/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.7027966]

>"It's not between you and me, Helene", said Pierre. "It's between War and Peace."

Seriously, Tolstoy? What a hack.

[Anonymous No.7027981]

can you stop shitposting

[Anonymous No.7027997]

>Alyosha, Dmitri and Ivan's dying body held hands and said "We will always be The Brothers Karamazov"

I had faith in you, Fedora Dostoyevsky

[Anonymous No.7027998]

>"Wow now I know why they call you the Great Gatsby"

What the fuck Fitzgerald?

[Anonymous No.7028019]

>/lit/ was a mistake

for real tho moot, for real

[Anonymous No.7028027]

>Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, you know. A fellow of Infinite Jest
Look at yourself in the mirror, Wallace Shakespeare

[Anonymous No.7028029]

>Oedipa settled back, to await the Crying of Lot 49.
Come on Thomas, is this a joke?

[Anonymous No.7028071]

>Satoko's unearthly could be compared only to spring snow.

Really 'shima?

[Anonymous No.7028083]

>And Jesus spoke to them: After all these, years, finally, I became the new testament

Jesus Christ, really?

[Anonymous No.7028088]

"Whose dick is that?"
"That's Moby's Dick."
"Oh."
Smellville strikes again.

[Anonymous No.7028089]

>>7028083
top kék

[Anonymous No.7028109]

>>7028029
>mfw it's real

[Anonymous No.7028248]

>Upon the half decayed veranda of a small frame house that stood near the edge of a ravine near the town of Winesburg, Ohio, a fat little old man walked nervously up and down.
H A C K
A
C
K

[Anonymous No.7028254]

>>7027966
>And that's when I knew I was Catcher in the Rye

what the fuck ?

[Anonymous No.7028258]

>>7028083

[Anonymous No.7028291]

>"Και αυτή είναι", said Henry, drawing deeply on his cigarette,"η Μυστιkή Ιστορία"
Fucking hack.

[Anonymous No.7028301]

>>7027966
>Well won't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?
>Fuck the police coming straight from notes from the underground

Jesus Christ, really?

[Anonymous No.7028305]

>>7028301
8/10 cause you didn't include the name of the author

[Anonymous No.7028307]

>What Kurtz took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of harlequins, failed managers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of Colonialism: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - can avoid the Heart of Darkness.”

Really Conrad?

[Anonymous No.7028397]

>With the coming of Dean Moriarty began the part of my life you could call my life on the road

Really Kerouac?

[Anonymous No.7028526]

>>7028307
I googled it because I mistook it for genuine, and now I can't help but read it Johnny Depp's voice.

[Anonymous No.7028535]

>Made nigger snowmen, burned the Lord's Words
>Then stole my father's gun to Kill a Mockingbird
How is this literature? Really, Lee?

[Anonymous No.7028543]

>>7028254
There is an actual line that does it in this case:

>That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all

[Anonymous No.7028563]

>And with that , my friends, concludes the days on which we were trully Waiting for Godot

Wow, just wow

[Anonymous No.7028565]

>>7028027
Lol.

[Anonymous No.7028583]

>I can't see where I'm going. I am a Soldier in the Mist.
Really Latro?

[Anonymous No.7028598]

>Thus spoke Zarathustra

Nietzsche, you fraud

[Anonymous No.7028616]

>>7028535
but they actually say "to kill a mockingbird"

[Anonymous No.7028646]

>>7028563
Fuck I laughed, but only because it reminded me of
>ET LA CANTATRICE CHAUVE?

[Anonymous No.7028683]

And in that moment, we were truly the Rashomon and Seventeen Other Stories.

akutagawa is a HACK

[Anonymous No.7028832]

>>7028083
kekaroo

[Anonymous No.7028897]

>"Christians are dumb. They are truly living The God Delusion"

Fucking atheists

[Anonymous No.7028976]

>>7027998
>You're a big Gatsby
>For you

Really ? Jesus Christ

[Anonymous No.7028980]

>>7028019
>moot
who?

[Anonymous No.7029003]

>>7028683
oh man I remember this part, I burned the book immediately after reading that line. the library was pissed.

[Anonymous No.7029006]

>>7029003

[Anonymous No.7029019]

>In the early years of this century, such a linen-weaver, named Silas Marner, worked at his vocation in a stone cottage that stood among the nutty hedgerows near the village of Raveloe, and not far from the edge of a deserted stone-pit.

More like George Smelly-it.

[Anonymous No.7029027]

>Enter HAMLET

And we call this man the Bard?

[Anonymous No.7029030]

>Lennie, you can't go pettin' the girls dress like one of your rats, you needa remembah the difference Of Mice and Men.

Fuck you Steinbeck.

[Anonymous No.7029042]

>In small clumsy letters he wrote:
>April 4th, 1984

George Snorewell strikes again.

[Anonymous No.7029063]

>>7027966
>You're gonna laugh but I gotta say it anyway. It's kind of stupid, in a sad kind of way. It's just when I looked down at that damn pastrami sandwich, and saw the face of Yogi Berra looking back at me, I realized that I had finally found the Catcher in the Rye. Isn't that the saddest, stupidest story you ever heard? What a riot.

[Anonymous No.7029084]

>>7028563
Beckett does write

>Vlad: We are happy.
>Gogo: We are happy...what do we do now that we are happy?
>Vlad: Wait for Godot

Which I love because its probably the most devastating piece of dialogue in the play

[Anonymous No.7029085]

>No one would have believed, that in the last years of the 19th century, that a War Of The Worlds would be waged.

fucking Wells.

[Anonymous No.7029094]

>>7029027
>sensiblechuckle.gif

[Anonymous No.7029099]

>The aliens came and left leaving us the zone, but maybe, just maybe...we are the ones who created this roadside picnic....

Holy shit, no wonder they won the Order of Lenin!

[Anonymous No.7029103]

>>7028543
eh, not as funny

[Anonymous No.7029119]

>Anna Karinina you trecharous whore!

Fucking triggered. Why is this slut shaming shitlord still popular?

[Anonymous No.7029122]

>>7029103
this >>7029063 is better

[Anonymous No.7029126]

>The Buddha replied, "This sutra should be called The Diamond that Cuts through Illusion because it has the capacity to cut through all illusions and afflictions"
And I thought this hack attained nirvana.

[Anonymous No.7029132]

>And Thus Spoke Zarathustra: "God is dead!"

fucking really now???

[Anonymous No.7029138]

>Stick it in my big black hole Jayqyawn!

What the fuck Burns, I thought this was about aids

[Anonymous No.7029145]

>You know, it just now occurs to me that my day of wandering is quite similar to the voyage of Ulysses

You just had to ruin it at the end, didn't you, Joyce?

[Anonymous No.7029151]

—Stephen, his father intoned. What in God's name is this?

—This is Art, father. I am going to paint A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

Jesus Christ, Joyce, it's all toilet sounds.

[Anonymous No.7029171]

>>7029145
>Welcome, O life! I go to encounter for the millionth time the reality of experience and to forge in the smithy of my soul a portrait of the artist as a young man.

He does this with all his fucking books.

[Anonymous No.7029176]

>>7029151
>Chamber Music

Really Joyce?

[Anonymous No.7029186]

>>7029151
>"What is the Latin name for Odysseus again?" asked Stephen while walking down Dublin road, in Dublin.
>[this part is a play] Buck: I can't quite recall... [here it stops being a play]" responded Buck.
>He looked very Irish, and they were in Dublin.
>"Oh, I remember now!" said Buck suddenly.
>"The Latin name is "ULYSSES"!", he shouted, just like this character only people that grew up in late 19th century Ireland could know sometimes would.
>"It's a reference!"

This is what I spend two years of my life studying a guide on how to make it through this book and why I bought the reading companion and listened to every single episode of the podcast analyzing every single line of this book?

What the fuck, Joyce??

[Anonymous No.7029204]

>>7029186
>[this part is a play]
>[here it stops being a play]

lellin' my arse off

[Anonymous No.7029206]

>>7029186
my sides!

[Anonymous No.7029223]

>>7029145
>>7029151
>>7029186
>--It is only now I realize, said Gabriel Conroy, looking out into the softly falling snow, that we are all of us just Dubliners, and soon we will be The Dead.

Jesus Christ Joyce, TWO IN ONE SENTENCE?

[Anonymous No.7029240]

>Mersault violently grabbed the chaplain by his shoulders. "Do you know what all this time in prison has forced me to do? I've spent all of the past few days masturbating. I lie on my arm until it feels as numb and detached as I am. I call it The Stranger."

What a stupid ending, Campoo

[Anonymous No.7029257]

>"Naked, wet and alone we fight!" said Bonzo. Little did he know, naked and wet with boys was Ender's game.

Is OSC for real?

[Anonymous No.7029631]

>>7029240
heheh

[Anonymous No.7030244]

>>7029027

[Anonymous No.7030354]

>So Josef K sat, awaiting... The Trial.

[Anonymous No.7030372]

>>7027966
>Walking up to the helicopter, cane in hand he said smiling, "Welcome, to Jurassic Park!"
Really?

[Anonymous No.7030379]

That was how the vassal lords came to play the Game of Thrones.

[Anonymous No.7030383]

And the realm trembled at that mighty Clash of Kings. . .

Fucking goober Martin

[Anonymous No.7030389]

The sky quaked loose that awful Storm. . . The Storm of Swords.

[Anonymous No.7030395]

"What remains of the Riverlands, Davos?"

"Why, y'grace, only the bones and birds. 'Tis a Feast for Crows."

Way to layer it on thick ketchup-bun master

[Anonymous No.7030404]

Something was off. Jaime drew in a breath as the dawnlight broke over the mountains, and the source of that horrendous squalling became clear.

Never had a man laid eyes on such Dance with Dragons since the days of Argon the conqueror.

Fucking
Dropped

[Anonymous No.7030405]

First time being on /lit/. What the fuck is going on.

[Anonymous No.7030414]

Bran shivered in his direwolf-skin booties. There was no one to drag him around anymore. No wolf to ride, no Hodor to bat about the ears sternly if he scraped his passenger against a rough tree branch. The Winds of Winter tore right through him.

[Anonymous No.7030418]

>>7030414
Give leak plz

[Anonymous No.7030423]

>>7029240
kek

[Anonymous No.7030426]

And the trees sighed in that late-winter sun, like hirsute fingers stretching out in a welcome warmth. The sun was false, and the day still cold, but not as bitterly as before. And the men and myr alike slept under hovels and snowdrifts, A Dream of Spring uniting their minds.

10/10 cheezburgers, Bravo cousine Martin!

[Anonymous No.7030436]

>"And that's when I realized I was The Life and Times of Hunter S Thompson."

k

[Anonymous No.7030443]

>>7028027
Nice one.

[Anonymous No.7030444]

"May I present: The Count of Monte Cristo!"

BRAVO DUMAS

[Anonymous No.7031025]

>Cant you see it, bitch!? We are the Catch-22!
Holy shit, Joseph

[Anonymous No.7031028]

>April is the cruelest month, breeding
>...The Waste Land.


Fuck you too Eliot

[Anonymous No.7031039]

>We did it Hal, we finally became Infinite Jesters

I know hes a meme author but this is really too far

[Anonymous No.7032331]

>this starship is equiped with an impenetrable anti-material barrier called "Luzhin's Defence" which was invented by Dr. Cornelius Luzihn
god bless, corn father

[Anonymous No.7032338]

>>7027966
roll credits

[Anonymous No.7032359]

>"Looks like I've become the Catcher in the Rye!" said Holden, as he pulled out of his sister, Phoebe.

BRAVO SALINGER

[Anonymous No.7032402]

>"LoLiTa" read the cream-colored sign as they entered this hush-hush red-lights-district maid cafe Sakoto was raving of when we talked about visiting "bad houses" last night
Vladimir, you weaboo bastard

[Anonymous No.7032411]

>>7028083
Ayy lemao

[Anonymous No.7032416]

>"This is a crisis of truly Biblical proportions!" exclaimed Noah over the din of crashing waves

mein Gott!

[Anonymous No.7032421]

>"wow Jack you really are a Big Sur"

Kerouac you fucking hack

[Anonymous No.7032426]

>And now as I depart this Urth my book of the new sun concludes

[Anonymous No.7032448]

>you heard this? Rudolph had his penis circumcised after reading the Torah
>wow, reading this "Torah" is surely like an invitation to a beheading, huh?
nabokov - what's wrong with this hack?

[Anonymous No.7032509]

I can't stop, guys.
>after sensating another scorch of a whip on his bare ass Rodya didn't even know anymore whether submitting to her was a crime or a punishment.
>"maybe it was both", he sweetly whispered, welcoming the sound of another sweep

[Anonymous No.7032514]

>Seems like you're always stuck in second geeeaaaaarrrrr

*cringe*

[Anonymous No.7032537]

>Finally Korin, after all these years, you have become War & War! he said to himself as he stepped nervously out of the door, no small triumph as he recounted later that day to the children sat around in a semicircle on the bridge, barely paying attention to his ramblings which could interest no one but himself, but why were they sat there, they couldn't explain what about this nervous madmen compelled them to stay, but they stay there they did, listlessly flicking small pebbles off the bridge onto the tracks as he continued to expound on this revelation, the impact of the truth that he was indeed War & War, and that indeed Isaiah Has Come, he explained, although who Isaiah was no one knew or cared, they only knew that he had come, and this had some relation to the fact that Korin was War & War.
great job Krasznahorkai

[Anonymous No.7032559]

>>7029240

nice, kek'd

[Anonymous No.7032572]

>And then they realized they were no longer little girls, they were little women.
Seriously, Alcott?

[Anonymous No.7032582]

>>7032448
kek

[Anonymous No.7032615]

>'Well Dakota, this is exactly what I warned you about. This is the legacy of totalitarianism in a tundra'

For fuck's sake Anon, you should not be included in the western canon

[Anonymous No.7032716]

"Puck: suppose my dear friends, that it was all A Midsummer Night's Dream"

Bravo Mr. Bard.

[Anonymous No.7032728]

"huh.... I guess we're all just BLEAK HOUSE now"

[Anonymous No.7032729]

>"...come now, morning is almost upon us. " And so ended our journey to the end of the night.

FUCK. YOU. CELINE.

[Anonymous No.7032744]

>this whale we're hunting, the white one, what is his name?
>I call him: Moby Dick; or, OR, "The Whale"

just brilliant

[Anonymous No.7032772]

>Consumerism and pollution are inevitable, we shouldnt let terrorist win us over, let's just go to the theaters and indulge in some mindless Whitenoise of modern entertainment. the'yre showing UNDERWOLRD and I hear Kate upton's ass looks hella nice in leather.

more like Wrong DeLillo.

[Anonymous No.7032786]

>Quit sleeping, Finnegans! Wake up!
Could you stop it just once, Joyce

[Anonymous No.7032803]

[Anonymous No.7032905]

>when you play the game of thrones, you win or you die

Gurm? More like wurm

[Anonymous No.7032924]

>So Jane and Mr. Darcy married, in spite of pride and prejudice
Goddammit Austen

[Anonymous No.7033302]

>>7027966
A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, on the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead, and also on The Dubliners.

Fucking seriously? Stopped reading there.

[Anonymous No.7033318]

>>7030405
How about you crack open a few books pleb? This is a patrician board for the study of vigorous right-wing literature.

[Anonymous No.7033337]

>The first rule of Fight Club is don't talk about Fight Club.

Could you be any less creative, Palahniuk?

[Anonymous No.7033483]

>Well, I guess if you don't have a Master's Degree that you can cry about and give you artistic license to write crappy books with 5,000 footnotes, you could, like, i don't know, Consider the Lobster...?
More like David Foster Wa-
oh wait I already knew he was a shitty hack

[Anonymous No.7033511]

>"Schultz!" exclaimed the little thinker with barely containable excitement.
>"Yes?" said Schultz in a state of glee comparable to Rapture.
>"My work requires closer attention, your commentary is not sufficient, I think there needs to be a filtering process of some kind" whispered the little thinker, his face contorted into the caricacture of intense thought.
>"What did you have in mind my good friend?" replied Schultz, with a nervousness that remained undetected by his autistic companion.
>"What we need is an introduction, a beginning, a strong statement.... a Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysics!"

You Kant be fucking serious!

[Anonymous No.7033514]

>>7032416
absolutely underrated

[Anonymous No.7033524]

>>7032786
>Excuse me fella I'm looking for direction, where abouts do I go for for Tim Finnegan's wake house?

Nora would have surely farted on that one...

[Anonymous No.7033526]

>"Damn bro u gotta hit this shit, heavy as fuck. Never had danker green, man, Edith hooked us up this time." he said. "No doubt bro, no doubt." replied Stoner.

really?

[DEVITT !!H88HZm8bUlF No.7033527]

this is one of the oldest, laziest, most unfunny memes

[Anonymous No.7033530]

>>7033527
We're not talking about your mum here m8.

[Anonymous No.7033537]

>They say one day, we will create a bomb so powerful it will end wars. In the meantime I'll bend over and endure "the gay science"

Your overman ladies and gentlemen

[Anonymous No.7033540]

>>7033530
TOLD country for no men

[Anonymous No.7033568]

> Our life truly has become the Human Comedy.
Seriously, Ballsack? More like Balhack.

[Anonymous No.7033612]

>On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, I’ve now realised for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People, by Oscar Wilde™
Goddammit, Oscar.

[Anonymous No.7033618]

>I had been waiting for the trial all day
Wtf Kafka?