I was thinking about starting to read Janr Austen, but I'm worried that it would make me a fucking faggot. What do you guys think? Can I read her work and still maintain my dignity?

>> No.7857294

>>7857284
'Dignity' is a spook, you are free to do whatever you want.

>> No.7857298

>>7857284

she's canon you fucking dweeb

>> No.7857305

>>7856954
feminine dick????

>> No.7857308

>>7856825
People of both genders misunderstand Austen so much it makes me sad.

>> No.7857313

>>7857185
Devil Wears Prada is pretty good actually.

>> No.7857315

>>7857284
no, you'll want to tie a pink ribbon on your dick and dance around in lace panties

>> No.7857334

>>7857294
I know I'm just afraid it will turn me gay and I really don't want to go to hell

>> No.7857506

>>7857051
It's a meme, grandpa.

>> No.7857521

>>7857215
It's not piss, it's the lubricating fluids released by glands located between the vagina and urethra as far as I know.

>> No.7857535

>>7857034
>“OY FUCKING CUM SWAPPER”

>> No.7857539

>>7857034
This book is fucking garbage.

>> No.7857540

>>7857521
Either way I like to drink it.

>> No.7857541
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7857541

all of them

>> No.7857544

>>7857034
Mom died. Call me Ishmael. Love of my life.

>> No.7857636

>>7856958

B-but I want to live in a world where my female penis will be enveloped by all those dominant sex hungry vaginas

>> No.7857647

>>7856942
reddit is down the hall and to the left

>> No.7857652

>>7857185
my mum reads a lot of andy mcnab

>> No.7857656

>>7857334
>I know I'm just afraid it will turn me gay and I really don't want to go to hell

wat

>> No.7857659

>>7857284

If reading a book is all it will take to make you consider the same sex then I have some possible bad news for you anon...

>> No.7857684

>>7857544
If a book opened using all three of those quotes in any order, I'd read it.

>> No.7857698
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7857698

>> No.7857705

>>7857636
Wait, is that Austen? I need to read her stuff then asap.

>> No.7858895

>>7857334
>I'm just afraid it will turn me gay
Don't worry anon, you're already a weakling faggot

>> No.7858903

>>7856942
>women will never understand it's fucking satire and isn't supposed to be a OG Harlequin Romance novel
On a side note, the best spinoff is clearly the Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman series.

>> No.7858907

>>7858903
oops, meant to respond to the OP
*an OG

>> No.7858909

>>7857051
It's a meme you dip.

>> No.7858996

>>7857034

None of them knew the color of the sky.

>> No.7859023

>>7856825

That's fine darling, as long as you show me your boobies.

>> No.7859528

>>7857034
Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

>> No.7859533

>>7857284
Your masculinity is that fragile, anon?

>> No.7859546

>>7856945
i've read her ouvre (some multiple times) and it's my least favourite

mansfield park > sense and sensbility > emma > northanger abbey > pride and prejudice > persuasion

northanger abbey is the funniest, though mansfield park contains an overt gay sex joke.

but then i'm male so i probably didn't understand any of them

>> No.7859547

>>7859528
Don't try so hard, anon. That's not welcome here.

>> No.7859550

>>7857284
nabokov said she was 'great'
also she basically invented modern literature so there's that.

>> No.7859560

>>7857636
isn't that Dracula?

>> No.7859801

>>7857226
>replies the porn addict

>>7857215
>>7857521
Sort of. Female ejaculation is goopy, generally. Thick and there's not too much of it. "Squirting," as it's depicted in porn, is just piss. That's why if you watch HD squirting videos, themselves obviously rare, you can see the yellow pretty damn clearly. Source: I used to clean up on porn sets after shoots.

>> No.7859852

>>7859801
Does it need be goopy? I know I've had a moment like that where I thought I had pissed myself but it smelled nothing like piss and I had previously eaten asparagus, so actual piss would have reeked.

>> No.7859853

>>7859852
Let me smell it and I'll let you know.

>> No.7859857

>>7857205
>pedo

>> No.7859869
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7859869

>>7859853
Sent ;)

>> No.7859872
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7859872

>>7859869
My mouth's watering in anticipation.

>> No.7859881

>>7857194
>picking that model with her belly button
who approved this shit

>> No.7859891
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7859891

>> No.7859906

>>7859872

I thought that book looked familiar. . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRC2UH9X27Y

>> No.7859911
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7859911

>> No.7859925

>>7859906
I'm trying so hard not to masturbate today, why are you doing this to me?

>> No.7859970

>>7857034

Among my least favourite novels. Literally everything that is wrong with the Victorian era, served up in an unappetisingly parochial smorgasbord of internalised chauvinism, manners and melodrama.

Everything that Eliot and Austen skewered, worst Bronte lionises senselessly.

>> No.7860073

>>7856825
What was even the point of Mrs. Dalloway?

>> No.7860161

>>7859801
>I used to clean up on porn sets after shoots.

Disgusting. How much does that pay?

>> No.7860549
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7860549

>>7857077
kek

>> No.7860589

>>7857698
Only females can understand the depth of emotion in this masterpiece.

>> No.7860768

>>7856825
/lit/ is capable of some really very biting satire.

This thread is not an example.

>> No.7860802

>>7857034
See the child.

>> No.7860807

>>7859801
but piss is clear like water

>> No.7860815

>>7857205
This is honestly the most incomprehensible book for a man.

>if we state right and wrong too firmly we rob people, and later generations of the right to participate in deciding what is right and wrong...

This is the most female sentiment I've ever come across. Rad-fem shit is always base and retard teir. Bouvier really shows how vast the chasm between men and woman really is.

>> No.7860825

>>7860815
>This is the most female sentiment I've ever come across
m8 it goes so much deeper than de Beauvoir.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethics_of_care

>> No.7860851

>>7860815
holy shit, people like this garbage?

>> No.7860899
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7860899

>>7860815
>he still believes in right and wrong
>he believes with enough mental gymnastics and rhetorics he will unlock the access to right and wrong
>he believes he, and only he, just happened to come across the definition of right and wrong just here and there at this very moment in time
>he believes the definition of right and wrong he came up with will forever be true and valuable until the end of all humanity
Stop smearing your shit everywhere, monkey boy, and eat your damn bananas.

>> No.7861138

>>7857636

Goddamn, I honestly don't need to fap everytime I come to this site

>> No.7861804

all of them l o l

>> No.7861925

>>7857034
>It is a truth universally acknowledged...

>> No.7861963

>>7856825
Seeing the books that women identify with makes me want to switch from bisexual to gay.

>> No.7862498

>>7856945
I disliked Persuasion the first time I attempted to read it, but I gave it another shot years later and it was okay. The only other Austen book I've ever read was Pride and Prejudice and the characters in that story seemed much more human. It's actually one of my favorite books. There's probably a reason why it's the most famous work she's known for among plebs.

>> No.7862657

>>7860899
Your reading comprehension is shit familia

>> No.7862673

>>7861804
The world around you was created by men.

>> No.7862674

>>7859970
>internalised chauvinism
Please kill yourself, there is literally nothing wrong with being a chauvinism. If you're against it, it's probably because you're either a beta cuck or a woman who, like all women, doesn't have a fucking clue as to what she wants in life.
>tfw being a chauvinist pig helped me find the love of my life

>> No.7862683

>>7862674
*with chauvinism

>> No.7862755

>>7857521
I can taste the urea when women squirt in my face, it's clearly fucking piss

>> No.7862775

>>7857196
>novel where the two most sympathetic characters are a womanizer and a turbo-autist

>> No.7862778

>>7857034
>>7856825
>had to read both of these in college
They were so BORING

Holy SHIT. I died inside reading these pieces of fucking garbage.

>> No.7862920

>>7862778
Same bruh, one of the women compared it to being the "hunger games of its time since everyone was reading shakespeare". I fucking died inside

I'm still dead

>> No.7863024

>>7856945
She didn't have time to look back on her writing before she died.

>> No.7863043

>>7862778
>reading for plot
>reading for enjoyment

sure is reddit in here

>> No.7863354

>>7862778

>not liking Emma

confirmed dead inside

>> No.7863927
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7863927